That Boy’s the Talk of the Town

Clyde Andrews

The “Cute Gay Romance” Series

Healthy, Wealthy and Boyfriend Wise

Mr Heartbreak

Help! I’ve Got a Crush

The New Boy Next Door, Uh-Oh!

Harvey & Jordan, the Odd Couple

I Would Do Anything for You

That Boy’s the Talk of the Town

This series has love and laughter at its core and features cute boys falling in love with happily ever afters, too. All stories are standalone and can be read in any order.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, incidents, and dialogues are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to people, living or dead, events or locales, is entirely coincidental.

The right of Clyde Andrews to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him.

Copyright © Clyde Andrews 2019

Edited by Charlie Knight: www.cknightwrites.com

Cover by BNPDesign Studio used under license with Canva Premium for use as Kindle book cover © 2019.

ALL RIGHT RESERVED. No part of this may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author.

Published by Eridani Books 2019

The Preston Tigers’ new recruit is a hot boy named Matty…and he’s got Grayson all hot and bothered under the collar. It isn’t good for his anxiety, that’s for sure.

Before Grayson can make his move and ask Matty on a date, another boy, one who’s also hot and cute, gets in first. Grayson is suddenly out of the picture as far as Matty’s concerned, his best chance of getting a boyfriend gone.

Sure, Matty is the talk of the town, but Grayson is now all alone. Again. What does he have to do to find happiness? It can’t be that hard, can it? Just when he thinks all is lost, however, another opportunity unexpectedly presents itself.

One that will surprise Grayson and change his life forever.

Sometimes happy ever afters take a while to arrive, but when they do, magic happens.

1

Grayson counted the grapes Xavier had given him, anxiety wrenching at his stomach already. “Xavier, I can’t eat these,” he declared when fifty-one were counted with no more left to count.

“Damn. I got distracted and miscounted, Bro.” Xavier took one of the grapes, returning it to the bag. “Sorry.” 

Grayson grabbed Xavier’s hand. The grape in question fell onto the kitchen bench and rolled away from the others. Thankfully, it stopped before falling off the edge, before it could never be counted again.

“You can’t take one away.” Grayson picked up the grape. His older brother looked at him with pained eyes. “You can’t take anything away, Xavier. Ever. You’ve gotta add.”

Xavier put his other hand onto Grayson’s. They stared at each other for ages. Grayson hoped he understood; he didn’t want to have to explain himself this morning. That would come later at therapy.

His older brother nodded slowly. “I understand. Every day they’re gone I feel it, too, Bro.”

Grayson felt his eyes sting, that inevitable tremble of his bottom lip not far behind. “Yeah…it’s…being the seventh makes it harder. And I…” He couldn’t finish his words and his vision blurred until Xavier become a ghostly mist through the tears. 

“It’s all right. I’m here for you—we’re here for each other.”

Xavier added a grape, and Grayson accepted that. He closed his lunchbox’s lid. A wave of relief washed over him; his brother did understand. Thank God. He wouldn’t know what to do without Xavier.

“Don’t forget you’ve got your therapy appointment after school. I’ll leave work early and take you.”

Grayson pressed his lips together; a frown marred his brow as much as his brother’s words stained his mind. “I don’t want to go. I’ve got enough of my meds for now. I’m okay. Besides, the man farts, Xavier. They stink like sauerkraut. Honest to God.”

“You have to go. We’ve all got to do things we don’t want to, and it’s important, whether you need more meds or not. I love you, and I want you to be okay. All right?”

“I love you as well, Xavier.” Grayson slung his backpack onto his shoulder, thinking about how his lucky underwear—the rainbow striped ones—had better counter any mishaps or bad luck today. “But I still don’t want to go.”

Xavier smiled warmly. “How about I get us some takeout for dinner tonight? My treat.”

“You don’t have to do that. It’s hard enough since—”

“Stop that.”

“But it’s true.”

“Look. Let me worry about stuff like that. I want to get us a treat, so I will. If I have to do a couple of hours overtime tomorrow, then I will.” He picked up his car keys. “So, what’ll it be? Maccas? Nandos? What?”

Grayson resigned to his brother’s argument—it would save him from spiraling into deeper anxiety. At least his therapy sessions were helping him recognise some of the triggers. Not all of them, but he felt he was making progress. Old farting psychiatrist aside. “I dunno. I think I’d like Maccas…but what if I get an odd amount of pickles in my cheeseburger?”

“Then I’ll order it without pickles.”

“But what about the fries?” Grayson felt his stomach tighten. “I can’t even go there if…”

“It’ll be okay.” Xavier put his arm around Grayson, leading him to their front door. “I’ll check them. And before you say it, I won’t take any away to make it even. If they’re odd-numbered, I’ll give you one of mine. Promise.”

Grayson sighed relief. “You’re the best, Xavier.”

“Don’t I know it.” Xavier said as he closed and locked the front door behind them.

Outside their small, red brick-veneered, single-story rented house nestled in the leafy northern suburb of Northcote, Grayson couldn’t help but think about how it was nowhere near as lovely as their house before…

Before…

He shook his head, stomach knotting tightly. He couldn’t think of that. Instead, he needed something more tangible. He brought his arm around his brother, reciprocating his affection. Xavier was his only family. Their home, as modest and sparsely furnished as it was, was where their love lived.

And that was all that mattered.

“Hey, Gray.” A sharp slap on his back accompanied Blake’s exuberant voice. “How’s it hangin’?”

Grayson winced, even though he was used to his best friend’s idiosyncrasies. Heck, he had plenty of his own; no doubt he drove the boy crazy half the time. “I’m good.”

“Aww, you don’t sound good. Didn’t you get any dick last night?” Blake came around to face him. His thick eyebrows were raised, and he wore his famous cheeky grin.

Grayson pushed him away playfully, but Blake was a leech as always. He locked his arm into the crook of Grayson’s, walking with him to their first class. Grayson snorted. “Just ‘cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m easy, Blake.”

Blake shrugged. “If I swallowed dick, I’d want it all the time. I mean, I know how girls love it when they give me blowjobs so it must be good, right?”

“You’ve never had a girlfriend, so how would you know?”

“Yeah, I have.” Blake waved his free hand in a roundabout gesture. “Remember Cindy?”

“Oh, yeah. I do.” Grayson chuckled. He loved how Blake always made him feel better—or at least think of other things. “Wasn’t she the one who decided she didn’t like boys anymore when she retracted your foreskin?”

“It’s not my fault I hadn’t showered, and she wanted me on the spur of the moment after footy training.”

“You’re gross. Just FYI.”

“Meh.” Blake laughed. “My pheromones were too much for her, me being a real man and all.”

“More like your dick cheese was too much.”  

“That’s a moot point. If you like someone, you like them for who they are, cheesiness and all.”

Grayson shivered, but had to admit he would love Blake no matter what—funky smells and cheesiness included. Pity Blake wasn’t into other boys. Or at least, Grayson didn’t think so. Blake was confusing at the best of times. “You’re giving my anxiety anxiety with that thought, you know that?”

“Facts are facts, Gray, my man.”

The first bell sounded, and Blake led Grayson into their class: biology with Ms. Patel. After Blake finally let him go, Grayson made his way to his usual seat, four rows back from the front and the second from the window.

The classroom filled with students, and Blake sat next to him, as always. “Hey, forget to tell you. Have you checked out the new boy on the footy team? He’s gay, single, and hot as all hell—name’s Matty. All the other boys who love dick are practically salivating over him, big time. You should meet him, let him know you’re around.”             

Grayson was taken aback. His stomach knotted, making him clench his teeth. After a few breaths, he relaxed enough to reply, “I don’t even know where to begin with what you just said.”

“Look, you need some stress relief…know what I’m sayin’?”

“And you think a boy I’ve never seen and don’t even know from a bar of soap is the answer to that?”

“Dick’s dick, Gray.” Blake shrugged. “If you want, I can organise a meet up after footy practice.”

“I can’t tonight. I’ve got…you know...”

“Oh, right.” Blake nodded. “Okay. How about tomorrow, then?”

Grayson sighed. “Fine. But what number guernsey is he?”

“All good there, he’s number ten—I made sure before I told you about him. He’s our new ruckman. Runs like a bull out of a gate and sure looks fit in footy shorts, let me tell you.”

Grayson nodded, contemplating his best friend’s words. If Blake said Matty was good-looking, then he must be. If there was one thing he’d learned to accept over the years, Blake had great taste. Especially when it came to boys, which was also weird…and confusing. He had introduced Grayson to his last boyfriend, Paul. Pity the boy had to move interstate—the distance between them too much to maintain anything meaningful. Not that there was anything meaningful between them in the first place, Grayson mused. 

“What’s his name again?”

“Matty. Matty Springton.”

“Fine, I’ll meet him. But I’m not promising anything. And if he’s a jerk, I’m never talking to you ever again.”

“He’s nice from what I can tell. Also, I’ve seen him in the showers, Gray. He could put of bushfires with the hose he’s got. You’ll be on your knees praying before him in no time, your face so full of his dick so you won’t be able to breathe. Trust me.”

Grayson managed a smile. “You’re such an incurable romantic, Blake.”

What he meant by those words was that he’d like Blake to get romantic with him. But that’d never happen. And he wouldn’t do anything to ruin their friendship, even if Blake had given him mixed signals lately. The touching and arm holding doing nothing to dissuade that theory. 

His best friend winked. “That’s me.”

Ms. Patel entered the classroom as the second bell sounded. A hush fell over the room once she’d coughed into her hand. Grayson was as ready as he’d ever be to learn useless crap he’d never need in the real world.

2

“I’m here to see Doctor Finkelstein,” Grayson droned to the receptionist, one who looked about as interested in the world as he felt.

He’d rather be anyplace else. He wanted to meet up with Blake; his curiosity about the new boy on the team had piqued. His best friend going on and on about Matty all day didn’t help. The way Blake painted the picture of how the boy looked, Grayson was sure he should have been a model strutting the catwalk not getting grass stains all over him on the footy field.

Still. Grass stains in the right places could be—

“Take a seat, Mister Alexander. The doctor will be with you shortly,” the receptionist said, bringing him back to the moment. With a Bluetooth device stuck in her ear, she answered an incoming call before he could thank her.

He didn’t bother.

Grayson sat, but not before counting the chairs to make sure he wasn’t about to sit on an odd-numbered one. He didn’t want to be triggered before he even got inside the psychiatrist’s office.

Xavier sat next to him. “You seem a little better this afternoon. Had a good day, did you, Bro?”

Grayson shrugged. “It was okay. Blake reckons there’s a hot new boy on their team and that I should meet him.”

“You should.” Xavier smiled. “How long has it been since Paul left to go to Queensland?”

Again, Grayson shrugged. “Dunno.” But he did know. He just couldn’t say five months, nine days, and seven hours out loud. That would trigger him further. 

“Yeah, you do. You’d know it down to the minute.”

Grayson looked into his brother’s eyes. “Okay, I do. But I’d rather not say it.”

“What’s his name?”

Grayson knew his brother’s question meant he understood the need to change the tact of their conversation. “Matty Springton…apparently.”

Xavier sucked in a breath. “Wow, small world. If it’s who I think it is, then I know his sister. She works in another department at the office and I see her all the time.”

“Is she cute?”

“Very.” His brother offered a knowing smile.

“Hard-on cute or just window dressing cute?”

Xavier put his hand on Grayson’s leg. “Put it this way, Bro. If Matty is half as good-looking as his sister is, then you’d better start learning how to jack-off quietly.”

Aside from the fact Grayson seemed to be the only one who hadn’t known about Matty before today, how the hell had his brother not told him about his night-time noises before? “I’m not noisy when I do that, am I?”

“The walls are thin, Bro. The walls are very thin.”

Before Grayson could answer, a stocky, white-bearded man appeared before him. “Well, well, if it isn’t Mister Grayson Alexander. I’m ready for you now. You’re ready, yes?”

Grayson offered his brother one of his patented “here we go again” looks. Xavier nodded, the corner of his lips creased to form a knowing but mischievous smile. “See you if you get out.”

A cheeky stink-eye was Grayson’s response.

Dr. Finkelstein’s office was so much like the doctor, it hurt: conservative, privileged, and stuffy. Even his massive wooden desk screamed “I’ve-got-so-much-money-and-I-want-you-to-know-it.” What’s more, the room smelt like what the man had for lunch, which was a noxious combination of cheese, cabbage, and something Grayson couldn’t quite put his finger on. It was bad, though. Perhaps the doctor had been emitting those sauerkraut-smelling farts of his in abundance earlier and that was the toxic lingering after smell.

Grayson shuddered.

“Sit down, Grayson. Please.” Grayson acknowledged, sitting quickly on the nearest of three Chesterfield couches scattered about the aircraft hangar-sized room. All he could think about after taking in the horror show of wealth on display was how many hours Xavier had to work so he could spend twenty minutes in here—even if they were getting a generous discount because Dr. Finkelstein had been a friend of their fathers.

He shuddered again.

The leather of the couch squeaked as Grayson shifted his weight. The doctor sat opposite him, moving one leg over his other knee into his standard “I’m listening” pose now.

That was Grayson’s cue, the clock ticking. He sucked in a breath. One thing he’d learned from these sessions was to never admit anything, not first up anyway. “Nothin’ much to tell you, really.”

The other thing he knew was that Dr. Finkelstein would never accept that. “How are you feeling about today?”

Grayson caught on what the man was referring to.

Today was the anniversary of his parents’ death. Today was also the seventh.

“I’m dealing with it.”

“Yes, I see.” It was his turn to shift his weight, the squeaking of the couch masking any other bodily functions, no doubt. Grayson cringed, mentally reminding himself to hold his breath for a few moments. “You do seem a little brighter.”

“Do I?”

“You do.”

This could go on forever—or at least eighteen minutes and thirty-five seconds of forever. Grayson decided to spill it. “I may be interested in someone, if things go well.”

Dr. Finkelstein’s eyes widened. “Does this interesting young man have a name?”

“Yeah, he does.” Grayson swallowed. “It’s Matty—Matty Springton. The new boy on the Preston Tigers’ football team, according to Blake.”

Dr. Finkelstein’s eyes widened further, making him look like he’d come fresh out of a Botox clinic and had got the works. “Yes, I know him and his family well.”

Wait, what? Grayson blinked. How was it everyone knew Matty Springton and he didn’t? Was the boy the talk of the town, or what? Or, more importantly, how was it his therapist knew him and his family?

Grayson became curious, his mind mulling over the possibilities. In fact, he became so lost in his own thoughts that he only nodded at the remaining questions: ones about his imparnumerophobia caused by the date of his parents’ death, about his brother and how they were coping, and others he really wasn’t interested in. More nods and a “yeah” every now and again seemed to satisfy the man.

Within the mire of his own head, Grayson soon realised the session was over, Dr. Finkelstein standing in front of him, hand extended. Grayson shook it. As he did so, the inevitable sauerkraut stench struck him.

He’d forgotten to hold his breath.

But before he left the room, the doctor said the most unusual thing. “Remember, Grayson. Sometimes the greatest treasure we seek in our lives isn’t even in the treasure chest or buried so far away that’s it’s unreachable, but right under our feet. Yes?”

“Okay…but I’m sure I don’t have any clue what you’re talking about.”

The man winked. “You will soon, I’m sure.”

Was Dr. Finkelstein referring to Matty? Or someone else? Or was he talking about something completely different? Grayson got the feeling that whatever the man meant it probably wasn’t what he expected it to be, and that made him feel uneasy all of a sudden.

He swallowed, gulping down his anxiety. 

Grayson was right. The number of fries were odd; his brother had to add the difference to make them even. First, Dr. Finkelstein had graduated from farting from the other side of the room to doing it while in Grayson’s personal space, and now that.

Grayson’s stomach knotted, making his muscles clench all over. He tensed his jaw.

Xavier asked, “The cheeseburger okay?”

“It’s not the same without pickles.”

“Did you want mine? I’m not fussed about ‘em.” The next question was inevitable really; Grayson noted his brother pre-empted it. “I have four slices, if you do want them.”

“Thanks, Xavier.”

“Don’t mention it.” His brother opened his burger, revealing the truth of his words.

Xavier really was the best. “I love you heaps, just so you know.”

“You don’t have to keep telling me. I know you do. Just as I love you heaps back as well.”

Grayson smiled. “I’ll never stop telling you.”

After closing his burger, Xavier took a huge bite. Through his mouthful he said, “Ewen wheth I’mm beinth dithgustin’?” And with that he opened his mouth, revealing half masticated food. For good measure—and to no doubt ensure Grayson got an eyeful—his brother poked out his tongue, a chunk of burger meat resting precariously on the end of it.

“Eww, you’re so gross!” Grayson cried out with a giggle, averting his eyes.

With the both of them laughing, Grayson realised how much better he felt. He wiped his eyes. His phone buzzed: a text message arrived from Blake. Hopefully that would good news; he didn’t want anything to ruin the moment he was having with Xavier. They didn’t get takeout often and they laughed even less.

Blake was just what Grayson needed him to be, as usual.

I couldn’t get a dick pic of Matty’s boa constrictor for you ‘cause that’s inappropriate. So, here’s a tasty snap of our new recruit fresh outta the showers showing off his abs—pity about the towel, hey? (Wink emoji). All the gay boys of the team practically had their tongues on the floor and poor Matty almost slipped on their drool. Glad I organised for you to meet him tomorrow, ‘cause the boy could have dick on tap if he wanted it. You can thank me later for being your wingman. Anyway, this pic should be good enough to give you plenty of wank bank material until you meet him for reals tomorrow.

He opened the attached photo.

Blake wasn’t lying, and Xavier hadn’t exaggerated either. Matty was…okay, Grayson felt something warm explode inside him, which in turn stirred his dick into uncomfortable action as he stared at the photo. The boy was—for lack of a better word—beautiful.

No.

Matty was more than beautiful; he was stunning with golden-blond hair, big, welcoming blue eyes, smooth snow driven-coloured skin, and well-defined body that glowed under the changeroom’s lighting, Grayson was transfixed. How could someone be so perfect?

Perhaps Matty had a voice like Kermit the Frog? Or maybe he got off on weird sexual fetishes. His bedroom probably cram-packed with instruments of his obsession, from flays and handcuffs to nipple, dick, and foreskin clamps which could be hooked up to an electric charge. Doctor Finkelstein said he knew Matty. Perhaps that was why.

Grayson hoped he wasn’t right about that.

Still, Matty took Grayson’s breath away. He gasped, shifting his weight on the kitchen stool because his dick decided it liked the look of Matty even more now.

“What’s that you’re looking at?” Xavier questioned. Thank God he’d swallowed his food before peeking again.

“A photo of Matty that Blake sent me.”

“Let me see.” Xavier snatched the phone out of his hands.

“Hey!” He protested weakly, even though he would have shown his brother anyway.

“Yep, that’s Matty all right. And yep, he’s as fit as his sister.”

“Why do I feel like the only one who hasn’t seen him until now?”

“Dunno.” Xavier’s fingers danced over the screen, zooming in. “But damn, Bro. That package of his. God! Even wrapped in that towel you can see there’s some heavy luggage there, that’s for damn sure. Gobbing that down’ll be an experience—make your jaw sore for days.” To emphasise his words, with his other hand Xavier did the whole “dick sucking” gesture complete with tongue poking the opposite inside of his cheek to make it look realistic.

Grayson rolled his eyes and took his phone back. “I haven’t even met him yet. And even when I do, ‘cause Blake’s organising this whole ‘blind date’ thing, I’m certainly not giving him a blowjob after a handshake.”

“Pfft.” Xavier shrugged. “Go for it, Bro. Get him in you every which way you can. But if you want my advice, use plenty of lube and take it slow, ‘cause from the looks of it he’s packing a side-splitter between his legs, and you’ll want to be able to sit down afterwards.”

“You’re so gross.”

“I believe we’ve established that already.”

Grayson decided he needed to talk a little more seriously. Sure, he loved when they mucked around, but without his parents to give him much needed balance, he could only hope Xavier would understand. “Xavier, can I ask you something?”

“You just did.”

“I’m being serious.” Grayson’s stomach clenched tightly once more.

Xavier had cleared away their takeout wrappers and cardboard drinks holder and was washing his hands at the kitchen sink. “I know. Spill. What’s up, Bro?”             

“Blake thinks that Matty will be into me, but I’m not so sure. I mean, you saw what he looks like. He’s hot. Really hot. Why would he want someone like me?”

“Speaking as your brother here, but why wouldn’t he want you? You’re funny, smart, and not too bad on the eyes. And besides, maybe he’s sick of everyone wanting him for his looks. Ever thought about that?”

“Yeah, right.” Grayson snorted. “Guys like him only want pretty boys, not boys who are easy on the eyes. I just don’t have that much luck when it comes to boyfriends, either. I only went out with Paul because Blake begged him, and the guy felt sorry for me. Why can’t I just be Blake’s boyfriend and be done with it?”

Xavier expression changed to one Grayson couldn’t quantify. Was it something he’d said? Before he considered his words further, his brother had put his hand onto Grayson’s arm, squeezing tenderly. “Think about this. Tomorrow’s the eighth—and not only is that an even number, it’s also a very lucky number as well. Anything can happen and anything’s possible, right?”

“I never thought of it like that.”

“What are big brothers for, hey?” Xavier let go of his arm. “Now give me a hug, then we can watch the college wrestling on Freeview until we can’t keep our eyes open. What’dya say?”

“You do know I like watching the wrestling for an entirely different reason than you, right?”

Within his brother’s loving embrace, Xavier replied, “Yeah, I like laughing at the victory boners the guys get, while you ogle at them with your tongue on the floor. Win/win if you ask me. Now, c’mon, the first match starts in a minute.”

“Five minutes and twenty-three seconds, Xavier.”

Xavier rolled his eyes but smiled. “If you say so.” 

3

Today was even numbered, so Grayson didn’t need to wear his lucky underwear. He put them into the washing machine along with other clothing of his and Xavier’s from the hamper, knowing all too well he’d probably need their “good luck” abilities soon; tomorrow was the ninth, after all. Then again, he couldn’t help but notice the pair looked worse for wear; holes at the seams had formed, and the elastic wasn’t so elasticated anymore.

After starting the wash cycle, Xavier appeared in the doorway, hair like a bird’s nest and wearing his night-time shorts and T-shirt. He’d stayed up late last night. Scratching his chest and yawning, he said, “I think I need to buy you some more underwear pretty soon—especially more of those lucky ones you need.”

“You don’t have to.” He turned the dials to start the wash cycle. “They’ll last a few more months.”

“I’ve seen the state of them. You’ll be free-balling sooner rather than later when it’s an odd-numbered day, Bro. And you don’t want that, trust me. Nothing worse than when your balls get caught in all the wrong places when they haven’t got a home. We’ll go shopping on the weekend.”

“Um…seriously, you really don’t have to do that, Xavier.”

“Bro, listen.” Xavier placed his hand onto Grayson’s shoulder. “If I want to take you shopping for the things you need, that’s what I’ll do. I’ve picked up a few more hours this week, so it’s all good. Now, how about getting your arse off to school before Blake disappears into the trench he’s made pacing up and down our front lawn.”

Grayson hugged his brother; no more words needed to be said between them. After that, and another embrace for good measure, he gathered his school bag and headed for the front door.

“Have a good day,” Xavier called. “And you took your meds this morning, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

Grayson hoped he would have a good day. He needed it.

When outside, the day fresh and clear and with blue skies for eternity, Grayson breathed in the air. It felt great. Something was going to happen today; he could feel it. Hopefully it would be something good. 

Blake stopped pacing. “About time you made an appearance. Catching up on your beauty sleep or somethin’, were you?”

“Yeah, that’s it.” He bumped fists with his best friend in greeting. They proceeded to walk side by side down the footpath, Blake hooking his arm into Grayson’s, like always. Grayson quickened his pace; he wanted to get to school sooner rather than later this morning. “Anyway, after training today I get to meet the man of my dreams, right?”

“Don’t stress, Gray. Matty’s gonna be all over you like a rash.”

Grayson swallowed. “Something tells me you’ve been up to more than just being my wingman.”

“I may or may not have shown him a few pics of you to really get him drooling and the blood flowing to his dick.”

Grayson’s stomach knotted in that all too familiar way—yep, he knew “that something” was already happening. “Um…you didn’t show him the photo of me wearing that Spiderman outfit, did you?”

“Worse than that, my friend. Worse than that.”

“What did you show him then?” Anxiety pierced Grayson’s consciousness, like a hot knife plunged into butter. He gulped.  

Blake pulled his arm out of Grayson so he could pat him on the shoulder. “Remember that holiday down at Phillip Island last year?”

Grayson’s breath hitched in his throat. “Yeah,” he replied cautiously after he composed himself. “What about it?”

“And you forgot your board shorts, so you had to swim in your underwear…and everyone was like, ‘who’s that guy parading around a surf beach in his fancy rainbow-coloured duds?’”

“Oh, God…you didn’t.”

Blake offered a shit-eating grin. “And here I thought Matty’s bulge was impressive. Even after swimming in cold seawater and with shrinkage taken into account, Gray, you’ve got an impressive package, that’s for sure.”

“I really don’t like you sometimes, you know that?”

“Glad I could be of service.” Blake laughed. “And you can thank me any time you like, ‘cause Matty loved what he saw—what gay boy wouldn’t? Heck, I even liked it. But he’s into you, Gray. Big time.”

Grayson felt his cheeks warm; did Blake just say he liked seeing him in his underwear? He shook that thought from his mind, deciding to keep the conversation on track. “As I said, I really don’t like you.”

“Aww, did you want me to give you a kiss to apologise?”

“Not if you were the last boy on Earth.” Grayson joined Blake in his joviality. Again, his best friend made him forget his worries, but added other concerns into the mix at the same time.

Blake wanted to kiss him?

What was with that? Although, he remembered the day Blake was referring to last year. Not only was it hot, it was also an odd-numbered day. And contrary to what he believed at the time, being exposed and embarrassed in his lucky “counteracting-anything-the-odd-day-might-have-thrown-at-him-underwear,” it turned out to be a good thing.

“But fair’s fair, I suppose. I’ve seen Matty in a towel and he’s now seen me in soaking wet underwear that left nothing to the imagination. We’re practically married, right?”

“Well, you’ve got to get to know him first.” Blake, still laughing, now slid his arm around Grayson, drawing him closer. “And all thanks to me, the set up’s been done. You’ve just gotta say the words and it’s in the bag.”

“If you say so.” Nerves stabbed with the same knife that caused him anxiety and Grayson’s stomach knotted, tightening further than he thought possible. He winced.

They had come onto the back oval of their school near the sports shed. A few of the hoodie-wearing boys were smoking behind it, huddled together and puffing like mad on their cigarettes to try and suck them down before a teacher began prowling the grounds to bust them.

Grayson recalled having a crush on one of them for a while. Wilson was his name. He wasn’t especially good-looking but had an awesome “boy-next-door” vibe going on with a devastatingly cute smile. A smile that used to make Grayson sigh deeply while he imagined them kissing.

Pity Wilson was a douche, as the words out of his mouth attested to: “Hey, fags, why don’t you come over here and suck on our dicks like you know you want to.”             

The others offered sneering laughter to that, naturally.

Blake, ever Grayson’s protector, snapped in retort, “You’re too late, Wilson. Damn shame that, because your Dad asked us first and he filled us up. We’re so full now there isn’t even room for your small slug or what it could spit out. Sorry, buddy.”

Wilson flipped the bird at Blake.

Blake laughed, returning the gesture.

“I would have just ignored him,” Grayson said.

“Meh. Sometimes the douchebags need to know when they’re being extra douche-y.”

Grayson shrugged.

Blake then nudged him, drawing his attention to a boy walking towards them from the other side of the oval.

That boy was Matty.

Grayson gasped.

Had Blake organised an earlier meeting, or was Matty’s appearance purely coincidental? Or luck? Today was the eighth. That had to be it, because Grayson knew Matty didn’t go to their school and had only just joined the Preston Tigers’ football team. He had no reason to be here, other than the stars aligning or whatever else would explain it.

Matty waved; Grayson returned the gesture.

The boy smiled, one full and lovely and with lips so kissable it hurt. It seemed Matty really was interested in him. Jeez, this was going well. Blake was right—not that Grayson doubted his friend. It just wasn’t common for things to go well for him, especially lately.

As Matty got closer, Grayson swallowed. Hard. If the photograph of him was something to admire, in real life he was a work of art. An Adonis so dazzling he glowed in the morning light—well, that’s how Grayson saw him. He was, to put no finer point on it, so boner inducing it took his breath away because of the instant blood rush.

“Go be fabulous, Gray,” Blake prompted with another nudge, a cheeky but knowing smile planted firmly on his lips. Yep. It wasn’t luck or kismet or whatever. It was his best friend being his best friend. Blake had organised this. How could he not have? No wonder he’d been pacing with more determination this morning. “‘If you play your cards right, you’ll have your face stuffed in a pillow and your bare butt in the air before you know it, you lucky dog.”

“I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: you’re such a romantic.”

“I only want the best for you, Gray.”

“Yeah, but you could’ve been less vulgar about it.”

“Meh. Gay boys take it up the butt when they get it on. That’s a fact. Nothing vulgar about it, really. I bet it feels great, to be honest.” 

Grayson was taken aback. Blake sure was talking weird lately. First, he admitted he admired looking at a photo of him with practically nothing on, now he was singing the praises of boy on boy action. Sure, he knew Blake wasn’t grossed out by anything, gay sex with all its ins and outs included, but this was certainly different. Then again, only a couple of weeks ago Blake had suddenly asked if he could watch porn with him.

That was an experience, especially the first time. 

“Oh, my loving God, that guy’s pounding the shit out of that other dude and he’s not even screaming,” Blake said with a hearty but nervous chuckle, eyes wide. “I’d be screaming my eyes out if I had that eight-incher shoved in my hole like that, that’s for damn sure.”

“Trevor’s one of my favourite tops,” Grayson replied, his hardness already uncomfortable, even without taking into consideration that it was trapped inside his underwear. If Blake wasn’t with him, he’d have whipped out his dick and be cleaning up his mess by now. Sure, they’d seen each other naked plenty of times, but there was the embargo on boners during any and all interaction between them. Grayson always observed that.

“Why’s that?”

“‘Cause he’s one of the few boys who can thrust an even amount of times before the bottom boy comes, that’s why.”

Blake kept up his laughter. “You do know porn is edited, right?”

“It’s also fantasy,” Grayson corrected. “And my fantasy is to be with someone who understands my very specific needs.”

“Whatever you say, Gray. Whatever you say.”    

Blake nudged Grayson again, bringing him back from his reverie. Matty was only a few feet away now; his beauty almost blinding. Grayson’s stomach unknotted, if only slightly.

But as he was about to offer more than a wave, a fist bump or a friendly hug to break the ice, the absolute worst thing that could have happened did. Another boy appeared from behind them, running up to Matty and halting the boy’s advance across the dew encrusted oval.

“Who’s that?” Grayson asked incredulously, surprised by the sudden intrusion. Had Matty been waving and smiling at that boy instead of him? If he had been, that certainly changed everything.

Grayson’s stomach returned to its natural state of entwinement.

“Oh, jeez, Gray! That’s Joachim, the leech!” Blake blurted. “He’s been leaking so much pre-come over Matty it’s become a Slip’n Slide in our changerooms lately.”

“He’s…” Grayson’s stomach knotted even more; cramping pains consumed him. “Wait, what’s he doing?”

“Shit! He’s making a move on Matty, that’s what he’s doing. Go, Gray—get in there before you’re cock blocked.” Blake nudged Grayson again, making him stumble forward.

“You sure?”

“If that leech gets his dick in, you won’t be able to get it out, that’s another fact you need to know.”

Plucking up the last vestiges of hope within him, Grayson was about to do as Blake suggested—at least to determine whether or not Matty really was interested in him—when he noticed one detail.

A detail that was more important than any other.

Joachim’s Elite Sports Programme rugby top had the number thirteen printed on the back of it. The unlucky number thirteen that shat all over number eight on the luck-scale of numbers as far as Grayson was concerned.

Grayson froze. 

“What are you waiting for, Gray?”

Grayson couldn’t speak; even his mind had locked up. What had turned out to be an all right morning, now suddenly wasn’t. It was as if he were living inside a bad dream, a haze of all his fears consuming him. He watched helplessly as Joachim hugged Matty. Grayson swallowed down the hope that had dared bubble up prematurely.

He felt awful. How could he have been so stupid to believe someone like Matty was interested in him? His stomach coiled tighter, like a rope twisted into a complicated knot. 

“He told me he was into you, Gray!” Blake said with a shocked but bitter sounding gasp, knocking Grayson from his dark and spiralling thoughts. “He lied to me, the jerk-off.” 

Grayson knew why Blake said that. It couldn’t have been clearer if it were painted fluorescent pink, lit up with neon lights, and had glitter thrown all over it: Matty and Joachim were boyfriends.

Joachim’s kiss, planted firmly on Matty’s lips, sealed that.

4

Grayson couldn’t watch Joachim enjoy Matty any longer—enjoyment Grayson thought he was due. Or more to the point, enjoyment he was led to believe could have been his. Clearly, that wasn’t the case.

 Just his luck.

Grayson’s eyes stung and tears of how let down he felt and how stupid he was for even thinking, daring to believe, that anything good could ever happen to him, fell onto his cheeks. His stomach tightened so much the constriction moved up to his chest until he found it difficult to breathe.

A long, agonising moment later, Grayson gathered up enough within himself to do one thing; it was all he could summon the strength to do.

He turned and ran, heading for home.

His sprint there was a blur of regret, hurt, and embarrassment. God, he must have looked like such a tool, smiling and waving at Matty like a desperate love-sick puppy. And Matty wasn’t returning the greeting to him at all, but Joachim, the boy behind him.

Bile found the back of Grayson’s throat. 

Grayson ran as fast as his legs could carry him, his eyes stinging, insides clenched so tight he was sure he would throw up his breakfast any moment now—it was right there, pushed up his oesophagus, ready, willing, and able.

He tried to swallow it.

Nothing.

Moments later, gasping for breath from his run and overcome by what had transpired, Grayson vomited on a rose bush a few doors down from his house. Threw up everything, including all those feelings of worthlessness.

Nobody wanted him. Why would they? He wasn’t anything special, just a weirdo everyone avoided. That was a fact Blake forgot to mention. Perhaps he should have taken up Wilson’s offer and blew all those boys behind the sports shed; at least he would have been close to someone then, even for a little while.

Still, Grayson knew no amount of purging could really get rid of his bad luck. That was his cross to bear, today and forever. More so considering the rose bush he fertilised with partly digested Weetabix and milk curdled by his stomach acid was the third one along in the hedge.

He couldn’t even throw up right.

Grayson, disgusted with himself, vomited again. And then kept vomiting until there was nothing left but that awful, yellow-green, bitter stuff that stuck to his tongue, teeth, and the roof of his mouth. He coughed and gasped and coughed again. The taste was disgusting. He wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve.

Could his day get any worse?

“Gray, wait!” Blake called. “I’ve got somethin’ to tell you.”  

Seemed it could.

“Not now…Blake.” And with that, and using a letterbox for support, Grayson righted himself from his doubled-up position. He charged towards his front door, his gait an awkward stagger, before Blake could catch him up.

Bang! Grayson slammed the door behind him, chain lock clattering against the wood. His tears wouldn’t stop. His stomach and insides wouldn’t uncoil from their eternal entwinement. He wanted to throw up again, but there was nothing but his empty heart beating lonely inside his chest.

Grayson dashed past his brother who was hanging out the washing he’d put on earlier onto a clothes horse. He didn’t hear what Xavier said.

When he was in his room, he flopped onto his bed. Unbelievably, that was when the flood he thought had dried up returned. Unable to hold it back, stop the dam from breaking, his whole body shuddered as he cried his eyes out into his pillow.

Time had no meaning while Grayson poured out his emotions. He certainly wasn’t aware of how long he’d been in his room soaking the linen with his tears but knew when his brother knocked that it’d been long enough.

The inevitable soft rap on his door was welcome.

Grayson knew his brother understood he needed to let things run their course, and it was something he had to do alone. Too long stewing by himself wasn’t good. Only then, after everything had been purged—or at least as best as it could be—would Grayson be willing to talk with Xavier, his much-needed sounding board. 

Besides, Grayson couldn’t cry anymore.

Perhaps Xavier had heard that he was no longer blubbering uncontrollably and took that as his cue. Heck, Grayson was sure the whole world sighed relief when he stopped.

That made him feel worse…again.

“It’s…okay.” He sat up, wiping his eyes. “I think I’m ready to talk now, Xavier.”

Xavier entered, carrying a bowl of chicken noodle soup, the instant packet kind; it was all they could afford, instant meals a staple food group in their home. Still, it smelt great and Grayson was thankful for the gesture. His dark thoughts were already blowing away.

Why was it that chicken noodle soup could do that? Or, more accurately, how did Xavier always know it would have that effect on him?

“Made this for you. And I phoned the school to tell them you won’t be attending today…obviously.”

“Thanks.” Grayson sat up, wiped his face, and accepted his brother’s offering, spooning it into his mouth eagerly. He realised how hungry he was after his purge, physical and otherwise.

“Good?”

“Good enough to get rid of the vomit taste out of my mouth, anyway.”

“You threw up?”

“Yeah, big time.” Grayson felt guilt prickle at the nape of his neck, adding one more thing to the long list of stuff he’d been overwhelmed with this morning already. “All over Mrs. Mayflowers’ roses.”

“Well, it is coming up for Spring—they’ll need fertilizing soon anyway. You were doing her a favour.” Xavier shuffled closer, putting his hand tenderly onto Grayson’s shoulder after he took the empty bowl off him, placing it onto the nightstand. “It wasn’t Blake’s fault, you know.”

“I know.”

“He’s waiting for you in the lounge room. He’s worried, and so am I, to be honest.”

“I’m okay.” He put his hand onto Xavier’s. 

“Did you want me to make another appointment for you to see Dr. Finkelstein?”

Grayson retracted his hand. “Hell, no.”

“Now don’t hold back there, Bro,” Xavier teased with a gentle laugh. “You sure that’s a no?”

Grayson felt the laughter bubble up within him, but it wouldn’t break free from the tightness of his insides that lingered. Not yet. Although, when he thought it would happen, offer a ray of light on an otherwise dark day, Xavier turned and looked him in the eye, his expression serious enough to furrow his brow.

The air between them turned sombre.

“Grayson.” He knew his brother’s next words would be serious because Xavier never called him by his name. “I’m doing all I can for you, because you rock this world like no one else I know. You make everything worthwhile ‘cause you’re not only awesome, but you’re a beautiful person, too. That’s the truth. Matty doesn’t matter. You’ll find someone who loves you and wants to be with you for who you are, who will respect and admire you every day, I know it. But for the here and now, we’ve got each other and that’s all that matters. Right?”

Grayson felt his eyes sting once more.

Xavier pulled him into an embrace; Grayson held him back but tighter, loving the feeling of his brother’s warmth, his comfort. Xavier added, “You’re my family, and together we can do anything. Stuff everyone else, including the vacuous pretty boys like Matty.”

“I would have liked to have had a chance to stuff him with something, though.” That laughter finally surfaced, if only to manifest itself as a gentle giggle.

“Trust me, you may have been thinking with your dick when you thought Matty was into you, but you’ll want a guy who respects you and calls you the next day.”

“Where are they all then?”

“Probably closer than you think.” But before Grayson could question what his brother meant, he added, “And yeah, that’s the question everyone asks when it comes to finding love, isn’t it?”

Grayson decided to concentrate on the second part of what Xavier had said. “Why’s it so hard finding someone to love, Xavier?”

“Dunno.” Xavier shrugged. “But now you know why God made our arms long enough so we could reach our dicks and get in a good jerk-off session when times get tough.”

Now Grayson really did laugh. “Yeah, looks like I’ll be doing plenty of that for a while.”

“Just keep the fapping sounds to a minimum—I need my sleep.”

As he let go of Xavier, a tear of joy fell from his eyes. Grayson didn’t wipe it away. It was welcome. “I really do feel better now. Thanks.” 

“That’s good. Now go see to Blake and give him a hug or something, because he’s pacing a groove in our carpet out there and I haven’t got the money to replace it.”

“Then I’d better get a move on before he gets to the floorboards.” Grayson shuffled off his bed, but not before giving Xavier one more hug. “I love you, Xavier. I know I keep saying it, but it’s true. Everyone needs to tell those they love that all the time. Otherwise, how would they know?”

“It’s not just the words, but what people also do that tells someone they love them as well.”

“I know—and what you do for me tells me that every day. But saying it to you makes me feel better.”

“Then never stop saying it.” Xavier pulled Grayson out of their second embrace, looking him the eyes but with less intent than earlier. “I’ve got to get to work soon. You gonna be okay?”

“I take it Blake’s taking a day off school because of me?”              

“I’d say he is.”

“Then I’ll be fine—although, I definitely owe him an apology.”

“I’m sure he understands that when you get emotional, you need your space. Heck, we all do.”

“Yeah, you’re right. And aside from you, Xavier, he’s all I’ve got.”

“Then go do what’s right.”

5

Xavier left for work, but not before a couple more hugs and a reminder that Grayson needed to take his medication again seeing as he’d thrown up this morning.

“That’s a fallacy, Xavier. Pills take ten to fifteen minutes to work.” Grayson checked his phone’s time. “I threw up forty-two minutes and ten seconds after I took the tablets. I won’t need to re-dose.”

“If you say so.” Xavier sighed, but gave him another embrace. “Anyway, I’ve gotta go. Talk to you soon, Bro.”

“Have a good day.”

“I’m sure work’ll be as enriching and entertaining as it always is,” Xavier countered with thick sarcasm dripping from his words. 

Grayson and Xavier both laughed. 

After Xavier left, Grayson went to the loungeroom. Blake was pacing the floor but stopped dead in his tracks, smiled, and nodded in a way that not only conveyed his forgiveness, but more importantly, his understanding. “Your lucky underwear’s on its last legs there, Gray.” When he said “last legs” he did those amusing air-quotes that made Grayson giggle.

Xavier was right; Blake was what he needed right now.

Blake smiled, and Grayson returned it.

It was then he noticed how the morning sun streaming in from the loungeroom window, dust motes dancing, seemed to make his best friend glow angelically, even more than Matty did on the oval earlier. There was no doubt Blake was good-looking, what with his dark brown swoop of hair that matched the colour of his big welcoming eyes and the smattering of freckles over the bridge of his nose. How could he not be considered hot?

“With the way things are going, I’ll probably throw them out and just wear my normal pairs from now on.”

“Aww, I suspect someone needs a hug. Am I right?” Blake opened his arms, his smile now a charming wriggle across his lips.

“You’re right, I do. And sometimes I wish I had better luck than none.”

Confronted by Blake’s welcoming gesture, Grayson was pulled towards him—the compulsion to do so nothing more than his presence. And that was enough.

Blake and Xavier were his universe.

“Your luck’ll change soon, I know it.” 

As Grayson fell into his best friend’s embrace, took in his scent of musky soap and sweet, fruity shampoo, and his underlying musky manliness, he couldn’t help but contemplate what Blake’s last words meant.

Grayson swallowed.

Was there something between them, as Grayson had always suspected? Or was it all a figment of his twisted thoughts caused by his anxiety? Still, Grayson’s insides sure were churning—and not like this morning, either. Not even like when he saw Matty in that towel.

Blake did strange things to him when he was close. Things Grayson liked.

But Blake was straight.

He liked girls, even though he’d only ever been with Cindy who so happened to run a mile when he’d dropped his pants down to his ankles. Grayson couldn’t fathom why girls weren’t all over him, to be honest. Because he loved how Blake looked, in or out of his clothing. He was fit, slim but with great muscle definition, and he was well proportioned, his dick included in that. Sure, it wouldn’t win any size contests, but to Grayson it was perfect.

Blake was perfect.

If only he wasn’t straight…

Heck, even that lovely long foreskin of his would be wonderful to retract, like unwrapping a gift to greater delights. What could be better when it came to being intimate with someone than to enjoy them on every level, physically and emotionally? Cindy didn’t know what she was missing. Grayson sure didn’t see what was repulsive about Blake at all.

Blake would be perfect for him.

He knew it.

But Grayson shook those thoughts from his mind before they poisoned him. He had never entertained the idea of doing anything with Blake that could affect their friendship before because those thoughts were toxic. He understood he could never be with Blake, even though he knew deep down they were so right for each other.

He just couldn’t.

Never ever.

No way.

But then Blake said, “Because strange things can happen when you least expect them, Gray.”

Grayson swallowed, closing his eyes.

He couldn’t answer that. 

For the longest time they held each other. Longer than usual. No more words were said, but Grayson’s mind worked overtime. Those thoughts couldn’t be vanquished. More so because he loved how he felt so complete in Blake’s arms, like it was meant to be.

Like they were put onto this Earth for each other.

Then, as Grayson’s thoughts spiralled to ones more erotic, as wild as they could ever be when it came to his best friend and what could happen between them, he felt himself stir. His heart, naturally, also decided to complete with his Adam’s Apple for space.

He gasped. 

Grayson suddenly pulled away, the moment too intense wrapped in his best friend’s arms.

“What’s the matter?” Blake questioned, those big beautiful browns of his glistening but not reflecting hurt, only genuine curiosity and concern.

“Nothing.” Grayson cleared his throat, fidgeting with his fingers in front of himself to do anything but reach out and touch Blake again, because that’s what he really wanted to do. “I’m just…it’s been a huge day. Can we just, you know, chill for a bit?”

Blake shrugged. “Sure. You wanna watch your favourite porn star Trevor pound some poor hapless bottom boy evenly? I bet you need the relief after what that douche Matty did to you.”

“You’re right. And normally that wouldn’t be a problem...”

“But?”

“I don’t think I can…not right now. It wouldn’t be…appropriate.”

Blake seemed taken aback. “You’ve never had a problem with me watching porn with you before. I mean, I know we don’t show each other our boners, but if you’re that worried, I’ll let you cover yourself with a blanket for extra security.”

Wait, what? Blake got a boner when he watched gay porn with him? That was news to Grayson.

But again, he had to keep the conversation on track, for his own sanity. “I’m not worried about you seeing my dick, hard or otherwise.”

“What then? You don’t wanna see mine?”

Grayson would love to see Blake naked right now—have him hold him again like before but this time feeling his skin all over him as their bodies pressed together, tenderly, lovingly, and oh, so beautifully. Oh, God. He swallowed again. “I didn’t think you liked watching gay porn? I mean, it doesn’t do anything for you, does it?”

“It doesn’t bother me. A chance to wank is a chance to wank—and if I’m gonna do it, why not do it with you? If you want, I can give you a helping hand, no worries.”

Shit. Where was Blake going with this? He’d never suggested anything like that before, either. Something had changed. But what?

Grayson became confused as his wishful thoughts from before seemed to manifest themselves into reality. Or was it Grayson’s anxiety that altered Blake’s words in his mind?

Perhaps Xavier was right, and he needed to re-dose his medication.

Grayson decided the best course of action was to change the subject. “I’m sorry about earlier, Blake.” Grayson managed a smile, but it was filled with doubts. What he believed he knew about Blake wasn’t perhaps the whole picture. Funny how a lifetime of knowing someone wasn’t enough to understand them. “Things kind of...well, you saw. I looked like a complete tool, didn’t I?”

“No, you didn’t. I was honestly led to believe that Matty was into you. He told me heaps of times how hot you were. But…but I’m sorry, too. I should have known. Pretty boys like him are always on the pull, even if they have someone else.”

Grayson nodded. “Thanks, Blake.”

“Hey, don’t mention it.” Blake put his hand onto Grayson’s shoulder. For the first time since they’d known each other, his best friend’s touch seemed to convey something more than friendship.

“How ‘bout we watch something else? Game of Thrones or something? Sound good?”

Blake’s adorable smile returned. “Sure, but if you crack a fat over John Snow again, you’ve got to whip it out and stroke it good and hard for my amusement. Deal?”

Grayson wasn’t used to Blake talking like that. Something had definitely changed. He wasn’t imagining it or wishing it. Perhaps Matty rejecting him turned out to be a good thing? The number eight trumping thirteen, after all.

But Blake was straight.

He was only mucking around…right?

“I suppose I’ve got no choice but to take that deal then.”

Thankfully, Grayson didn’t get a hard-on over John Snow. The fact he wasn’t in many scenes during the episodes they watched sure helped. There was no doubt the man was hot—and yes, under normal circumstances watching him be all broody and sexy would have been a great reason to whip out his dick and give it a few good tugs. But things between Grayson and Blake were different now. Grayson could feel it in his bones, right to his core.

And that scared him.

When they’d watched a few episodes, Blake stretched, bringing his arm around Grayson. “You hungry, Gray? ‘Cause I could eat a horse right about now. Watching dragon porn sure brings on my appetite.”

“A little,” Grayson answered with a giggle; he loved how Blake always had a different way of looking at things. “I’ve only had a small bowl of chicken noodle soup after emptying everything else I had in my stomach onto Mrs. Mayflowers’ roses.”

“I saw that. Nasty.” Blake sat up but didn’t uncoil his arm from Grayson’s shoulder. The result was that his best friend had become close to him all of a sudden. So close their noses almost touched.

Grayson’s breath caught in his throat. He tried to gasp. Blake got closer and he did gasp. Was he…was he going to what…kiss him?

Things had certainly changed.

Grayson closed his eyes, waiting for the moment that would change his life, because everything has been building up to this. He tried to centre himself, but his insides churned. Not in the gut-wrenching way like they did after Matty ignored him after leading him on, but in a way that was strange. It was almost comfortable, even if unfamiliar.

Grayson swallowed.

If Blake was going to kiss him, reveal how he really felt after all this time, Grayson would let it happen. How could he not? Blake was making the moves. And if he did what Grayson hoped he would do, it had been a long time coming, that’s for sure.

He knew without doubt that Blake was so right for him.

But a long moment passed.

What was happening? Why hadn’t Blake kissed him? Grayson had counted to one hundred. He couldn’t go to one-hundred and one. He opened his eyes. Blake was looking at him deeply and with intent, his eyes wanting. That made Grayson’s stomach flip, but also made him feel nauseous. Was Blake still deciding? 

Would they kiss?

Grayson moved closer, taking the initiative; Blake’s breath ghosted across his lips. God, that felt good. If Grayson’s insides were flipping before, they were now doing somersaults. He tried to breathe evenly, pretend that he wasn’t in turmoil by this turn of events, but failed.

Big time.

Blake didn’t move away but brought his other arm around Grayson’s waist. He gasped at that more intimate touch, sucking in air so it made a strange shuddering hissing sound. Was this finally it? Would this be his true first kiss from a boy? A boy who he’d loved all his life but believed they were only friends up until now?

Could they be more than that though? Would they work as lovers instead of friends?

Grayson knew one thing: this was their defining moment.

Blake still didn’t withdraw.

Grayson put his hand onto Blake’s knee, squeezing it gently. With joy so painful it hurt, he moved even closer, even if the measurement of the distance was only slight, miniscule really. But still. It was a move forward.

Their lips brushed.

Instantly, Grayson’s stomach ached in delight and the need for more overwhelmed him. But Blake’s lack of movement had turned into something else. It was like he was frozen. What was that about?

Grayson then had to know. He had to be sure that what could follow in the next few moments wouldn’t ruin everything between them. That this was something they both wanted. Something they both needed.

“W-what are you…what are you thinking about…Blake?”

Blake breathed, “I’m scared of what we could be.”

“Then kiss me and find out.”

But Blake withdrew. He came back into focus after being so close for so long. He took his arms away from Grayson. He missed his touch already. “I want to, Gray. I really do.”

“Then do it. I need you to kiss me.”

“I’m not sure…”

“How can you say that? You know it’s right.” Confusion reigned even more, and Grayson felt his emotions bubbling again. Emotions that he’d thought he’d vanquished from earlier. His stomach tightened, squeezing out everything that had felt good and right and perfect there. He knew without doubt he wanted Blake more than anything.

Did Blake really want him though?

Unfortunately, the cat was out of the bag, so to speak. Grayson had declared his true feelings. Yet again, it was up to Blake. Could they move on from here if Blake rejected him?  

“Is it right, or is it just convenient?” Blake whispered.

Grayson couldn’t speak, his worst feelings realised. Was Blake right? Would their relationship be nothing but a convenience because they’d always been there for each other? Or was that just an excuse to hide how he really felt? Grayson opened his mouth, but no words came out.

When he closed it, Blake put his finger onto his lips. “Gray, I’ve always wanted you. You’re the only one for me, I know that now. But I’ve…I’ve got some things to sort out.”

“What t-things?”

“Will you wait for me?”

“H-how…long?”

“Not long. It’ll be done by my eighteenth birthday next week. I promise.”

“Then you know I will.”

Blake sighed relief. “Thanks for understanding.”

“When it comes to you, I’ll always try.”

“You’re a better man than me, Gray. I don’t think I can wait until next week, to be honest. But I have to. And just so you know, I think you’re hot.”  

“God, Blake. You’ve now given me a hard-on I don’t think I can get rid of any time soon.”

Blake laughed. “You’ve got a boner? Heck, I’ve had one for you since I sprouted pubes. And yes, I want to swallow that gorgeous dick of yours real soon, ‘cause I know it’ll feel perfect inside every hole I have. God, you’ve always made my balls ache until I can rub one out. That’s a fact you also need to know.”

“What? Why…why didn’t you tell me earlier? I would have waited for you no matter how long things took.”

“Like I said, I’ve got some things to sort out and I’m not sure how it’ll all pan out. My family aren’t as understanding as Xavier. Only my Grandma understood and accepted me, and she’s the only one I told about how I feel about you. But she’s not here anymore.”

“I loved your Grandma. She was awesome.”

“She loved you.” Blake’s voice didn’t reflect sadness, only the fondness of memory as he talked about her. “But now I have no one on my side except you and Xavier. And no matter what happens from here on, I’m doing it for you.”

Grayson then got worried; concern tightened his stomach now instead of the constant state of anguish and anxiety that was there most other times. “What are you going to do?”

“Make us some lunch.”

“Very funny. But you know what I mean.”

Blake smiled. He got up, heading for the kitchen. Grayson couldn’t help but notice how damn fine he looked in those butt-hugging jeans he wore…on purpose, he realised. In fact, as Grayson went through the archives of his mind, he concluded that Blake had always been interested in him, flirting with him most of the time. No wonder there was always talk of his dick, hard or otherwise, and that Blake had suddenly wanted to watch porn with him. 

How could he have not seen that sooner?

Then again, he knew why: their friendship was more important than anything. That and the fact he was usually mired in his own anxiety, so much so it sometimes suffocated him, and especially lately. In any case, their friendship was now developing into something more.

Grayson was ready for that.

He also couldn’t help but think about Dr. Finkelstein’s last words before he left his last session: “Remember, Grayson. Sometimes the greatest treasure we seek in our lives isn’t even in the treasure chest or buried so far away that’s it’s unreachable but right under our feet.”

Damn, even the doctor knew Grayson was hiding his true feelings for Blake and that he was the boy for him. Seemed he wasn’t such a bad therapist, after all. Or were those words about something else? Something more important that even Grayson couldn’t imagine?

He shook that thought from his mind.

For the here and now, at least the day hadn’t turned to total shit. 

6

That evening, after Grayson and Xavier had eaten a simple dinner of spaghetti bolognese they’d prepared together, washed up, and tidied the kitchen, and while Xavier dried the dishes, Grayson said, “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, fire away.”

“I’m worried about Blake.”

Xavier chuckled. “When is Blake not a worry? Heck, between you both, I don’t know how I manage not ripping all my hair out.”

“I’m being serious—and for the love of God, can you not wipe that plate anymore. You’ve done it sixteen times already.”

“You’ve been counting that?”

“I always count. Everything.”

“Okay, okay. I’m putting the plate down before you get completely triggered,” Xavier said with a mocking but gentle laugh. “What do you want to talk to me about?”

“Blake and I…well…we have feelings for each other.”

Xavier snorted. “And you think you’re the only one who observes things?”

“What? You knew?”

“Put it this way, Bro. If Blake was any more obvious, he’d have been arrested for public indecency and other obscenities by now.”

“You’re kidding me. How could I not have noticed that?”

“As Mum used to say, if you’re looking through the camera lens all your life, even though you’re observing it, you’re not really living it, are you?”

“That’s true. Blake has been showing signs that he’s been interested in me, I just haven’t picked up on them.” Grayson was coloured surprised, pleasantly so. “Perhaps I’ve been so worried about myself and…you know…my conditions and missing Mum and Dad, that I’ve forgotten to look up and really see what’s going on around me.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Blake’s been there for you every day. He understands. I’m sure he’s just been waiting for the right time to reveal how he’s really felt.”

“That’s what he told me today.”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about. He loves you, Bro.”

“And I love him.”

“Good.” Xavier picked up the final plate, drying it. Grayson made a mental note not to count how many times he wiped the surface. He couldn’t. He stopped his brother on an even number. Xavier rolled his eyes. “Now that that’s established, get that fine boy into your bed and pound each other until you’re both so sore and exhausted you can’t walk for a week.”

“You’re so gross.” Grayson laughed. “But how do you feel about me being with Blake?”

“Relieved.” His brother hung up the tea towel over the oven’s handle, the dishes all dried. “He’s so right for you. Sure, Paul was okay, but he didn’t seem to be in the relationship as much as you wanted him to be. And if you got with Matty, I’m sure you’d have a lot of dick to keep you happy but physical love isn’t everything, that’s for sure. But with Blake, I know you’ll be complete. And that’s the most important thing.”

“Then all I have to do is wait for him.” Grayson’s brow furrowed. “But I don’t understand something. Why would Blake want me to get with Paul and Matty if he had feelings for me all this time?”

“That’s easy to answer,” Xavier beamed. “By being with other guys, it would make you realise how much you really want Blake. He knows that, too, I’m sure. I mean, I know you felt like you needed something more after Paul turned out to be a dead starfish, am I right?”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“So, that’s why. Blake knew they wouldn’t compare, because aside from yours truly, he really does love you more than anyone.”

“You’re right again. But still, I think there’s more to it than that. He kept talking about his eighteenth birthday.”

Xavier shrugged. “As far as things go, I think Blake’s your man. Not only was he willing to see you happy if one of those guys did turn out to be the right one for you, he was also willing to risk that. And in my book, if you can set someone free, then you’re not selfish or a jerk. And these days, that’s gold. Trust me.”  

“Yeah, he’ll be worth it.”

“I know he will be.” Grayson began to laugh as he thought about earlier, before Blake made him those tasty ham sandwiches—the ones with the even amount of ham slices between the bread. Blake really did know him well…and cared for him…and loved him. “I mean, we only touched lips this morning and I’ve had to go wank three times already. The first load I blew, I almost blacked out.”

Xavier joined in, laughing heartily. “Wow. That must have been something. Not very often that happens, Bro. I mean, you never did that with Paul, did you?”

“Never.”

“But please tell me I’ll be able to see myself in the bathroom mirror when I shave tomorrow morning.”

Grayson poked out his tongue. “I cleaned up any mess. I always do.”

“Just teasing you, Bro. But be prepared when Blake’s finally ready for you, ‘cause from the sound of it you’ll end up in a coma after the first time he makes you come.”

“Then I can’t wait.”

Being with Blake the next day was a dream. Grayson was in love with him, always had been now he that thought about it.

The school’s final bell sounded. Grayson and Blake made their way down to the main football oval; practice would start in twenty minutes with Coach Granger, and Blake always liked to be early. It was another one of his things. Grayson wasn’t worried about that. More so because he had enough of his own concerns to deal with and adding Blake’s into that mix would overload him. A disaster like yesterday that made him run home the result of that, no doubt. 

“I’ll be with you in a sec, Blake.” Grayson had to pee, the pressure too much already. He would have gone earlier but the bathroom he chose had five other boys in it. That was something he couldn’t deal with. The football changeroom’s bathroom would probably be empty this early before training. Perfect. “Gotta answer the call, you know.”

“Want me to come hold it for you?”

“I would like that.” And that was true. Grayson sure was getting used to the new Blake. He loved it, in fact. “But save me my seat in the stands please. I don’t think I could handle it if anyone else got my spot and I’d have to get Coach Granger over to then come and sort it out—‘cause he knows me and…well, you know.”

“Gotcha.” Blake then did something Grayson would have never expected, not before yesterday and certainly not in a wide-open public space. He pecked him on his cheek. The touch was warm and sensual and full of his feelings for Grayson, even if those feelings hadn’t been fully realised yet. “But don’t be too long.”

At those words, Grayson felt his face heat up to the point of ignition. Where Blake had pressed his lips, it was practically on fire. He tingled all over, something he could get used to as it was far better than how he usually felt inside. “S-sure…I-I won’t be l-long at all.”

As he walked away, Grayson touched his cheek, remembering Blake’s contact and missing it already.

Once inside the team’s changeroom, he headed for the bathroom. When inside, he counted the stalls. It had six. Grayson never peed at the urinals. That was a whole other level of anxiety he didn’t want to experience, especially if a taller boy so happened to pick the one next to his. And there were plenty of those on the Tigers’ team—taller boys were always selected because it gave them a height advantage for spoils during games.             

Grayson went to the second stall away from the door. He unzipped his jeans and pulled out his dick from the vent of his lucky “well-worn” underwear, because that’s the way it was done. The manufacturers didn’t put them in the design so boys could pull their underwear down from the waistband or rummage around for their equipment through the leg opening. What kind of Neanderthal did that anyway? Again, his anxiety was bad enough without that concern added onto the pile.

When he’d done his business and noted that he really did need new underwear of the lucky variety—thank goodness for Xavier’s offer of a shopping trip this weekend—he heard someone enter the bathroom.

Football practice hadn’t even started yet. Only seven minutes and forty-five seconds had elapsed since Blake kissed him on his cheek. Grayson had checked that on his phone, because it was now seven minutes and fifty-five seconds too long without being near Blake.

Who could that be then? Was it Blake checking up on him? Or more salaciously, had he changed his mind and came to help Grayson answer nature’s call? 

“Hey, sis!” a boy with a sexy voice said, obviously talking into his phone—because despite how forward things had progressed lately, no girl would ever want to come into the football toilets under any circumstances. Heck, Grayson was only here because it was quiet. He’d rather do it behind a bush than be in here when the whole team was around. They were animals.

The boy continued, “Just thought I’d catch up and tell you the latest about that desperate-assed jerk Joachim. I told him to get lost. I mean, wow, not only did he bear hug me to death yesterday and then practically suck my face off, he did it deliberately so Blake’s hot friend would think I was taken or somethin’.”

Ah, it was Matty. Shit, Grayson cursed to himself. That was all he needed.

A pause while Matty listened to the reply. “I know, right? Just because they all think I’m good-looking doesn’t mean I want to have sex with them all. That’s all Joachim wanted. He said that. Like, literally told me to my face that he wanted me to stick it in him so he could move on. Guys can be such douchebags sometimes. Why can’t I just meet someone who wants me for me and not what I’ve got in my pants?”

Another pause.

“You’re right. I’ll try and find Grayson today. He seems like a nice guy from what Blake told me. Anyway, talk later, sis. Love you.”

Grayson swallowed.

That complicated everything.

Not because Grayson knew without doubt that he wanted Blake, always had when he thought about it, but because Matty now believed he had a chance with him. Time to set things straight before there was a misunderstanding. Today was the ninth, after all.

On cue, Grayson’s stomach knotted. 

He flushed the toilet. Thank God he’d stuffed his dick back into his underwear and zipped up his jeans. Otherwise, knowing his luck, he’d have walked out of the stall with Mister Happy waggling about all over the place, giving Matty a one-eyed wink. There would be no coming back from that embarrassment.

“You can come out now, Grayson,” Matty called.

How did Matty know he was in there?

Grayson opened the stall’s door, and it creaked. “Before you say anything, Matty, I wasn’t spying. I was just in here doing…you know. Anyway…I…I heard everything, and I’m sorry Joachim was like that to you. That sucks.”

Matty hung up his phone, stuffing it back into his pocket. But something was weird about that and Grayson couldn’t quite put his finger on it—he could even say it was odd. Although, he couldn’t contemplate that any further; he had other things to worry about at that moment. An attractive boy he had to tell he wasn’t interested in was right at the top of the list.

“It’s okay,” Matty said. “I was going to tell you after practice. And I meant what I said. You are hot.”

“Um…thanks.” Grayson’s cheeks didn’t flush at those words, and he didn’t experience that weird squirming feeling and delicious tingling all over that Blake caused. A sure sign that Matty really wasn’t for him.

That was good. There was no connection. Sure, the boy was breath-takingly boner inducing, but looks weren’t everything. It was what others did that mattered. And Blake had always been there for Grayson, even during his breakdowns.

“You’re not so bad yourself. But I have to tell you straight up, I’m not looking for a boyfriend.”

“Oh, I see.” Matty’s gaze fell to the tiled floor. He shuffled his feet. He looked like a chastised puppy and Grayson swallowed. Matty added, “I got the impression from Blake that you were available.”

“I was…until Blake told me he wanted me.”

“Blake? The very same Blake who showed me that cute photo of you in your rainbow underwear at the beach and talked up how awesome you are? That Blake?” But Matty’s inflection didn’t reflect surprise, as Grayson would have imaged.

Something was fishy about this whole situation.

“Yeah.” Grayson felt unsure now, about a lot of things. “Him.”

“What’s his game then? Why do all that, show me photos of you, talk you up, if he wanted you for himself?”

That was one question Grayson could answer but would take a lifetime to explain. Heck, he wasn’t sure he could fully explain it himself, only able to grasp why Blake did what he did because of what Xavier had told him last night.

“It’s a long story.”

Grayson knew Blake’s family were ultra conservative and homophobic. He also knew why he was waiting until he turned eighteen to tell them he loved boys—Grayson the one boy he loved most of all. Next week Blake would be an adult, and as such he could do his own thing. If his family couldn’t accept him for who he was, then he had no compulsion to stay with them, legally or otherwise. Grayson just hoped things went well when he did come out.

“Let’s just say it’s been a long road for Blake and I’m now there with him, holding his hand.”

“He’s one lucky guy then. He’s also right about you. You’re okay—certainly a lot better than the other gay boys around here, anyway. All they seem to want is a one-night stand not a real relationship. Pity I didn’t get in sooner, hey?” Matty’s smile became wolfish; Grayson’s stomach tightened at the sight. That uneasy feeling strengthened its hold within him. 

“Yeah. I heard you’ve got quite a bundle to unpack down there.”

Matty offered a hollow laugh. “So, I’ve been told. But you know how things get exaggerated. Anyway. How about we start over? Friends?”

“Sure. Being friends sounds okay to me.”

Matty extended out his arms, holding his wanting smile. “But no groping. A bro hug only. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Grayson went to him. The embrace was nice, complete with a few solid back slaps, even if it lasted a lot longer than he was comfortable with. 

Unfortunately, that was the moment Blake chose to come looking for Grayson. 

“What the hell are you playing at, Matty?”

7

Grayson pulled himself away from Matty, spinning around to face Blake. He looked angry, his face bright red, hands planted firmly on his hips.

Before Grayson could explain that they were only friends, because he believed he knew what Blake had assumed when he saw them hugging, Blake spat, “Couldn’t wait to try and make a move on my boy could you, Matty? Even though I texted you last night to tell you that I had feelings for him once I found out you and Joachim were an item.”              

Wait, what? Grayson became confused. Why had Matty pleaded innocence then when he told him he wasn’t available? What was going on here?

Or more importantly, as Blake had asked, what was Matty playing at?

“I didn’t get a text from you, Blake.”

“You’re a lying piece of shit.” Blake stepped forward. Matty barged past Grayson to confront him. “Funny how you answered it, then, isn’t it?”  

Matty snarled. “What’s it to you anyway if I was trying to make a move on him? He can make his own decisions.” He clenched his fists so tight his knuckles were white. “You don’t own him. And what? You his boyfriend now, or are you just leading him on? Talk about bullshit—oh, Grayson, will you wait for me while I figure out my sexuality? What a cop out! You’re pathetic.”

“I’m pathetic? Well, that’s rich coming from you.” Blake stepped forward again, puffing out his chest. “Couldn’t wait to follow him in here, could you? Get him alone so you could make your move.”

“For your information, I came in here to talk privately with my sister, dickhead.”

And that was when things clicked for Grayson: Matty was lying. About everything. He hadn’t even spoken to his sister, not even dialled her, because when he’d hung up his phone the numbers displayed were an odd amount—there was nine of them.

Phone numbers, landline or mobile, were ten digits long.

Grayson knew something was weird about that phone call. Now he knew for certain.

“Likely story,” Blake snapped. “More likely that you came in here to try and convince Grayson to be yours, even after I told you to back off. You’re just as bad as Joachim. Worse than him, because at least he’s up front about what he wants. You’re just a snake in the grass, that’s what you are.”

“Oh, right, is that what I am? Well, I’ve got you figured out, too, Blake. You’re just a cock tease, aren’t you? How long will you make Grayson wait for you?” Matty was breathing hard, his face also red with rage. “What? Don’t look so surprised. I bet you told him to wait until your eighteenth, am I right?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“What happens next week, after your birthday? You gonna tell him to wait another week? A month? You’re so selfish.”

Grayson couldn’t hold back anymore. He’d heard enough and he didn’t like it one bit. “I’d wait forever for Blake, Matty.” Grayson’s insides returned to the state they were in yesterday morning and he could feel the contents of his stomach rising up already. Why did he have to eat so much tuna and pasta salad for lunch?

Blake and Matty looked at him. 

The truth was Grayson didn’t really know the reason Blake told him to wait, and as such he could only make assumptions, even if they were good ones. Not that it mattered. There was something that Matty didn’t realise, and it meant that Grayson would never be with him.

Not now.

Not ever.

Grayson trusted Blake. 

Before any more was said, and as Blake’s attention was diverted for a split second, Matty, as quick as lightning, pushed Blake square on his chest, sending him crashing into one of the stalls. There was a loud echoing clatter as the door was slammed open and Blake fell to the floor with no support behind him. 

Grayson screamed in horror and ran towards Blake. The knots inside him tightened, expecting the worst. He gasped when he saw Blake struggling to get up, shaking his head in an attempt to clear away the confusion from his fall. Grayson offered out his hand to help Blake, no longer concerned by his own failings.

Blake needed him.

Thankfully, he took Grayson’s offer. Blake’s hand was shaking. It was then, realising Blake was as scared as he was, that Grayson’s anxiety almost consumed him. “Blake, let’s get out of here,” he managed through clenched teeth, heart thumping hard.

Blake’s eyes looked as though they couldn’t focus. Had he heard Grayson or not? Then, instead of backing away as Grayson suggested, he barged past and made a beeline for Matty.

“You jerk-off, Matty!” Blake spat. “Attack me when I’m distracted, will you?”

Grayson, rather stupidly once he thought about it, came between them. He couldn’t bear it if Blake got hurt. “Stop! Blake, please stop! He’s not worth it. Stop this!”

The next few moments were a blur.

All Grayson knew was that Matty shoved him aside, his strength unbelievable. It was as though Grayson were a ragdoll, made of nothing of substance. His butt found the cold hard tiles before he could grab at the stall’s frame to stop himself from falling, his head only inches away from the porcelain.

That was a close call.

Pain shot through him when he tried to stand, and Grayson yelped. Through misty, tear-soaked eyes, he witnessed Blake and Matty fighting. It was dirty and rough, and punches were being thrown everywhere. Blake took one of them on the jaw when he let his defences down. He reeled. Matty took that opportunity to go in for the kill, but Blake must have anticipated the move.

“Stop, Blake!” Grayson screamed until he was hoarse, shaking uncontrollably.

Blake charged forward, head low so he could strike Matty in the stomach. With a sickening “oof” from the contact and a yelp from Matty, the boy staggered back, clutching at his body. He lost his footing on the slippery tiles, grabbing at one of the sinks to try and save himself.

He couldn’t.

Matty was flat on his back seconds later.  

The next moment, Blake knelt down beside Grayson. “Now it’s time to get out of here, before he comes to his senses.”

“W-what’s going on, B-Blake?” Grayson’s emotions had come to the fore, tears stung his eyes even more. 

Blake wiped own lips with the back of his hand. There was a bright red smear of blood across his skin. Grayson felt woozy at the sight of it but held himself together. Just barely. “I’ll tell you later. Promise.”

“I t-trust you.”

“I know you do.” Blake kissed him on his cheek, again the gesture loving and filled with tenderness. Some of Grayson’s anxiety left him, because with that one act it meant that Blake was telling the truth.

As he knew he always had been.

Blake helped Grayson to his feet, his hand still trembling within his grasp. Grayson could still see the fear in his eyes, and that stung more than his tears; tears that now stained his cheeks.

When Grayson was upright, relieved Blake was there with him, Matty staggered to his feet, holding his head. He groaned, but when he looked up, pure unadulterated rage marred his face. Matty looked ugly, his prettiness vanquished in his anger.  

“Blake, we’ve gotta get out of here. Go tell Coach Granger about—”

A yelp from Blake cut him off. It took a moment for Grayson to register that Matty had grabbed him by his guernsey and was yanking him away.

Grayson desperately tried to pull Blake back.

Matty was too strong.

He failed.

“Blake!” The relief of anguish was short lived, even if the hurt and fear remained, and it came back in a flood.

“Gray! Go! Get out of here!” Blake somehow managed to break free, twisting his frame to do so. His clothing ripped, the tear of the material almost deafening. He had turned himself around to confront Matty, but the boy must have had another goal in mind.

“You’ll pay for this, Grayson,” Matty spat, shoving Blake to one side. “If I can’t have you, no one will.”

Blake, however, wasn’t so easily pushed away. He was back in Matty’s face within a blink of an eye, shoving him back. “You can do whatever the hell you want to me, Matty, but if you ever touch Gray, I’ll smash that pretty face of yours in so bad even Joachim won’t want you!”

“You and what army?”

Matty dodged past Blake, charging for Grayson.

Grayson ran.

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, through the changerooms and across the oval, not caring who saw him crying his eyes out as he dashed passed them.

Grayson didn’t stop.

He ran until the day darkened, the perfect blue sky stained with the spilled orange stain of the setting sun. But as long as the tears flowed, he kept on running, heart pounding, muscles straining, everything hurting. He couldn’t look behind to see if Matty was following him; that would slow him down or make him lose balance. He didn’t want that. Not at all. Not until he became so exhausted, physically and emotionally, that he couldn’t run any more.

Pain stabbed at Grayson’s sides. Sweat poured off him. He had come to a supply shed on one of the council’s many parks near within his neighbourhood. Which one, he couldn’t tell. He didn’t care.

Only then did he turn to look.

No one was behind him.

Grayson sucked in the air, but it seemed too thick and cloying to get into his lungs properly. He doubled over, gasping for breath. Panic struck him. He heaved in a last-ditch attempt to breathe.

He fell, striking the ground hard.

Huddled up into the foetal position, shaking uncontrollably, and still gasping, Grayson cried out in anguish. All he could think about, see as clear as day in his mind’s eye, was Matty hitting Blake while in his fit of rage. Rage bought on by jealousy perhaps. The sounds of the boy’s strikes were sickening. The look of fear in Blake’s eyes more so. Then when Matty had done his worst to the only boy Grayson loved, he’d turned his attention onto him.

Grayson yelled out again.

He cried even harder.

His whole world crashed down on top of him. His fears, anxiety, and hurt overwhelmed him so much he became numb. Everywhere. He couldn’t move. His mind closed in on itself, his thoughts became nothing but darkness.

Darkness that suffocated him.

8

The darkness lasted for longer than Grayson could count.             

He opened his eyes slowly and even then, it hurt to do so.

No longer locked in his own mind, sounds found his ears once more as he returned to full awareness, from the rustling of branches above him from a gentle breeze to the piercing barks of dogs in the distance. 

It took a while for him to realise he wasn’t alone.

Fear stabbed at him again.

Until…

“There you are.” A gentle hand brushed the hair away from his face.

“Xavier?”

“Yeah, Bro. It’s me.” Another gentle caress across his face.

“How…how did you find me? I mean, I don’t even know where I am…everything was a blur.”

“Good thing I’d installed that tracking app on your phone, hey?”

Sadness washed over Grayson, the sort that opened the hole in his heart more. “You didn’t install it…Mum did. Remember?”

“I do.” Xavier brushed his hands across Grayson’s forehead again. “And I’m glad she did, ‘cause I thought I’d lost you until I remembered. I don’t know what I’d do. I need you, Bro. You’re all I have.” 

Grayson’s eyes gained greater focus, his world consumed wonderfully by the caring, gentle face of his brother. He reached out and Xavier took his hand. The knowing squeeze that resulted eased some of the uneasiness he still felt inside. “I need you.” But one question burned, coming to the forefront of his thoughts as it gained intensity. “Where’s Blake?”

Xavier audibly swallowed. “I’ll tell you when we get you home. I’ve called our family GP and he told me he’ll meet us there. Can you stand up?”

“I can stand if you help me. But seriously, where’s Blake? Is he okay?”

“I’ll tell you later. Don’t worry.”

“Okay, now I’m worrying. What’s happened to him, Xavier? I need to know. Please.”

Xavier swallowed again. “I’ll help you up. We’ll talk about this after you’ve been checked out by the doc. I promise I will.”

Grayson’s stomach knotted, bringing back once more the familiarity that had momentarily been dispersed. He winced. The pain, ever his companion, was now for Blake instead of himself. 

Their family GP, a middle-aged man named Dr. Myers, was friendly even if a little distant. His beard showed signs of ageing, silver hairs flecked through it. He’d also put on a few pounds since Grayson saw him last.

After the man did a few tests, including checking Grayson’s heartbeat with his stethoscope, he offered, “It seems you’ve had another panic attack, Grayson. You have been taking your medication, haven’t you?”

Grayson buttoned up his shirt front, still feeling the cold circle where the doctor had pressed his instrument, like it had branded him. What ever happened to blowing onto it to warm it up? He also knew the reason why he’d had the panic attack—thinking he was being chased by a boy in a jealous rage who wanted to rearrange how his face looked had a lot to do with it. Instead of mentioning that, he answered the question. “I have been, yeah.”

“And when’s your next appointment with Dr. Finkelstein?”

“I have the feeling that no matter what I say, you’re going to tell me to see him as soon as possible. Am I right?”

Now Dr. Myers smiled, even if the expression was as distant as he was. It kind of creeped Grayson out a little. “You are always quick on the uptake when it comes to certain things, aren’t you, young man? And right you are, professional help is very important. But for the here and now, I’ve prescribed something that will help you sleep if you need it.” He handed Xavier a script he’d torn from his pad after scrawling doctor scribble all over it. “But I think being looked after by your brother is the best medicine you could have right now.” 

“Great, looks like I’m stuck with you, Bro.” Xavier winked, taking the script offered. He was sitting beside Grayson on the opposite side of the bed to where Dr. Myers sat. He’d been holding Grayson’s hand all through the examination process. The man was right; Grayson was glad Xavier was there for him. 

The doctor added, “And take it easy for the next few days, both of you.” He closed his case and stood, making his way for the door. “Now, that’s me done. I’ll see you all soon, I’m sure.” 

Xavier jumped up, letting go of Grayson. Grayson missed his comfort instantly. “How much do I owe you for the home visit, Doc?”

Dr. Myers turned. He looked at the both of them in turn over the rim of his glasses, his expression stern, as if the man was in deep thought. “Consider my visit a favour, and we’ll say no more about it.”

“I can pay. We don’t want any charity.”

Dr. Myers smiled again; it was no less creepy. “We were saying no more about it from what I recall.”

“Okay…I’ll, umm…I’ll see you out then.” Xavier’s brow furrowed to darken his disposition.

“That would be fine, Xavier.” The man offered a tilt of his head. “And goodnight, Grayson.”

“Yeah, see you later, Dr. Myers,” Grayson replied.

Xavier escorted the doctor out of Grayson’s bedroom. Grayson knew his brother wasn’t happy about not paying. And even though they couldn’t afford much, his brother didn’t expect anyone to do things for them for free—especially when it came to Grayson’s needs.

Xavier returned from seeing the doctor to the door, shaking his head, and Grayson sat up. The burning question within him no longer allowed to remain unanswered. “Now that he’s gone, tell me what’s happened to Blake, Xavier.”

“Don’t get upset—you need to rest. You heard the Doc.”

Grayson’s stomach knotted to unbelievable tension, tension that spread through him like a sickness. He gasped, and his throat constricted. “I am upset, Xavier.”

Xavier sat on the bed, grabbing Grayson’s hand once more. “Listen to me and listen carefully.”

“Oh, God…this isn’t going to be good news, is it?”

“Please, Bro…just listen.” Grayson gulped but he nodded. “Blake has been admitted to hospital and—”

“What?!” Grayson pulled his hand out of Xavier’s sitting bolt upright. “No! Xavier, you should’ve told me earlier—I’ve got to go to him. Why didn’t you tell me? If Blake’s hurt, I need to see him. Why, Xavier? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Grayson felt his eyes sting in that all too familiar way. Breathing became harder the more he thought of the worst, imagining Blake helpless and needing him by his side. Grayson tried to clamber off his bed. He had to see Blake. Xavier put both hands onto his shoulders to stop him. He stared at his brother for the longest time, before whispering painfully, “Why, Xavier? Why?”

Xavier brought Grayson into an embrace, wrapping him in his arms; Grayson accepted the gesture, holding him back with just as much love. “Bro, I said to listen. Please. Just breathe and relax. I haven’t finished telling you what’s happened.”

“But Blake’s hurt!” Grayson couldn’t relax. His thoughts were only of Blake; his heart could only beat for him. “He needs me.”

“He’s okay—”

“But he’s in hospital.” Grayson felt his hot tears drop onto his cheeks. “People don’t go to hospital to eat the food in the café, do they?”

“Bro, you’re not listening.” Xavier’s voice wasn’t stained with impatience or frustration—quite the opposite. He untangled Grayson out of his embrace to look him in the eye. His brother’s face softened. “It’s okay. Trust me. Blake has been texting me since he was admitted for observation—they believe he has mild concussion after Matty threw him to the floor. But with plenty of rest and them monitoring him, he’ll be okay. They’re just making sure. When I told him I was looking for you, he told me to tell him as soon as I found you. I did that when I saw the Doc out.”

“Has he answered back?”

“Not yet.”

“See? He’s slipped into a coma or…or even worse, I know it. He needs me by his side, Xavier. I need to be with him.” Grayson’s emotions began to spiral. If Xavier wasn’t holding him, he would have run to the hospital while crying his eyes out, arriving there a mess.

“Grayson…he isn’t in a coma or anything else. He’s fine. Now stop. Please. The best we can do is wait for him to tell us when he’s been discharged.”

“I want to go to him!”

“You can’t,” Xavier increased the pressure on Grayson’s shoulders. It didn’t hurt but let him know his brother was being serious. “You can’t…we can’t go see him.”

Grayson was taken aback. “Why not?”

“His family’s there.”

Shivers of disgust ran though Grayson. He knew then why they couldn’t go; his family wouldn’t let him near Blake. That hurt Grayson to his soul. With a sigh of resignation, he uttered, “You’re right, Xavier…I can’t see him.”

Grayson’s voice was not only soaked with defeat, his heart sank, too.

Xavier embraced him again.

Grayson’s world came crashing down around him again as he held his brother, this time as if Xavier was his life. He began to gasp again. His chest tightened and his heart struggled to beat from the pressure. He winced in pain as his tears flowed. “I…I w-want to see h-him. I…really do.”

“I know.”

They held each other for eternity.

When Xavier let Grayson go, his phone rang. After checking it, he stated, “It’s Blake.” 

“P-put it on s-speaker…” Grayson’s tears blurred his vision, but he didn’t wipe them away; he didn’t want to. Those tears were for Blake. He’d never wipe anything away that was for him.              

“Okay.” Xavier did as he was asked.

Blake’s beautiful voice, tired but cheery, filled the room: “That you, Xavier? You found Gray, yeah? He’s okay, right?”

“Yes, I found him. He’s okay.”

“Is he there?”

“Yep. And he wants to talk to you.”

“I’m here, Blake,” Grayson interjected. “I’m okay. What about you?”

There was a sigh of relief. “That’s so good to hear. I was worried about you so much.”

“I’m so glad you’re okay—you’re okay, right?”

“Gray, I don’t have much time, my parents have only gone and got coffee. I had to call you, ‘cause if I texted, they could have seen that. They always check to see if I’ve been texting you, even if I delete stuff off my phone, they always seem to know. They don’t want me to have anything to do with you and don’t want me ‘catching the gay’, as they put it. Little do they know it’s something I never want to be cured of, especially when it comes to you. I’ve had to pretend I’ve been interested in girls for them—even had to say it to you to try and convince myself I was normal and hadn’t fallen in love with you.”

Grayson gasped, feeling a surge of tears well up for Blake, the boy he loved in return with all his heart.

“But I can’t do it anymore. It hurt me every day when I wasn’t able to be near you in the way I’ve always wanted. But I can’t not be me anymore. I need you so much.”

“I need you, too,” Grayson whispered to himself so as not to disturb Blake’s words. Words he knew he had to hear. Words he knew Blake had to say.

“I know you want to come and see me, but trust me, I’m fine. Matty was far worse, let me tell you. Turns out the guy has some rage issues among other things. He’s one messed up pretty boy, that’s for sure. Anyway, remember when I told you to wait for me? Well, I want you to do that now. I’m eighteen soon and I’ll reveal everything to you then about why I need you to just hang on for a few more days.”

A few days without Blake seemed like forever. Grayson’s stomach tightened. How could he wait that long? But he had to. For Blake.

“I love you so much, but I have to do this right, otherwise everything my Grandma has done for me will be lost. Do you remember when I said I was doing all of this for you? This is it. I will talk to you soon when everything is all right. You can’t text me or call. I shouldn’t even be talking now, it’s a risk—but I had to tell you everything I could. I’ll delete the call record as soon as I hang up. Hopefully, they won’t find out. Remember, I love you with everything I am, and I can’t wait for all of this to be over so I can be with you as we are supposed to be. Remember when we almost kissed?”

Grayson touched his lips tenderly. He remembered. He remembered how such a small but profound thing between them had changed everything. And for the better. Grayson smiled.

“That’s the only thing that’s keeping me going right now. Talk soon, handsome. Gotta go, I can hear them talking in the hallway. I love—”

“Who are you talking to, Blake?” A male voice boomed through the speaker—a voice Grayson recognised as Blake’s dad. His heart leapt into his throat.

Blake replied, “No one, Dad.”

“Doesn’t sound like no one to me. It’s that faggot boy, isn’t it? What’s his name? Grayson? I told you a million times you’re not to talk to him—you’re not to have anything to do with him.”

“It’s not Grayson,” Blake urged, but Grayson could hear the fear in his voice.

Grayson’s stomach felt like wild, tangled vines, growing and twisting inside him.

“Don’t bloody well lie to me, you disrespectful little shit. Gimme that phone.”

“Dad! I need to—” The phone went dead.

Fear struck Grayson, stabbing like knives into his knotted insides. All he could think about was the worst; what would Blake’s dad do to him? It was even worse knowing that he couldn’t go to him. With his lips trembling, all he could do was break down and cry.

His whole body ached for Blake and from fear of the unknown. Even Xavier’s eyes were wet; his brother wiped them with the back of his hand.

The phone’s screen then went dark, the blackness of it reflecting the abyss of doubt Grayson felt for Blake. The hurt that overwhelmed him because he couldn’t be there for him.

“I—I…I n-need to see h-him.”

Xavier embraced him once more. Within his brother’s arms, thinking himself lucky he had someone who loved him and understood him, Grayson’s tears flowed faster and with more strength than ever before. His whole body heaved and he ugly cried, complete with gasping and blubbering and snot, mucus, and no regrets.

He had to let it all out.

God, how he cried.

For as long as Grayson needed, Xavier held him.

9

Grayson cried well into the early hours of the morning, only sleeping after exhaustion took hold. His dreams were filled with terrifying images of Blake in a cold, sterile hospital ward being shouted at by his dad. All alone and with no one there for him who loved him for who he was.

Thinking about that on waking, Grayson’s eyes welled again.

“You awake, Bro?” Xavier asked, knocking on the frame of Grayson’s bedroom doorway. He held a mug of coffee in the other hand.

“Yeah.” He didn’t wipe his eyes.

“Thought you might need this, and then I’ll go fill that script the Doc gave you last night. Might help you sleep better tonight, hey?”

Grayson nodded, accepting the piping hot beverage. He sipped on it. Perfect. Xavier sure knew how to make a brew, even if it was instant.

“Do you feel like getting up?”

Grayson shook his head. “Not really.”

“No worries, Bro. I understand.” Xavier sat on the bed. “Maybe we can go to the shops tomorrow if you’re up for it. Go get you a new pair of lucky underwear and some takeout lunch. What’dya say?”

“I suppose so.” Sadness washed over Grayson, “But I can’t promise anything.”

“I know you can’t.” As far as Grayson was concerned, until he knew anything more about Blake, the comfort of his doona and the fact Xavier was with him was all he needed. “And that’s okay. Whatever you want to do, I’m here for you.”

“I…I can’t even text him, Xavier. I can’t call—his dad’s probably taken his phone.”

Xavier’s eyes reflected Grayson’s sadness. “There’s nothing we can do until Blake’s done what he has to do.”

“He should be with people who love him.” Grayson’s emotions boiled again, overflowing moments later in the form of his tears. “It’s…it’s not f-fair.”

“No. It’s not.”

Saturday the tenth was agony, and Grayson tossed and turned in his bed in despair all day, crying his eyes out for Blake until they hurt. Until he hurt all over again and again.

Xavier offered him embraces when it became too much and Grayson’s world collapsed around him, which was often. He didn’t eat much. Didn’t shower. Didn’t care for anything other than needing to see Blake and knowing what had happened to him.

That night, Grayson stayed in his bed, crying until the medication from Dr. Myers kicked in. 

Sunday the eleventh was no better, but Grayson slipped on his lucky underwear underneath his striped pyjamas just in case the universe decided it hadn’t shat on him enough lately.

Nothing happened.

That was something.

Xavier went to the shops by himself, returning with a couple of pairs of Bond’s underwear that had been tie-dyed in rainbow colours. They looked freaky cool, and Grayson loved them. Other than Grayson’s emotions carrying him away every time he thought of Blake, there were moments of contemplation.

Moments of peace.

He was thankful for that.

The day of Blake’s eighteenth birthday—Monday the twelfth—another knock on his door with Xavier bearing gifts, this time of coffee and toast, welcomed Grayson. He was out of his bed, standing at the window, soaking in the cloudless blue sky that went on for eternity. Birds were chirping, dogs barking, and children played.

Life went on as though Grayson’s anguish was insignificant.

He knew it wasn’t.

Grayson was still in his striped pyjamas, still emotion soaked and exhausted and un-showered, but felt the need to leave the comfort of his doona and pillows and Xavier’s attention.             

“I have to see him, Xavier,” he said without turning his attention away from the vista his bedroom window offered. “I can’t breathe anymore if I don’t.”

Xavier stood by Grayson at the window. “I went to the hospital this morning. Blake’s been discharged and he’s home.”

“Really?” Grayson turned to look his brother in the eyes, heart pounding. “Then I have to go see him. I have to.”

“He said for you to—”

“Xavier,” Grayson put his trembling hands onto his brother’s shoulders this time. “I can’t cry any more tears.”

“You sure?” Xavier teased.

“Ha, ha. Very funny. I’m being serious here.”

“Okay, but being serious now as well, Blake might not be alone.” Xavier’s eyebrows rose ever so slightly, his lips pursing. “What about his parents, hmm? You know, the ones who will probably fill you with buckshot for coming near them because you’re contaminating the air with your gayness?”

“His Dad will be at work, and it’s the second Monday of the month, so his Mum will be at her craft club meeting.”

“How did I know you’d know that about his Mum not being there?”

Grayson tilted his head, offering a knowing smile. “And he’ll be home by himself if he hasn’t gone to school.”

“Like you’re obviously not going to school today, either, hey?”

“Xavier, please.” 

“Fine. I’ve taken the day off work, too. So, let’s go get your man, then.” He then pulled away from Grayson, waving his hand near his nose. “But first you need to get your arse in the shower, ‘cause, Bro, you reek like something rotten.”

“I bet I don’t stink as bad as Dr. Finkelstein,” Grayson said with a smile, a small spark of light igniting within him.

“I’ll take that bet.” 

After showering and brushing his teeth, Grayson felt almost human again. What made him feel more alive beyond being clean was the fact he was going to see Blake.

“I’m ready for our future together, Blake,” he said to his hazy reflection in the steamed-up bathroom mirror, managing a quivering smile. “Whatever that may bring.” 

Although, as he spoke those words, a new worry stabbed at his twisted into knots insides. What if Blake hadn’t told his parents because he was too scared? What if he’d changed his mind because of whatever horrible things his dad had said? What if he no longer wanted Grayson?

The past weekend without Blake was excruciating. Another twenty-four hours without him would be unthinkable. Grayson couldn’t even guess how he’d live without ever seeing Blake again…

Grayson shook that thought from his mind.

He didn’t need toxic. Not on the eve of the thirteenth, anyway.

If anything bad was going to happen, tomorrow would be the day for that. Not today. Then again, Xavier had bought him new underwear; they sure would be tested in the fires of one of the unluckiest days of the month sooner rather than later, no doubt about it.

“Ready, Bro?” Xavier entered the bathroom, jangling his car keys.

“Just a sec.” With one last look at himself he smoothed down his wayward fringe, making sure there wasn’t a hair out of place for Blake. “Now I am. Let’s go.”  

The short car ride to Blake’s house was agony.

Grayson counted sixty-six letterboxes—thank God Blake lived an even number of houses away from him—and drummed his fingers across his knee all the way there.

“If you don’t stop fidgeting, I’m gonna tie your hands up behind your back, Bro. Relax, will you?”

“But what if he’s not there? Or if he is, what if he can’t be with me?”

Xavier offered a crooked smile. “I’ll go knock on the door. If he answers, I’ll call you over.”

“That doesn’t answer my questions—what if he’s not there?”

“I can’t answer them, that’s why.” Xavier parked his hatchback a few doors down from Blake’s on the even-numbered side of the street under the shade of a large Plane tree, trees that were popular around the neighbourhood.

Grayson loved his brother so much for not having to be told where to park, loved how he understood everything without the need for him to justify himself.

There was never any judgement from Xavier.

“It’s okay. And I love you, Xavier. Just for being you and for being there for me. Thought I’d tell you that again.” 

Xavier put his hand onto Grayson’s shoulder. “I love you, too.” He got out of the car moments later.

Grayson watched him approach Blake’s house, nerves and his insides doing their usual thing. He winced as he saw Xavier knock on the door and wait. Someone finally answered, but Grayson couldn’t see who it was.

Xavier was invited in.

The door was closed.

Then nothing.

No one else came out, not for eight minutes and forty-four seconds.

Not Xavier.

Not Blake.

Grayson’s worry and concern became unsurmountable. He couldn’t count time anymore. Couldn’t wait. He felt his chest tighten and his breathing become laboured. His insides knotted.

He undid the seatbelt. He had to know.

He had to.

Grayson got out of the car, his heart in his throat.     

10

Walking with trepidation, anxiety, and that small spark of hope within him down Blake’s driveway towards his front door seemed so surreal. He had never been allowed at Blake’s house before because of…well, Grayson didn’t need to dwell on other people’s problems or issues. He had enough of his own to worry about. All he cared about in the whole wide world was his brother Xavier and the boy named Blake who wanted him.

Grayson hoped Blake was home.

As he passed by the letterbox—the silver numbers depicting sixteen on it glistening in the mid-morning light—the front door opened.

He gasped.

Blake stood at the threshold, holding a large suitcase. As soon as they made eye contact, all of Grayson’s fears and doubts left him, evaporating like clouds fighting against the blazing sun. His heart melted and his stomach churned.

Without further thought, he ran to Blake.

Ran with all the urgency he could muster.

Ran faster than when he was scared that Friday afternoon from the football changeroom’s toilets thinking Matty was after him and that he’d never see Blake again.

He saw Blake now.

Blake dropped the suitcase, opening his arms for Grayson.

Grayson fell into them, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Tears welled as he deepened their embrace, but this time from happiness rather than anything else that had haunted him lately. 

He closed his eyes, squeezing out his emotions. Tears fell onto his cheeks. His body shuddered and Grayson knew speaking wouldn’t be possible. Not for a while. Grayson never wanted the moment in Blake’s embrace to pass—he couldn’t even count out time.

Being with Blake was timeless.

Blake held him tightly in return and with just as much intent.

They held each other. Just held. Nothing else was needed. Nothing else wanted. Grayson could only take in Blake, become lost in him. He loved it. Revelled in his touch, felt the staccato rise and fall of his chest as he too got emotional, the strength and love of his embrace, and the enveloping closeness of him as they pressed themselves together.

Grayson felt complete.

Xavier put his hand gently onto Grayson’s shoulder. “We’ve got to go. Blake has to be out of the house by the time his Mum gets home.”

Those words rocked Grayson to his core, even though he had guessed why Blake was holding a suitcase. He opened his eyes, tearing himself away enough so he could face the boy he loved. “They…they kicked you out?”

Blake nodded. “Don’t worry, Gray. They’re just not happy about what happened.”

“What do you…what do you mean? What happened?”

“My plan happened, and I’ll tell you it when we’re as far away as possible from this dump as we can get without leaving the country.” Blake took Grayson’s hand—it felt so right to have his fingers intertwined within his own. Xavier grabbed Blake’s suitcase.

The short car ride home, Grayson sitting close to Blake on the back seat, holding his warm hand and running his fingers over his knuckles, was beautiful. If the universe, now billions of years old, started with the Big Bang, then this was when Grayson’s existence coalesced into being.

He knew it.

But it wasn’t something that exploded into formation. It was a peaceful, wonderful, and contemplative experience. Being with Blake in a way that was more than friends, watching him breathe, admiring his crooked smile as the light dappled across his face, staring into his Autumn eyes…that was the beginning of everything.

Grayson didn’t count the letterboxes on the return journey. Okay, he knew how many there were, but still, the urge to do so had diminished even if not vanquished entirely.

Xavier parked the car in their driveway. He got out, going to the boot to retrieve Blake’s suitcase. Grayson asked, “What happened?” And that question was all encompassing; he needed to know everything since he ran from the football changeroom’s toilets.

Everything.

Blake’s smile widened to soften his face, as if he understood. “I need you to kiss me first, then I’ll tell you.”

Grayson’s newly created world suddenly harboured life from those words, a spark within him igniting his insides to make them churn. He shivered delightfully. That was a foreign feeling to him. He loved it.

“Then I won’t delay,” Grayson whispered. He moved closer to the boy he loved with all his heart, even if that heart was jackhammering like crazy.

Grayson closed his eyes.

Blake’s lips ghosted across his for a brief, wonderful moment. Then, with a gentle press, they were together.

Shit! We’ve kissed!

Grayson groaned; Blake wrapped his arms around him.

Grayson’s mind spun and giddiness controlled him.

Their kiss deepened with the parting of their lips, tongues touching. The sensation was electric, a feeling unlike any other Grayson had experienced. He couldn’t quantify it and didn’t want to. It was special. Needed. Wonderful. If one kiss from the only person he’d ever loved did that, Grayson couldn’t wait for more.

So much more.

A knock on the window bought Grayson back from the joy their kiss had weaved around him. Grayson shuddered, reluctantly broke away, then giggled. Blake smiled again but didn’t let go. Grayson never wanted him to let go. Sure, Grayson’s insides were tightly woven, uncomfortably so, but it was different now. No longer were they knotted from anxiety or anything else that had stalked him before that moment.

Now it was from the delicious unknown.

An unknown Grayson couldn’t wait to keep discovering.

“Hey, you two love birds, get inside,” Xavier teased with a cheeky grin plastered to his face. “The neighbours will have something to talk about otherwise.”

“Let them talk,” Grayson shot back.

Blake, running his hand across Grayson’s cheek, said, “We should get in the house. There’s a lot to talk about, Gray. You need to know why you had to wait until I was eighteen for this.”

That piqued Grayson’s curiosity; he had almost forgotten about that. All he wanted was more kisses. So many more kisses. Then a lot more kisses.

Xavier boiled the kettle.

Soon, their sparsely furnished kitchen was filled with the aroma of cheap instant coffee. Grayson hadn’t let go of Blake, even when he accepted the beverage his brother had made.

Once they were all settled around the kitchen table, Xavier retrieving a packet of chocolate-coated digestive biscuits to help take the taste of the coffee away, Blake told his story.

It all began with his Grandma.

“I loved her so much.” Already, emotion broke Blake’s voice. His eyes went glassy as tears formed. Grayson held him tighter. He nodded. “I’m okay. I just got caught up there for a sec. This is the first time I’m gonna talk about this and it overwhelmed me for a moment. I’m fine.”

A long pause, a sip of the coffee, as Blake composed himself.

“Anyway, I used to spend every afternoon with her growing up. She understood me. When I was fifteen, I told her I was gay. She said she always knew, and that she’d known I was in love with you, Gray. She said we were ‘two handsome boys who looked lovely together’—her words.”

Blake recalling that memory put a smile on Grayson’s face. Blake was smiling, too.

“But she also knew what my parents were like and how homophobic and vindictive they would be if they ever found out about me. She never got on with my parents, even though my dad was her son. But…but she had a…plan for…m-me.”

Blake almost lost it, the roller coaster of emotions he’d already displayed not over. Grayson understood. He ran his hand over Blake’s back, patting him reassuringly.

Again, and after a nod to say he was ready, he continued, “In her Will, she gave me her house and all her money and assets. Everything she had is mine now, right down to her favourite chair. She did that for me so I could be happy. Happy with you.”

“Wow!” Xavier whistled in astonishment.

“What?” Grayson couldn’t be more shocked if he tried. 

“Yeah. I had to wait until I was eighteen, even though she held her assets in a living trust for me and I was the successor trustee. But it’s done now. It’s over. I can be me. I can be with you, Gray. Finally.”

Grayson couldn’t speak. He was not only shocked, but he became overwhelmed with his feelings for Blake. His stomach knotted, but this time for his love, complete and all-encompassing. 

“Ooh, sneaky,” Xavier interjected. “That would have avoided probate, wouldn’t it?”

Blake nodded. “Yep, it sure did. And because it was between me and her and an appointed executor, my parents didn’t get a chance to contest it after I came out. While I’d been their good straight son, a football star interested in girls and chugging beers and all that shit, they were content. Until it was too late, anyway. The look on their faces was priceless. Kicking me out did me a favour, let me tell you.”

“No wonder you didn’t say anything before,” Grayson mused.

“My Grandma didn’t care if I showed the world my love for you, Gray. But she asked me to not to do anything that would jeopardise her plan if I could help it. I gave her my promise because I knew that while I was underage, there may have been a chance the Will could have been contested if my parents suspected anything. As I said, while I was their good son, they were happy that everything went to me—my Grandma convinced them that giving me everything was in everyone’s best interest. How she did that, I don’t know. But she did.”

“She’s a sly one, then,” Xavier said.

Grayson nodded. “I understand now.”

“Every day I wanted to hold your hand and kiss you, Gray. You know that? Every day.”

“You did hold me a lot, though.”

“It wasn’t enough. It was driving me insane that I couldn’t be your boyfriend. But what gave me hope was the future we could have together all because of my Grandma. And even though it hurt not to be with you, I would never do anything to go against her wishes, because I wanted it, too. She cared for me so much; she was my light in the darkness and I’ve missed her with everything that I am since the day she passed.”

“She’s…she’s so wonderful I can’t even form words.” Grayson hugged Blake, fighting his own tears.

“That was why I had to pretend I was interested in girls—to keep throwing my parents off the scent. It’s not like I’ve got posters of naked chicks all over my bedroom wall, is it? Or I had girls over all the time. I thought they would have guessed…but I suppose I’m a better actor than even I thought.”             

Confusion then crossed Grayson’s thoughts. “But what was all that with Paul and Matty, then? Why’d you try and get me interested in someone else if you knew I was the only one for you?”

Blake wrapped his arms tighter around Grayson. “It was all part of my charade. Yes, I died inside when I saw you with Paul. But you know, I knew it wouldn’t last. You just weren’t in it. I also knew deep down you felt the same way about me as I did about you. But most of all, if my parents knew you were with someone else, then they wouldn’t dig deeper into my life. They wouldn’t question me. I hated living a lie. It cut me deeply all the time. But I had to keep thinking of what my Grandma had done for us.”

“And what about Matty?”

Blake sighed. “That was a mistake, I’m so, so sorry, Gray. I really am. But my parents started asking too many questions, one’s I couldn’t answer truthfully. I told them you had a new boyfriend to try and defend myself against their hate. It was selfish and wrong, but I was cornered and couldn’t see any other way to take the heat off me. Matty was the only one I could think of who was gay and single at the spur of the moment. Who knew he’d turn out to have rage issues when he got rejected?”  

Grayson bought Blake closer, resting his head onto his shoulders and never wanting him to let go. “I forgive you.”

“He was a real nutter, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah. That’s why he’s been seeing Dr. Finkelstein as well, I’m sure. I actually feel sorry for him. Why do we all have to be so broken, Blake?”

And then the doctor’s words all made sense. He wasn’t talking about Grayson being with Blake—he was warning him about Matty by suggesting that Blake was closer than anyone to him. Wow. He did that without compromising client/patient confidentiality. He was good.

“Dunno. And that’s the truth.”

“But what if Matty wasn’t like that? What if he turned out to be awesome and I fell in love with him? If you’ve always wanted me, then you could have just said. I would have respected your Grandma and you, and waited until you were eighteen if you’d told me.”

“I know you would have, but I just couldn’t risk it. You have to understand that. Even my love for you had to wait. And if that meant letting you go, then that was a chance I was willing to take. For you. As long as you were happy, that’s all that mattered to me. You mean the world to me, Gray. The world.”

“You mean the world to me, too, Blake.”

Xavier chimed in, “The both of you are my world.”

Grayson and Blake went to Xavier.

They all embraced.

No more needed to be said. For the first time since his parents had been killed, Grayson felt at ease within himself.

He had a new family now.

When settled once more, sitting back down at the table and drinking dreadful coffee, Blake offered, “And what are you talking about, Gray? I only arranged for you to meet Matty. I didn’t tell you to suck his dick and be his boyfriend or anything.”

“True, you didn’t. Even if there were embarrassing photos shared.” Grayson giggled, something that unwound his insides even more. It was a strange sensation. “But another truth is that I’d like to suck your dick.”

“And there it is.” Xavier got up, his chair scraping against the floor tiling. He picked up his half drunken coffee. “Time for me to leave—there’s laundry to do.”

“Good idea.” Grayson smiled at his brother. “This could get X-rated pretty quickly.”

When Xavier left the kitchen, Blake said, “What? You don’t wanna be my boyfriend then?”  

“Hmm, depends.”

“On what?”

“If you can meet my needs.”

Blake winked. “I can meet your needs.”

“Ooh, confident, are we?”

“Sure am.”

“Then yes, I so want to be your boyfriend. Even if you tried to palm me off to other boys.”

Blake moved his hands down to Grayson’s stomach, tickling him without warning. Grayson yelped with unhindered laugher, the first time in a long time such sounds had passed over his lips. It was Blake who’d done it for him.

Grayson loved that.

Soon, they were kissing. Grayson let himself be carried away once Blake’s tongue found his. The knots inside him unravelled further. After an eternity, they parted. “We can all go see my grandma’s house. I want you and Xavier to live with me. I can arrange to get the key off the executor.”

“You want that?”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way. Besides, you can get out of this dump if you move in with me.”

“That’d be awesome! But there’s something you’ve forgotten.”

Blake blinked at him. “What?”

“What about your eighteenth?”

Blake kissed Grayson again and again but stopped before the amount became uneven. Grayson was a mush of lust, contentment, and love for Blake, the only boy he’d ever truly loved. The only boy who’d ever mattered in that way. 

“I have everything I need now,” Blake murmured. “I don’t want a party, I just want to get on with everything I’ve missed out on since I fell in love with you, back when my balls dropped, and my dick got hard thinking about you.”

“Oh, God. That sounds perfect.”

“That my balls dropped, and I get hard now?”

“You know what I mean—the catching up on the bits you missed out on part.”

Blake offered a cheeky smile at that. 

Xavier returned, coughing into his hand as he did so. “When we going to see this house of ours, then?”

“You were listening at the door?” Grayson questioned incredulously.

“Of course, I was.” Xavier put his empty coffee cup into the sink. “Just because I don’t want to see you swap spit doesn’t mean I can’t find out what’s going on, does it?”

“Then let’s go.” Blake stood, grabbing Grayson’s hand. “I’ll arrange for the lawyer to meet us at the house this afternoon. He’s been a good friend to me, and he’s helped with the act I’ve had to put on for my parent’s benefit, that’s for sure.”

“I’m still throwing you an eighteenth though,” Grayson warned, stealing another kiss that made Blake melt and Xavier groan, complete with eye rolling.

11

The lawyer, a tall, thin man with a pleasant disposition, wearing a casual lightly coloured summer suit, waited by his flashy electric blue Mercedes Benz in the driveway of the biggest house Grayson had ever seen.

It even had a white picket fence out front.

The house was nestled deep in the leafy suburb of Preston, surrounded by parks and footpaths that wound around landscaped gardens.

After plenty of handshakes in greeting, Blake said, “This is my beautiful boyfriend, Grayson Alexander, and his brother Xavier. They will both be living here with me.”

“That’s good. And I’m very pleased to meet you, Grayson—Xavier. I’m Charles Berry. Now, let me get you inside the property so you can look around. Blake, I have a few things for you to sign, now that you’re able. When you’re ready, of course.”

Blake nodded. “Sure. But first, Gray, you’ve got to see our bedroom. It’ll blow your mind!”

“Now that’s a statement.”

But Blake wasn’t kidding. The room was massive. It also had huge bay windows that overlooked a cottage garden with lavender and roses in bloom. Opening the window let in a fantastic aroma.

“That smell reminds me of her so much,” Blake mused, his emotions getting caught on his words like before when he spoke of her.

Grayson hugged him.

They held each other until Blake, with another gentle kiss, said, “I’ve got a good plan for this room.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” He suddenly seemed to snap out of his melancholy. “Over there, by the window, I think a bondage swing would look awesome. And, oh, oh, we can paint that wall over there fire engine red and put a St. Andrew’s Cross in front of it. We can then put a few hooks in the wall next to that where we can hang the whips and spanking paddles we’ll need. What do you think?”

“Please tell me you’re joking.” All Grayson envisaged was the fear he had about Matty—and even though it turned out the boy wasn’t into BDSM, the reality was far worse. Grayson could handle a saucy spanking, but being beaten up… 

“I am,” Blake laughed. “But you should have seen your face.”

Grayson sighed relief and Blake kissed him. “I have another idea, though. One better than whatever the hell that was you suggested.”

“And what’s that?”

“We should have your eighteenth here. I know your Grandma would have thought that appropriate.”

“Are you still going on about that?”

“Yes, I am. It’s important. Not only is it a turning point in your life, it will represent your freedom from your parents as well. Plus, I love you and I want you to have a party where I can tell everyone you’re my boyfriend and let them see me kiss you and hold your hand.”

“In that case, I think we should buy a few crosses for our guests to have fun on as well.”

“You’re such a shit, you know that?” Grayson kissed Blake’s cheek, the stubble that had sprouted tickling his lips. “But you’re getting a party, end of story.”

“Fine. But nothing fancy.”

Grayson chuckled. “Of all the things I am, and of everything that has made me a walking, talking disaster all through my life, being fancy isn’t one of them.”

“You’re not a disaster.”

“What am I then?”

“Perfect.”

“Careful, Blake. You’re putting me so high on a pedestal, you may not be able to reach me.”

“In that case, I think we should add a spanking bench to the list of stuff we’ll need for our sex dungeon so I can stand on it to kiss you.”

“If you mention anything like that ever again, I’m so not talking to you.”

“You’ll find it hard to talk anyway.”

“Oh, why’s that?”

Blake smiled mischievously. “I would imagine talking with a dick deep down your throat would be nearly impossible.”

“Okay, now you’re being annoying and turning me on.”

“That’s the plan.”

Blake pushed Grayson onto the huge king-sized bed, coming over him and planting sweet kisses all over his lips, neck, and throat. Grayson shivered delightfully, the sensation going straight to his hardness. He gyrated his hips, rubbing himself against Blake. His boyfriend gasped and moaned.

Everything was getting rather warm all of a sudden.

Grayson soon felt himself become carried away. He had to muster all his strength to stop himself from ripping Blake’s clothing off. “What if that lawyer comes in and catches us like this?”

“What?” Blake sat up on his elbows. “You not worried about your brother seeing us on top of each other?”

“Xavier’s got to get used to us making out, might as well let him start getting used to that straight away.”

At that moment, Xavier and Mister Berry entered the main bedroom.

“At least they’ve still got their clothes on,” Xavier announced, arms folded but with a cheeky smile drawn on his lips. “Miracles do happen.”

Mister Berry snorted a clipped, lawyerly laugh. “Ah, I remember fondly the days where I would jump on my boyfriend at the drop of a hat. Alas, there’s less jumping these days than there used to be.”

Grayson looked at Blake. They both burst into laughter, his brother and the lawyer joining them.             

That weekend, and after all the paperwork had been completed, they all moved into their new house without incident. The only thing Grayson remembered about the few days before the big moment was that his love for Blake bloomed more and more. In fact, the days seemed to meld into one, no longer divided into odd or even, but beautifully whole and complete.

Which was how he felt about Blake.

Grayson hadn’t even bothered wearing his lucky underwear; Blake had that much of an effect on him. Although, their affection, the hugs and kisses on the couch, in the kitchen, and everywhere else, made Xavier groan regularly from the sweetness, and he’d told them that many times with eye-rolling laughter.

Grayson couldn’t be happier, but mainly because Blake was emerging from his shell, the one he’d built around himself over the course of all those years while protecting his Grandma’s wishes and saving himself from his parents’ hate. Sure, at first there was hesitation and trepidation, especially when it came to Blake revealing his feelings without inhibition. But if there was one thing Grayson could do, it was count time.

He would always wait.

And aside from kissing, hugging, and heavy petting, they did everything together. Shower, sleep, eat, and went to school hand in hand. Everything. Grayson even bought Blake a T-shirt he could wear to bed that stated: Real Boys Kiss Boys.

Blake loved it and wore it every night. But Grayson knew Blake was waiting for something: there was one thing they hadn’t done.                            

The morning after they’d moved in, and after their passion in the impressive well-appointed and white-tiled en suite bathroom left Grayson panting, lips tingling, and as hard as a rock complete with aching balls, Blake whispered, “Everything’s perfect now. I want you every way possible, Gray.” His voice was tainted with sincerity and a need Grayson understood.

“I want you, too.”

“Tonight, then?” Grayson nodded, planting more kisses onto Blake’s lips. “We’d better go shopping for condoms, hadn’t we?” 

That evening, after the dishes had been cleared up and Xavier had retired to his bedroom to rest from a long shift at work, Blake wrapped his arms around Grayson, kissing his neck from behind tenderly and with a passion that seemed more carnal than any time before.

There was no more hesitation from Blake. No more indecisiveness or caution.

Grayson loved that.

“I take it someone’s really ready, aren’t they?”

“Come into the bedroom with me and I’ll show you how ready I am for you. I can’t wait anymore. I think my balls will drop off if I do.” 

“You sure you’re ready?”

“Sure, I’m sure.”

Blake shed his clothing down to his underwear as soon as he closed the door. His bulge made Grayson gasp; there was no doubt what his feelings were.

Grayson got hard admiring Blake’s arousal.

Yep.

Blake was ready. 

“We’ve waited long enough, Gray. But I had to make sure everything was real, that I really got the house and everything. I know it sounds stupid but living my whole life as a lie became a habit that was hard to break, I had no idea. I kept looking over my shoulder, waiting for someone to jump out from behind a tree or something and tell me I’ve been pranked.”

“I understand. My life since my Mum and Dad died has been very hard for me, too. I mean…you know…you saw how I was. How I still am, really, because it’ll never completely go away. I still have to take my meds, even though I feel better.”

“Yeah. We’re all broken, aren’t we?”

“Then let’s repair each other, starting now.”

Blake came closer, grabbing Grayson’s hands. “Then I think it’s time I showed you how I really feel—if you’ll let me.”

“I will so let you.”

Grayson let Blake take his clothes off. All of them. Soon, they were on their bed, sitting face to face. Grayson legs were draped over Blake’s and they held each other. A moment after that, and after more kisses, tender and loving, Grayson realised Blake had taken off the last of his inhibitions.

God, the boy he loved looked even better naked than when he was clothed, no doubt. He took Grayson’s breath away. His hardness covered by his foreskin was especially enticing. Grayson wanted to touch it…and so he did.

“You’re big,” Grayson said with a gasp. It was awesome to touch another boy’s dick, all hard and warm and sensual. It felt so right.

“It’s what you do to me, Gray.”

But Grayson didn’t answer. He was hypnotised and began counting in his mind the times Blake’s dick twitched within his grasp.

Five…

Six…

Seven…

Eight…

“Yep. You’ve been the only one who’s—wait, what are you doing, Gray?”

“Err…I’m…”

“You’re counting something in your head, aren’t you?”

Grayson felt his cheeks heat. “What if I am?”

Blake kissed Grayson’s lips, one, two, three, four times. Grayson was relieved he ended that on an even number. “I’m gonna do something to you that’ll take your mind away from the quantity of what we’re doing and focus it on the quality instead.”

Grayson gulped and a nervous energy prickled at his skin. “What are you going to do?”

Blake kissed Grayson again, twice. The second time was deeper, more intense, his tongue sending shivers all through Grayson from his sensual touch. When parted, he whispered, “Can you pull back your foreskin?”

“Sure.”

As Grayson did so, Blake shuffled closer. Moment’s later, his dick was touching Grayson’s. With deft movement, Blake stretched his foreskin so that it covered Grayson’s now exposed knob, keeping his hand there and massaging the join he’d created between them. A strange sensation radiated from the point of contact, surging through Grayson.

Grayson gasped again, that time with wanting moans. “It’s…it’s like your dick’s…hugging mine.”

“Not thinking about counting now, are you?” 

Grayson shuddered as Blake moved his hand. What’s more, while he did so, there were plenty more kisses. What Blake had said was the truth: Grayson couldn’t count anything. The intensity between them was too great. Too powerful. His breathing, heartbeat, and every fibre of his being was for Blake; the contact between them, their dicks being joined, was the catalyst to all of that wonder Grayson felt.

“I want more!” Grayson called out, guttural and wanting, unable to hold back. “I want you in every way we can be. Oh, God, I want you.” 

“Good thing we bought condoms earlier then, isn’t it?”

“So much yes to that I can’t even…”

For the next forty-five minutes and twenty-eight seconds—Grayson had checked his bedside clock’s display for confirmation—they made love to each other in turn. It was exhilarating, sometimes awkward, sometimes painful but always caring, considered, and beautiful. Their kisses were phenomenal, deep, frantic, and lust filled. If Grayson thought being joined by their dicks was awesome, having Blake inside him and then being inside Blake was something out of this world. It reshaped everything. And Grayson loved that. 

“Y-ou…you c-came that time after you…you t-thrusted two-hundred and twenty-six t-times,” Grayson panted, his body heated and sweating from their passion, but his insides relaxed enough so he was swept away.

As it should be when he was with Blake.

“That’s what I counted as well.” Blake spoke more succinctly, but he was also hot—in many ways. Sweaty, too. Grayson loved the smell of his sweat, so manly, virile, and intoxicating. 

“You’re s-so perfect for me. Thank you.”

“No, Gray. You’re perfect for me.”

“Oh, God. Let’s d-do it again.”

“That will be three times then. That’s—”

“Don’t s-say it.” Grayson pulled Blake closer, crashing his lips onto Blake’s. He was on his back, looking up at perfection. “Kiss me again, ‘cause we’ll be doing it after that, too, to make it even.”

“I didn’t doubt it.”

Grayson was elated the shell had been completely eroded away around Blake. It had taken time, but the wait was worth it. 

The party Grayson had organised was an intimate affair. Nothing fancy, as he’d promised. Grayson didn’t remember much about it really because he spent all his time with Blake. It might also have been due to the fact they were joined at the lips more often than not.

The only thing that stuck in his head about the whole evening was when the doorbell rang and Joachim stood there, bearing gifts but looking sad. He had a black eye.

“What happened to you, Jo?” Blake asked.

“Matty’s what happened.”

“What?” Grayson shivered uncomfortably when that name from his past was spoken, bringing terrible memories crashing back into his consciousness.

“Yeah, the jerk raged when I wouldn’t take him back after he couldn’t get his dick into you, Grayson. No offence by that, sorry.”

“None taken,” Grayson assured him, squeezing Blake’s hand.

Blake returned it.

“I’m so glad he got kicked off the footy team, that’s for sure,” Joachim said. “He needs more than psychiatric help, that one.”

Grayson cleared his throat. “I hope Matty gets the help he needs.”

“You’re too kind,” Joachim stated plainly. “I hope the bastard gets locked up and they throw away the key. He can’t go around hitting people because they don’t do what he wants them to.”

“That’s true, and I wasn’t condoning what he’s done, far from it,” Grayson explained. “But ignoring a problem, or locking it away as you say, doesn’t make it go away.”

“What if he can’t be changed?” Joachim asked, brow furrowed.

Blake interjected, “Then that’s for Matty to prove or disprove, no one else. Remember, he handed me my arse on a platter, too.”

“Yeah, I know. He’s just a jerk, if you ask me.”

Grayson agreed, “He is. And are you okay, Joachim?”

Joachim seemed surprised by the question. His eyebrows went from being buried deep in furrows to raised. “I’m okay.”

Blake patted Joachim on his shoulder. “That’s good.”

Joachim smiled. “You two are awesome together, just thought I’d tell you that.”

“Thanks,” Grayson offered. Blake put his head onto Grayson’s shoulder, bringing his other arm around him. That was enough to lead to more intense and passionate kissing.                           

What happened after that Grayson couldn’t be sure.

Blake’s lips saw to that. 

That evening, once the guests had left and Xavier helped clean up the beer bottles, pizza boxes, and packets of junk food, Blake and Grayson made love.

A few times during the night, Xavier rapped urgently on their bedroom door. “Hey! Some of us are trying to sleep in this house. Can you at least bang each other more rhythmically so I can set my circadian cycle to it better?”

But he was laughing.

Grayson couldn’t help it, he giggled at his brother’s antics, his whole-body shuddering.

“Careful, my dick almost came out of you then, you’re laughing so much.”

“Can’t have that now, can we?”

“No.” Blake laughed, pushing himself in deeper. Grayson gasped, grabbing at Blake’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “Not at all. Not when I’m in uneven territory.”

“God, you so get me, Blake Ness.” Grayson, looking deep into Blake’s beautiful browns arched his back, helping him do his thing. “And I love you so much for that.”

“I love you, too, Grayson Alexander. With everything I am, because now I am who I want to be.”

“Oh, God. Kiss me, then pound me harder! My brother’s not getting any sleep tonight!”                    

Epilogue

“There.” Grayson came down from the stepladder, dusting off his jeans. “It’s done.” 

Blake bought his arms around him. Grayson shivered delightfully at his touch, the hand he’d placed just so onto his waist. “You did a good job, Gray. That looks great there.”

Grayson smiled. “It does look good.”

“I know Grandma’s not here, but the shrine to her you made was a great idea—and it’s perfect above her favourite chair.”

“Do you like how I used eight candles to light up her photo?”

“Love it. The number eight’s very lucky, right?”

Grayson pulled Blake closer. “It sure is.”

“I also love the photo you chose of her and how you decorated the frame and the shelf with the things she was interested in. She loved the sea and collecting seashells. That was a nice touch.”

“Your Grandma deserves to be at the centre of the house, watching over us and looking after us.”

If Grayson wasn’t mistaken, he believed Blake sniffled. “Thank you, Gray. It really is beautiful.”

“It was no problem.” He looked right into Blake’s deep soulful eyes. “Now, can I have another kiss before we need to get dinner started? Xavier will be home soon from work, and I want to make sure it’s ready by the time he gets here.”

“What if our kissing leads to other things?”

Grayson smiled, moving his head close enough so that his nose touched Blake’s. “Then I’m sure my brother will understand.”

“Yeah, I don’t think he’ll come in and disturb us if we’re in our room. Especially if we’re already joined by our dicks or doing the nasty.”

“Oh, my God,” Grayson said with a pretend gasp, brushing his lips across the boy’s he loved. “I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, you’re such a romantic, aren’t you? It’s called making love, Blake. Making love.”

Blake now smiled, full and cheeky and just like him. “If you say so, Gray. But when you start screaming out dirty things when I’m inside you, what do you call that?”

“Paying it forward.”

“Now who’s being the romantic?”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“Then what?”

“Then you can make me scream.”

Blake’s sniffle became a hitch, a hold back of emotion. “I have so much to be thankful for because of my Grandma, don’t I? Just look how fortunate I am. I have you, I’ve got Xavier who’s now my family, and we’ve got a place to call ours where we can spend our lives together. I don’t need anything else except the love and the air you give me because of it.”

“That’s so beautiful. But it doesn’t get you out of kissing me.”

Blake pulled Grayson even closer.

Grayson could feel his boyfriend’s hardness pressing against his own, because he was certainly as hard as ever right now.

“Then I won’t waste any more time.” And with that, Blake crashed his lips onto Grayson’s.

Grayson accepted him, kissing him back with just as much passion, their tongues touching delightfully. Electricity from Blake’s intimate touch coursed through him. His stomach knotted immediately but for a far different reason. He no longer lived with the anxiety of doubt but the giddiness of their love that had blossomed far more beautifully than the flowers outside their bedroom window.

Love for the only boy who mattered.

And love for the fact that Xavier was now Blake’s true family as well.

Blake was right; they only needed each other’s love and the air between them from now on.

The End

Author’s Note

There are so many people to thank once again. Most of all, I’d like to thank one of my dearest friends, my mentor, and editor extraordinaire, Charlie, for their continued and unfaltering support as I wrestle with my demons.

All my stories feature the use of condoms—especially in this Cute Gay Romance series. Not only does safe sex help prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, using them with the one you want to be intimate with is a sign of both respecting them and respecting yourself. And that’s important, too!

Thank you for reading!

More to come in the “Cute Gay Romance” series with: “My Skateboarding Here, and Crush!” coming November 15th, 2019.

Also by Eridani Books

The Arty Tekken Chronicles:

Book One: The Battle of Crystal and Water

Book Two: The Struggle of Flesh and Stone *includes the bonus short story: The Scarab Beetle Key (2020 release)

Book Three: The War of Mind and Matter *includes the bonus short story: Arty and Tobias. (2021 release)

Short Stories/Novellas:

Enough Blue Sky to Mend a Pair of Sailor’s Trousers

Dylan’s Love

Dylan’s Love 2

The Fabulous Adventures of Leif & Lyle (coming October 15th 2019)

About the Author

I write LGBTQ+ stories. As a therapist who helps people with all sorts of conditions, injuries, and disabilities I'm an advocate for those people, especially if they're teens.