Only For You

Part 1

By Chad Lane

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Table of Contents

Only For You

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 1

The door handle jiggled with the sound of fumbling keys. I looked up from the pages of my textbook and watched as the door swung open. In walked Matt, my roommate, drenched in a thin layer of sweat and obviously exhausted from a long workout.

“What’s up dude? Are you still reading?” Matt asked in the same slightly mocking tone he used whenever he discussed schoolwork.

“Yeah, just finishing up my Chem reading. Did you have a good workout?” I tried to look back down at my book as Mark took off his shirt, but my eyes kept drifting away from the page and focusing on his torso. I knew I should look away as Matt undressed and searched for his towel - it is rude to stare after all - I just couldn’t help but admire his body. He spent most of his free afternoons at the gym, and it showed in his lean, cut muscles.

“Yeah, it was epic. You should join me next time. You need a break from those books. Plus, nothing feels better than relaxing after a tough workout. It’s almost better than sex… almost.” Matt winked and chuckled to himself.

I let out a short, nervous laugh hoping that it sounded natural and knowledgeable; I enjoyed when Matt joked around with me. Matt was the type of guy who I would have hated in school. Not that I went to high school; I dropped out after serious bullying in middle school and was home schooled from that point on. The jock-types would torment me in the gym locker room but it in the hallways it was worse, they had just totally ignored me. Whether in class or at my lockers, it was like I was invisible to the other boys during the school day, and that was the worst type of rejection. Matt was different though - he had the same frat-boy personality and the same passion for booze, boobs, and his body, but he had a level of kindness that I hadn’t encountered before. Even though most guys like him would probably consider me too nerdy to be friends with, he had always taken a genuine interest in me.

“Alright bro, I’m going to take a shower. Finish your reading while I’m gone, and we can hit up the cafeteria when I get back - I’m starving,” Mark cracked his towel at me as he left the room.

I tried to focus on my reading after he left, but it was a lost cause. I would read an entire page and realize I didn’t understand a single word of it. Mark had left his sweaty t-shirt in his laundry hamper, and I would occasionally get a wafting scent of his musky smell. The smell was strangely pleasant, and I found myself searching for it in every inhale.

The door opened with a bang, and I was drawn out of my stupor. Matt started talking excitedly about some girl he ran into on the way to the showers. Lucy? Lacy? Something along those lines. Was she a neighbor of ours? I didn’t remember anyone on our floor having a name like that, but then again I didn’t spend much time in the common room. I assured him that if he asked her out she would say yes. With his jet black hair, stunning blue eyes and square jaw, he could get any girl he wanted. He had the perfect male model--slash--homecoming-king look.

While he kept talking, I found my eyes wandering back to his torso. He was standing with his back to me, in just his towel, searching frantically for clean clothes. I couldn’t help but stare at how his back moved as he scoured the dresser drawers. The way each of his muscles contracted and expanded with the reach of his arms fascinated me; as someone on the small side, I wondered what it would feel like having muscles like that.

I got so caught up in watching his back that I must have missed him asking me a question. He turned around to ask again and caught me staring.

“Dude. Are you checking me out?”

“No… no, I was just-” 

“You were totally staring at my ass. Don’t even lie. That’s probably why you put that book on your lap: enjoying it a bit too much!”

“No!” I felt myself blushing furiously. “I wasn’t! It’s just - your back. It’s.. nice.. and I just.. I wish I had muscles like that, ya know?”

“Relax bro, I was just kidding with you,” Matt chuckled. “I know you’re cool. It’s just funny to watch you get worked up like that. Look, I get it, honestly, you’re crazy smart - and girls dig that, don’t get me wrong - but a little muscle always helps too. It’s alright to be envious of another guy, that’s what motivates you to better yourself.”

“Yeah, exactly,” I felt a wave of relief that he wasn’t actually angry and was willing to agree with whatever explanation he wanted.

“Come to the gym with me tomorrow - seriously this time. We’ll get some muscle on you in no time.”

“I don’t know, Matt. I don’t exercise, and I’m horrible at sports. It’ll probably just be embarrassing for both of us.”

“Look, David, the reason you suck at sports is because you refuse to do them. Practice makes perfect right? And since when is not doing something a reason to not start? Think about all of your classes - would you just drop the course on the first day if you didn’t already know all the material? No! The whole point of the class is to learn and get better. So think of this as just another class, and I’ll be your teacher!” Matt sounded excited at the idea of training someone, and I appreciated the opportunity to hang out with him, so I reluctantly agreed.

Chapter 2

The next afternoon came, and it was time for our first “lesson” as Matt had taken to calling it. We walked into the gym together and within minutes people were coming up to Matt to say hello. It was crazy how popular he was around here as if everyone knew him. Watching him interact with other guys was the most interesting because it was so different from the way he was around me. It was like he became a whole other person, a caricature of the jock stereotype. Around the other guys, I became invisible again - at least to them. Not a single one acknowledged me or introduced themselves. Yet, each and every time, Matt would work me into the conversation somehow. It was a special skill he had, and it made me realize why he was so popular: he treated everyone like a close friend.

We finally made our way to the weight station and Matt began demonstrating the different techniques for each of the machines. The way he moved made working out look effortless. I had never really had much respect for athletics or the guys who thrived at them, but the way Matt moved so gracefully commanded a unique sort of respect in me.

As soon as he finished demonstrating how to properly use the equipment, Matt placed me on one of the machines and instructed me to begin. Having seen how easy it was for him to operate, I figured it wouldn’t take much strength and pushed without much effort. To my surprise, the bar didn’t even budge. I pushed harder and finally the bar gave way.

I knew then that this “lesson” wasn’t going to be an easy A.

Chapter 3

As soon as we had found a table, Matt dove hungrily into his burger. I was amazed that he had so much energy when I could barely raise my arms to reach my food.

“So, how are ya feeling?”

“I feel like I was hit by a train.”

Matt chuckled and shrugged, “No pain, no gain. It’ll get better though, don’t worry. Plus all the hard work definitely pays off in the end. With your smarts and some muscle you could have any girl you wanted.”

Now it was my turn to chuckle. “Yeah, right,” I scoffed.

“What do you mean? You’re a good looking guy; I’m sure you do well with girls.”

I appreciated his compliment, but I knew he must be lying to be friendly. Though my mom assured me that girls would love my dirty-blonde hair and green eyes in college, I hadn’t so much as spoken to a girl in a social setting since class started two weeks ago.  I had just lost my baby fat and acne last year and I still felt like a child.

“Not really,” I was getting uncomfortable talking to Matt about this- he would never understand.

“What do you mean? When was your last relationship?” He wasn’t giving up on the subject so easily.

“I’ve never really had a relationship.”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that. A lot of people in college haven’t had a relationship. We’re young, we shouldn’t have to settle down yet.”

“Yeah, sure,” I laughed nervously.

“When’s the last time you got laid?”

I felt myself turning bright red. This whole conversation had gone way beyond my comfort level. I attempted to say something, but I ended up murmuring unintelligible gibberish.

“Bro, I’m your roommate, we can talk about these things without it being embarrassing. Plus I’ve noticed you’ve never.. needed the room alone.. and I’m just curious,” Matt gave me such a reassuring smile that I felt at once like I could trust him.

“I uh... I’ve never really had sex before. I was home schooled in high school and I just never really met girls,” I looked down at my food the entire time I spoke, embarrassed to have finally said the words aloud.

Matt’s smile fell into what I assumed was a look of utter sympathy, and I regretted telling him immediately. He was looking at me the way you might look at a dog in the pound. I felt myself blushing again. I hoped I hadn’t ruined the possibility of our friendship.

Matt obvious saw my reaction to his and recovered quickly.

“Look, David, I know it sucks, but it's not that big of a deal, I promise.”

“What are you talking about? Of course it's a big deal. It’s all anyone wants to talk about here.”

“No, it's really not. Hell, a lot of guys don't lose it until later on anyways. This whole myth that everyone's always having sex - it's just a myth!” He was trying hard to make me feel better.

“Matt, it's nice of you to say that, but it's easy when you can get any girl you want. You've probably been with more girls than I know.”

“You don't know what you're talking about. You want me to tell you a secret? Something I've not told any other guy?”

I nodded slowly.

"In high school, I played football. The only subject the guys would talk about in the locker room was girls. It was such a big deal to them: who was getting laid, and what girls would put out, and which ones were good in bed. It was just constant talk about it. The thing was, talking about it so much just made me more nervous about it. I wondered if the girls talked like we did - I didn't know what I was doing, and that terrified me. But I bullshitted with the boys- pretended I would get action when we went to other schools. The truth is, I didn't lose my virginity until I was a senior. And you know what I learned? Sex isn't a big deal at all. The guys would only talk so much because they were horny and inexperienced. But in reality? It's just sex. You want it, you have it, and it's incredible. But no one else cares about yours."

I nodded again. It made sense, but that didn’t mean it took the stress away.

“How ‘bout this? You help me study for my Bio exam on Thursday, and I promise I’ll get you laid before the end of this year? Think of it as Lesson Two in my extracurricular course.” The way he shifted from sharing a deeply personal secret to his normal, charming smile made me realize just how confident he was. It was obvious why girls fell all over themselves for him - hell, it was obvious why guys seemed drawn to him as well. I couldn't help but agree to the deal. I told myself it was to satisfy him, but part of me still hoped he could deliver on his promises.

"So, number one wingman question: what type of women do you like?"

I shrugged, "the kind with boobs I guess."

"Very funny nerd, but this is serious. Are you a boob man then?"

"Honestly, I've never thought much about it," I responded. "I've never really had options to choose from."

"Ok, I'm going to point out girls and you're going to tell me if she's a "yes" or a "no." How about the brunette a few tables over?"

I glanced over my shoulder and saw a beautiful girl eating her salad.

"Matt, she's out of my league."

"-that wasn't the question. Don't sell yourself short: I told you you’re a good looking guy, and I don’t lie. Plus leagues don't exist when you have confidence."

Sometimes he sounded like an inspirational self-help book you would pick up from the clearance section of the bookstore. For whatever reason, I listened to him anyway.

"Yeah, she's very pretty. But something about her looks bitchy. I think I might pass."

"Ok, what about her?" This game continued for a few minutes as Matt pieced together my "type" bit by bit.

Finally, Matt saw a girl that made him do a double take, "Woah, did you see the ass on her?”

I turned and, sure enough, the girl had quite a butt. "Wow, I guess if anything I'm an 'ass man'."

Matt smiled, "A man after my own heart! There's just something about them Dave; I could play with them all day long."

He continued to stare at the girl longingly, but I was more focused on what he had just said. No one had called me 'Dave' before, but I liked the way it sounded when he said it.

Chapter 4

A few weeks went by and Matt's "Lessons" continued. I wasn't seeing many results, but he was so confident about the process that I didn't want to disappoint him. Plus, I enjoyed all the time we had started spending together. I had never really had friends, but he drew me into his life with such ease that I felt genuinely a part of it. When his friends would come over, either to the dorm room or at the gym, he always found a way to integrate me into the conversation. After a while, they didn't even need his prompting before asking me questions about class or my workout.

I often wondered what his friends thought of me - it was obvious that Matt and I were a weird pair of roommates and an even weirder pair of friends. I assumed they saw me as his charity case, or that I was doing his homework for him in exchange for friendship. But I knew that wasn't true. Yes, we had a deal, a cooperative relationship, but we had developed a true friendship as well. And I never forgot that he was the one who picked me for these "Lessons" of his.

While I was becoming more acquainted with Matt and his friends, I still wasn't part of that group. You could tell that they entertained me because of him, but I was never invited over for their gaming nights, and I was definitely not invited to any parties with them. It seemed like there were parties going on every night of the week: frats on Greek row would open their houses up for Thirsty Thursday, or a dorm floor would get together and have a line of room parties. It was amazing to me how much time some of these guys dedicated to getting drunk and hooking up with whoever they met. It seemed like every night Matt was invited to something. Sometimes he would choose to stay in and watch movies or play video games, but he always had options. On nights that he would go out, it was always the same routine: get the text calling him into action like the bat signal, carefully pick out an outfit for the night, fix his hair and head out to meet the guys for the night. I loved watching him go through this ritual because he was so low maintenance in daily life that seeing him get "dressed up" - even for college standards - was a nice change of pace. While he was out getting trashed, I would usually stay in the room either studying or gaming. It was nice to have the room to myself for a while, but I often wished I could have been spending time with friends as well. I've just never been good at making them.

Some nights Matt would come back to the room so drunk he would just go to bed immediately. After our "lessons" started though, he developed a habit of coming back and wanting to game or watch TV. While we were doing this, he would tell me about the night. These were my favorite times because even if I didn't actually go, it made me feel included in his experience.

Chapter 5

We were in the gym one afternoon working out side by side when I noticed for the first time that I wasn't struggling. I could see Matt's movements out of the corner of my eye, and I started to pace myself with him. After a few reps, we were totally in sync, and I felt myself start smiling knowing that I could keep up. Matt seemed to notice too because when we switched machines he raised both of our weight levels and smiled at me challengingly. I smiled back and powered right along with him. Being in sync like that was awesome. Our entire relationship up to that point had been him taking me under his wing, but at that moment we were finally on the same level.

After we made our rounds through all the weights and machines, I started toward the showers.

"Dave, would you want to hit up the sauna with me? That was an awesome workout, but I feel like I need to detox a little."

I had never been in a sauna before but it seemed like it could be nice, so I accompanied him. We changed into our towels and headed in. It was just the two of us in the steamy room, so we took seats opposite each other along the back wall.

"You looked really awesome today bro. You went hard and killed it. I was really impressed."

"Thanks, I think I'm getting better. I didn't even think about how difficult it was today - it just felt like second nature."

"You are getting a lot better and definitely stronger. Just look at the tone you're getting in your arms and chest."

"Really? Ya think so?" I hadn't noticed much change myself, but I didn't typically examine myself in the mirror either.

"Oh yeah, just look at yourself. Your pecs look awesome, your arms are getting a visible cut. You look good." The entire time he was talking he was looking up and down my body which made me strangely nervous.

I looked down and touched my chest and arms. I hadn't noticed any visible difference in my body until he pointed it out. But looking at and feeling it now, it definitely didn't feel like the scrawny body I had begun the semester with. I was proud of my hard work and even more excited that Matt had been the one to notice first.

"Your shirts have started fitting better. I noticed a couple weeks ago. They're starting to look how they were meant to look," Matt chuckled and stood up. "Ok, enough of this talk or I'll inflate your head too much to make any more progress. We should probably hit the showers here since we went in the sauna."

He started walking to the door, but I sat frozen. I had a serious fear of locker room showers since the boys in middle school had made fun of me during gym class. I was well endowed for my age, and instead of being impressed, the boys would tease me for it endlessly. It was one of the top reasons I had chosen homeschooling in high school.

"Do you think we have to shower here? I'm sure the dorm showers have stalls empty."

"Dave, that's gross. We've been sitting in puddles of our own sweat for the past fifteen minutes. We are definitely taking showers here before going out into public."

I still felt hesitant.

"Come on. It's a big room with shower heads - you mind your business, and everyone else minds theirs. There's nothing weird about it, I promise," As he said the last sentence, he pulled off his towel and flicked it at me before laughing hysterically. I tried my hardest to not look down at his manhood, but when he turned around I got a full view of his well-toned ass before he disappeared through the sauna doors.

I followed a still naked Matt into the shower room and was surprised to find it empty as well. Though he had every shower head to choose from, Matt chose one only two heads away from my own. I was still terrified, but Matt's blatant nudity had eased my worries. I figured if I was actively avoiding looking at him, he would likely do the same for me. So, reluctantly, I removed my towel and stepped into the warm stream. 

I had just relaxed myself into the experience when I hear Matt call over from his space, "See, not so bad is it?"

I instinctually turned and looked over at him, and in doing so he caught a glimpse of what I had been trying to hide. 

"WOAH! Bro, is that why you didn't want to use a public shower? Shit man, I never would have guessed you were packing that in those kakis of yours."

I immediately turned away from him and felt my old anxieties rising. "Look, Matt, I really don't want to talk about this. Especially right now."

I could hear him shut off his shower head, and I wondered what he was going to do. 

"Hey, Dave, I'm sorry man. It's a private topic, and I didn't mean to make such a big deal out of it. I'll go use one of the shower heads on the other side of the room if it makes you feel any better." I nodded and heard the shower directly behind me turn on. 

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Matt called out, "Dave, I can tell you're embarrassed by it, but you really shouldn’t be. You were given a gift from god - don't treat it like a curse."

Chapter 6

The next week flew by in a rush of classes and workouts but come Friday, Matt and I were in the gym for our typical afternoon weights session. I had thought a lot about what had happened in the showers the last week and Matt was right, I overreacted about something I shouldn’t be embarrassed of. After the bullying in middle school, I had been so ashamed of my large package that I all but ignored that part of myself unless it needed attending. After the shower incident, however, I took the time to really get to know it.  I researched what a typical penis might look like and found that I well above average, and being large is actually a very good characteristic. I realized that Matt had been right - I should be proud rather than treating it as a curse.

So after our workout, I was the one who called out to him, “How ‘bout a trip to that sauna? I could use some relaxation after this week.”

Matt seemed shocked but agreed readily.

We weren’t the only ones in the sauna this week, so the conversation was halted, but sitting next to him I could feel that we had gotten over whatever awkward situation we had been in. When the time came for the showers, I wanted to show him that I didn’t have inhibitions about the situation anymore. When we walked into the empty locker room, I took my opportunity and whipped my towel off to crack it the way he had done last week.

“Well, looks like someone’s excited to be naked and show off their massive package,” He joked as he, too, snapped his towel off.

We walked into the shower room and took the same opposing shower heads that we had ended with last week. I felt myself relaxing even more as the warm water washed down my body. As I turned around to wash my hair, I found my eyes drawn to Matt at his shower head. He was turned facing the wall, so I had a full view of his back, ass, and legs. I knew it was rude to look - especially after the fit I threw last week - but I couldn’t pull my eyes away. I had often observed his back and the graceful slopes of its muscles, but it looked different - more mesmerizing - with water dripping down it. I followed the water trail with my eyes starting from his muscular shoulders, down the hills of his back before coming together in a stream at his spine and passing through the dimples of his lower back and finding a home in the crevice of his toned ass. I was amazed by how his body flowed into itself so effortlessly. I was quickly drawn out of my staring by the realization that I was becoming aroused.

I spun around and did everything I could to distract myself, slowly taming my physical reaction. I wondered what had just happened and what it meant.

Chapter 7

That night, Matt had some of his friends over to watch football and hang out. I watched along with them, but as soon as the game was over, and one of them brought up a frat party I pulled out my laptop knowing this was the time of night we parted ways.

Instead of going through his normal ritual though, Matt looked over at me and asked, "Dave, wanna come to the party? It's supposed to be one of the best ones of the year. Plus there will be girls all over the place." He winked at me as he said the last part, and I understood his promise.

I agreed happily, and though the guys seemed shocked by the invitation, they welcomed me into the group for the night. We walked over to the frat house and saw people on the front steps already wasted. My initial excitement had worn off, and I was left with nerves. I had never been to a party like this before, nor had I ever really had alcohol. It was a night of firsts in every aspect.  

We finally got inside, and I looked around amazed at the number of people dancing and drinking. Matt sent his friends away to get us beers and then pulled me in to announce his game plan.

"Our goal for tonight is to get you some action, ok? So, take a look around at all the girls and find one you like. You and I will go up and start talking to her. I'm your wingman, so my whole job is to get you laid with this girl. I'll talk you up, get her interested, all that before giving the two of you some time alone. Here’s a condom in case we strike gold. Does that sound like a deal?" He had obviously played this role before.

"What do I do when you leave?"

"You just do whatever you feel like. If the conversation is awesome keep it up but if you can tell she just wants to get together then ask her to dance and kiss her on the dance floor. You'll know what to do instinctually."

I was still pretty nervous, but the guys returned with the beers, so I drank up for some liquid courage. After the first one, I felt the alcohol hit my system, and I felt better instantly. I scanned the room like Matt told me. Though most of the girls looked out of my league or way too drunk, there was one girl in the back who gave off a more innocent vibe. She was standing there talking to a friend who I figured could be good for Matt as well. I pointed them out to him, and we headed over.

"Remember Dave, play it cool," he whispered to me before we introduced ourselves. "Hey, ladies! How are you beautiful girls doing tonight?"

They smiled and giggled, obviously excited that someone like Matt was flirting with them. All of the girls wanted Matt up front which made him a fantastic wingman.

I'm not sure what the four of us talked about after that- it went by in such a blur of beer and nerves. I was aware that Matt was leading the conversation. I tried to keep up, but he was just naturally more charismatic. I saw my opportunity though when he struck up a conversation with the friend leaving my girl standing unoccupied. I had a moment of panic realizing I couldn't remember her name, but I tried to move on without that showing.

"So," I asked. "Do you come to frat parties a lot?"

"Um, yeah I guess," she giggled back. "I mean not a lot, but I definitely party. I'm not one of those losers who stays in studying on Friday or anything. Can you imagine being like that?"

I just laughed in response. She was obviously trying to be cute, and I didn't want to blow my chance.

"So do you like to dance?"

"Oh yeah, I love dancing!" She squealed.

"Would you want to go dance with me?" I wasn't sure if I asked properly or at the right time, but she seemed excited enough.

"Yeah, sure! Let me just tell Katie. We should totally do shots too! Katie loves shots - I’ll invite her and your friend!" Before I could respond, she ran over to Matt and the friend to let them know our plans. Matt looked up at me and winked. I smiled back, but he must have sensed my nerves still acting up because immediately after I heard him and the girls yell "Shots!" as they hurtled towards me.  

The girl whose name I still didn't know grabbed my hand and dragged me over to the bar. We got there first, and without asking what type of drink I would prefer, she placed an order for four tequila shots. I didn't know much about booze, but I did know that tequila would ensure an interesting first drinking experience.

When our shots had been poured we held them up as a group, and Matt made a toast, "To old and new friends!"

I put the small glass up to my mouth, drained it to the last drop and slammed it on the table. It was disgusting, but it was down. I felt more confident immediately, but maybe that was just the absurdity of taking a shot in a frat house getting me hyped up.

I figured this was a now or never opportunity, so I grabbed the girl’s hand, told her it was time to dance and pulled her onto the dance floor. I had never danced like this before, so I followed the movements of everyone around my and hoped I didn’t look absurd. My partner seemed to be having fun, and that’s all that mattered.

After a few minutes of awkwardly swaying to whatever type of music the DJ kept playing, I wondered what Matt was up to. The girl he was with was very pretty, but he could get anyone he wanted, so he may have moved on after helping me. I turned and looked back to the bar. Sure enough, he was still there with the friend who seemed to be, understandably, all over him. He was looking at me, though. Watching to make sure I didn’t screw up my chance to actually score probably. Yet, when we made eye contact, there was something much different in his face than his typical ‘teacher-like’ expression. I couldn’t tell exactly what it was, but it looked faintly like sadness. We got caught up in staring at each other for a few moments before he finally seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in. Wordlessly, he lifted up his glass towards me and gave me his famous lop-sided smile before downing the drink and leaving with the girl.

Realizing that I was ignoring my own date, I turned back to the nameless girl who seemed so lost in dancing that she hadn't even noticed. I moved in closer and attempted to dance on her the way other guys were doing with their dates. She took the signal and made the move herself. Before I knew it, she was gyrating all over my lower regions in a way that might have felt good had she been less intoxicated and more coordinated. I was in no place to complain about dancing with a pretty girl though, so I dealt with the awkward movements and continued our back and forth.

After a few songs, she turned around and asked whether I would want to go upstairs. I wasn't quite sure what upstairs meant, but I assumed it would give us more privacy, so I agreed. I grabbed her hand, and she led the way.

"So, I don't think we're really supposed to be up here since you aren't a brother, but fuck it! Let's break into a room," she whispered back to me as we climbed the stairs.

I really didn't want to break into anything, but I also didn't want to risk losing this opportunity, so I followed her wordlessly up and into a corridor of doors. The first few were locked which I assume meant occupied. We finally stumbled into an unlocked and empty room on our fifth try.

She put her finger up to her mouth to make the "shush" sigh but ended up giggling instead. It was at that point that I realized she was totally wasted, and her nonstop giggling had been a symptom of that. I didn't want her to be too drunk, but I was definitely not forcing anything either.

We walked into the room, and she closed the door behind us making sure to lock it for privacy. I felt myself growing awkward again. What I hadn't told Matt was that not only had I never had sex before, I'd not even been kissed. I was entirely new to all of tonight's experiences.

My unnamed date started walking toward me and put her arms around my shoulders when she got close enough. I took the hint and placed my hands on her hips.

“Just you and me now. Want to have some fun?” She whispered this in a tone I’m sure was meant to be sexy but sounded more like we were in a horror movie hiding from the bad guy. I could smell the tequila on her breath and took everything I had not to turn away for air.

“Yeah,” I stumbled out. “Are you ready?”

She just laughed in response and pulled my head in. Our lips collided, and she started to aggressively suck and tug at my bottom lip. I had never really thought much about the logistics of kissing but this wasn’t what I expected it to be like. I responded using the same motions as her but with significantly less force. She seemed to like this for a minute, but just as I was getting comfortable with our mouth’s motions she inserted her tongue into my parted lips. She plunged it in and felt around assertively, like a swimmer searching for the shore. I reciprocated the action with my own tongue, and she moaned her satisfaction though I don’t know what she found so appealing about it.

In one swift motion, her fingers began to unbutton my shirt, and the whole situation became realer. I was actually going to have sex today. As she fumbled with my top half, I took a moment to look at her. She was very pretty - maybe not beautiful - but definitely pretty. Her blonde hair fell over her shoulders and looked slightly fake, but her blue eyes were what really drew me in. They were the same color as Matt’s though they lacked the natural sparkle his seemed to emit.

She pulled off my shirt, and hers followed before she reached down to unbutton my pants. I had yet to become turned on at this point, but I figured it was just the nerves keeping me at bay. I tried to relax and think about anything that might help in the arousal. The first thing that popped into my mind was Matt’s body in the showers earlier that day. I opened my eyes immediately, shocked that I had thought of that particular memory in such an erotic moment. Luckily, I had accomplished my goal, and I was becoming aroused.

As she made her way down my front, I heard her gasp when she reached my manhood. She pulled my pants down ferociously and reached inside my boxer-briefs to pull it out. She looked up at me, smiled and all at once took it in her mouth. I had heard men brag about getting blowjobs, but this didn't seem like anything special. In fact, it felt largely awkward and rough. She didn't seem to know what to do with it all and, within a few moments, I heard her gag. She pulled her head back, ran to the trash can and expelled all the alcohol she had consumed tonight. Knowing it was time for me to leave, I pulled my pants back up, still only barely aroused, and put my shirt back on as I slipped out of the room.

I slowly made my way back to the dorm room, thinking over how odd of a night it had been. I opened the bedroom door half expecting Matt to be missing still, but I was pleasantly surprised to find him sitting on the floor playing video games and drinking.

Chapter 8

"Well, if it isn't our champ of the night! Come here and tell me how it felt getting that beautiful cock of yours wet!" He was obviously intoxicated, so I joined him on the floor and took a large swig from his glass hoping to get there myself.

"We are never talking about this night again, ok?" I said it in such a serious tone that he paused the game to look at me.

"What happened? Are you ok?"

I told him the story slowly, drinking my way through the details. Of course I left out the part about him, but the rest was fair game. He just sat there listening patiently as I revealed the horror of the whole night. When I finally finished, he sat in stunned silence, mouth slightly agape before laughing hysterically.

“I’m so sorry bro! I don’t mean to laugh at you – it’s her! She had no idea what to do, and it’s just fucking hilarious,” he said between bursts of laughter. He was right. I could feel myself relax and began to laugh as well.

We sat there on the floor laughing together for a few minutes side by side, occasionally taking swigs of the booze.

“From now on, new rule: don’t ever let a bad kisser next to your dick. If they don’t know how to use their mouth up top, they sure as hell won’t know how to use it down there,” he motioned to my pants. “Was she the worst kisser you’ve ever been with?”

I was too drunk and comfortable around him to hide the truth, “Actually, she was my first kiss as well.”

Matt looked up at me, “Whoa Dave, I wish I had known that. I’m sorry. If I knew, I wouldn’t have thrown you into it so quickly.” He seemed genuinely saddened and sorry which made me feel bad for telling him.

“No, no. It’s totally ok. First kisses usually suck anyway right? Please don’t feel bad.”

“Yeah, first kisses aren’t usually the best. It’s the first time you’re kissed right that really matters. I just...I wish she had treated you right.. kissed you the way you deserve to be kissed. That’s what I wanted for you.”

As he said this, he placed his hand on my thigh, a little higher than midway up with his fingertips wrapped around the inseam of my pants. His action surprised me, but I prayed he kept it there. We stared at each other wordlessly for a minute, and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach arise from their eighteen-year slumber. I had never felt this sort of attraction before, and I was confused as to where it came from. Slowly, I felt myself leaning in toward him and saw him leaning toward me.

“Dave, can I show you what a real kiss should feel like?” He was staring so deeply into my eyes I struggled to nod for fear of breaking the spell.

I closed my eyes and felt his lips capture my own. It was at once both soft and assertive. He put one hand on my face and the other around my waist. We sat like that for a few minutes kissing slowly, and I immediately felt all of the emotions I lacked with the nameless girl. I put my hand up to his face as he used the arm wrapped around my waist to draw my entire body closer.

The tip of his tongue touched my lips, teasing me with its presence. I returned the favor hoping for access into his beautiful mouth, but he remained tight-lipped. Instead, he flicked out his tongue a moment later and traced the lining of my lips. It felt like nothing before; I heard a moan escape my mouth without realizing it had been formed. The moan seemed to set him off because the next moment he had lifted me up and placed me on top of himself, straddling his already hardening manhood. I could feel my own arousal growing at an incredible rate.

In one swift motion, he slipped his tongue into my mouth while his hands unbuttoned my shirt. Our tongues danced together from mouth to mouth, twisting and turning in response to each other. Once he had undone my shirt, he took a moment to observe my hard work and run his hands down my exposed skin. When he reached my jean line, he let his fingers linger at the waistband causing my arousal to grow even harder.

He looked back up at me, leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I haven't stopped thinking about your body since that first day in the sauna."

I felt a shiver go down my spine before whispering back, "I thought of you in the showers tonight when I was trying to get hard for her."

These statements set us both off, and we began to kiss passionately again. His hands roamed my body, and I ached for them every time he would tease my waistline. Finally, he asked me to move up to his bed, and I happily agreed.

I got into bed first, and as he stood up I pulled off his shirt allowing me the same access to his body that he had to mine. After months of admiring it from afar, I finally understood why I had been so drawn to his muscles and the curves of his body. It was now on top of me, and it felt even better than I could have imagined: firm but incredibly soft.

I let my hands roam his torso before finding my favorite place in the dimples at the base of his back. We rolled around in bed awhile, thrusting into each other and exploring the details of our bodies. Finally, he flipped me on my back and began to kiss my neck. This enticed more unintentional moaning to escape from my lips. He slowly made his way down through my collarbone and onto my chest.

I felt my entire abdomen twitch to life as he made his way across my stomach leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. When he reached the top of my pants, I was aching to be released from their tight confines.

He looked up into my eyes and winked before saying in the sexiest voice I've ever heard, "I'm going to treat your beautiful cock the way it deserves to be treated."

I almost lost it right there. He pulled down my pants and let the beast slip free from its restraints. Slowly, he took me in his mouth, and I experienced my first moments of heaven on earth. The feeling of him wrapped around me was the most intimate experience I had ever shared with another human, and it couldn't have felt the same with anyone else. His tongue was skilled and knowledgeable, and the moans that kept escaping my lips only seemed to drive him on. After a few moments, I had reached my breaking point. I warned him, but he remained in place. My hips thrust up off the bed, and I was brought to a place of ecstasy before collapsing on the bed in exhaustion. My entire body felt utterly relaxed.

Matt came up and laid beside me, obviously proud of what he had accomplished. After a moment to recover, I pushed him on his back and decided it was my turn to have some fun. I reciprocated almost identically and was amazed by the sensation I got being the one on the giving end. Feeling his strong thighs beneath my hands, cupping his beautiful ass, and hearing the moan that escaped his lips the second I took him in my mouth almost drove me over the edge again. Pleasuring him was just as satisfying as getting pleasure myself. I loved being the one responsible for the grunt he made when he climaxed and had the opportunity to see him in such intimate circumstances. We were more connected than I ever could have hoped.

When we had both finished, we crawled underneath the covers and shared his pillow. I felt him nuzzle into my neck as we drifted to sleep.

I woke up at dawn the next morning when the sun streamed in through the dorm window. It took me a moment to realize where I was, but the memory of last night came back to me in a rush. I couldn't believe what we had done, but I couldn't believe how happy it made me either. I attempted to turn but felt the sharp pain of a hangover in my head. I looked down and realized that Matt’s arm was still draped around me, and I could feel his morning arousal in my back. Instead of shifting, I decided to cuddle further into him and drift back off to sleep.

When I woke up for the second time that day, I expected to be in the same position I had woken in before. Unfortunately, Matt was nowhere to be found. I looked around the room for him, but he was gone. It was then that I realized he might have feelings about last night as well, and they may not be the same as mine. I felt my guy fill with dread that he might have woken up and regretted everything. So I did the only thing I could do: I took a shower.

I didn't see Matt the rest of the day and when he finally got back that night something had obviously changed in his demeanor. He barely looked at me and only spoke in single words. It wasn't until he turned the lights off to go to bed, however, that he said the words I had been dreading.

"Look, David. About what happened last night - I'd prefer if we never talked about it again. I just got really drunk."

"Ok," was all I managed to respond. I felt my heart sinking. Something about waking up next to him had shown me a happiness I never expected to find. The thought of never having that again with him mad me so sad I could physically feel the pain in my chest.

I turned over and didn't get much sleep the rest of the night.

Chapter 9

The rest of the week went by at a snail’s pace. It was as if all the progress we had made throughout the year had been destroyed overnight. Matt was more distant now than he had ever been before. We had totally given up on our daily gym routine, and I retreated back to my books while he found entertainment outside the room.

The worst part of it all was the feeling that I had lost my only real friend. Even before emotions became involved, he was the closest thing to a best friend that I had ever had. I almost wished the entire semester had never happened because I was perfectly happy being friendless before I knew how incredible that bond can be. The semester was ending in a month, and I had already decided to apply for a roommate transfer. I assumed he felt the same way, and I knew it was the best way to save myself another year of this misery.

****

By the end of our second week as non-friends, I was struggling more than ever. I had an exam in two days and the more I tried to study, the more I thought about Matt and I. It was 1:00 am and I was in bed reading when the dorm door opened, and he walked in. I suspected he had been crying, but I didn’t want to ask. He just stared at me for a few minutes before marching over to my bed, grabbing my face and kissing me tenderly. I felt my heart rise back up from the pit of my stomach.

“I was really scared,” he gave me that soul-deep stare of his. “I am still really scared. But I want to be scared with you. If that’s ok?”

Wordlessly, I pulled back the blankets on my bed and pulled him back into his rightful place beside me.

End of Part 1

Continue David and Matt’s story in Part 2, available now: CLICK HERE

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