On Deck | Kate Sherwood

It takes a while for Dan to understand what he's feeling. His stomach is kind of queasy, and he's just a little off in other ways, alternately too hot and too cold, full of energy but unable to concentrate on anything. He guesses it could be the flu, but that doesn't seem right, somehow.

There's an unpleasant few moments when he wonders if maybe it's the effects of his concussion making themselves felt again. Lord knows they hadn't gone away as quickly or completely as Dan (or Evan) would have liked… but, no, this feels different.

He feels like an idiot when he realizes that he's just nervous. He feels stupid for not recognizing the emotion, but also for having it in the first place, damn it! It's just Evan. They've all been getting along great lately, hardly any tension except for the good kind, the attraction that blurs into want and then need, the teasing before the satisfaction. So what's to be nervous about?

Dan hears a knock at the door of the apartment and then Evan's voice calling out a greeting as he enters. Dan takes a quick look in the mirror as he yells back. "Hey, I'll be right there." The cast and the bruises are gone, the stitches have long since melted away to wherever dissolving stitches melt away to… there's still the thin line of a scar visible, but Dan doesn't think it's something he needs to worry about. And other than that, he pretty much looks the same—maybe a few pounds heavier from all the food Evan's been insisting he eat for the last few weeks. Dan isn't sure if he's being lovingly cared for or fattened up for Thanksgiving.
He straightens his collar and then heads out to the main room. "Hey,

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man - Jeff make it off okay?"

Evan nods. "Yup, no problems. I think I'm going to hire myself a chauffeur. It is so much easier to get dropped off at the airport than to park there yourself."

"Yeah, a chauffeur. That's the logical solution. Why spend forty bucks on a cab when you could spend forty thousand on a chauffeur?" Evan frowns. "Shit, man, I wouldn't get a cheap chauffeur! I'm thinking eighty thousand at least!"

"Wow. Maybe I'll apply for the job." The nerves are gone, pretty much. Being around Evan is a lot easier than thinking about being around Evan. Once again, Dan's worst enemy is his own brain.

Evan is giving him the once over. "That a new shirt?"
Dan frowns. "Yeah, so?"

Evan's hands are raised immediately in surrender. "Nothing, man. I like it. It looks good. I just, you know… I didn't know you were going to go shopping for the occasion." He smiles wickedly. "I'm flattered, really." He steps a little closer and sniffs the air. "Damn, is that cologne?" He reaches a hand out to Dan's face, laughing when Dan jerks back. "Dude, I don't even need to touch to see that you're fresh-shaved." His smirk is very self-satisfied. "You got all dressed up for me, Dan!"

Dan scowls. "Fuck you." Dan sneaks a look at Evan, but the guy always looks pretty put together, so it's kind of hard to notice a difference. Dan wonders what it says about his own usual grooming that Evan can pick up on this little bit of fussing so easily.

Evan's still grinning, apparently not too worried. "You look really pretty, sweetheart."

"You're pushing it, dude."

"Are there any other surprises waiting for me? Fancy lingerie,

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maybe?"

"Yeah, maybe the girl you pick up after I dump your ass will be wearing some, I don't know."

Evan just laughs, and pauses long enough for Dan to know that the teasing is over. Or that Evan's building up for another round. But Evan's voice is calm and sincere when he continues. "Okay, yeah. You ready to go?"

Dan shrugs cautiously. "I don't know— you tell me. It's a bit hard to know if I'm ready when I don't know where we're going…."

Evan looks Dan up and down, then smiles. "Yeah, man, you're ready. You're perfect." He steps aside to let Dan precede him out of the apartment. Dan's not really sure what to do with this new dynamic; chivalrous, solicitous Evan had started up when Dan was recovering from his fall and actually needed a little extra care, but Evan seems totally happy to be carrying on with it now that Dan's better. Dan isn't sure how to make it stop without seeming churlish. And he's not actually sure he wants it to stop; sometimes it feels like an unwelcome slight to his masculinity, but sometimes it just feels nice. Like he's being taken care of.

For now, he goes along with it. Evan has spent enough time at the apartment to know to lock the door before pulling it shut behind him, so Dan just keeps moving down the stairs to Evan's car. The passenger side door is locked, which is unusual when Evan is just dropping in somewhere, but that makes sense when Evan comes up behind Dan and reaches around him to put the key in the lock and then gallantly open the door for him. Dan rolls his eyes and Evan smirks like he's won another point in whatever game they're playing.

Evan waits until Dan is safely inside and then gently shuts the door before circling around to his own side and climbing in. Dan waits until they're on the main road before mildly commenting, "You know, this

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whole date thing was my idea in the first place."

Evan glances at him in surprise. "Yeah, man, I know." He looks a little confused. "Great idea."

"Yeah, so, you know… how come you're acting like you're the one in charge?"

Evan frowns. "You said I could plan it…."

And there it is, Dan seeming churlish. Damn. "Yeah, I know… I just… dude, I can open my own door!"

"Yeah, man, I know you can." Evan shrugs, and looks over at Dan fondly. "But I can open it, too… is it really that big of a deal?" Dan sighs. "It's not the door. Or, you know…."

"You think it makes you less of a man if another man opens a door for you?" Evan smiles. "It's okay for another man to suck you off, or give you a hand job… it's okay for you to fuck another man, but doors… they're over the line." Evan's smile gets a little sharper. "And getting fucked, of course. Only girly-men take it up the ass…."

This conversation just got a lot more serious than Dan was planning to make it. Insofar as he had planned it at all. "That's not…." He leans his head against the cool glass of the window. "That's not what I meant. It's not what I think…."

Evan looks like he's going to make a bigger deal about it, but he pulls himself back. "Okay. If it bugs you, I can try to ease off on the door stuff."

Dan doesn't like the look on Evan's face, and he doesn't like to be the one who put it there. He thinks for a moment. "The door stuff… you know… sometimes it's okay."
Evan glances over as if he's trying to read Dan's expression.

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"Sometimes. Okay, well, that's a little vague. Can you give me some firmer guidelines?" He sounds like he's mostly joking, but he's still waiting for an answer.

An answer that Dan doesn't really have. "Uh…not really?"

They're on the highway now, heading up towards the city, and Evan has to concentrate on traffic for a bit, steering around a van pulled over to the side with its hood up, and all the other cars doing strange things to avoid the obstacle. By the time they're clear, Dan is hoping that Evan has forgotten the whole thing, but Evan apparently hasn't. "So, what, I can do it sometimes, but sometimes I'm going to get my head bit off for trying, and I'm never going to know which it is?"

"Well…that doesn't sound good." Dan tries to see things from Evan's perspective. "Let me ask you, man— why do you want to do it?" Evan tries to deflect. "I don't know… it just seems polite, you know?"

"Bullshit." Dan's not mad, but he's not letting Evan get away with that. "You don't open doors for Jeff. You do for Tat, but only if she's dressed up or something. And for Robyn, or other women, but not all the time, just if you get there first. And not for other men, not that I've ever seen." He shakes his head. "It's not just manners, not if you only do it with me."

Evan's quiet for a bit, and Dan hopes it's because he's really thinking about the question, not just looking for a new way to deflect it. He looks at Dan before he starts talking, and his expression is open enough that Dan thinks Evan's going to try to be honest. "I just liked it, you know? When you were hurt?" He realizes what he's said, and corrects himself in a rush. "I mean, I didn't like it that you were hurt. I hated that. I still think Winston should be heading for the dog food factory. But, you know… I liked taking care of you." He smiles fondly. "I never really got it, with Jeff… the way that he took care of me. I thought he was feeling guilty, or,

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you know, just being a big gentle freak, but… I don't know… when it was my turn… it was kind of nice." He pauses. "It was really nice."

Dan doesn't actually have anything to say to that, but Evan is clearly waiting for a reply. "Yeah, okay…." Dan thinks back to Justin, remembers how they'd take turns making Sunday breakfasts, and how nice it had been to make Justin's favorites. He remembers how Justin had always polished Dan's boots and tack before a show, at the same time he was doing his own. And he remembers with a flash of shame that he'd bitched to Justin about it, had thought that it was Justin's way of saying that Dan didn't do a good enough job, was making the stable look bad. Justin had looked so hurt to realize that his gesture had been misinterpreted. "Fuck."

Evan has apparently gotten lost in his own thoughts as Dan was lost in his, and he looks over in surprise. "What?"

Dan sighs. "Can you… can you only do it in private? I mean, don't go pulling my chair out at restaurants, and don't do the door thing around the barn, but, you know…I'm okay with it if it's just us."

"And Jeff…."

Dan nods his head. "That's what I said… just us." He smiles over at Evan and is rewarded by the warm affection in Evan's eyes.

The rest of the drive is taken up with idle chatter, mostly Dan trying to guess where they're going. He's still new to the area and really doesn't know where anything is, so his guesses are based mostly on the signs at the side of the road. They're heading up through the city, and Dan can safely say that he has no idea what they're up to. Evan changes into the right lane, and then back in to the center, and looks over sheepishly at Dan.

"Oops. I wasn't paying attention— almost took you to the office." He shakes his head. "Damn, I needed a day off, I guess—getting to be too much of a drone."
"So, not the office, then… that was gonna be my next guess."

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They're downtown, and Dan looks around with some interest. "Can you see the building from here?"

Evan nods. "Wait another minute…." He gestures with his right hand. "That one, over there. The big black one."

"Huh. That's…."

"Dude, it was the eighties. It was cutting edge, I guess, when we built it…."

"Wait, you guys built it? Like, the whole building?"

Evan looks confused. "Well, you know… the company, not me. I was just a kid. And they didn't build it by hand… there were contractors, or whatever…."

"But… shit, do you guys own the whole building? I thought… I don't know, I thought you'd just rent a floor or two somewhere."

Evan grins. "You don't really believe I run a company at all, do you? You think I just drive off every day, go work in middle management somewhere, and then come home and make up stories."

"No, dude, I… I realized you ran a company, I just… it's a pretty damn big company, huh?"

Evan makes his voice breathy. "Oh, yeah, Dan, it's huge." He grins, then shrugs. "We rent a few of the lower floors out, and there's retail on the ground level. But 8 to 32—that's all us. You can come for a visit sometime, if you want. It's not really too interesting, though. Just offices. We have factories and stuff, but they're not downtown, obviously."

Dan has had little bits of this conversation before. He knows that the company is highly diversified, doesn't have one field in which they specialize, and he guesses he should have known from the sheer number of different industries Evan mentioned that there would be a lot of people working for him, but… 24 floors is still a lot, especially when it's for just

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

management types, not even making anything.

Evan is pulling into a parking lot, and Dan has missed the sign, doesn't know where they are, and then he sees the ocean, sees the boats lined up in orderly rows. He looks over at Evan, who's watching him with some trepidation.

"This okay? You don't get seasick, do you?"

"I, uh… I have no idea, really. I've been in a motor boat a couple times, and that was okay, but it was just on a lake."

Evan looks cautiously hopeful. "That might be an okay test. Jeff gets totally sick, and Tat isn't really a big fan of sailing." He looks out over the boats. "This was my mom's thing, really. She was a great sailor, competed nationally when she was younger. She used to take me out all the time, just her and me…." There's a second where he looks like a sad little boy, and Dan resolves to do whatever it takes to get rid of that look, but Evan shakes it off all on his own. "We used to go out in her Laser, but I'm really too big for one of those just on my own now, let alone with a passenger." Then he's opening his door, and Dan hurries to get his own open, and to climb out before Evan can come over to help.

Dan has a familiar flash of being an outsider as they head out towards the docks and he sees some of the boats that are down there. Some of them are huge, and obviously in great condition, and Dan wonders how much they cost. It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and the dock is busy, people bustling around, all seeming to know what they're doing. Dan feels underdressed in his jeans, even though Evan is wearing the same. Evan seems to sense his unease, and hangs back a little, not touching, but smiling warmly. "You okay? We can do something else if you want…."

"No, I'm fine, I just… " He looks at one of the boats moving past them, five people on board, all fully engrossed, busy doing things that Dan can't begin to understand. He nods in that direction. "I don't really think

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

I'm going to be much use."

Evan sees where he's looking, and shakes his head. "No, that's fine…that's—" His explanation is interrupted by a booming voice from down the dock.

"Evan? Evan, it's good to see you back!" They both turn to see a sixty-ish man, grey hair blowing above his tanned, smiling face, striding purposefully towards them. "It's been too long, son!" He claps Evan on the shoulder and then they shake hands.

Evan seems happy to see him. "Cappy, I was wondering if you'd be here. Should have known you wouldn't miss a beautiful day like today!"

"Absolutely not— and I thought it was my bad luck to have been stuck doing paperwork for too long this morning… but if I'd been out on the water earlier, I wouldn't have run into you, so I guess these things all work themselves out, don't they?"

"Wow, that's pretty philosophical, Cappy. You're mellowing in your old age."

Cappy frowns a little, although he doesn't seem too serious. "Don't let these kids hear you say that, Evan. I need them to have a little fear in their hearts or they'll get out of control!"

"Ah, you're still playing that game, are you?" Evan glances over to Dan, who's been waiting somewhat awkwardly. "Cappy, this is Dan… can you believe he's made it this far in life without ever going sailing?" Cappy shakes his head sadly, and Evan smiles at Dan. "Cappy's in charge of the youth program here— I think Blaine and I are responsible for at least half the grey in his hair."

Cappy's roar of laughter draws some attention, and then there's another sailing friend greeting Evan and visiting, and then another, and Evan is careful to introduce Dan to everyone, and they're all friendly enough, but they're mostly talking about sailing, or about people that Dan's

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

never even heard of, and he smiles at Evan to show that it's fine, and then lets himself drift out of the conversation.

He watches the people instead, and it slowly dawns on him that he's seeing the same divide that he sees in the equestrian world, with a group of people who seem like they're the workers, and the ones who are the hobbyists, here because they enjoy sailing and have the money to indulge themselves. It's strange, because it seems like the work is divided in a quite egalitarian way, most people chipping in with whatever needs to be done, although there are a few exceptions, a few disdainful yachtsmen standing by and waiting while somebody else loads up their boats. Dan wonders what it means, that there are people there who are paying for the privilege, and others who are paid to be there, if they're both doing essentially the same thing. But then he notes that some people are stopping to talk to Evan, while others are just nodding their greetings and continuing on with their work, and he thinks maybe that's the secret— both groups are able to take part in the tasks, but only one group is able to stop when they want to. He thinks there are probably some parallels to be drawn to his world, but by the time he's gotten that far Evan has pulled himself away from his adoring public.

"Hey, man, sorry about that. I didn't really think about how many people I'd run into here."

"No, it's cool. No problem."

Evan gives him a close look as if to be sure that he means it, then nods down the dock. "Okay, well… if you're ready to go, we're down here." Evan leads, and Dan follows.

They walk down the dock to almost the end, and then Evan's gesturing with pride to one of the moored boats. Dan looks over at him to be sure he's serious. "Wow. It's… it's nice."
Evan frowns. "What does that mean? First off, boats are female, so

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

she's nice, and second… what do you mean, 'nice'?"

Dan grins. "No, I like it… her. I just… I thought you'd have some big monster boat. This is… it's cute." The boat is small, maybe twenty feet long, with no cabin, no steering wheel, no motor; it looks like a big rowboat with a sail installed.

Evan looks like he's trying to decide whether to be insulted. " She's cute. And, you know… she's a good boat! The smaller boats are more responsive, less forgiving— it takes a real sailor to manage one of these."

Dan nods carefully. "I've fallen off a lot of horses, but the only one that ever bucked me off was a little pony."

"Okay, we're not going to talk about you falling off horses, not today. But… yeah. The little ones are tough."

"Okay, so… what do I do? I mean, can I just sit there and watch you… sail, or whatever it's called?"

"Of course it's called sailing, Dan. And, yeah, another advantage of the smaller boat is that I can sail it on my own. You can just sit there and look pretty. In your new shirt and your close shave." Evan swings his backpack around and rummages through it before pulling out a small bottle and tossing it to Dan. "You better put that on now— the glare off the water makes the sun even stronger."

Dan catches the sunblock. It's brand new, SPF 30, and Dan doesn't think he's ever seen Evan use any sun protection, let alone one with such a high SPF. He grins. "Dude, you bought sunscreen for me. That's at least as sappy as me buying a damn shirt."

"Baby, your delicate skin is important to me. I've got nothing against you moaning when I touch you, but I don't want it to be because you're sunburned."
Dan smears sunblock on his exposed skin, and nods towards the

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pack. "What else have you got in there? What other planning did you put into this day?"

Evan swings it behind his back, hiding it from Dan's view. "Never you mind… supplies will appear as if by magic, but only when they are needed."

"Supplies, huh? I like the sound of that."

Evan waggles his eyebrows happily, then nods at the boat. "Okay, climb in. You can step there…." He gestures. "Just move a little slow— the boat will move with your weight." Dan follows instructions, and Evan settles him in the bow before getting the boat ready to sail.

Dan has no idea what Evan's doing, running ropes here and there, checking the rudder, doing… all kinds of things. Dan's used to seeing Evan being in charge, but usually it's with mental tasks; the only physical things Evan has done around Dan are sex, where, okay, yeah, he's pretty good, and working with horses, where he's really not. So maybe that's Dan's excuse, maybe the link to the Evan's other area of skill explains why seeing Evan being so physically competent makes Dan hot as hell.

Dan isn't sure what the rules are for fooling around in boats, but he's pretty sure it's not encouraged, at least not in a totally open boat that is still docked at a busy spot on a sunny Saturday afternoon. So he scoots up a little further into the bow, leaning his hands over and dangling his fingers in the water while Evan completes his tasks.

Evan looks up with a happy smile. "You good up there?" Dan nods. "You ready to go out on the water?" Dan nods again, and Evan smiles as he shifts around the boat, casting off from the dock. "Excellent, man, I'm liking this agreeable attitude. I know I'm pushing my luck, dude, but, you know… I think maybe this could be something you want to take with you into our future relationship."
Dan smiles at him calmly. "You're absolutely right, Evan. You are

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pushing your luck."

Evan grins, and then he's busy, one hand on the rudder to steer the boat, the other on a rope attached to the sail, pulling it in or out for reasons that aren't altogether clear to Dan. He's watching closely, though, trying to figure it out, and when Evan senses the attention he starts talking, explaining what he's doing. It doesn't take long before it starts making sense, and not long after that Dan starts getting antsy, and again Evan notices.

"You want to try it, don't you?" Evan waits for Dan to admit it. "Yeah, kinda…"

"Cool." He looks almost shy. "It'd be great to have someone to sail with. I didn't realize how much I missed it…" He makes his voice more businesslike. "Just wait another few minutes, until we're out of the crowd. Once we've got a bit more space, you can cut loose."

Dan isn't sure that he's really interested in 'cutting loose,' but the promise of getting a chance to try the sailing makes him pay even more attention to Evan's instructions. They change direction a little and he finds himself squinting into the sun, and almost instantly Evan is burrowing through his backpack, pulling out a case and tossing it to Dan.

Dan catches it, pulls out a pair of sunglasses, and resolutely doesn't look for a brand name. He's pretty sure he'd find one, an expensive one, and he doesn't really want to start adding up just how much Evan has spent on their casual day. The glasses work, anyway, and he can feel his forehead lifting in relaxation.

Evan shows Dan how to tack, how to duck the boom as the sail swivels around, and then gets a concerned look on his face. "But, look, man, you have to duck. The boom's just made of aluminum, it's not the end of the world if I get hit with it… but your brain is recently scrambled… you're supposed to be being extra careful…."
"Dude, I'll be fine." He feels a bit impatient, but one look at Evan

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shows him that the other man is genuinely worried, and Dan smiles reassuringly. "I'll be extra careful. I'll duck, for sure."

Evan looks like he still has doubts, but he lets Dan shift down towards the stern of the boat. At first, they divide the jobs, with Evan handling the sail while Dan gets the hang of using the rudder, and then switching to let Dan get a feel for the sail while Evan steers. When Evan finally decides that Dan's ready to try both, he feels like a kid being handed the keys to his first car. Of course, Dan's first car was the truck he's still driving, and he'd bought it himself, when he was well into his twenties, but… he can imagine how it would have felt if someone had handed him keys as a kid.

Sailing is fun, and Dan gets the hang of it pretty quickly, which makes him proud. Evan sees that, and takes pains to point out that he's in the middle of a huge bay with nothing to run into or go around, but he's smiling as he says it, and it's not long before he moves up and takes Dan's old seat in the bow, trusting Dan with a little independence. That doesn't mean that he doesn't still tense and look like he's ready to pounce every time they come about, but Dan is careful to duck away from the boom as far in advance as he reasonably can, and eventually Evan calms down a little. It's not long until he moves back next to Dan and shows him how to get the boat going faster, taking full advantage of the wind, and teaches him to hook his feet under the hull and lean out over the ocean to balance the boat. It's a little nerve-wracking the first time, but once he gets used to it, Dan loves it.

After an hour or so, Evan shows Dan how to tie the sail so it's loose and won't pull the boat anywhere, and they both take a break, shifting onto the wide, low bench in the middle of the boat. They're still really exposed, and the bay is pretty busy, so there's no real privacy, but there is the illusion of it, and they make out a little, nothing too heavy, just warm and rhythmic, like the afternoon sun and the movement of the boat on the

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

small swells of the ocean.

Evan burrows into his magical backpack and pulls out a couple sandwiches, thick slices of chicken and bacon on crusty rolls, and Dan takes a moment to bless Tia, because the food is clearly homemade and Dan can tell that Evan had nothing to do with it. Well, that's not true, he guesses. Evan had gone to the trouble of asking for them. There are a couple of beers, too, kept cool with an ice pack, and Evan hands one to him almost furtively. "Technically, not allowed," he confesses, but then shrugs. "I don't think one beer will be a problem."

So they eat, and make out a little more, and then it's back to the sailing, with Evan setting tasks for Dan, giving pointers, and only teasing a little when Dan messes up. Dan's lost track of the time when Evan sighs and looks at his watch. "We should probably head in pretty soon. There's usually a bit of a traffic jam at the dock, people trying to get home in time for dinner— we should either go now to miss it or be prepared to stay out here another few hours, and I'm not sure the weather's going to hold." He smiles shyly. "And I want your first day of sailing to be perfect, not ruined by getting caught in a rainstorm."

Dan nods. "Aye aye, Captain."

Evan grins. "That's what I like to hear. I should handle it when we get closer to the dock, but do you want to take her for a while longer?" Dan thinks about it, then shakes his head. "Nah, I'm good. It's fun, but I kinda like watching you do it, to be honest."

Evan doesn't seem inclined to argue, and they head back to the yacht club, not really talking much, just enjoying what's left of the afternoon. Evan guides the boat into its slip expertly, just the right angle and velocity, and Dan can see why he was the one in charge of that job. Dan had enjoyed messing around out on the Bay, but it hadn't really mattered where he went, or how fast he got there. Bringing the boat home requires a

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lot more precision.

They tie the mooring ropes to the rings on the dock and then Evan shows Dan how to bring the sail down, bundle up the ropes, and otherwise put the boat away. "Like untacking a horse," Evan explains. "Not exactly exciting, but it's part of the deal— and everything will be a lot easier next time if you do it right this time."

When they're done, Dan climbs up onto the dock and is surprised to find himself yawning. Evan notices, and laughs. "It's being out on the water," he explains. "It's somehow really tiring, especially when you're not used to it." He steps a little closer, pitches his voice a little lower and quieter. "You can sleep in the car, if you want… I like being around you when you're sleeping."

"Yeah? 'Cause it's the only time we spend together without making up things to argue about?"

Evan smiles and shakes his head. "Nah. It's 'cause you look so sweet when you're asleep— all soft and warm…"

"And drooling, if you're lucky."

"Well, obviously that's the best, yeah…" Evan nods towards the parking lot and starts herding Dan in that direction. "Come on. We've got time to grab a bite, and then there's a surprise for you on the way home."

"A surprise? What do you mean?" Dan hopes Evan hasn't gotten carried away with something.

"A surprise? A surprise is, like, something unexpected."

Dan shakes his head, refusing to engage. Evan just grins at him, then makes a quick, obvious scan of the parking lot before scurrying over and unlocking Dan's door, holding it open for him and hanging over the top of it with a wide smile on his face. "I’ve got to get it out of my system. After your surprise, I might not be able to do it as much anymore." Dan rolls his eyes. "You're not bugging me, with the hints. I'm not

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curious…"

Evan laughs as he carefully shuts Dan's door. By the time he's circled around and climbed into the driver's seat, Dan is practically squirming. He hates surprises. Or, he likes them, but hates being teased about them. Or something. Whatever. He wants Evan to tell him. But then that'll ruin the surprise, and… "You son-of-a-bitch," he chokes out, and Evan laughs again.

"No, man, it's not that big of a surprise. I'm just playing with ya. It's just somewhere we have to stop… no big deal…."

"Somewhere we have to stop that's going to keep you from opening doors for me?"

"Oh, that… I was just building it up. It's nothing, seriously." "Jesus, Kaminski, could you please be a better liar? This sucks."

Evan shakes his head in amusement as he pulls out of the parking lot, and Dan sulks for as long as he can. The thing is, he's sleepy, and he really liked the sailing, and Evan's kinda cute, with the way he keeps looking over to see if Dan's out of his mood yet. "It better be good, is all I'm saying."

Evan grins enthusiastically. "Oh, yeah, it's…." He catches himself. "Uh, you know… it's okay. No big thing."

"You suck, Evan." But Dan leans over anyway, rests his hand on Evan's thigh, and Evan brings his hand up to rest on top of Dan's.

Dan has no idea where they are, but Evan is driving confidently, and pulls into a parking space on a street that looks almost residential. Dan frowns, and Evan nods. "I know, but… trust me. It's a great spot."

Dan makes it out of the car again without Evan's help, and then Evan lays a hand on the small of Dan's back and guides him around a corner, and then down a narrow passage between two buildings until they reach an

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

unassuming side door. There's a subdued brass sign saying "Andre's", but nothing more to indicate that this is a public establishment. Evan sees Dan's confusion. "It's just that good." He explains. "They don't have to advertise; they get all the business they need just from word-of-mouth." He pulls the door open and his hand returns to Dan's back, herding him gently inside.

The interior is simple, and maybe a bit shoddy, but it smells fantastic. Evan smiles at the man who comes to greet them. "Carlos! It's good to see you." Evan doesn't usually hug waiters, as far as Dan's seen, but apparently this place is an exception, because he opens up his arms and Carlos is happy to move into them.

"Evan, good to see you again. It's been too long." Then the waiter is looking over at Dan, and his attitude shifts a little. He's still friendly, but it feels a bit more professional now, almost chilly. Dan realizes that the man had been expecting to see Jeff.

Evan seems to realize it too. "Ah, yeah, this is Dan— he's a friend of Jeff's and mine. Jeff's in Seattle, helping his mom move, but he's going to be really pissed when he hears we came here without him." Dan feels a bit awkward. They've never really discussed how to explain their relationship to new people, and for the most part, Dan has been happy to avoid the issue, happy to stay home and avoid strangers. But Evan had brought him here, where he and Jeff are obviously known… Dan isn't sure if it was deliberate or if Evan had just forgotten.

Evan's explanation seems to be enough for Carlos, at any rate, and he has a warmer smile for Dan as he guides them into the main room. It's not big, only nine or ten small tables, but they're packed, even though it's still early for dinner. Carlos guides them to the only table that's still open. "Here, you can sit here in the corner and hide your disreputable clothing… only for you, Evan, would we make such an exception."
And that's great. Evan just laughs it off, but Dan looks around and

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sees that everyone else is dressed up, looking like this is an occasion, a special night out. Dan feels bad, for being scruffy and under-dressed and cheapening their celebrations, and then he feels bad about feeling bad, because screw them, maybe they shouldn't be judging people by their clothes anyway, and….

Evan nudges his knee. "It's cool, Dan, he was just kidding. It's not usually that dressy here… everyone's eating early and then going to the opera afterward, so they're dressed up for that, not for this. I've been in here in jeans lots of times."

Dan nods, but he's not really convinced. Just because Evan's gotten away with it doesn't mean that it's acceptable… it just means that he's Evan. Dan puts a smile on his face, though. "Yeah, okay." They're inside now, and it would make a bigger scene if they left. And besides, Evan shouldn't be doing all the adapting. Dan needs to try to be flexible too. Or at least, he thinks he does. Maybe.

Evan's watching him closely. "Want to just go get a burger?"

And, God, YES, that's what Dan wants to do. But he shakes his head. "No, this is fine. It's…." He looks around, tries to find something more concretely positive to say. The room is simple, with plain, dark walls, subdued lighting, tables covered in white linen… nothing too exceptional. He remembers his first impression. "Something smells incredible."

Evan nods enthusiastically. "They just do a prix fixe menu, so I don't know exactly what's on for tonight, but it's always incredible. And I warned them that we need to be out of here by a certain time, and they said that as long as we were here at the same time as the opera crowd, it'd be okay."

Dan's a little confused. He has no idea what a pre-feeks menu is, but that's not the only problem. "Wait. You said we were coming in from sailing to avoid the weather."
Evan looks surprised, and then shrugs. "Yeah, we could have stayed

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

out later, and eaten somewhere else. But the weather did look dodgy, and, you know, it's nice to eat here…" He gives Dan another look. "But, seriously, man, if you're not going to enjoy it, we can bail."

Dan takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself down. "No, it's good. I mean, it's interesting. I never would have known this place existed."

Carlos is back with a bottle of wine. He shows the label to Evan, who nods and smiles, gesturing at the glasses on the table. Carlos opens the bottle expertly and pours as Dan sits quietly. He knows nothing about wine, and doesn't really think Evan's all that into it, either, but he bets that whatever he's about to taste is supposed to be really good. Carlos backs away unobtrusively, and Evan picks up his glass and raises it in Dan's direction.

Dan picks his up as well, but he can't keep quiet forever. "What, no cork-sniffing? I'm disappointed."

Evan shakes his head with a smile. "Nah, that's kind of a myth. Smelling the wine will tell you a lot more than smelling the cork ever would." He leans forward a bit. "And they know me well enough here to know that I'm not exactly up on my wine. If Jeff's here, they let him do the smelling and tasting, but without him… unless it's gone totally off, I'm just going to drink it!"

Dan nods. "Fair enough." There's another waiter in the room now, carrying a big tray covered with smaller dishes, and Carlos is with him, placing dishes in front of each diner and murmuring words Dan can't hear. Dan looks over to see Evan watching him. "They all ordered the same thing?" Dan asks.

Evan grins. "Yeah, same as we ordered… Prix fixe means that you don't really get a choice, you just take what they're serving. It's like to going to someone's house for dinner, instead of a restaurant." Huh. Dan likes that idea; he's not a picky eater, and he wasn't

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looking forward to trying to figure out a fancy menu. Carlos is at their table now, and the plate appears at Dan's place as if by magic. "Lobster risotto," Carlos says, and Evan nods at him.

The food looks okay— just a sort of sauce-y rice, with some chunks of what Dan assumes is lobster. He's willing to give it a try, and, on the plus side, there really isn't much of it, so even if he doesn't like it, it'll be gone soon. He watches Evan to make sure he gets the right piece of cutlery, and then digs in.

It's really good. He can taste the rice, and feel each piece, but it's also kind of creamy and smooth, and the lobster flavor is just light through most of it, with a little burst when he gets a chunk of meat. He looks up to see Evan watching him almost anxiously, and smiles. "It's good…right?"

Evan nods. "Yeah, I think so."

The rest of the meal is a blur of new flavors. There's a green salad, with a sharp but sweet dressing, and then a soup; Carlos says it's a sweet potato bisque, and Dan isn't crazy about soup or about sweet potatoes, but he's a big fan of bisques, he decides, 'cause it's rich and filling and satisfying like soups usually aren't. Then the entree comes, a quail stuffed with foie gras and truffles, and again Dan isn't sure, because it seems kind of mean to be eating a tiny bird stuffed with the liver of another bird, but it tastes pretty good, he guesses, if maybe a little too rich. There's mashed potatoes, though, with some sort of herbs added, and they're fantastic, to the point that when Evan slows down his eating and hasn't finished his yet, Dan starts eying his plate.

Evan's been watching Dan pretty closely through the whole meal, so it's no surprise that he notices this. "Want to trade?" he asks, and Dan grins a little.

"I don't know… what do you want from mine?"

"You done with the quail? I wouldn't mind a bit more of that." "I don't know… I might not be Captain Cuisine, but… truffles, and

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foie gras… those are both pretty expensive, right? And potatoes— doesn't get much cheaper than that. Doesn't really seem like a great deal for me." "Well, supply and demand, Dan. I've got the potato supply, so if it's what you're looking for…you're going to have to pay a premium."

Dan shakes his head. "What happened to you being all chivalrous? Shouldn't you be feeding me off your own fork, and… I don't know, cutting up my meat for me or something?"

"Okay, one, I don't think cutting up someone else's food is chivalrous, it's just kinda creepy. And two, you can have as much of my potatoes as you want, if you let me feed you off my own fork."

Dan laughs. "That's really never gonna happen, Evan." "Well then, I guess the best you're going to get is a trade."

Dan thinks for a second, and then nods. "Yeah, okay… let's do it." He passes his plate over and Evan neatly transfers the quail, and then scoops up his own potatoes and piles them on Dan's plate. Dan glances up from supervising the operation to see Carlos standing by the table.

"Is there anything I can help with?" he asks solicitously.

Evan just grins and shakes his head. "No, thanks, I think we got it." He laughs a little. "I'm never going to be allowed to eat in the middle of the room, am I?" Carlos shrugs noncommittally, and Evan charges on. "Remember how you sent Tia the recipe for the salmon glaze last year? Any chance you could tell her what you do with the potatoes?" He grins across the table, and Dan feels Evan's foot rub against his ankle. "They're pretty popular."

Carlos smiles, although again Dan feels a bit of reservation, as if Carlos is wondering about Jeff. He stays friendly and professional, though. "I'll ask Andre. And, speaking of Andre—he asked me to apologize for not being able come out to visit—he's very busy in there tonight.” "Time well spent," Evan says smoothly. "Please tell him everything

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was delicious, and I look forward to seeing him on my next visit."

They wrap up with creme brulee, another thing that Dan has never had before. It's fantastic, and he asks Evan if Tia knows how to make that, too. Evan laughs. "She used to make it a lot, but… you see how it's all crusted on top?" Dan nods, and Evan shakes his head. "You use a tiny little blowtorch to do it. Tia was making some last Christmas, and somehow Tat started helping her, and she wanted to do the blowtorch part… just about burned the place down, gave Tia seven and a half heart attacks. She's pretty much sworn off making them, at least until Tat moves out."

Dan thinks for a second. "Well, if there's a blowtorch involved… maybe I could learn. Would that be weird, if they only things I can do in the kitchen are microwave pizza and make fancy desserts?"

Evan nods. "Yup, weird. But, delicious, at least the second part. And Tia loves you—she'd probably lift the embargo if you were involved, especially since you'd be around to keep Tat out of trouble."

Dan takes the last bite of his dessert. "I'm telling you, I'm gonna look into this. I could eat a lot more of that."

Evan smiles happily. "So it was okay? Dinner here?"

"Yeah, it was good. I mean… you know, it's… I don't know how much it cost you, and I doubt I want to know, because, really… most days I'd be just as happy with a burger or something. But, yeah, it was a nice change, and interesting." He debates whether to mention Carlos' apparent concern about Jeff, and decides against it. Evan probably noticed himself, and if he didn't, there's no point in worrying him about it.

Evan checks his watch, and almost instantly Carlos is there, inquiring whether they'd like anything else, or just the bill. Evan pulls a credit card out of his wallet and hands it to Carlos, cutting out a step, and Dan wonders if they're actually in a hurry or if Evan is just trying to keep Dan from catching a peek at the bill. He excuses himself to go to the

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

bathroom, and by the time he's back, everything seems to have been taken care of. Again, he's torn between appreciating Evan's chivalry and worrying that it's setting up a weird sort of power dynamic. He figures he can always even that out later, though, so he smiles as Evan stands and nods towards the door.

Dan isn't all that full, really, but he had quite a bit more of the wine than Evan, since Evan had to drive, and the day on the water had definitely taken its toll. Dan kind of wants to manhandle Evan into his bedroom and start evening out the power structure right away, but he also kind of wants a nap. They walk back to the car and Dan barely notices as Evan opens the door for him, just slides inside and waits for the door to be shut so he can rest his head against it.

When Evan gets in, he nods over at Dan's seat. "It reclines, if you want. We've got a bit of a drive."

"And you like watching me sleep… you creeper."
Evan just shrugs. "Yup, that's me."

Dan gives in to temptation and reclines the seat, turning his head sideways so he's looking at Evan. He lets his eyes drift shut, and he doesn't really plan to doze, but he guesses he does, because the next thing he's aware of is the truck slowing down somewhere with a lot of bright lights overhead. Evan's talking quietly into his cellphone, and then the truck cuts to the right and stops, and Dan lifts his head to look outside. They're at the airport, and Dan's first thought is that Jeff must be coming back early, but that doesn't really make sense. And that's when he sees Chris's smiling face standing at the curb.

Dan turns his face towards Evan, frowning and smiling at the same time. "Chris? What's Chris doing here?"

Evan laughs. "Why don't you ask him, dude?"

Dan hops out of the truck, and this time it's Chris who starts the hug,

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although Dan returns it enthusiastically as soon as he gets his bearings back. "Chris, holy shit! What are you doing here?"

"Seriously? You didn't figure it out?" Chris nods over at Evan. "Good work, man. I knew I was smooth enough to keep it quiet, but I figured you… well, spending more time with him, and with the pillow talk… I figured you'd crack."

Evan shakes his head seriously. "That's the first thing you're going to have to learn about me, man… I'm excellent under pressure." "Good to know, boss."

Dan is looking back and forth between them with growing chagrin. "What? 'Boss'? Shit, Chris, did you take the job?" Chris raises his eyebrows in agreement, and Dan hits him on the shoulder. Hard. "You fucker! I talked to you three days ago, and you said you were still thinking about it! How the hell long have you been lying to me?"

Chris is trying to pretend his shoulder isn't sore, but he finds time to answer. "Ease off, slugger." He takes a step sideways until he's hiding behind Evan, and then peeks out. "A little while…." Dan's jaw drops, and Chris laughs. "But, you know, it's not like I wasn't thinking about it… I was just thinking about how to do the job, not whether to take the job…." He sees that Dan's looking for an actual number. "Less than a week, dude. The case I was on wrapped up, and I started looking around for the next project, and nothing really caught my attention, and the firm's been laying people off and they were about to do another round, and I just figured, better me than somebody with a family to support. And Evan said I could stay at his guesthouse until I found somewhere to live, so it's not like I needed to worry about that."

Dan's a little blown away. "Holy shit. It's… it's lucky I'm glad to see you, or I'd be totally pissed off." His eyes shift to Evan. "And you! What the fuck? You can't lie to me this afternoon in order to pretend that there's no big surprise, but you can lie to me for a whole week about whether my

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

best friend is moving out and working for you? How does that work?"

Evan is clearly pleased with himself. "The ways of deception are not simple, grasshopper." He takes a step closer, bends a little to look into Dan's eyes. "You're not really pissed, are you? We just… we wanted to surprise you." Evan shrugs. "Chris said you'd be pissy about it, but I didn't think you'd mind. And he seemed to think that it would be funny if you got mad, so…."

Dan's still digesting. "Jeff knew?"

Evan nods. "Yeah. He said we should tell you. And he doesn't have my deceptive skills, so that's why you haven't seen much of him for the last few days."

"I thought he was busy getting ready for his mom to arrive." Dan thinks back. "And, fuck, I thought you were being weird because of the stupid date!" He looks down at himself. "I can't believe I bought a new shirt."

Chris takes a cautious step forward. "It's a really nice shirt, Danny…." He steps back when Dan glares at him. "Okay, too soon."

Dan doesn't want to prove Chris right by being pissy, but he also doesn't want to prove Evan right by not being pissy. And damn it, he doesn't like it when people lie to him, even if it's just for a joke. And he's not altogether comfortable with this new bond between Chris and Evan, with them having secrets together, and Chris staying at Evan's house. Okay, the guest house, and it hasn't really been used much as the love nest, so it's not like it doesn't make sense for Chris to be there. And it is really good to see Chris, and it'll be great to be living near him again….

He sighs, and nods towards a pack of bags near where Chris had been standing. "Is that your stuff?" Chris nods cautiously, as if he's worried that Dan might be about to grab it and toss it into traffic. Instead, Dan walks over and heaves one of the duffels to his shoulder. "Jesus, Chris, did you move ALL your stuff by plane? Could you not wait the four

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

days to ship it overland?"

Chris smiles cautiously. "There's more coming. We aren't all natural nomads, Dan… some of us actually accumulate belongings." He quickly ducks his head. "Not that it's not very impressive to me, the way you've managed to remove yourself from petty concerns about material goods. Certainly an attitude that I could learn from."

"Shut up, Chris." He moves to the back of the Cherokee and tries to open the hatch, only to fiind it locked. He glares at Evan, who hurries over to help. When Evan's close, Dan growls, "Just unlock it, don't fucking open it for me."

Evan nods obediently, and once the door is open, he swings Chris's bag inside and goes back for another. He wishes they were heavier, so he could burn off a little more energy with lifting them.

This time, Chris and Evan both grab bags too, and that means there are none left, which means that there's no reason to hang around the airport anymore. Dan can tell that Chris and Evan are exchanging looks behind his back, maybe even mouthing words to each other, but he tries to ignore them.

Evan slams the hatch shut and heads around to the driver's side while Dan and Chris do an awkward dance to get to the curb-side doors. Dan comes out in front, but Chris grabs his arm.

"You about done, Dan?" he asks, his voice quiet and carefully neutral.

"I'll let you know."

"Yeah, but don't make it much longer. Evan's starting to really feel bad, and he totally was just trying to give you a nice surprise." Dan pauses, then pulls his arm away and goes up to the front of the car. He thinks about making Chris sit in front so he could continue his sulk in the back, but it seems a bit too petty. His hand feels weird on the door handle,

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

and he wonders just how long it's been since he opened his own door to this vehicle.

Evan's looking straight ahead, and once the doors are shut, he keeps his voice light as he asks, "Are we ready to go?" No one objects, so he pulls out into traffic.

They drive quietly for a while, Evan concentrating perhaps more than necessary on the airport traffic. They hit a stoplight just before going out onto the highway, and Dan keeps looking forward, but his peripheral vision tells him that Evan looks over at him a little anxiously and seems about to speak, but then turns back to resolutely face front. Dan sighs. His hand creeps out almost of its own volition, reaching over to find its familiar place on Evan's thigh. The muscles there are tight, and Dan rubs a little bit. He's not sure if a thigh rub can really be apologetic, but he does his best. Evan glances over at him in surprise, but Dan just keeps looking forward, and Evan contents himself with laying his hand on top of Dan's and lacing their fingers together. They drive like that for a while, and then there's a disgusted snort from the backseat.

Evan releases Dan's fingers, but Dan squeezes tight, doesn't let Evan's hand get away. He half turns in his seat. "Something to say, Foster?"

"Yeah!" Chris sounds aggrieved, and Dan just waits for it. "Where's my cute little leg rub? And how come nobody's holding my damn hand?" He snorts again. "It's just not fair, is all I'm saying. You were at least as pissy to me as you were to him…."

Dan grins. "Yeah, and you're not going to get the make-up blow job, either."

"Huh. I'm telling you— so far, this whole California-living thing has not been as satisfying as I might have hoped." He leans forward. "Evan, you must know all kinds of hot California women, right? Single, lonely

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women? 'Cause, I'm just saying…."

Dan shakes his head. "No, Evan, don't introduce him to anyone you actually like. His love-life is a path of destruction. Seriously." Chris makes another disgusted snort. "I can't help it if women can't keep up with me."

Evan glances around. "Hey, I have a possible solution for someone who finds himself dissatisfied with women… you know, if you want to hear about it…."

Chris laughs. "What, you guys are recruiting now? Would I get a free set of steak knives?"

"Dude, we don't need to have extra enticements, not when the actual product is this fine." Evan squishes his fingers into Dan's cheek and turns his head so Chris can see his profile.

Dan dodges his head away and looks into the back seat. "Don't let him get your hopes up, Chris… two of them are about all I can handle, I'm really not looking for a third." He nods towards Evan. "Evan, on the other hand, is full of damn energy. Maybe you should take him for a test drive."

"Damn." Chris sounds amazed. "This is just what the ladies at Momma's church warned me about when they heard I was moving out to Cali— land of sin and debauchery." He shakes his head, then grins. "I think I'm gonna like it here just fine."

Dan grins at him, and then turns around and looks towards the driver's seat. "Thanks, Evan."

Evan glances at him in surprise. "Huh? What for?" He sounds genuinely confused.

Dan squeezes his fingers again. "For everything. It… it's been a really nice day."

Evan smiles, then shrugs. "Yeah, I had a good time too. Nice to see

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that we can get along without Jeff."

Dan just shakes his head. "Come on, of course we can. I mean… did you ever have any doubt?"

On Deck | Kate Sherwood

Kate started writing at about the same time she got back on a horse after a twenty-year break. She’d like to think that she’s far too young for it to be a mid-life crisis, but apparently she was ready for a few changes!

Kate’s writing focuses on characters and relationships, people trying to find out how much of themselves they need to keep, and how much they can afford to give away. She tries to find that careful balance between drama and humor – she wants readers to have an intense experience and feel drawn into the book, but she also wants them to enjoy the time they spend reading.

Kate started writing in the m/m area of Romance, and she’s spent some serious time trying to figure out why that is… if you’re interested, her reflections on why m/m fiction appeals to one straight woman can be found at her blog (http://kate-sherwood.dreamwidth.org/). Kate definitely plans to continue writing in both sub-genres, and is drawn to YA, as well. And maybe some women’s fiction. And urban fantasy. Possibly sci fi. Thriller? The possibilities are endless!