Mail Order Misfit

Book Eleven in the Brides of Beckham

By Kirsten Osbourne

Copyright 2014 Kirsten Osbourne

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Elaine had spent over half of her life walking with a cane and being treated as if she were made of glass. When she sees no other option, she sneaks out and goes to see the owner of the mail order bride agency in Beckham. She picks out a man who seems perfect for her, and travels to Kansas City to be his bride.

Colin goes to lunch at the restaurant in town to consider sending off for a mail order bride when he notices a beautiful woman limp into the establishment. During his unashamed eavesdropping, he hears that she's a mail order bride who is being rejected by the man she's come to marry. He jumps up immediately and asks the beautiful girl to be his bride. Will they be able to make things work? Or will her insecurities keep them from ever being truly happy?

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Chapter One

Elaine sat at the kitchen table peeling potatoes, talking happily with her family's cook, Mrs. Jenkins.  "I'm so glad Mother left for the afternoon.  If I have to spend one more afternoon embroidering, I'm going to lose my mind!" 

Mrs. Jenkins sighed.  "She's just trying to do what's best for you.  I don't know why she can't see that you're as capable as anyone else is."

Elaine frowned at the potato in her hand.  "It's because she doesn't let me do anything, so she can't see it.  She never gives me a chance."  She finished the one she was working on, and picked up the next.  Whenever she could get away with it  she helped out in the kitchen.  She truly enjoyed cooking, although she'd always had to sit to do things most stood to do. 

"Your mother was very afraid you'd never walk again when you fell out of that tree.  You really can't blame her for being so careful with you."  Mrs. Jenkins had been the cook in her family since before Elaine was born.  "Of course, after twelve years, it might be time for her to allow you to return to normal activities."

"I may never be able to dance at a ball, but I can certainly go for walks outside.  I can't walk for long, but I'm not a complete invalid."  And she was more than a little sick of being treated like one.  Even though the doctor had said it was safe for her to do anything she felt up to doing, he mother still expected her to stay inside and do nothing.

"I know that, and you know that.  I don't think your mother will ever believe it."

When Elaine was ten years old, she'd been a normal, rambunctious girl with a penchant for climbing trees.  She'd fallen when the branch she was sitting on cracked, and fallen wrong, landing on her leg.  The doctors had mended it as best they could, but her leg had stopped growing, leaving one leg several inches longer than the other.  She'd walked with a severe limp ever since, and her mother had treated her as if she were made of glass.

Elaine sighed heavily.  "I need to get out of Beckham and away from my mother.  I want to marry and have children, to do everything everyone else in the world does."  Even though her leg was short, her mind was the same as always, and she wanted to be treated as an adult, not a child.

Mrs. Jenkins turned from the stove.  "You should.  Your mother is never going to let you out of the house long enough to even meet a young man, though.  How can you possibly marry?"

Elaine shrugged wishing she had an answer to that.  "I don't know.  I'll figure it out, though.  I have to."  Getting out from beneath her mother's thumb was the first order of business.  She just hoped it was easier to do than she thought it would be.

The kitchen door flew open, and Elaine's mother, Cassandra Phillips, walked into the room scowling at Elaine.  "I told you to stay in the parlor while I was gone.  Why must you always defy me?"  She turned to Mrs. Jenkins.  "I would appreciate it if you would stop giving my daughter kitchen tasks. She's too delicate for hard work."  Cassandra picked up Elaine's cane from where it rested against the wall and handed it to her daughter.  "Come along."

Elaine wanted to scream at her mother that she was fine, but she knew better.  It was a battle she'd fought for years, but there had been no point.  She needed to do as her mother said, or she would be even more limited in what she could do.  At twenty-two, she had every right to go out and spend time with other young people, but her mother would never hear of it.

Elaine took the cane and casting one last longing look at the work she was leaving behind, she followed her mother into the parlor.

*****

The following morning, while her mother was taking her younger sister, Alice, to her dance lesson, Mrs. Jenkins went into the parlor where Elaine was sitting.  "I have an idea for you," she said, sitting beside the younger woman on the sofa where she was embroidering.

"What do you mean?"  Elaine was surprised to see Mrs. Jenkins sitting on the sofa in the parlor.  Usually the older woman thought of the family areas of the house as places she didn't belong.  She set down her embroidery, happy to have someone to talk to.  Even with two sisters in the house, and two married sisters that constantly visited, she felt like she never had the chance to talk to anyone.  Her sisters were all so involved in dancing and school that she was always alone.

"I was looking over the newspaper last night after my husband finished with it, and I saw something that might interest you."  Mrs. Jenkins held out a clipping from the newspaper. 

Elaine took it, reading over it quickly.  "A mail order bride?  Are you serious?"  The advertisement read, "Mail Order Bride agency needs women who are looking for the adventure of their lives.  Men out West need women to marry.  Reply in person at 300 Rock Creek Road.  See Miss Elizabeth Miller."

Mrs. Jenkins nodded.  "You should go see Miss Miller.  Your mother will be gone for the next few hours, and Rock Creek Road is just the next street over.  It's certainly not too far for you to walk."

Elaine stared at the advertisement, thinking about what Mrs. Jenkins was suggesting.  Could she really do that?  Just walk away from everything she knew and go marry a man she'd never met?  Was there any other way for her to meet a man and marry?  "I'm going to go right now," she said, getting to her feet.  She took her cane from against the wall, and leaned on it.  She really only needed it for long walks, and not around the house, but her mother insisted she use it at all times. 

Mrs. Jenkins smiled.  "Good for you.  I think it's the smartest thing you could possibly do."

Elaine left the house, breathing in the thick autumn air.  She loved autumn in New England and couldn't imagine life anywhere else.  As she walked, she wondered where she would end up.  Where was there a man who would accept a woman who was broken?  Truly, she could do anything any other woman could, but men didn't tend to believe that once they saw her limp.

When she reached the house in question, she knocked once on the door, waiting for it to be opened.  A tall man in his twenties came to the door, opening it wide for her.  "May I help you?" he asked.

"I'm here to see Elizabeth Miller."  She was surprised by how calm her voice sounded.  How could she sound calm when she was doing something that would change her life forever?

He nodded once.  "Come in."  He led her down a hallway and into an office.  "Your name please?"

"It's Elaine Phillips."  He hadn't even asked why she was there.  Did people come in all the time to see about being mail order brides?  Was she just one in a thousand?  Did it really matter?  She was doing the thing that was right for her.

"I'll let Miss Miller know that you're here."  He waved toward the sofa.  "Have a seat."

Elaine slowly lowered herself onto the sofa, resting her cane beside her.  She massaged her leg near the knee where she'd broken it.  It always ached after a walk, but it was a good ache, because it meant she'd done something.  She wished she could spend more time outdoors as she had when she was younger.

After a minute, a pretty young blonde came into the room and sat down in front of the desk.  "How may I help you, Miss Phillips?"

"Oh, please call me Elaine."  Elaine hadn't met Elizabeth Miller before, which was surprising with how close together they lived.  Maybe Elizabeth hadn't lived there for long.  "I want to be a mail order bride."  She saw no point in beating around the bush.  She was there for a purpose after all, and she was ready to get down to business.

"I think I can help you with that."  Elizabeth picked up a thick pile of papers from her desk.  "Tell me why you want to be a bride and a little bit about yourself, and I'll see if I can find someone to match you up with."

"I honestly need to get away from Beckham and my mother."  Elaine shook her head, realizing how rude that sounded.  "When I was ten, I fell from a tree and broke my leg, but it never grew right after that.  So one leg is significantly shorter than the other.  Ever since my accident, my mother won't allow me to leave the house, or walk around or do anything.  I'm twenty-two years old, and I refuse to turn twenty-three living in that house."

Elizabeth peered over the papers at Elaine, her eyes going to the cane beside her.  "Most of the men who want brides expect their wives to be able to cook, clean, and sometimes help out on the farm.  Can you do all those things?"

Elaine nodded.  "I only need the cane if I'm going for a walk.  I can cook as well as any other woman, and I enjoy being able to move around.  My mother would like to tie me up and put me in a glass case, and I would like to have the freedom to move around and do something."  She knew her voice sounded desperate, but she felt desperate.  She had to do something soon, or she would go insane.

"I understand perfectly."  Flipping through the letters, she pulled one out of the middle.  "I think that John might be good for you."

Elaine took the letter and read through it eagerly.  "Dear potential bride, It's hard to know what to write in this letter.  I'm a tall man with dark hair and a mustache.  I own a ranch outside Kansas City, and I need a wife.  My spread isn't a big one, but I definitely have enough to support a wife and family.  My biggest requirement in a woman is that she knows how to work.  I need someone willing to cook, clean and do general ranch work, while I see to the bulk of the ranching.  If you think you're up to the challenge of living on the prairie and helping me raise cattle and babies, then you're the wife for me.  I hope to hear back from you soon.  Sincerely, John Black."

Elaine looked up at Elizabeth and nodded with a smile.  "He sounds like just what I need.  What now?"

Elizabeth handed her pen, ink and a sheet of paper.  "Now you write to him, and I'll take it from there."

Elaine was thrilled as she wrote her letter to John.  "Dear John, You sound like exactly what I'm looking for in a husband.  I want to have a place to work hard.  I enjoy cooking and cleaning, and would not mind helping around the ranch at all.  I have blond hair and blue eyes, and I would love to move to Kansas and help you raise cattle and babies.  I hope to hear from you soon.  Yours, Elaine Phillips."

She handed the letter to Elizabeth who folded it without reading it.  "I'll send this to him and take it from here."  The butler came into the room then, carrying a tray of tea and cookies.  "Would you like to stay and have some tea and cookies with me?  We can get to know each other a little better."

Elaine nodded, loving the idea of having someone to actually talk to.  She was so tired of being alone.  "Did you grow up in Beckham?" she asked.  "I've never seen you before."

"I grew up just outside Beckham.  I went to the country school."

Elaine frowned.  "How did you end up here then?  In this beautiful house?"

Elizabeth smiled and told the story of her sister answering an advertisement to be a mail order bride a few years before.

*****

When Elaine arrived home an hour later, she went in through the kitchen door, worried her mother had arrived home and realized she was missing.  "Is Mother here?" she asked.

Mrs. Jenkins turned around, her face showing her relief.  "No.  I'm so glad you got home before she did."  Elaine sank into a chair at the small table there in the kitchen.  "Let me go fetch your embroidery so your mother can't scold you for working, and you can tell me what happened."

Elaine waited, and took the embroidery when Mrs. Jenkins got back.  "Thank you."

"Well?  How did it go?"

Elaine grinned.  "Elizabeth Miller was very sweet, and she had a letter from a man she thought would suit me very well.  His name is John Black."  She could just envision the man who went with such a name.  He'd be tall, dark, and handsome.  And he'd be thrilled to have her for a wife.  He'd take one look at her and fall in love.  She almost laughed out loud as she realized how silly she was being.

"Where does he live?"

Elaine explained everything she knew quickly.  "I sent him a letter, and Elizabeth said I could have a response in as little as three weeks."  She bit her lip.  "I'm not going to tell Mother about this until I know whether or not I'm going to him."  She said the words hoping Mrs. Jenkins would get the hint and keep quiet herself.

"I think that's for the best."  Mrs. Jenkins smiled at Elaine.  "You made the right decision, you know."

Elaine nodded solemnly.  "I know I did.  Mother won't agree, though."

"No, she won't agree at all."

*****

It was three weeks to the day when Elizabeth called on Elaine, a letter in her hand.  Thankfully, her mother was out for the day, and Elaine invited her to sit with her.  Mrs. Jenkins, who had answered the door for her, smiled.  "I'll bring you ladies some tea."

As soon as Mrs. Jenkins left the room, Elizabeth handed Elaine the letter.  "I hope it's good news."

Elaine eagerly opened the letter and a train ticket fell out.  She picked it up with a smile.  "I believe this means it's good news."  She read the letter carefully.  "Dear Elaine, You sound like the wife I need.  Enclosed is your train ticket.  I will be waiting at the train station in Kansas City on October twentieth.  I can't wait to meet you.  We will be married as soon as you arrive.  Yours, John."

Elaine clutched the letter to her chest.  It was her ticket out of Beckham and her mother's world.  She looked at the date on the ticket and gasped.  "Why, this ticket is for tomorrow morning."

Elizabeth smiled.  "Does your mother know yet that you're leaving?"  Her smile sad that she knew Elaine hadn't said a word to her mother.

Elaine shook her head.  "I couldn't tell her.  She's going to be terribly upset."  Her mind raced at how she was going to break the news to her.  Could she do it?  More likely, she'd have to talk to her father and let him tell her.  He knew just the right way to handle her.

"Would you like me to stay and help you tell her?"

Elaine was very tempted, but she realized it wasn't the right thing to do.  She wanted more independence, and she needed to achieve that on her own, not by hiding behind someone else.  "I'll tell her." 

Mrs. Jenkins came in with the tea and cookies then, and Elaine served them both. 

"I'd like to meet you at the train station to see you off in the morning, if you don't mind," Elizabeth suggested. 

Elaine shook her head.  "I don't need you to do that.  I'll be fine."  She'd never gain the independence she needed if she let other people hold her hand every time she had to do something new.

"I know you don't need me to, but I'd like to.  I like to see my brides off as they leave Beckham."

Elaine could think of no reason to say no, so she agreed.  She hated that the other woman felt like she needed to be watched.  "That's fine.  I'll see you there, then."

"What time does your train leave?" Elizabeth asked.

Elaine looked at her ticket.  "Ten in the morning."

"I'll meet you there at half past nine then."  Elizabeth got to her feet, waving Elaine away.  "I'll see myself out and see you in the morning."  She walked out of the room, leaving Elaine to stare after her.

Mrs. Jenkins walked into the room after Elizabeth was gone.  She looked at Elaine.  "Well?"

Elaine held up her train ticket.  "I leave tomorrow morning at ten." 

"So soon?  How are we going to tell your parents?"

Elaine shrugged, having no idea.  Her father would be easy, but her mother?  She did not want to have to deal with her mother.  "I'm going to go and pack now."  Packing was not a task she would enjoy, but she needed to decide what to take and what to leave behind.  Not everything would fit into a carpet bag or two.

Mrs. Jenkins nodded.  "I won't offer to help, because I know you can do it yourself.  Do you want me to be here when you tell your parents?"

Elaine shook her head.  "I'll handle it."  She knew Mrs. Jenkins understood how difficult it would be for her.  She'd known her too long not to understand.

*****

Elaine waited until after supper, when she knew her father would be alone in his study.  Knocking on the door softly, she waited for him to call her in.

He looked up in surprise when he saw it was Elaine.  She rarely interrupted him for anything.  "Have a seat," he said waving to the chair.  David Phillips was a lot more laid back about her injury than his wife was.  He never tried to mollycoddle her or try to get her to take things easy.  He could see her determination to do everything she'd always done, and he wasn't about to try to stop her from that.  She was a good daughter to him, and he would do anything to help her accomplishing her goals.

"Do you have a minute, Father?"  Elaine was nervous, but she knew talking to her father would be a great deal easier than talking to her mother.

"I always have time for you.  What is it?"  He leaned back in his chair, giving her all of his attention.

"I'm moving to Kansas," she said, just blurting it out.  "I'm going to be a mail order bride to a rancher there."

David studied his middle daughter for a moment, his face unreadable.  Finally he nodded.  "I think that's the best thing you could possibly do at this point.  Your mother is never going to let you get away from her otherwise."

Elaine nodded.  "I know she's not.  I love Mother, but she won't let me even take a walk outside without worrying I'm going to die.  I need to be able to live my own life."  She was thrilled her father agreed with her.

"Yes, you do."  He sighed, leaning forward.  "How can I help you make this happen?  When do you leave?"

She swallowed hard.  "Tomorrow.  I thought I'd have more time after I got John's letter back, but it just arrived today."  She shrugged.  "Mother is going to be furious."  She hoped he'd offer to tell her mother for her, but she would talk to her if she had to.

"Leave your mother to me.  What time does your train leave?"

"Ten in the morning."  She didn't ask for a ride to the train station, because she knew her father would be at work. She could walk.  It would be good for her.  She needed to get used to being on her feet more after all.

"I'm going to make some arrangements.  I'll drive you to the station in the morning."

Elaine nodded with a smile, happy to have her father on her side.  "Thank you."

"Are you all packed and ready to go?"

She nodded.  "I've done everything."  Everything except tell my family. 

He opened his desk drawer and pulled out some money, handing it to her.  "If you get there and anything goes wrong, I want you to know that you always have a home to come back to."

"Thank you."  She took the money from him and stood up.  "I'm going to go upstairs and take a bath before bed.  I know I won't have a chance once I'm on that train."  She limped quickly from the room, forgetting her cane against his desk.  They had moved her bed into one of the downstairs parlors after she was injured, but she still had to go upstairs to bathe.

David looked at the cane and smiled, thrilled to see his daughter asserting her independence and not using it for a change.  His wife had done her very best to smother the spirit of their most strong-willed daughter, and he was happy to see she hadn't succeeded.  Elaine was going to be just fine.

*****

After her bath, Elaine sat in her room brushing her damp hair trying to dry it.  She was in her nightgown, sitting at her dressing table, when the door slammed open.  "Elaine Marie, what are you thinking?  You cannot go to Kansas to marry a total stranger!"  Her mother had her hands on her hips as she glared at her.

"I can't stay here and live a quiet life and never go outdoors, Mother.  I'll slowly go crazy."  Elaine kept her voice calm as she answered her mother.

"I can't let you go!  What if you get hurt?"

Elaine shrugged.  "Then I'll be hurt on an adventure.  I can't sit here and stare at the walls for the rest of my life.  Don't you understand that?  I need to be doing something, and you've shown me over and over that if I stay here, you're not going to let me do anything.  I feel like a prisoner in my own home."

Cassandra looked as if she'd been slapped.  "I've just been protecting you.  When I don't watch you, you fall out of trees and hurt yourself."

"No, Mother, I don't.  I haven't fallen out of a tree in twelve years. I'm not sure that you've even let me touch a tree in twelve years. It's time for you to let me go.  You thought Millicent and Beverly were getting too old to ever find husbands when they were twenty," Elaine said, referring to her older sisters.  "I'm twenty-two and you won't even let me try to find anyone."  She argued calmly, hoping her mother would actually listen to her.

"You're not well like they are."

"There's nothing wrong with me anymore.  I'm not sick.  One leg is just shorter than the other.  I've learned to deal with that."  Elaine sighed.  "I'm leaving in the morning.  Father has already agreed to drive me to the train station."

Cassandra had tears streaming down her face.  "Will you at least promise to write so we know you're all right?"

Elaine stood and walked to her mother, hugging her tightly.  "Of course, I'll write.  I love you, Mother.  I just need to be allowed to live."

Cassandra said nothing else as she clung to her daughter for a moment.  "Do you need help packing?" she asked as she finally released her.

"It's already done."  She pointed to the two carpet bags beside her bed. 

Cassandra nodded once, her face still sad.  "I guess I don't have a choice in the matter then, do I?"

Elaine shook her head.  "No.  You don't.  I appreciate that you care enough to want me to stay, though."

*****

When her father stopped the family buggy at the train station the following morning, Elaine gave him a quick hug.  "Thank you for driving me.  I'll write as soon as I get there and let you know I'm safe."  She wasn't certain how far John lived from a post office, though, so she couldn't say when that would be.  She knew her father understood.

"We'd appreciate that."  He jumped down to help her from the wagon and handed her bags to her.  "Do you want me to wait with you?"

"No, thank you.  I have a friend meeting me here."  Elaine saw Elizabeth waiting on a bench for her. 

David nodded.  "You remember what I told you.  You use that money and buy yourself a train ticket home if it doesn't work out for you.  No need to stay somewhere you're unhappy."

"I'll be fine.  I promise."  She knew she would never come home.  Even if John wasn't what she wanted, she'd simply find a job in Kansas.  She was a hard worker, and she would do whatever it took. 

The look he gave her told her he understood exactly what she was thinking.  He pulled out his wallet and handed her all the money inside it.  "Just be careful."  He was obviously worried about her and not willing to see her work herself too hard.

She stared at the money for a moment before taking it and putting it into her purse.  She might need it, and she wasn't too proud to accept help if she did.  "Thank you."

He nodded, watching her as she limped away, a look of worry on his face.

Dropping onto the bench beside Elizabeth, she squeezed the other woman's hand.  "Thanks for seeing me off."  Elaine had been certain she hadn't needed the other woman there, but now that the time was at hand, she was very relieved to not be alone.

Elizabeth grinned.  "Are you ready?  Were your parents upset?"

Elaine shrugged.  "Mother was, but Father told me that he understands why I'm doing it.  He gave me money in case something goes wrong."  She didn't mention how much money, but it was more than she'd ever carried at one time.  She could live on it for months, and then even get home if she couldn't find a job.

"That's one of the reasons I wanted to meet you here.  If something does go wrong, and you find yourself in a bad situation, don't stay.  Get out.  Come here or find a place to live there.  Whatever it takes."

"I won't stay where I'm mistreated."  Elaine didn't know a lot, but she knew she would never stand for that.  She'd put up with being babied for too long.  Never again would she stay in a situation where she couldn't be content.

"That's what I need to hear."  Elizabeth nodded to Elaine's bags.  "Do you feel like you have everything you need?"

"If I don't, my father gave me more than enough money to get it."  Elaine sighed.  "Does everyone get this type of treatment when they leave, or is it just me because of my lame leg?"  She hated what she felt was special treatment. 

"Absolutely everyone gets it.  The woman I took over the business from had a lame leg as well."

Elaine looked at Elizabeth with surprise.  "You didn't tell me that!"  Elizabeth had seemed to take her leg in stride, and now she understood why. 

"The thing was, with Harriet it just never seemed important.  It wasn't overly important to her, so the people around her never thought it was important either."  Elizabeth shrugged.  "Without your mother around, maybe it will become less important to you as well."

"I hope so!"  Elaine hadn't really thought of that.  She had spent a lot of time trying to prove she could do just what others could, while her mother told her she couldn't.  If her mother wasn't there telling her she couldn't, maybe she wouldn't have to keep trying to show people she could.

The conductor called for everyone to get on the train then, and Elaine stood to hug Elizabeth. "Make sure you write to me as soon as you get there.  I need to know you're safe, and everything worked out."

Elaine nodded as she walked toward the train.  When she got to the steps, she waved over her shoulder before getting on.  It was her first time on a train, and she was excited.

Chapter Two

Colin looked over the shelves in the mercantile trying to find something he could cook himself.  His specialty was beans, but he was so sick of them he was ready to scream.  He looked up at the merchant and made a face. "You got anything easy to cook?"  He knew it was pointless even asking, but he had to try.  He just wasn't sure he could eat beans for another week without screaming.

"Colin, you come in here and ask me the same question every week.  Every week I say 'no,' and you leave here with more beans and crackers.  You need to get yourself a wife."  Mr. Judd was a middle-aged man who had once had a full head of black hair.  It was now liberally streaked with gray and much of it was missing.

Colin wrinkled his nose.  He was tall with dark hair and eyes, and wore his black cowboy hat atop his head.  He wasn't all that particular about what he ate, as long as someone else cooked it.  "I'll be back.  I'm going to go to the restaurant and find myself something to eat before I buy my supplies.  Maybe something will sound good then."  He sighed.  He was tired of eating at home, but the restaurant cost so much.  He felt funny wasting his money on it, but he needed a decent meal for a change.

"Just find a wife."  Mr. Judd grinned at him, his face understanding Colin's distaste with his own cooking.  There were many other men in the area who felt the same way.

"Where am I going to get a wife?  Do you know of any unmarried women around here at all?"  Colin had been in Kansas City for long enough to know there were too many men for the number of women available.  All of the women he knew were already married or else they were older than dirt.

"Well, no, but I know that some men are starting to send back East for brides.  Have you thought about a mail order bride?"  He pulled out a newspaper and pointed to an advertisement.  "See?  There are people who will find you a bride.  You just gotta pay a 'small fee.'"

Colin thought about it for a minute.  "I might buy that paper from you when I get back from lunch, but I'm hoping I can just walk into that restaurant and find a beautiful woman sitting there who wants to marry me and only me."  He knew the other man was going to laugh at him for even dreaming that way, but he didn't care.

Mr. Judd laughed, his laugh deep and coming straight from his belly.  He saluted Colin.  "Sure you will, boy.  Sure you will!"

Colin waved and walked down the boardwalk to the restaurant and found a table in the corner.  If there was a lady to be found in the place, he was going to find her.

*****

Elaine was exhausted by the time she reached Kansas City and her leg ached terribly.  She moved off the platform slowly, dragging her bad leg behind her.  She looked all over for a man, but there was only one man by himself in the whole station.  He was frowning in her direction.

She swallowed hard and walked over to him, stopping in front of him, her hand shaking with her nervousness.  "Are you John?" she asked.  She almost hoped he wasn't with the way he was scowling at her, but she had to ask.

The man nodded, looking her up and down.  "Why are you limping like that?"

Elaine sighed.  She really didn't want to get into a big discussion while standing on a leg that could barely support her.  A hot bath would make all the difference in the world, but she couldn't have one just yet.  "Is there somewhere we can sit down and talk about it?  Maybe get some lunch?"  She'd only eaten sandwiches for days on the train, and she was more than ready to eat some real food for a change.

John shrugged.  "Sure, let's go talk somewhere."  He turned and led away from the station, leaving her to carry her own bags, and not offering her his arm. 

She had lost her cane somewhere on the train, and she badly needed it by that point in her journey.  She limped along behind him and followed him into a restaurant, watching as he walked back to a table along one wall.  She sat down and immediately rubbed her knee.  "Thank you."  She was relieved to be sitting down and have some leg room.  The worst part about the entire train ride had been the lack of room to stretch her leg out..

"What happened to you?"  His face was angry as he asked the question.

"When I was ten, I climbed a tree and the branch I was sitting on broke.  I fell wrong, and my leg snapped in three places.  They were able to mend it, but the leg never grew after that.  It's the same length it was when I was ten.  So now I walk with a limp."  She watched his face, seeing that he was getting angry during her explanation.  "I can do anything any other woman can do.  It doesn't slow me down.  I lost my cane somewhere along the way, and I just need to get a new one and take a hot bath, and I'll be ready to go."  She wasn't sure she'd marry him, though.  The way he was looking at her made her feel like he wouldn't be the best choice for a husband.  She could move into a boarding house and take her time finding a husband. 

He shook his head.  "I said I needed a woman who could work hard in my letter.  It's obvious you can't work."

"Why do you say that?  It's not obvious to me.  I happen to be a very good cook, and I know how to clean as well as anyone."  She didn't know why she was defending herself to him.  She could tell he'd never believe anything she said.

"You lied to me, and I really don't appreciate it."  He stood up and walked out of the restaurant, obviously not intending to ever see her again.

Elaine took a few deep breaths and wondered what she'd do.  She'd only spent a little bit of her father's money, because she hadn't needed more.  Surely there was a boarding house around somewhere, and she could find a job once she had a place to stay.  She wasn't about to go home with her tail between her legs.  She knew she was a strong woman, and she was going to prove it, if only to herself.

A waitress came by and asked, "What'll you have?"

Elaine stared at the blackboard where the menu was neatly printed.  "I'd like a glass of water and a bowl of stew please."  She hoped there was fresh bread with the stew, because that would make it a delicious meal.

The woman nodded.  "Comin' right up."

Elaine was so angry with the way John had treated her that she could think of little else.  She wasn't hurt, because she had no feelings for the man, but she was angry that anyone would treat her, or anyone else, as he had.

"Excuse me?"

Elaine looked up at the man's voice and looked at him.  "May I help you?" she asked.  She really didn't have any desire to be around anyone at that point. 

"Is it all right if I sit here, ma'am?"  He was tall with thick dark hair and big brown eyes.  He carried a black cowboy hat in one hand.

Elaine nodded, not sure what else to say.  She didn't know him, but if he wanted to keep her company during the meal, she couldn't think of a reason not to let him.  "Please do."

He put his hat on one corner of the table and raked his fingers through his hair.  "I'm Colin Monroe."

She offered her hand.  "Elaine Phillips."  As she looked at him, she couldn't help but wonder what he wanted.  She'd never seen a man who exuded so much...raw masculinity as he did.  He made her want to just walk into his arms and let him protect her, which was exactly what she didn't want.

"It's nice to meet you."  He looked at her for a moment as if he were trying to decide exactly why he was sitting with her.  "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with John."

She looked down, embarrassed that he'd overheard it.  "So you know him?"  What else could she say?

"We're neighbors.  His land borders mine, and we share a fence."  He looked at her, watching her face.  It was obvious she was embarrassed by what had just happened with John, but he didn't think she should be.  "You didn't do anything wrong, you know."

"I didn't?"  She peeked up at him through her lashes.  This man, an example of male beauty if she'd ever seen one, had heard another man complaining about her faults.  How could she not be embarrassed by that?

He shook his head.  "I assume you came out here as a mail order bride?"

"Yes," she sighed.  "I'm staying here too.  I'll find a job somewhere.  Do you know if there's a boarding house in town?"  She wasn't going to let him pity her.  Instead, she'd find a job and show them all that she was a hard worker.  Eventually a man would come along who would appreciate her for who she was. 

"I don't know, but I'll help you find one if you still want one after lunch."

She eyed him skeptically.  "Why wouldn't I?" What did this man have up his sleeve?

"Well, I have a ranch, too, and I was just talking to Mr. Judd, the man who owns the mercantile.  He told me I need a wife and was telling me about mail order brides.  I was going to go to the mercantile after lunch and get a newspaper that had an advertisement from some mail order bride agency in it."  He shrugged.  "I think we'd be saving each other a lot of time and effort if we just go ahead and get married."

Elaine stared at him in open mouthed astonishment.  "Why would you want to marry me?"  He said he'd overheard her conversation with John, but if he had, why did he want to marry her?  He'd never seen her work, so it couldn't be that.  What did he see in her?

He smiled.  "Have you ever looked in a mirror?  You're one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen.  I couldn't do much better, and I heard you telling John that you can cook."  He sighed.  "Honestly?  Right about now, I'd do just about anything to be able to avoid cooking."

She grinned for the first time since she'd gotten off the train.  "You would?"  At least the man was honest. 

"I hate to cook.  All I know how to cook is beans.  I eat beans and crackers for three meals a day.  Do you have any idea how tired I am of beans?"  He shook his head in disgust.  "I swear, if I have to eat one more pot of beans, I'm going to break down and cry like a baby.  You don't want to see a grown man cry, do you?"

She chuckled as the waitress set their food down in front of them.  The waitress looked back and forth between them.  "This one bill or two?"

"One," Colin answered quickly before Elaine had a chance to say anything. 

When she'd walked off, Elaine shook her head at him.  "You shouldn't marry me out of pity.  I know you heard what happened, and I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything."  She couldn't marry a man who just felt badly for what another man had said to her.  She had to marry for the right reasons or not at all.

He took her hand in his, holding it tightly.  "John's a jackass.  He's the kind who would drown his own kid if he was born with a hair color he didn't like.  You'd be much better off with me."  He brought her hand to his lips, kissing her fingertips.  "You would have married John who was a complete stranger.  At least you've seen me."  He was very attracted to the pretty girl beside him, and he saw a strength in her that he couldn't discount.  She was obviously going to be a hard worker.  He could see it in her eyes.

"But...you don't know me at all."  She looked down at her stew.  "You must not have heard the entire conversation.  I have a leg that doesn't work right..."  She hated pointing out her faults to the man, but she couldn't let him think he was marrying a woman with no problems.  He needed to understand what he'd be getting out of the deal.

"I heard.  I also saw you walk in here, carrying your own bags after how long on a train?"

"Just over three days," she said, her voice tired.  She needed to walk around to exercise her leg whenever she could, or it just got worse and worse.

"So you spent three days on a train to come and marry the man, and he couldn't be bothered to even carry your bags for you when you got here?  That's not the kind of man a pretty lady like you should marry."  Colin looked deep into her eyes, astounded by the clear shade of sky blue they were.  "Forget him and marry me."

She laughed.  "You don't want to marry me.  You just...feel bad for me."  She was tempted to say 'yes' and see how long it took him to run from the restaurant.

He sighed, shaking his head at her.  "I do feel bad for you.  I feel bad that a neighbor of mine left you in a restaurant in a town you'd never been to instead of marrying you like he promised."  He took a sip of his water, watching her over the top of the glass.  "If you tell me you're going to get on a train and go right back home to wherever you came from..."

"Massachusetts," she said.  Why she felt the need to tell this man anything about her, she didn't know, but she was strangely attracted to him.

"So if you tell me you're getting on a train and heading back to Massachusetts, I'll just walk away, and go back to the mercantile, and write the mail order bride agency and ask for a pretty blond with the bluest eyes I've ever seen.  I'll insist that she's from Massachusetts, and her name has to be Elaine Phillips."  He looked at her.  "Please save me the time!"  He felt sorry for her, because of what John had done, yes, but that wouldn't have been enough for him to ask her to marry.  She was beautiful, and if she could really cook, then he would be in heaven. 

She shook her head at him, laughing softly.  "I do believe you're serious."  And suddenly she wanted him to be serious.  She wanted to marry this man and stay in Kansas. 

"You've never met a more serious man in your life.  Please, let's go see the preacher, and then we'll go to the mercantile, and you can pick out all the glorious food you're going to feed me."  He grinned at her, and it reminded her so much of a little boy she had to laugh.

"All right.  I'll marry you."  She wondered if he'd expect her to share a bed with him, seeing as how they'd only just met.  Of course, she'd have shared a bed with John, so she couldn't expect to not share one with Colin.  Could she?  "Would you...would you expect me to share your bed?"  Her words came out in a rush, and his smile widened.

He tilted his head to one side, considering.  "Well, I'd want you to.  I won't lie about that, but you seem awfully tired.  How about this?  I'll give you two nights to settle in good, and we'll plan on sharing a bed after that?  You have time to feel better, and then I get what I want." 

She considered his words, thinking he was being more than fair.  Her mother, despite her anger, had explained about the marriage bed before she left, so she knew what to expect.  "That sounds fair to me."  She held her hand out to him to shake on their deal.

He ignored her hand and threw some coins on the table for their meal, standing up and taking both of her bags in one hand, and offering his other arm.  They left the restaurant and he quietly led her into a gap between the buildings that was quite dark and not visible from the street.  He set her bags down and turned to her.  "I'm not going to shake on a deal with the lady who is about to become my wife."  He caught her waist and pulled her to him, his mouth coming down on hers, kissing her sweetly. 

Elaine had never been kissed before, and she quickly sucked in a breath as his lips descended on hers.  She'd never even thought about how a man's kiss would feel, and she was surprised at the softness of his lips.  She wrapped her arms around him and clung to his broad shoulders, astounded at the tingling sensation rushing through her body.

When Colin raised his head, he looked deeply into her eyes.  "Not sure I can wait that long, sunshine."

Elaine stared up at him, her tongue coming out to lick her lip.  She could still taste him.  "Sunshine?" No one had ever used a pet name with her before, and she found she liked it.

"Your hair is the color of sunshine."  He stroked her cheek lightly with one finger. "Let's go get married before some other man sees you and tries to steal you away from me."  He brushed his lips across hers one more time, certain waiting even two nights to make love to her was going to kill him.

She laughed, shaking her head.  "I don't think that's something you need to worry about with my bum leg." 

"I haven't seen your legs yet, but I'll bet they're as beautiful as the rest of you.  If you want to, you're welcome to show me later."  He wagged his eyebrows at her, making her blush.

She shook her head.  "You're being very naughty, Mr. Monroe."  And she liked it.  Why did she like it?

He smiled, holding his arm out to her again, noting that she was needing to use his arm to help support herself.  He walked slowly toward the pastor's house, knowing the man would marry them with no problem.  "Do we need to get you a cane when we go to the mercantile?"  He didn't want her to be in pain for any longer than absolutely necessary.

She nodded, not wanting to admit it, but knowing she had no choice.  "I have my own money.  I can pay for it."  She wouldn't be a financial burden on him.  She didn't want to tell him yet about the money she had stashed away, but she was more than willing to use it for a purchase that would only benefit herself.

Colin shook his head.  "You're about to become my wife.  Let me buy you what you need."  He looked up and realized the pastor's house was well past the mercantile.  "Let's stop and get your cane before we get married.  We can come back to get the supplies we need afterward."  He hated the idea of her being in pain even an extra minute.  If the cane would help, he could put the wedding off for a few minutes.

She nodded gratefully.  "Thank you."  She wasn't sure how much longer she could walk without a cane, but she hadn't wanted to tell him that.

"Don't thank me.  It's what men do for their wives."  He pushed open the door to the mercantile and held it for her.  Mr. Judd was watching them with wide eyes.  "Mr. Judd, this is my fiancé, Elaine.  Elaine, this is Mr. Judd.  He owns the mercantile."  Colin's eyes were dancing with laughter as he saw the look of astonishment on the older man's face.

Mr. Judd shook his head as if confused.  "Your fiancé?"

Colin shrugged at the merchant.  "You're the one who told me to find a mail order bride.  I did."  He walked to the display of canes in the corner and frowned.  "None of them are good for a lady."  He chose the shortest one that would be the right length for her.  "I'll make you one just as soon as I have time, but this will do for now."  He hated that there were no pretty canes he could buy her.

She accepted it gratefully, and used it as they walked to the counter, nodding shyly to Mr. Judd. 

"We'll be back for supplies right after we go to the preacher's house to get married."  Colin leaned forward as if he were imparting a secret.  "She can cook!" 

Mr. Judd laughed, smiling at Elaine.  "Well, I think she'll be a fine wife for you then."

Colin smiled at her.  "I know she will."  He paid for the cane and they moved down the boardwalk toward the pastor's house.  Once they reached it, he turned up the path and knocked loudly on the door.

Elaine was clinging to his arm with one hand and leaning heavily on her cane with the other.  When the pastor opened the door, Colin smiled at the older man.  "Pastor Samuels?  We'd like to get married."

Pastor Samuels looked at Elaine with a smile.  "Come in!"  He opened the door wide, stepping aside for them to walk in. 

Elaine saw by the look in the pastor's eyes that he noticed her limp, but he said nothing.  Once they were both inside, Colin set her bags down and they stood before the preacher who, after asking her name, invited his wife into the room to witness the ceremony. 

Elaine was surprised by how quickly it went.  One minute she was stepping off the train to marry John, and the next thing she knew, she was marrying Colin.  She knew she'd gotten the better man, not only by how he treated her, but by how he treated others. She'd noticed that John didn't seem to look at anyone, and people tended to give him a wide berth.  Everyone seemed to smile and wave at Colin as if they all knew him and respected him.  She was pleased that she'd done so well for herself after all.

When the pastor said they were husband and wife, Colin pulled her to him and kissed her sweetly, just barely brushing his lips across hers.  Elaine wanted more, but she didn't know quite what more she wanted.

Colin pressed some money into the pastor's hand, and they walked to the street and stopped at his wagon to put her bags in the back.  "I should have put them there when we passed a little while back, but I was too excited about marrying you."  He waggled his eyebrows at her.  "Being with such a beautiful woman seems to steal my senses away."

She blushed, watching the way the shirt he wore stretched taut across the muscles of his back.  He was a very handsome man, and she still couldn't quite figure out why he'd chosen her for his wife and not someone else.

"Do you need to rest in the wagon for a moment before we shop?" he asked quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear, because he could tell it embarrassed her when attention was drawn to her infirmity.

She shook her head.  "No, let's just get it done, and then we can go home."  It felt strange calling a house she'd never seen home, but it was the only place she had now.  He led her into the store again, and she looked around.  "I don't know what you already have."  How could she buy supplies when she couldn't take inventory?  She didn't know what pots, pans, or cooking utensils he had.  She wanted to just go back to the house so she could look around and come back the following day, but she had a feeling that wouldn't go over well.

Mr. Judd walked over, shaking his head.  "You don't need to worry about that.  He has nothing but beans in his house.  I know because I'm the one he buys everything from, and he never buys anything but beans and crackers."

Elaine bit her lip to keep from laughing.  "He's already told me he doesn't ever want to eat beans again, so we'd better start from scratch."  She simply had to point to something and Colin would place it on the counter for her.  They had a huge pile of goods by the time they were ready to leave.  Finally she looked at him.  "Do you have pots and pans and dishes?  Or do we need to get those as well?"

He shrugged.  "I have some."  He had no idea what she needed so he didn't know how to tell her what he had.

"Do you have a bread pan?  A big pot for soups and stews?" 

"I think I have a bread pan, and I know I have a big pot, cuz that's what I use for my beans."

Mr. Judd put a large box filled with bake ware on the counter.  "Don't let him fool you, Mrs. Monroe.  He has nothing."

Elaine looked at Colin with one eyebrow raised.  He shrugged like a child, obviously having no idea what he had.  She sighed.  "We'll take that as well."  She smiled at him.  "Do you have curtains?  Table clothes?"  The picture she was getting in her mind of his house was something completely bare and hardly livable.

He shook his head.  "I've never really needed them."

"I'm going to buy fabric to make them with my own money," she told him, walking to the fabric and picking out some pretty blue gingham.  "You obviously don't care about them, and I do."  She needed her home to be a place she'd be happy to entertain in, even if she didn't know anyone.

After she'd carried the bolt of fabric to the counter and placed it with everything else, Elaine was almost embarrassed at the quantity of supplies she was buying.  If he really only had beans and crackers in his house, all of it was necessary.   She wished she knew if she was getting too much.

Mr. Judd found Elaine a chair to sit in while he and Colin loaded the wagon.  She felt as if she should be helping, but she had to admit, if only to herself, that she couldn't.  She was at her limit, and if she didn't get into a hot bath quickly once they reached his house, she was going to be in a lot of pain.  She hoped he had indoor plumbing as her family had in Massachusetts, but she didn't ask.  She didn't want him to think she was pampered.

"You ready?" Colin called from the doorway, and she got to her feet, moving slowly and stiffly.  As he watched her move, he hurried across the store and swept her off her feet.

"Colin, put me down!"  She hoped no one had seen him.  What was he thinking carrying her around that way?  "People will see!"  She looked about her frantically hoping no one was looking at them.

"My wife is in pain, and if I can help her pain, I will."  He carried her to the wagon and gently placed her on the seat, hurrying around her and climbing up beside her.  He waved his thanks to Mr. Judd and drove away toward the outskirts of town.

She looked around her at the town, noticing how different it was from Beckham.  "How far out of town do you live?" she asked, trying to make conversation.

"It takes about thirty minutes to get home from here, so just a few miles."  He liked how close he was to town.  It was an easy drive when he needed to go, but not so close that people from town were always on his doorstep bugging him.

"How often do you come to town?"  She thought for the first time about how isolated life on a ranch would be.  Would she only see other people one or two times per week?  However it was, it couldn't be worse than feeling like a prisoner in her mother's parlor.

He laughed.  "Every Sunday for church, and again every time I run out of beans."

Elaine shook her head.  "I will do my best to never cook beans again.  What kind of beans do you cook?  All different kinds?"  Beans were such an inexpensive meal that she hated taking them out of their diet, but she couldn't cook anything that made him sick to his stomach.

"I only know how to cook pinto beans, so that's all I've eaten."

"Well, then we can add other beans into the mix."  She smiled as they left the town and she saw the open prairie ahead of her.  "It's pretty here."  She stared out at the prairie and smiled as she saw a river running along the road to the north.

He smiled slipping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to him now that they were out of town.  "I love it here.  The prairie is quiet.  I'm primarily a cattle rancher, but I have a couple of cows for milk and some chickens for eggs."  He shrugged.  "What more could I need?"

"You have eggs and milk but don't know how to cook with them?"  What kind of person didn't know how to cook the food he raised?

"Well, I drink the milk, and I figured I'd eventually figure out the whole egg thing.  Just never got around to it." 

She was surprised at that.  "So what do you do with the eggs?"

"Feed them to the chickens." 

Elaine sighed.  "You feed the chickens eggs to the chickens.  Really?"

Colin shrugged.  "I don't know what else to do with them, and chickens will eat just about anything.  They're like pigs."

"Will you teach me to milk the cows and collect the eggs?  I don't want to feel like I'm not doing my share."  Helping around the ranch was one of the things she'd moved to Kansas expecting to do.  She wasn't going to let up until he taught her what to do.

He frowned.  "I don't like the idea of you milking the cows, but I'll teach you to collect the eggs."

She folded her arms over her chest and glared at him.  "And just why can't I learn to milk the cows?"  If he told her that her leg wasn't up to it, she just might show him how strong her leg really was...by kicking him.

"I don't want my wife to get hurt.  Cows kick sometimes."

"Do they ever kick you?"  She watched him as he answered her, ready to detect any lie he might be telling.

"Well, no, but they're used to me."

She took a deep breath, trying to keep her anger reined in until she was certain he deserved it.  "If you were married to a woman who...didn't have the injury I have, would you let her milk the cow?"

He thought about her question for a moment, realizing it was a sensitive issue for her.  "I honestly don't know.  I don't think I would, but I don't know."

She nodded.  "Thank you for not lying to me about it."

He turned to her, kissing her forehead.  "I will never deliberately lie to you.  I may sometimes do it inadvertently, but never on purpose."

"Thank you." 

"This is where my land starts."  He pointed to a fence made of barbed wire.  "It's still going to be a little bit of a drive to the house, though."

She looked out over the land, spotting a large group of cattle standing together.  "Are those yours?"  She was starting to get excited.  Cows.  Real cows and she would have a say in how they were raised.  At least she hoped she would.

He nodded.  "They're ours."  He squeezed her tightly with the arm still wrapped around her.

She smiled.  "I'm going to need a hot bath when we get to the house.  My leg isn't going to hold up for much longer if I don't get one."  She hated having to admit to it, but she knew it was the only thing that would make it so she could cook even one meal that evening.

Colin frowned.  "I have a pump in the kitchen, and we'll need to heat up the water.  I can do that for you while you rest if need be."  He hated that she was in pain and was willing to do anything he could to help her.

Elaine shook her head.  "Sitting in the wagon on the way out will be enough rest.  I'll put the supplies away while I heat the water.  You can go out and work."  She hoped he'd listen to her, because she really didn't want to have to take a bath in front of him.

He grinned.  "I don't mind.  I'll even soap your back for you if you need me to."

She blushed.  "I don't think that will be necessary."  She knew she'd wasted a lot of his time that day.  "How late do you usually work?"

He shrugged.  "It really depends on the day.  I like to have supper around five or six if I can make that happen."  He'd never been good about being on a routine, but he liked the idea of a wife helping him to stick to one.

She nodded.  "I can definitely help you with that."  She saw a small house in the distance.  It was made of wood, and much smaller than what she'd grown up in, but she'd had four sisters, and there had been servants everywhere.  It would be just the two of them.  "Do you have a family?" she asked.

He pulled up in front of the house and walked around to help her down.  "I do.  They're all back East, though.  My parents are still in North Carolina, and my brothers and sisters are scattered all over.  One brother is in Maine, another in Kentucky.  My sisters stayed close to home, though."

"I never thought to ask.  How old are you?"  She couldn't believe she didn't know the age of her own husband.  What kind of wife didn't know that?

"I'm twenty-eight.  I moved out here when I was twenty-one."  He started carrying things into the house while she walked inside and looked around.  It was very small, but it would be cozy.  There was a big room at the front of the house that served as kitchen, living area, and dining room all at once. 

There was a small bedroom at the back of the house with a bed big enough for two people, but just barely.  Where would she sleep?  He'd promised her two nights.  She bit her lip, trying not to fret over the inconsequential detail.  She could see the outhouse out one of the windows, and that answered her question about whether there was an indoor bathroom.  Apparently, she would be going outside to attend to her needs.  That was one thing she would really miss, she knew.  A bathroom was something she'd always had back in Beckham.

She hurried to the basin and pumped water into a large pot, putting it on the stove.  She peeked into the stove and saw that the fire needed to be started.  Knowing there was no way she could manage to kneel down to do it, she waited for him to bring in a load of supplies.  "Would you mind starting a fire for me?"

His eyes widened with understanding.  "Oh, I wouldn't mind at all."  He carried a few logs of wood over from the box next to the front door, frowning as he looked at it.  He kept it there because it was easier to carry the wood to just inside the door, but he could see it would need to be moved.  Her convenience was so much more important than his.  He knelt down and started the fire, getting to his feet.  "Anything else?"

She shook her head, touching his shoulder.  "Thank you for helping me."  She walked to the work table and put away some of the supplies they'd purchased, trying to decide what she would cook for their supper.  "I won't always be so helpless."

He stared at her in surprise.  "You're not helpless at all.  You helped me with purchasing things in town.  You've done everything I expected of you.  In fact, I think you should sit down and let me heat the water.  You can put the supplies away after your bath."

She shook her head.  "I'm strong.  I can do this."  She wouldn't let her new husband down on her first day of marriage.  She couldn't do that to either of them.

He brought in the tin tub from where it was resting up against the side of the house.  "Why did you come here as a mail order bride?  Why not stay back East?"  He glanced at her as he asked.

She flushed, not wanting to answer him, but not willing to lie to him either.  "From the time I broke my leg, my mother has treated me like an invalid.  If I so much as walked into the kitchen to sit at the table and peel potatoes for our supper, she'd become angry and make me go back to the parlor to do embroidery.  I was allowed out of the house to go to church, but she stayed beside me.  She wouldn't let me wander around and talk to the other young people.  I've pretty much been a prisoner for the past twelve years.

"Our family's cook, Mrs. Jenkins, saw an ad for a mail order bride, and she brought it to me, knowing it may be the only way I would ever get out from under my mother's thumb.  I loved the idea, and jumped at the chance.  I didn't tell my parents that I'd sent the letter off until the day before I was to leave Beckham, though, because I knew my mother would do everything she could to keep me from leaving."

He looked at her with surprise.  "But you left anyway?"  She had to be strong-willed to go against her mother that way and strike out on her own.  He was very impressed, because he knew few women who could do that.

"I had to.  I talked to my father and told him, and he dealt with my mother.  He said he thought it would be the only way I would ever find happiness."

Colin walked across the room to her and pulled her into his arms, holding her close to him.  "I can't promise that I'll always be easy to live with, or that I'll be the best husband in the world, but I do promise that I will not keep you from doing things you're perfectly capable of doing."  He kissed the top of her head as he held her.

She smiled against his shirt, inhaling his scent.  "I think I was meant to marry you.  John wasn't ever meant to be my husband."  Apparently, John wasn't meant to be anyone's husband.

He laughed.  "I hope you still feel that way after our first argument."

She looked at him in surprise.  "Are we going to argue?"  Her parents hadn't really argued much, because her father hadn't allowed it.

Colin shrugged.  "I come from a long line of hard-headed argumentative people.  If we don't fight, I'm not sure that I'll feel like I'm really married."

She laughed.  "My parents never fought.  They had discussions.  Mother told father how she thought things should be and he either said yes or no.  That was the end of it." 

"Elaine, I'm not your boss.  I believe marriage is an equal partnership.  If you don't like something, you need to tell me.  Your opinion will always matter to me."

She nodded smiling.  "My water's boiling."  She rushed to the stove and picked up a towel, carrying the pot to the tub and pouring it in.  She refilled the pot and started the process again, knowing it would be faster this time, because the stove was already hot.

"I'll carry in the rest of the things," he told her.  He couldn't think about her bathing in his kitchen.  He so badly wanted to stay there and watch her bathe, that he knew he needed to just get out.

She had the tub full by the time he had everything they'd purchased scattered between the work table and the table.  "I'll probably just cook something simple for supper," she said.  "I'll be able to do a lot more tomorrow.  I'm not always this worthless."

Colin shook his head.  "You're not worthless to me."  He walked out the door and unhitched the wagon, getting his favorite riding horse from the stall.  He needed to go mend some fences for a while so he wouldn't think about his beautiful wife getting naked in his kitchen.

Chapter Three

By the time Colin was home for supper, she'd done up the dishes he had in the sink, put all the food away, and cooked pancakes with the bacon they'd purchased at the store.  She was pouring milk into two glasses when he walked in, her hair was still damp in the long braid she had it in that went all the way down her back.

He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and took one of the chairs.  She put the pancakes and bacon on the table, along with fresh maple syrup, and sat across from him.  There was no butter to be found, so she knew she'd need to churn some the next day.  There was a lot of work to be done, but nothing she couldn't handle. 

"Is there anything special you want me to do around the house before I do a deep cleaning and start sewing curtains and tablecloths?"

He shook his head, watching her closely.  He could see she'd done a lot of cleaning, and she didn't look like she was any more tired or limping any worse than she had earlier in the day.  "Not a thing.  You've done a good job on the house."

Elaine smiled.  "It was fun cleaning something that's mine."  She poured some syrup over her pancakes and handed the bottle to him.  He poured his own.  "Will you say our blessing for us?"

He took her hand in his and quietly prayed over their food.  "You need to let me know if you want to cook anything special.  I can kill a deer or one of the pullets.  I don't mind hunting for you."  He liked the idea of seeing her in the kitchen cooking meat he'd killed with his own hands.  It made him feel like a good provider.

She shook her head.  "Not just yet.  We have the salt pork we bought today, and there's plenty of bacon.  Between those things and the vegetables, we'll be set for a while."  She took a bite of her pancakes.  "How often do you usually butcher cattle?"

He shrugged.  "I never have, but most ranchers tend to do one every fall and every spring.  I raise mine and sell them.  Now that I have a wife, I'll start butchering them on occasion as well.  It would be nice to have them to eat. They keep for a while in the cellar, and then we'll have to cure it.  I'll try to get meat all through the winter."  He was looking forward to eating more than beans through the winter, and he smiled at Elaine, thrilled that she would be there to share meals with him, good meals that he hadn't cooked.

"I'd appreciate that.  I'm not the most creative cook, because I don't have a lot of experience, but I do like to experiment with food.  I think I should be able to cook just about anything you bring me."  She was confident in her abilities because of the hours she'd spent working with Mrs. Jenkins in the kitchen while her mother had been out of the house.

"I'll enjoy testing you on that."  He grinned.  "Come spring, we'll put in a kitchen garden so we won't have to buy everything from the mercantile."  He could just picture them working together to put in a garden.  He loved the idea of working together on just about anything, especially making babies.

She smiled.  "I'd like that a lot.  My mother was always worried about letting me go outdoors.  When I was a girl, all I did was run and play, and after I hurt myself, I wasn't allowed to do anything.  The doctors kept telling her that I'd be better off if she let me get fresh air and keep my muscles built up, but she would never listen."  She sighed and shook her head.  "She really acted like I was a broken doll after it happened."

"We'll do it together."  He felt a great deal of anger toward her mother, even though he understood she was just trying to protect Elaine.  She'd obviously done a great deal to break his wife's spirit while she'd been working to keep her from hurting herself.

"Thank you."  She knew he would find it odd that she was thanking him, but she didn't care.  She finally felt like someone had some confidence in her, and it meant everything in the world to her.

After they finished eating, he dried the dishes while she washed them.  "You don't have to help me with the dishes," she protested.  She hated that he was helping with a job that should be hers.  He couldn't work all day on the ranch and come home and do her chores at night.  She needed to be a helper to him not a burden.

"I won't most nights.  Tonight, you're really hurting, though.  I don't know if it's a normal thing or because of the walking we did or the long ride on the train.  Whatever reason, I'm not going to make you stand here alone to do them."  Colin reached for another dish and dried it.  He didn't care if she argued with him.  He wouldn't feel truly married until they'd survived their first argument anyway.

Elaine wanted to argue, but she swallowed hard instead.  He was right.  "Thank you."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek.  "You're very welcome." 

Once the dishes were done, he looked around for a moment.  "I'm not sure where I'm going to sleep tonight.  I guess I can find some blankets and make a pallet on the floor.  I don't have my winter quilt out yet."  He looked a little lost as he said the words.

Elaine bit her lip.  "I wouldn't mind if we shared the bed.  Just...so you don't have to sleep on the floor."  She looked at the floor in embarrassment.  "I'm probably too sore to do anything, though."  She couldn't make him sleep on the floor.  It was his bed after all, and she couldn't do that to him.

He smiled at her.  "I appreciate that.  I'll do my best to keep my hands to myself."

She limped into the bedroom and looked at the bed that hadn't been made yet that day.  The sheets and blankets needed to be washed, but that would have to wait until tomorrow.  She could see now why John had rejected her.  There was a lot of work to be done, and she really may not be able to do it all.  Squaring her shoulders, she held her head up.  She'd do it, and she'd do it so well, no one would know what happened to them.

She smoothed the covers, looking over her shoulder at him.  "Would you bring my bags in so I can change for bed?"  She hated asking him to do anything else, but her leg would barely make it to the outhouse and back.  Colin rushed from the room and came back with both of her bags.  When she looked at him waiting for him to leave, he just looked back at her.  Finally she sighed.  "I'm not going to change in front of you."  She felt like she was a mother scolding her child as she told him.  He should know better.

He shrugged.  "I don't see why not.  We're married, and I'm going to see you with no clothes on eventually."  He watched her expectantly.

She folded her arms over her chest and glared at him.  "Eventually is not right this minute.  Please go find something to do while I get ready for bed."

He walked closer to her and took her by the shoulders, turning her so her back was to him.  He carefully undid all the buttons that ran up and down her back.  "I've wanted to do that all day.  I'll go now."  He walked from the room thinking about the bare flesh he'd seen above her petticoat.  His finger had accidentally grazed it, and her skin had been so soft.  Two nights.  He could wait two nights, right?

Elaine stood with her dress clutched against her chest for a moment.  "What was that about?" she mumbled, before quickly undressing and pulling her nightgown over her head.  She slid between the covers and moved to the spot closest to the wall, thinking he would want to be the one on the outside, and it would be easier if he didn't have to climb over her.

When he returned, he blew out the lantern and removed his clothes, slipping into bed beside her.  He pulled her into his arms, and held her against him, his hand stroking her side through the nightgown.  When she started to protest, he said, "I'm not going to do any more than kiss you and touch you.  I promise." He couldn't lay beside her and not kiss her though.  He felt he'd die if he couldn't touch her just a little bit.

Elaine looked up at him.  The room was dark except for the stream of moonlight coming in through the window.  She could see his dark eyes looking down at her.  "I guess that's all right," she said shyly.  It felt strange to allow any man to touch her the way he was, even though he was her husband, and she knew it was fine.

"If I do anything that you don't like, you just let me know."  He slowly lowered his head to kiss her softly, his lips toying with hers, but not making any demands on her.  His hand stroked down her side, moving to her back and pulling her closer against him.  He hadn't put on anything to sleep in, so he could feel her breasts against his chest, through her thin nightgown. 

She moved her arms around him, clinging to him, her hands discovering his bare skin.  At first she started to move away, but then she remembered his words. They were married, and she would have to get used to his touch sometime, right?  She explored his back with her fingertips, her hands moving over the hard muscles there.  Why did she enjoy touching him so much?

He pressed his lips harder against hers, his tongue tracing her lips, until she parted them and he could move it into her mouth.  His hands roamed up and down her back at first, and then they moved around to her sides.  "You feel so good," he whispered.

She pressed her lips to his neck, her tongue moving out to taste his skin.  She'd been tantalized by his neck all day, wondering how it would taste.  She'd never thought of such a thing in her life.  Why was she thinking about touching him and kissing him when the idea had never occurred to her before.  "I like the way you taste," she whispered as he shuddered against her. 

"You're killing me."  He sighed and kissed her one last time before rolling to his back, pulling her head down on his shoulder.  "Maybe kissing you wasn't the best idea I ever had."  He was panting as he forced his body to calm down.  He had promised her she would have two nights, and he would give her those two nights if it killed him.

Elaine lay for a moment in the darkness, wondering what she'd done wrong.  She was close to tears when she finally asked, "Did I do something wrong?"  She didn't want to ask, but the way he was acting, she knew it was something.  If she didn't ask she'd never know what it was.

He pulling her closer, hugging her tightly.  "No, of course not.  I just...I don't want to stop, but I promised, so we need to just lay here."  He hated the sorrow he heard in her voice.

She thought about his words for a moment, before her eyes widened in understanding.  He was interested in her.  Physically.  She couldn't believe a man could see past her hurt leg to want her physically.  She hadn't believe it was possible.  "I'm glad you want to do...that with me."

Colin looked at her with astonishment.  "Of course, I do!  I wouldn't have married you otherwise."  Had she really thought she was just a charity case to him?  She was one of the most beautiful women he'd ever met.  "Do you not have any idea how pretty you are?"  He looked at her.  "Do they not have mirrors in Massachusetts?"

Elaine shrugged.  "No one has been able to see past my leg since I was a little girl."  She paused trying to think of the best way to put it.  "I didn't just have a hurt leg, I became the hurt leg.  Even my mother never saw my personality any longer, she only saw the leg and made all kinds of rules to keep me from doing any further injury to myself."  She hated it, but it was fact.  He was able to see past her leg, and it made all the difference in the world for her.  Colin was truly a good man, and he'd make her the best of husbands.  She knew it with everything inside her.

"I see you as so much more than your leg."  He stroked her hair as he spoke.  "Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?"

She nodded, half afraid, but she knew he wouldn't deliberately say anything to hurt her. 

"I see a very pretty lady, who is sweet, well-mannered, can cook like a dream, doesn't mind hard work, and who is willing to put up with my ways.  She also just happens to have a hurt leg."  He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.  "She makes my heart beat faster, and I want to carry her off to my bed and have my way with her every minute I'm with her, but I know she needs a little time.  She's worth waiting for."  Whether he liked it or not, she was definitely worth waiting for.  He couldn't have found a girl better for him if he had hundreds to choose from.

Elaine felt tears prick her eyes at his words.  What had she done in life to deserve having a man who saw all those things when he looked at her as a husband?  "Thank you," she whispered.

"We need to sleep.  A rancher's day starts early." 

She nodded, sleepy.  She'd slept very little on the train, because being unable to straighten her leg for that long had made her too uncomfortable.  "Will you come home for lunch?"  How could she tell him that she wanted to spend every moment with him she possibly could?

He nodded.  "I'll come home for lunch most days.  I'll let you know if I won't be here, and you can pack sandwiches or something."  He looked down at her.  "You are asking so you know if you should cook for me, right?"  He couldn't keep the eagerness out of his voice.

She laughed softly.  "You don't like to eat, do you?"  Feeding this man would be a never-ending task, and she loved the idea of it.

"One of my favorite things.  Kissing you is up there too."  He knew that making love to her would top everything else in life, but he didn't say that to her.  He didn't want to scare her off so early in their marriage.

He looked down at her head pillowed on his shoulder and noticed that she'd fallen asleep, her mouth slightly open.  He smiled, happy she was able to sleep in the strange location.  From the way she talked, he was certain she hadn't slept in different places often in her life.

*****

When Elaine woke the following morning, she was still stiff, but her leg felt much better.  She knew she needed to get up to start breakfast, but he was blocking her in.  Biting her lip, she wondered if she should just wake him or try to climb over him.  Finally, she put her hand on his shoulder.  "Colin, I need to start breakfast."  The covers were down around his waist, and she did her best not to look at his bareness.

He turned to her on the bed and buried his face in her neck, breathing deeply of her scent.  He'd be waking to this beautiful woman beside him every morning.  "I'm the luckiest man alive, you know."  He nipped at her neck, wishing he had the right to just make love to her. 

"You are?"  The sun was rising and the red glow of the sky tinted everything in their room a pale shade of pink. 

He nodded.  "I am.  I get to wake up beside you every morning for the rest of my life."

She smiled, knowing he was just flattering her, but enjoying the flattery immensely.  "Very sweet of you to say."  She couldn't help but wonder if he'd be this amorous every morning.

He brushed his lips against hers before rolling away and jumping out of bed, he pulled the clothes he'd dropped the night before on with his back to her.  "What's for breakfast?" he asked.

Elaine's face was flaming red.  She knew she should have turned away from him when he dressed, but she just couldn't.  She enjoyed watching him too much.  "Eggs and bacon?" she asked.  She hadn't thought about what she would cook for breakfast yet.  She was too busy staring at him.

"Sounds delicious!  I'll go get the eggs and milk."  He paused on his way out the door.  "I'll start the fire before I go, so don't worry about that."

She nodded, realizing her nightgown was tangled about her waist.  What if he'd pulled her to him and felt her?  She shook her head at her prudishness and climbed from the bed.  She was going to be sleeping in his arms for the rest of her life.  What did it matter if he felt her naked before the date they'd set?

She dressed quickly in a fresh dress and petticoat, knowing she would need to get started early if she was going to do everything that she needed to do for the day.  Walking into the kitchen she put the skillet on the stove and added the bacon strips to it.  By the time the bacon was finished, Colin was back with the eggs and she mixed them up while he sat at the table watching her.  "Do you like coffee or tea in the mornings?" she asked.

He shook his head.  "Just milk for me."  He didn't want her to think he needed her to do extra work for him.

She looked over at the milk bucket and nodded.  "I may make myself some tea sometimes."

He shrugged.  "That's fine.  I don't care, just so you don't make me drink it."  He liked coffee but not tea.

She laughed.  "You don't like tea?"

He shook his head.  "Not even if you add a whole cup of sugar to it."

Elaine glanced at him over her shoulder.  "Do you have a sweet tooth?"  She liked to bake and would be happy to accommodate him if he did.  She loved the idea of baking treats for him after the kind way he'd treated her.

"I do.  My mother used to say that it was all she could do to keep up with my sweet tooth.  She'd bake a cake, and I just wouldn't want to share even a single bite."  He winked at her.  "I still don't want to share."

She laughed.  "Well, it's a good thing there are just two of us, and I don't eat all that much."  She looked forward to the challenge of his sweet tooth.

"Yup.  It sure is."  He watched as she carried the plates to the table, pleased to see that she was moving much more easily than the day before.  Once she was seated across from him, he took her hand and prayed for them.  "You feeling better today?" he asked as he took his first bite of eggs.

She nodded.  "Yes, thank you.  The bath and then a good night's sleep fixed me right up.  I think I'm ready to tackle the list of chores I made for the day."  The list was mental, but it was a long one.  It was going to be a long day for her, trying to accomplish everything, and now she was going to have to make some sort of sweet as well.

"Don't overdo it.  I don't want you hurting yourself more."  Even as he said the words, he knew they were the wrong thing to say to her.  "Next week, when you're rested up, you can do more." 

"I won't be treated like an invalid."  Elaine thought she'd made her position clear on that the night before.  "I won't deliberately hurt myself, but you have to let me be the judge of what I can and can't do.  You don't live inside my body.  I do."  Nothing set her off the way someone trying to baby her did.  She needed to be able to do what she wanted and needed to do without risking censure.

Her words seemed terribly provocative to him, but he knew she didn't mean them the way he was taking them.  "I don't mean to offend," he said softly. 

She sighed.  "I know.  It's just something I'm very touchy about.  I need to be allowed to live my life to the fullest."  

"I understand."  He wished he could take back the offensive words, but he knew there was no way to do it.  "I'll be back around noon for lunch.  Will that suit you?"  He stood and walked around the table, leaning down to brush his lips across hers.

Elaine nodded, grateful for the subject change.  "I'll have something ready then."  She mentally scheduled her day, knowing she would probably not be able to do everything she wanted to do.

As soon as he left the house, she mixed up several loaves of bread, leaving the bowl on the work table covered by a towel while she stripped the sheets from the bed, and washed all the dirty clothes she could find.  She'd never actually used a washboard and scrubbed clothes herself before, so it was a surprise to her that her muscles ached so much. 

She hung everything on the line before hurrying back to the kitchen to punch down the bread and divide it into individual pans.  After what he'd said at breakfast, she wanted to make sure that she had some sort of dessert for him for supper.  She had the ingredients for a cake, and that would work, but she had a lot to do before she was ready to bake it.

While the bread was rising again, she found the cream he'd been saving and cleaned out the butter churn.  She understood the process of churching butter, and had seen it done many times, but she'd never done it herself. 

By the time Colin came in for lunch, her arms hurt her a great deal more than her leg did.  He saw how she was moving and asked her about it. 

"I washed the clothes, churned butter, and kneaded bread.  It's a lot of work for the arms."  She ached in places she'd never ached before, but she was thrilled, because it meant she'd put in a hard morning's work.

He chuckled softly.  "Been a pampered city girl for too long?"  He was glad her leg wasn't hurting her, but he understood that she would have to build up the muscles in her arms for the daily work she'd be doing there. 

She made a face.  "I didn't want to be a pampered city girl, but I definitely was."  She didn't mind him teasing her, and she was thrilled he wasn't upset that her arms hurt.  She had worried that he would want to put her in a glass case like her mother, but he seemed to think some pain was reasonable and normal.  She liked that about him.

She put lunch on the table, sandwiches made from salt pork and the fresh bread and butter she'd made.  She sat across from him after pouring them each a glass of milk. "What are you doing today?" she asked after he prayed for them.

"Mending fences."  He groaned.  "I hate mending fences.  It's probably the worst job on a cattle ranch, but I spend more time doing it than anything else it seems."

"What about the winter?  How do the cows eat when the snow is covering the grass?"

"I drive out and throw hay down for them every so often.  They don't have to work hard to find their food that way."  He shrugged. "In the winter of eighty-five it was so bad I lost half my cattle, because of the bad snows.  We're not expecting a winter like that this year.  In fact, no one has ever expected a winter like that."  He hated even thinking about how bad the winter was.

She nodded.  "It was a tough winter in Massachusetts as well."  She took a bite of her sandwich, watching him as he ate.  She wouldn't always serve sandwiches for lunch but with everything she'd had to do that day, it had seemed like the only logical thing.

He ate it without complaining.  When he was finished he stood and put his hat back onto his head, leaning down to kiss her.  "Thank you for lunch.  If your leg gets too sore, don't bring that washing in from the line.  I can help with it when I get home." 

"My leg is fine.  Not nearly as bad as my arms are." She didn't add that she needed to prove to both of them that she could do the job.

"Good.  Your arms will heal.  I don't want you doing permanent damage to your leg."  He walked toward the door, stopping with his hand on the door knob.  "I'll be home about five for supper."

"Sounds good.  I'll have something ready for you."  She had no idea what, though.  She'd think of something. 

She found she truly enjoyed keeping the house for him and cooking the meals. Yes, it was hard work and made her sore, but she felt like he'd done so much for her that she should be able to give something back.

She baked a cake, made a thick stew out of the salt pork, and made the bed.  She wasn't able to get down on her knees and scrub the floor as it needed, and she realized that was one thing she may never be able to do.  She wasn't certain how to deal with that.  She could mop, of course, but mopping never got a house as clean as scrubbing it on your hands and knees.  At least that's what her maid at home said.

When Colin came in at the end of the day, Elaine was sitting in the rocking chair hemming the curtains she'd sewed. She'd done the majority of the cleaning she wanted to do, but when her leg started to hurt more than it should, she sat down to work on something that wouldn't hurt so much.

He washed his hands while she got supper on the table, and he noticed she was limping worse than earlier.  Once he was seated, he asked, "Is your leg worse tonight because it always is at night or did you overdo it?"

She sighed, wishing he wouldn't worry so much.  "It's always a little worse in the evenings, but I think I overdid it a little.   I stopped once it started aching so badly and worked on the curtains, though." 

"Good.  As long as you're doing what's going to keep it from hurting so much, I'm fine with that."  He took her hand and prayed for them both, taking his first bite of stew.  He sighed happily.  "This is delicious.  You really are a good cook."  He was thrilled that he'd found her in that restaurant.  John was an idiot.

He'd eaten half his bowl and two pieces of fresh bread when a knock came at the door.  "You sit.  I'll see who it is." He got to his feet and went to the door, opening it wide.  "John."  He wasn't pleased to see the other man at his house, but he knew he wanted to show off his pretty wife.

"I was out chasing down a cow that got free, and figured you were good for a bowl of beans while I was in the neighborhood."  John looked past Colin with wide eyes.  "You married?"  The shock was evident in his voice.

Colin nodded, letting the other man inside.  "Have some stew with my wife and me."  He couldn't wait until John tasted the cooking he'd given up.  He wanted the other man to see what an idiot he was.

Elaine went to the stove and served another bowl of the stew and carried it to the table.  She placed it in front of John who looked up at her face for the first time. 

John stared.  "You married Elaine?  My bride?"  He was obviously astounded that anyone would want her.

"No, I married my bride."  Colin took another bite of his stew while Elaine sat down across from him.  He winked at her, letting her know that he was proud of her.

Elaine's eyes met Colin's.  She was terribly nervous with John there, but she wasn't certain why.  The man was nothing to her, and she'd felt like she had a narrow escape by not marrying him, but he still made her skittish.  Colin obviously knew what she was thinking because he winked at her again, his foot moving under the table to rub against hers in silent support.

John looked from one to the other before taking a bite of his stew.  "I wouldn't have let you go if I knew you could cook like this."  His mouth was full of stew as he spoke, and he sprayed a bit across the table, narrowly missing Elaine.

"You can't have her, John.  She's mine now."  Colin ate his stew while the other man glared at him.  "You didn't want her.  Remember?"  The look he gave Elaine was filled with emotion.

Elaine hid her smile with a bite of bread.  She'd helped in the kitchen more times than she could count, but she'd never been the one to decide what she would cook and make the entire meal.  It was a new experience for her.  She mentally debated whether she should mention the cake she'd made in front of John, because she didn't feel the need to cast her pearls before swine, but she had a need to make him more envious of Colin. 

As soon as she finished her stew, she asked, "Would either of you care for a piece of cake?"  She was on her feet walking toward the work table as she asked.

Colin's head popped up and a grin transformed his face.  "Yes, ma'am.  In fact, there's no need to dirty a knife.  Just bring me the cake and a fork."  He laughed at the look on her face.

John elbowed Colin.  "Hey, she offered me a piece too!"  He obviously wasn't willing to be left out of dessert.

"She's my wife.  I don't have to share the cake!"  Colin smiled at her.

Elaine couldn't help laughing.  "You decide if you want him to have a piece of cake."  She knew Colin would share, but she honestly didn't care one way or the other.  If he didn't want John to have a piece, she wouldn't serve him one.

Colin seemed to consider it for a moment.  "Well, he is our guest, and the first one we've had since we married, so you can give him a small piece.  Make sure mine is much bigger than his."

Elaine grinned as she walked to the work table and cut them each a piece, making sure to cut Colin's piece twice the size of John's.  She put the pieces in front of the men and said, "I was raised to be an obedient wife."  She would obey for as long as there was someone around as a witness.

She ignored John's protests as she limped back to cut herself a piece as well.

Colin waited until she was sitting before he took his first bite.  "This is wonderful.  You could out cook any woman I've ever met."  He closed his eyes savoring every bite.

Elaine smiled.  "Thank you, Colin."

John was still staring at his small piece of cake, obviously upset that he didn't have a piece as big as Colin's.  "Isn't the guest supposed to get the biggest piece?" he asked.

Colin looked at his neighbor.  "Not when the guest was rude to my wife before I even had a chance to meet her."  He wasn't going to give in.  He got the biggest piece and that's all there was to it.

John frowned.  "How was I rude?  She lied to me!"  He took a bite of the cake, obviously afraid it would be taken from him.

"Did you ask her if she walked with a limp?  Because if you asked her that, and she said 'no' then she lied.  If you asked her if she was willing to work hard and cook, then look around you.  She told the truth."  Colin carefully kept his voice at an even tone and sounding reasonable.  He wanted to hit the other man badly, but he wouldn't do it, because he knew it would upset Elaine.

John glared over at Elaine.  "Why didn't you tell me you could cook like this?  I'd have put up with your leg."

Elaine's eyes met John's.  "Frankly, I'm glad you rejected me.  I'm happy to have married the better man."  She took her empty plate to the basin and poured in the hot water she'd been heating on the stove to wash the dishes with.

As she washed them, she listened to the men talk behind her.  "Why did you marry her?  She walks funny."  John kept his voice down, but it was obvious he thought the other man was crazy for marrying her.

Colin took a deep breath as he tried to control his anger.  "She's a beautiful woman who is already proving herself to be an excellent wife. What does it matter if she has an injury if she is a good woman?"  He couldn't believe the other man would insult his wife in her own home.

John stood up to leave.  "I need to get home.  You enjoy your wife."  He walked to the door, slamming it behind him as he left.

Colin walked up behind Elaine and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck.  "I couldn't have chosen a better wife.  John is just upset because he realized he lost out on the wife he really wanted." 

Elaine didn't believe him, but she said nothing.  "I need to write a couple of letters home tonight.  I promised the owner of the mail order bride agency and my parents I'd write as soon as I got here."

"Tomorrow's Sunday, and the post office is closed, but I can give them to Mr. Judd to mail for me.  He won't mind."  He let the topic drop, knowing that it upset her.  He wished he hadn't let the other man into the house, but he'd really wanted to show him what he'd missed out on.

Chapter Four

Elaine dressed carefully for church the following morning.  She wanted to look her best her first time in the new church.  When she was ready, she stepped out of the bedroom, her hair piled atop her head with a few strands of curls falling down. 

When Colin looked up at her, he smiled.  "You look beautiful."  He walked over to her, kissing her softly.  "I'm going to have to fight the other men off with a stick."  He didn't say anything about it, but it was on his mind that tonight was the wedding night she promised him.  He would be able to hold her and love her for the first time, and he was more than a little anxious. 

She smiled, shaking her head.  "You're the only one who doesn't mind getting a broken woman."  She couldn't believe he actually claimed he thought someone would try to steal her.  Obviously he was trying to spare her feelings.

"You're not broken.  You're special."  He pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately, trying to make her forget her feelings of inadequacy.  Wishing John had chosen a night when she was more confident to stop by, he stroked her cheek softly. 

Elaine leaned against him, happy for his comfort when she was feeling down.  "I hope the people in church are kind.  So often everyone stares at the way I walk."  She didn't care for herself, but she worried he would be embarrassed of her if too many people commented on it.

"Let them.  If they think less of you for it, then they're just plain stupid.  You're a good person, and if they can't see that, they don't deserve your time."  He smiled at her.  "Do you want to eat at the restaurant in town today?  That way you don't have to worry about hurrying home to cook."  He preferred her cooking to the restaurant any day, but he wouldn't tell her that.  He didn't want her to have to rush to cook that way.

She nodded, thankful for the offer.  "That would be really nice.  I'd love to make chicken for supper.  Would you mind killing one for me?"  She was used to someone going to the butcher to bring home meat that was already prepared.  Having to ask her husband to kill their supper was a new experience for her.

He shook his head.  "We have a pullet that's ready."

"That sounds good.  I'll make some fried chicken for supper tonight, and then boil the rest for chicken and dumplings tomorrow.  How does that sound?"  She hoped he enjoyed chicken and dumplings, because it was one of her favorite meals and the first thing she'd ever learned to cook.

"Like I'm going to get fat just thinking about your cooking, but I'm not going to mind one single bit." He grinned.  "It's a good thing my job is so physical or I'd be walking around as round as a ball within six months."  He sighed.  "It's so worth it."

She laughed.  "I'm glad you like my cooking.  I'm sure that makes it worth it to be married to me."  She was glad to have some redeeming qualities.

He sighed.  "I wish you could understand that you have nothing to make up for.  I think you're perfect just the way you are.  I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.  I really do."  How could she not see how special she was?

She rested her head on his shoulder, hoping he still felt that way when he saw her bare leg.  She was worried about it, because there were a lot of scars where the bone had poked through the skin.  He was so handsome and so whole that she felt like he'd really settled for someone who wasn't as good as he could have married. "What time does church start?"

He glanced at the clock over the mantle.  She liked that he had both the cook stove and a fireplace, because she felt it made the house seem cozier.  She was used to her big sprawling house in Beckham, but she was quickly adjusting to the size of their small house.  "We need to leave.  I want to get there a little early so I can introduce you around."  He seemed genuinely proud of her.

Elaine was pleased that he wasn't embarrassed for her to meet his friends.  One of her big worries had always been being with someone who was embarrassed of her limp.  It didn't seem to bother him at all. She was amazed by him; he really did seem to see her as more than a hurt leg.  "Let's go then."

He'd already hitched up the wagon and led her outside, carefully helping her into the wagon.  Once she was seated, he ran around and got up as well, driving toward town.  "You don't have to worry about seeing John at church," he told her.  "I don't think he's been since he moved here." 

Elaine breathed deeply at that, truly relieved she wouldn't have to see the man that morning.  "I'm so happy I didn't marry him.  I would have been miserable."  She'd included in her letter to Elizabeth what John had been like, hoping the other woman wouldn't send another bride out to him.

He wrapped his arm around her, holding the reins in his left hand.  "And I'd have been in jail."

She looked at him in surprise.  "Why would you be in jail?"  What was he saying?

Colin kissed her forehead.  "I'd have had to kill him the first time he mistreated you."

She threw back her head and laughed.  "You wouldn't have thought about me twice if I'd married him." 

"Are you sure about that?  When I saw you walk into the restaurant with him, all I could think was that I hoped you weren't going to marry him.  I wanted you for myself from the first moment I saw you."  He shook his head.  "I'd have spent the rest of my life dreaming about the beautiful woman I'd missed out on."

"You did not.  You married me because you felt sorry for me."

He took a deep breath, trying not to get angry with her.  "No, I didn't.  I hope someday you'll realize that I'm telling the truth about this."

She looked down at her hands in her lap, feeling bad for not believing him, but how could she?  No one had ever looked at her as if she was special.  No one had really paid much attention to her except to tell her what she couldn't do since the day she'd fallen from the tree.  She didn't believe there was anything worth looking at her twice for. Her cooking and cleaning would have to make up for what she was lacking physically.  "I'm sorry."

He sighed.  "I know you believe what you believe, and there's no way I can change your opinions of me, but I did take one look at you and know I wanted you to be my wife."

"I hope you don't think that I'm calling you a liar, because I'm not.  I just...I can't see anyone looking at me and seeing someone that they want to marry.  Especially with the way I'm sure I looked when I came into town on Friday.  I was hurting, dirty, and really not at my best."  She knew she had looked pitiful, and she couldn't believe he kept claiming to have fallen for her on sight.

"You were beautiful.  Your hair was falling from your bun, and there were a few pieces that were clinging to your face.  I could see that you were tired, but you kept your head high as John said some pretty ugly things to you."  He kept his eyes on the road as they entered town.  "I wanted to hit him, but I was pretty sure it would upset you, so I kept my fists to myself."  He wouldn't have for much longer, though.  He knew that even if she didn't.

"You really wanted to hit him?"  She looked at him in surprise.  No man had ever wanted to hit another man over her before.  For some reason, it made her feel special.

Colin looked at her in surprise.  "Of course I did.  I was raised to respect women.  All women.  He sat there with the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen and treated her like she was inferior.  Like she was some sort of damaged goods because she had an injury that was clearly bothering her more than usual."  He shook his head.  "I won't ever let anyone treat you that way again.  If he ever says anything unkind to you, I will hit him.  I don't care what you think about it."

Elaine gaped at him for a moment as he stopped the wagon in front of a small church, set the brake and jumped down.  Never in her life had she known someone who was willing to defend her so strongly.  She asked herself once again what she had done in life to deserve such a good man.  "Thank you."

He helped her down, ignoring her thanks.  "You need to take your cane in.  I know you don't like it, but I don't want your leg to feel worse."  He took it from where it rested at her feet and handed it back to her.

She nodded.  "I will.   I know it will be better for me to go ahead and use it."

Colin led her into the church with her clinging to his arm with one hand and holding her cane in the other.  He was pleased to see her using it, knowing it would be better for her in the long run.  As they walked into the church, he introduced her to many of the people they passed.  "This is my wife, Elaine," he said over and over, his voice full of pride.

One lady, close to Elaine's age, stopped and smiled.  "I'm so glad there's another woman my age around.  When did you two marry?" 

"Friday," Elaine said with a smile, while the pretty red-head gasped.  She liked her very much and hoped they could become friends.

"Friday?  Really?  I didn't even know that Colin was seeing anyone."

Elaine shook her head.  "He wasn't.  I was a mail order bride."  She didn't add that she was there to marry another man.  She wasn't sure if she'd ever be ready to admit that aloud.

"Oh, really?  I've read about mail order brides but never actually met one.  Are you happy you did it?"  She seemed genuinely interested.

Elaine looked up at Colin and grinned.  "Do you actually need to ask that?"  She reached for his hand and he took hers automatically.  "What was your name?"

"Rebekah Armstrong.  I'm married to Abel.  He's up front talking to the preacher." 

Elaine looked at the man who was talking to the nice pastor who'd married her to Colin.  He was mid-twenties with short blond hair.  "What does he do?" she asked.

"He's a wheat farmer.  We live just a mile or two down the road from you and Colin.  Maybe we could get together some day.  It's not too far to walk." Rebekah seemed to genuinely like the idea of getting together with her.

Elaine made a face.  "It would be a little too far for me.  I'd love for you to come visit me though.  I could make lunch for us."  She held up her cane so the other woman would understand that she really couldn't walk that far.

Rebekah nodded eagerly.  "That sounds wonderful."  She eyed the cane in Elaine's hand. "What happened to your leg anyway?"

Elaine told the story about falling from the tree.  "It just never grew after that, so my right leg is shorter than my left.  I wish there was a way to fix it, but I have no idea what that way would be."  She shrugged as if it didn't matter.

"It looks like you still get around well, and that's what really matters," Rebekah said, dismissing the injury.

Elaine smiled.  She liked Rebekah a lot and had from the moment she saw her, but her dismissal of her injury made her like her so much more. "We're going to be good friends," she said.  "I can see it already."  She couldn't wait to have the other woman over.

Rebekah smiled.  "I can use a good friend.  There aren't enough women in this area, and it seems as if there aren't any who are our age."  She made a face.  "It's hard staring at the same four walls every day and not having anyone to talk to other than my husband."

"Well, I'm glad we'll have each other then.  How long have you been married?"

"Three years."

"No children?"  Elaine asked.  She'd assumed the other woman must be a newlywed like she was.

Rebekah pointed across the church.  "Do you see a woman around forty with a little girl in her arms?  That's my mother and my little girl, Leah."  Leah turned and waved to her mother then, and Rebekah waved back.

"Oh, she's beautiful!  You'll bring her with you when you come for lunch?"  Leah had her father's blond hair and looked to have light eyes, but it was hard to tell through the crowd.

"I'd love to, and Leah will be thrilled."  Rebekah looked toward the front of the church as the pastor cleared his throat.  "We'll set up a day for Leah and I to walk over after the service."  Impulsively she hugged Elaine.  "I can't wait to spend time with you."

Elaine followed Colin who led to a pew.  "You didn't have to stay with me," she whispered.  "I was fine."  She didn't want him to feel like he had to be with her every moment they were in public.  He could go and talk to his friends if that's what he wanted to do.

He squeezed her hand with a grin.  "I like being beside you."

She stood proudly beside him and shared his song book as they sang the same hymns she'd been singing since childhood.  She wasn't a good singer, but she made up for it with loudness and enthusiasm. 

Sitting quietly beside him, she did her best to listen to the sermon, but her mind was too busy thinking about all the new people around her in the church.  She felt like she was finally being accepted for the first time since her accident.  It was wonderful to have a new home.

After the service, she and Rebekah met up, and she met Abel and Leah.  Rebekah looked at Abel.  "Leah and I are going to walk over to the Monroe ranch and have lunch with Elaine one day this week.  Which day would work best for you?"

Abel looked at Colin and shook his head.  "I like that.  This is what I'm going to do, but you may give your opinion about when I do it.  What happened to the good old days when women knew their place?"

Colin shrugged with a grin.  "Elaine is still acting like everything I say matters.  I give it another week or two before that stops."  He ignored Elaine when she glared at him.

Abel sighed.  "Enjoy it while you can."

Rebekah looked at her husband.  "What day would be good?"  She wasn't going to listen to him complain about her disobedience by the look on her face.

"Wednesday?  And what am I going to do for lunch while you're out running around the countryside with your new friend?"

"I'll leave some soup on the stove for you."  Rebekah looked back at Elaine.  "I swear, you'd think he would starve to death if I wasn't there to feed him every few hours."

Elaine put her hand over her mouth to try to conceal her giggles.  She loved the way the other couple interacted with each other.  "Will you come around noon?" she asked, wanting to have everything ready.

"That sounds good, and you can plan on us staying for a few hours.  I'll put Leah down to nap there, and we'll just spend some time getting to know each other."

Elaine nodded happily.  "I'd love that."  Mentally she was going over all the things she wanted to have done before her friend arrived.  She wanted to have the curtains on the windows and the tablecloth finished, and some nice fall flowers if she could find some.  She would have to ask Colin if he knew where any were.

Rebekah held up a hand in a wave as she walked toward the door.  "I'll see you on Wednesday then.  My mother has us over for lunch every Sunday after church.  It's nice not to have to cook one afternoon a week."

"Two this week," Elaine reminded her.

"That's right.  Two whole days where I only cook two meals per day.  I hope I don't get spoiled and forget how to work," she joked as she walked toward the door at the back of the church.

Elaine looked at Colin.  "What will you do for lunch on Wednesday?  Should I pack you a sandwich to take with you?"  She was more than willing to do whatever he needed.

"Are you saying I'm not allowed to eat lunch with you and your friend?  Are you embarrassed of me or something?"  He gave her a mock frown.

She laughed.  "You know that's not true.  I just don't think you'll enjoy listening to us talk about women's things."  And honestly, she wanted time alone with her new friend. 

She started to bend over to get her cane, but he got it for her.  "There's no need for you to ever bend when I'm here.  It's my job to take care of you."

Elaine thanked him, accepting the cane from him.  Her leg was tired, but it was not terribly painful. She took the arm he offered and walked with him out to the wagon, stopping to talk to the pastor at the door.  "Thank you for your sermon today.  I really enjoyed it," she said.

Pastor Samuels smiled.  "We're happy to have you as part of our congregation."

"I'm very happy to be here."  She squeezed Colin's arm a bit tighter as she said the words.  She couldn't believe just how quickly she'd gotten used to having him around and started relying on him so strongly.

After he helped her into the wagon and climbed up himself, Colin turned to her.  "So how was our church compared to your church at home?" he asked.

She shrugged.  "It was the same but different."  She laughed at herself for a moment.  "The service was pretty much exactly the same, but at home, I always had to sit between my parents, because my mother was certain if I didn't someone would bump into me and hurt me."  She tried to think of the right way to say what was on her mind.  "I guess the biggest difference is that here I was allowed to be an adult, but at home I was always forced to be a child, no matter if I felt like one or not."

"So is it better to go to church as a child or as an adult?"

"I'll take doing anything as your wife over doing it as a child any day of the week."  She emphasized the word 'your' so he would understand that being another man's wife wouldn't hold the same appeal.

"I'm glad."  He kissed the top of her head as he left the churchyard and headed toward the house.  "I gave your letters to Mr. Judd, and he promised to get them mailed off first thing tomorrow."

She smiled.  "Thank you."  She looked down at her hands for a moment.  "I didn't tell my parents what happened when I arrived.  I had never told them John's last name, so I just kept referring to you as 'my husband' in the letter.  I hope you don't mind."

He thought about that for a moment as he navigated the busy roads.  "Well, did you not tell them because you were afraid they'd worry about you, or because you think you made a bad decision by marrying me?"

"How can you even ask that?  Of course, I was afraid they'd worry.  My mother would be on the next train out here if she found out I'd married 'the wrong man.'"  She hated the idea of her mother coming there and disturbing her new marriage.  She knew eventually she'd see her again, but she wanted to be a great deal more confident in herself first.

"Did you marry the wrong man?" he asked.  For some reason, Colin had been worried that she regretted the decision to marry him and not go back home.  He wasn't sure why, but the way she'd acted that morning when he'd talked about how glad he was to have her for his wife had bothered him a great deal.

"No, I didn't.  But my mother wouldn't see it that way.  My father would be proud that I figured out how to make things work without them, but Mother would be crying and begging me to go back home."  She frowned.  "I'm not going back."  She couldn't even think about going back without wanting to cry.  She hadn't realized how truly lonely and isolated she'd been until she'd arrived in Kansas.

He put his arm around her, hugging her to him.  "No, you're not.  You're mine now, and I'm keeping you."

She smiled, liking his possessive tone.  "You don't have a choice unless you plan on kicking me out into the snow." 

"It's October.  There's no snow yet."

"I guess you're forced to keep me then, aren't you?"

He laughed.  "I guess I can make it through."  He stopped beside the Missouri river that ran just north of town and not too far north of the ranch, which was already north of town.  "I love just sitting here watching the river."

She smiled.  "I loved to go to the beach back home.  I could sit and watch the ocean for hours." 

"You won't be able to do that here.  Does that bother you?"  He hated that some of her favorite things wouldn't be possible in Kansas.

She shook her head.  "I haven't gone for years.  Not since before I hurt myself."  She stared out at the water, feeling its calming influence wash over her. "I feel like my whole life ended that day, and I've been waiting for years for it to start again.  I know that sounds silly, but I've been fighting to be me again for twelve years."

"Well, then I guess I'm the luckiest man alive.  I get to be the one to be there as you start to live again."

She smiled as he started the wagon, so happy to have him beside her on the drive home.  He really was a special man who looked at things in a different way than anyone she'd ever met.  She needed him just as much as she'd ever needed anything.

Chapter Five

They spent the day together, because he didn't work on Sundays.  "When I was growing up, my father said that the Lord's day was for resting, and we were never allowed to work at all.  The only work that was ever done was cooking and milking, but only because milking had to be done.  Even when it was harvest time, we took all day off every single Sunday."

"My family wasn't as strict about it," Elaine said as she carefully hemmed the curtains.  She really wanted to have them up and ready to go before Rebekah and Leah came to lunch Wednesday.  "Father never worked, but he had no problem if work was done around the house.  Does it bother you if I sew?"  She didn't think sewing should be a problem, but she didn't want to upset him in any way.

"Oh, not at all.  I just won't work on Sunday other than gathering eggs and milking the cows.  I wanted to explain why.  It always makes me feel a little lazy to take a whole day off every week."  He grinned at her playfully as he sat with a book in his lap.

She smiled.  "I think everyone should take a day off.  It's good for us to have a time of rest." She nodded down at the curtains.  "I actually enjoy sewing, and I want this done before Wednesday.  I can't stand to sit with idle hands."  Her mother had drilled into her from a young age that you use what time you have to make things better.  She couldn't count the number of pillows she'd embroidered over the years.

"When you're used to working, idle hands make you feel a bit crazy."  He watched her as she sewed, wondering if she remembered their bargain, and realized tonight was the night for them to consummate the marriage. He hoped so, because he didn't want to have to try to convince her it was all right.  She acted as if everything were normal, though, so he worried she'd forgotten.  He'd been counting down the hours until bedtime, while she acted as if it were just another day.

After supper, he went out to milk the cows and collect the eggs.  He hoped she'd take the hint and get ready for bed early, because he was tired of waiting.  When he stepped back into the house and put the milk and the eggs on the work table, she wasn't waiting for him in the main room as she usually was.  He smiled a bit in relief, knowing he'd find her in the bedroom.

He walked into their room and found her, already in her nightgown waiting in bed for him.  He blew out the lantern and undressed quickly, sliding beneath the covers with her.  Lying on his side, he pulled her to him, noting that she'd left her hair down for the first time that night.  Normally, she put it in a long braid down her back at night.

He stroked her cheek, his hand going under her hair in the back and pulling her head toward him.  He brushed his lips against hers, gently and sweetly, before smoothing her hair away from her face.  "I love your hair," he told her.  "Thank you for wearing it down for me."

"I thought you'd prefer it tonight."  She knew he liked her hair with all the times he'd touched it.

"I'd prefer it if you wore it down all the time, but I know that's not practical."

She shook her head.  "If I wore my hair down all the time, it would end up in everything we eat.  It would always be in the way."  She kissed his chin.  "But I don't mind wearing it down in bed at night if that's what you'd like me to do." 

"I'd love that," he told her.  "Please do."  Her hair was incredibly provocative to him, and all he could think about was how it would feel against his bare skin.

His lips toyed with hers as he stroked his hand down her side and over to cup her breast in his hand.  It felt strange to have someone touching her there.  Her mother hadn't told her that would happen, and she'd never even considered men would be interested in a woman's breasts.  She thought they were solely for feeding babies.  It felt good though, so she didn't ask him to stop.

"I'm going to try not to hurt you, so you need to let me know if I do anything that bothers you.  You know the first time will hurt, don't you?"

She nodded, blushing.  "Mother said that men enjoy it, though, so I need to not scream and put up with the pain."  She had been mentally bracing herself for days for this to happen, and she thought she might finally be ready.

He chuckled.  "I hope it's not as bad as all that.  Women are supposed to enjoy it, too."  He hoped she wasn't too afraid to enjoy herself.

"Really?  Mother said women 'tolerate it' while men want to do it all the time."

"Your mother...she's not someone I want to meet anytime soon."

She grinned.  "She's really not as bad as I make her sound."  She put her hand on his shoulder.  She'd been wanting to touch his chest since their first night in bed together.  "Am I allowed to touch you?" she asked, wondering just what she should and shouldn't do.

"Do you want to?"  He loved the idea of her touching him, but he didn't want her to do anything she didn't want to do.

She nodded.  "I've been wanting to touch your chest since the first night.  Is that okay?"  She knew it wasn't something she should admit, but she just didn't care.  She wanted to touch him, and that's all there was to it.

He smiled, kissing her softly.  "Of course, it's okay.  We're married.  What we do together is all right as long as both of us like it." 

"So if I don't like any of this, we won't do it again?" she teased.

He groaned.  "If you don't like it after a few times, we'll do it less.  I can't promise never again."  He ran his hand around to her back, stroking it gently. "You want children, don't you?"

"Yes, and this is how we get them."  Elaine stroked her hand down his chest and over his nipple.  When he sucked in a breath, her fingers returned to his nipple, toying with it.  "You like that?" she asked, surprised.

"I do.  I like having your hands on me."  He closed his eyes and just enjoyed her soft hands against him.

His chest was smooth and hard, and she loved how it felt under her fingers.  She felt herself tingling all over as she touched him, and she was growing uncomfortable between her legs. Not really a pain, but more of a restless feeling. 

When she moved a little on the bed, he asked, "Am I hurting you?  Is this painful?"  He didn't know how he'd stop, but if he was hurting her, he would without hesitation.

She shook her head.  "No, I just feel...strange."  She couldn't explain it to him better than that.

"What do you mean?"

She blushed, wondering how to tell him where she felt funny.  "I'd rather not say."

He frowned.  "You can tell me anything.  I'm your husband."  He hated the idea of her keeping secrets from him, and if he was hurting her in any way, he needed to know about it.

"Not this."  She shook her head, refusing to tell him.

"What feels strange?"  He was worried that it was something he was doing wrong, and he wouldn't hurt her for anything.

She whispered, even though she knew no one could hear them.  "Between my legs.  I feel strange."  She knew her face was flaming red, and she was glad the room was mostly dark, so he couldn't see her blushes.

He stifled a laugh as he kissed her forehead, his hand going down her hip to her thigh.  "That's a good thing.  It means you like what we're doing." 

"It does?"  Her mother hadn't mentioned that would happen.

"Definitely."  His hand caught the hem of her nightgown and started to pull it up.  "I want to take this off you." 

"Please don't!"  She couldn't bear for him to see her naked.

"Why not?  I want to see you."  He understood she was shy, but this seemed to be more than that.

"I'm not ready for you to see my leg.  Can you just...move it out of the way?"  She was more than willing to follow through with this, but she couldn't let him see her that way.

He sighed.  "It won't bother me to see."

"Please!"  She knew her leg wasn't pretty, and she didn't want to see disgust in his eyes when he looked at her.

He kissed her softly.  "I won't take it off if you don't want me to."  His fingers went to the buttons at the front of her nightgown which went from her neckline to her waist.  "I'm going to unbutton you so I can touch your skin, though."

The thought of his fingers on her breasts made her tingle more.  "I think I'd like that."  She stayed silent as he unbuttoned each of the buttons, his hands parting the fabric and one of them slipping inside to stroke her soft skin.  She let out a low moan when he caught her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and rolled it softly.  "That feels good," she whispered.

He smiled, leaning down to capture her other nipple with his lips, tugging it into his mouth and suckling her, his tongue moving back and forth against her nipple, causing her to thrash under him.  He released her nipple and pressed his lips against hers.  "You taste so good to me."

She clutched his shoulders in her hands, feeling odd as he rested on his forearm over her, his lips brushing against her bare chest.  "It's so...strange letting someone touch me this way."  Her voice was a mere whisper.

"But do you like it?" he asked.  He needed her to enjoy what they were doing together.

"I do.  I just keep expecting my mother to walk in and tell me to stop it any second." She knew it was crazy, but that's what she kept thinking about.  Her mother would love to interrupt her doing anything she was enjoying.

He laughed.  "Your mother isn't here, sweetheart.  It's just you and me.  Learning together."  His hand went to the hem of her nightgown and dragged it up over her waist, his hand going to the juncture between her thighs.  He moved one finger along her crease, sliding it inside her deeply.

She gripped his shoulder's tightly, her eyes widening as she felt his finger inside her.  Was what he was doing all right?  After a moment she stopped worrying about what her mother would think and just enjoyed the sensations as he carefully moved his finger in an out of her body.  "That...feels nice."

He breathed a sigh of relief.  She was going to enjoy this after all.  He removed his finger and rolled atop her, moving one hand down to guide him to her entrance.  His lips pressed against hers as he pushed inside her, swallowing her slight gasp of pain with his kiss.

Afterward, he laid on his side holding her close, both of them panting.  "That was more than I expected," she said, kissing his shoulder. 

He gathered her closer, kissing the top of her head.  "Honestly, it was more than I expected as well."  He sighed happily.  "How did I get so lucky to walk into a restaurant and find you there?" 

Elaine laughed.  "I'm the lucky one."  She snuggled into him, her head on his shoulder, happy to just be with him.  She yawned loudly, closing her eyes.  Her mother had scared her about this, but she loved it.  Life was certainly better away from Beckham.

Chapter Six

Elaine worked hard on Monday and Tuesday getting the curtains ready for the windows while she continued to do the deep clean on the house.  She kept glaring at the floors wondering just how she was going to be able to handle them.  Finally, Tuesday night, she brought up the subject to Colin.  "I can't scrub the floors.  I'm sorry, but it's one thing I'm just not going to be able to do." She was close to tears as she admitted it.  She hated admitting that she had any limitations at all.

Colin looked at her for a moment as if trying to understand her upset.  The house looked like a completely different place since she'd started working on it.  Everything was shining, and he had good food for every meal.   What was she worried about?  Finally he understood.  "You can't get down on your knees, can you?" Why did she think he would care about that?

She shook her head, one tear coursing down her cheek.  She hated letting him down.  "I'm so sorry.  I wasn't thinking about that when I agreed to be your wife.  I didn't think there was anything I wouldn't be able to do."  She sniffled.  "I hate letting you down."

He thought about the problem for a moment.  He really didn't care about the floors, but it was obvious that they mattered to her a great deal.  "Well, we could pay someone to clean them once a week if you want, or I could do them if that would make you feel better.  I honestly don't care what the floors look like.  You've made the rest of the house so beautiful I don't even notice them."  And he really didn't.  They mattered so much less than how she felt about herself.

She had just finished the dishes and he caught her hand pulling her down into his lap.  "I'm sorry I get so upset over it, but I feel like I'm not living up to my part of the bargain."  She brushed away the tear.

He pulled her head down for a kiss, his hands roaming over her body.  "I don't feel like you're not living up to your part of things.  I have everything I need from our marriage."  He grinned as he nipped her neck.  "I have a beautiful woman in my bed every night, a clean house, and good food for every meal.  I even get cake!"  he was thrilled with her, especially since they'd consummated the marriage.  He found that he was married to a sensual woman who enjoyed their time in bed.  He was more than pleased with her.

She laughed.  "You're easy to please."  She looked at her hands for a moment.  "Would you have a problem if I found someone to clean the floors for me?  I hate not doing it myself, but I would hurt myself and there's no need to do that."  She didn't like admitting that she simply couldn't do it, but if she could hire someone to scrub them for her, then she was doing a good thing for someone else by giving them work, right?

"I agree.  I would rather see dirt pile up on our floors until we're covered in filth up to our knees than see you hurt yourself scrubbing them.  Hire someone.  We can afford it."  He shrugged, not caring about the money if it meant she would be okay.  He'd find a way to make up the difference.  He certainly wasn't a rich man, but he didn't have to count every single penny either.  They could afford the little bit it would cost to have someone scrub the floors weekly.

"I have a good deal of money with me," she told him.  "I didn't say anything before, because I wanted to make sure we were going to work out first, but I can easily use my own money for it."  She didn't feel like it was right to use his money for the floors, because it was her job, and she couldn't do it.  It made more sense to her to use the money she'd brought with her.

He eyed her.  "I don't want you using your own money for anything."  He had married her knowing of her infirmity and accepting that she may need help with some things.  He wouldn't feel like a good provider if she paid for anything.

She sighed.  "I was afraid you'd say that.  My father was worried about sending me off, though, so he included enough for me to live for several months.  What will I do with the money if I'm not allowed to spend it."  She did her best to reason with him, because she really didn't want him to have to spend his money to hire someone to do her job.

He frowned.  "He didn't think I would take care of you?"  He didn't like the idea the older man hadn't trusted him.  Of course, he'd never met him, so how could he trust him?

Elaine shook her head.  "I wasn't even coming out here to marry you.  I think he was worried that John would do exactly what he did, and I would need to find a way to live.  He knew that no matter what happened I wouldn't go home."

Colin rubbed her back as he thought about her words.  "I guess you can do whatever you want with it."  He didn't like it, but he didn't know what else to say.  There was no point in sticking it under a mattress somewhere.

She rested her head against his shoulder.  "It's our money now.  You can use it for what you need as well."  She wanted to share everything she had with him, just like he shared all he had with her.

He shook his head.  "I'd rather you used it for dresses or things around the house you want or need.  I don't need it."  He wouldn't use it for the ranch, even though he knew she would think that he should.

She decided not to argue with him.  "I'll make you some sandwiches in the morning.  Rebekah and Leah will be here tomorrow for lunch."  She was really looking forward to having lunch with her new friend.  She had been excited about it all week.

"I remember.  I can't believe I'm not allowed to eat lunch with my wife in my own house."  He made a face at her that had her giggling in response.

"Giving me that petulant little boy look is going to do you no good at all.  I'm not falling for it."  She got to her feet and put her hand down to help him to his.  "I'm not at all sleepy, so why don't we go to bed?" she asked with a grin.

His face lit up.  "I've been waiting for that offer all day." 

*****

Elaine was surprised by how nervous she was about Rebekah and Leah coming over the following morning.  Everything was cleaned as well as she could do it, and she planned to ask her friend if she knew of someone who would be willing to scrub her floors for her.  She made a cake to go with the tea she planned to serve for an afternoon snack, and fixed a simple meal for the three of them.

When Rebekah arrived, she dried her hands nervously on her apron and looked around the room to make certain it was ready for her guests.  Her curtains were hanging at the windows and the tablecloth looked good on the table.  Colin had picked some flowers for her and they were in a glass in the center of the table.  She made a mental note to buy a vase the next time they went to town.  She liked the idea of having one, and Colin had said he didn't care what she spent her money on.

She opened the door to her new friend inviting her inside.  "I'm so glad you were able to come for lunch today," Elaine told her.

Rebekah smiled, setting Leah on the floor.  "Thank you for inviting us."  She looked around the small house.  "I was never here before, but I can see you've definitely put your touch on the place.  I'm sure Colin didn't have curtains before you arrived." 

Elaine smiled.  "No, he had furniture and a stove, and that's about it."  She laughed with her friend about the difference in how a man set up house and how a woman did.

"That sounds like how my husband was when we married." Rebekah hurried across the room and grabbed Leah's hand.  "Don't pull the tablecloth off the table."

The two women chatted while they ate the simple meal Elaine had prepared.  "I moved out here with my family when I was twelve.  We lived back in the old states before that."

"Old states?" Elaine asked, never having hear the term.

Rebekah smiled.  "That's a term you need to get used to living in the West.  It means all the East Coast states."

Elaine grinned.  "What state are you from?"

"My parents were factory workers in New York City when they heard about land grants here in Kansas, so they joined a wagon train.  It was a tough journey, but I'm so glad we made it.  I met Abel on the journey.  He was a couple of years older than me, and he was part of the same wagon train."

"His family was from New York too?"

Rebekah shook her head.  "No, they were from New Jersey."  She shrugged.  "Close enough, though.  Our families remained close once we got here, and we ended up married."

"Did you have feelings for him right away?" Elaine asked, still trying to come to grips with what she felt for Colin.  She knew she was falling in love with him, but she had no idea how he felt about her.  Sure, he'd claimed to love her, but she knew he just felt sorry for her.

Rebekah seemed to think about that for a moment.  "I thought he was annoying when I first met him.  He kept trying to act like he knew everything to impress me.  Once he stopped that nonsense, we became friends, and eventually, we fell in love."  She gave Leah another piece of bread.  "What about you?  Did you look at Colin and know he was the one for you?"

Elaine shook her head.  "Not immediately.  I was attracted to him right away, but I don't think I knew that I had feelings for him for a while.  Not until he kissed me in the alley in town."  She blushed as soon as the words escaped her mouth.

"He kissed you in an alley?  Do tell!"

Elaine laughed.  "I tried to get him to shake on an agreement we made before we went to the pastor to marry.  He refused to shake but dragged me off into an alley and kissed me instead.  I'm not sure what he was thinking."  She'd never been in a relationship with a man before Colin, so she didn't know if things like that were normal.

Rebekah laughed.  "If he's like most men, he was thinking he didn't want to wait to get his hands on you.  He's a nice man and well regarded around town."

Elaine took a sip of her water.  "I also met John Black.  What do you think of him?"  She knew Colin's opinion of the man, but she'd love to hear what another woman thought of him. 

"Just be glad you didn't come here to marry him.  He told everyone he'd sent off for a mail order bride."  Rebekah shuddered delicately.  "You'd have had to turn tail and get back East as soon as possible.  He's not a pleasant man."

"I got that impression.  He likes to stop in here for a free meal whenever he feels like it."  Elaine shook her head, debating telling the other woman about how she was supposed to be John's bride but he'd rejected her.

"I'd avoid him if you can.  Can Colin tell him not to come by anymore?"

"Is he dangerous?" Elaine asked in surprise.  She had gotten the impression he was not a pleasant person, but not that he was dangerous.

Rebekah frowned.  "I don't know if dangerous is the right word, but he makes me very uncomfortable.  I think he only bathes twice a year, and he acts as if he knows everything.  I don't really know what to say except that I would keep my distance."

Elaine nodded.  "Thanks for telling me what you think."  She knew she'd be thinking a lot about what the other woman had told her about John.  He made her very uncomfortable.

They changed the subject to easier topics as they finished eating and did the dishes together.  After lunch, they sat at the table together to talk, each with a cup of tea and a piece of the cake Elaine had baked.  "I have a question for you.  I need to hire someone to scrub my floors once a week.  It's something my bad leg just won't allow me to do on my own.  Do you know of anyone who would be willing?"

Rebekah thought about it for a moment.  "My younger sister, Laura, just got married last month, and they're having trouble making ends meet.  I think she'd be thrilled for some extra money.  Do you want me to ask her for you?"

"Oh, yes, please!  I'm happy to pay a fair wage for it.  I can do everything except that so far.  I'm sure I'll run into more things that are hard for me as time goes by, though."  Elaine shook her head.  "I feel like I'm failing as a wife, because I can't do something as simple as scrub my floors."  She knew the other woman would understand why she felt like a failure better than Colin did.

Rebekah shook her head.  "I saw the way Colin was looking at you on Sunday.  He certainly doesn't think you're failing as a wife.  He's very happy with you."

Elaine smiled.  "He overlooks my weaknesses.  What more could a woman ask for in a husband?"

"All of us have weaknesses."  Rebekah looked at her plate for a moment.  "I can't bake for anything.  My mother was a terrible baker, and she was never able to teach me to do it well.  I burn the bread half the time, and my cakes are never worth eating."

Elaine was startled.  "Oh, I'm certain that's not true.  You probably cook like a dream."  She couldn't imagine the woman sitting across from her not doing everything she attempted well.

"Oh I do.  I just don't bake well.  Not that Abel complains.  He says he married me because he loves me, not because I bake bread well."  Rebekah shrugged.  "I hate it, but what can I do?"

"Would you like me to teach you?  We could bake some bread this afternoon, and you could take some home with you.  I was going to bake bread in the morning, and this will give me a head start."  Elaine loved the idea of being able to do something nice for the other woman.  She felt like she'd done so much for her by recommending someone to clean her floors and walking two miles with a child to have lunch with her.

"Oh, I couldn't ask you to do that." 

"You're not asking.  I'm offering."  Elaine stood up.  "Here, let me show you."  She pulled down the ingredients and spent the next two hours showing the other woman how to properly knead dough and how long to let it rise.  When they were finished, Rebekah had two perfect loaves of bread to take home with her and Elaine still had two for herself.

When Leah woke from her nap in a strange place, she cried for a minute before getting down from the bed and wandering into the main room with Elaine and her mother.  Elaine gave her a piece of cake, which she ate quickly.  "More cake?" Leah asked.

Rebekah sighed.  "She never asks for more of my cake."

Elaine chuckled.  "The next time you come over, we'll bake a cake together.  That way you can learn that too."  She knew the other woman would need to leave soon, so she cut what was left of the cake in half, putting some on a plate with a bowl upside down over it to keep it fresh for herself and Colin.  She handed the cake pan to Rebekah.  "Take this home with you.  I have another cake pan, so if you return this on Sunday, it will be fine."

Rebekah seemed to go through an internal debate before she took it.  "I don't know how I'm going to get all these goodies home, but I'm going to do my best."

Elaine put the two loaves of bread in a basket after wrapping a towel around them.  "Here, this will help."  She looked at Leah.  "If you can carry the basket for your mama, then she can take the cake home.  Can you do that?"  She was pleased to be able to offer such a simple solution.

Leah's face lit up.  "More cake?"

"Yes, you can take cake with you if you can carry the basket."  Elaine was enchanted by the pretty little girl and her excitement over the cake.

Leah nodded solemnly.  "I carry."

"Good girl."  Elaine grinned at Rebekah.  "Problem solved."

"I'm going to see my sister for a few minutes tomorrow afternoon.  I'll tell her you want to hire someone to scrub your floors and have her come by to talk to you about it."  Rebekah helped her daughter down from the chair she was sitting on, padded by pillows to make her tall enough.  "Thank you so much for the baked goods and teaching me to make bread.  I'm going to really surprise Abel the next time I bake bread for him."

"I hope so," Elaine told her friend.  "I think it'll be a good surprise."  She knew that it was hard enough being a wife without worrying that you weren't doing something well enough.

"I know it will."  Rebekah took Leah's hand and the two of them left the house. 

Elaine watched them go for a moment before she went back in to wash the dishes they'd dirtied with their cake and tea.  She was so glad to have found a friend.  It had been years since she'd really been able to spend time with a friend.  Rebekah was going to be good for her, and she was thrilled to be able to say it.

*****

Colin looked sadly at what was left of the cake when he got in that afternoon.  "You ladies ate all of that cake?" he asked.

Elaine laughed.  "No, we didn't.  I sent half the cake home with Rebekah."  She couldn't believe he looked so sad about the cake, like a little boy whose treat had been taken away from him.

He gave her a forlorn look, obviously not happy with that answer.  "Why would you do that to me?" 

She walked to him and kissed him softly.  "Rebekah doesn't know how to bake.  I taught her to bake bread today, and I sent her home with half the cake.  I'll bake you another one tomorrow."  She frowned.  "Actually, I'm going to need to go into town again within the next couple of days for more supplies."  Especially if she was going to be giving baking lessons, she would need to make sure she had extra flour and sugar and lard around.

"I'll take you tomorrow if you want."  He wasn't about to let her run out of the ingredients she needed to make his sweets.

"That would be really nice if you don't mind."  She set dinner on the table in front of him, and he smiled. 

"I don't mind at all.  We'll go right after breakfast."  He waited until she was seated and prayed for them both.  "Did you have a good time with Rebekah today?" he asked.

She nodded.  "I had a really good time.  I enjoyed having something that I was good at that I could help her with, and she said her sister needs extra money and would probably be willing to scrub the floors for me."  She was pleased to be able to offer him the solution she and Rebekah had come up with.

"Oh, good.  That will take a load off your mind."  He was happy that she seemed happy about it.  He hated that she got so upset over little things that she couldn't help.

"Yes it will.  She helped me see that I'm not the only one who isn't a perfect wife, though."  She sighed, toying with her food for a moment.  "I felt like I was really lacking because I couldn't scrub the floor myself.  I was embarrassed to ask her if she knew anyone, but then she admitted that she couldn't bake worth anything, and that made me feel better."  It had done a great deal for her confidence level to help the other woman with her baking as well.  If she was better at even one thing, then she was doing well.

"Trust me.  I'd rather have a woman who could cook and bake like you do any day than a woman who can scrub the floors.  The floor has nothing to do with how good my food tastes."

Elaine hadn't really thought of it that way.  "I'm glad you think that way." 

"Of course, I do!"

"She said she thinks I should stay away from John.  She is uncomfortable around him."  She was getting more and more nervous about John every day, but she just wasn't certain why.

Colin nodded as he thought about it.  He didn't like the idea of her being around him when he wasn't there.  "I agree with that.  If I'm not here, don't even go to the door if he comes over.  I don't want you to be alone with him at all. He's just not a good man."  He had nothing specific that had happened to make him feel that way, other than the way he'd seen the other man treat Elaine, but he knew he didn't trust him.

"I won't."  She would probably hide from him if he came, which wasn't the best solution, but he frightened her.

*****

She got a vase in town the next day and found the things she still needed for cooking.  She hadn't realized just how sparsely his kitchen was equipped, so she had a better idea what she needed now.  As she shopped, he talked to Mr. Judd.  She heard snatches of conversation floating back to her.  "She cooks like a dream.  It really was my lucky day when I found her in the restaurant."

"She's a pretty one and seems like a hard worker.  You could do worse."

Elaine smiled at the compliments, carefully choosing what she wanted for her home.  She wanted to make a new thicker winter quilt before the cold weather set in, so she purchased all the fabric she'd need for that.  The quilt he had was made by his mother and already starting to come apart after many years of usage.

She loved the idea of the two of them sharing a quilt she'd made with her own hands.  She wanted to be able to do everything for him, not because he expected it of her, but because it pleased her to do so.

After shopping, he took her to the restaurant for lunch to give her a break from cooking.  When she protested she didn't need a break, he just smiled and led her into the restaurant.  As they ate, she watched the people around them.  She wished there were more people she recognized, but she knew that would come with time.  "I like Kansas City," she told him.  "It seems like a really nice place."  She'd never felt as comfortable in Beckham as she did in Kansas.

"I do too.  I moved here for the land the government gave me, of course, but now that I've been here for a while, I couldn't be happier with the people.  Everyone is friendly and helpful."  He frowned.  "Well, most everyone."

John walked in then and caught Colin's eye.  He tried not to draw attention to the other man, hoping Elaine wouldn't notice him, but John walked to their table.  "Well if it isn't the lovebirds."

Elaine nodded to the man and continued eating, not wanting to have a full conversation with him. 

Colin met the other man's eyes.  "What do you want, John?"

"I'm just being friendly."  John looked at Elaine.  "I sent another letter to Miss Miller.  Told her that this time I want a girl who can cook and clean who isn't broken."

Colin got to his feet.  "I will not let you talk to my wife that way."  He couldn't believe that John was still trying to belittle Elaine even though there was no need for him to ever speak with her.

John glared at the other man before turning on his heel and leaving the restaurant without eating. 

"I sent Elizabeth a letter about what happened when I got here," she told Colin.  "I don't think she'll match him up with another bride."  She had been very honest about the way John had spoken to her and how he'd refused to marry her.  She knew Elizabeth wouldn't be happy at all to have one of her brides treated that way by the man she was supposed to marry.

"Who is Elizabeth?"  He hadn't heard Elaine mention her before. 

Elaine explained quickly about the mail order bride service and how it was Elizabeth Miller who ran it and sent the brides out.  "She was really sweet, but I never got a chance to know her well."  She wished she'd been able to take the time to become friends with the other woman now that she was too far away to do it.  She'd been very kind to her.

"And you don't think she'll send another bride out to him?"

Elaine shook her head.  "Elizabeth feels really strongly about not sending women into bad situations.  She does a bit of a background check on every man, although I'm not certain how John passed."  She knew for a fact that Elizabeth wouldn't send another woman out to be mistreated by John.

Colin looked at her for a moment.  "Do you know how to use a shotgun?" he asked.  He wasn't sure why, but he was worried she'd be in danger at the house if John found out he wouldn't be able to get a bride from the agency.  He was going to follow his gut, though, and make sure that she was safe.

"No.  My mother felt that guns were only for men's use, because women had no idea how to really use them safely."  She'd never liked guns, but she wasn't afraid of them.  She liked the idea of being able to use one.

Colin sighed.  "Your mother has some ridiculous ideas.  Do you have any brothers?"  He couldn't believe he'd never asked that of her before.  Why didn't he know more about his wife's past?

"No, just four sisters."  She was certain if she'd had a brother her life would have been different.

"She should have had at least one boy."  He took a bite of his pot roast.  "I want to teach you how to shoot.  If John comes after you, and I'm not home, I won't leave you defenseless."  He watched her for a reaction to his suggestion.

Elaine contemplated that for a moment.  "I could never point a gun at anyone."   She knew she'd never be able to live with herself if she had to shoot someone, no matter how badly they'd treated her.

"You may need to.  We'll practice some and hope it never comes to that."  His tone of voice let her know that he wasn't going to accept any kind of argument on the matter.  He'd made his decision, and she needed to listen to him for a change.

She made a face and finally nodded.  "All right.  I'll learn."  She wouldn't be happy about it, though.

He started her lessons the following afternoon.  At first, she enjoyed them, because he stood behind her with his arms around her, helping her hold the gun steady as she learned to aim.  "With a shotgun a large number of pellets are shot at the same time, so you have a better chance of hitting your target.  With a rifle or a pistol, it's only one bullet at a time."  He wanted her to use the shotgun to give her a better chance of hitting her target.

"I see," she said, snuggling back against him with her back pressed to his chest.  "Shooting lessons are fun."  She rubbed her backside against him suggestively.

He let out a bark of laughter.  "You need to behave."  He helped her hold the gun steady.  "I want you to aim for that branch on the tree there."  He pointed to a tree that was not too far in front of them.

She closed her eyes and squeezed the trigger, and she would have stumbled backwards if he hadn't been pressed so close against her.  Her shoulder where the gun was pressed against it hurt a great deal.  "I don't like this."  The kick of the gun was too powerful.  She was certain if she ever tried to shoot without him standing behind her, she'd be knocked on her backside.

He sighed.  "I know it hurts, but you have to be able to do it.  I won't feel like I can work unless I know you know how to handle a gun."

She nodded.  "I'll learn.  I promise."

*****

As she got ready for bed that evening, she noticed a huge bruise on her right shoulder where she'd braced the shotgun.  She rubbed it, groaning at the ache.  After climbing into bed, she laid quietly under the covers, waiting for him to join her.  "My shoulder is all bruised," she told him as he undressed in the dark.

"Shotguns have a real kick.  I don't think you could do as well with a pistol, though."  He was worried that she wouldn't have good enough aim for a pistol.  Aim didn't matter as much with a shot gun.

He gathered her to him, being careful of her sore shoulder.  "We'll take tomorrow off, and try again on Saturday after church."  He hated that his lessons had hurt her, but he knew it was necessary.

She snuggled close, putting her head on his shoulder.  "I should feel well enough by then.  Do you really think all of this is necessary?" she asked.  She'd spent the day with the gun, already loaded, propped against the corner of the wall and work table.  Colin had said he needed to know she had it close so she could stay safe.

He was silent for a long time before answering, trying to think of the best way to say it.  "I really hope not."  But yes, he thought she'd need it.  He just couldn't say the words aloud.

Elaine sighed, her eyes closing.  "Me too."

*****

Rebekah's sister, Laura, was there Monday morning to scrub her floors.  Elaine thanked the other woman profusely for being willing to take the time to come out and help her.  She didn't feel like the woman asked for enough money for her time, but she didn't argue.  It took her less than an hour to do the entire job.  After she was finished, Elaine served them tea and cookies.

"Oh, these are good!  Rebekah told me you were really good at baking."  Laura took a second bite of the cookie and smiled down at it.  "I need to learn to bake like his."

"Well, I'm going to be giving Rebekah baking lessons every Wednesday afternoon for a while.  You're welcome to join us."  She nodded to the work table where there was a basket covered with a cloth.  "I did bake you a loaf of bread and some cookies to take home with you."  She wanted to do something nice for the woman after the way she'd helped her.

Laura smiled and nodded.  "Thank you so much!  I'll talk to Rebekah and see if she'd mind sharing lessons with me.  I'd invite our ma as well, but I don't think that woman will ever learn."

"I don't think my mother has ever cooked a meal in her life, let alone baked a cake.  I used to sneak into the kitchen at home and get lessons from our cook, Mrs. Jenkins."  Elaine's face lit up just at the mention of her old mentor.  She missed her a great deal and decided she'd have to write her a letter the first chance she got.

"You had a cook?  You grew up very differently than I did."

Elaine smiled.  "Having a lot of wealth isn't always a good thing.  You think so until you have it, and you realize that you're not any happier than anyone else."  She knew most people were convinced that great wealth would make them happy, but she hadn't grown up very unhappy.

After they finished their tea, Laura helped with the dishes and took her bread and cookies with her.  "I'll talk to Rebekah and see if it's okay if I come back on Wednesday," she said.  "If not, I'll see you at church on Sunday."

Elaine was thrilled with the job the other woman had done, and when Colin came home for lunch he commented on how good everything looked.  "Laura came to do the floors today?" He needed to make certain Elaine hadn't hurt herself doing it.

She nodded.  "She did a great job, didn't she?"  She put the soup she'd made for their lunch onto the table and sat down with Colin.  "Do we have to do another shooting lesson today?"  She dreaded the lessons, because they always left her feeling so sore.

He shook his head. "If we were using a rifle I'd have to do several more lessons with you, but with a shotgun, I think you're fine.  I'll just make sure that I keep the shotgun loaded. Your aim is good enough that I'm not worried any longer."

She nodded, smiling.  "I'm so glad that's done.  I hope I never have to shoot another gun."  She was happy to see it leaning against the wall, though, knowing it was loaded and ready to be used.

He smiled.  "So do I.  I'll feel better while I'm working knowing that you can shoot one, though."

*****

They settled into a routine after that.  Every Wednesday Laura and Rebekah came alone with little Leah for lunch.  While the little girl was sleeping the three women would bake.  She had both of them making basic breads and cakes by their second lesson.  "Why did Ma always say this was so difficult?" Laura asked Rebekah.

Rebekah shrugged.  "I have no idea.  I actually enjoy it."  She looked at her younger sister with a grin.  "We're going to have to start taking turns taking baked goods over for Pa you know."

Laura made a face.  "I know.  Pa says he likes her bread, but how could anyone like it?  It's always hard as a rock and usually burnt to boot."

"I'll take her some tomorrow morning, but you have to take something by on Saturday."  Rebekah gave Laura the 'older sister' look that Elaine had gotten many times from her older sisters, and she was sure she'd given it to her younger sisters as well.  The look was universal.

"I will."  Laura obviously wasn't looking forward to it, though.

"Do you want to work on cookies next week?" Elaine asked them.  She was surprised at just how much she was enjoying giving the other women baking lessons.  For once, she felt like she was better at doing something than other women, and it made her feel like she was competent.

"Sounds good," Rebekah said.  "I know that Leah loves your cookies."  She looked at the counter where there was a basket full of cookies waiting for each of the women to take home with them.  They each had a cake pan as well.

Laura lived in town, so she'd driven out to get Rebekah and Leah and drive them to Elaine's because it was getting colder.

"Are you going to have Thanksgiving with your mother?" Elaine asked.  She hated the idea of Thanksgiving with only two people.  She was used to her mother's house that was always bursting at the seams on the holiday.  It was the one holiday every year where all of the servants had brought their families, and her older sisters came home with their families for the special meal.  It would seem very quiet with just her and Colin.

"Yes, we always do," Rebekah replied.  "You and Colin should join us.  Mother won't mind.  There's plenty of room, and you could actually bring some pies that would be fit to eat."

Laura nodded emphatically.  "Oh, yes!  We'd love to have the two of you there."

Elaine thought about it for a moment.  She loved the idea of being with a big group for the holiday, but she wasn't sure how Colin would feel.  They hadn't talked about it at all.  "I'll ask Colin."  She hoped he'd agree to the special meal with the sisters' family, but she wasn't certain, and didn't feel like she should speak for him.

"Oh, you know he'll do anything to make you happy," Rebekah said.  "I've never seen a man more in love with his wife."

"What?  No.  He just married me because..."  Elaine let her voice trail off.  They thought she'd come out as a mail order bride for Colin, and she didn't want to disillusion either of them.

"Because you stepped off the train and he thought you were beautiful?" Laura asked.

"Because he loves you?" Rebekah suggested.

Elaine shook her head, looking back and forth between the two women.  "No, he doesn't love me."  She sat down at the table and sighed.  "He married me because he felt sorry for me.  You see, I came out here to marry John Black, and John took one look at my limp, and he told me to go back where I came from."  She said the words quickly to get them out, hating that she still felt as if she'd done something wrong.

Rebekah shook her head.  "He did not!"

Elaine shrugged.  "He did.  Colin was sitting at the table next to us in the restaurant when I was talking to John about my injury, and he came over after John stormed out.  He asked me to marry him.  I know he really did want a wife who could cook.  Anyone can see that, but also, he just felt sorry for me after he saw the way John rejected me."  She felt better getting that off her chest.  She'd felt like she was deceiving her friends for a long time, and she didn't have to any longer.

Rebekah sat down across from Elaine, taking her hand in hers.  "I'm sure that's not what it was at all.  You're a beautiful woman, and I'm sure he looked at you and all he could think about was being your husband."  She shook her head.  "I've seen the way he looks at you, Elaine.  That man is very much in love."

"He's just a good actor and doesn't want to embarrass me in front of the whole town."  Elaine wished there were more between her and Colin, but she was certain he felt nothing for her, and she couldn't let her friends think otherwise.

Laura sat down beside Elaine.  "You can't really believe that.  His love shows clearly on his face.  Stop worrying about it.  I'm sure he'll tell you soon."

Elaine shrugged.  "Well, he's said that he fell in love with me at first sight, but no man would fall in love with a woman who walks like I do."  Why was she having to convince them of the truth.  Couldn't they see it with their own eyes?

Rebekah stared at Elaine in shock.  "You really believe that, don't you?"  At Elaine's nod, she continued.  "Elaine, he truly does love you.  Colin is not a liar.  Everything about him is admired by the entire town.  He's the most honest man I know."

"He's also the most kind-hearted and would never hurt a woman by telling her the truth about why he married her."  Elaine stood and walked to the sink to start the few dishes they'd dirtied during their baking lesson. 

Rebekah joined her at the sink, obviously not knowing what to say to Elaine any longer.  She dried the dishes as Elaine washed them while Laura tended to Leah who had woken up.  Before they left, Rebekah hugged Elaine tightly.  "Talk to Colin about Thanksgiving.  We'd love to have you there." 

Elaine nodded.  "I will.  I'd like to be there."  She would do her best to get Colin to agree, because it wouldn't really feel like they were celebrating the holiday with just the two of them.

*****

Colin took her into town for supplies the next day, and they stopped at the post office to see if any mail had arrived for either of them.  Colin had written home about marrying, and Elaine was still waiting to hear back from both Elizabeth and her parents.  Colin handed her two letters as they stepped out of the post office, and looking at the handwriting on both, she decided to wait until she got home to read them.  She was certain one was from Elizabeth, but the other was obviously from her mother.  She needed to be alone to read a letter from her mother.

After spending a few minutes in the general store, they drove home, eating the picnic lunch Elaine had packed for them beside the Missouri River.  Colin spread one of the quilts his mother had made him out on the ground, and she put the picnic basket on it, opening it to serve them both fried chicken and potato salad.  She also had a large flask filled with lemonade for them.

"It's so peaceful here," she said to Colin, smiling at the river as the waves lapped at the banks.  "I can see why you like it."  The waves were very calming for her.

He nodded.  "I could sit here all day, but then the fences wouldn't get mended and the cattle wouldn't be moved to a new pasture."

"And you wouldn't have anything to eat for supper."  She laughed at the look on his face at her words.  She'd never met a man who liked to eat quite as much as Colin did.

He looked at her in mock shock.  "You need to make sure you have enough time to feed me, woman!"

"I've heard the saying that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.  I'm certain that's true in your case."  She couldn't help but tease him over his love for food.

He caught her hand in his and raised it to his lips.  "You already have my heart, but please don't stop cooking!"

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry at his words.  He couldn't joke about her having his heart, when they both knew he had no real feelings for her.  "I won't stop cooking.  I like how excited you get when you eat too much for that."  She really did enjoy cooking for him, because he was so genuinely happy every time he came in the door and smelled dinner cooking.

"You're a good wife."

She shrugged. "I try to be, but I'm not sure how close I come to succeeding."  She wished she was a better wife with everything inside her.

"I can't believe you even worry about that.  You know that I think you're absolutely wonderful."  Colin toyed with the hand he still held in his lap, nodding toward the road.  "If we weren't in such a public place, I'd show you how wonderful I think you are."  His eyes told her what was on his mind, and she blushed.

"I think you've shown me that once or twice." 

"Only once or twice?  I'll have to try harder."  He grinned with the same boyish grin that had caught her attention the day they'd met.  "Who were the letters from?"

She shrugged.  "One is from my mother, and the other is from Elizabeth, the one who runs the mail order bride agency."  She was doing her best not to think about the contents of those letters.

"You're not going to read them?"  He was surprised she hadn't torn into them as soon as they were in her hand, which is what he did when he got a letter from home.

"When we get home.  I'm not sure what to expect from mother's letter, so I'd rather be alone when I read it."  She looked out over the river, trying to act as if it didn't matter to her.

He frowned.  "You don't think it will be a good letter?"

"I really have no idea.  She didn't want me to come here, so I can only guess it's going to be pretty negative."  She looked down at the chicken in her hand.  "I almost don't want to read it, but she's my mother."  She'd always given her everything she needed, and she'd made it very clear that she loved all her daughters.  She'd just smothered her more than she could handle.

"Do you want me to read it first?" He hated that she was so nervous about a letter from home.  He would do anything to help her with it.

She shook her head.  "If it's as negative as I think it'll be, I don't want you to see it."  She smiled.  "There's no reason to drag you into my family's craziness."  Her words were lighthearted, but he could see the sadness in her eyes.

He frowned.  "Let me know if you change your mind."

Once they were home and he'd carried everything in from the wagon, he kissed her gently.  "Do you want me to wait while you read it?" he asked, knowing she'd read the letters as soon as he left.

She shook her head.  "I can handle it."  She watched him as he left to go back to work and sat down at the table with her two letters.  She opened Elizabeth's first, because she knew it would be easier for her to read.  "Dear Elaine, Thanks for writing me to let me know you're all right.  I'm so glad Colin came along and asked you to be his wife.  My heart went out to you about what you said about John Black.  He will not be matched with a bride through my agency.  There's no way I could send a bride out there in good conscience.  I'm very thankful that despite his rudeness, you've found a man you're happy with.  Colin sounds like the kind of man that I'd want for you.  Loving and understanding of your infirmity.  I do hope the two of you are very happy together.  Please keep in touch, as I like to always keep up with my brides.  I want to make sure you remain happy in your marriage.  Your friend, Elizabeth."

Elaine smiled as she reread the letter, folding it back along the creases.  She would start a box to keep all the letters from home that were worth keeping in.

Pushing Elizabeth's letter to the side, she opened the letter from her mother, taking a deep breath to get up the courage to read the words that were written there.  "Dear Elaine, I worry about you night and day.  Thank you for sending a letter to let me know that you married.  I hope that your husband is wealthy enough that he can provide a maid and cook for you because you know as well as I do that you shouldn't be on your feet for longer than it takes to get out of bed and walk to the parlor to sew."  Elaine looked around the tiny house she lived in with Colin, and thought about how upset her mother would be if she could see it.  She didn't have a room that could even be jokingly called a parlor.  "I hope to be able to travel out to see you and your new husband at Christmas time.  I went to Elizabeth Miller's house to see if she'd received any word of you, and she informed me that you married a different man than you set out to marry.  Did the first one realize that you were too weak to be able to keep house for him?  Is that what happened?  I understand your new husband's name is Colin Monroe, but that's really all I know about him.  Why didn't you tell me that you married another man? You shouldn't hide things like this from your mother.  I've dedicated the last twelve years of my life to keeping you safe from harm, and that's the thanks I get?  You don't tell me that you go to another state to marry one man and end up married to another? I certainly hope he has a maid to help you, because if you're doing the heavy chores around the house, you'll be worthless to your husband in a matter of weeks, and you know it as well as I do.  Why don't you ever listen to me?  You should have stayed home where you were safe instead of running off to Kansas of all places. Have the Indians come after you yet?  Please tell me your husband doesn't leave you alone all day where you could be hurt by savages.  Oh, I'll worry until I come out there and see for myself.  Expect me at Christmas time.  I'll send a letter with my exact arrival time as soon as I can.  Love, Mother."

Elaine folded the letter up and put her head down on the table, crying silently.  What was it about her mother that always made her feel about three inches tall?  Why could she not see that Elaine was stronger and more capable than she gave her credit for?

Chapter Six

Elaine didn't know how much time had passed before she got up and put the letters in her drawer in the bedroom under her nightgowns.  She knew Colin would never look there, and she wasn't ready for him to know just how much her mother had babied her and how she would look down on him and what he provided for her.

She worked hard to keep from crying as the day progressed, although she kept thinking about her mother's words.  She didn't want her to come to Kansas.  She would take one look at the small house she shared with Colin and say it wasn't good enough.  She was walking better than she'd walked in ages, because she had strengthened her leg through a lot of use.  Her back would get sore by the end of the day because of the disparity in the length of her legs, but she felt better than she had in years.

When Colin came into the house at the end of the day, he could see that she was extremely upset and knew it must be one of the letters she'd received.  He washed his hands, soaping them long and thoroughly before sitting down at the table.  "Did Elizabeth say if she'd send another bride out to John?"  He knew it would upset her if another woman were sent to Kansas to be treated the way she had been treated. 

She put the pork roast on the table in front of him and brought over a bowl of mashed potatoes.  "No, she won't.  She thanked me for telling her what happened and said that John wouldn't get a bride through her agency." 

Colin nodded.  "That's good news.  I'd hate to think what he'd be like if another less than perfect woman came out here to marry him."  He watched as she took the spot across from him and took her hand, bowing his head for their prayer.  "So what did your mother have to say?"  If it wasn't Elizabeth, it had to be her mother.  He hoped there had been no deaths or illnesses in the family, but judging by Elaine's face, he expected the worst.

Elaine felt the tears prick her eyes at his question.  "I'd rather not talk about Mother's letter."  How could she tell him that her mother found her deficient in every way.  If he couldn't see for himself that she wasn't good enough for him, she wasn't about to be the one to tell him.

"Was someone ill?  Was there a death in the family?"  His voice was full of worry for her, and she smiled.

"No, just the usual nonsense from my mother."  She smiled at how concerned he was.  It was nice to be the center of his world the way she was.  No one else had ever acted as if she were that important.

"I hope you know that you're the perfect bride for me, no matter what your mother's letter might say."  He took a forkful of mashed potatoes and brought them to his lips.  "I think your leg is getting stronger with all the work you're doing as well."  He tried not to bring her leg up often, but he felt that in this case, it was necessary.  Her mother didn't really have anything else to denigrate her for that he knew of.

Elaine didn't answer, but instead she toyed with the food on her plate, not feeling any great appetite.  "Rebekah and Laura invited us to have Thanksgiving with their parents. They said it would be really nice to have a decent pie for a change."  She hoped he'd want to go.  It would be fun to be with her new friends for the holiday.

Colin accepted her change of subject, but he couldn't help but watch her to see if she was all right.  Finally, he nodded.  "I think that would be all right.  It would be nice to have a lot of people around for the holiday."  He took a sip of water.  "Will it bother you to spend Christmas with just the two of us?"  He watched her carefully, knowing that if she said it would bother her, he'd throw a party for all of Kansas City on Christmas Day just to keep her happy.

She shook her head. "Mother says she'll be here for Christmas, so we won't be alone. I don't know if that means she'll bring the entire family or just come on her own."  She didn't mention that she didn't want her mother to even think about coming.  She didn't want her there at all.  How would she be able to keep her new-found confidence with her mother there trying to tear her down?

"I can understand if she wants to meet me. I wouldn't want my daughter to be married to someone I'd never met."  He hoped that was the only thing her mother had said to upset her, but judging by the look on her face, he doubted that was the case.

She nodded. "Honestly, I can understand that.  She doesn't think I should be married to a man who doesn't have the money to hire a maid because standing to cook and clean is too much for me."  She made a face.  "I hate that she treats me like an invalid.  I'm a strong capable woman, but after reading her letter, I feel like I should give up and just sit and sew for the rest of my life, which is exactly what she wants me to do.  After reading that letter, I feel even worse about not being able to clean the floors myself.  It's like she just drove home the point that I'm not good enough or whole enough to be a good wife, and I never will be."  She felt the tears trickling down her face as she said the words to him, knowing there's no way he could understand the emotions involved.

Colin shook his head.  "I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.  I couldn't have sat down and written out the qualities I wanted in a wife and had someone create her for me, and come up with someone better than you.  You are the wife I wanted and needed.  I wouldn't change anything about you."  She truly was the wife he'd needed his entire life.  How could she not see that?

Elaine took in a shaky breath and released it slowly.  "It really doesn't bother you that I drag my leg around?"  How could it not bother him when it bothered everyone else she knew?

"It never has.  I wouldn't have wanted a woman who is perfect, because I'm not perfect myself."  He couldn't imagine how a perfect woman would react to him and all of his flaws.  He knew Elaine appreciated him, but she only did because she was flawed herself.  He wouldn't have changed her flaws for anything, because they made her who she was.

Elaine smiled at that.  "That's not what people around town say.  They all sing your praises.  I think you're pretty darn special myself."  He blushed, which was something she'd never seen before.  "Do you get embarrassed when people say good things about you?  Really?"  She didn't know why she found so much pleasure in his embarrassment, but she did. 

"I don't know who you've been talking to, but I'm far from perfect.  If I'd been perfect, I'd have helped you find a place to live so you could slowly get to know people in town instead of marrying you right off.  That was selfish of me.  You maybe would have found a man with enough money that you could have had a maid and a cook."  He felt guilty for not doing just that.  He knew it would have been the right thing to do even at the time, but he'd taken one look at her and wanted her for his wife, and done all he could to make it happen.

"I didn't want either of those things.  I like cooking and cleaning for you."  How could he not realize that with as hard as she worked to cater to his every whim?

"But your mother is right.  You weren't raised to do those things.  You had an easier life growing up."  He should have left her to her life of leisure, but it was too late now.  Even if divorce was acceptable, he'd never be able to let her go. His feelings for her were much too strong.

She shook her head.  "My life was too easy growing up.  I honestly loved to go play at a friend's house and help with the chores.  I've always enjoyed cooking and have spent countless hours in the kitchen with our family cook learning everything I can about it.  It makes me happy."  Cooking for him made her even happier, though, because he appreciated every little thing she did a great deal.  It was as if every small act of service for him was equivalent to climbing a mountain in his eyes.

"I hope you still feel that way in five years when we have children, and you're working nonstop cooking and cleaning while taking care of a little one or two."  He grinned as he pictured it in his mind.  She'd have a toddler clinging to her skirts while she worked, and a baby lying in the bassinet off to one side of the room.  He'd need to build a bigger house. 

She smiled.  "Right now that sounds like heaven to me.  When it actually happens, I may feel differently."  She loved the idea of holding his child.

He laughed.  "Yes, you might.  I hope not, though, because I love the idea of you being surrounded by our children and baking a cake.  You make the best cakes."  He smiled and looked at her as if he expected her to magically pull a cake from behind her back.

"I didn't bake a cake for dessert tonight.  I'm sorry."  She knew he'd be let down, and her eyes danced with mischief as she told him there was no cake.

His face fell.  "That's okay.  I understand you didn't have time what with the trip to town and everything."  He couldn't believe how disappointed he was.  She'd made a dessert for him every evening since he'd told her he had a sweet tooth.  He knew he shouldn't expect it of her, but she always had one waiting.

Elaine got up and walked to the oven, opening it and removing the pie she'd baked.  "I'm going to teach the ladies to bake pies next week, and I've never actually done one on my own from crust to filling, so I thought I should practice."  She put the cherry pie on the table and cut a slice for him.  "I did have to buy the cherries already canned, but I had to add my own sugar to make it just right."  She loved the look on his face as she brought the pie out, and he saw she hadn't forgotten his dessert after all.

She sat down with her own piece and waited as he took a bite, knowing she wanted to see his face as he took the first bite. 

He closed his eyes and savored the taste, chewing slowly and methodically.  "It's so shocking to me that you can cook and bake the way you do when your mother never allowed you in the kitchen."  His tongue went out to catch a stray bit of cherry from his lip as he devoured his pie as quickly as he could.

Elaine laughed.  "She left the house a lot, and I would sneak into the kitchen and sit with our cook and help her.  It gave me something to do and I enjoyed the cook's company a great deal."  She smiled as she mentioned Mrs. Jenkins and all she'd taught her behind her mother's back.  Why, she wouldn't even know how to wash dishes if it hadn't been for Mrs. Jenkins.

He chuckled.  "That explains it all.  Thank you for being a disobedient daughter and learning the skills I needed in a wife."  He winked at her as he said the words to let her know he didn't think she'd been terribly disobedient after all.

After supper, he dried the dishes for her despite her complaints.  "I can help you if I want to.  I know you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself, but it doesn't make me any less of a man to dry the dishes for my wife." Once he would have thought that it would unman him, but he'd learned a lot from her in the past few weeks, all lessons he hadn't realized he needed to learn.

She sighed.  "Just so you know that I can do it, I guess it's all right.  I just think you should be able to sit back and relax after working all day."  It always made her feel like he didn't think she was capable when he helped, though.  She wasn't certain why, but she'd rather he calmly sat and watched her clean as he did most nights.

"Well, I know how I want to relax tonight, and it's not sitting at the table.  I can't relax the way I want until my wife is done with her chores for the day."  He waggled his eyebrows at her letting her know just what kind of relaxation he meant. 

She laughed.  "You know you are absolutely insatiable.  How can I keep a man who only thinks of being in bed happy?"  She shook her head at him, while she laughed, letting him know that she loved how much he wanted her.

"Go to bed with him, of course.  But that's not fair anyway.  I think of a lot more than being in bed.  I think of cakes and pies and cookies and cinnamon rolls.  I think of cinnamon rolls a lot."  He licked his lips as if he could taste the cinnamon rolls.

"But I've never made you cinnamon rolls."  She looked at him questioningly.

He pouted, looking at her with pleading eyes.  "I know.  I'm heartbroken over that fact." 

She sighed.  "Cinnamon rolls, huh?  I guess I'll make something new."  She shook her head.  "A woman might think that you only married her for her cooking ability and bedroom willingness." 

"No!  There's more...um...I'll let you know when I remember what it is..."  He winked at her as she laughed.

*****

Elaine made double the dough she usually made for bread the following afternoon, knowing she was going to use about half of it for cinnamon rolls.  She couldn't resist her husband.  She'd already made two new kinds of pies and had them resting on the work table.  One was apple, and one was blueberry.  He would be in sweets heaven when he got home and saw what she'd been working on all day. 

She hummed a little tune as she rolled out the dough for the cinnamon rolls, standing beside the table, when the door slammed open loudly, banging against the wall.  She looked up, startled.  Colin wasn't due back for several hours, and she had never heard him slam anything.  He was too gentle for that.

Her face drained of color when she saw who was there.  John.  She swallowed hard as she looked up into his angry eyes.  He must have heard back from Elizabeth and blamed her for whatever had been said.  "John.  How can I help you."  She didn't let her eyes drift over to where the shotgun was, but she was happy she had a rolling pin in her hand.  It may be a cliché female weapon, but it was sturdy, and she could defend herself with it if need be.

"Did you tell the mail order bride woman not to send me another bride?  Why are you trying to ruin my life?"  He stalked across the room toward her, and she held tightly to the rolling pin in her hand, afraid, but not willing to show it.  "Every time I turn around you're acting like you're better than me somehow.  You won't give me the biggest piece of cake.  You tell your friend not to send me another bride.  Did you forget that I paid for your train ticket out here?"

"I'd be happy to reimburse you for the train ticket.  Do you remember what it cost?" she asked, hoping that would appease him.

"I don't want the money.  I want a wife.  How are you going to get me a wife?"  John's voice had raised in volume to the point where she was certain he was out of control.  He was obviously very angry with her.

"I did not tell her not to send you another bride.  I did tell her what happened between us, and she came to her own conclusions about sending you another bride."  She kept her voice calm and even as she spoke to him, trying to keep him from getting even angrier than he already was.  An angry John was not something she wanted in her home while Colin was out on the range.  She had no idea if he was close enough to hear her scream, and was too afraid of angering John more to try it.

He walked around the table, glaring at her.  "You come out here, with your limp and your innocent eyes and keep me from getting a wife.  Who do you think you are that you get to do that?"  He looked over at the work table.  "By all rights those pies should be mine.  I shouldn't have to beg to get a small piece of cake that Colin decides is good enough for me."

Elaine watched him stalk across the room, she followed him toward the work table.  "I could get you a piece of pie if you'd like."  She still clutched the rolling pin, knowing she wasn't close enough to the shotgun to grab it and do herself any good at all.  If only she were faster on her feet!

He grabbed the rolling pin from her hand while she was distracted and threw it across the room.  He sat down at the table and smiled at her.  "Yes, get me a piece of pie.  Just like you get Colin pie and cake and whatever else he wants."

Elaine served him a piece of pie and went back to the work table.  She inched toward the shotgun.  She didn't feel safe being there alone with him, even though he hadn't really done anything threatening except act strangely and yell a bit.  Of course, he'd stolen her only protection from her, but did that mean he planned to hurt her?

He watched her.  "You going to try to get that gun?  I promise you, I'm a lot faster than you are."  He looked at her for a moment as if seeing her for the first time.  "You know, I never noticed it before, but you are a pretty little thing. I think I see what Colin likes about you." He stood up and walked toward her, his eyes filled with anger. Elaine put one hand, unnoticed, on the only weapon she had access to. John strode toward her and put an arm around her waist and started to draw her towards him roughly. With a flash, she shoved her weapon into his face.

He staggered backward a couple of steps, trying to clear cooked blueberry and dough from his eyes while she scrambled toward the gun. By the time he could see clearly, he was staring into the barrel of a loaded shotgun.  She could see that he was shocked a lame woman like she was had been able to move so quickly. 

“Ha! You think you scare me with that thing? I’m surprised you even know which way to point it, you stupid, gimpy woman. You don’t have the gumption to shoot a squirrel.”  He reached toward her, making it clear that she was either going to have to shoot him, or he was going to take her weapon away.

Elaine knew he was right. She didn’t want to shoot anyone. But she also knew that she was finally with a good man, and she wasn’t willing to let anyone take her happiness away from her.  She closed her eyes as she squeezed the trigger, saying a silent prayer that she'd hurt him enough to keep him from coming after her, but not enough to kill him.  She didn't want to kill anyone!

John was laughing as he lunged toward her, the taunting smile was frozen on his face as the report of the gun blast coincided with blood gushing from his chest. Laughter turned to shock as he looked down at his own his chest, clutching it as he collapsed to the floor.   The little gimp had killed him.

*****

Colin was mending fences, once of his least favorite chores on the ranch, when he heard a single shotgun blast. He felt a sense of dread wash over him as he immediately thought of Elaine and that idiot John. He had no way of knowing whether it was her or not, but he had to assume it was.  Without thinking, he jumped on his horse and began running full speed back toward the house.  Even if nothing was wrong, he'd rather look like an idiot than have his wife hurt while he just stood there and kept working.  He prayed the whole way.

*****

Elaine had removed her apron and was applying pressure to the wound as best she could, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. Not that it would do any good. She couldn’t get him into town by herself. She knew that no matter how hard she tried, this man was going to die, and she knew it was her fault.  The tears rolled down her cheeks as she fought to save him.  He was a bad man, but no one deserved to die in such a brutal way.  She would never be able to live with herself if he died.  She knew she was sobbing, but she couldn't help it.

Colin heard her sobs from outside, and was thrilled she was alive, but more worried than ever.  Was she lying on the floor injured?  He opened the door and froze. He realized immediately what must have happened, but he was torn between letting the jackass die and helping his wife save his miserable hide. His decision was made for him when she pleaded, “Help me!”  He couldn't let him die and force his wife to live with the guilt that came with killing a man.  Her tear ravaged face spurred him into action.

A few minutes later John was loaded in the back of the wagon, and they were headed to town. Colin drove as fast as he could while Elaine knelt in the back, applying pressure to John’s wounds.  Her knee was screaming at her to get up, but she couldn't.  If she had to do herself further injury to save a man's life, then she had no choice.  Her pain was nothing in comparison to the sanctity of life.

Colin pulled up in front of the doctor's office, and yelled at a man standing on the boardwalk, just staring at them.  "Help me with him!" Why did people stand like they were idiots in a crisis? 

The two worked together to carry John inside, while Elaine sat in the back of the wagon, her face in her hands, and her entire body covered with blood. She was shaking dramatically with the sobs the wracked her body. She knew that she would have to burn everything she was wearing, because there was nothing she could do for the blood stains that covered the front of her dress.  How could she ever look at the garment again and not thinking of taking a man's life.

Colin left John with the doctor and ran back out to his wife, gathering her against him and holding her tightly.  "Did he hurt you?"  He couldn't believe he'd been so focused on John that h hadn't thought to ask his wife if she'd been injured yet.  What was his problem?

Elaine sniffled and shook her head.  "No.  He didn't get the chance."  She could see that Colin was worried, but she was fine.

"What's the blue all over his face?  He looked like he's covered in blueberries."  He was confused as to what had happened to the other man.  The blue couldn't have been from the shotgun blast, though.

Elaine's eyes met his, and she inappropriately felt laughter building up inside her.  "He took my rolling pin away and told me I'd never reach the shotgun before he did.  He tried to touch me, so I threw a pie in his face, and while he was getting the blueberry out of his eyes, I ran for the gun."  She couldn't figure out why she suddenly found the way she'd protected herself so amusing, but she did.

Colin pulled her face into his chest and stroked her hair, which had come out of its usually neat knot and was cascading down her back.  "You did the right thing.  But did you have to use my pie?  Blueberry's my favorite!"  He shook his head, wondering why after the chaotic events of the day, he was worried about a lost pie.

Elaine let out a wild giggle.  "I knew it would keep him from being able to see.  Besides, I'd already given him a piece of the apple."  She thought about the cinnamon rolls that were ruined as well.  "I was making you cinnamon rolls, but he came in without knocking.  He was angry because Elizabeth told him she wouldn't send him another bride, and he acted crazy."  She shuddered, clinging to Colin, putting weight on her leg for the first time since she'd knelt the whole way to town, surprised that it held her.

Colin looked down at her, his eyes searching hers.  "You're sure he didn't hurt you?"  He would go into the doctor's office and strangle him if he'd hurt her in any way.  No man should ever touch his wife but him.

She shook her head.  "No, he didn't.  My leg hurts a lot now, because I knelt the whole way into town, but he never had a chance to hurt me."  She sighed.  "I hope he lives.  I hate the idea that I could have killed a man." 

"Even a man like John who really wouldn't be missed by anyone?"  Colin shook his head at her soft-heartedness, but he knew that if she were any other way, he wouldn't love her nearly as much as he did.

Elaine nodded. "Even a man like John.  He must have a mother somewhere!"  She looked toward the doctor's office, wondering what was going on.  "Do you think he'll live?"  She hoped he would, even if it was just to stand trial for his crimes.  She didn't want to be responsible for his death.

Colin shrugged.  "I really don't know.  Let's go talk to the doc and find out."  He had his arm firmly around her shoulders as he led her into the doctor's office.  John was laid out on the table and had been stripped to the waist while the doctor used a tweezers to pluck the shot from his chest.

"You the one who shot him?"  The doctor looked up at her as she stepped into the room, obviously curious about a woman who could shoot a man.

"Yes, I shot him.  He was going to hurt me."  Elaine clenched her hands together.

"You saved his life too, keeping him from bleeding more. You did a good job.  I'm almost done here, but I'm sure he'll live.  Of course, he'll spend the rest of his life in prison after what he tried to do to you, but that's better than dead, right?"  He took out the last of the shots, and dropped the tweezers.  He walked to the sink and washed his hands, using soap and water. 

"Thank you for helping him," Elaine whispered.  She was too shocked by what had happened to know what to say.  The doctor had automatically believed her story, which surprised her a little.  John must truly have a bad reputation in town for everyone to believe a newcomer like her without even letting him tell his side of things.  "How long will he have to stay here?" she asked.

The doctor shrugged.  "With his history, I'm sure the sheriff is going to come get him and take him off to stay in the jail.  I'll check on him, but they won't want him to stay here at all."  The doctor seemed to think that was for the best.  He obviously didn't want John around any longer than necessary.

"Will I need to talk to the sheriff?"

The doctor nodded.  "That's a good idea.  Just go do it now and get it over with.  No one is going to be surprised, considering who was shot.  John's not exactly an upstanding citizen."

Colin led her out of the office and down the street toward the sheriff's office.  "Is your leg going to support you?  Or do you want me to get the wagon and drive you?"  He kept his arm around her waist as they walked, obviously afraid to let her get more than a few steps from him.

"I can walk.  I'm really surprised that it's holding up as well as it is.  I think all the exercise it gets from cooking and cleaning has been good for it."  She was so glad he was holding her so closely, though.  She wasn't sure her legs would carry her otherwise, and it had nothing to do with her injury.  She was still feeling very shaky after the events of the day.

He opened the door to the sheriff's office for her, and Sheriff Goodman took one look at the state of Elaine's dress and got to his feet.  "What happened?" 

Elaine sank into the chair in front of his desk and took a deep breath.  "I need to start at the beginning."  Her hand automatically went to her bad leg, massaging it through her dress.

The sheriff held up a hand.  "Sounds like a long story.  I need to know if there's anyone dead or if I need to get the doc before you start."

Colin shook his head.  "No one's dead, and the injured man is with the doc now."  Colin answered the questions quickly, knowing the sheriff wouldn't be able to listen to the story his wife was about to tell him if he had to worry about whether or not a man was dying.

Sheriff Goodman took his seat and propped his hands under his chin with his elbows on his desk.  "Take your time, then."

"Near the beginning of October, I answered an advertisement to be a mail order bride, back in my hometown of Beckham, Massachusetts."  She went on to explain how she'd answered John's letter, and what had happened when she arrived.  She told him how she'd ended up marrying Colin instead.  All the details of the story came rushing out of her mouth, while Colin sat beside her holding her hand for support. 

It wasn't until the events of that day were recounted that Colin's jaw clenched.  "It's a good thing you'd already shot him when I got there, because I'd have killed him with my bare hands."  He was angry that he hadn't had a chance to pound some sense into the other man.  He wished their sheriff wasn't such a good man, because he'd have loved the opportunity to pummel John into a bloody pulp.

The sheriff looked at Colin.  "Enough from you."  He leaned back in his chair and sighed.  "Doc says John is going to live?"

Elaine nodded.  "Yes, he thinks he's going to live."  She didn't have to say how relieved she was by that fact, because it showed clearly all over her face.

"I'll get him transferred to my jail as soon as he's well enough for it."  He stood up and walked around the desk.  "I know it's hard to shoot a man, but you did the right thing.  No one in town is going to be surprised that John tried to hurt a lady.  He'll be spending a long time behind bars.  Don't you worry about that."  He looked over at Colin.  "You've got a fine wife here.  You the one who taught her to shoot?"

Colin nodded.  "I was worried about what John might do."  He didn't tell the sheriff how proud he was that Elaine had been able to keep her head together enough to follow his instructions.  He knew it went without saying.  His wife was a truly amazing woman.

"Good job.  I wish all men would teach their women how to take control of a situation like that." 

Elaine smiled.  "I'm truly blessed that John rejected me and Colin married me instead."  She squeezed Colin's hand, knowing his support had gotten her through the telling of the story.  She didn't know what she'd done in life to deserve such a good man, but she was glad she had him.

The sheriff shook his head.  "I don't think you have any idea how blessed you really are.  Let me know where you live, and I'll ride out there if I have any other questions for you.  I think this case is clear as can be, though.  You have nothing to worry about Mrs. Monroe."  Sheriff Goodman held his hand out to shake Colin's. 

Colin shook the older man's hand, feeling relieved that going over the whole thing was finally over. 

Elaine got to her feet shakily, and immediately Colin came up behind her to support her.  "Are you ready to go home?" he asked.  He led her out the door and onto the street.  He couldn't wait to get her home, so he could hold her and make certain she really was all right.

She nodded, leaning heavily against him.  "Oh, no!  I didn't make supper!"  How could she have forgotten to feed him?  She knew it wasn't really her fault, but she hadn't even thought about it through the chaos of the day.

Colin laughed and shook his head.  "You had more important things on your mind."  He looked at the restaurant across the street and back at her.  "We could go to the restaurant."  He didn't mind eating there often as long as she was feeling up to going.

She looked down at her dress and back at him.  "I doubt if they'd even let me in looking this way."  They did need to eat, though, and she had nothing she could fix terribly quickly unless he wanted breakfast foods.  "I can make bacon and eggs or pancakes," she suggested.

Colin frowned for a moment.  "They have ready-made dresses at the mercantile.  Let's see if there's something that will suit you."  He didn't even want to think of what a ready-made dress would cost, but just then he didn't care.  He needed her to be comfortable, and he knew she wouldn't be as long as she was wearing a dress splattered with John's blood.

They went into the mercantile, and Mr. Judd rushed out from behind the counter.  "Are you hurt?"  His eyes traveled up and down Elaine, searching for an injury.

Colin shook his head.  "No, she's fine. We need a ready-made dress, though.  Have you got anything in her size?"  He looked around for the dresses he'd seen there before.

The shopkeeper looked her up and down for a moment before he went over to his display of dresses.  "I think this will fit her just fine."  He handed them a pretty dress with pink flowers on it.

Elaine accepted it and his invitation to go into the back room to change.  The blood had soaked into her corset and petticoat, but she knew that she could leave them in the sun to be bleached back to a perfect white.  She changed quickly and looked into the mirror hanging on the wall.  Good.  The blood didn't show through. 

She did her best to put her hair back into its usual knot before leaving the back room.  It wasn't easy without a brush, but she wasn't about to buy a brush when she had a perfectly good one at home.  She'd grabbed her purse before leaving and walked to the counter, paying for her dress before Colin had a chance.  "Would you burn my old dress, Mr. Judd?  I left it in the back room."  Even touching it again would upset her, and she just didn't want to have to do it.

The older man nodded, exchanging a look with Colin that let her know that her husband had explained what happened.   She left, holding onto his arm.  "Thank you for letting me pay for my own dress."  She had expected him to argue but was thrilled when he hadn't.

He sighed.  "If I'd thought to bring any money, I wouldn't have."  He shook his head, annoyed at his own lack of foresight.

"I know, but it was only right that I pay for it because it's my fault I was covered in blood."  She tried to reason with him, so he wouldn't mind that she'd paid.

"How was it your fault?"  He couldn't see how that would make sense to anyone but her.

"Well, a normal person would have left him there to bleed to death.  Then we just would have had to scrub the floor, which wouldn't have messed up my dress."  Elaine shrugged as she said the words, knowing they were the truth.

"You wouldn't be you if you had let him die. I married a special woman, and I'm so glad I did."  Colin held the door for the restaurant for her, taking her to a table in the corner of the room.

For the first time, Elaine believed his words.  He really did love her.  He'd never said one word against her and the way she'd killed John.  She'd felt so weak and helpless when it came to being a wife, but she wasn't.  She'd not only shown that she was a good wife and cook, but she had saved herself rather than standing around and waiting for Colin to rescue her.

One they were seated, she decided what she wanted to eat, and then leaned back in her chair.  "Thank you for helping me get him to town."  She knew that it wasn't something he'd wanted to do, because even from the beginning, she'd seen the desire to add to the other man's injuries in her husband's eyes.

Colin shook his head.  "How could I not help you?  You were obviously upset about it.  I had to do something."  He sighed.  "I do wish I'd been there to help you, though, instead of getting there after the fact."  He would have given anything to have been the one to shoot the other man instead of her.

"I don't."  She reached out and grasped his hand, smiling up at the waitress and giving her order.

After Colin had ordered and the waitress had left, he looked at her for a moment with surprise in his eyes.  "You don't wish I'd been there to help?"  Why wouldn't she want him there to help her?  What was she thinking now?  He loved the woman, but sometimes her thoughts made no sense to him at all.

She shook her head.  "I honestly think it was something I needed to do on my own.  I'm always so worried that I'm not strong enough or able to take care of myself.  Now, I know that if the situation calls for it, I'm perfectly capable of doing what I need to do.  I may fall apart afterward, but I can handle the situation."  She wasn't ashamed of falling apart, though, because it had been the logical, natural thing to do.  For her.

"There was never any doubt in my mind."  He brought her fingers to his lips.  "When I saw you that first day, your eyes were full of anger toward John.  It was obvious that you thought he was acting like a child, and you were glad he was leaving you there.  And then, when I came over, you didn't immediately jump at the chance to marry me, and be taken care of.  You already had a plan, and you didn't need a man to make your plan work."

"But I did marry you."  What was he saying?

"But you chose to marry me.  I could see that you would have been content to just go find yourself a boarding house and take life by the horns.  You're a very strong woman, and I have always admired you for that."  His voice was calm and steady as he told her how he felt about her strength.  Not many women would have handled either situation nearly as well as his beautiful wife had with seemingly little effort.

She smiled at him, her face lighting up.  "You once told me that you wanted me to be able to see myself through your eyes.  I think maybe I can finally."  She was starting to see herself as a strong woman, capable of dealing with anything that life threw at her.  She knew that's how he saw her as well, and it pleased her to no end.

"Then you know that you're an amazing woman whom I love more than I can ever express?"  He watched her eyes as he said the words, knowing that she would suddenly look sad if she didn't believe him.  How someone as special as she was didn't realize how incredible she was, really stunned him.  This time, though, her eyes didn't look sad.  They glistened with tears, but they were happy tears.

"I love you too.  I just...I guess I was so convinced that I just wasn't lovable that it was impossible for me to believe what you were saying."  She watched as his face lit up with happiness, and she realized then how much her lack of belief in his love had made him feel.  "I'm sorry I didn't believe you before."

He shook his head.  "Just so you believe me now, I'm happy."  And he was.  She believed he loved her, and she'd even said she loved him too.  He needed to get her alone so he could hold her the way he wanted to.

As they ate, both of them were watching the other, the reality of their love new to each of them.  On the drive home, she sat close to him, her head resting on his shoulder.  When he stopped beside the river where they'd once picnicked, she was happy, because she badly wanted to kiss him, but she wasn't willing to distract him while he drove.

He turned to her on the seat and slipped both arms around her, pressing his lips to hers.  He clutched her to him and kissed her as he'd been longing to do since he'd found her kneeling over John.  He had needed to know she was fine, and now, finally he was convinced.  "I'm so glad he didn't hurt you," he mumbled against her lips.

She pressed closer to him, happy to finally be able to escape in his arms.  She'd been frightened half the day, and she'd needed his arms around her more than she'd ever needed anything.  How was it that his love had showed her exactly how much she was worth?

Epilogue

Elaine turned away from the basin where she'd just finished the breakfast dishes and walked over to sit across from her mother, who was going home the following day.  The whole time she and her father had been there, Elaine had felt her disappointment, but she'd not let it bother her.  She was a strong woman, and she did a good job keeping house for her husband.

"Are you ready to go back, Mother?" she asked softly, trying to make conversation that wouldn't make either of them angry.

Cassandra nodded.  "I miss your sisters.  I know your two younger sisters are in good hands with your older sisters, but it seems strange to have a holiday season without all of you around."  She sighed, looking around the small house.  "When I first came to Kansas, I was certain you'd made a big mistake.  I was all ready to try to talk you into coming back home where you belong."

Elaine looked down at her hands.  She'd done well with not getting overly upset over her mother's negativity during the visit, but she could feel it starting to build.  "You were?"

"Yes, I was, but then I came out here and saw how little you had, but how you'd made it a home."  She waved her hand around the room, pointing out the small touches Elaine had made over the years.  "Everything is beautiful."  She looked at her daughter with surprise.  "And you cook like a dream.  I've enjoyed every meal you've fixed for us.  Where did you learn to cook that way?"

Elaine grinned.  "I sneaked into the kitchen every time you left the house and begged Mrs. Jenkins to teach me to cook."

Cassandra shook her head at her middle daughter.  "I should have known.  I guess I have to admit that you moving out here was the right thing to do.  I can see that your limp is even better.  The sitting never did anything to strengthen your leg, but the way you do all the work here has really improved it.  I never thought I'd say this, but I'm happy you defied me and moved to Kansas."

Elaine stared at her mother in shock.  "Even though you know what happened with John?"

Cassandra sighed.  "I could have done without that part of the story, but I'm happy that you were able to protect yourself.  I've known for a long time that you were unhappy at home, and I just wasn't willing to let you go.  Every time you walked away from me, I saw you as that little girl you were when you were ten, all curled up under that tree with your leg bleeding and bent so oddly."  A tear trickled down her cheek.  "I have to say that I'm proud of you, though, Elaine.  You came out here and you've faced a lot of adversities.  You have gone through things that would have had a lesser woman running home to her mother.  Now, while you're still welcome to do that any time you want to, I think you've married a good man.  This place is really where you belong."

Elaine felt the tears prick her eyes at her mother's words.  She'd never thought to hear the older woman say that she was proud of her.  She honestly hadn't thought she was capable of saying the words, at least to her.  "Thank you, Mother.  That means a lot to me."  Her hand went to her stomach, and she rubbed it, thinking of the new life growing there.  Her mother had been ecstatic at the news that she would soon be a grandmother again, but not nearly as ecstatic as she'd been when she'd found out.

"Have you been thinking about what you're going to name my granddaughter yet?"

Elaine grinned.  "I'm not sure why you're so certain it's a girl.  I'm having a boy.  Don't you think it was time for Father to have some grandsons?"  Elaine's older sisters had thus far produced five girls between them.  Not one boy had yet been born to her family.

"It is time, but don't get your hopes up.  For some reason the women in our family only seem to be able to produce girls.  There are never any boys as you well know."

"This one will be a boy. I'm sure of it."  Elaine had never wanted anything as much as she wanted the child she carried to be a boy.  He would help his father on the ranch and carry on the Monroe name.  No, she wouldn't have a girl.  Not this time, anyway.  Maybe next time she'd have a girl.  She wanted a houseful of children.

"I'll let you think that."  Cassandra smiled.  "I'm so glad your father and I came out here to check on you.  You've done very well for yourself.  Now I can go home and stop worrying."

"Oh, Mother.  I would never take the fun of worrying from you."

"Oh, very funny! You just wait until your daughter up and moves several states away to marry a man you've never met.  See how you like it."

Elaine said nothing, knowing that she would be sure to raise strong confident daughters who could do just that.  She'd make sure of it.

Looking for more books by Kirsten Osbourne?

Brides of Beckham Series

Mail Order Mayhem

Mail Order Mama

Mail Order Madness

Mail Order Mix Up

Mail Order Mistake

Mail Order Maternity

Mail Order Match Maker

Mail Order Motherhood

Mail Order Meddler

Anthology With Others (Including Mail Order Matron)

Western Kisses

Dallas Billionaires Series

Steven

Justin

Cody

Stand Alone Books

Dream Lover

Making Me Believe

All For Emma

Making Deals

Lies

Suitors of Seattle

Rose

Lily

Amaryllis

Daisy

Jasmine

Regencies

Loving Lily

Courting Constance

Writing as Morganna Mayfair

Thrice Blessed Trilogy

Conquered

Stenwick Siblings Trilogy

The Earl's Design of Love