Mail Order Meddler

Book Ten in the Brides of Beckham

By Kirsten Osbourne

Copyright 2014 Kirsten Osbourne

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Francis knew something needed to change immediately.  He was only sixteen, but he understood that his family couldn’t keep living on bread and beef jerky.  In town one day, he noticed an advertisement for a mail order bride, and sent off a letter…after signing his older brother’s name.  He’d just make sure to tell Andrew that his fiance was coming before she arrived.  What could go wrong?

Tracy had lived in an orphanage since she was just a few months old.   She only had a month before she turned eighteen and had to find a new place to live, complete with employment or a wedding ring.  There were no jobs worth taking for a young woman, so she answered a letter requesting a mail order bride.  Andrew sounded perfect.  She’d meet him, and he’d be thrilled to see her, and they’d live happily ever after.  Right?

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Prologue

May 1868

The young woman set the basket on the front step of the orphanage and wiped a tear from her eye.  She didn’t want to give up her baby, but with her husband dead, and no family left, there was nothing else she could do.  She’d come back for her when she could, and they would be a family.

She knocked on the door and hurried away, watching from behind a tree as a plump matronly woman picked up her little girl and held her to her shoulder, patting her back lovingly.  Yes, her baby would be well taken care of here.  She hurried off.  Tomorrow was her first day as a maid cleaning for a rich woman in Boston.  She really had to hurry or she’d be late.

*****

January 1885

Andrew Harvey stared down into his mother’s coffin.  They’d buried his father just four days before, and now his mother was gone too.  He looked at his younger siblings.  He was only twenty.  How could he be expected to take care of them all?  He couldn’t send them to an orphanage, though.  No, they would stay together.  The ranch could sustain them.

His younger siblings, Francis, Arthur, and Matilda were all weeping uncontrollably.  He wanted to shake them.  What did they have to cry about?  He was the one with three mouths to feed and more responsibility than he could handle.

He stood stoically as the men and women of their community shook their hands and offered condolences.  “You let me know if you need anything,” an older woman who lived two miles from their ranch said.

Andrew nodded.  “Yes, ma’am.”  He knew he wouldn’t though.  The four siblings would make it on their own.  They weren’t charity cases and never had been.  Why, Mama would roll over in her grave if she thought they were out begging.

Chapter One

March 1886

Francis Harvey was in town buying supplies when he spotted the newspaper.  He picked it up and flipped through it.  They didn’t get to town often, except for church, so they didn’t really know what was going on with the world.  In the want ads, he spotted an ad that he couldn’t stop staring at.  “Are there too few women around you?  Do you need a wife?  Send a letter to Elizabeth Miller at 300 Rock Creek Road Beckham, Massachusetts.  Mail order brides available.  Small matching fee applies.”

Francis read through the advertisement once more, wondering what Andrew would do if he sent off a letter to this woman for him.  Things were bad at home, though.  They were living off of beef jerky and whatever bread they could buy from the mercantile.  Matilda would pick berries, and they’d have those for dessert.  They needed someone to cook and clean for them.  He couldn’t do it.  Mattie needed someone to teach her.  So did he and Arthur for that matter.

He went into the mercantile and asked for a pencil and paper, deciding to do it while he had his confidence up.  How to word the letter?  He sat down on a bench in front of the mercantile and quickly wrote out his family’s situation, explaining what he wanted in a sister-in-law but said wife and signed his brother’s name.  Yes, that would do nicely. 

He walked it back into the mercantile for the owner, George, to post.  It was the only post office in Nowhere, Texas.  He knew it was a silly name for a town, but it was the only one they had.  Hopefully potential brides wouldn’t be afraid to travel to a place called Nowhere.

*****

Tracy Beckham had been found on the orphanage steps when she was just a few weeks old.  There was a note in the basket she was left in that said, “This is Tracy.  Please take care of my beautiful baby.  I cannot.  I will return for her as soon as I can.  Signed, Her Loving Mother.” 

Because of that note, no one had been willing to adopt Tracy.  The orphanage had always waited for her mother to come back for her.  Now that Tracy was almost eighteen it was time for her to find her own way in the world.  On her way home from school, she stopped at the mercantile to check the bulletin board to see if there were any new advertisements for jobs.

She looked through them.  Looked like all the same ones she always saw.  Someone needed a farm hand.  One family needed a cook, but they had a terrible reputation.  There were no other jobs for women.  None.  There was the advertisement for a mail order bride that was there every week, but she wasn’t that desperate, was she?

She pulled out her slate and jotted down the address.  Yes, she was that desperate.  She didn’t have much longer before she had to move out of the orphanage.  Her time was up. 

She left the mercantile and walked the short distance to Rock Creek Road.  She needed to see Elizabeth Miller there.  She knew some of the volunteers who had helped at the orphanage over the years had ended up being mail order brides, and she’d heard no horror stories.  It couldn’t be that bad, could it?

Tracy stopped in front of the huge house with the address she’d jotted down.  This couldn’t be right, could it?  She checked her slate again before marching up to the door and knocking.  She held her breath as she waited, more nervous than she ever remembered being.  What if Elizabeth Miller told her she’d make a terrible mail order bride?  She didn’t know why she would, because Tracy was good at cleaning, cooking, and minding children.  What more did a woman need to be a bride?

She straightened her skirt as she waited for someone to come to the door.  A tall man in his twenties answered the door.  He had blond hair and sparkling blue eyes and looked to be of Scandinavian descent.  “May I help you?” he asked, very politely, but not in the cultured tones Tracy expected of a butler.

“I’m here to see Elizabeth Miller, please.”

The man stepped aside and invited her inside.  “This way, please.”  He led her to the end of the hall and opened the last door on the left.  “Miss Miller?  There is someone here to see you.”

Elizabeth looked up with a smile.  She was much younger than what Tracy had expected, not much older than she was herself.  When she got to her feet and hurried across the room, her welcoming smile removed the last of Tracy’s fears.  “I’m Tracy Beckham.”

“Sit down!”  Elizabeth looked at her butler.  “Bernard, would you mind bringing us tea and some cookies please?”

“Of course not, Miss Miller.”

Tracy took the seat she was offered on the sofa and smiled at the young woman who had returned to her spot at her desk.  “I’m here about the advertisement for a mail order bride.”

Elizabeth nodded, looking her up and down carefully.  Tracy wanted to hide the patches on her worn clothes, but there was no way to do that.  Her long red hair was neatly brushed and styled and her clothes were clean.  She couldn’t do more than that.  “How old are you, Tracy?”

“I’ll be eighteen next month.  At least that’s what we think.”  Tracy knew she was going to have to explain that statement, and she really didn’t want to have to.

“You think?”

“I was left on the doorstep of the orphanage here in town when I was just an infant.  They’re not sure how old I was, but I’ll either be eighteen this month or next.”  Tracy wasn’t ashamed of being an orphan, but she certainly wasn’t proud of it either.  This woman lived in a beautiful house in the best part of Beckham.

“Is that how you got your last name?  They named you after the town?”

Tracy nodded. “Mrs. Spivy, the woman who cares for us, picked it out for me.  My birth name was Tracy, though.  It was written on the note attached to my basket.”

“I see.”  Elizabeth frowned for a moment, before turning to her desk.  “Let’s see if we can find someone for you to marry.  We don’t match up women who are under eighteen, but since you’ll obviously be over eighteen before I could send you out, it doesn’t really matter.”

Tracy waited while the other woman sorted through a stack of letters on her desk, finally pulling one from the pile.  “I think this one will suit you best.  Read it and let me know what you think.”

Tracy reached out and took the letter, her hand shaking slightly.  Was she actually touching a piece of paper her future husband had touched?  Tracy spent a great deal of time lost in books and was a hopeless romantic.  What she wanted to find more than anything was a man who would love her with everything inside him.  Was there any way this man, whose name she hadn’t even read yet, would be that man?

Her eyes drifted down the page, and she read the words he’d written.  “Dear Bride, I’m a twenty-one year old man who owns a ranch near Nowhere, Texas.  My parents died a little over a year ago and left me with three younger siblings to take care of.  I love them all, but I’m having trouble being both mother and father to them.  My sixteen year old brother, Francis, is a huge help to me, but he can’t parent the others either.  I need someone who doesn’t mind cooking, cleaning, and all the things that come with keeping house.  I have two brothers, and they help me on the ranch, but my sister, Matilda, is only seven and she needs to be taken under a woman’s wing.  If you like children, and don’t mind moving to a place called Nowhere, TX, I’d love to hear from you.  We don’t have a whole lot, but we certainly have enough for one more.  I’d like a woman who is in the eighteen to twenty age-range and doesn’t mind working hard.  If this describes you, please write me soon.  Sincerely, Andrew Harvey.”

Tracy read the words again before setting the letter down.  She liked the idea of having children to take care of right off, and then maybe having some of her own.  She was used to helping out with the younger children at the orphanage and cooking for large numbers of people.  It wouldn’t hurt her one little bit to just keep doing what she’d been doing since she was old enough to help out.

“Andrew seems just right for me.  What now?”

Elizabeth smiled, her blue eyes sparkling with joy.  Tracy had never met anyone who genuinely loved their job as Elizabeth obviously did.  “Well, you need to write him back.  Tell him all about yourself.  We’ll get a letter back in around one month, and he’ll either say ‘yes’ or ‘no.’  If it’s yes, there will be money included along with a train ticket.  If no, we’ll find someone else.”  Elizabeth winked at Tracy.  “It’s never been ‘no.’”

Tracy accepted the pencil and paper Elizabeth offered her and started writing, explaining about herself as well as she could.  When she was finished, she folded the letter in half and handed it to Elizabeth.  “How will I know when you get a response?”

“I’ll come by the orphanage with it.”  Bernard came into the room then with the tea and cookies. 

Tracy curled her legs under her and nibbled while she talked to the other girl.  “I wonder what Texas is like!”

Elizabeth grinned and took a sip of her tea.  “My sister went there as a mail order bride a couple of years back.  She would answer that question with one word.”

Tracy raised an eyebrow.  “What word?”

“Hot!”

Tracy giggled.  “I hate winter.  Hot sounds pretty good to me!”

“Susan is near Fort Worth.  I’m not sure where Nowhere, Texas is, though.  I’m guessing…the middle of nowhere?”

“Wherever it is, I’ll finally have a family that I belong with. That’s important to me.”

Elizabeth smiled.  “It would be important to an orphan.  I was happy to escape from my family for a bit.  I have eleven brothers and sisters.”

Tracy’s eyes widened.  “That’s a lot of siblings.”

“It is.”  Elizabeth’s face turned serious.  “How long will you be able to stay in the orphanage?”

Tracy shrugged.  “Another two months at most.  They give us a little bit of extra time when we need it, but the house is always full.”

“I’ll get this mailed off first thing in the morning then.” 

“That sounds good.  Thank you for all your help.”  Tracy got to her feet and smiled at the older girl.  “I’ll see you soon, I hope.”

Elizabeth saw her out and stood at the door watching her go.  She turned to Bernard.  “See what you can find out about Andrew Harvey in Nowhere, Texas.  I think we’re going to send our youngest bride ever there.”

“I’ll see to it.”  Bernard stepped away quickly, going to write his own letters. 

*****

Francis went into town with only Matilda in tow one afternoon in late April.  The two of them had been going to town together every Monday since he’d sent off the letter to Massachusetts.  He needed to make sure he read the letter before Andrew saw it. 

Francis had tried to bring up the idea of a mail order bride to Andy, suggesting logically that a wife would be the answer to a lot of their problems.  Andy had flat out refused to even consider it.  “A wife wouldn’t solve my problems.  She’d be just one more person looking to me for the answers, and I just don’t feel like I have any.” 

Francis tried again.  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.  You’ve done a great job with all of us since Ma and Pa died.”

Andy had looked at him in shock.  “Have you seen the state of this house?  Ma would roll over in her grave if she knew how dirty this place was.”  He was ashamed of how dirty he’d let it get, but he didn’t know how to clean.  At first he’d told his younger brothers that any idiot could do it, and then he’d tried himself, proving any idiot could not do it.

“You’re doing your best.  You need a wife to help.”

“I need a wife like I need to be shot in the head!”  Andy had stalked from the room then, not saying another word. 

Francis stopped the wagon in front of the mercantile and helped Mattie down.  Whether Andy knew he needed a wife or not, they all needed someone to mother them.  Especially Mattie.  He would send for the bride, and Andy would marry her when he was told about her arrival.  He felt too strongly about his responsibilities to do otherwise.

When he walked into the mercantile, the owner called out to him.  “Got a letter for Andy, Francis.  You want it?”

Francis rushed over and took the letter, hoping it would be the one he’d been waiting for.  “Thank you, George.”

George smiled.  “No problem.” 

Francis rushed out and sat on the bench in front of the store, completely forgetting that Mattie was with him.  He tore the letter open and read it.  “Dear Andrew, My name is Tracy Beckham and I’m going to be eighteen next month.  I live in an orphanage here in Massachusetts, and I’ve learned all the wifely skills there.  I love to cook and am quite good at it.  I don’t particularly like to clean, but I’m good at that as well.  I can sew and have been tending the younger children in the orphanage for years.  I feel like I would be able to help you raise your siblings.  I have red hair and green eyes.  I would very much like to complete your family.  I can come whenever you want me.  Sincerely, Tracy Beckham.”

Francis’s face split into a grin as he read the words.  He knew for a fact that Andy was partial to red heads, so he felt that it was a sign that this was the girl who would be the perfect sister-in-law for him.  He rushed into the store and borrowed a pencil again, pulling the money he needed to send out of his pocket and tucking it into the letter.  He ran across the street to the train station and bought a ticket from Beckham, Massachusetts to Nowhere.  Tracy would be on a train bound for Nowhere any day.

He rushed back to the mercantile and gave George the sealed letter.  George was both the mercantile owner and the postmaster of Nowhere.  He was also the mayor.  Of course, with a town the size of Nowhere, there just weren’t enough men around to do all the jobs that needed to be done.

Francis rushed back to Mattie and the two of them bought the goods they needed.  They were there for the same things every single week.  Bread, crackers, and beef jerky.  No one in the family had even attempted to cook since Ma had died, so they ate whatever they could find that didn’t need to be prepared.

“Fwansis, can I get a piece of stick candy?  Please?”

Francis smiled at his sister.  She’d been calling him ‘Fwansis’ since she was tiny and couldn’t say the ‘R’ sound.  Now it was just habit, but he liked it coming from her lips.  “Only if you promise not to tell the others.”  Most of the money he had on him had been sent to Massachusetts.  He was glad he’d thought to bring extra that morning.  “Just one piece.”

Mattie happily looked through the different kinds of candy and selected a peppermint stick.  They bought the other things they needed and started the long drive back to the ranch.  They lived a good hour’s drive from town, and he knew it was a waste to make it every week and lose a half-day’s work, but they couldn’t really keep going without bread, and none of them even knew where to begin making it.  Tracy will know.  She’ll fix everything.

*****

It was mid-May, and school would be out soon.  This was her last year, and Tracy knew that she had little time left at the orphanage.  She’d been there for a full eighteen years.  So many of the babies that came in got adopted, but the letter that had been attached to her basket kept her from being placed with a new family.  When she was young, she’d wondered if her mother ever thought about her and when she would come.  As she’d gotten older she’d forgotten to hope for her mother to come and done everything she could to be wanted and relied on there in the orphanage. 

She wanted to dawdle on her way home, but she knew that there was strawberry jam to be canned, and she was the oldest girl in the house, so it would be her responsibility to help.  She would do it without a single complaint, because acting badly would only get her kicked out sooner.  She was on borrowed time already.

When she opened the kitchen door, the first thing she saw was Elizabeth sitting at the table, a sealed letter in front of her.  Tracy said nothing as she dove for the letter, picking it up and reading it immediately.  “Dear Tracy, You sound like you are the perfect wife for me, but more importantly, the perfect sister-in-law for my younger siblings.  I have enclosed a small amount of money to help you make the trip, and a train ticket.  I can’t wait to see you at the train station.  Yours, Andrew.”

Tracy’s smile lit up her entire face.  She was always a pretty girl, but when she smiled, she became truly beautiful.  She handed the money to Elizabeth not sure how much was hers for her services and how much was her own.  Elizabeth gave most of the money back to her.  “When do you leave?” she asked.

Tracy looked down at the ticket.  “It says May fourteenth.  Why, that’s tomorrow!”

Elizabeth smiled.  “Let’s go get you packed then!”

Tracy shook her head.  “I can’t.  It’s my job to help with the jam.”  She rushed to Mrs. Spivey’s side.  Over her shoulder she said, “I’ll do it later.  There’s not much to do.”

Elizabeth looked undecided for a moment before she smiled at Mrs. Spivey.  “Do you have an extra apron?”

Mrs. Spivey looked Elizabeth up and down before nodding to a peg on the wall.  “Hanging there.”

“Oh, you don’t have to help, Elizabeth!”

Elizabeth shrugged.  “I don’t mind.  When we’re done here, we can pack.  An extra pair of hands will certainly speed up the process.”

The work did go quickly with three of them, and when they had put the lid on the last jar, Elizabeth grabbed Tracy’s hand and dragged her up the stairs.  “Which room is yours?” she asked.

Tracy led Elizabeth into the girls’ room.  There were ten beds lined up against the walls.  Tracy went to her bed and pulled a carpet bag out from under it.  She quickly packed her things into the bag and stood up after snapping it shut.  “There.  Packing is done.”

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.  “What are you taking?”

Tracy shrugged.  “Everything I own that I’m not wearing.  One extra dress for Sundays, an apron, and my Bible.”  She sat down on her perfectly made bed.  “Oh, and a nightgown, of course.”

Elizabeth sighed.  “You should take some fabric with you so you can make an extra dress once you get there.  It’s a different climate.  You’ll need some warm weather dresses.”

Tracy sighed.  “I don’t know how much I’ll be paying for food along my journey.  I don’t think I can afford to waste anything.”  She looked at the money that Andrew had sent.  “It’s not very much.”

Elizabeth looked at it and shook her head.  “No, it’s not.  I’ll buy you some fabric.”  She started toward the door.  “Come with me.  I can afford it.”

Tracy blushed.  She hated being anyone’s charity case, but even more, she hated the idea of showing up for her wedding with no extra clothes at all.  How would that work for her?  “All right.”

Tracy let Mrs. Spivey know where she was going, and the two of them headed for the mercantile.  They spent a few minutes looking around until Tracy spotted a fabric she really liked.  It was a mint green calico with tiny little flowers.  She’d never wanted anything so much in her life as she wanted a pretty dress with that calico.

Elizabeth picked it up and nodded.  “That’s perfect.”  She ordered three yards.  “If you have extra, you can always make another apron or a bonnet from it.”

Tracy nodded, impulsively hugging the other woman.  “Thank you.  I didn’t want to go to him a pauper.”

Elizabeth paid, and the two of them walked back toward the orphanage.  “What time does your train leave tomorrow?”

Tracy pulled the ticket out of her drawstring purse.  “Ten in the morning.”

Elizabeth nodded.  “I’ll meet you at the train station at half past nine.”

“That’s all right.  I can see myself off.”

Elizabeth smiled.  “Let me be a friend and see you off.  I’ll be there at half past nine.”

Tracy shrugged.  She couldn’t control the other woman.  “I’ll be there.”

*****

Tracy arrived at the train station five minutes late the following morning, and her eyes scanned the crowd for Elizabeth.  No matter how much she’d protested the day before, she was glad she wasn’t going to have to get on the train with no one to see her off.  The morning had been difficult and chaotic, and she was glad for the change in her life.  Going to Texas would be good for her.

After a moment, she spotted Elizabeth and hurried through the small crowd to sit on the seat beside her.  “Good morning,” she said, waiting for Elizabeth to notice her there.

“Good morning,” Elizabeth said with a smile.  “Are you ready to go?”  She held up a package of brown paper tied with a string.  “I brought you some sandwiches to make your money stretch.”

Tracy took the sandwiches with a smile.  “Thank you.  I couldn’t take food away from the orphanage.  There’s not always enough as it is.”

Elizabeth nodded, understanding perfectly.  “We didn’t always have enough growing up either.”  She cleared her throat for a moment as if she was thinking about how to word what she wanted to say.  “I just want you to know that if anything goes wrong, all you have to do is contact me, and I’ll send you a train ticket, and you can come back and stay with me if necessary.”

“What do you mean ‘wrong?’” Tracy asked.  What exactly was Elizabeth offering?

“Some men are…not good to their wives,” Elizabeth began.

Tracy had heard a lot of stories from the other children living in the orphanage.  There was one boy there who had been put there when his father beat his mother to death and ended up in prison as a result.  “I know.  I’ve heard a lot of men beat their wives.”  Tracy shrugged.  “It’s a woman’s cross to bear.”

Elizabeth shook her head adamantly.  “No it’s not!  If someone hurts you, get out!  Never allow a man to hurt you.  Do you understand?”

Tracy nodded slowly.  She’d never heard of a woman leaving a man who hit her, but it did make sense.  “I’ll let you know if anything like that happens to me.”

Elizabeth looked relieved.  “Good.”  They both heard the call for the train then.  She got to her feet and hugged Tracy tightly.  “Write to me when you get there to let me know you made it safely.”

“I will.”  She leaned down to pick up her carpet bag and clutched her sandwiches in her other hand.  “Thank you for everything.”

Elizabeth smiled.  “I wish we’d met sooner.  I think we could have become good friends.”

Tracy smiled.  “I’ll write you, and we’ll still become good friends.”

“I’d like that.” 

Tracy rushed toward the train where the conductor was calling for them again.  She looked over her shoulder and waved before plunging into the train and finding her seat.

Chapter Two

Francis watched as his younger siblings went to bed, wringing his hands nervously.  Tracy was due to arrive in Nowhere the following day, and he hadn’t yet gotten up the courage to tell Andy that his wife was about to arrive.  As soon as Arthur went to bed, Francis turned to Andy.  “Do you remember when I told you I thought you should get a mail order bride?” he asked.

Andy shook his head.  “It was a stupid idea then, and it’s a stupid idea now. I’m too busy for a wife.”

Francis sighed.  He’d have to just tell his older brother what he’d done straight out.  “I sent off for a bride for you, before I even suggested it.  She’ll be here tomorrow around two.”

Andy blinked a few times staring at his brother in shock.  “You did what?”

“Andy, we need a woman around here.  We need someone who knows how to cook and clean.  We haven’t eaten a home cooked meal since Ma died.”

“You get married then.  I don’t have time for a bride.”

Francis shook his head.  “She’s expecting to marry you.  I sent for her in your name.”

“Why would you do that, Francis?  Why on God’s green earth would you think I would be okay with not only marrying a woman I’d never met, but one you chose for me?  No, I won’t marry her!”

“But, Andy, she’s an orphan.  She’s from Beckham, Massachusetts.  She’s been traveling for ten days to get here just to marry you.”

“An orphan?  Are you kidding me?  How old is she?  Twelve?”  Andy could just picture his brother sending away for another child for him to care for.

“She’s eighteen.  She has red hair and green eyes.  She likes to cook.  Please, Andy, just marry her.  You’ll have someone to help you with the nonsense we put you through.”

Andy sighed as he stared at his brother.  Why would he do something like that?  He had enough going on just trying to make sure everyone was fed and clothed.  A wife?  What was he supposed to do with a wife?  “I’ll meet her, but just to tell her I’m not going to marry her.  She can get right back on that train and go back East.  I don’t need any woman who doesn’t understand how hard ranch life is here.”

Francis sighed.  If Andy met her, he’d marry her.  He knew his big brother.  Many people had told him to dump all of his younger siblings at an orphanage.  “You don’t need to be responsible for them,” they’d told him.  Andy hadn’t listened.  He took his responsibilities seriously.  He’d feel obligated to marry Tracy, just like he felt obligated to keep all of his siblings. 

There would be real food for dinner tomorrow night and every night thereafter.  Just in time, too.  If he had to eat any more beef jerky, he was going to start vomiting and never stop.

*****

Tracy tried to smooth her wrinkled skirt as she got off the train in Nowhere, Texas.  After traveling for ten days, she was rumpled and particularly out of sorts.  She was going to have to meet her future husband looking like someone who lived in the woods, not a young lady.  She was mortified, and hoped Andrew was forgiving.

She got off the train, the only person to get off there in Nowhere, and looked around her.  The train pulled out before she spotted four people huddled together.  She walked toward them hoping they were the Harveys, because she didn’t know what she’d do otherwise.  She approached them and smiled into the face of the oldest of the four.  “I’m Tracy.  Are you Andrew?”

The man removed his cowboy hat and nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. He had blond hair that was longer than it should be, but Tracy could easily take care of that with a pair of scissors. “Yes, I’m Andy.”  He looked her up and down, surprised by how pretty she was.  “These are my brothers, Francis and Arthur, and my sister, Matilda.”

Tracy smiled nodding to each of them.  “It’s nice to meet all of you.”

Andy tried to find the right words to get her to wait for the next train to come and take her back East.  Before he could speak, Mattie tugged on her dress.  “Will you teach me how to cook?  My brothers say that all women know how to cook, but I don’t know how, and I’m going to be a woman someday.”

Tracy ignored her aching body that had been on bumpy trains for altogether too long, and squatted down in front of the pretty little girl whose blond hair hung limply.  It hadn’t been braided or even brushed and definitely needed to be washed.  “I would love to teach you to cook.”  She leaned forward and whispered into the girl’s ear,  “I’ll teach you how to fix your hair really pretty, too.”

Mattie threw her arms around Tracy and hugged her.  She turned to Andy and said, “Can we keep her, Andy?  Please?”

Andy frowned down at his sister and then looked at the woman in front of him.  He sighed heavily, knowing he couldn’t disappoint Mattie.  “Yes, we’ll keep her.  Let’s go see the preacher.”

Mattie squealed and clapped her hands excitedly.  “Will you be my new mama?”

Tracy shook her head.  “I’ll be your sister-in-law, but you can call me Tracy.”

Mattie took Tracy’s hand in hers.  She looked at Andy expectantly.  “Let’s go find the preacher.  You said.”

Andy looked at Tracy, inexplicably angry with her for expecting him to marry her.  “Is that all you brought?” he asked, nodding at the bag at her feet.  She certainly wasn’t trying to overwhelm them with her possessions.

She nodded, blushing slightly.  “Orphans don’t exactly have a lot of belongings.”  She wouldn’t apologize for not having parents.  He’d agreed to marry her knowing she was an orphan.

The five of them walked down the street toward the preacher’s house.  Tracy was surprised that she was holding hands with Mattie and not with Andrew, but she didn’t say anything about it.  What could she say?  She really didn’t have anywhere else to go, or she’d be there.  She felt a vague sense of disappointment at the way he had acted upon meeting her.  She’d hoped he would at least act like he was happy to meet her, but instead he looked as if he’d rather she was anywhere else in the world.

Of course, in her imagination, he’d taken one look at her and swept her into his arms, kissing her madly right there on the street.  She would blush, but be so happy to finally meet him she would just smile up at him sweetly.

Francis hurried to Tracy’s side, linking his arm through hers.  “So, after the wedding, I thought we could stop at the mercantile and stock up on food.  You are going to cook dinner tonight, right?”

Tracy looked at Francis in surprise.  “I guess I am.”  She squeezed Mattie’s hand.  “Do you want to help me cook?”

Mattie nodded solemnly.  “We’re women, so it’s our job to do the cooking.  I’ll even help you wash the dishes.”

Tracy smiled down at the girl.  “I’d like that a lot.  What do you like to cook?”

Mattie shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Ma didn’t have time to start teaching me to cook before she died, so I’ve never cooked anything.”

“I’ll start teaching you to cook tonight.  Would you like that?”

Mattie nodded with a smile.  “I’d like that a lot.  You’re going to be a good sister, aren’t you?”

“I’ll do my very best.  I’ve never been anyone’s sister.  It will be fun to have a family.”

“How come you don’t have a family?  I have three brothers.”

Tracy shrugged.  “When I was a baby, my mama couldn’t take care of me, so she left me on the doorsteps of an orphanage.  She left a note with me, so everyone would know my name was Tracy and said she’d come back for me, but I guess she never had time.”

Mattie clutched Tracy’s hand tighter.  “We’re your family now.”

Tracy smiled.  “I’m glad.”  She was amazed at how much the little girl understood her need for family and welcomed her accordingly.

Andrew walked to the door of a house and knocked.  An elderly gentleman came to the door.  “Well, hello, Andy.” 

“Good afternoon, Pastor.  I was wondering if you could marry my fiancé, Tracy, and me today?”  He used his thumb to indicate Tracy who was standing behind him holding his sister’s hand.

The older man smiled, his eyes twinkling.  “I’d be happy to.”  He looked at Tracy.  “It’s nice to meet you.  I haven’t seen you at church.”

“Oh, I’m from Massachusetts.  I came here to marry Andrew.”  She said nothing more.  She wasn’t ashamed to be a mail order bride, but it wasn’t the normal way to marry either.

The pastor opened the door wide, inviting them all inside.  “Let me just get my wife, and we’ll get this started.” 

Tracy stood quietly in the parlor of the tiny house waiting for the other woman to arrive.  She wished she knew what to say to Andrew to make him warm up to her, but she had no idea how to talk to a man she’d marry in a few minutes. 

When the pastor came back, there was a plump woman with white hair and dancing blue eyes with him.  She rushed to Tracy and took her hand.  “It’s so nice to meet you.  Andy has needed a good woman for a long time.”

“I’ll do my best to be a good wife to him and a good sister to his siblings.”  Tracy felt as if she were making a formal vow as she said the words.

“I know you will.  It’s in your eyes.”  She patted Tracy’s arm. 

The pastor stood in the center of the room.  “Are we ready to start?”

Tracy took the hint and hurried over to stand beside Andrew.  Everyone had called him Andy, but she’d been thinking of him as Andrew for a month, and changing her thinking was going to be hard. 

She listened as the pastor talked softly about the responsibilities of a husband and wife.  He added some extra words for their situation.  “It will be your responsibility to see that your whole family is fed.  Marriage is hard enough without starting out with three extra people.  Are you sure you’re ready for the responsibility of raising Mattie and Arthur?”  He didn’t add Francis, because Francis was already mostly grown.

“Yes, sir.  I am.”  Tracy hoped she was telling the truth.  Honestly, she felt perfectly capable of cooking and cleaning and mothering, but making Andrew happy seemed like an insurmountable task.  The oldest brother hadn’t smiled yet.  She could understand him feeling like he had a huge burden on his shoulders, but he looked almost angry.

After her agreement he went into the typical marriage vows.  Once she’d agreed to take Andrew as her husband and he’d agreed to take her as wife, the preacher said he could kiss his bride.  Tracy blushed.  She’d never been kissed, and the first time would be here in front of all these people? 

Andy leaned down and brushed his lips across hers.  He may not want a wife, but she was pretty, and now that he had one, he’d make the most of her.  He kept this kiss brief, knowing the others were looking.  He didn’t want to have to explain to Mattie why he’d kissed his new wife for so long.  Tracy was a pretty woman, and even if she was a terrible wife in every other way, she’d be a joy to bed.

Tracy felt tingling all the way to her toes when his lips brushed against hers.  She was so happy she’d answered his letter and that she would be his wife and not some other woman.  Now that they’d kissed, she knew that she had done the right thing.  He would be a good husband to her, and they would have a dozen children just like in one of her books.  She smiled up at him tentatively, hoping he would smile in return, but he was already facing the pastor.

She didn’t mind, though, because in her mind they were already living happily ever after with their children on his ranch.  He would carry her over the threshold and treat her like a princess.  He’d even hire someone to do the cleaning, so she could just cook and sew the tasks she enjoyed.

“Thank you, Pastor.”   Andy shook hands with the older man, wondering what had just happened.  Why had kissing Tracy made him feel so strongly?  He’d kissed a few other girls but had never felt anything like the jolt of electricity that had just gone through him.  He couldn’t let her have power over him.  He’d seen the power his mother had over his father, and it wasn’t pretty.  A man should never let a woman control him.  “We’ll see you on Sunday.”

Andrew led the way out of the house with Tracy following behind again.  She wondered if he’d ever walk beside her.  Maybe he needed to be taught how to treat a wife.  She could work on that with him.

Mattie clung to Tracy’s hand all the way back to the wagon.  Tracy waited for Andrew to assist her into the seat, but when he didn’t, she climbed up herself.  Maybe no one had ever taught him any kind of manners?

Francis, Arthur, and Mattie climbed into the back of the wagon while she sat on the seat at the front with Andrew.  “How far is it to the ranch?” she asked.

“About an hour.”  Andy didn’t offer any more information.  He wasn’t going to become any closer to the woman beside him than absolutely necessary.  She was there to help him raise his younger siblings, not for him to fall in love with.

Tracy peppered him with questions as they drove, and he answered as concisely as possible.  They were halfway to the ranch when she said, “Wait!  Francis said we needed to buy supplies for me to cook tonight.”

Andrew sighed.  “I’ve already lost half a day’s work just by driving into town to get you.  I can’t afford to lose any more.  You’ll have to make do with what we have.”

Tracy didn’t try to speak again.  Instead she watched the trees go past as they drove.  She knew the nearest large city to Nowhere was San Antonio, and she wished she was closer to Fort Worth.  It would have been nice to meet Susan, Elizabeth’s sister.  She already felt as if she were failing at marriage.  What had she done wrong?

Andy wanted to kick himself for actually marrying the girl.  He should have married someone older and ugly if he’d wanted to keep his wits about him.  He could already tell that Tracy was going to be difficult to be around.  She was a chatterer.  She asked too many questions, and she was too pretty for his comfort.  He was already thinking about what it would be like to take her to bed, and he didn’t want to think about that.  She was there to keep house and cook.  Anything else was just a side benefit and not something he should be thinking about during daylight hours.

He couldn’t believe how quickly Mattie had taken to her.  He was certain he could have sent her home if not for that.  Mattie had barely spoken to anyone outside the family since their parents’ death.  She’d been particularly close to their mother, and he worried about her every day.  He didn’t know how to give her what she needed to go back to being the loud, funny little girl she’d once been.  He hoped that Tracy would help her come out of her shell. 

Tracy didn’t know what she’d expected the ranch to look like, but she knew when she saw it, that it was not what she’d envisioned at all.  The house was not painted, and needed to be badly.  It was big, but not in the way Elizabeth’s house had been big.  Elizabeth’s house was a perfectly manicured and cared for piece of beautiful architecture.  This house was…well, it looked like it had been designed by someone who had a few too many drinks before he picked up his pen.  There seemed to be a main house that had been added on to in every direction over the years. 

There were other buildings throughout the yard, including what she assumed was maybe a chicken coop?  She wasn’t sure.  She got down from the wagon, wishing she felt a little less stiff, but days on a train made for a really stiff body.

Francis carried her bag for her and led her into the house, showing her around.  She looked around for Andrew, but it seemed he’d already disappeared.  Where had he gone so quickly?  She was starting to think he didn’t really want a wife after all.

Francis set her bag down on the bed in the only downstairs bedroom.  “This is Andy’s room.  I cleaned out his top two drawers for your things.”  He smiled at her as if to tell her everything would be okay.

“Is Andy always this…grumpy?  I would have thought he’d be excited for me to finally arrive.  It’s like he didn’t want a wife.”

Francis turned red and looked at his feet, obviously trying to decide what to say.  “Well…he didn’t.”

“What?  Then why did he send a letter out asking for one?”  Was there some kind of mix up?  What had happened?

Francis sighed, his eyes meeting hers finally.  “I sent off the letter.  We needed someone to cook and clean.  I tried to talk Andy into finding a wife, but he said he didn’t need one.  I saw the advertisement in the paper a month or so ago, so I responded for him.  I figured I’d be able to talk him into it before you got here, but I just told him last night.”  He shook his head.  “He was planning to send you home right up until Mattie got so excited to see you.  He couldn’t send you away then.”

Tracy sat down on the edge of the bed, staring off into space for a moment.  He hadn’t wanted her?  No wonder he acted like she was a nuisance.  She sighed.  She was going to have to be the best darn bride a man had ever had to make him happy.

She wanted to cry and scream that no one had ever wanted her.  Not her mother, not the people at the orphanage, and now her husband didn’t want her either.  Instead she stood up and opened her bag, removing her apron and pulling it down over her dress, tying it behind her back.  She might as well get to work.  The fact that her husband didn’t want her didn’t make her any less married, and she was going to be the best wife any man had ever seen.

Tracy said nothing else to Francis as she hurried into the kitchen to check to see what the family had in stock.  She hadn’t eaten since early that morning on the train, and it was still several hours before supper, but she wasn’t going to complain.  It was her job to feed everyone.

As soon as she walked into the kitchen, Mattie hurried in behind her.  “I don’t have an apron, Tracy.  Can I help cook without one?”

Tracy smiled down at the little girl looking up at her so eagerly.  It was a good thing she liked children, because it looked like this little girl was going to be permanently attached to her side.  “Of course you can!  What do you want to make for supper?”

Mattie shrugged.  “We only ever eat bread that we buy in town and beef jerky.  What do you know how to make?”

“I know how to make a great many things.  I helped in the kitchen at the orphanage where I’ve lived ever since I was a baby.”  Tracy looked around the sparse kitchen.  “Where is the food kept?” she asked.

“There’s a little food in the cellar, I think.”

Tracy nodded, looking around for the cellar door.  She didn’t see one.  “How do I get to the cellar?”

“There’s a door outside that leads down to it.  Do you want me to show you?”

“Yes, please.”  Tracy followed as the little girl led the way outside and to a big door on the side of the house. 

“It’s down here.”  Mattie opened the door for her, and Tracy led the way down, carefully leaving the door wide open for light, because she hadn’t thought to bring a lantern.

Once she got to the bottom of the short stair case, Tracy sighed with disbelief.  How could anyone cook a decent meal with no real ingredients?  There was no flour or sugar.  No meat.  The only things they seemed to have were beef jerky and crackers.  She couldn’t make a decent meal with those two ingredients.  No one could.

She thanked Mattie for her help and climbed the stairs out of the cellar.  She needed to find Andy or at least find Francis.  One of them could tell her how to hitch up the team to go get food.  Right?

Tracy found Francis first.  He was leading the horses to their stall.  “Wait!”

Francis turned and smiled at her.  “Can I help you with something?” 

“Would you hitch the team back up for me?  I need to go to town if I’m going to be able to cook supper tonight.  There’s nothing edible in the house except crackers and beef jerky, and that’s not a meal I’m willing to serve.” 

Francis’s smile wavered for a moment.  “I don’t think Andy would like for you to go into town by yourself.  Not just yet.  We have eggs and milk.  Would those help?”

Tracy shrugged.  “Meat would help.  Beans would help.”

“I can butcher a chicken?  Bring it to you?”

Tracy smiled and nodded.  “I’ll take Mattie to collect eggs then, and we can make dinner from that.  It won’t be the best in the world, but it will be edible.”  She went back down to the cellar and took some of the crackers from the barrel, carrying them in her apron.  After putting them on the only clean plate she could find, she took the egg basket off the hook by the door and went out to collect eggs, Mattie trailing behind her. 

Mattie knew all the good hiding places for eggs, and they were able to make quick work of it the task.  Once they were back inside, Tracy rolled up her sleeves and started water boiling.  She was relieved to see there was a pump in the kitchen so she wouldn’t have to fetch water from a well.  It should make things much easier.

Mattie looked around the kitchen and tears welled up in her eyes.  “Do we have to wash all the dishes?”

Tracy laughed softly.  “I’m used to washing way more than this.  In the orphanage where I grew up, we’d have as many as twenty children living there.  I would do the dishes for everyone.  We’ll do them fast, and we’ll get them done.”

Mattie sniffled slightly, but she helped clear the table to make the work quicker.  The two of them worked together and had the table cleared and the dishes stacked in no time.  While they worked, Tracy peppered Mattie with questions.

“Do you go to school in town?”

Mattie shook her head.  “There’s no school close enough.  Ma taught Andy, Fwansis, and Arthur, but she died before it was time to start teaching me.”

“I’m sure Francis and Arthur could use a few more lessons as well.  I’ll sit all three of you down and teach you when fall comes.  There’s too much to do this summer.”  Tracy eyed the little girl.  Her dress was too short, and her hair was in a sad way.  “I brought some pretty fabric with me.  If we’re careful, we’ll have enough for us each to have a new dress.  Would you like that?”

Mattie’s eyes lit up at the prospect.  “The boys don’t know how to sew, and Andy says we don’t take charity from others.  One of the women at church wanted to give me her daughter’s dresses, but he wouldn’t let me take them.”

Tracy sighed sadly.  She’d worn used dresses her entire life.  It was the way of the orphanage.  They were given used dresses and whoever the dresses fit would wear them until they didn’t fit or wore out.  If they could be worn by someone else, they were.  If not, they went into the rag bag, and someone would be sleeping under them the next winter in the form of a quilt.  “Well, we’ll make sure you have a pretty new dress just as soon as I can make it work.”

Mattie smiled.  “You really are going to be a good sister, aren’t you?”

“I’m going to try.”  She didn’t know how she was going to make her peace with her new husband.  He seemed to resent her, but she’d done nothing wrong.  Why had Francis meddled that way?

The door opened and Francis came into the kitchen with a freshly plucked chicken dangling from his hand.  He’d taken the time to chop off the head and feet, which made it easier for Tracy to deal with.  She’d have done it either way, but she thanked him for his help.

As soon as they were finished with the dishes, Tracy wiped off the table and got down a large mixing bowl.  She put the crackers she’d brought up into the bowl and used her hands to crush them.  Mattie noticed what she was doing and giggled.  “May I help?”

Tracy hadn’t thought of how much fun that would be to a child.  “My hands are getting tired, and I need to whip the eggs.  Do you think you could finish crushing them all?”

“Oh, yes!”  Mattie happily put her hands in the bowl and crushed the crackers while Tracy found another small bowl and a large pan.  She whipped up the eggs with some salt and pepper. 

Tracy cut the chicken into pieces like she’d seen at the orphanage before Mattie was finished crushing the crackers.  She sat for a moment looking around the room.  She couldn’t help but wonder if anyone had swept the house since their mother had died.  It certainly didn’t look like it.  She had her work cut out for her.  Even with Mattie’s help, it was going to take a good week to have the house clean.  The place was a pigsty.

Mattie finished with the crackers, and Tracy showed her what they were going to do.  She dipped a piece of chicken into the egg mixture and then rolled it in the cracker crumbs.  “I’ve never actually seen anyone cook chicken this way before, but I hope it will be good.”  She had seen some lard in the cellar so she knew that she would have oil to fry it all in.  “Are there any potatoes?”

Mattie shook her head.  “No.  We’ve only eaten crackers and beef jerky since Ma died.”

Tracy made a face.  How could anyone exist on only those two things for over a year?  “Well, we’ll have a better meal tomorrow night after someone takes the time to go into town for supplies.  It’s not too late in the year for us to start a garden either.  We’ll eat like kings come September.”

Tracy rushed back down to the cellar to get some lard and the two girls fried the chicken together.  They would have nothing to eat with it, but at least it was something different than what they’d eaten for way too long. 

When the three ‘men’ arrived home for dinner, Mattie and Tracy had set the table with a pretty table cloth, and the chicken sat at the center of the table ready to be eaten.  Andy took his place at the head of the table and peered at the chicken.

“What piece is that?” he asked as he pointed with his fork at one of the pieces on the platter.  “And why does it look so funny?”

Tracy smiled sweetly at her new husband instead of kicking him as she wanted to do.  “I have no idea how to cut up a chicken.  I did my best.  It looks funny because there is no flour in this house.  There are no ingredients of any sort that a reasonable person can make a meal with.  So I did my best with what was available to me.”

Andy stabbed a piece as he bit the inside of his lip.  He wasn’t going to say another word about how funny the food looked.  He was afraid his new wife would stab him in the throat with his fork if he did.  He put the piece down onto his plate and looked at it for another minute.  “Let’s pray.”  He bowed his head and his family followed suit. 

After their quick prayer, he took a bite of the odd looking chicken and smiled.  “We may not have ingredients, but you did a good job on this chicken.”

Tracy nodded as the others all picked up their pieces and bit into them.  Mattie said, “This is the best thing I’ve eaten since Ma died.”  Francis and Arthur didn’t speak, because they were too busy stuffing food in their mouths. 

“I’ll still need to go to town tomorrow to buy supplies.  You can go with me, or I’ll go alone.  I don’t much care at this point.  I can’t keep making meals with no real ingredients.”

Andy swallowed the bite of food in his mouth.  “Now that I know you can cook like this, you’ll have all the ingredients you want.  Francis will ride into town with you tomorrow and help you.”

Francis used his sleeve to wipe his mouth.  “I’d be happy to.  I’d also be happy to tell you what you should make and carry everything for you.  Do you need more pots and pans?”

Tracy laughed.  They were obviously all so starved for a decent meal they were willing to do anything to keep them coming.  She wasn’t sure if they’d needed a wife in their house, but they’d certainly needed someone to cook and clean for them.  “I would love some help with everything tomorrow.”

After dinner, she and Mattie once again did the dishes, working together much more efficiently this time.  Every bite of food had been eaten, but that didn’t surprise Tracy.  There hadn’t been much to begin with.  When she had real food at her disposal, she would make more. 

While the two girls cleaned, the others sat at the table and talked.  Andy told the others what their work would be the following day.  “Arthur, you can help me with the fences, and Francis, you ride into town with the girls.  Buy what she tells you to buy.  I want to start eating like we used to when Ma was still around.”  He looked at the back of his wife’s head.  He was surprised she’d turned out to be what Francis had claimed she was.  She was obviously a hard worker and a good cook.  He needed to give her a chance instead of assuming she knew nothing because of her age.

Once the dishes were done, Tracy took Mattie into her bedroom and showed her the fabric she had.  “I really think we can get two dresses out of this easily.  Did your ma keep any dress patterns around?”

Mattie thought about it.  “She had a big box that she kept them in.  Do you want the box?” 

“Yes, please.  Where is it?  Do you know?”

“I think it’s in the attic.  Do you want me to show you?”

“Yes, please.”  This time Tracy had the foresight to get a lantern from the worktable in the kitchen and take it with her.  The two girls climbed to the upstairs, and Tracy peeked into the different bedrooms.  Each was messier than the last.  She took a deep breath.  She could only do one room at a time, and the downstairs had to come first.

Mattie showed her the box once they reached the attic, and Tracy smiled.  “That’s exactly what I was looking for!”

They took it down the stairs and into the room Tracy would share with Andy.  “Hmm…I didn’t bring any shears or anything.  Do you have any?”  Tracy had always just used the sewing supplies at the orphanage.  It had never occurred to her that she would need her own. 

Once Mattie brought her the scissors, Tracy thought of something else she needed.  By the time they’d gathered all of the supplies together, it was time for the younger ones to go to bed.  Tracy went up the stairs with Mattie and sat on the edge of her bed, talking to her softly about what they would do together.  “Tomorrow we’ll get the downstairs cleaned and we’ll wash all the sheets.”  At the orphanage they’d washed the sheets weekly, and Tracy didn’t even want to think about how long it must have been since the Harveys had washed their linens.  She’d strip all the beds and wash everything the next day.

Mattie smiled.  “That sounds nice.  I remember Ma doing all those things every week.”

Tracy was relieved to hear that the family was used to cleanliness when their mother was still alive.  She would have been horrified to hear they’d lived this way all their lives.  The orphanage hadn’t ever had luxuries, but it had always been clean.

Mattie smiled at Tracy, her eyes drooping.  “You’ll still be here tomorrow, right?  You won’t go away?”

“I won’t go anywhere.”  Tracy kissed the little girl on her forehead and tiptoed from the room, closing the door behind her. 

Chapter Three

By the time Tracy joined the others downstairs again, Andy had sent Arthur and Francis to their beds.  She sat down at the table beside him, and brought up the one subject she felt was important they talk about before they slept that night.  “Francis admitted to me this afternoon that you had no idea I was on my way until last night.”

Andy leaned back in his chair and looked at her.  “Does that matter to you?”

“Of course it matters to me!  I would never have been part of your deception if I’d known it was happening.”  She shook her head.  “I can go back to Massachusetts if that’s what you want.  We don’t have to stay married.”

He sighed heavily.  “We really don’t have a choice at this point.  Mattie would be very upset to lose you.”  As attracted to her as he was, he wasn’t sure if he wanted her to stay or go.  He didn’t want to give her power over him, but he also didn’t want to let her go. 

“If it weren’t for Mattie, would you send me back?”  Tracy didn’t know where she got the confidence to ask the question, but she had to know.  If he only wanted her because she was good for his sister, could she stay?

“I honestly don’t know.  I told myself all the way into town I was going to send you back no matter what, but I don’t know if I could have done that with or without Mattie.  I’ve never backed away from an obligation, and once Francis sent you that letter, you became my obligation.”

Tracy swallowed hard.  The man she was sure was going to take one look at her and lose his heart thought of her as an obligation.  “Elizabeth, the woman who owns the mail order bride agency in Beckham, said that she’d send me a train ticket to come back any time.  I’ll write to her tomorrow.”

Andy felt as if his heart dropped to his stomach.  “You want to leave?”

“I don’t want to stay where I’m not wanted.”  She couldn’t do it again.  They’d get an annulment, and Elizabeth would find her a man who actually wanted her in his life.

“How about this?  Give it a little time.  Say a month?  And if at the end of a month, we don’t think we’re compatible, you go back home.”

She had no home, but she didn’t say that aloud.  “I won’t sleep with you in the meantime.”

Andy hadn’t thought about that.  “I don’t want my siblings to think there’s something wrong between us.  Share a bed with me, but I promise not to touch you.”

She raised an eyebrow at him.  “You won’t?  Because your bed isn’t all that big.”

“I won’t touch you sexually.  I’ll sleep beside you at night.  I might brush up against you, but nothing more.”

Tracy shrugged.  “Fine.  Whatever you want.”  She stood up and walked toward the bedroom.  “Give me five minutes to change for bed.”  She didn’t wait for an answer, but headed into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.  She leaned back against the door for a moment, letting the tears fall. 

What had she expected?  That he would fall at her feet and beg her to stay?  Tell her that after seeing her and tasting her marvelous cooking he’d fallen in love with her and couldn’t let her go?

She brushed away the tears with the backs of her hands before changing into her nightgown.  Whatever he expected, she was going to do the right thing by his brothers and sister.  She wouldn’t make them suffer for how he felt. 

She was wearing her sleeveless, long, white nightgown and under the sheet with her eyes closed when he came into the room.  She had her back to the center of the bed and didn’t once open her eyes until he’d turned down the lantern and climbed into the bed beside her.

“Tracy?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.  I know you were led to believe something that wasn’t true as well.  We’ll both make the most of it.”  His voice was soft and sympathetic, and it just made the tears fall more rapidly. 

“Good night, Andy.”  She’d never call him Andrew again.  Andrew was the man she’d been fantasizing about for the past month.  The man who was going to sweep her off her feet and treat her like a princess.  Andy was the reality.  The man who didn’t want her and never had.

*****

Tracy woke before the sun was up the following morning, and quickly dressed in the dark.  She knew it was almost time to get up because of how full her bladder felt, and rushed to get ready for her day before her husband stirred.  She may not be what he wanted in a wife, but she knew she was what his little sister needed.  She’d concentrate on that, and not on the fact that she was once again, unwanted and unloved.

She went out to the henhouse and gathered more eggs, putting them into the basket.  By the time she returned to the house, Andy was up and dressed.  He nodded to her, obviously as uncomfortable around her as she now was around him.  “I’ll need milk for breakfast.”

He nodded.  “I’m heading out to milk the cow now.”

“Thank you.”  She turned away from him and started the fire in the stove so it would be hot enough for her to cook breakfast.  She heard the door close behind him as she cracked the first of the eggs into a bowl.  She had a lot of work to do that morning if she was going to be ready to go into town at a reasonable hour.

All of the eggs were cracked and had been beaten by the time he came back in with a tin pail full of milk.  She poured just a bit into the eggs and then stirred a bit more, before pouring them into the pan that she’d already melted a tiny amount of butter into.  There was very little butter left in the house, and she added that she needed to make more to her mental list of things to be done.  If she was only going to be there a month, she was going to make it the most productive month of her life.  Mattie was going to know how to make basic meals before she left.

The others appeared one by one as they smelled their breakfast cooking.  Mattie’s smile was huge as she rushed to Tracy’s side, hugging her new sister tightly.  “You didn’t leave!”

Tracy laughed kissing the top of the girl’s head.  “I told you I’d be here when you woke up.”  She nodded to the stack of plates on the work table.  “Would you set the table for me?  Pour everyone a glass of milk as well.  I don’t see any coffee around.”

She looked at Francis, ignoring Andy entirely, even though he sat at the table watching everything that went on around him.  “Do you drink coffee?”

Francis nodded.  “Andy and I both drink coffee, but we’re both lousy at making it, so we gave it up after Ma died.”

“We’ll get some while we’re in town today, then.”  She scooped the cooked eggs into a bowl and carried the bowl to the table, sitting down at the foot of the table, directly across from Andy.  She knew it was where she needed to sit, but it would be hard to avoid his gaze through every meal.  She’d do it, though.  She had to.  She couldn’t look at him and not think about how stupid and utterly unlovable she was.

Andy watched his new wife with a sad look in his eye.  He almost wished he’d just lied to her the night before instead of being so blunt about his lack of feelings.  Why couldn’t he have just gone along with it and treated her like he would treat a new wife?  He’d missed out on a wedding night as a result of his idiocy, and it looked like he was going to lose her entirely.  He had no one to blame but himself.

He said the prayer for them before serving himself a heaping spoonful of the eggs.  He knew that she must have used every egg she’d found to be able to have that many for them all.  They hadn’t had eggs since Ma had died, and he watched as his brothers devoured them.  Even Mattie took a huge spoonful and all but fell on them.

Tracy took a bite of the eggs and felt them stick in her throat.  All she wanted to do was cry, but that would get her nowhere.  “What time will you be taking me to town today?” she asked Francis.

Andy shook his head.  “I changed my mind.  I’ll take you.”

Tracy met his eyes for the first time that morning.  “I’d really rather Francis took me, but thank you for offering.”

Andy blinked a couple of times, wondering if he’d heard her correctly.  Was this the same woman who had worn her heart on her sleeve the previous evening?  “Francis is going to help mend fences.  I think I need to be the one to drive you and introduce you around town.”

Tracy said nothing in response.  She’d make certain Mattie sat between them the whole way there and back.  The little girl would serve as the perfect buffer.

After the dishes were washed and put away, Tracy sat down at the table and made a quick list of the things she felt they needed.  She had so much she wanted to get done.  She needed to teach Mattie the basics of cooking, so she wrote down all the basic ingredients.  They’d start there.

Once her list was done, she stood up and looked for Mattie.  She found the girl upstairs making her bed.  “Don’t worry about that.  We’re going to wash the sheets and all the bedding when we get home from town.”  They needed to make the trip quickly so she could do the laundry and get the bread baked that day. 

Mattie turned from her bed and smiled at Tracy.  “I’m ready then.”  Her hair looked just as it had the day before.  It was all snarled and dirty.  Tracy couldn’t do anything about how dirty it was then, but she’d wash it that night.  She took the brush off Mattie’s dresser and sat on the little girl’s bed, inviting Mattie to sit on the floor at her feet.

Tracy made quick work of the tangles in Mattie’s hair.  Within ten minutes, it was brushed out and braided into two long braids.  “There.  Now you’re ready.”

Mattie threw her arms around Tracy.  “Thank you!”

Tracy smiled.  It certainly didn’t take much to make Mattie happy.  She wished her oldest brother was just as easy to please. 

They went down the stairs together.  As soon as they reached the bottom, Tracy saw that Andy was there waiting for her.  “Are you ready to go?” he asked.  His eyes flicked over Mattie’s hair and met Tracy’s.  “Thank you,” he mouthed.

“Yes, we’re ready.”  She picked up her list from the table and followed him outside to where he already had the team ready to go.  Tracy helped Mattie up to the center of the seat on the wagon before climbing in beside her.  She looked straight ahead, not even willing to look at Andy.

Mattie kept up a constant stream of chatter as they drove, talking about how much she loved going to town, and how Sunday was her favorite day because she got to see her church friends, and even though they had to sit still, they were still fun.  Tracy said little, except when asked a direct question by Mattie.

Once they reached town, Tracy hurried down from the wagon and helped her new sister.  She took Mattie’s hand and went into the mercantile, looking around at all the wonderful things there.  She had no idea how much she was allowed to spend, but since Andy hadn’t felt as if she needed that information, she’d just spend what she thought she should and let him pay for it.

Mattie led her straight to the proprietor of the store.  “This is my new sister, Tracy!” Mattie announced, her face alight with happiness.

The middle aged man smiled at Tracy.  “It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Harvey.  You just let me know if you have trouble finding anything.”

Tracy smiled and nodded.  “I will.  Thank you.”  She turned from him and looked over the groceries he had to offer.  She selected a large barrel of flour, and another of sugar.  Very quickly, she had a small mountain of food ready to purchase. 

Andy came in from outside where he’d been standing with the horses and looked at the pile.  “Is that all?” he asked.

Tracy shook her head.  “I need to get some yard goods to make Mattie some new dresses.  Hers are too short.”  She looked over the fabrics in the corner of the store, picking out two different bolts of cloth and instructing the owner to cut some for her.  When she was given the total, she blanched.  She’d never heard of spending that much money all at one time, but Andy put his fingers into his shirt pocket and took out some money, paying the man quickly. 

She smiled at the owner as she left the store.  “Thank you for your help.”

“You’re welcome, Mrs. Harvey.  You come back soon.” 

Tracy tried not to giggle as she walked toward the wagon.  Of course he wanted her to come back.  There probably weren’t a lot of people who bought that huge quantity of groceries all at once.  They’d needed them, though, and she wouldn’t apologize for doing the right thing by her family, even if they would only be her family for a short time.

There were five or six men crowded around the wagon when she got out to it.  She didn’t say anything to them as she helped Mattie into her seat.  “May I help you up, ma’am?”

Tracy looked at the young man who’d offered.  He wore a cowboy hat and an old beat up pair of pants.  He was obviously someone’s ranch hand.  “That would be nice, thank you.”

“My name is John.  John Billings.  I noticed your husband didn’t help you down from the wagon when you got to town.”  When she said nothing he added, “If you were my wife, I’d help you up and down every time.  I’d treat you like a queen.  It don’t matter to me none that you’ve been married, either.  I can kill him for you, and then I’ll marry you.”

Tracy stifled a laugh.  “No, but I do thank you for your kind offer.”  She took his proffered hand and climbed into the wagon sitting beside Mattie.  “I’d rather not be a widow before I turn nineteen.”

John removed his hat and scratched his head.  “Just remember, there are a lot of men around here looking for wives.  If you don’t want to stay married to him, all you gotta do is close your eyes and point.  We’d all treat you real good.”

“Thank you, John.  I’ll keep that in mind if I decide that Andy doesn’t treat me well enough.”

Andy came up just then and raised an eyebrow at John.  “You trying to steal my wife, John?”

“You didn’t help her down from the wagon.  You must not love her.  I’ll treat her right.”  John didn’t back down from his stance.

Andy shook his head and climbed into the wagon.  “I treat her just fine.”  He waited until they were out of town before turning to Tracy.  “Why did you encourage him?”  Was she trying to make him jealous by letting other men touch her?

Tracy’s jaw dropped.  “Encourage him?  All I did was accept a hand up into the wagon that you obviously weren’t going to offer.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I’ve gotten into the wagon three times in your presence and down twice.  You’ve never offered to help me once.”  She stared off in front of them.  “He said if you don’t treat me well enough to just let him know.  There are plenty of men around here who are interested in marrying a good woman.”

Andy couldn’t believe she would say that.  Was she trying to make him angry?

Mattie put her hand on Tracy’s arm.  “But you’re ours now, Tracy.  You can’t marry someone else.”

Tracy sighed, putting her arm around the little girl and hugging her close.  “Yes, I’m yours now.”  For how long, she didn’t know, but she’d stay for the month agreed upon at least.  She was glad to know that she wouldn’t have a hard time finding another man in town to marry.  It wouldn’t have been easy to ask Elizabeth to send her that train ticket.

Once they were home, Andy unloaded the wagon and carried everything inside.   The only words spoken were him asking where she wanted certain items and her curt responses.  Finally, he headed for the door.  “We usually eat lunch around noon.”  He closed the door behind him after saying those last words.

Tracy looked at the clock on the mantle over the fireplace.  It was eleven, so she had an hour.  Thank heavens they’d left for town at seven that morning.  If she hurried she could have something ready for them.

She and Mattie hurried as they made simple sandwiches for lunch and stripped all the beds, carrying the laundry out to wash and dry it.  It wasn’t even lunchtime and she felt as if she’d already put in a full day of work.  It was a good thing she’d learned how to work hard at the orphanage.  She wasn’t sure how some of the girls she’d gone to school with would have handled the situation she was in.  They simply didn’t know how to work.

After lunch, she and Mattie baked several loaves of bread, keeping the door and all the windows wide open.  She’d heard stories of just how hot Texas was, and she hadn’t really believed them until she’d tried to bake on a summer day.  She was so hot, she felt as if she was going to melt into a puddle right there in her kitchen.

After they got the bread from the oven, she taught Mattie how to make butter, and the two of them took turns at the butter churn.  It was hard work, but it needed to be done, and she wanted Mattie to know how for when she was gone.

She realized that she was acting as if leaving was a forgone conclusion.  She assumed there was no way Andy would want to keep her at the end of the month, and why would he?  He was dead set against having her for a wife.  Did he not trust her because she wasn’t from the south?  Surely he knew the war had been over for twenty years.

*****

Andy worked hard that day, forcing his brothers to match the difficult pace he set.  He kept thinking about John and how he’d made it very clear that he would be happy to take her for his wife if things didn’t work out between Andy and Tracy.  Why did the other man think he had the right to talk to another man’s wife that way?  What was wrong with him?

By the time they went home that evening for supper, he was livid.  He was certain Tracy must have done something to make the other man think she was unhappy in her marriage.

When he walked into the house, he was barraged with smells.  Good smells.   There was a huge bowl of beans on the table that looked like they had bacon mixed through them and a plate of cornbread.  He was almost mesmerized by the sights and smells of good food.  How could he be angry with a woman who could cook?  He washed up quickly and took his place at the head of the table.  He waited until the others sat, bowed his head and said the shortest prayer he’d ever said in his life.

Tracy sat bemused as she watched the four members of her new family attack the food like they’d never seen any before.  She wasn’t a huge fan of beans, because they had eaten them five nights a week at the orphanage, but she could see the Harveys didn’t have that same prejudice against beans. 

There was little talk as they all concentrated on their food.  Finally, when every bite had been eaten, Andy leaned back in his chair and patted his stomach.  “That was the best meal I’ve had in a long time,” he said with a sigh.

Tracy shook her head.  “How did you four survive without someone to cook for you?”

Andy shrugged.  “We ate a lot of beef jerky.”

She stood up and walked to the oven, opening it up to remove the cake she’d hidden there.  She really hadn’t had time to bake that day, and had sacrificed the time she’d wanted to spend sewing, but it was worth it to see the three male’s faces.  Mattie had helped her frost it, so she’d known it was coming, but the other three looked shocked.

“Cake?  You baked a cake?”

Tracy shrugged.  “I thought it would be good since we just had beans for dinner.”

She served the cake and passed it out to everyone before starting to clear the table.  “Aren’t you going to have any?” Andy asked, looking at her with surprise.

“I will after the dishes are done.  I’m not all that hungry right this second.”  She made quick work of clearing the table.  By the time she got the first dish washed, Mattie was beside her holding her hand out to dry it.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to eat my cake, Tracy.  I should have helped clear the table.”

Tracy smiled and shook her head.  “No, you should have enjoyed your cake.”  When Mattie beamed up at her, she said, “We’ll start on the first of your new dresses after we finish the dishes.”

Mattie all but bounced up and down.  “I’d like that.”

Tracy kept her ears open to the voices behind her.  Once again Andy let the others know what they would be working on the next day.  “Tomorrow is branding,” he said.

Arthur groaned.  “I hate branding.  The smell is awful.”

“Get used to it.  We’re a ranching family so we brand the cattle.  No choice.” He collected all the plates and took them over to Tracy, trying to do his best to get on her good side once again.  “Thank you for supper.  It was wonderful.”  Would she forgive him?

Tracy said nothing just nodding in acknowledgement of his words as she took the plates from him.  She put them into the hot water she was washing the dishes with and kept up her work. 

Andy sighed as he took his seat at the table again.  He’d talk to her after the others were in bed.  With the way she cooked, he knew he wanted to keep her.  He regretted his words from the previous night a great deal.

As soon as the dishes were done and put away, Tracy went into her bedroom and brought out the fabric they’d purchased.  She carefully used the pattern and cut out the pieces for the first dress.  Explaining what she was doing to Mattie through each step and letting the younger girl help where she could, she hoped to teach her to be able to take charge of her home when she left.  She knew it was a tall order for a young girl, but Mattie seemed willing to learn all she could.

They had the dress completely cut out by the time she needed to send Mattie to bed.  She once again walked up the stairs with her and waited while the girl changed into her nightgown, and then sat on the edge of her bed.  Mattie smiled at her.  “Thank you for the best day I’ve ever had.”

Tracy smiled.  The day had been difficult for her, knowing that she was not wanted and never had been.  She’d fought through it though, and could see by the girl’s face that it was a good thing she had.  “We’ll do so much more tomorrow.”  She leaned down to kiss her forehead.  “I’m going to teach you to sew tomorrow.”

Mattie smiled, nodding as her eyes drooped.  “Thank you for making my bed so clean.”

They’d managed to wash all the sheets and quilts while the men had been working during the day.  Tracy was really proud of all they’d accomplished.  They weren’t anywhere near done with the cleaning, but they’d made a good start.  In a week, the house would look like it should, and they’d be able to devote more of their time to sewing.

Chapter Four

Once again the boys were in bed by the time Tracy made it back down the stairs.  She automatically gathered up the pieces of the dress they’d cut out so she could put them away.  She didn’t want to have to deal with any messes first thing in the morning.

Once she was finished, she said, “Good night.” 

Before she could close the door to their bedroom, Andy called, “Wait.  I want to talk to you before you go to bed.”  He’d been thinking about what he wanted to say to her ever since he’d gotten home and seen supper sitting on the table.

Tracy put the things in her hands onto the dresser and walked back into the kitchen, sitting down across from him.  “What do you want to talk about?”

Andy stood up and moved so they were sitting closer together. Tracy considered standing up and moving further away from him, but she wasn’t going to be that childish. “I’m sorry I got angry with you in town today.  I know that John likes to flirt with every woman he meets, so I shouldn’t have blamed you for what he said and did.”

Tracy shrugged, not liking him sitting so close.  She felt herself drawn to him, as she’d imagined she would be when she first agreed to move to Texas as his bride.  “It doesn’t matter.” 

“Yes, it does.  I said some things to you that I shouldn’t have last night.  I can see Francis was right.  I do need a wife.  You’ve already made my home so much better than it was.  I want you to stay.”  It wasn’t easy for him to ask her to stay after the things he’d said.  He felt as if there was a giant lump in his throats that the words had to force their way around.

“I will stay until my month is up, just like I promised.”  She got to her feet and pushed the chair back under the table.

Andy didn’t think about what he was doing, he just acted to keep her in his life.  His hand reached out and grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her down into his lap.  He slipped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck.  “That’s not what I’m saying,” he whispered into her ear.

Tracy stiffened.  “What are you doing?”  Hadn’t they decided he wasn’t going to touch her just the night before?  What was his problem?

Andy smiled.  “What does it feel like I’m doing?  I’m kissing my wife.”  He drew her head down to his, and he kissed her softly.  “I’ve wanted to do that again ever since I kissed you at our wedding.”

“You have a strange way of showing it.”  Tracy tried to keep her voice disapproving, but she couldn’t.  She liked what he was doing to her too much.  She felt like melting into his lap. 

“I’m sorry.  I was wrong.  Marrying you was the right thing to do.”

Tracy shrugged.  “I’m not so sure.”  Did he decide it was the right thing to do because he had a decent dinner?  Or because the house was clean for a change?  She knew he wasn’t overwhelmed by her beauty, because that would have happened the day before.

Andy cupped her face in his hands and drew her down for another kiss, their first real kiss.  He kissed her gently, his lips toying with hers.  His tongue probed at her lips, asking for permission to enter her mouth. 

She let out a low moan and parted her lips, granting him access.  Turning her torso so she was facing him fully, she put her hands on his shoulders.  She may not like Andy, but she certainly liked his kisses.  What was wrong with her that she wanted to be kissed by a man who made it clear he didn’t want her in his life?

  He moved his hands up and down her back as his tongue gently explored the inside of her mouth.  He pulled her closer to him with her body flush against his. 

Tracy was out of breath when she finally broke the kiss, looking into his brown eyes.  “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“We’re married.  Why isn’t it a good idea?”

“I’m leaving in a month.”  The answer should be obvious.  Had he forgotten their agreement?

Andy shook his head.  “I don’t want you to go.  I want you to stay here with me and be a real wife to me.”

“Because I’m a good cook?”  She jumped up from his lap as if he were on fire.  “I don’t think so.  Good night, Andy.”  She rushed from the room and into their bedroom, pulling her nightgown on as quickly as she could.  She wasn’t going to agree to stay after the way he’d made it clear he didn’t want her the night before.

She got into bed and covered herself with the sheet, taking up the smallest place possible.  She didn’t want to accidentally touch him in her sleep. 

Andy sat still for a moment after she left, his body still worked up by their kiss.  There was such passion between them that he was shocked she’d been able to run off that way.  He groaned.  How was he going to spend the night in the same bed with her feeling as worked up as he was without touching her?  It would be impossible.

He groaned, walking into the bedroom he shared with her and undressing, noting she was already lying on her side facing away from the center of the bed just as she had the night before.  He’d had the courtesy to wear a nightshirt the previous night, but he wasn’t going to do that again.  He preferred to sleep in nothing, and his little bride could just get used to that fact.  Texas summers were too hot for nightshirts.

He slid between the sheets, debating whether or not he should touch her.  He wanted to.  He wanted to pull her into his arms and make sweet love to her, making her forget that she wanted to be anywhere in the world other than in his arms. 

Instead, Andy shifted to the center of the bed, and put his arms around her, drawing her back against him.  He didn’t try to kiss her again, but he could feel by the rigidness of her body that she expected him to.  He wrapped his left arm around her waist, not touching her anywhere that she would deem inappropriate and closed his eyes, hoping he’d be able to get at least a little sleep.

Tracy couldn’t figure out what it was that Andy wanted.  Was he going to try to make love to her?  When he did nothing but hold her in the darkness, she slowly relaxed and let herself enjoy the feeling of being held.  No one had ever touched her in a way that made her feel like she was special.  She’d never really meant anything to anyone.  That’s why his rejection had hurt so badly. 

Finally, she relaxed enough to sleep, his arm still around her.

Andy lay awake long after Tracy fell asleep.  He had to find a way to convince her that she’d done the right thing marrying him.  It wasn’t only his siblings who needed her now.  It was him.  He had to get her to stay.  He wanted to kick himself for his rude words of the previous night.

*****

Tracy awoke the next morning to the feeling of a bug against her cheek.  She reached up to swat it away, but instead encountered fingers there.  Her eyes opened wide with surprise.  Andy was waking her.  “Is it time to get up?” she asked, yawning, and hoping he’d let her go. 

Her nightgown had ridden up during the night, and she could feel the front of his thighs against the back of hers.  Her bottom was barely covered, and she felt something poking her.  She didn’t ask what it was.  She was afraid to. 

“Not quite time to get up,” he whispered.  “I thought it would be nice to start our day alone together.”  He pulled back a little and turned her onto her back.  “You’re beautiful.”  He hadn’t been able to help noticing how beautiful she was even when she’d gotten off the train dirty and tired.  Now though?  She made his heart beat faster.  She was perfect in his eyes.

The moon was full and streaming in through the window.  The sun hadn’t come up yet, but she knew that it would shortly.  “I don’t think this is a good idea, Andy.”  She wanted to tell him to kiss her.  She wanted to spend time holding him and stroking him.  It wasn’t a good idea, though, because he didn’t really want her.  He only wanted the food she made.

“What’s not a good idea?” he asked as his fingers trailed along her cheek.  He leaned down and very lightly brushed his lips against hers.  “This?”  His hand found her breast through her nightgown.  “Or this?”

Tracy moaned her lips clinging to his.  She knew she should just jump out of bed and run to the kitchen, but he felt so good against her.  How could she leave him?

She turned to him more fully instead, putting one hand at the back of his neck as he kissed her.  She wanted to stay here with him all day.

Andy’s hand gently squeezed her breast, his thumb toying with her nipple through the fabric of her nightgown.  She splayed her hands across his back.  Would staying be so bad?  She liked it here.  She liked him when he wasn’t telling her he didn’t want her there. 

From outside the door, she heard a loud whisper.  “Tracy, it’s time to start breakfast.  I’ll collect the eggs.”  Mattie.  How could she have forgotten about Mattie?

Tracy sighed against his lips, pulling back from Andy.  “Mattie’s up.  I need to get dressed.”

She rolled away from him, silently thanking Mattie for the interruption.  If she had stayed in bed with her husband much longer, there would be no question of whether she could leave or not.  She would have to stay.

Andy propped himself up on his elbow and watched his new wife gather her clothes for the day.  He waited to see if she’d remove her nightgown in front of him.  He’d already gotten a tantalizing glimpse of her bare thigh when she’d climbed from the bed. 

She looked over her shoulder at him.  “Would you turn your back please?”

Andy smiled.  At least she was being polite to him.  “No, I really don’t think I will.  You’re my wife, and I have every right to see you unclothed.”

Tracy blushed.  “You get dressed first then, and I’ll wait.”

He chuckled at that.  “I’m not wearing anything under this sheet.  You sure you want me to dress first.”

She squeezed her eyes closed tightly, and sat on the bed.  “Yes, please.”

He laughed out loud.  His hand rubbed her back through her nightgown.  “One day, you’ll be happy to see me naked.”

“Please hurry,” she suggested.  “I need to start breakfast.”  She wasn’t about to comment on his statement about seeing him naked. 

He rolled from the bed, and dressed quickly.  He didn’t have any more time to torment his wife.  He needed to get dressed and get the cow milked.  When he was fully clothed, he leaned down and kissed her one last time.  “I’ll see you at breakfast.”

As soon as the door closed behind him, Tracy jumped up and pulled her clothes on.  She couldn’t believe he’d been so brazen in front of her.  What was he thinking?  He had suddenly turned into a different man than the sullen man she’d married.  She wasn’t sure if she liked him this way.

Once she was dressed, she went into the kitchen and started a fire in the stove, putting the frying pan on the top with a little bit of butter to melt.  She quickly mixed up everything she needed for pancake except the eggs, and as soon as Mattie was in the house with the eggs, she added three.  “Good morning, Mattie.  We’re having pancakes this morning.”

“Oh!  That sounds lovely.”  Mattie flew into Tracy’s arms and hugged her tightly.  “Ma used to make pancakes for breakfast every Sunday morning.  She said they were the only thing that would fill us up enough to sit still through church.”

Tracy laughed.  “I’m excited to meet everyone at church.  Tomorrow’s Sunday…isn’t it?”  She couldn’t believe she’d lost track of the days, but she’d been on the train so long. 

Mattie giggled.  “Yes, it is Sunday.  I want you to meet my friends.”

Tracy smiled at the girl.  No one had ever looked up to her the way Mattie did.  She was going to have a hard time saying goodbye to her.  “I can’t wait to meet them.”

Mattie set the table and put the butter and syrup on while Tracy made the pancakes.  She made a pot of coffee for everyone who drank it, knowing she’d probably drink coffee and milk both.  She couldn’t meet Andy’s eyes again that morning, but it was for a different reason than the previous morning.  She would tell him that night there couldn’t be a repeat of that morning in bed.

After breakfast, she jumped up to start the dishes, mentally going over everything she would have to do that day.  She wanted to finish cleaning the downstairs of the house before starting on the upstairs the next day.  She wanted to get all the windows washed and the walls scrubbed. Tracy knew Mattie was going to be her little helper. 

She had just put the stack of plates into the dishwater to wash when Andy put his hand on her shoulder.  When she turned to see what he wanted, he leaned down and kissed her senseless.  The kiss was hard, but the warmth spread through her body quickly. 

Andy pulled back and plopped his hat onto his head.  “Have a good day.” 

He was gone before Tracy could find the words to respond.  Mattie grinned up at her.  “He likes you,” she whispered.

Tracy giggled softly.  “He is certainly starting to make me think that.” 

*****

With the day’s chores finally finished, Tracy sat down with Mattie and showed her how to make simple stitches.  She gave her two scraps of the fabric they’d used for her new dress with the instructions to sew them together so they could make a purse out of them. 

Andy found them that way at the end of the day.  He and his brothers had put in a long day of work, and they were all three exhausted.  Walking into the house, smelling dinner cooking, and seeing even the windows shining as if they were brand new rejuvenated him.  He glanced over and saw Tracy sitting with Mattie, both of their heads bowed over their sewing.  He didn’t know what Mattie was making, but Tracy had told him the day before she was going to make Mattie a new dress and have it done as soon as she could.  The girl needed dresses that fit for church.

He washed his hands and walked over to where they sat, smiling down at them.  “My two ladies, hard at work.”

Tracy looked up and rolled her neck.  “Let me put dinner on the table.”  They were later than she’d expected, so she’d shoved everything into the cooling oven to keep it warm while she and Mattie sewed.

Andy caught her around the waist before she could walk away, kissing her softly.  She looked up at him with wide round eyes.  Would he grab her and kiss her every chance he got?  It certainly seemed that way.  And she definitely didn’t have it in her to complain.

She rushed to pull dinner from the oven and put it on the table.  Everything was set.  Mattie got the milk and poured it for everyone, while Tracy put the big bowl with pot roast, carrots and potatoes onto the center of the table.  She’d baked some fresh dinner rolls and they were cooling on the work table.  She piled them into a bread basket, and put them out as well. 

Once she’d taken her seat, she bowed her head, waiting for Andy to pray.  The family ate more slowly this time, obviously getting used to the fact that there would be good foods to sustain them for a while.

After his first bite, Andy looked at Tracy, his eyes twinkling.  “This is delicious.  I never would have thought Francis would be so good at picking out a wife.”

Tracy blushed.   “He’s a smart young man.  Polite, too.  We’ll find him a wife soon.”

Francis choked on his pot roast.  “I’m not quite ready to marry yet.  I’m only sixteen.”

Tracy smiled, winking at Andy.  “I have just the girl in mind.  She was one of the girls in the orphanage.  You don’t mind an older woman, do you?”  She was teasing him, of course, because there had been no girls even close to her age at the orphanage.  Most girls were adopted as soon as they were old enough to be considered helpful around someone’s home.  She hadn’t been up for adoption because of the letter left in her basket.

Francis’s eyes were wide with panic as he shook his head.  “I need to wait until I’m at least twenty-five to marry.”

Andy looked at Francis.  “You didn’t think I should wait that long.”  Andy could tell that Tracy was teasing his brother, so he decided to help.

“But that was different!  I was about to start clubbing you over the head with beef jerky if we didn’t get a decent meal.”  Francis took another bite of his potatoes as he talked.

Andy chuckled.  “We did eat a lot of beef jerky.”

“Yes, we did.  Way too much!” Arthur said, making a face.  “If I’d had to eat beef jerky one more time, I don’t know what I would have done.”

“Killed me?” Andy asked with a smile.  He knew his family had been sick of beef jerky, but they’d rarely complained about it to him.  They’d all known he was doing the best he could with what he had available.

“At least you were smart enough to marry Tracy.  She’s pretty, smart, and she can cook!” Arthur said.  “It’s about time you did something right.”

Tracy stifled a giggle at the banter.  The younger brothers had always been so respectful of Andy that she was genuinely surprised to hear them talk that way.

Andy’s eyes met Tracy’s.  “Smartest thing I ever did.”

Tracy blushed, not believing he was talking that way.  Maybe he was genuinely starting to have feelings for her.  More likely he was trying to find a way to get her to stay and keep cooking.

After dinner, she and Mattie did the dishes, while the boys relaxed around the table.  Sunday was a day of rest, so only necessary chores would be done.  Tracy was glad.  Her body was starting to ache with the constant work she was doing.  Having a day off would be good for her.

After the dishes were finished, she put a pot of beans on to soak.  She’d cook them on low the whole time they were at church, so they’d have a meal ready when they got home.  Mattie ran to get their sewing, and the two of them sat in rocking chairs working, while the three boys sat around the table and played a game with a deck of cards.

Once everyone was in bed, and she’d put her sewing away for the night, Andy asked her to sit and talk with him at the table again.  She took the seat next to him, but made sure she was out of arms reach.  She needed to talk to him as well.

She waited for a minute for him to say something.  When he didn’t, she broached the subject she wanted to talk about.  “I think you should keep your hands to yourself until I go.  I don’t want to risk doing something that would keep us from being able to easily dissolve our marriage.”  Not really, but…she couldn’t stay with things between them as they were.

Andy sighed heavily.  “Do you really think we’re going to be able to easily dissolve our marriage regardless?  We’re not, you know.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve seen how you are with Mattie.  You can’t tell me you’re not growing to love her.  We’re all going to be on the floor hugging your legs begging you not to leave us like a group of toddlers whose mother is about to run away forever.”  He shook his head. 

Tracy smiled at the picture his words painted in her mind.  “You will?  That could be…interesting.”

He scooted his chair closer to hers, taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips.  “I know I wasn’t kind to you your first day here.  I was still in shock that Francis had sent for a wife without even telling me.”  He looked into her eyes, trying to make her understand.  “Now that I’ve gotten to know you a little, I realize that I want you to stay.  Please say you’ll stay with me.”  He needed her to agree to stay for him, not for his siblings, but he didn’t add that.  With the way he’d behaved, he had no right to ask for that.

“What will I do when you change your mind again and decide that life was better before you married me?”  She shook her head.  “No one has ever wanted me around.  My mother dumped me on the steps of an orphanage when I was a few weeks old.  The people in the orphanage took care of me, because that’s what people in orphanages do.  Every friend I ever had got adopted as soon as we became close.”  She pushed the strands of hair that had fallen out of her bun away from her face.  “I can’t stay here with someone else who doesn’t want me.”

Andy closed his eyes for a moment, regretting the pain he’d caused her.  “I’m sorry I added to the pain you already felt.  I never meant to do that.  Please stay with us.  We all want you to stay and be part of our family.”  He scooped her out of her chair and pulled her into his lap.  “Me most of all.”

His lips met hers before she could answer him, and this time his kiss wasn’t filled with passion.  It was a healing kiss, letting her know with his actions that he truly was sorry for the things he’d done.  She sighed against his lips, her hands going to his shoulders to keep steady.  When she lifted her head, she was seriously considering his words.  She wanted so badly to be wanted and needed by someone that she was willing to grasp at straws to get there.  “I don’t know.”

He pulled her face down for another soft kiss, sensing that she was softening.  "Please.  I’ll get down on my knees and beg if you need me to.”  He couldn’t imagine letting her go.  It wasn’t just the cooking.  She was a pretty, intelligent, loving woman.   He needed her for his sister and his brothers.  More importantly, though, he needed her for himself. 

She leaned down and initiated a kiss with him for the first time ever, her lips dancing across his.  “You don’t have to beg.  I’ll stay.”  She sank against him, not realizing until then that she’d been holding herself rigid on his lap, so as little of her body would touch his as possible.  As soon as she agreed, she snuggled close to him.

He took one of her legs and lifted it over his lap to the other side of his hips.  She was then facing him on his lap, and he pulled her down closer to him, deepening the kiss and stroking her soft curves.  “Thank you,” he whispered against her lips.

Tracy was surprised at how intimately she could feel him through their clothes.  They shouldn’t be touching this way in the kitchen.  Even she knew that.  What if one of the children came down the stairs for a drink of water?  She blushed at the very idea.  Pulling her head up, she said, “I’m going to get ready for bed.  Give me five minutes?” she asked.

He shook his head.  “I’m not letting you out of my sight.  I’m afraid you’re going to change your mind.”  He helped her off his lap and got to his feet, holding her hand tightly in his as he led her to their bedroom. 

“I made a promise.  I don’t go back on my promises.”  Tracy tried to push him out the door so she could undress.

“I trust you.  I just don’t want to let you go.”  He kicked the door shut, and kissed her gently, his hands stroking up and down her arms.  “Let me help you get ready for bed.”

Tracy pulled back and looked at him in surprise.  “I know how to change into my nightgown.”

Andy smiled, his lips toying with hers once more.  “You’re not going to wear a nightgown tonight, sweetheart.”

She was surprised to hear him use the endearment.  Sure, she knew he wanted her in his bed, and he wanted her to cook for him and his brothers and sister, but sweetheart?  Really?  “I couldn’t sleep without a nightgown.” She was embarrassed at the very idea.

“Sleeping naked is freeing.  Trust me.”  His hands went to the buttons at the front of her gown and slowly worked them out of their holes.  Once he was finished, he spread the bodice of her dress wide open, looking at her in just her petticoat and corset.  He pushed the dress off her shoulders, his hands smoothing over her.  “You wear too many clothes,” he whispered. 

She blushed, swallowing hard.  “I wear the same amount as any decent woman.”

He chuckled.  “But at night, when there’s no one around but us, I want you to be indecent.”  He pulled her to him again, kissing her passionately, his hands going behind her to work at the strings of her corset.  He’d never helped a woman out of her clothes, or seen one with nothing on before, and his hands were shaking as he helped this woman remove her undergarments. 

Tracy stood docilely, enjoying his kisses and allowing him to undress her.  She felt she was being naughty allowing him to get so close to her, but she also knew he was her husband and had the right to touch her in any way he wanted.

He dropped the corset to the floor and pushed the strap of her petticoat off her shoulder.  “Your skin is like velvet.”  His lips trailed across her cheek, his tongue licking at the place where her neck and shoulder met. 

She shivered in the hot night air.  A jolt of feeling shot right through her body and she sighed, as she leaned her head to the side to give him better access.  “I really should put my nightgown on.”  She felt the need to protest one last time, but she hoped he wouldn’t agree.  What he was doing to her felt so good she never wanted it to stop. 

He pushed the petticoat off her shoulders into a pool on the floor and she stood before him wearing nothing.  She’d taken off her socks and shoes much earlier, because it was so much cooler to go without.  His hands roamed up and down her nude body, cupping her buttocks and pulling her against him.  “I want you,” he whispered against her lips.

Tracy hadn’t realized until that moment that he was still fully clothed while she stood nude before him.  She slowly unbuttoned his shirt, not knowing if she was being too brazen, but she wanted to be able to touch him like he was touching her.  She slid her fingers inside his shirt once it was unbuttoned and toyed with the smooth skin there.

Andy scooped her up into his arms and carried her the few feet to the bed, coming down beside her, pressing his lips to hers.  “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he whispered softly.  “I can’t believe you’re going to stay here with me forever.”

Tracy smiled, her hand going up to stroke his cheek.  “I’ve always needed to be wanted.  Here, I feel like I’m needed.  Like I’m important to people.”

His fingers danced across her bare breast, taking her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and toying with it gently as he lowered his head for another kiss.  “We do need you.  All four of us.”

His hands overwhelmed her as they stroked her wildly.  She wanted nothing more in the world than to be loved by this man.  She wasn’t sure yet what she felt for him, but she knew he was her husband, the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with, so nothing less than love would do.

As he gathered her to him and made her his wife, she clung to his broad shoulders, kissing him passionately.  Afterwards she lay in his arms, snuggled close to him.  “Did I hurt you?” he asked.

She shook her head.  Truthfully there had been a little pain, but mostly it had felt simply glorious.  “No.”  She kissed his chin.  “I’m glad it was you I married and not someone else.”

He sighed, hugging her close, his hands unable to stop roaming over her body even though he was now sated.  “I am too.”

As she closed her eyes, she had a smile on her face.  She would be going with him to church in the morning as his true wife.

Chapter Five

The following morning was hectic as Tracy washed Mattie’s hair for her and gave her a bath after breakfast.  She had meant to bathe her the night before, but she’d forgotten, so she had woken Andy up extra early to have him carry the tub in and help her fill it.  They had each bathed before emptying the tub and refilling it.  She washed Mattie immediately after breakfast, but they left the tub in their bedroom for the boys to take their turns in.

Tracy sat Mattie on the floor at her feet in the kitchen and combed the tangles from her long blond hair.  She then braided it carefully and pinned it atop Mattie’s head, making sure it looked just right for church.  Tracy looked at the old dress the young girl was wearing and wished she’d taken the time to make her a new one.  It was clean, but it was much too small.  It barely covered her knees.  By next Sunday she’d have the new dress made, even if it meant staying up all night on Saturday night getting it ready.

All three of the males wore shirts and ties for Sunday dress, but the shirts were too tight.  The two boys had pants that were too short.  She had a lot of sewing to do to make them look how they should.  She was tired just thinking about the work her new family was causing her, but it was a good tired. 

Just before leaving the house, Tracy put the pot of beans onto the stove to boil so they would be ready when they arrived home.  It wasn’t her favorite dish, but it would be ready when they arrived home, so it made sense that it was what she fixed.

The drive to town seemed much shorter than usual, and Tracy was excited to meet the other people at church.  She had been to church every Sunday since she was a small child, so it felt strange that she’d missed the two weeks before, even though she’d been on a train and there had been no way she could make it.

“Is everyone friendly?” she asked Andy as she sat close to him on the seat.  He used one hand to drive the gentle team and the other held hers tightly. 

Andy smiled down at her.  “It’s a congregation made up of the ranching families in the area and all their hands.  It’s primarily men, so you will be the center of attention.”

Tracy sighed.  “Stay close to me then.  I don’t want other men touching me like what happened in town the other day.”  She hadn’t enjoyed John’s attentions, but she had secretly liked how Andy had reacted to the other man.  She didn’t think Andy would have come around nearly as quickly if he hadn’t realized there were other men interested in her as well.

“You didn’t tell them we were unhappy, did you?  Because if you did, it will be all over town already.”

Tracy shook her head.  “I barely got a word in edgewise.  They knew we were married, but I didn’t say much more.”

“Thank you for not shaming me in front of the town.”  Andy took a deep breath.  “I probably deserved it.”

“No, you didn’t.  You reacted in a normal way.  Your brother sent away for a bride for you.  How were you supposed to react?”  Tracy understood his motivation behind what he’d said better now, because she’d taken the time to think about it and not just see things through her own eyes and hurt feelings.

“As soon as I saw you, I should have gotten down on the ground and kissed his feet.”

Tracy laughed.  “I know I’m not a raving beauty.”  She looked back over her shoulder at Mattie.  “I have a feeling Mattie will be, though.  It’s going to be fun to see what kind of man she’s attracted to.”

Andy shook his head.  “It will.  I hope she’s only attracted to good men.  The idea of her marrying a man who isn’t good for her is frightening.”

He stopped the wagon in front of the church and set the brake.  She could see that several families simply left their wagons in the churchyard, and it looked as if that’s what he would do as well.  The three in the back got down quickly and went to talk with their friends.  She noted that Francis immediately went to a group of boys who were standing beside the church talking about something, while Mattie went to a group of young girls, and Arthur went to a group of boys who were throwing a ball.

Andy walked around the wagon and helped her down, his arm automatically going around her waist.  “Would you like me to introduce you to a few of the wives?”

Tracy nodded, feeling strange that he would automatically introduce her to other wives instead of girls in school.  Yes, she was a wife, but she had been a girl in school just a couple of weeks before.  It was odd how her life had changed so quickly.

He made the rounds with her introducing her to the five women who attended the church.  There were at least fifty people there, but as he’d said, most were ranch hands.  There were a few children, which balanced things out a little.  Tracy found herself the center of attention with man after man coming over and letting her know that if she got tired of Andy they would be waiting. 

As soon as they went to their seats, she leaned over to whisper, “Don’t they believe in marriage?”

“Yes, they do, but they want a wife, and don’t know how to find one.”  His lips against her ear sent a shiver of passion through her body.  She immediately felt guilty about feeling that way in church, but she didn’t know how to stop it.  God had given her feelings of passion, hadn’t He?

Mattie sat down in the pew next to Tracy.  “I’ll give them Elizabeth’s address.”

“Who’s Elizabeth?” he asked. 

“The owner of the mail order bride agency that placed me with you.”  She watched as Arthur and Francis slipped into the pew on the other side of Tracy.

The sermon was short and sweet, and Tracy was shocked when at the end, she was welcomed into the community and invited to stand by the pastor.  She stood, blushing, wishing he hadn’t done that but at the same time understanding she’d get to know people faster that way.

One of the women she’d met before, Abigail, a girl near her age with a baby on her hip, rushed to her side after the sermon.  “Would your family like to join ours for Sunday dinner?”

Tracy looked at Andy who didn’t give any indication that he cared one way or the other.  “I have a pot of beans on the stove cooking.  Maybe next week?”

Abigail nodded.  “We’d like that.  I’ll see you then.”

After several minutes of visiting with others, Tracy followed Andy to the wagon.  He helped her up onto the seat, and the kids climbed into the back.  “The people here seem really nice,” Tracy said to Andy.

“Oh, they are.  I think you’ll like it here.  It’s just like any small town, though, so don’t tell anyone anything you don’t want the entire town to be talking about next week.”

Tracy smiled.  “I’ll do my best.” 

*****

The man impeccably dressed man with shiny black shoes caused a sensation as he stepped off the train in Nowhere.  He went straight to the mercantile, because that seemed the place to get information. 

George, the proprietor, looked up from his dusting.  “What can I do for ya?”

“I’m looking for a woman who I am told has just moved here.  Her name is Tracy.”

George frowned slightly.  “What about her?”  He was wary as he asked the question, his eyes darkening and he immediately looked unfriendly.

“I’ve been hired to find her.  Do you know where she is?”

While the town was small, and constantly talking about their own, they didn’t do so to strangers.  Tracy may have been a newcomer to Nowhere, but she was also one of their own now that she’d married Andy Harvey.  “Never heard of her.”

“So you’re saying that no young woman has moved to this town?”

George shrugged.  “I couldn’t say.”  He turned his back and made it clear the conversation was over.  When he got a chance, he’d send his son who helped him in the store out to let the Harveys know someone was looking for Tracy.  They could decide what to do with the information.

*****

Mattie looked up from her sewing at the sound of horse’s hooves.  “Someone’s here.”

Tracy set down her own sewing and walked to the door.  The man in the yard didn’t look familiar to her, but that wasn’t surprising.  She’d met so many people the two Sundays she’d made it to church that there was no way she could possibly remember them all.  She stepped out into the yard and shaded her eyes, looking up at the man still atop his horse.  “Can I help you?”

“I need to talk to Andy.  He around?”

“He said they were moving the herd today.  I’m not sure where they are, though.  Can I help you with something?”

The man shook his head.  “Nope.  My pa said I need to talk to Andy and no one else.”  He tipped his hat to Tracy and Mattie, who had slipped up behind her, and rode off, obviously looking for Andy.

Tracy looked down at Mattie.  “Do you know who that was?”

Mattie nodded.  “He’s George’s son.”

“Who’s George?”

Mattie smiled.  “He’s the man who owns the mercantile.”

Tracy shrugged.  It must be something to do with business then.  “This second dress is almost done.  Just needs to be hemmed.  Are you ready to go try it on?”

Mattie smiled happily.  “Yes, please.”

The two made their way back into the house, and Tracy dismissed the man from her thoughts.  She had more important things to do.  If whatever he was there for was important, Andy would tell her.

*****

Andy looked worried when he came home that night, but he didn’t say anything to Tracy about what was wrong.  She waited until the others were in bed before walking up behind him and rubbing his shoulders.  “Is something wrong?” she asked.

The almost two weeks since they’d first gone to church together had passed quickly.  They spent their days working and their nights loving one another.  There was no doubt in Tracy’s mind that she’d done the right thing by marrying Andy and deciding to stay.  She was happier than she’d ever been with her new family in Texas.  Andy still hadn’t said he loved her, but that was fine.  They’d only known one another for two weeks after all.  It was enough that they enjoyed being together.

Andy shook his head.  He wasn’t sure if he should tell her about the man in town looking for her, but he decided against it.  In his experience, people who were looking for strangers were never up to any good.  He opened his mouth to tell her, but decided against it at the last minute.  Hopefully the man would just move on.

“Nothing’s wrong except that I had to spend the whole day away from you.”  He caught her around the waist and pulled her into his lap, kissing her enthusiastically.

Tracy giggled.  “Not here.  I’m always afraid someone will wander down here and see us.”

“They all know I kiss you.  What’s wrong with seeing it?”

“It just wouldn’t be proper.”  She got off his lap and sat beside him in a chair.  “Would you like another piece of cake?  A glass of milk?”

“That would be great.”  He watched her as she got the milk and cake for both of them.  “Did you know any rich people back in Massachusetts?” he asked.

Tracy shook her head.  “Only Elizabeth Miller, the woman from the mail order bride agency, and I really didn’t know her.  Just met her a few times.”  She set the food on the table in front of Andy.  “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.  I’ve never really known a rich man.”

Tracy rolled her eyes.  “Are you going to turn into one of those men who can think of nothing but money?”

“Not at all.  I would like to provide a good home for my family, though.”

She smiled, her hand rubbing his arm.  “You already do that.”  Taking a bite of her cake, she pointed to his with her fork.  “There must be something wrong.  That cake has been in front of you for an entire minute, and there’s not a bite missing from it.”

He just shook his head, obviously lost in thought.  “No, nothing’s wrong.” 

Tracy worried as she finished her cake and washed their plates.  “I’m going to go get ready for bed,” she said.

He stood up.  “I’ll come with you.”

Tracy smiled, taking his hand and leading him toward the bedroom.  Hopefully she could distract him from whatever was wrong.

*****

Two days later, as they were heading to church, Andy still seemed nervous to Tracy.  She couldn’t put her finger on the problem, but it was obvious there was one.  He had seemed very distracted around her and was really only himself when they made love.

“I can’t wait to see Abigail today.  I want to ask her to make a couple of bows for Mattie’s hair.  She does such a great job with little Deborah’s bows.”  Deborah was her new friend’s eight month old daughter.

Andy just nodded absently.  “You don’t mind if Mattie and I go see her one day this week so she could teach me to make them, do you?”  She loved the idea of being able to make bows for Mattie.

“That’s fine.”

“Do you want me to make a cake for dessert tonight?  Or a pie?”

“That’s fine.”

Tracy frowned at Andy.  “I’ll make a pie and frost it with cow manure then.”  He obviously wasn’t listening to her.

“That’s fine.”

Tracy sighed.  “Have you heard one word I’ve said to you, Andrew Harvey?”

Andy looked over at her in surprise.  “What?”

She shook her head sadly.  “That’s what I thought.  You’re not listening to a word I’m saying!”  He was even more distracted that morning than he’d been the past few days.  Something was definitely wrong.

“I’m sorry, Tracy.  I’m just…thinking.”

“About what?  Rich men?”

When Andy didn’t respond to that, she knew that’s what he was thinking about again.  “Andy, there is no way I’d take a rich man over you.  Now stop worrying.”

Andy looked at Tracy like she’d grown two heads.  He wasn’t worried about her running off with a rich man.  Why would she even think such a thing?  “I know that.”  He kept staring off into space, finally pulling up in front of the church.  As he helped her down, he looked around for a well-dressed man that he’d never seen before, but he didn’t spot one.  He still kept Tracy as close to him as he could.

Once they were inside the church and sat down, Tracy felt a tap on her shoulder.  She turned around and smiled up at the stranger behind her.  “Can I help you?”

He stared at her with wide eyes, as if he were looking at a ghost.  “Is your name Tracy?” he asked.

She nodded, her eyes wide.  How did this stranger know her?

Andy left his hand on her shoulder, indicating she should stay in her seat, before getting up and grabbing the man’s arm, pulling him out of the church.  “Who are you and what do you want with my wife?”  He’d been waiting to confront this man since he’d heard he was in town.

The man sighed.  “I’m a private detective.  Tracy’s mother hired me to find her.”

“Tracy doesn’t have a mother.  She was left on the doorstep of a church.”

The stranger indicated a bench in front of the church.  “My name is Steven Chandler.  Tracy’s mother came to me a month ago, and told me the whole story behind what happened.  When Tracy was a week old, her father was killed in a fire.  Their house was destroyed, and she and her mother were left penniless.  Her mother searched for someone to take them both in, but couldn’t find anyone.  Finally, she took a job in Boston as a maid, but one of the requirements of the job was that she not have a child.”

Andy looked at the other man, listening to him.  He didn’t want their lives to change.  “Go on.”

“She decided to leave Tracy on the doorstep of a local orphanage with a note, saying she would be back for her.  She had every intention of going back a month or two later, but the months turned into years.  To make a long story short, her mother has married again, and her husband has agreed to let Tracy come and live with them.  She’d have money and a life of leisure.”

Andy shook his head.  “No.  She’s my wife.”  Why would the man even think such a thing was possible?  Women didn’t just leave their husbands for better opportunities.

Steven sighed.  “She could have so much more than this life.  Her mother is married to one of the wealthiest men in Boston.  She could have a real life there.”

Andy stood.  “She has a real life here.  Go away.”  He walked back into the church and sat down beside Tracy, his mind going over and over the words Steve had said in his mind.  Should he let her go?  Shouldn’t she at least meat her mother?  But what about Mattie?  Mattie would hate him if he let Tracy go.

After church, he grabbed Tracy’s arm and hurried her out of the church, helping her into the wagon.  He told Francis to get the other two and get into the wagon immediately.  He needed to tell Tracy what had happened, but he wasn’t about to do it in the churchyard with everyone listening in. 

As they drove, he told her what the other man had said, and Tracy sat worrying the skirt of her dress.  “I don’t want to leave,” she said in a whisper.  But inside, she couldn’t help but wonder what her mother was like.  Her whole life she’d dreamed about what it would be like to have a real mother.  And now she was being offered one?  Now when she was finally with a family who loved her? 

She didn’t want to leave, but she wanted to meet the woman who had given her life.  Why had she left her on the doorsteps?  And why hadn’t she come back for her as she’d said she would?  Why was she looking for her now?

She asked Andy those questions, and he gave her the story Steve Chandler had told him.  Tears streamed down her face.  For the first time in her life, there was more than one person who wanted her, but they lived in different states. 

When they got home, Tracy served the roast she’d had in the oven while they were gone, but she just toyed with her own food.  The children had no idea what had happened, but they could tell something was upsetting her.  After lunch, she did the dishes with Mattie as always, and then announced she needed a nap.

Mattie watched the door close with Tracy on the other side.  “Tracy never takes naps, Andy.  What did you do?”  Her voice was filled with accusation.  She obviously blamed Andy for Tracy’s upset.

Andy shook his head, not knowing how to answer that.  Truly, he’d done nothing wrong, but his sister wouldn’t see it that way.  After a moment, he followed her into the bedroom and sat beside her on the bed, stroking her back.  “Do you want to meet your mother?” he asked, feeling as if his heart was being pulled from his body as he asked.

Tracy turned toward him on the bed, her eyes bloodshot with tears.  “Of course, I want to meet my mother.  How could I not want to meet her?  But I don’t want to leave you or the boys or Mattie.”  She sat up and threw herself into his arms.  “I truly don’t know what to do.”

Andy sighed.  “If I could leave the ranch, I’d go with you, but I can’t just leave my brothers and sister.”

“I know.  I’m not asking you to do anything.  I’m just telling you how I feel.  All my life I’ve felt rejected, like I wasn’t good enough to be loved by anyone, and now suddenly I have a mother who wants me, and a husband who wants me to stay.  What can I do?”  She felt torn between her mother and her new family, but she knew deep down that her responsibility was to her new family, not to the woman who’d given her birth and abandoned her.

Andy just held her close, letting her cry.  “Why don’t you write to your mother?  We can give the letter to Steve Chandler tomorrow.”

Tracy considered that for a moment before nodding.  “I can do that.”  It seemed like a good solution.  It wouldn’t be meeting her, but at least she would know that Tracy cared to meet her.  She loved the idea of corresponding with her mother.

That evening, after the children were in bed, she carefully penned a letter to her mother.  She didn’t even know how to start the letter.  “Dear Mother” seemed way too familiar when she hadn’t seen the woman in over eighteen years.  What was the right thing to do?

Finally, she settled on, “Dear Mother,  I’m not sure exactly what to say to you.  I’ve waited for fifteen years to finally meet you and now that you’re ready, I’m newly married with a family to take care of.  My new husband has three younger siblings that he cares for, and a ranch he can’t leave, so I really can’t make a trip out to Massachusetts to meet you right now.  My heart breaks as I write those words, because I so desperately want to sit and talk to you and ask you all the questions that I’ve wondered about for years.  I’ve married a good man.  His name is Andrew Harvey and his younger siblings are Francis, age sixteen, Arthur, age ten, and Matilda, age seven.  Mattie is my little shadow and does everything with me.  I truly wish I could come see you, but I can’t abandon the family I’ve come to love.  I would be happy to correspond with you, though, and I’m glad to finally be able to do that.  I will give this letter to Steven Chandler tomorrow, and I hope that you’ll respect my wishes and write me in return.  Sincerely, Tracy.”

Tracy set the letter on the work table and left it there.  “I need to get some things from the mercantile tomorrow anyway, so I’ll go ahead and take it to town then.”

Andy walked up behind her and rubbed her shoulders, his hands soothing her.  “I’ll go with you.  There’s no reason for you to face him alone.”

Tracy turned into his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around her husband.  The children were there, but for once she didn’t care.  She kissed him softly.  “Thank you.  I was hoping you’d offer.”

*****

The long drive to town the next day had Tracy wiggling in her seat.  “You have ants in your pants?” Andy asked, his eyes filled with mischief.

Mattie, sitting between them, said, “She doesn’t wear pants, Andy.  She’s a girl!”

Tracy laughed as the words broke the tension she’d been feeling since he’d told her who the man was.  Once they got to town, they went to the mercantile.  Andy went straight to George.  “Do you know where the man who’s been looking for Tracy is staying?”

George nodded.  “He’s been at the boarding house.”

Andy took Tracy’s letter.  “You do your shopping.  I’ll give it to him.”

Tracy smiled with relief.  She really didn’t want to have to tell the man why she’d decided to stay in Texas, instead of taking a train to meet her mother. 

Andy went to the boarding house for men and knocked on the door.  When Mr. Jones, the proprietor answered the door, Andy smiled.  “I have a letter for Mr. Steven Chandler.  Is he in?”

Mr. Jones stepped aside.  “He is.  I’ll go get him.”

When Steven came into the room, Andy held out the letter.  “Tracy wrote her mother a letter, and we’d appreciate it if you could take it to her.”

Steven nodded.  “I’d be happy to.  Tracy looks exactly like her mother.”  He shook his head.  “When I first saw her it was like looking into her mother’s face.”

Andy sighed.  “There’s no doubt she’s the one then, is there?”

“None at all.  She doesn’t want to go live with her?”

“Tracy spent her entire life waiting for her mother to return to the orphanage and get her.  She’s been all alone feeling like she was unlovable all that time.  She’s finally found a place with me and with my family, and she just can’t leave it.”

“She’d have wealth beyond her wildest dreams.”

Andy shook his head.  “She’s happier with feeling loved and wanted.”

Steven nodded.  “I’ll take her mother the letter.  I don’t think she’ll give up, but I’ll try at least.”  He looked as if he understood Tracy’s decision to stay, but it was hard to tell.

“Thank you.”  Andy turned and left the house, walking back to the mercantile.  There was another small mountain of supplies. 

He walked up behind his wife as she placed several skeins of yarn atop the pile.  “Do we really need all of this?” he asked.

Tracy turned to him and nodded.  “I want to get started on Christmas presents for all of you.  I have a lot of sewing to do.  And I’ve discovered a secret in the time I’ve lived with our family.”

“You have?  What’s that?”

Tracy looked around as if she was about to share the location of a secret treasure.  “All of you like to eat.”

Andy laughed, rubbing his hand up and down her arm.  She seemed a great deal happier today than she had the day before.  “That’s very true.  I gave him the letter.”

If Tracy was surprised by the quick change of topic, she didn’t let it show.  “Thank you.”  She added two more things to the top of the pile.  “I think that’s everything.”

Mattie stood behind Tracy, the gap where she’d lost her two top teeth showing through her grin.  “May I have a peppermint stick?” she asked.  “Just one please?”

Tracy smiled, having expected the question.  “Because you were so good, you may have one.”

Mattie quickly selected her stick while George used a pencil and paper to add up their purchases.  Tracy tried not to think about the woman who was in Boston, wondering if she’d be coming to see her soon.  She couldn’t think about it.  She was too busy with her new family.

Chapter Six

Tracy had been in Texas for four weeks when she realized that she was carrying.  She waited a couple of days for just the right time to tell Andy, but finally blurted it out in bed one night.  “We’re having a baby!”  She watched his face carefully for his reaction. 

Andy’s face slid into a slow grin.  “That’s great!”

“I wasn’t sure you wanted a baby.  You’ve never mentioned it, and you’re already raising your siblings.”

Andy shrugged.  “Of course I want a child of my own.  Well, since I’ve met you I do.  I guess I never really thought about it much before, but I can’t imagine not having a baby with you.”  He stroked her cheek gently, thrilled that they would have a child together.  “You’re going to be a good mother.”

Tracy smiled.  “So is that why you’re always pouncing on me in bed at night?”

Andy shook his head.  “I do that because you’re beautiful, and I can’t seem to keep my hands off you.”  He showed her he was serious by starting to stroke her once again.  How could any man be expected to not touch such a beautiful woman?

She snuggle close beside him, wondering if this was how her mother had felt when she’d found out she was pregnant with her.  So happy she couldn’t imagine that life would ever not be perfect again.  She put her hand over her belly, wishing she could already feel it kicking.  She’d never wanted anything in her life as much as she wanted the child she was carrying.  She couldn’t imagine any circumstance where she would not keep her child by her side.  For the first time in her life, she wondered what her mother could have been thinking to leave her.  Was she not someone who felt motherly affection?

They’d heard nothing yet from her mother, and she wondered if they would.  She wouldn’t be surprised if the woman just didn’t want to mess with her after she rejected her, but Tracy had done what she needed to do for her own family. Surely her mother would understand that.

*****

Francis drove the wagon into town for supplies with Tracy and Mattie as passengers.  Tracy was in her fifth month, and was thankful the weather was cooling off for her.  November was proving to be a busy month.  She’d finished all the canning and jam making the month before, and had thought November would feel like a rest, but she was working at making gifts for her family for Christmas.  She’d never had a Christmas with people she cared about, so it was special for her.

Andy was sweet and gentle to her, but still hadn’t told her he loved her, and she wished the words would come.  She couldn’t make herself say them before he did, though.  She had spent so long feeling unloved and unlovable, there was no way she’d ever be able to say the words first.  She had to know that he felt them before she could say them to him.

Her greatest sadness was that she’d never heard back from her mother.  Apparently the fact that she’d refused to go see her had been enough to make it so her mother didn’t want her at all.  Tracy tried not to care, but she’d felt like she was so close to having the mystery that was her mother solved, it hurt not to hear from her.  She had never been told the woman’s name, so she couldn’t send another letter to try to find her.

Mattie was doing very well with the schoolwork Tracy gave her.  She was reading well and learning her sums as quickly as any child Tracy had ever seen.  Tracy didn’t feel like she was a qualified teacher, but apparently that didn’t matter, because Mattie was learning.  The two older boys were doing their lessons in the evening once the ranch work was finished for the day.

The afternoon air was chilly, but not cold.  Tracy and Mattie had shawls over their dresses, but there was no need to even wear a coat yet.  In Massachusetts there would have been snow by that time of year.  Thanksgiving was just a week away, and Tracy was getting the groceries she needed to prepare a feast for her family.

A strong wind blew up just as they got to town, and Tracy shivered a little as Francis helped her down from the wagon.  She laughed as the door to the mercantile seemed to fight her and she was barely able to get it open.  Mattie hurried inside with her, ready to carry the shopping basket for Tracy.  Andy was adamant that she carry nothing and take it as easy as she could while she was large and unwieldy.  Tracy told him over and over that being pregnant was normal, and she could continue to do what she needed to do, but Andy wouldn’t listen.

When Tracy stepped into the store, George turned to stare at her, nodding his head toward the back of the store.  “Did you get new fabric in?” Tracy asked with a smile.  She didn’t wait for his answer, but instead rushed to the back of the store to see what was new there.  While her new family didn’t have unlimited funds, they were much more wealthy than anything Tracy had ever experienced.  She and Mattie each had several new dresses.  Tracy was forever perusing the fabric display and finding more material to make dresses with.  She’d also made new dress clothes for the men, but they bought their work clothes ready-made.

She and Mattie rushed to the back of the store to look through the new goods, and Tracy stopped short.  There was a new woman in town with hair the exact shade of red as her and green eyes to match.  Her features were older, but she could have been Tracy’s big sister…or mother.

“I…”  Tracy didn’t know what she’d started to say.  What she could say.  Was this her mother?  Who else could it be?

Mattie clung to Tracy’s hand.  “Tracy, is that your sister?”  She stared at the older woman, trying to figure out who she was.

Tracy looked down at the little girl.  “You’re my only sister, sweetie.”  Mattie seemed to instantly hate the other woman.  Tracy wasn’t sure if it was jealousy or what, but she knew she needed soothing.

The woman spoke for the first time, her voice shaky.  “So you are Tracy?”

Tracy nodded, unsure what to say.  What did you say to the mother who abandoned you as an infant and then refused to respond to your letter you sent her as an adult?  What could she say?

Her mother’s eyes dropped to Tracy’s expanded waistline, before studying her features carefully.  “I’m Cecelia Hebert.  I’m your mother.”  She still stared at Tracy’s face as if she were trying to memorize every feature.

Tracy and Andy had not told the children about the possibility of meeting her mother, because they didn’t want Mattie to be afraid she’d lose Tracy.  The two had become closer than ever, and Mattie was just starting to come out of her shell with strangers and turn back into the precocious little girl she’d always been.  They would do anything they could to keep her feeling confident about herself and not afraid of losing loved ones.

Tracy felt like she was being too formal, but she didn’t know how else to react as she lifted her hand to shake the other woman’s.  “I’m Tracy Harvey.”

Cecelia reached out and took Tracy’s shoulders in her hands, pulling her close for a hug.  “I’m so happy to meet you.”

Tracy held herself stiffly, feeling that she’d been rejected by this woman not once, but twice.  Once as an infant and once six months before when she’d not answered her letter.  Tracy nodded formally.  “It’s nice to finally meet you.”  She took a step back.  “This is my sister-in-law, Mattie.”

Mattie looked at the older woman with wide eyes.  “You can’t be Tracy’s mother.  Tracy’s an orphan.”  Her face was filled with disbelief in the other woman’s words.

Cecelia shook her head, a sad look on her face.  “I left Tracy on the doorstep of the orphanage because her father died and I couldn’t take care of her.  It was either that or starve.”

“Tracy would have found a way to keep you.”  Mattie turned away.  “I’m going to pick out some fabric for the Christmas dress you’re going to make me,” she told Tracy.  The little girl walked away, going to the nearby table with the fabric.

Tracy looked at her mother, feeling nothing.  All those years she’d dreamed of meeting her mother finally and flying into her open arms, being held tightly.  Now, all she really wanted was to get this first meeting over with.  “I’m sorry about Mattie.  She feels very protective of the people she loves.”  Tracy stood with her fists clenched at her sides.  What did this woman want from her?  She obviously wasn’t feeling motherly affection, or she’d have come for her a long time ago.

Cecelia gave a half smile.  “Who can blame her?”  She reached out as if to touch Tracy’s shoulder, but let her hand drop after a moment.  “I always planned to come back for you.”

Tracy nodded once.  “Yes, that’s what the note attached to my basket read.”  The note had long since been destroyed as she had read it and re-read it over the years.  Every time she’d opened it she’d been certain she would find some clue as to why her mother had left her and when she would be back.  She had spent hours as a young child staring out the window of the bedroom she shared with nine other girls at the orphanage just waiting for her mother to drive up in a big white carriage and take her to her new home.

“Your father died in a fire when you were just a week old.  I…had no family.  Everything we had was destroyed.  I was a seventeen year old widow with a newborn baby.  I didn’t know what to do!  I found a job in the city, but one of the requirements was that I not have a child.  I wouldn’t have been able to support us if I’d taken you with me.”  Cecelia had shrugged as if to say she’d had no choice in the matter.

“So you left me.”  Tracy wanted to say she understood, but honestly?  She didn’t.  Mattie was right.  If the house burned down tomorrow and she lost everything she had, including Andy and his brothers, she would find a way to keep Mattie and the child growing inside her.  She couldn’t do anything less.

“I didn’t leave you.  I was going to come back for you as soon as I had a better job.”  Cecelia’s face begged for Tracy to understand.

Tracy nodded.  “It’s hard to find a job when you’re young and female.  I know that.”  She knew because she’d been there. 

Cecelia’s face seemed to relax a little.  “So you understand why I did what I did.  I loved you with everything inside me.  I cried when I left you there on that doorstep.”

Tracy shrugged.  “It must have been difficult for you.”  She sighed.  “I’m sorry, but I’m not sure what you want me to do now.  I’ve spent the last eighteen and a half years as an unwanted orphan.  Six months ago, I married and I have a family who loves me for the first time in my life.  I’m not leaving them.”

“But I can offer you and your baby so much more!  My husband is a banker.  We have a huge beautiful home in Boston with servants to take care of us.”  She eyed Tracy’s hands which were definitely red and callused from the hard work she did every day.  “You’d never have to wash another dish.  You’d never have to scrub your clothes against a washboard.”

“I’d never be able to be with the family I love.”  She took a deep shuddering breath.  “Mattie may not be my child, but she’s a child of my heart.  The child I carry is going to grow up in a house filled with love and laughter.  I didn’t grow up in that kind of house.  I will give my child everything I didn’t have where love and laughter are concerned, even though that means that I won’t be able to give them everything financially.  Love is more important than all the money in the world.”

Tracy turned away from the woman and her fancy silk dress.  She walked over to wear Mattie was looking at the fabrics for her Christmas dress.  She picked up a pretty green fabric and showed Mattie.  “What about this one?  I think it would look good on you with your light complexion, and it would match my eyes.  We could make matching dresses.”  Tracy did her best to act as if nothing had happened, but her hand was shaking visibly.

Mattie clapped her hands together excitedly.  “I’d like that!”  Tracy picked up the fabric and took it to the front of the store while she picked through the groceries.  “Oh, you got some cranberries in, just in time for Thanksgiving.  We need both potatoes and sweet potatoes as well.” 

Mattie trailed along behind Tracy carrying everything the older girl picked out.  She watched Tracy with a look of absolute adoration on her face.  When Mattie stopped in front of a display of crochet hooks, Tracy followed her gaze.  “Do you want to learn to crochet?”

Mattie nodded enthusiastically.  “Yes, please!  I want to be able to make presents without your help for next Christmas.”

Tracy smiled, rubbing her belly.  The baby had been kicking like crazy since they got to the store.  “With as fast as you learn, there will be no problem with that.”  She selected a hook and put it in the basket Mattie was carrying.  “I’ll start teaching you as soon as I can.”

Tracy paid for their things while Mattie ran out to the wagon to get Francis so he could carry everything out for them.  After helping her into the wagon, Francis walked around to the other side to drive them home.  “Thank you for helping,” Tracy said with a smile.

As they were about to drive away, she heard a yell.  “Tracy wait!”

Tracy turned and looked at the woman standing beside her wagon.  “Yes?”  She held her breath while she waited to hear what her mother had to say to her.  She thought everything had been said.

“Would it be all right if I stayed in town for a while and got to know you?”

Tracy nodded.  “Everyone in town knows where we live.  Just ask around.  I’ll be back on Sunday for church.”  She knew she should be friendlier, but really?  How could she just develop feelings of love for a woman she hadn’t seen since she was a few weeks old?  It wasn’t possible.  She would have to get to know her like any other stranger.

Cecelia nodded, a sad look in her eyes.  Tracy felt as if she’d done something wrong by letting the other woman know her family came first, but she wasn’t certain why.  Surely the woman must understand that she’d had a life in the eighteen years since she’d left her.

They were halfway home before Francis asked the question that Tracy knew he’d been fighting not to ask since they’d left the mercantile.  “Who was that woman?  She looked just like you.”

Tracy sighed.  “My mother.”  She didn’t explain.  At that moment, she never wanted to have to explain again.

Francis looked at her with shock.  “But…you’re an orphan.”

“She left me on the doorsteps of the orphanage when I was three weeks old, always intending to come back for me, but the time was never right.  She recently married and started looking for me around the time I moved here.”  Tracy kept rubbing her belly, thinking about the baby she carried and wondering how her mother could have left her…for eighteen full years.

“What exactly does she want?”  Francis’s voice was incredulous, as if he was baffled by Tracy’s mother showing up as well.

Tracy wondered for a moment how much she should tell them.  “She wants me to move to Boston.  She said she can give my baby and me a better life.”

Francis stared straight ahead as he drove.  “What do you think?”

“I think I’m with the only family I’ve ever had.  There’s no way I’m going to go to another state to be with a total stranger.  If she’d wanted to be a part of my life, she should have done it years ago.  Not now.”  Tracy was afraid she’d sound cold to the younger man, but she wasn’t going to apologize for feeling no emotion toward the mother who left her.

Francis sighed with relief.  He couldn’t imagine how Andy would feel if she left.  He wasn’t willing to put up with his brother’s bad moods that would surely result in her leaving.  “Does Andy know she’s here?”

Tracy shook her head.  “He knew she sent someone out to find me back in May.”

“May?  This has been going on since May and no one said anything?”  Francis’s voice was filled with anger.  Tracy had never heard any negative emotion from Francis and was more than a little surprised.

“We didn’t want to worry anyone.  I knew as soon as I found out what the man wanted that I wasn’t going anywhere.”  Tracy explained the decision not to tell them the best way she could.

Francis still seemed upset that they hadn’t said anything.  “I still think you should have told us.”

Tracy sighed.  “Maybe we should have.  I didn’t see a need for all of you to worry that I was leaving when there was no way I was going to do it.” 

No more was said the entire way home.  Francis unhitched the team and went in search of Andy.  He didn’t even carry all their new purchases inside before seeking out his brother as he normally would have done. 

*****

Andy looked up from the fence he was mending to see Francis riding as fast as he could across the range.  He knew he’d taken Tracy and Mattie into town that morning, so he wasn’t sure what was making him so upset. 

Francis stopped in front of him, dismounting in one quick move.  Andy, a good horseman himself, was always envious of Francis’s way with horses.  Andy had all the moves technically right, and did what he was supposed to do, but Francis was a natural.  The things Andy had learned from a young age, Francis had just been able to do with no one teaching him.

“What’s wrong?” Andy asked, his face concerned.  “Is something wrong with Tracy or the baby?”  He couldn’t bear it if something happened to one of them.  It was hard enough losing his parents.  Losing his wife or child would break him.

Francis shook his head.  “Her mother is in town.”

Andy felt all the color drain from his face.  “Her mother came here?  But…she never answered Tracy’s letter.”  Why was she there?  Was she going to try to talk Tracy into leaving with her?  He couldn’t let her go.  He couldn’t!

Francis sighed.  “I didn’t even know that Tracy’s mother had magically appeared.  Why didn’t you tell any of us?”

Andy shook his head.  “We’ll talk about it later.  Is Tracy all right?”  He walked to Francis’s horse and quickly threw himself into the saddle.  Meeting her mother had been so important to her that she’d taken the second rejection hard, even though she’d put on a brave face about it.

“She seems fine.  I don’t know.”

“Take my horse when you’re ready.  Finish the fence.”  Andy rode off toward the house, wanting to check on Tracy.  Had she actually talked to her mother?  Was she upset?

When he got back to the house, he saw the two girls trying to unload the back of the wagon.  Mattie stood in the bed and handed things down to Tracy who made a small pile.  There was no way she could carry it all in herself.  Their food bill had certainly gone up since Tracy had arrived, but he wasn’t complaining one bit.  He hadn’t had a single bite of beef jerky in six months.  How would they go back to living the way they had before she’d come to them?

Jumping down, he walked over to Tracy, taking her arm.  “Are you all right?  Did you talk to her?”

Tracy nodded.  “Yes, to both things.  I met her and realized she’s like every other stranger in the world to me.  She gave birth to me, yes, but that’s all she ever did.  It was…a strange feeling.”

“What do you mean?”

Tracy tried to figure out how to explain it.  “Well, my whole life I’ve dreamed of what it would be like to meet my mother.  How I would see her and run into her arms and be held tightly.  We would both cry and I would know that she’d always loved me and life just kept her away from me.”

Andy gave a half-smile.  He’d realized very quickly that Tracy was a romantic and got excited over every little thing.  She would work up something in her head to be perfect and everything less tended to disappoint her.  “It wasn’t like that?”

Tracy shook her head.  “I didn’t even know what to say to her.  Or what to call her.  Her name is Cecelia, but calling her Cecelia seems impersonal and rude.  Calling her Mother…it just doesn’t feel right to me.”

Andy stroked Tracy’s cheek.  “You could start with Cecelia then.”

Tracy made a face.  “It sounds so formal.”  She sighed.  “Anyway, I told her I was happy here.  That I have a family for the first time in my life, and I feel loved for the first time ever, and that I couldn’t leave.”

“Good.  I’m glad you stood up to her.”

Tracy bit her lip.  “She said that she could give me servants and the baby and I would never want for anything.  I’d never have to wash a dish again.”  She laughed.  “I have to admit, I like the sound of that part of things.”  Tracy did dishes three times a day without a single complaint, but Andy knew she hated them.

Andy grinned.  “She accepted that you weren’t moving to Boston to be close to her?”

“I think so.  Just as we drove away, she said she’s going to stay in town a while so she can get to know me better.”  Tracy shrugged.  “I guess that’s okay as long as she doesn’t try to pressure me into leaving.”

Andy pulled her close, resting his cheek on top of her head.  “I think it would be good for you to get to know her, but I don’t want you leaving.”

Tracy chuckled.  “I’m not going anywhere.  I couldn’t take Mattie away from her brothers.”  The grin she gave him told him she was teasing him somehow.

He looked at her.  “Mattie?  If you did leave, she’d stay with me.”

“Oh no, she wouldn’t!  That girl is mine now!”  The look of ferocity on Tracy’s face was almost comical.

He laughed.  “You’re not leaving, though, so it doesn’t matter.”

She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.  “I don’t guess I could talk you into helping me unload the wagon since you’re here.”  She was not looking forward to carrying in even half of what they’d purchased, and she knew Andy wouldn’t want her to.  He was very protective of her and the baby.

“I think that’s why Francis came to get me.  He’s tired of lugging your purchases.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t want me lifting anything.”  She patted her belly, now very rounded.

“No, I don’t.”  He pushed her toward the door.  “Go inside while I deal with this stuff.”

Tracy headed into the house to put things away as he carried them inside.  She was glad he’d come home early.  She was holding things together, yes, but she felt like she’d done something terrible with the way she’d talked to her mother. 

When Andy came into the house, she asked, “Are you still planning on shooting a turkey for Thanksgiving?”

Andy nodded.  “We don’t need it for almost a week, though.”

“I know.  I just want to make sure you haven’t forgotten.”  She paused for a minute watching him.  “How would you feel if I invited my mother to eat with us on Thanksgiving?  She’ll be away from the people she loves on the holiday.”  She both liked and hated the idea of inviting her mother.

Andy frowned.  “I hate the idea, but if it will make you happy, then do it.”

Tracy smiled, walking across the room to hug him tightly.  “Thank you.”  She couldn’t abandon the woman as she’d been abandoned.

He stroked her cheek.  “You’re the one who has to make extra food.”

*****

Tracy fixed Mattie’s hair for church on Sunday morning, carefully arranging the braids she’d formed.  “You look so grown up with your hair that way.  I think I’ll leave the braids down so I can make you stay a little girl.”

Mattie giggled.  “You really think I look grown up with my hair this way?”  She obviously loved the idea of looking older, like most young girls.

“You look at least nine,” Tracy fibbed, trying to conceal her laugh. 

Mattie walked around with her head held a little higher as she finished getting ready to go. 

Tracy walked into the kitchen, completely ready for church.  She was going to have to make herself a couple of new dresses, because she couldn’t let out the ones she had even another inch.  She walked to the table where Francis and Andy were drinking coffee.  “I’m ready.”

Tracy was surprised her mother hadn’t made the trip out to the ranch yet, but maybe no one had been willing to tell her where the house was.  Or maybe she’d given up and gone back to Boston.  Tracy was surprised by the sadness she felt at the idea of the other woman giving up.  She wanted her mother to want to have a relationship with her, even if she herself didn’t want one.

She wanted, just for once, for her mother to care about seeing her and work toward it.  She didn’t understand why she didn’t at least visit or write letters over the years.  Tracy needed to understand what had happened during the years they’d been apart.  For some reason, it mattered more than anything.

“You finally ready?” Andy asked.  He loved to tease her about how long it took her to ready herself for church every week.

Tracy made a face.  “I’m waiting on you.  As usual.”

They made their way out to the wagon.  He’d sent Francis out earlier to hitch up the team, and Tracy had a big bowl of chicken and dumplings in the oven keeping warm.  The dinner rolls she’s made the day before were covered and ready to eat as well.

When they reached the church, Andy helped Tracy down, keeping a casual arm around her waist.  She was happy to have him beside her, especially since she didn’t know when or where her mother would pop up next.  Or if.  There was a big ‘if’ as well.

As soon as they stepped into the church, her mother made a beeline for her.  “Tracy!” Cecelia called.

Tracy looked up as the older woman grabbed her and hugged her close.  Tracy took a deep breath before pulling away.  She didn’t feel close enough to her mother to hug her.  It felt strange being grabbed by her that way.  “This is my husband, Andrew Harvey.  Andy, my mother, Cecelia Hebert.”

Andy nodded.  “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Hebert.”

Cecelia looked at Andy for a moment, studying his clothes as if she thought he wasn’t quite good enough for her daughter.  Tracy said nothing, wanting to scream that he had stood by her, no matter how he dressed.  “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

Tracy bit her lip for a moment, wondering if this was the right time to ask.  “I thought maybe you’d like to come out to our house and have Thanksgiving dinner with us.”

Cecelia’s face lit up excitedly.  “I’d love that!  If there were a restaurant in this tiny town, I’d invite you to have dinner with me today.”  She obviously thought that not only was Tracy’s new family lacking, but the town itself was lacking as well.  Would anything be good enough for her baby?

Before she could stop herself, Tracy said, “I’ve already made Sunday dinner, but you’re welcome to join us.”

Andy stiffened a bit at her words, but immediately echoed the invitation.  “Yes, you’re welcome to eat with us.”

“I’d like that.”  Cecelia smiled happily.  “I have a buggy that I’ve borrowed for the duration of my stay.  You’ll just need to give me directions.”

“You can follow us out after church,” Andy suggested.  He knew he should have just drawn the woman a map, but he didn’t want to waste that much time on her.  There was something about her that he just couldn’t trust.

“I’ll do that.”  Cecelia looked around for Mattie.  “Where’s your little sister-in-law.  She was so…charming that day I met her.”

Tracy stifled a laugh.  Mattie had dismissed her mother out of hand.  She’d not thought she was worth her time and attention, and it showed.  “She’s playing with the other little girls.  She’ll be along before church starts.”

Tracy was surprised to see the older woman slide into the pew beside her.  Mattie usually sat at her side, and wouldn’t be happy for the intrusion.  When Mattie saw Cecelia in her usual spot, she squeezed in between Tracy and Andy.  Tracy obediently slid closer to her mother to give Mattie a little more room, smiling at the girl’s solution.

After the sermon, everyone crowded around to meet Tracy’s “sister.”  When Tracy introduced the other woman as her mother, there were some very surprised faces.  “You don’t look young enough to have a child Tracy’s age!”

Cecelia took the comments in stride.  “Thank you…She does age me a bit, doesn’t she?”  She was obviously thrilled with the comments about how young she looked.  Cecelia was a vain woman.

Tracy didn’t like admitting the woman was her mother, which surprised her.  She’d always dreamed of having a mother for people to meet, but now that she did, she didn’t like it.  She didn’t feel like the older woman had really done anything to deserve being called her mother.

On the way home, Tracy asked, “So what did you think of her?”

Andy made a face.  “She seemed as if she thought we weren’t good enough for her daughter.”  He hated the idea that Tracy might actually be better off with the woman.  She certainly wouldn’t have to work so hard while she was carrying his child.

Tracy nodded.  “I got the same impression.  You are, though.”  She clung to Andy’s arm as he drove.  “I’m where I want to be.”

He smiled.  “Well, I certainly hope so.  Now that you’re pregnant, you’re kind of stuck with me.”  He winked at her, pleased that she was echoing his thoughts.

“Good.  I want to be stuck with you.” 

Once they were inside the house, Mattie put on the apron she and Tracy had made together, and helped Tracy put lunch on the table.  It wasn’t a fancy meal, but Tracy knew that she was a good cook, and she wasn’t ashamed to serve the simple meal to her mother.  After everyone was seated, Andy prayed for them all.

When her mother took her first bite of lunch, Tracy held her breath.  She so badly wanted her mother to approve of her, even after her brave words and their years apart.  “Well, I don’t usually like chicken and dumplings, but this is quite good, Tracy.  Who taught you to cook?”

Tracy shrugged.  “Mrs. Spivey has been running the orphanage for as long as I can remember.  She insists that all the girls know how to cook, clean, and sew.  If they learn nothing else from her, they learn those three things.”

“Was it a good place?” Cecelia asked, seeming upset at having to ask the question. 

Tracy nodded.  “It was.  We weren’t mistreated.  All of us were given plenty of food.  We had warm clothes.  They were usually old and patched, but they were clean.  We learned how to be good people there.  Whether we wanted to learn it or not, we did.”  She sighed.  “For me the biggest problem was people moving in and out.  Most children are either adopted as babies or they are adopted as soon as they’re old enough to be helpful.  I couldn’t be adopted, so I had to stay there and watch friends come and go.  It got to the point where I wouldn’t let myself make friends with the other orphans.  It was too hard to lose them.”  She’d been lonely her entire life until she’d come to Texas.  Of course she didn’t want to leave.

“Why couldn’t you be adopted?” Cecelia asked.

Tracy stared at her mother in disbelief.  “You left a note saying you’d be back soon.  If there had been no note at all, I’d have been adopted out immediately. With the note, they had to wait until I was eighteen to let me go.”  She shrugged.  “I couldn’t go until I turned eighteen, but I couldn’t stay beyond the age of eighteen because of overcrowding.  I had to become a mail order bride so that I could time it just right.”

Cecelia stared at her daughter in shock.  “You were a mail order bride?  That’s how you ended up here?”

Tracy nodded.  “Why did you think I was here?”

“Why won’t you leave then?  These people are nothing to you.”

Tracy shook her head, simply unable to believe that the woman was talking so openly about the people she loved right in front of them.  “They’re everything to me.  They’re the first people in the whole world who ever loved me.  They want me to stay.  I’m family to them.”

Cecelia looked offended by those words.  “I loved you!”

Tracy laughed softly.  “You left me.”

Mattie looked at Cecelia.  “You’re not taking Tracy anywhere.  I’ll cut you if I have to.”

Tracy stared at Mattie in shock.  “You won’t cut anyone.  What a thing to say!”

Mattie looked down at the table, embarrassed by her words.  “You have to stay with us, Tracy.”  Her voice was soft, but Tracy could hear the anguish in it.

Tracy reached over to take Mattie’s hand.  “I’m not going anywhere, sweetie.”  Tracy had never noticed any trace of violence or negativity from Mattie, so she was stunned that the girl would say such a thing.

Cecelia looked at Tracy.  “They do seem to want you around.”

Tracy grinned.  “I’ve never felt wanted by anyone in my entire life before I came here.  My new family is just amazing.”  She smiled at Andy, making sure he knew that she was staying.

Cecelia looked around her.  “You’re living in poverty here, though.  You could have so much more with me.”  She obviously believed it was better to be rich and unloved than to have all the love in the world with no riches.

“I don’t want or need more.  I have people here who love me.  If your whole purpose in being here is just to get me to leave, then you might as well go back to Boston now.”  Tracy ate her last bite and walked to put her dish in the basin.  She removed the cover from the cake she’d made for dessert and carried the cake to the table, along with a stack of plates.  “Are you all ready for dessert?”

She carefully cut the cake and handed out the pieces.  They ate the dessert in silence, her mother obviously offended by her words.  When they were all finished, Tracy got up to clear the table watching as Mattie jumped up to help.  They had become a good team in the past months, and Tracy no longer needed to ask Mattie for anything.  The younger girl just did it with her.

Every other guest they’d had in their home had helped clear the table, and Tracy was annoyed her mother sat where she was and watched as she did it all.  She’d said she was once a maid, but Tracy couldn’t imagine her mother helping anyone with anything.

When she and Mattie were finished, Tracy sat back down at the table.  “So when did you get married?” she asked.

Cecelia smiled.  “Bert and I married five years ago.”  She had a dreamy look on her face that made Tracy think she was missing her husband.  Maybe she had the ability to love after all.

Tracy looked down at her hands, afraid any words she said would be rude.  Why had her mother been married for five years and never come for her?  She’d only left the orphanage six months before, so how could she possibly rationalize that.  “I see.”

Andy had no qualms about asking the question that was burning in Tracy’s brain.  “Why didn’t you go get Tracy then?  She was close to you and you knew exactly where she was.”

Cecelia glared at Andy as if she hadn’t expected that question to be asked and considered it terribly rude.  “My new husband wanted us to take time to get to know one another first.”

Andy blinked a few times.  “Yes, I can see why starting a marriage with a child would be difficult.”  He looked over at Mattie and Arthur, who were sitting together in the corner of the room, talking in low voices and occasionally glancing their way.

“Exactly.  It’s difficult to get used to a marriage even without children.  I’m glad you understand.”

Andy looked at the woman in shock, clearly unable to say anything else.

Tracy lifted her head, her eyes spitting fire.  “I don’t understand.  I came out here knowing there would be three children when I got here.  I never thought about not doing it because it would be harder.  Did you have no maternal feelings at all?”  She knew her words were rude, but she simply couldn’t hold them back any longer.

Cecelia blinked a couple of times at the animosity in Tracy’s voice.  “Of course, I did.  I’ve spent my years wishing I hadn’t had to give you up, but I had no choice.”

Tracy lifted her head, breathing deeply.  “You honestly believe that, don’t you?  You don’t think you had a choice other than to leave me at an orphanage?  What was your childhood like?”

“It was a normal childhood, I guess.  I lived in Virginia with my parents and two brothers.  My parents were good people, but my mother died when I was fifteen, and my father and both brothers died in the war.”  Cecelia didn’t have to say what war.  The Civil War was the only war she could possibly be talking about.

“Virginia?  They fought for the south?” Tracy asked.  It hadn’t occurred to her that her mother could have been from the South.  She didn’t have an accent, but she’d lived in Massachusetts for years.

Cecelia nodded.  “Yes, we were slave holders, so they joined the confederate army.”

“Slave holders?” Tracy asked.  “So you had a lot of money?”

Cecelia shrugged.  “Oh, I wouldn’t say a lot of money, but we were well off, the same way most plantation owners in the South were at that time.”  She had a faraway look on her face.  “The war changed everything for me.”

Tracy nodded.  “How did you meet my father?”

“Oh, Thomas was a Northern soldier.  He was marching through town and they stayed at my family’s plantation.  I was still living there with my grandparents.  I met Thomas when he came through and we married right off.  He looked so dashing in his uniform.”

“I’ll bet it was hard for you to become a maid after I was born.”

Cecelia nodded.  “It was very hard.  Thomas’s family was poor, like yours, and I had to learn to cook and clean.  I don’t think we ate a meal that wasn’t burnt the entire year of our marriage.”  She laughed softly, obviously not ashamed of the memory.  “I still can’t cook to save my life.  Thank God I have servants again.”

“How long were you a maid?” Tracy asked. 

“Oh, I was a maid right up until I met my Bert, but I wasn’t a maid who cleaned.”  She gave a delicate shudder.  “Oh, no, I was a personal maid to a young lady in Boston.  She and I had been friends in Virginia before the war, and she’d made a better choice of husbands than I had.”

Tracy felt sorry for Thomas, wondering if Cecelia had been so blunt with him about his lack of wealth.  “Were you happy with Thomas?”

Cecelia shrugged.  “I was as happy as any woman could be while she’s cooking and cleaning.  I certainly was happy when I found out I was carrying you.”  She smiled at Tracy, leaning over to take her hand.  “I loved being pregnant. I loved the feel of you kicking inside me.”

“You’ve been married for five years now.  You don’t have any other children?”

Cecelia shook her head.  “I haven’t been able to have another for some reason.  Bert wants a child badly.”  Her eyes were drawn to Tracy’s stomach.  “I know you don’t want to come home with us, but we’d happily adopt yours and raise it like you were meant to be raised.”

Tracy covered her stomach with her hands, her eyes filled with horror.  “You’re not taking my baby!  Go to an orphanage and find one.  I assure you, there are plenty of unwanted children in every orphanage in the country.  This child is wanted desperately by his parents.”

Tracy stood, saying nothing else as she left the room and went into her bedroom, closing the door with a snap.  She leaned against the bedroom window and allowed her tears to fall.  Despite her words, her mother’s actions showed she had never wanted her.  She’d never met a person who was so selfish in her life.

She heard raised voices from the kitchen, but she didn’t go out to see what was happening.  She truly didn’t care what was being said.  All of her beliefs about the world were shattered.  Her mother, the woman she’d waited for, was a truly selfish woman. 

She watched as her mother ran from the house and to her borrowed buggy.  She hoped she would never see her again.  Tracy sank onto the bed, lying on her side and holding her belly.  “I promise you, no matter what, I will not be like she was.”

Chapter Seven

There was a quick knock on the door before Andy came into the room.  He sat beside her on the bed, stroking her arm for a moment.  “I don’t even know what to say to you.”

Tracy smiled through her tears.  “Not much to say, is there?”

He shook his head.  “I’ve never met anyone so selfish in my entire life.  I’m so glad she didn’t raise you.”  He couldn’t imagine how his wife would have turned out if she’d been raised by the harridan who had just left their home.

Tracy nodded, sniffling.  “I’m coming to believe that she really did do the best thing for me by leaving me at the orphanage.”  All of her dreams about her mother had been well and truly shattered.  If she never saw the woman again, it would be too soon.

“There’s no doubt in my mind she did the best thing.”  He sighed heavily.  “I told her she wasn’t welcome back here and that the invitation for Thanksgiving has been rescinded.”

Tracy sat up and threw herself into Andy’s arms.  “Thank you!  I don’t know if I could have told my mother I never wanted to see her again, but I don’t.”  Andy was so good at taking care of her and doing what she needed him to do.  If only he would give her the words of love she needed as well.

Andy sighed.  “At least now you don’t have to wonder what she’s like anymore.  You know.”

“Oh, I know.”  Tracy looked at the wall for a moment.  “She looked down on us and everything we have.  Nothing here was ever good enough for her.  We are not…of her class.”  How could a woman who put riches above all else have left her only child to be raised in an orphanage?  It just made no sense.

“I know.  It was obvious.”  He put his forefinger under her chin and lifted it up for a soft kiss.  “I think you made the right decision staying here, by the way.”

Tracy smiled.  “I know I did.”  She rested her cheek against his shoulder.  “Is Mattie all right?  How upset is she?”  She worried the little girl would be off crying.   She needed to go and calm her down.

Andy bit his lip.  “I forgot to tell you that part…”

Tracy raised an eyebrow.  “What part?”  What had happened while she’d been in her room crying?

“Mattie kicked Cecelia and told her she was an evil witch.”

Tracy felt the laughter rolling up inside her.  “She didn’t!”  Oh, how she loved that little girl!

“She said that anyone that doesn’t love you is evil and she doesn’t ever want to have to look at her again.”

Tracy brushed the tears out of her eyes.  “I need to go out there.”  Tracy got to her feet and headed toward the door, obviously in a hurry now.

“She’s fine!  I promise.”

“No, it’s going to take me a while to fix dinner.  We need to have beef stew and fresh bread.”

Andy smiled as he watched her get go.  She was going to fix Mattie’s favorite meal.  His wife was an amazing woman.

*****

The next time Tracy went into town, George shared all the latest gossip.  “That woman that looked like you?  She left.  She came into town on Sunday spitting mad, and demanded I open up my store.  Bought a few things and left.”  He was leaned forward on the counter, the top of his head shining.

Tracy nodded.  “I didn’t think she’d still be around.”  She smiled happy her mother was gone from her life for good.  “How was your Thanksgiving, George?”  She didn’t want to keep talking about her mother.  It made her sad.

“It was good.  My son, Amos, got us a turkey, and we had a good feast.  How ‘bout you?  Good one?”  Tracy was convinced that George had opened a store so he could talk to people all day.  His wife was quiet and shy, and Tracy doubted she had a whole lot to say.

“Arthur got a turkey for us, and Mattie and I made stuffing for it.  It turned out really well.”  She smiled, leaning forward.  “Don’t tell Andy, but it was the first turkey I ever cooked.  I thought it came out really moist.”  She was proud of how well it had turned out.  She’d been almost afraid of trying to cook a turkey.  For some reason, it seemed like it was the hardest thing in the world to cook when you talked to other women about it.

“From what I hear from that family of yours, if you cook it, it comes out better than the way anyone else would ever make it.”  He winked at her with a smile.

Tracy laughed.  “Don’t  listen to them.  They just want me to keep cooking for them.”  She watched as he added up the items she’d chosen, including some white linen for baby clothes.  She knew it was early yet, but she couldn’t wait to start cutting them out and sewing them.

“You starting to sew for the baby already?”  George peered at her stomach.  “When are you due?”

Tracy nodded, her face lit up with excitement.  “In about three and a half or four months.”  She patted her huge belly, happy to think about the time her baby would be there.

“That gives you plenty of time to get the sewing done.  I’d have thought you’d still be rushing to finish Christmas presents, though.”

“I got those finished last week.  It was easy to do all the men’s gifts, but I had to pretend to take a nap every day to get Mattie’s done.”  Tracy grinned as she thought about the gifts she’d carefully handmade for her family.  She knew they’d be excited to see them.

Mattie came up behind her then.  “To get my what done?”

Tracy laughed down into the girl’s smiling face.  “Would you like to know?”  She dropped her voice conspiratorially like she was going to tell the girl a secret, leaning forward to put her lips against her ear.

“Yes, I would.  Please tell me!”  Mattie’s voice was so excited, Tracy almost felt bad.

“I made you…a Christmas present!”

They were still laughing as they walked out to the wagon.  Andy sat on the seat smiling down at them.  “You done?  Ready for me to carry everything out?”  Andy had decided to accompany them to town for a while, worried that her mother would cause trouble.  This was the first time they’d been in since the woman had been out to their house, and they had no way of knowing if she’d left town or stayed to cause problems.  Andy wanted to talk to George for a moment when Tracy wasn’t around anyway.

“Did we have any letters?” he asked.

Tracy made a face.  “I didn’t think to ask, but I’m sure George would have told me if we did.”  She rubbed her belly.  “I’m getting hungry.”

Andy kissed the top of her head.  “I’ll get the wagon loaded then.  We can’t have Junior starving to death.”  He always referred to the baby as ‘Junior’ as if he knew it would be a boy.  Tracy didn’t mind.  Boy or girl, she’d love it just the same.

“With as much as I eat, I don’t think there’s any danger of that.”  Her appetite had been voracious since she’d been pregnant.  The first month or two she’d thrown up constantly, but since, she’d just been hungry.  She had no other real symptoms besides the hunger, though, so she counted herself fortunate.

Andy hurried into the store and stopped in front of the counter at the front.  “Tracy’s mother is really gone?  You’re sure?”

“I watched her get on the train with my own two eyes.”  George patted Andy’s arm in a fatherly way.  “I promise, I’ll send Amos out the second I see her or anyone else looking for Tracy.”

Andy breathed a sigh of relief.  “Good.  I don’t want to have to worry.   I appreciate it.”  He shook the older man’s hand as he carried the first of the packages to his wagon.

*****

Tracy spent the next month planning for Christmas.  She had read about people who had pine trees in their house that they decorated with popcorn, so she had Andy chop down a pine tree and drag it into the house, building a stand for it.  She and Mattie made popcorn and spent hours stringing it carefully.  The five of them together trimmed the tree singing their favorite Christmas carols.  When it was finished, Tracy felt tears pouring down her face.  She loved starting traditions with her new family.

All Tracy’s life she’d dreamed of what it would be like to be part of a family for Christmas, and this year she was going to make the most of her new family. 

Tracy sat down with Mattie at the kitchen table one day, and the two of them spent hours with watercolors from the mercantile painting Christmas scenes on the plain brown paper she’d purchased to wrap gifts in. 

The only thing that bothered her was that there was no snow.  She wasn’t a huge fan of snow, because she hated being cold, but it just didn’t feel like Christmas without the ground covering. She was sure she’d eventually get used to it, but it was going to take a few years. The church was having a big Christmas service on the evening of Christmas Eve, and when Tracy asked if they could go, Andy sighed.  He wouldn’t tell her ‘no’ with as excited as she was about the holiday.  He’d always attended the service as a child, but since his parents had died, he hadn’t had the desire to.

They made the drive into town just as it was getting dark.  Tracy had made a covered dish that Mattie was holding on her lap in the back of the wagon.  They would have the service, and then there would be a potluck and time to fellowship.  Everyone in the church had drawn someone else’s name to buy or make a gift for as well, so everyone would leave with something special.  Tracy had no idea who had her name, but she had her friend Abigail’s, and she was practically bouncing with excitement.

The previous week when she’d gone to town she’d run into her friend and tried to feel her out about what she wanted for Christmas that she didn’t think she’d get.  She didn’t want her to know she had her name, though, so she skirted around the subject.  Just when she’d given up on getting an idea from Abigail, the other woman had complimented her on her hat. Tracy had crocheted it herself imitating one she’d seen in Massachusetts.  Not many people in Texas wore winter hats, but Tracy had liked wearing it when she was in the wagon for a long time in the forty degree weather.

She had gone to the mercantile immediately after seeing Abigail and picked out a beautiful sky blue yarn that would be pretty with her friend’s eyes.  She’d had to work quickly, but it was done and wrapped.  No one was allowed to tell who they had, even to family members, so she didn’t know what the others had done, but she was excited to be part of it all.

Andy helped her down from the wagon before the service, and all of them had rushed to put their gifts on the table where the others were.  Tracy set the scalloped potato dish she’d made on the other table where all the food was before taking her seat.  She was practically bouncing in her seat, enjoying a real Christmas for the first time in her life.

As an orphan, there had always been presents, but they were usually used clothes or other cast-offs from the townspeople.  These were real presents, and she was able to give something special to others for the first time.  She didn’t know why the orphanage hadn’t organized something like this where each of them could make something for one of the others.  She considered writing a letter to Mrs. Spivey to suggest she do it in the future.

The pastor told the Christmas story as some of the children from town acted out the story.  Francis had said he’d been asked to be part of it, but he hadn’t wanted to make the two hour round-trip drive every day for a week of rehearsals.

After the service, they all helped themselves to heaping plates of food and desserts.  Tracy was proud to see that her dish was gone before she even had a chance to get a bit herself.  They moved all the pews and everyone sat at the tables people had carried in.  Tracy sat between Andy and Mattie, so proud to be part of the Harvey family.

After dinner, Tracy hurried to help with the cleanup.  Three different basins full of hot water had been carried in to wash the dishes, and another three were carried in for rinsing.  The work was done quickly and efficiently, with all the women chattering about how excited their children were for Christmas.  Tracy had told Mattie to go ahead and play with the other kids, knowing that there would be more than enough hands to get the job done.

Finally, after the dishes were washed, everyone sat around the tables once again, and a group of girls, all around Mattie’s age were given the task of passing out the presents.  “They do it that way to reinforce the new readers,” Andy whispered to Tracy.  “The kids have to read words they don’t know, and match them up with the people that are here.”

“How long has this been a tradition here?” she asked in a whisper.  With the way he’d balked at going, she thought it was the first year, before he said that.

Andy smiled.  “For as long as I can remember.  Some of my first memories are of Christmas celebrated right here in this church.”

When Tracy’s present appeared before her, she looked at the label.  Everyone was supposed to put who it was to and from on the package, but hers just said, “To: Tracy Harvey.”  She frowned.  Who could it be from?  And why didn’t they want her to know?

She waited until all the presents were set out and Mattie was once again beside her before opening her gift carefully.  Inside was a pretty carved wooden box.  She opened the box and there was a beautiful necklace inside.  She let out a gasp and held it up in front of her.

Andy was grinning at her.  “Do you like it?”

“Oh yes!  I don’t know who it’s from, though.  There was no name written on the tag.”

Francis grinned over at Tracy.  “Oh, it’s from Andy.  He walked around trading names until he finally got yours.  Drove everyone in the whole church crazy.”  He shook his head as he watched his big brother try to hide his embarrassment.

Tracy turned to Andy with surprise.  “You did that for me?”

Andy grinned, taking the necklace from her to fasten it around her neck.  “Do you realize yet that I would do anything for you?”  His thumb rubbed against her neck after he fastened it. 

Tracy turned back to him and rested her forehead against his shoulder.  “I love it.  Thank you.”

She watched as Mattie opened her present.  It was a shawl for cold days.  Tracy smiled.  “Who’s it from?”

Mattie looked at the tag.  “George’s wife.  From the mercantile.”  She draped it around her shoulders happily.  She had the shawl she and Tracy had made, but this one was a bit fancier and would be perfect for wearing on Sundays.

Andy received a pair of gloves for working in the cold.  Francis got a book of poetry, which surprised Tracy.  “Do you like poetry?”  She knew so little about the boys.  Arthur was painfully shy, and she only knew Francis a little bit from their drives into town and back.

Francis shrugged, blushing a little.  “I do like it a lot.” 

Arthur received a green scarf that he proudly wove around his neck. 

Tracy made sure to remind the children to go find whoever had given them their gifts and thank them.  Abigail came up behind Tracy and hugged her tightly.  “When I told you I liked your hat, I had no idea you had my name.”  Abigail was already wearing the hat.  “I adore it!  It’s just like yours but yours is green.”

Tracy grinned.  “I’m partial to green, because it matches my eyes.”  Her eyes found Mattie in the crowd wearing a dress identical to Tracy’s.  The two of them had labored many hours to get them just right.

“I love the matching dresses you and Mattie are wearing,” Abigail said with a grin, following Tracy’s thoughts.  “She needed someone like you to come along.”

“I hope so.  I needed her as well to be honest with you.”  How could Tracy possibly explain what it meant to her to have someone look up to her the way Mattie did?  She’d always felt like she was worth so little, but to this family, she was everything.

“Whatever happened with your mother?” Abigail asked.  “I don’t mean to pry, but she was here one day, and then the next she just left.” 

Tracy shrugged.  “She went back to Boston.  I couldn’t give her what she wanted.”  She didn’t want to talk about it.  She never wanted to talk about what her mother wanted from her again.

“What did she want?”  Abigail’s face showed her confusion.

Tracy shook her head.  “I’m just glad she’s gone.  I think she went back to Boston.”

Abigail asked no more questions sensing that Tracy wasn’t going to say anything more about it.

When they got home that evening Tracy tried to push the questions Abigail had asked from her mind.  How could a woman ask for a child to adopt when she hadn’t even raised her own?

*****

By the middle of March, their part of Texas looked like a paradise.  The trees were in bloom and the grass was a beautiful green.  Tracy had seen her midwife a few days before, and she was due any day.  Tracy hoped it was soon, because moving around was difficult, and she felt like she was as big as a house.  She knew it would all be worth it when she held her baby in her arms, though.

Andy assured her every day that she was beautiful to him, regardless of how swollen with his child she was.  Mattie was taking on a lot more of the chores, working to do the cooking by herself as much as she possibly could.  Tracy had made stacks and stacks of small gowns for the baby to wear, and several little afghans and quilts.

“That baby is going to be the best dressed child this side of the Mississippi.” Andy said with a laugh. 

Tracy blushed in embarrassment, but she didn’t really care what Andy thought.  Her child would be loved and wanted.  She was going to show him that every day in every way she knew how. 

Andy brought the cradle he and his siblings had slept in down from the attic, and Tracy carefully polished it, and made it up for the baby.  Everything was ready for the new arrival.  It was just a waiting game at that point.

Tracy did her best to keep her spirits up despite being unwieldy, but a couple of times it affected her mood a little.  One time she snapped at Mattie, and as soon as the words came out of her mouth, she covered her face with her hand.  “I’m so sorry, Mattie.  I don’t know what came over me.”

Mattie hurried across the room and threw her arms around Tracy.  “I know you’re tired.  Andy said that having a baby inside you makes you grumpy and tired.”  Mattie grinned at Tracy as she said the words.

Tracy let out a low laugh.  “Well, I’m glad Andy warned you that I would be grumpy then.”  She wished someone had bothered to warn her.  She’d thought something was seriously wrong until the midwife assured her that all women became short tempered during pregnancy.

Mattie sat down in the chair beside Tracy.  “What can I do to make things easier for you?”

“You already do so much.  Just keep doing what you’re doing.”  Tracy couldn’t imagine asking the child to do one more thing.  Already she was working from the moment she got up until she went to bed between schoolwork and housework.  Tracy knew she was blessed to have her.

Mattie smiled at the praise.  “I can do more if I need to.  Do you need to take naps every day now?  Can I cook more?”

Tracy hugged the little girl to her.  “You’re already cooking two meals a day.  I can cook the third.”  She patted Mattie’s shoulder.  “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Andy came into the house then to check on her.  He’d made a habit of sending one of his brothers to check on her every morning, and he always came back in the middle of the afternoon.  He was worried that she’d go into labor and have no way to get help.

Tracy looked up at him with a smile.  She’d been kneading bread for their supper, and had flour caking her arms and a small speck of it on her nose.  He walked to her and took a clean cloth from the work table, and wiped her nose.  “How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing fine.  You need to stop coming home to check on me every day.  I hate that I’m interrupting your work that way.”  Tracy had told him over and over that she didn’t want him to constantly check on her, but she understood. 

“You and the baby are so much more important than my work.”

Tracy sighed.  “I’m ready for all this to be over.  I want to hold the baby in my arms.”  She knew she sounded petulant as she said the words, and at that very moment, she didn’t care.

Andy sat in a chair beside her while Mattie put the dough into a bowl to rise.  “I know.  It won’t be much longer.”

“The midwife said any day a week ago.  I want it over with.”  She wasn’t terribly nervous about the delivery, but she was certainly ready for the baby to be there and not to be pregnant any longer.

“I don’t blame you!”  He kissed her gently before getting back to his feet.  “I need to get back to work.  I’ll be home in a couple of hours.”

Tracy smiled up at him as he walked out, sighing heavily.  She felt so strange while she was pregnant.  One minute she wanted Andy to stay with her and never leave, and the next all she wanted to do was scream at people.  She was glad he remembered what it was like when Arthur and Mattie were born, or he’d think she’d lost her mind.

“I want something sweet for supper,” Tracy said.

Mattie’s face lit up.  Tracy had been craving sweets, and the rest of them were benefiting from it.  “I saw some ripe strawberries over by the chicken coop.  Do you want me to pick some?  We could have strawberry short cake.”  Mattie always loved sweets, and Tracy tried to accommodate everyone’s sweet tooth as often as she could, but for the last few months, she was making at least one sweet every day.

Tracy grinned.  “You know what I like! That sounds really good.”  She got up to wash her hands before taking the milk pail from the counter.  “We’ll put them in here.” 

The two of them went to the strawberry patch together, and Tracy smiled.  “I didn’t even know we had strawberries.”

Mattie smiled.  “Mama liked them, and she planted two plants years ago.  They’ve expanded.” 

Tracy looked down at her pail.  There was no way they could get all the ripe berries into it.  “We’ll pick what we can, and maybe after supper, we can all come out and pick more.  Do you want to help me make strawberry jam tomorrow?”

Mattie frowned.  “Are you up to that much work?”

“For strawberries?  I’m up for anything.”

The two girls worked together to pick as many berries as they could make fit into the pail.  When they were finished, Tracy whipped up a cake while Mattie added sugar to the strawberries.  She couldn’t wait for the treat that night.

“Do we have enough cream saved for whipped cream?” Tracy asked as she slid the cake into the oven. 

Mattie nodded.  “I think so.  Let me go check.”  She rushed from the house to the cellar and went down it looking for the cream.  She came back a few minutes later, holding up a half jar of the cream.  “Is that enough?”

Tracy looked at it.  “It should be.  It’ll be enough for us, and the boys can fight over whatever we have left.”  When Tracy had first arrived in Texas, she’d been careful to only take sweets after the others had what they wanted.  At this point in her pregnancy, though, she was more than willing to stab anyone who took her whipped cream with a fork.

They had a simple supper of beans and cornbread, but when she pulled out the cake and the strawberries she could see everyone was excited.  She served them each a piece of the cake, and they all poured the amount of strawberries they wanted over the top.  Mattie brought Tracy the whipped cream, and she carefully took what she wanted before passing it on.  Everyone was good with the amount they took so there was plenty to go around.  No one asked why she got more than they did, because they all understood how she felt about sweets right then.

After eating the treat, Tracy sat back in her chair and patted her swollen belly.  “That’s what Junior needed tonight.”

It was late that night, after everyone was in bed that Tracy’s pains began.  She clutched the side of her stomach and walked around the house a bit until the pain went away.  Within a couple of hours, she woke Andy.  He came awake with a jerk.  “Is it time?”

Tracy nodded, immediately getting up to resume her pacing.  The midwife had told her that walking would help her labor to go faster, so she was more than willing to walk.  She wanted the pain over with so she could hold her sweet baby in her arms.

While Andy was gone, Tracy prepared the bed with the extra cotton she’d purchased and started water boiling.  She wanted everything to be as easy for the midwife as possible.

Six long hours later, Tracy held her baby girl in her arms.  “What should we name her?” Andy asked Tracy, stroking the baby’s face with just one finger.  The midwife was still bustling around them, cleaning things up.

Tracy shook her head.  “I was sure it was going to be a boy.”  They hadn’t discussed a single girl name.

“Me too!”  He wasn’t disappointed, though.  He loved the idea of having a miniature Tracy in his life.

“What would you think of Edith?” she finally asked.  She’d known a girl named Edith in school, and they’d been friends for a short while.

He seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding.  “Edith.  Edith Harvey.  I like it.”  Their eyes met over the baby’s head, and he smiled at her.  “Thank you for giving me a beautiful baby.”

“You’re not disappointed it’s a girl?”

He shook her head.  “Of course not.  She’s perfect.”

Tracy sighed staring down at the baby.  “She is.”

The midwife rushed in then.  “I’m finished here.”  She’d insisted on bringing her own carriage, and Andy understood why then.  He wouldn’t have to leave to drive her home now.

“Thank you for your help,” Tracy said with a smile.

“I’ll be back to check on you and the baby in a few days.” 

Andy stood and walked the older woman to the door.  “We appreciate you coming in the middle of the night this way, Mrs. Borden.”

“All first babies seem to come in the middle of the night.  I expected as much.”  She went to her buggy and drove away.

Andy sighed happily.  How could life get any better?  He had a good woman who cared about him and a beautiful baby.  He couldn’t see anything ever happening to cause frustration.

Chapter Eight

Tracy was nursing the baby a few weeks later while Mattie peeled potatoes for stew.   Tracy was thrilled she’d worked so hard to teach the younger girl the fundamentals of cooking, because it had made her own life so much easier since the baby was born.  She was stunned by the amount of time a new baby took.  She’d seen it all happening at the orphanage, but she had only had to do it for an hour or two at a stretch.  Having a child she was responsible for around the clock was so much different.

Edith was as sweet as could be most of the time, but when she was hungry, she became very demanding.  Tracy stroked her little cheek as it pumped in and out sucking milk.

Tracy jumped at the sound of hoof prints in the yard.  It wasn’t time for the men to be home for several hours.  “Who is that, Mattie?”

Mattie went to the window and peered out.  “It’s George’s son again.  Amos.”

“How odd.”  Tracy shrugged.  “Go see what he needs.”  She pulled the blanket she had the baby covered with up over her breast to conceal what she was doing as best she could.  She didn’t want to expose herself to all of Texas.

Mattie came back into the house and shrugged.  “He said he could only talk to Andy.”

The only other time since they’d been married that George’s son had ridden out there was the day the private detective had come to town.  Tracy sincerely hoped something like that wasn’t happening again.  She was happy with her life, and she didn’t need anyone to come along and mess things up.  Who else would come though?  They’d made it clear to her mother that she was no longer welcome.  Surely she wouldn’t come back.

Less than fifteen minutes later, just after Tracy laid Edith down for her nap, they heard the sounds of horses again.  “It’s busy here today,” Tracy mumbled as she went to the door. Liking guests as much as the next woman, she opened the door to greet whoever was there. She stopped and stared.

Her mother was in a buggy with a wealthy looking gentleman.  The man got down and helped Cecelia down, and the two of them walked toward the house.  Tracy shut her bedroom door where Edith slept, before going back to the door to inquire why they were there.

Cecelia smiled and ran to Tracy as if they hadn’t parted on bad terms.  “Tracy!  I’ve missed you.”  She grabbed Tracy in a bear hug.

Tracy pulled back.  “You don’t even know me.”

Cecelia sighed heavily.  “I want you to meet your step-daddy.  Bert, this is my daughter that I’ve told you so much about.” 

Tracy looked at her mother wondering what she possibly could have said about her.  She barely knew anything about her.  She hadn’t bothered to ask any questions or even to listen when Tracy offered details about her life.

Mattie put the potatoes she’d chopped up into the stew pot before walking over to stand beside Tracy.  “Why are you here?” she asked rudely.

Cecelia sighed.  “You haven’t taught this child any manners yet?”

“She has perfect manners around people who deserve her respect.  What can I do for you?”

Cecelia pouted dramatically.  “I’ve missed my little girl.”

“Yes, you did. You missed her entire childhood.  What do you want?”  Tracy knew her words were blunt and rude, but she couldn’t seem to force herself to be nice to the woman in front of her.  Why was she there?

“I wanted to come see how you were doing.”  Cecelia’s eyes dropped to Tracy’s waist.  “So you had the baby?”

Tracy didn’t want to answer that, but Edith was her mother’s granddaughter.  She may have been a terrible mother, but did that give Tracy the right to keep her granddaughter from her?  “Yes.”

Cecelia’s eyes widened and a smile spread across her face.  “Did you have a boy or girl?”

“A girl.”  She added nothing, not even the baby’s name.  She didn’t know why her mother was there, but she didn’t have a good feeling about it.

“Oh, a girl!  I’d like to see her,” Cecelia insisted.  “Where is she?”  She looked around the room for the baby.

Tracy bit her lip for a moment before walking to her bedroom door and opening it.  “Keep your voices down.  She’s sleeping.”  She didn’t feel like it was the right thing to do to keep her mother from the baby, but she didn’t want her to touch her either.

Cecelia looked at the baby with tears in her eyes, leaning down to pick up her granddaughter.  “She looks just like you did as an infant.”  She clucked to the baby, holding her awkwardly.  It was all Tracy could do not to jump forward and snatch the baby from the older woman’s hands.  “What’s her name?”

“Edith.”  Tracy stepped forward and gently took the baby from her mother’s arms.  If it had been anyone else there with her, she would have talked endlessly about what a good baby she was, but her mother deserved no information at all.

Tracy moved back into the kitchen and sat down in her rocking chair, soothing the baby who’d woken up the moment Cecelia plucked her from her cradle.  She wished with all her heart that Andy was there.  He’d know what to do.

Bert walked over to stand in front of Tracy.  He pulled his wallet from the pocket of his slacks and opened it.  “How much do you want?”

Tracy looked back and forth between the couple trying to figure out what he was talking about.  “What do you mean?”  Why were they offering her money?

“For the baby.  Cecelia said you wouldn’t just let us have her.  So how much?”

Tracy stared at the man in disbelief.  “You think I’m going to sell you my baby?”  Her voice was shrill as she held the baby to her.  “You can’t have my daughter!”

“Why do you even want her?” Cecelia asked.  “Babies are a lot of work.  I’ll have servants to take care of her, but what do you have?”  She seemed to think that the argument would work on Tracy.  Further proof that she didn’t know Tracy at all.

“I have a family who cares about me and a lot of love to give.  No matter how much work she is, I’m not giving her up.”

“They care about you?  Has your husband even told you he loves you?  You were a mail order bride.  Men don’t fall in love with mail order brides.”  Cecelia smirked when she saw the sad look that crossed over Tracy’s face.

“This is my baby, and you can’t have her,” Tracy said adamantly.  She didn’t care if she would have to live under a bridge and live off berries she picked.  She wasn’t’ giving up her baby.

“Holding out for as much as you can get?  I don’t blame you.”  Bert flipped through the bills there and took a wad out, offering them to Tracy.  “There.  Five hundred ought to do it.”

She shook her head, still not believing anyone would try to buy a baby.

“Not enough?”  He counted out a little more.  “Seven-fifty then?  It’s a ridiculous sum, but I like the idea of the baby being related to my wife.”  Bert made it very clear he was willing to go as high as necessary to buy his wife’s granddaughter.

The door crashed open and Tracy looked up.  She’d never been so thankful to see Andy in all her life.  He’d taken the time to stop off at the barn and grab his rifle, which he had cocked at his shoulder.  “Get out of my house.”

Bert turned and looked at Andy.  “Cecelia told me Tracy had married a crude outdoorsman.”  He shook his head as if the other man were beneath him. “Look, I’m offering a good sum of money for that baby.  Tracy said ‘no’ to five hundred, so how about seven fifty?”

Andy stared at him in shock.  “You’re offering to pay me seven-hundred and fifty dollars for my baby?  You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Bert sighed.  “Not enough?  I only have a thousand with me, but I can always go to a bank and get more.  We need a baby.”

Andy shook his head.  “I don’t care if you need a baby, you’re not getting mine!  Go to an orphanage.  There’s one in almost every town.  Take your pick of the children there.  You’re not getting my baby.  Now get out!”

Bert took a step toward Andy.  “Now, don’t be too hasty.  My wife has her heart set on raising her grandbaby, and I can see why.  She’s a little beauty.  I can get as much as you want.  There’s no need to get hostile.”

Andy took a deep breath, trying to control his temper.  “You cannot have my child for any sum of money on earth.  She is mine.  Her mother is mine.  Get out of my house!”  He advanced on the older man gun raised, and prodded him toward the door with the barrel of his rifle.  “Don’t come back!”  He slammed the door behind the two of them and stood with his rifle at the ready watching out the window until he saw them drive off.

He rushed over to Tracy, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet and into his arms with the baby between them.  Holding his rifle barrel down, he clutched her to him.  “They didn’t hurt you?  Or the baby?”

Tracy shook her head, still in utter shock over what had just happened.  “They traveled all this way to buy my baby.”  She was embarrassed to admit she was related to the woman.

Andy sighed stroking her back.  He realized he was crushing Edith when she started squalling, and took a step back.  “I’m sorry.”  He set down his rifle and took the baby from Tracy, needing to feel her wiggling in his arms.  “I wish we could give you a better grandmother.”

Tracy sat down and only then began to cry.  How could anyone think it was all right to purchase a child?

Mattie ran to Tracy and threw her arms around her.  “I’m so glad that crazy lady left you at the orphanage.”

Tracy chuckled a bit through the tears.  Trust Mattie to say just the right thing to make her feel better.  “I think she may have done me a huge favor.”  Andy sat down still cradling the baby in his arms, and Tracy looked at him around the girl in her lap.  “How did you know?”

“Know what?” he asked.

“That they were here?  You came in from the range and immediately knew that I needed you.  You never come in at this time of day.”

He sighed.  “The best thing about small towns is everyone looks out for each other.  George noticed your mother get off a train with a man, so he went and pulled his kid out of school to ride out here and warn me that they were in town.  He had a head start, so I had some time to ride toward the house before he told me.”  He kissed he baby’s forehead.  “You need to bake those two a huge cake or something.”

Tracy nodded.  “I’ll do that.” 

Mattie pulled away and looked at Tracy with a smile.  “I’ll help.”

Andy had settled the baby down and gotten her back to sleep.  Tracy watched as he took her into the bedroom and laid her in her cradle.  “She didn’t need to eat did she?”  It had just occurred to him that maybe the baby wasn’t supposed to be sleeping just then.

Tracy shook her head.  “Cecelia woke her when she picked her up.”

Andy shuddered.  “I hate that she even touched the baby.”

Tracy stood and walked back into his arms.  “Thank you for riding so hard to get rid of them.”  She sighed.  “You don’t think she’ll try anything else, do you?”

“No, I don’t.  I’ll send Francis for the sheriff when he gets home, though.  I want him to have fair warning in advance there may be trouble.”  He shook his head.  “Why were they so fixated on Edith?  There are plenty of unwanted children all over.  They could go to the orphanage in Beckham and get one if they wanted one so badly.” 

“They wanted Edith because she’s related to my mother.”  Tracy looked into his eyes.  “I really can’t see why that matters.  I think you’re either a person who will accept any child that comes your way, or you’re a person who will reject them all.”

“That’s probably true.  I’m glad I married a woman who is willing to raise more than her share of children.”

Tracy looked at Mattie who was quietly peeling carrots for the stew.  “I couldn’t imagine being any other way.” 

*****

Their evening was busy as they explained exactly what had happened to the sheriff and he took notes on the situation.  “I’ll need descriptions of the couple.”

Tracy smiled.  “The woman looks identical to me, but she’s seventeen years older.  The man?  He had dark hair and brown eyes.  He looked as if he never dressed in anything but a business suit.”

“Should make them easy to spot around here.”  The sheriff finished taking notes.  “I’ll run into town and see if anyone’s seen them.  Have a talk with them if they’re still around.”

Andy stepped forward and shook the other man’s hand.  “Thank you, Sheriff.”

The sheriff looked down at Tracy.  “Don’t open the door to them again.  I hope I can just run them off, and I’ll make sure we add extra patrols through here, but just in case, don’t open the door.”

Tracy nodded.  “I won’t.  Thank you.”

Over supper, Tracy was quiet.  She’d just lived through a nightmare, and she wasn’t sure how to handle it.  After the dishes were done that evening, she stepped into her room to be alone, needing time away from the others with just her baby.  As she sat on her bed and nursed, she shook her head, still having a hard time believing anyone could think they could just buy a child.

She stroked Edith’s cheek, and the baby looked up at her, her wide blue eyes staring.  “I’ll never leave you with anyone.  You know that?  I love you, Edith.  I’m your mama, and that makes you my responsibility.  I would never let anyone take you home with them.” 

Andy found them sitting together a few minutes later.  The baby was sleeping in Tracy’s arms and she held her staring down into the little face she loved so much.

Andy took the baby from Tracy’s arms and gently placed her into her cradle.   “Are you doing any better?” he asked.  He sat down on the bed beside her and gently stroked her arm.

Tracy shrugged, the words her mother had taunted her with coming to mind.  “I think so.”

“What is it?  Is something else bothering you?”

Tracy bit her lip, wondering what to say.  How did she tell her husband that she needed him to love her, so he’d better start?  “Cecelia just said some ugly things.”

Andy’s face grew angry all over again.  He put his back to the headboard and slid an arm around her shoulders.  “She did?  Like what?”  He kissed the top of her head where it rested against his shoulder.

“She said that because I was a mail order bride, you would never be able to love me.”  There, she’d said it.  She didn’t really want to hear his response, because she was certain he’d reject her, but at least she’d know. 

Andy laughed.  “Well that’s silly.  I hope you told her that I loved you almost from the first moment I saw you.”

“I couldn’t lie to her.”  She shrugged, a tear slipping out of her eye.

Andy looked at her in surprise.  “Lie?  You think telling her that I love you would be a lie?”  He used his thumb to brush the tear from her face.  “I’ve been in love with you for so long it feels like it’s always been the case.  You make me happy to get up in the mornings, and even happier to come to bed at night.  I was failing miserably at raising my brothers and sister, and you came along and made it look so easy.”

Tracy blinked a few times, the tears falling down her cheeks.  “You really love me?”

Andy nodded, his lips gently brushing against hers.  “How could anyone not love you?  You’re an amazing woman.”

Tracy took a shuddering breath.  “I’ve waited my whole life for someone, anyone to say those words to me.  Oh, Mattie says them, but she’s eight.  What kid doesn’t love the person who takes care of them when they’re eight?”

“Well, I love you.  I love you so much that the idea of you going away makes me feel like I’m dying inside.”

“Why would I go away?”  Tracy shook her head in disbelief.

“You were offered a life of luxury for you and our baby.  How could you stay here and not jump on that chance?  Who would stay in an old house that looks like it’s about to fall over when they could live in a mansion in Boston?”

“You were really worried I’d leave you?  For them?”  Tracy shook her head.  “I love you, Andy.  I love you and the children.  I don’t even want to think about what my life was before you.”  She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.  “Francis did a good thing for us, sending that letter.”  She laughed.  “I wanted to throttle him for the first couple of days I was here, though.”

He laughed.  “It took me about twenty-four hours to realize that I could never let you go.  You kept talking about how you were only staying for a month and then you were going to go back to Massachusetts.  You had it all planned out.”  He shook his head.  “I was so scared I’d come home one day, and you’d be gone.”

“I would have taken Mattie with me.”

“After ten minutes with you, she’d have followed you anywhere.  It’s so strange to me that you could have gone through your life without people smothering you with love.  I have never in my life met a woman who I thought was good enough to raise my siblings.”  He sighed.  “I didn’t want to fall in love with you, you know.”

“You didn’t?  Why not?”

“My father loved my mother with everything inside him.  Seriously, he all but worshiped at her feet.  If there was twenty dollars to feed the whole family for a year, he’d spend half of it on a special gift for her, and make us deal with the rest of it.”  He shook his head.  “I promised myself long before they died that I would never love a woman the way he loved her.”

“But you wouldn’t do that.  You don’t put me before the children.”

He laughed softly.  “Of course I do.  I love Edith more than I can ever say, but when I rode toward the house, I was worried about you, not the baby.”  He stroked her cheek.  “I love you, but I was afraid to say it.  Afraid it would give you too much power over me, but you know what?”

She shook her head.  “What?”

“You won’t do anything to abuse the power over me.  Ever.”

“Why would I do that?  I want us all to be happy.  I couldn’t be happy controlling you that way.”  She kissed him softly.  “I love you way too much for that.”

“So you’re never going to decide your mother’s offer is something you want to accept?  You won’t take Mattie and Edith and run off to Boston?”

She shook her head.  “I would never do that.  I feel loved here.  I can’t go to Boston.  No one there feels about me the way you do.”

He smiled, his eyes dancing happily.  “I guess I’m glad your mother and her husband came by today acting as they did.”

“You are?  Why?”

“Because it forced me to tell you how much I love you, and I like the smile love puts on your beautiful face.”

Tracy sighed contentedly.  “I need to go and tuck Mattie in.”

“Before you came, no one ever tucked Mattie in.  You spoil her.”

Tracy got out of bed.  “Everyone needs to be spoiled sometimes.” 

Epilogue

Francis stood looking out over his ten acres of land.  They were all his now.  He’d been working to save enough money to buy them for ten years.  Andy had promised him he’d give him a bull and six cows from his own herd to get the ranch started, but first?  He had to build a house on it.  It was only a mile from his brother’s house, and he would be able to visit often, which was one of the reasons he’d been drawn to the land.

He looked at the ground where he’d marked out where he wanted his house to go.  Tracy had helped him come up with a good plan for it, telling him what she thought should be in a modern kitchen.  In 1896, different things were expected than in 1886 when she’d first come to Texas.

He looked behind him at the children running and playing.  Arthur had since moved to town and was working for George, delivering ice of all things.  Who wanted ice delivered?  Mattie sat with her legs curled under her on a blanket with Tracy.  Sweet little Mattie was seventeen now, and she had her eye on a boy from town. 

Edith was nine, Joseph was seven, Samuel was five, and Jacob was three.  Tracy was once again huge with her pregnancy, but she and Mattie had declared that Francis finally buying the land he wanted was cause for celebration.  He was sure that Tracy was just glad that he was going to be moving out of her house.  She needed the space for her rapidly expanding brood.

He looked around him and sighed.  Once his house was built almost all of his dreams would come true.  The only thing left was to find a wife.  A beautiful wife from the East. 

He was going to follow in his brother’s footsteps and send off for a mail order bride.  Yes, he knew that he was the one who’d actually sent off for the bride, but that didn’t matter.  Everyone had conveniently forgotten that little fact.  He could send off for a wife for himself more easily anyway.

He walked back to the quilt where Tracy and Andy sat with Mattie, eating the last of the food in the picnic basket.  He eyed the last tiny pie the two women had made together.  “Umm…Tracy?  Are you going to need that pie?  I haven’t gotten one yet.”  He knew none of the others would fight him over it, but Tracy was about to pop, and they all knew what that meant.  If they valued their lives, they stayed away from the sweets.

Tracy looked at the pie in the picnic basket and then at Francis.  She really wanted it.  “Well, I…it’s your picnic, so I’ll share it with you.”  She didn’t mention that she’d already had three of the tiny pies, and neither did anyone else.  They just smiled at her when she cut it in half and offered Francis the bigger piece.

Francis sank down onto the quilt and smiled, leaning back on his arms.  “This is the life.  Sitting on my own ranch, in the spring, having a piece of pie.”

Tracy laughed.  “It’s time for you to start thinking about marrying, don’t you think?  You’re twenty-six now.”  She expected him to react the way he always did, telling her he wasn’t ready yet.

Francis nodded, surprising them all.  “As soon as the house is built, I’m going to see if I can find myself a mail order bride.”

Tracy exchanged looks of surprise with Andy.  “A mail order bride?”

“You still write that woman who matched you with Andy, right?  What was her name?  Elizabeth Miller, wasn’t it?”

Tracy nodded slowly, not sure where this had come from.  “She’s married now, but she still has her business.  I’ll give you her address when you’re ready.”

“Great.”  He took another bite of his pie, acting as if he didn’t realize his announcement of his intention to marry hadn’t shocked them all. 

Mattie looked at Francis.  “You sure you’re ready to marry?  I mean, being tied down to just one woman…”

“Are you suggesting I ask Elizabeth for two wives?”

Mattie giggled.  “Nothing like that.  I just thought you were a lone wolf.  You always said you wouldn’t marry ‘til you were good and ready.”

“That’s true.  I’m good and ready.”  He stood up and stretched.  “This is a fine piece of land.  Perfect for my cattle.”

Andy grinned.  “What cattle?  You don’t have any!”

“I will as soon as you give me the ones you promised me.  Yes, sir, it’s going to be a mighty fine life.”

*****

Two months later, Francis sat down at the table in his new house and put pen to paper.  “Dear Elizabeth, Ten years ago, you matched my brother up with his bride.   I want you to do the same for me.  I just built my first house on land that I purchased.  I’m a rancher, although not a rich one…yet.  I’d like to marry a woman between the ages of eighteen and twenty-two. I have blond hair and blue eyes, but I don’t care what she looks like.  If you could find me an orphan, I’d appreciate that.  My brother married Tracy Beckham, an orphan from right there in Beckham where you are.  If you could find me a wife just like Tracy, I’d be much obliged.  She needs to be able to cook, clean, and love.  The ability to love is probably the most important thing to me.  Thank you in advance for your help.  I live in Nowhere, Texas.   Sincerely, Francis Harvey.”

He set the letter aside to mail the next time he went to Nowhere.  George’s son had taken over for him around the same time Arthur had started doing the ice deliveries there.  Arthur, if he saw the letter, would laugh hysterically at the idea of Francis sending off for his own bride.  Arthur had always been a little strange, though. 

Francis ate a bite of the huge pie Tracy had sent over.  He just dug the fork right into the center and started eating.  There was no need to use a plate when he’d just have to wash it.  Getting into this habit would save his wife a lot of time.  He smiled as he thought about his future wife.  Yes, someone like Tracy was all he wanted.  Life would be good when she was by his side.