Mail Order Mistake

Book Five in the Brides of Beckham

By Kirsten Osbourne

Copyright 2013 Kirsten Osbourne

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Malinda thinks her life is over after the death of her father and her subsequent eviction from the only home she’s ever known.  She, along with her sister, answers an advertisement for mail order brides and their lives change.  She agrees to marry a banker in a small town in Colorado, because she refuses to be afraid of where her next meal will come from ever again.  When she arrives in Colorado, she immediately falls for the handsome gentleman who picks her up at the train station, but he’s her sister’s fiancé, not hers!

Chapter One

May 1885

Gammonsville, Colorado

Patrick took a sip of his water, eyeing his brother Wesley over the top.  “I’m sure you’re wondering why I invited you for dinner.”  They were eating dinner in Patrick’s home just a five minute walk from the bank where he worked. 

Patrick and Wesley were brothers.  Patrick was older by three years, and the two men looked a great deal alike.  They were both tall with dark hair and brown eyes, but Patrick, who owned the only bank in the small town of Gammonsville, Colorado was slimmer while Wesley was more muscular.

Wesley nodded.  “Usually I just show up.  I didn’t think you even knew how to ask me to come over.”  He leaned back in his chair with a grin.  Wesley was as happy-go-lucky as Patrick was serious.  In personality they were polar opposites, but for all the things that mattered, they were alike.

“Yeah, you come over to charm my housekeeper.”  Patrick tried to scowl at his brother, but really he was amused by the way Wesley sought to charm the housekeeper into inviting him for dinner practically every night.

Wesley shrugged the devil-may-care grin on his face lighting up the room.  “I only do what I do best.”

Patrick sighed and got straight to the point.  “I’m ready to marry.”

Wesley grinned.  “Where’d you find a woman?”  The only available women in town were either too young, too old or too mean.  There was only one who was too mean, but neither man was willing to even look at her let alone marry her.

“I haven’t.”  He picked up a small piece of paper from beside his plate and handed it to Wesley.  It had obviously been cut out of a newspaper.  Patrick watched his brother’s face carefully as he took the paper and looked down at it.

Wesley read it aloud.  “Are you lonely?  Do you need a bride?  Brides from the East are eager to travel West to marry you.  If interested, send a letter about yourself to Mrs. Harriett Long in Beckham Massachusetts.  Small fee applies.”  His eyes met Patrick’s.  “Seriously?  You want a mail order bride?” 

Patrick shrugged.  “There are no women in the area that are of marriageable age.  I’m ready to start a family.”  And frankly, he didn’t want to have to take the time off work to court a woman.  This would be easier.

Wesley studied his brother carefully.  “Sounds like a good idea.”  He handed the advertisement back to Patrick.  “I wish I could join you.”

Patrick raised an eyebrow.  “Why can’t you?”  Patrick waited for Wesley to tell him the same reason he always gave him for not being able to do things.  He’d been frustrated forever by his brother’s stance on money.

“Lack of money.”

“Would you do it if you had the money?” 

“How much are we talking?”

“I’ve written to the woman.  She said her fee is only ten dollars per bride, but then you have to pay for their travel expenses, and a small stipend is usually sent to help the bride with new clothes and anything else she may need before she leaves to come out here.”

Wesley shook his head.  “I couldn’t even afford the train ticket.”

“I’m offering to do it for you.  I wish you’d just let me give you your share of the money from the gold mine.”  Patrick knew his brother was the most hard-headed human being on the planet, but he still wished he could convince him. 

“It’s not my share.  You paid me for my time in digging.  Why would you give me half the money from it?”

“I agreed to pay you for your time before we realized you had no gold at all in your mine.”  Patrick’s eyes were sad as they had the same argument they’d had many times before.  “Why are you so stubborn about this?”

“Why are you so generous?  I don’t want your money, big brother.”

“Fine.  May I pay your bride’s expenses?”  He desperately wanted his brother to have a wife at the same time he did.  He loved his brother, but it would be nice to be able to eat alone with his wife at least once during their first year of marriage.

Wesley thought it over for a moment.  “I do want to marry, but I hate the idea of you footing my bill for it.  How about you pay, and I’ll pay you back, even if it’s only a dollar a month for the rest of my life.”

Patrick shook his head.  “Fine.  But if you have to miss a payment, I’m not going to hold it against you.”

“How do you make your living again?”

“I’m the world’s softest banker.  What can I say?  Sob stories break my heart.”  Patrick knew he was terrible with evicting families.  He did everything he could possibly do to give people another chance, and sometimes just let them live on their property with no payments.  If he hadn’t had so much of his own money, his bank would have gone under in three months flat.

Wesley laughed.  “That’s why you’ve never called on me to evict anyone.  I know of at least three families who should have been kicked out of their homes more than once.”

“Probably.”  He ate a forkful of baked potato coated with butter.  “Let’s write the letters after supper.  By the end of the summer, we can be married.  Who knows?  In a year, we may each have babies to bounce on our knees.”

*****

June 1885

Beckham, Massachusetts

Malinda stared down at the freshly covered grave, tears streaming down her face.  “How are we ever going to go on without him?”  Some of her black hair had come out of her bun from the high winds, and her brown eyes were red from the crying she’d been doing for the past two days.  “He was the most wonderful man in the world.”  If not the most wonderful man in the entire world, he was the most wonderful man in her world. 

Ellen sighed and nodded, reaching out to hold her sister’s hand.  “He was.”

“You didn’t know him like I did.  You were always so much closer to mother.”  Her voice caught on a sob.  “I followed him around like a lost puppy for years until he made me stay inside and help you after mother died.”  She glanced at her sister, who was also crying.  “I’m still terrible at housework.”

Ellen let out a feeble laugh.  “You’re getting better.” 

Malinda shook her head.  “I know I’m not.  You have to tell me how to do everything.”  She blew her nose loudly into her handkerchief, thankful the small group of mourners from their church had already left and she didn’t have to be delicate about it.  “I can hoe a row of corn faster than you, though.  And milk a cow?  I can milk four cows in the time it takes you to do one.”  She knew it wasn’t something to brag about, but with as good as Ellen was at everything in the house, she had to be better at something.

Ellen slipped her arm around her younger sister’s shoulders.  “You sure can.  You’re also a much better seamstress than I am.”

“I am not,” Malinda said in shock.  “What makes you say that?”  She wasn’t better at anything that had to do with “women’s work” than her sister.  Ellen just seemed to do all the things Malinda struggled with naturally.

Ellen steered her sister toward the waiting wagon.  “You just are.  I’m a decent seamstress, but I’m better in the kitchen.”  Ellen didn’t seem upset or jealous, just matter of fact.  Malinda found herself wishing for what seemed like the millionth time that she could be more like Ellen. 

They walked slowly to the wagon and Ellen drove them home.  It was a beautiful summer day, and they both wished they were out in it under better circumstances.  “We need to figure out what Father did with the money,” Malinda said.  She’d been thinking about it, and she knew their father wouldn’t leave them with nothing.  He couldn’t.  He was too good a man for that.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, Father knew we only had a little bit of food left, so there must be some money somewhere.  Otherwise we wouldn’t have made it through the month.”  She shrugged.  “So there must be money.  You’ll help me look, right?”

Ellen nodded hesitantly.  “We’ll look.”  She obviously thought Malinda was grasping at straws, but she didn’t argue with her about it.

Malinda sighed.  “I almost feel guilty for worrying about food and money right after we bury him, but we need to eat.”  She put her hand over her flat stomach.  Just the thought of not having food was making her hungry, and she’d had a big breakfast just hours before.

“You’re right.  We do.  We have to go on without him, but we’ll both miss him for the rest of our lives.”

“I can’t believe he’s really gone.”  Every time she realized she would never see him again, she wanted to cry.  How could she spend the rest of her life without him to help her make the right decisions?

“I can’t either.  He was our rock after Mother died.  How are we going to get through this without his shoulder to cry on?”

Malinda took Ellen’s hand in hers.  “At least we have each other.”  She rested her head on Ellen’s shoulder as they drove.  She couldn’t spend the rest of her life without her sister as well.  No matter what happened, they had to stay together.

*****

For the next two weeks the sisters tore the house apart, leaving no stone unturned as they looked for the money they were certain their father must have hidden somewhere.  They cut open his mattress, checked inside his work boots, and even dug up holes in various places around the farm.  “Where could it be?” Malinda asked near the end of the second week.

“I’m beginning to think there isn’t any money.”  Ellen shook her head tiredly.

“But there has to be!  What would we have eaten if he’d been alive?”  Maybe he’d planned on hunting.  Or sending them into the woods for berries, which they’d done from time to time.  Maybe Ellen was right and there really was no money.

Ellen simply shrugged and kept looking, but they found nothing. 

Finally Ellen told Malinda it was time to stop looking.  “There’s just nothing here.  We’re going to have to find a way to eat until the dairy pays us on the first.”  She sat back on the floor with her back to the wall, exhausted.

Malinda shook her head.  “There has to be!  Father wouldn’t leave us destitute.”

Ellen looked at her sister and shook her head.  “Father didn’t mean to die.  He didn’t know he was leaving us.”  He’d had a heart attack while weeding the corn fields, and they’d found him when he didn’t come home for supper.  Ellen placed a hand on Malinda’s shoulder comfortingly.  “I’m so sorry.”

Malinda felt a moment of sheer panic.  What were they going to do with no money and no one to make any for them?  They’d have to find a job, but what could they do?  She’d make a good farm assistant, but there was nothing else she felt qualified for.

“Let’s go make dinner.  We have one more pot of beans left.”  Ellen stood and went down to the kitchen, not waiting for Malinda to follow her. 

Malinda stared around their father’s sparse room for another minute or two before standing to go down to help.  Ellen was right. They had searched everywhere there was to search.  What else was left?

She walked to the kitchen and saw Ellen boiling the beans.  “Are we going to have cornbread with them?”

Ellen shook her head.  “We have only a little bit of cornmeal left.  I thought we could have beans now and cornbread for supper.”

Malinda nodded sadly.  She hated beans, but she could tolerate them if she had cornbread with them.  She knew her sister was right, though.  She’d seen Ellen making sure she took smaller portions so Malinda could eat more.  She’d started to protest, but her dresses were already hanging off her.  Arguing would be futile anyway.

“After supper, I’m going to take Father’s rifle and see if I can get some meat.  We have to have something more.”  Malinda looked at Ellen.  “Maybe you could come and see if you can find some berries.  Between us, we should be able to get enough food for another meal or two.”

Ellen looked at Malinda skeptically.  “You’ve never shot the gun.  I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Malinda sighed.  “It’s better than starving to death.”

It was while they were doing the lunch dishes and talking about how they would survive that a banker came to the house.  Malinda couldn’t force herself to speak as she watched Ellen argue with the man.  Father had hated bankers, so at first, Malinda couldn’t force herself to believe the man’s words, but Father’s signature had been there clear as day on the bottom of the contract.  They had nothing.  Three days to get out and they could take their clothes.  Nothing else.

The sisters quickly made a plan to go to town and find jobs.  They hoped they could stay together because in all of her nineteen years, Malinda had been with her sister every day.

Malinda stared at the buggies going by on the street as Ellen quickly scanned through the newspaper’s help wanted section.  Surely there would be some job they could do where they could be close together.  Maybe Ellen could cook for a family while she took care of their garden?  That made no sense.  Besides, she’d come to hate being outside because it reminded her too much of their father.

“Anything?” Malinda asked when Ellen looked up from the paper.

Ellen read aloud an advertisement for mail order brides.  What was she thinking?  How could they possibly be together if they both married and moved off to God knows where? 

She agreed, because there seemed to be no alternative, and they made the walk to Rock Creek Road where the advertisement had said to speak with Mrs. Harriett Long.  Malinda was in shock when she saw the obviously wealthy home.  She’d never seen a home that beautiful, let alone had business there.

She let Ellen do the talking again.  She was introduced to a tall dark man, she assumed was the butler who led them in to see Mrs. Long.  Harriett was a big surprise for Malinda.  She was a beautiful young woman.  She couldn’t have been more than thirty.  Her hair was pulled back in the latest fashion, and her dress must have been silk.  When she stood, she did so favoring one leg. 

Ellen looked at the two letters Harriett handed her and handed one off to Malinda.  Malinda read it carefully.  “Dear potential bride, My name is Patrick Harris, and I’m a banker in the town of Gammonsville, Colorado.  I moved here with my brother and was able to strike it rich in the gold mines.  I’m looking for a woman between the ages of eighteen and twenty-four who wouldn’t mind hosting occasional parties for other bankers.  She must be of good moral character, and as I would like a child or two, I’d like her to be in good health.  Looks are not terribly important to me.  I myself am tall with dark hair and dark eyes.  I work a lot of hours, so you must be able to entertain yourself.  I hope to hear from you soon.  Yours, Patrick.”

Malinda stared at the words.  She could handle hosting a party and had no trouble keeping herself occupied.  She loved the idea of being married to a banker, not because she wanted to be wealthy, but because she couldn’t stand the idea of being poor.  She was terrified of finding herself in the type of situation she was in now ten years down the road when she had young children to worry about. 

She re-read the letter one more time, making certain she’d missed nothing.  He said nothing about looking for a good woman to love or caring anything about who the woman was.  Just that she have good morals, be able to bear children and willing to host parties.  He sounded easy to please. 

She only half listened as Harriett and Ellen made arrangements for the two of them to stay at Harriett’s as they waited for their responses from the brothers.  When Harriett handed her a pen, ink and paper to respond, she got to work immediately.

“Dear Patrick, I’m nineteen years old, and have good strong morals.  I go to church every week and try to live the way the Bible teaches.  I know you said you don’t care what a woman looks like, but just so you know, I have dark hair and brown eyes.  I enjoy reading a great deal.  I’ve recently lost my father and am still mourning his death.  He was a man every father should aspire to be like.  I will never stop missing him.  I have no problem entertaining myself and I’m in good health.  My sister Ellen is responding to your brother’s letter.  I hope we’ll be able to stay together, because she’s the only family I have left, and I can’t imagine what life would be like without her in it.  I would be happy to occasionally host dinner parties for your fellow bankers.  I’ve never done anything like that, but I’m certain I could learn.  I hope to hear from you soon.  Yours, Malinda.”

She read back over her words carefully, making sure she’d spelled everything correctly and had used good penmanship.  She didn’t want to make a bad first impression on him.  Finally she handed the letter to Harriett, who read it over quickly and folded it. 

They made arrangements to come back the following morning, and the two sisters started the short walk home.  They’d have to carry everything they owned through the streets of Beckham the following day.  The only thing they had to pack their clothes into was a large trunk.  She shuddered as she thought of the sight they would make, each of them hefting the edge of a large trunk as they walked through town.  Maybe they could drive the wagon into town and then leave it at the bank.  It was the only way she could think to keep from having to carry it down the street.

“It’s going to be strange not living on the farm.”  Malinda couldn’t stand the thought of having to go somewhere else.  The farm was the only home either of them had ever known.

“I know, but it’ll be fine.  We’ll get used to it.”  She sighed.  “Do you like the idea of marrying the banker?”

Malinda shrugged.  “Honestly, I don’t like the idea of marrying at all, but if I do have to marry, I’d rather it was someone with enough money that I wouldn’t have to worry about where my next meal would come from.”  She patted her stomach.  “Speaking of which, we’re having cornbread for supper?”

Ellen nodded.  “I know it’s not much by itself, but we do have a little bit of honey left that I’ve been saving for when we ran out of beans.  I knew it would make the cornbread better.”

Malinda smiled.  “And we have that fresh butter I churned yesterday.  It’ll feel like a feast.”

“Hopefully we can save a piece or two for breakfast in the morning.”

Malinda nodded.  She knew her sister was right, although she was ready to gobble up any food she saw.  She told herself she would never go hungry again.  No matter what it took, she would find a way to feed herself and any children she may have.

During dinner, Malinda looked at Ellen with her eyes twinkling.  “You know what I think we should do?  Leave the dishes without washing them.  Then the banker would have all of Mother’s dishes, but he’d have to wash them!”  She was only half joking as she asked.  If Ellen agreed, she knew she’d jump at the chance to do it.

Ellen shook her head.  “The banker didn’t force Father to sign the papers.  We’ll leave the house as tidy as we’d want to find it.”

Malinda sighed.  Sometimes Ellen was so good that she felt like she paled in comparison.  She so badly wanted to do something mean for the banker, but Ellen would frown at everything.  Maybe she could hide a couple of eggs under her bed, and they’d start to smell before the banker got around to doing anything with her room.  She smiled at the thought, but immediately rejected it.  Ellen was right.  It wasn’t the banker’s fault they had no money.

*****

They drove the wagon to town the following morning and Ellen and Malinda carried the huge chest into Harriett’s home, but were stopped when they said they’d take it upstairs themselves. 

“I’ll see to it.  Mrs. Long is waiting for you.”  Higgins took them back to the office where Harriett was waiting for them.  Although Higgins was very polite and formal, Malinda had the feeling he didn’t approve of her and Ellen being there.

Harriett slowly got to her feet and smiled.  “I’m so glad you’re here.  I have several things I need to get done today, and I was hoping you’d be willing to get straight to work.”

Ellen bit her lip.  “I need to take our wagon to the bank, and let the banker know it’s there.  We couldn’t bring our trunk without it.”

“Oh, that’s fine.  Will you stop at the post office and get my mail while you’re out?  That would help me tremendously.”

Ellen nodded with a smile.  “I’ll even be able to run the errand faster with the wagon.  Good.  I was worried.”

“I’m not an evil task-master.  I’m simply thrilled to have company and help for a while.  Honestly, I’m as excited about the companionship as I am about the work.”

“We’re very grateful for your hospitality and will do our best to make sure that we don’t take advantage.”  She looked at Malinda.  “You’ll stay here and help Mrs. Long with whatever she needs?”

Malinda nodded, annoyed that Ellen felt she needed to tell her to work.  She wasn’t a child and had done her share around the house for years.  “I’d be happy to.”

Harriett smiled at the by-play between the sisters.  “Please, both of you call me Harriett.  We’re going to be house-mates for a while, and the formality would drive me crazy.”  Once Ellen was gone, Harriett sat back down in her chair and indicated the sofa for Malinda.  “Did you get a good breakfast this morning?”

Malinda shrugged.  “We had some cornbread.”

Harriett made a face.  “I’ll have Higgins bring in some tea and cookies, and I’ll be certain cook fixes a hearty lunch for us all.  I’m hungry too.”  She started to stand, but Malinda held up her hand. 

“I’ll go tell them if you’d like.  It’s not a problem.”

Harriett sighed.  “That would be nice.  My leg is bothering me more than usual today.  It’s probably going to rain tomorrow.”  She laughed.  “I sound like a crotchety old man predicting the weather with my bum leg.”

“What happened to your leg?”  Normally Malinda wouldn’t have asked, but when Harriett brought it up, she decided the subject wasn’t taboo.

A wary look passed over Harriett’s face.  “I fell down a flight of stairs.”

“I’m so sorry.”  Malinda could tell there was more to the story, but she didn’t feel like Harriett wanted to talk about it so she stood and went to talk to Higgins, who she found in the hallway outside the room. 

When she came back, she sat down on the couch.  “What do you want me to do first?”

Harriett sighed and looked at the huge pile of papers on her desk.  “Would you mind sorting through these?  On each letter where I’ve already sent a bride out, I’ve put a check mark in the upper right hand corner.  I want you to put the letters from the men together with the letters from the women after I receive them.  There should be two letters from each woman which will be filed with the letter from the man.  Am I even making sense?”

Malinda smiled, delighted.  Harriett had seemed like such a well-organized woman just the day before.  She saw now she wasn’t really just giving them charity.  She truly needed someone to help her organize.

She took the three inch stack of papers and started sifting through them.  Each of the letters had a woman’s name written in the top corner, which made them easier to put together with the stack of letters from brides.  She could see that Harriett had tried to make the system work well, but hadn’t done what she’d intended.

She felt like she’d barely gotten started when Ellen came in the door.  Harriett looked through the new letters and had Ellen leave again to go to the mercantile for fabric.  Malinda sighed.  Normally, she’d be begging to be the one to go outside, but lately every time she’d stepped foot outside, she’d wanted to cry.  Missing her father was hitting her hard.

They took a break for lunch and Malinda was thrilled to see the chicken and boiled potatoes with fresh bread.  They’d eaten nothing but beans and cornbread for weeks, even before their father died, so she had been almost desperate for something different.  She was certain she’d never willingly eat beans again.

Over the meal, Harriett talked about her plans for her two new assistants.  Mainly what she needed was someone to get her files in order.  “But I’m almost finished with that already.”

Harriett laughed softly.  “I have two more crates full of letters.  And when they’re sorted, I’ll need you to paste them into a book in a certain order.  It’s going to be a long boring task.”

Malinda shrugged.  “I don’t mind at all.”

Ellen looked at Harriett.  “Will there be enough for both of us to work on?”

Harriett nodded.  “While one of you works on sorting, the other can do the pasting.  You can each work half days and the other half you can work on your dresses.”

Ellen blinked.  “What dresses?”

“No bride should ever go to her marriage with old worn out clothes.  There’s enough fabric with what you bought this morning for you each to have two nice dresses for Sundays and three everyday dresses.  I may even help you sew them.”

“You can’t do that,” Ellen protested.  “You’re already doing too much for us by letting us stay here.”

“You can pay me back when the men send money for your journeys if you feel the need.” 

Ellen didn’t protest further, much to Malinda’s relief.  She could see that Harriett truly enjoyed helping people and would like to do more for them.  She hated it when she tried to help others and they refused her help, so she wasn’t going to take the joy of helping them from Harriett.  She’d find little ways to return the blessing.

After lunch, the three women went to Harriett’s formal parlor.  “I thought we could sew in here in the afternoons.  I won’t need to work into the afternoons with you both here, and I can enjoy your company while we make your dresses.”

Ellen looked sad at the idea of having to accept the help, but she must have realized just as Malinda did they needed it.  They simply couldn’t do it without help, and Harriett obviously had the means to help them.

When they were shown to their rooms that evening, Malinda was amazed.  She had never seen such a pretty room.  It was decorated in soft pastels and had beautifully carved furniture.  She’d always had a room with old furniture and a faded quilt.  The quilt had been pieced by their mother, so it held a special place in her heat, but she couldn’t help but love this room.  She would rather stay there forever than move to Colorado.  Did she have to get married?

Chapter Two

Malinda carefully pasted the letter Harriett had just received from a new happy bride.  She loved the way Harriett got so excited each time a bride wrote to her and told her how happy she was.  This was the third book she’d filled with letters from men searching for women and happy brides. 

Harriett had decided to take empty bound books and paste the letters she received into them for her records.  It was impossible to do alphabetically without knowing how many spaces to leave, so Malinda was doing it chronologically.  Harriett smiled every time she picked up a book and flipped through to read the old letters.

“Do you ever keep in contact with the women after they send you their second letter?”  Malinda asked.

“A few.”  Harriett looked up from the letter she was writing.  “There have been a few brides that I continued to write to, but not all.  Some just seem to touch my heart more than others.”  She tilted her head to the side as she watched Malinda, knowing she’d be one of those who touched her heart more.  How could she not be?  The girl’s sad eyes made her want to reach out and hug her.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, every woman goes West hoping for something different.  Some are just trying to escape something unpleasant here.  Some are looking for a place to go.  Some are looking for true love.  No matter what they’re looking for, they all have something special to offer.”  She shrugged.  “A few of them find real love when they arrive.  I tend to keep in touch with those.  I like to watch how their lives develop.  But honestly?  I keep in touch with the happy ones more, because they write to me more.”  She sat back in her chair and folded her hands.  “I keep writing to all my brides as long as they write to me.”

Malinda considered that for a moment.  “I’ll keep in touch with you whether I’m happy or not.  I promise.”  Malinda had never had someone far away to write to, but she’d happily write to Harriett every day in thanks for what she’d done for her and her sister.

Harriett smiled.  “I expect both you and Ellen to keep in touch with me.  I’ve gotten closer to the two of you than I have to any other brides.  No one else has ever moved in with me.”

“Thank you for letting us live here.  I don’t know how we’d have survived otherwise.”  Malinda knew she hadn’t thanked Harriett nearly enough for everything she’d done for them, but how could she?  How did you thank someone for giving you a place to live, a job, and somewhere to go when the job ended?  All she could do was offer her friendship to the lonely woman, and she would do that with everything inside her.

“I was happy to do it.  I’ll tell you, you two have provided so much more for me than I’ve ever done for you.  Your companionship has been just what I’ve needed.”  Harriett hadn’t realized until she’d offered the two sisters a home just how lonely and isolated she’d become.  Her closest friend was her butler, and she spent all her time either working or responding to letters she received from women who were little more than casual acquaintances.  She needed to do something to break away from her quiet life, but what?

Malinda thought carefully about how she wanted to phrase the question she had.  “Why do you not spend time with other women?  You spend all your time in this beautiful house.  Don’t you know anyone here?”

Harriett’s eyes looked guarded.  “I moved here three years ago after my husband died.  For a while, I was in shock and had no desire to be around other people.  After I’d been here for a while, I started the mail order bride business and I tend to have all my friendships on paper now.”

“What was your husband like?”

Harriett looked down at her hands.  “He was tall, handsome and extremely wealthy.”  She shrugged.  “When I first saw him, I thought he was the most wonderful man in the world.”

Malinda nodded, sensing there was a great deal more to the story that Harriett didn’t want to tell her, so she politely changed the subject.  “Our letters should be here soon, shouldn’t they?”

Harriett glanced at the calendar on the wall.  They’d already been there just over seven weeks.  “I would say any day now if they responded immediately.  Are you looking forward to getting married?”

Malinda shook her head slowly.  “I’m actually really nervous.”  Nervous was putting it mildly.  She had no idea how she was going to live without her sister and everything she knew.  She was petrified.

“All brides are nervous.  I’m sure Patrick is a wonderful man.”

“It’s not just that.  I don’t feel like I’m ready for marriage.  I mean, I don’t even know what happens when you marry.”  She blushed as she said it but kept her eyes on the older woman’s face.

A look of understanding crossed Harriett’s face.  “You mean on the wedding night?”

Malinda nodded and looked down at the letter she was gluing onto the page in front of her.  It was a letter talking about how happy a woman named Emily was.  She’d apparently married a wonderful man and had two equally wonderful new step-daughters.  Malinda wondered if she’d be writing a similar letter anytime soon.  Minus the step-daughters. of course.

Harriett took a deep breath.  “Just a moment.”  Walking to the hallway, she said something to someone out there in soft tones before returning.  She limped back to her usual chair in front of her desk.  “We’ll work for a few more minutes, and then we’ll talk over tea.”

Malinda looked at the older woman in surprise.  “You mean you’ll tell me?”  It had never occurred to her Harriett would be willing to explain that mystery to her.  She was pretty sure Ellen knew what happened, but Malinda hadn’t wanted to seem stupid, so she hadn’t brought it up to her sister.

“I wouldn’t knowingly send one of my brides off without them having basic knowledge of their wedding night.  It wouldn’t be fair to the bride or the man.  My job is to prepare a bride for her wedding.  If that’s part of the preparation, then I’ll do it.”

Over tea a few minutes later, Harriett calmly explained the basics of sex.  When she was finished she asked, “Do you have any questions?”

“Does it hurt?”  Malinda wasn’t certain if she was relieved to know what would happen or more afraid than ever.  How would she be able to do that without getting too embarrassed?

Harriett seemed to think about the question for a minute.  “It does the first time.  I think it depends on the man how it feels after that.” 

“Thank you for being honest with me.  And that’s what makes a baby?”  Malinda wanted to be certain she understood exactly what would cause a child.  What if she had twelve?  How would she know to stop if she didn’t know where they came from?

Harriett nodded.  “Yes, it is.  Do you want children?”

“I do.  Maybe not right away, though.  I’d like a little while to get used to being married first.”  Malinda shrugged.  “What if I hate it?”

“Marriage or intercourse?”

“Intercourse.”

Harriett smiled.  “I’m told it can be very pleasurable for a woman.”  She set down her tea cup and seemed to be about to say something else, when Ellen rushed into the room clutching a handful of letters. 

Ellen gave them to Harriett and said, “We got them!”

Harriett gave Ellen her letter back and smiled as she handed Malinda hers.  Malinda couldn’t tell if Harriett was disappointed or relieved their conversation was cut short.  She opened her letter and read.  “Dear Malinda,  I’m so happy to hear you’d like to be my bride.  I’ve enclosed a bank draft for Mrs. Long and  spending money for you.  I included extra so that you may help your sister during the journey if need be.  Your train ticket is also included.  You will leave on the fifteenth of July.  Wesley and I will be at the train station to fetch you both when you arrive.  We plan on marrying the day after your arrival.  You and your sister will spend the night in my home, while I spend the night with my brother in his.  I look forward to our marriage together.  I must say, I’m happy that Wesley and I will be marrying sisters.  I think it will help us to draw even closer as brothers if that is at all possible.  Yours, Patrick.”

Malinda stared down at the letter in her hand for a moment before taking out the check and giving it to Harriett.  The letter had seemed very cold and formal to her.  She hoped he would be much more personable when she met him.

Ellen handed Harriett a portion of her money for the trip to pay for the fabric they’d received.  She glared at Malinda as if telling her to do the same.  Malinda sighed.  Patrick obviously didn’t think they had enough to pay for the food as it was, so how would he feel if she gave some of it to Harriett?  She took several of the bills and offered them to Harriett, just as Ellen did.

Harriett refused to take their money, and Malinda was relieved.  They’d gone hungry enough.  Did they really need to do it during their trip out West?  And in the time she’d known Harriett, she’d learned you couldn’t force the woman to do anything she didn’t want to do.  She obviously didn’t want the money, so she wouldn’t take it.

*****

With only two days to go before the trip, Malinda, Ellen and Harriett sat finishing up the sewing.  Malinda was putting the last of the tiny details onto the wedding dresses while Harriett and Ellen made new aprons for each of them.  Malinda had no idea why she’d need an apron, being married to a banker, but she wouldn’t protest.

Harriett had been true to her word, working with them every afternoon.  Malinda was amazed at how efficient Harriett was, if not good with the smallest details.  With her help, they’d accomplished more than they’d dreamed they could in a short amount of time.  They had a trunk full of pretty new dresses instead of the old worn out dresses they’d moved into Harriett’s house with.

It was as she sat and sewed tiny intricate details into the bodice of her sister’s wedding dress that she realized she really was a better seamstress than Ellen.  Ellen had left the hardest parts for her to do, while she and Harriett had made the items that didn’t matter quite as much.  For the first time, Malinda felt some pride in her skills.  She’d never felt like she was good at anything, and now suddenly she knew she was. 

Ellen smiled at her sister.  “You’ve always dreamed of riding on a train.  Are you excited about the trip?”

Malinda looked at her and shrugged, partially with confusion.  She hadn’t dreamed of riding on a train since she was seven or eight.  Did her sister really know so little about her?  “I think it will be fine.  Honestly, I’m more nervous about being married than excited about riding a train.”

“I’m just really glad we’ll be together.  Maybe you can help me put the finishing touches on all my dresses.  I’m so envious of what an excellent seamstress you are.  I taught you to sew, and you’ve way surpassed my skill.”  Ellen spoke excitedly, as if she were thrilled with the work Malinda was able to do.

Malinda flushed with pleasure at the words.  Ellen complimented her a lot, but this was the first time she felt like the compliment was deserved.  “I’ll help in any way I can.”

Ellen smiled.  “I know.  You’re a good sister.”

“And you can help me learn to be the perfect hostess.”  Why did she suddenly hate the idea of being a hostess?  She’d enjoyed the few parties she’d been to and had always thought she’d like to host her own, but now that it was suddenly looming in her future, she hated the idea.

“You’re a lot better with people than I am, Malinda.  I mean, I talk to strangers easier than you do, but you really get people to open up and tell you things in a way I never could.  I wish I was as good at that type of thing as you are.”

Malinda smiled slightly.  She wished she believed that one.  “You know, as much as I fear being poor, I don’t know how well I’ll do at being a pampered wife of a banker.  I guess if I work hard enough at it, I could get used to it.  Being able to read all I want thrills me, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle the rest of it.”  She shrugged.  “We’ll see.  And if no one else in the town likes me at least I’ll have my sister there.”

“Everyone will like you, but you’ll always have your sister no matter what.”

Malinda nodded.  She almost wished she could back out and find some other way to make things work, but she knew Ellen wouldn’t back out now.  She always kept her word.  She was good that way.  Malinda wouldn’t let Ellen go without her, so she’d get on that train and go to Colorado and marry some boring stodgy banker and have a couple of children.  She only hoped it would be as perfect there as Ellen seemed to think it would be.

*****

Harriett went to the train station with them, and Malinda hugged her with tears in her eyes.  She’d had friends in school, of course, but she’d never felt as close to another woman as she had to Harriett.  She was close to Ellen, but it was in a different way.  She promised to write her as soon as they arrived so she knew they were okay.

She was going to truly miss her and hated knowing she’d be alone again after they were gone.  “You need to get out and meet people,” she whispered to Harriett as she hugged her.

Harriett nodded with tears in her eyes.  “I’ll try.”

Malinda sighed.  “It’s not good for you to spend all your time at home working.  Make some friends so you can sit around and laugh at all the letters you get from your brides.”

“I’m going to miss you so much!” Harriett whispered.

Harriett stood watching long after the train had disappeared around the bend.  She needed to make some changes in her life, and she knew it.  Being a recluse at twenty eight wasn’t good for anyone.  But how? 

*****

Ellen and Malinda had to switch trains in St. Louis, but it didn’t end up being as difficult as the two women had worried it would be.  Once they were settled on the train headed for Denver, Malinda let out a brief sigh of relief.  “I was certain we would get lost in St. Louis and end up stuck there for the rest of our lives.”  She rolled her eyes laughing at herself.

Ellen grinned at her.  “I was worried about the exact same thing.”

“You never worry!”  Malinda stared at Ellen in disbelief.  Ellen always knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it.  There was no way she worried about anything.

Ellen laughed.  “I can’t believe you think that.  I worry all the time!”

Malinda eyed her skeptically.  “About what?”

“Well, right now I’m worried that I lost all my money while we were in St. Louis and now that the train has left, I won’t be able to eat until we get to Denver.”  She quickly checked her string purse which was tied around her wrist.  “Oh, good.  Don’t have to worry about that one anymore.  I worry that Wesley will see me and send me straight back to Beckham.  I worry that the men are really crazed mountain men who would do anything to take a bride home.  They’ll have long gray beards that go down to their belts, and they won’t have bathed in at least six months.  We won’t be able to handle the stench coming off of them unless we stand down wind.  I worry that I’ll be gray before my time from all the worrying I do.”

Malinda giggled.  “You do worry.”  She sighed.  “I’m worried that I’ll see Patrick and get so scared I won’t even be able to talk to him.”  She looked down at her hands.  “I’m worried that I’ll be a terrible wife.”  The last words were whispered as if they were some dreadful secret she was sharing.

Ellen shook her head.  “Of course you won’t be a terrible wife.  You’re a good person, and you’ll work at it.”  She shrugged.  “We’re both going to have to work at being good wives, because we don’t know what the men will expect.  Everyone wants something different from a mate, right?”

Malinda stared out the window as she answered.  “But what if I can’t let him, well, you know?”  She blushed.  She’d done her best not to even think about what would be expected of her in bed since Harriett had talked to her about it.  It sounded so personal and embarrassing.  How could anyone let a man do that to them?

Ellen smiled.  “I’m worried about that, too.  We’ll be fine.  We know that women are supposed to do as their husbands tell them and we know that’s part of being married.  We’ll just do it and all will be fine.”

“I don’t know if I can.”  Malinda’s eyes met Ellen’s trying to convey how truly worried she was about the subject.

Ellen squeezed Malinda’s hand.  “You can.   You don’t have to know you can, because I know it.”

“So what you’re telling me is you’re just as nervous about all of it as I am, but you just hide it better?”  Could that be true?  Ellen was as nervous about this as she was?

Ellen nodded.  “I hide it really well.  After Mother died and teaching you to take care of housework became my responsibility, all I could think was that you wouldn’t learn a thing.  You did, though.  You’ve become really good at most household tasks.  I’m really proud of the woman you’ve become.”

Malinda rested her head on her sister’s shoulder, something she hadn’t done in years.  “I’m so glad I’m not doing this alone and you’re here to hold my hand.”  She knew deep in her heart that she couldn’t have gotten on the train and headed West on her own.  Without her sister, she would have turned back long ago.

“I couldn’t do it alone.  Without you?  I’d have turned tail in St. Louis and headed back home right then.”

“You would not!”  But she’d been thinking she would have.  Could her strong sister be as nervous and afraid as she was?  Was it possible?

“Of course, I would have.  Do you think traveling across our entire country to meet a total stranger and marry him the next day comes naturally to me?  Or anyone?  It doesn’t.  It requires so much more courage than I would ever be able to find without you beside me.”

Malinda eyed her sister.   Does she really have all those doubts?  She’s so much more confident than I am.  There’s no way she’s as afraid as me.  Is there?

Chapter Three

Malinda clutched Ellen’s hand and stared out over the crowd.  “Do you see them?”  She asked anxiously.  What if they forgot them or got the day wrong and they were stuck on the platform?  They had some money left, but not very much.  Would it be enough for a night in a hotel?  What would they do if it wasn’t?

Ellen shook her head.  “Not yet.  I thought being in front of the platform like this they would be easy to spot, but they’re not.”  Both of them were scanning through the crowd hoping they could find the two men among the masses of people.

Malinda’s eyes caught sight of two tall dark men walking toward them.  One of them was slightly shorter than the other but more muscular, and something about the way he walked toward her told her he was her Patrick.  She couldn’t take her eyes off of him even long enough to see what his brother looked like.  Why would she even care? 

Her heart started pounding in anticipation.  She had never seen such a handsome man.  Somehow, this man was better than all others.  She didn’t know how yet, but she knew he was.  All of her worries vanished as he walked straight to her.

He walked to her and his hands caught her at the waist, gently lifting her down to the ground to stand in front of him.  One finger traced the line of her cheek.  His brown eyes twinkled as they stared into hers.  “I’m so glad you’re finally here.”  His voice was deep and low.  She was surprised she could hear it over the crowd, but it was no problem at all.

She stared at him amazed.  He was the best looking man she’d ever seen in her life.  He had hair the color of chocolate and his eyes seemed to dance with life.  He had a dimple in his right cheek that was so sweet she found she had to make him smile just to see it again.  “I’m happy to be here.”  Was that whispery voice really hers?  She had never kissed a man in her life, but she wanted to kiss him.  Could his lips really be as soft as they looked?  He was clean-shaven, which made her happy.  She’d always pictured men out West as having beards and she knew he’d look good in a beard, but she was thrilled he didn’t have one.

He took her hand and pulled it through his arm, walking with her away from the platform.  She could think of nothing but this wonderful man beside her and the fact that fate had delivered him into her hands.  She wanted to rub her cheek against his shoulder, just to feel the muscles there.  She knew it wasn’t polite though, so she kept up her slow pace beside him, staring straight ahead like a lady.

When they reached the carriage, he helped her into the backseat and she simply sat drinking in his looks.  She could think of nothing to say as she stared.  He’d probably think she was the biggest idiot alive, but she didn’t care.  He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen.

He took her hand in his and pressed his lips to the back of it.  “All my life, I’ve dreamed of having a woman like you at my side.  Now I realize I wasn’t looking for just any woman.  God made you just for me.” 

She’d felt the same way from the instant she’d seen him.  Was it possible they were meant for each other?  She wished he would kiss her hand again, because she’d forgotten to pay attention to how soft his lips were.  It wouldn’t be polite to ask him though, so she sat looking up at him.  Malinda blushed prettily, unable to comprehend this man felt the same for her as she did for him.  How was it possible?  Harriett must be a genius to send her to this man.  How could she have been worried about a single thing? 

She barely noticed as Ellen and another man got into the front of the buggy.  She glanced at him and her immediate thought was, “He’s not as handsome as my Patrick.”  She was so happy she’d chosen the brother she had.

Ellen turned with a smile and held her hand out.  “You must be Patrick.”

The man next to Malinda blinked and grinned.  “I’m Wesley.”

Malinda felt her heart drop into her stomach.  How could he be Wesley?  She turned to him.  “But I’m Malinda.  How can you be Wesley?”

Wesley threw back his head and laughed, while Malinda stared at him in shock.  After a moment, he noticed how upset she was.  “Does it bother you that I’m not Patrick?  I mean, it’s not like we’re wife swapping here.  Obviously Patrick and Ellen make a better couple and so do we.”  He took her hand in his and rested it against his thigh.

“I don’t know what to say.  I had in my head I was going to marry one man, and now I’m trying to adjust.  We’re going to have to make some decisions.”  She knew immediately she couldn’t marry Patrick.  How could she marry anyone but this wonderful man sitting beside her?

Wesley nodded.  “I’m sure it’s not going to be a problem.  Is Ellen going to drag her feet over it?”  He looked perplexed as if he really didn’t understand why there was a decision to be made.

Malinda shrugged.  “She really doesn’t think much of bankers.”  She looked at the back of Ellen’s head, recognizing the stiffness in her sister’s posture as her being upset.  How could this have happened?

“That’s odd.  Most women would give their left arm to marry a banker.”  He studied her carefully.  “Will you talk to her about switching things?”  His hand covered hers and his thumb moved back and forth over the back of her hand.  It felt strange to let him touch her, but so good.  His thumb was sending little tingles of delight through her.

Malinda nodded.  “We’ll have to talk about it.  There’s so much to think about and consider.”  Like would Ellen be happy married to a banker?  And would she be able to marry without being assured of financial security?

“There is.  Mainly for the two of you, though.  We’re getting beautiful women either way.”  He leaned back, as if he was slightly annoyed with her. 

She didn’t want to hurt his feelings.  “I could never love Patrick, and I know I could really love you.”  She leaned over and rested her cheek against his shoulder.  She couldn’t imagine being married to Patrick.  She and Ellen needed to have a long talk to figure out what to do.

He looked back at her with a grin.  “I’m so glad to hear that!  I was worried you were disappointed.”

She shook her head.  “Not disappointed.  Confused and bewildered, but not disappointed.”

“I can deal with confused and bewildered.”  They were in the country by that point of their trip and headed toward Gammonsville.  The other couple was lost in their own world.  He cupped her face in his hands and lowered his lips to hers.

Malinda jerked surprised he would kiss her while they were driving down the road where anyone could see.  The feel of his lips against hers made her stomach flutter.  How could anything feel this good?  His tongue traced along the outside of her lips and she jerked back in shock staring at him.  Her hand went to her lips.

“Have I mentioned you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen?” he asked in a whisper, his thumb moving back and forth across her bottom lip.

“But you’re supposed to marry my sister….”  Even the thought made her stomach hurt.  She couldn’t let Ellen marry this man.  He was hers.  God had meant him for her, not for Ellen.  But….

He shook his head.  “How could I even think of marrying her when you’re in my life?”

She sighed.  It was going to be a confusing day while they decided what to do.

*****

Ellen and Malinda talked about what had happened while the men carried in their trunk.  “I’m attracted to Patrick.”  Ellen looked shocked with herself for just saying the words.

“I could tell.  I’m attracted to Wesley.  It’s too bad you’re marrying Wesley and I’m marrying Patrick.”  But oh, how she wanted to marry Wesley.  There’s no way Patrick would be able to make her want to climb onto his lap and kiss him forever with just a look.  And Patrick didn’t have that sweet dimple did he?  Had she even looked at Patrick for long enough to know what he looked like?  She wasn’t sure she could pick him out of five men standing in front of her.

“How would you feel about switching?  I could marry Patrick and you could marry Wesley.   Patrick is someone I could love, but I don’t think I could ever love Wesley.  Not as anything more than a brother.”  Ellen’s eyes were intense as she asked.

Malinda had thought about nothing but what they would do since she had found out it was Wesley she was falling for and not Patrick.  How could she express how she felt?  She wanted to marry Wesley so badly, but an even stronger need inside her was the need to never be in the situation they’d been through in Beckham again.  “But Wesley is poor.  He’s just a sheriff.”  She knew the words sounded bad, but she didn’t have the words to express all the turmoil she felt inside.

Ellen sighed.  “I know that.  But don’t you think you should be attracted to the man you marry and not just his money?”

Malinda frowned.  How could Ellen think that money mattered more to her than love?  Didn’t she know her at all?  Didn’t she understand the overwhelming fear she’d felt when they couldn’t find the money she’d been certain their father had hidden somewhere?  “I really like Wesley, but I’m afraid of being poor.”

“You know if Wesley ever has financial problems, his brother is a banker, right?  I’m sure Patrick wouldn’t let his brother live on the streets!”

“You don’t even know him yet.  How can you say that with such certainty?”  Malinda needed time, and it’s all she could think about.  How could she make such an important decision in a few minutes?  She needed to think about whether or not she could ever leave her children destitute.  Their father had been the best man she’d ever known, yet he’d still left them with no money.  She couldn’t let that happen to her children.

Ellen’s face turned red with anger.  “Why don’t we do this?  We’ll give it some time.  We’ll ask them to give us a month to see who we want to marry.  I know that Wesley is attracted to you and Patrick is attracted to me.  I’m sure they’ll agree to it.”

Malinda nodded.  A little time was all she needed.  Time to get over the fact that her husband would be poor.  Time to get to know Patrick to be sure he’d help them if something happened.  “That makes sense.  I need to know if I could fall in love with Patrick before I marry him.”  What I really need is to know that Patrick would help my children and me if anything were to happen to Wesley.

“Do you think they’ll be angry with us?”

Malinda shrugged.  “Probably not.  I mean, they want to be happy in their marriages too, right?”  She hoped they wouldn’t be angry.  If she had met Wesley under any other circumstances, she was certain they’d already be standing before the preacher, but she’d been certain she’d never have to worry about money again, and to make such an abrupt change was confusing her.

They met up with the men in the parlor after the trunk had been carried up the stairs.  “We have something we’d like to ask you,” Ellen began.  She looked like she was uncertain about the conversation and Malinda reached out and squeezed her hand.  She could see now that Ellen was worrying.  She wouldn’t have recognized the look before their discussion on the train, though.

Patrick smiled at Ellen as if he’d never seen anyone so beautiful.  Malinda was certain her sister would be marrying the banker, but she just wasn’t sure if she should marry immediately, or wait a bit.  “Certainly.” 

“We’d like to have some time to get to know you.  I’m sure you noticed that we both automatically paired off with the wrong person.  Would you be willing to put off the weddings until we know each other better and can decide who we think we’d be better matched with?”  Ellen’s voice faltered as she asked.  Malinda knew she didn’t want to put things off.  She wanted to marry Patrick immediately.

“How long are you asking for?”  He looked like he was annoyed at the thought of waiting, but Malinda knew he wanted to marry Ellen.

“A month?”

“No.  That’s too long.  How about two days?” Patrick countered.

Ellen looked surprised.  “That won’t work!  We’d have no time to get to know either of you!  How about three weeks?”  Why did Ellen look like she was enjoying the conversation?

“Three days.”

Ellen folded her arms.  “That’s unreasonable.  Two weeks?” 

Malinda looked at Ellen in surprise.  How low would she go?  She wouldn’t say only five days, would she?

“One week,” Wesley suggested.  “That gives us all time to get to know one another a little better and to decide whom we want to marry, but it doesn’t make us feel like you’re trying to put off the marriage forever.”  Wesley’s voice sounded perfectly reasonable, but his eyes were on Malinda the whole while.

Ellen turned to Malinda.  “Are you okay with one week?” 

Malinda nodded.  “I don’t think we’re going to be able to talk them into anything more than that.”  Maybe she’d be able to stretch it longer than that.  The longer she could put off her wedding night, and the better she knew her husband before, the better she’d feel about it all.

“One week.”

“A week it is.  Not a day more.”  Patrick stood and grabbed Ellen’s hand, pulling her to her feet and out of the room.  Malinda heard a door close.

She looked at Wesley, wondering if he’d be angry.  He and Patrick and been sitting in arm chairs across from the sofa where Ellen and Malinda sat.  He stood and moved to sit beside Malinda.  “Thank you for talking to your sister.”  His fingers skimmed along her cheek as he stared into her eyes.

Malinda nodded.  She didn’t tell him that Ellen had brought it up first.  Why hurt his feelings by making him think her sister didn’t want to marry him?  “I’m glad we’re going to take a little time to get to know each other.”

He put his arm around her shoulders along the back of the sofa, pulling her close beside him.  Dropping his head, he pressed his lips to hers in a kiss with a great deal more passion than they’d shared in the buggy.  Her lips parted under his insistent tongue and he slid his tongue inside her mouth to toy with hers.  His hands were against her back, pressing her into him. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him.  She had been thinking about what Harriett had told her about what happened between a husband and wife, and hadn’t even been able to see herself undressed with a man.  With Wesley, though, all she could think about was stripping off all of their clothes and climbing onto his lap.  She couldn’t help but wonder how Ellen would react if she found them naked together on Patrick’s sofa when they came back.  She pulled back as a giggle escaped her lips.

He looked down at her questioningly.  “Are you laughing at me?”  He had one eyebrow raised and looked stern

She shook her head.  “Not at all.”  She blushed, knowing she could never tell him what she’d been thinking.

“Share the humor.  I can always use a good laugh.”

She shook her head emphatically.  “I couldn’t.”

“Then I’ll just assume you were marveling at having such a handsome man beside you, and thinking about how incredibly fortunate you are, and you just couldn’t help but laugh with joy.”

She giggled again.  “That’s exactly it.”

He stroked her cheek, smoothing the hair that had fallen out of her bun.  “Have I mentioned yet that I’m happy you’re here?”

“Not since you quit thinking I was Ellen.”  Ellen would make him a better wife, she knew.  Could she even handle the daily chores that would be a part of being his wife?

He grinned.  “That was a fun little mistake, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t know that I’d call it fun.  It makes everything so confusing.”  If only he were Patrick and had the money to make her feel secure.  But Patrick wasn’t the man for her, and she knew it.

He studied her for a moment.  “How does it make things confusing?” 

She shrugged.  “It just is.  I don’t really know how to explain it.”  How could she tell him she was afraid of being poor without angering him?

“You’re not seriously considering marrying my brother, are you?”

She shook her head.  “There’s no way I could marry Patrick.  It would break my sister’s heart.  I do think we all need a week to get to know one another better before we actually marry, though.”

He nodded skeptically.  “You know you’d break my heart too, if you married my brother?  I couldn’t watch the two of you together for the rest of my life while I lived in a half marriage with your sister.”

“A half marriage?”

He shrugged.  “That’s all it could be compared to a marriage with you.   I look at you and I see my future.  I see children and a life full of love.  With her?  I’d feel totally alone, because she and I would never have the bond I felt for you as soon as I saw you on the train platform.”

She smiled and leaned forward to rest her head against his shoulder.  “It’s not going to come to that.”  What she didn’t say is she wasn’t sure if she could marry him at the end of the week. 

He held her close and closed his eyes, knowing he’d found the only woman he could ever love with his whole heart.

Whether she’d come out there to marry his brother or the governor of the state of Colorado, he was going to marry her and spend the rest of his life with her.  She was the most perfect woman he’d ever met, and nothing could ever change that.

*****

Before bed that night, Malinda dropped to her knees to pray.  “Please Lord, help me to do what’s right.  I made a commitment to one man, but fell head over heels in love with another.  My sister is in love with the man I made a commitment to.  I know Your Word says to trust You and not worry about money, but look where we ended up in Beckham.  How can I just trust that will never happen again?  Please help me sort out my tangled thoughts.  I have to figure out what to do so I won’t keep the lives of three other people in limbo.  It’s just not fair for me to do that, and I won’t.  I pray for Your wisdom in the name of Your precious son.  Amen.”

She climbed between the sheets and settled her head on the pillow, hoping she’d be able to sleep at least a little.  Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Wesley at the altar with Ellen.  He couldn’t marry Ellen, and she couldn’t marry Patrick.  But could she get over her fears for long enough to marry Wesley?  She really wasn’t sure if she could.

*****

“What did we agree to?” Wesley asked Patrick as they left the house.

Patrick sighed heavily.  “I don’t know.  I couldn’t think straight, because I was given a chance to get to know Ellen better and possibly convince her to marry me.”

Wesley nodded.  “I understand.  Ellen is pretty.  Not as pretty as Malinda, of course, but she’s pretty.”  He knew saying that would annoy his brother, and he’d never been one to back away from needling Patrick.

Patrick laughed.  “Ellen is a million times prettier than Malinda could ever dream of being, and you know it as well as I do.  Why would you say such a thing?”

Wesley shrugged.  “So you’re going to sleep on the lumpy mattress in my spare room for an entire week?  Think you can handle that, rich boy?”  Wesley elbowed Patrick in the arm as he asked.

“No, I really don’t think I can.  I don’t suppose you’d let me buy you a decent mattress for your guest room so I have something good to sleep on?”

“I don’t suppose I would.”  He grinned at his older brother.  “It’ll be good for you to sleep on my lumpy mattress for a while.  It’ll remind you of how the other half lives.  You’ll grow to like it.”

“I won’t like it, but I can tolerate it.”  Patrick shook his head in disgust.

“For a man who used to sleep on the floor of his gold mine because he was afraid someone would go in there during the night, you sure are finicky.”  Wesley knew his brother wasn’t as picky as he was making him out to be, but it was fun to tease him about his money.

Patrick laughed.  “Now that I’m rich, I have a right to be finicky.”

“I guess you do.   Of course, this week you get to lie awake on my lumpy mattress dreaming about your girl sleeping on your bed.”  He watched Patrick out of the corner of his eye.  “I wonder if she’ll sleep nude.  In your bed.  With your pillow.  Thinking of you.”

Patrick groaned.  “Stop it!  You know I’ll lie awake and think of nothing else now.”

Wesley led the way into his small house and walked to his bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt as he went.  “My work here is done then.”  He smiled happily as he opened his bedroom door.

“I hate you sometimes.”

“It’s the way of brothers.”  Wesley closed his door with a snap, leaving the spare room with its lumpy mattress for his brother.

Chapter Four

Malinda didn’t get to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, and was surprised to see the sun was still so low in the sky when she dragged herself out of bed.  She dressed quickly, knowing Ellen would have been up long before her because she was always at her best early in the mornings.  She’d tried to be a morning person, but she didn’t have an easy time falling asleep, so she never seemed to get out of bed until someone came and rousted her.

She descended the stairs and poked around until she found her sister sitting in the kitchen casually talking to the cook she introduced as Alice.  She shook her head.  Only Ellen would get up at the crack of dawn to watch someone else fix her breakfast.  She was surprised Ellen hadn’t forced the cook to sit down so she could fix breakfast for her.  As soon as the thought entered her head, she was ashamed.  Mornings put her in a bad mood, but that didn’t give her an excuse to have mean thoughts about someone who had only ever been good to her.

The entire time Malinda was eating her breakfast, Ellen tried to push her into making a fast decision.  Malinda tried to explain why she wanted to wait, but Ellen obviously didn’t understand, and she couldn’t find the right words to get through to her.  How could her sister honestly think she only cared about money when she made this decision?

After breakfast, she spent most of the day in her room, reading through one of the books she’d brought with her.  She didn’t want to spend the entire day listening to Ellen’s lectures about how she needed to make a fast decision and how she was being unfair to the rest of them.  They’d all agreed on a week, and she felt she had the right to use that week for the decision.

She dressed carefully for their first evening of really getting to know the men.  Ellen told her Patrick was going to take them all to a restaurant, and neither of the sisters had ever eaten in one, so Malinda was ecstatic.  She walked down the stairs when she heard the door open and watched Wesley’s face light up as he saw her.  How could she have lived her entire life without knowing that sweet man was out there waiting for her?

Wesley took her shawl from her hands and wrapped it around her shoulders for her.  It was July, but he’d told her the mountains were cool at night, and as they went outside, she could see he was right. 

She and Wesley walked together a few steps behind Ellen and Patrick.  She couldn’t hear what the other couple was saying and that suited her just fine.  Ellen was probably complaining about her and how she wouldn’t make up her mind.  “How was your day?” she asked Wesley.

He shrugged.  “It was pretty quiet around here.  I had something funny happen though, if you want to hear about it.”  He glanced at her as he asked the question, obviously not wanting to bore her with the tedium of his job if she wasn’t interested.

She squeezed his arm a little tighter as they walked.  “Of course I do.  I want to hear about anything you want to tell me about.”  Even if what he said wasn’t interesting, she just loved listening to his deep voice. 

He smiled down at her, obviously pleased with her answer.  “I was sitting in my office and a woman came in with her five year old son.  He’d stolen a gumdrop from the mercantile when the owner wasn’t paying attention.”  He grinned at the memory, his eyes now far away.  “Well, the mother obviously wanted me to do something about it.  So I picked him up and sat him on my desk.  ‘Son?’ I asked him.

“He looked down at his feet, refusing to meet my eyes, but when he realized I wasn’t going to say anything else, he looked up at me.  ‘What?’

“So I asked him ‘Do you know what you did was wrong?’

“He just shrugged, so I said, ‘Did you know it was wrong before you did it?’

“Tommy, that’s his name, said, ‘Sure I knew.  I’m not an idjit.’”

Malinda laughed softly enjoying the story.  She’d never thought of a sheriff as someone who would be good at telling stories, but she could see what Wesley talked about as he spoke. 

“Well, then I asked, ‘You know what the penalty is for stealing, right?’

“That got him scared.  He drew this really deep breath, like he was preparing for something terrible, and said, ‘Hangin’?’

“I had to hide a laugh at that.  That little boy sat on my desk, thinking he was going to be hanged for stealing a gumdrop.  ‘Nope,’ I said.  ‘That’s just for horses.  For a gumdrop, you have to spend five minutes in the city jail.’”

“You didn’t!”  Malinda was horrified at the thought of a little boy sitting in jail, even if just for five minutes.

“I did.  The mother’s face lit up, like I’d come up with just the perfect answer.  I took him down from my desk and walked him over to the jail.  I let him see the big ring I keep the key on, and I made it really dramatic as I unlocked it.  I asked, ‘Do you want to hug your mother before you serve your time?’ and he ran to her crying and hugged her really tightly. 

“I almost relented, until she looked at me with a slight nod, and I knew she wanted me to go through with it.  ‘Come on now, Son,’ I told him.  ‘You’ll have plenty of time for crying while you’re sitting in jail.’”

Malinda covered her giggle with her hand.  “So you put him in jail?  Please tell me there were no other prisoners in there?”

Wesley nodded.  “Of course not.  I would have come up with another solution if there had been.”  He tilted his hat forward on his head.  “I put him in there and locked the door, and then his mother and I stepped outside.  She thanked me for what I was doing, and said after he’d ‘served his time’ she’d take him back to the mercantile to apologize and make him pay for the gumdrop.  Of course, she’s going to make him work it off when he gets home.  Something about giving the dog a bath.”

Malinda grinned.  “Better than getting into a gun fight with a criminal right?”  She looked up at him, concerned for the first time about the violence of his job.

“Oh, definitely.  We don’t really do gun fights around here, though.  I sometimes have to throw someone in jail for a day or two for trying to jump a claim or public drunkenness.  Other than that, it’s pretty quiet.  My job is more about keeping anyone from robbing the bank than anything else.”

“That’s a relief.”  She hated the idea of anything happening to him while he was at work.  “I’m really happy to hear your job isn’t as dangerous as it sounds.”  She already had such strong feelings for him.   Would she be able to handle the death of someone else she loved?

He smiled down at her happily.  “Does that mean you’re worried about me?”

She shrugged.  “I wouldn’t say that.  I just don’t want to have to go to a funeral.  They’re depressing.”  She watched him out of the corner of her eye to see if he realized she was just teasing.

He laughed.  “Well, that puts me in my place doesn’t it?”

They’d reached the restaurant and once they were seated she reached for her menu.  As she read it, she realized she’d never heard of anything on there.  How was she supposed to decide what to eat?  She didn’t want to look like a complete idiot, so she just closed her eyes and pointed.  When the waiter asked her what she wanted, she pointed to the thing on the menu, something she really couldn’t pronounce.

“Escargot?” the waiter replied.  “Very good, ma’am.”

While they waited for their food, she talked to Wesley in low tones about how much she liked the weather there.  “It’s so much cooler here than back home.  It was getting hard to sleep at night with as hot as it was, but here we almost need a fire at night.”  She shook her head.  “Your mountains are wonderful.

“I’m glad you like it.  In the winter we’ll probably be snowed in a lot.”

“I like that idea.  As long as you’re snowed in with me, it’ll be fun.”  She loved the idea of long winter days wrapped in a blanket in front of the fire.  Of course, in her dreams she wasn’t the one climbing out from under the blanket to make the meals, but she could adjust as needed.

When the meal came, she stared at her food in horror.  They were snails complete with shell in some kind of butter sauce?  She couldn’t eat snails! 

Wesley looked at her food with interest.  “I’ve never been able to bring myself to try snails.  You’re braver than I am.  Do you really like them?”

She nodded, staring down at her plate.  There was a tiny little fork that she assumed was for digging the snail out of the shell.  She plucked out a bite and tentatively put it into her mouth, chewing slowly.  She did her best to keep her face straight and not show how disgusting she thought her meal was.  She didn’t want to eat it, but she’d been hungry enough in her life to know that if she didn’t like what was put in front of her, she needed to eat it anyway.

She saw Ellen watching her over her steak and baked potato.  Next time she went to a restaurant, she was going to have Wesley order for her.  He looked like he’d gotten some kind of chicken dish.  Everyone looked like they were eating something good but her.  She stirred her food with her fork, trying to make it look like she’d eaten more than she had.  Maybe she could sneak down to the kitchen in the middle of the night.

After the meal, she watched as Ellen and Patrick went to the dance floor.  She glanced at Wesley, wondering if he’d ask her to dance as well.  He didn’t ask.  Instead he stood and held his hand down to her.  She put hers into his and he led her to the patio with the small orchestra.  Just having her hand in his made her feel safe and protected.  What was it about him that drew her?  She looked up at him, trying to figure it out.  Sure, he was handsome, but so were dozens of other men she’d met.  He was funny and she enjoyed his personality and sense of humor, but there was more to it than that.

Finally deciding she wouldn’t be able to figure it out, she just danced with him.  He pulled her into his arms and she wanted to melt against him.  Instead she kept her hand on his shoulder, and did her best to keep their bodies from touching as she saw all the other couples doing.  She wasn’t about to admit that she’d never danced before, and it didn’t seem to matter because her feet seemed to know what to do.  Their steps were perfect with each other. 

She stared into his eyes as they danced, feeling a wave of emotion rush through her body.  She was in love with him.  She loved the sheriff of a small town who spent his days locking up small boys for stealing gumdrops.  What was she thinking? 

She looked over at Ellen and Patrick for a moment, and it was forced home why she could never marry him.  He looked so happy with Ellen, and Ellen looked so happy with him.  Should I just tell them all after they walk us home that I can’t marry Patrick?  But am I ready to marry Wesley?

She knew she wasn’t ready to marry him, so no, she couldn’t tell them.  She needed to decide if she was going to marry the man she was dancing with or take her chances by going home to Beckham.  She didn’t want to return home, but neither did she think she could worry about money for the rest of her life.  She wished there was some way for her to know exactly how much money Wesley made.  Maybe it would make her feel better about marrying him.

After their dance they returned to the table, and just as she and Wesley started talking, Patrick asked Malinda to dance.  Malinda looked at Wesley and Ellen in confusion, but put her hand in Patrick’s, following him to the dance floor.

After the first step, she stumbled and stepped on his foot.  “So sorry!”  What had been so effortless with Wesley was a chore with Patrick.

He shook his head and smiled down at her.  “It’s not a problem.”  He stared at the ceiling as if struggling to find something to talk about.  “What do you think of Colorado?”

“Oh, it’s beautiful.  I love the weather so far.  Back home it was getting too hot to sleep at night.”  Weather?  All the man could think to talk about was weather?  Poor Ellen!

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.  Are you comfortable at the house?   If you need something, be sure to ask Mrs. Smith for it.  She’d be happy to oblige.”

“Thank you.  I will.”  She waited for a minute in silence for him to start another topic of conversation.  When he didn’t, she blurted, “My sister seems to really care about you.  She hates bankers.” 

He grinned down at her.  “She told me.  She said that’s why she didn’t answer my letter and you did.”

Malinda shrugged.  She hadn’t meant to say that about Ellen hating bankers, but she hated to just stand there with nothing to talk about.  “Yeah, I don’t hate bankers like she does.  I guess we both reacted differently to a difficult situation.”  Ellen hated bankers and she was desperately afraid of not having financial security.  She didn’t know which was better.

“I’m glad you’re no longer in that place.  And I want you to know, had I been your banker, that wouldn’t have happened.  I can’t bring myself to evict anyone who is going through hard times.”  He shrugged.  “If they simply choose not to repay me, well that’s something different.”

“There are people who can repay you, but don’t?”  Malinda had never imagined there would be anyone like that.  She would have loved to be able to pay her bills.

He nodded.  “Usually it’s one of the miners.  They’ll find their gold and expect to not repay me.  It’s very strange, but when they make money, they just think they should be able to keep every dime of it.” 

“You’d think the miners would be happy to pay after they find gold.”  If someone had a lot of money, what would keep them from paying for the things they had gotten on credit?

“You’d think.  I wish that were the case, though.”

Finally the music ended and Malinda was able to go back to the table.  She didn’t dislike Patrick, but she certainly couldn’t see what Ellen thought was so wonderful about him.  She wasn’t looking forward to the following night when she’d have to spend time with him alone.  She wished she could find the courage to either marry Wesley and not worry about being poor or go home to Beckham without Ellen.  She knew she couldn’t marry Patrick, so why was she waiting?  She sighed.  She was waiting because she didn’t have the courage to do anything else.

Sitting down across from Wesley, she smiled.  “Did you enjoy the dance?”

He shrugged.  “I like your sister.  She’s really nice, but it’s so weird being around her.  I know I was supposed to marry her, but I can’t see myself doing it.  If you two decide you want to keep with the original partners, I probably will just send for another bride.”

Malinda studied Wesley’s face.  “Really?  She’s a much better cook and homemaker than I am.”  And if he was willing to send for another bride, did that mean he didn’t care about her?

“We’ll go to Patrick’s every night for dinner,” he said with a grin.  “Not really, of course.  I’m sure your cooking is just fine.”

She sighed.  “You’re sure because you’ve never eaten it.  I can bake, though.”

He grinned taking her hand in his.  “I promise, if you cook it, I’ll eat it.  I’m not picky, and seeing your face across the table while I’m eating it will make all the difference in the world to me.”  He brought her fingers to his mouth, kissing them.

They sat out the rest of the dances, both of them preferring to talk at the dinner table instead of being on the crowded dance floor with their siblings overhearing every word.

When Patrick and Ellen arrived back at the table, Ellen’s cheeks were red with exertion and her face was happier than Malinda had ever seen it.  Malinda couldn’t help but be happy for her sister.  She’d met the man who was meant for her, and she was happy.

Malinda looked over at Wesley.  She knew that he was the man she was meant to spend the rest of her life with, but she needed to find the courage to do it.  How could she marry a man and spend the rest of her life panicked that she would end up widowed with no way to support herself?  His job didn’t help.

On the short walk back to Patrick’s house, Wesley kept his arm firmly around her shoulders.  “Are you guys coming in or going back to your house?”  She really hoped he’d come in.  The more time she spent with him, the more she felt like she could stop worrying about money and just worry about love.

“I’m going to get as much time alone with you as I can before a decision is made.  Maybe I can drug you with kisses and turn you into my slave.”  He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

She laughed.  “I don’t think so, but you’re welcome to try.”  His kisses did make it so she couldn’t see straight, though.

When they walked into the house, Patrick and Ellen immediately went to the back porch, so she went into the parlor with Wesley.  She sat on the sofa, and he sat close enough beside her she couldn’t have inserted a piece of paper between them.  “My father would not approve of you being so close to me.”

He shrugged.  “Your father’s not here, right?”

She felt sadness overwhelm her at his flippant remark.  “No, he’s not.”  She stared down at her hands, not able to meet his eyes.

Wesley immediately realized his mistake.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean it the way it came out.”

She shook her head.  “That’s okay.  I need to get over it.” 

“When did he die?”

“May.”  But it still seemed like yesterday.  When he hadn’t come for dinner, Ellen had asked her to go find him.  She’d been the one to find him lying between the rows of wheat, not breathing.  She could still see him lying there motionless.

“That’s not enough time.”  He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.  “Were the two of you close?”

“I can’t imagine a girl being closer to her father than I was.  I followed him everywhere on the farm until Mother died.  After that, he made me stay in the house to help Ellen with the housework, but I never really got to the point where I enjoyed that.  I’m good at working outdoors, though.”  She shrugged.

“Hmmm…..well, I’ll just make you my deputy and we can hire a woman to come in and cook and clean.”

She laughed.  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”  She couldn’t picture herself wearing a badge and carrying a gun, but the idea of it made her smile despite her sadness.

“I’d do anything to make you happy.  I’ve never met a woman I wanted to shower with gifts, but you’re that woman.”  He pressed a kiss to her forehead.  “I can’t imagine my life without you now that I’ve found you.”

She snuggled into him resting, her head on his shoulder happily.  “I hate that you’re spending tomorrow night with Ellen.  I’m jealous of my own sister when I know she prefers your brother and you prefer me.  What was I thinking to agree to that?”  She not only hated the idea of having to spend an evening with Patrick, but knowing Wesley was going to be with Ellen?  She was going to be eaten up with jealousy.

“Don’t worry.  I’ll make sure she knows you’re the only woman for me.”

Malinda turned her face up toward his and saw him looking down at her with his intense brown eyes.  “You will?”

He nodded, dropping his lips to hers.  His tongue traced the outline of her lips as he kissed her.  “I will.  We have to convince the others that we need to marry.”

Malinda lost herself in his kiss, not telling him that she was the only hold up in their wedding plans.  How could she tell him that she was afraid to marry him because she didn’t want to be poor?  How shallow would that make her seem?

After the men left that night, Malinda lay awake in bed thinking about the things Harriett had told her would happen between a husband and wife.  Even with how strongly she felt about Wesley, she couldn’t imagine letting him do that to her.  Not yet anyway.  Maybe in a month or two….

*****

“So, how was dancing with my girl?” Wesley asked Patrick during their short walk back to Wesley’s home.

“I stepped on her foot.”

“On purpose?”

“Oh, yeah.  She needed to understand that we’re just not right for each other.  We don’t even move together well on the dance floor.”  Patrick grinned at his brother.

“What did you two talk about?”

“The weather.”

“You didn’t!  She’s going to think you’re the most boring, clumsy man alive.  I hope she doesn’t think I’m the same way because we’re brothers.”  Wesley laughed.

“I’m sure she doesn’t.  She all but ran back to the table to be with you.”

“That’s a good thing.  You need to keep your hands off my girl.”

Patrick shook his head.  “I wouldn’t have touched her if you hadn’t come up with this idea to make sure Ellen didn’t like me and Malinda didn’t like you.”

“It was a stroke of genius on my part.  Admit it.”

“I’ll admit nothing of the sort.  You think too much of yourself already.”

“Spoil sport.”  Wesley opened the door of his house and walked straight back to his room, closing the door behind him with a snap.

*****

Malinda helped Ellen cook dinner for the men the following night.  As usual, she followed Ellen’s instructions and did what she was told.  In the back of her mind she wondered how she could possibly cook a meal on her own that wasn’t eggs or pancakes, but she decided she wouldn’t worry about it until the time came.  If she added something else to worry about, she’d be overwhelmed. 

Ellen asked Malinda to bake the cake for dessert, and Malinda did it happily.  She liked to bake as much as she disliked cooking.  After the thought popped into her mind, she realized she didn’t really dislike cooking, she just felt uncomfortable doing it.  Maybe as she did it more, it would be more enjoyable for her.

While they cooked, they chatted about how things were going with the men.  Ellen couldn’t seem to stop talking about how wonderful Patrick was.  Malinda was pleased to see her sister so happy.  How could she not be, when Ellen had sacrificed so much for her?  She almost felt guilty about the hours Ellen had worked with her, teaching her the most basic household chores when she’d wanted to be reading a book or just talking with her friends.  Gradually Ellen’s friends had quit inviting her to do things, because she always said she had to take care of her sister.

By the time the men came, they had dinner on the table and most of the dishes were washed.  They only had to do the few plates they’d eaten off of, because Ellen was fastidious about doing the dishes as they went along.  Malinda didn’t see why it was so important, but she did it the way her sister wanted to keep her happy.

When the men arrived, Patrick handed her a bouquet of flowers. She hadn’t expected that.  She looked over at Wesley in confusion as he gave one pink rose to Ellen.  It was as if each of the men were setting out to court the other’s woman.  Malinda was angry at first, and then she realized that it was part of the deal they’d made.

At dinner, the others talked while Malinda stirred her food on her plate.  She wasn’t very hungry after watching the way Wesley was hanging on Ellen’s every word.  Did he have to make it look like he was really interested in her?

Ellen kept giving Patrick confused looks, but he pretended not to see them as he focused on Malinda, who would rather not have his focus.  When she served her cake, Malinda put it down in front of Wesley, hoping to impress him with her baking skills.  Ellen didn’t have to worry about impressing a man with her cooking because she was good at it, but Malinda needed all the help she could get.

After dinner, she followed Patrick out to the porch.  She didn’t know what to say to the man, so for a moment she stood staring out into the night.  “It’s a nice clear night.”

“We have a lot of those in the summer here.  I love summer.”

Malinda turned and looked at the man who was sure to be her brother in law.  He was sitting on the wide porch swing, moving it gently to and fro with his foot.  “I do too, but I like winter better.  There’s just something about being snowed in and sitting in front of a hot stove wrapped up in a quilt that makes me smile.”

Patrick patted the swing beside him.  “Come and sit with me.”

Malinda sighed.  She didn’t want to sit beside him, but if she didn’t, was she violating their agreement?  If she did, was she being hateful to her sister?  She’d never been in such a difficult situation.  Finally she walked to the swing and sat beside him, staring straight ahead into the darkness.

“So what do you like to do in your spare time?” he asked.

She shrugged.  “I like to bake, sew and read mainly.  I used to enjoy being outdoors all the time, but since Father died, it just makes me sad.”  She didn’t add more to it, because she really didn’t want him knowing anything about her.   The way the men were switching partners was making her extremely uncomfortable.

“I can understand that.”  He draped his arm around her shoulders, and she wanted to move away from him.  How dare he touch her that way?  He cared for her sister, didn’t he?

“What do you like to do?”  As she asked the question, she leaned forward so his arm wouldn’t be touching her any longer.

“I enjoy reading books about finance and walking.”

“That sounds terribly boring.”  As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she covered it with her hand.  She shouldn’t have said that.  She knew she shouldn’t have said that, but he was making her crazy.

He laughed.  “Not afraid to say what you think, are you?”

“Why would I be?  I can’t hide who I really am from a man and not expect him to be disappointed if we marry.”  There, would that cover up her embarrassment?  Probably not, but it was worth a try.

They rocked in silence for another minute.  “Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked.

She shook her head.  “I really don’t.  Can we just stay here?”  Not that the back porch was any better, but she wanted to be able to yell and have Wesley hear her.  Patrick made her feel extremely uncomfortable.

He nodded.  “Sure.”  Again nothing was said for a full minute.

She was beginning to feel even more uncomfortable when he put his hand on her cheek and turned her face to his.  He looked deep into her eyes and said, “Your sister is the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Malinda stiffened up.  “I’m going inside.”  Really, the man was insufferable.  He acted like he had feelings for her all evening just so he could tell her that?  She was glad he cared for Ellen, she really was, but to have him say her sister was the most beautiful woman in the world as he stared into her eyes?  She stood and rushed into the house.  Wesley would make her feel better.  He always did.

She hurried into the parlor and saw Wesley sitting on the sofa with Ellen.  Neither of them looked terribly comfortable together or happy to be there.  Malinda was relieved.  She was afraid both of the brothers would fall for Ellen.  Ellen was just so….well…perfect, and Malinda was nothing compared to her sister.

She walked to where Ellen and Wesley were sitting together on the couch and immediately plopped down between them, wedging them apart.  Malinda glared at Wesley.  “I don’t like your brother as much as I like you.”  She knew she was frowning, but she didn’t care.  He needed to know his brother was rude.

Wesley put his arm around her shoulders and smiled.  “I’m glad to hear you say that.”

Malinda saw Ellen slip out of the room as she wrapped her arms around Wesley’s neck, initiating a kiss with him for the first time.  She pressed her lips to his, touching her tongue to his lips as he’d done with her on more than one occasion.  His lips parted for her, and she moved her tongue inside his mouth to touch his.  She needed to feel like she was special and wanted, and in Wesley’s arms, she never felt like she was anything less than the most beautiful woman in the world.

When she broke the kiss she rested her forehead against his shoulder.  “I don’t ever want to have to spend a night with Patrick again.” 

He laughed.  “I think Ellen feels the same way about me.”  He stroked her cheek.  “Do you think you could talk her into agreeing to marry Patrick tomorrow?  We could have a Saturday wedding.”

Malinda shrugged.  “I’m not sure if she’s ready to make a decision yet.”  She felt so safe with his arms around her.  He’d protect her from the world, wouldn’t he?  She wouldn’t have to worry about poverty as long as he lived.  She knew she wouldn’t.  Maybe she could make a decision….

After the men left for the night, she floated up the stairs in a cloud of happiness.  Maybe she could agree to marry him tomorrow if he’d be willing to put off the wedding for a month or two.  Or she could marry him and he could put off consummating the marriage for a while.  Surely he’d understand she wasn’t ready for that if she just talked to him about it.

She fell asleep with a smile on her lips.  She loved the idea of being married to Wesley, but not having sex with him.  It would be perfect.  He could have the cleaning and housework done just like he wanted, while she could have the time she needed to get used to the idea of intercourse. And they could spend long evenings on the sofa kissing and hugging. Of course he’d do that for her.  He cared about her, didn’t he?

*****

“I think that went just as we’d hoped,” Patrick told Wesley as they walked toward Wesley’s house.

“You sure made Malinda angry!  I don’t even want to know what you said to her.”  Wesley grinned at his brother.

Patrick laughed out loud.  “You should have seen the look on her face when I told her Ellen was the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Wesley laughed.  “Why did you lie to her?”

“I didn’t!”  Patrick walked into Wesley almost knocking him over.

“You really think she’s prettier than Malinda?” Wesley asked in surprise.

“Absolutely!  You don’t?”

Wesley shook his head.  “I’ve never seen a woman more beautiful than Malinda.”

“I guess you can believe that if it makes you stay away from Ellen.”

“They’re turning us into a couple of love-struck idiots.”

Patrick nodded.  “Yes, they are.  I don’t mind, though.  Ellen’s worth it.”

*****

First thing the next morning, Ellen cornered her again, demanding she make a decision.  If she hadn’t been so bossy about it, Malinda had planned to tell her she’d made one.  She’d been planning on telling her that she was going to marry Wesley.  She still wasn’t certain she was making the right decision, but she knew she couldn’t marry anyone else while she was in love with him.

Ellen’s bossiness made Malinda so angry she said she wasn’t making a decision until she was ready, though.  Malinda loved her sister, but her bossiness was her one contention with her.

After breakfast, they went for a walk to a park down the street that Patrick had walked Ellen to earlier in the week.  Malinda liked the looks of the small town.  Everything seemed peaceful.  At the park, she heard a mother call a little boy named Tommy and she smirked, wondering if it was the same boy Wesley had put in jail.

Soon after they arrived, Ellen left to go and help take care of a group of children across the park.  Malinda would have helped, but Ellen didn’t give her the choice, so she settled herself under the shade of a huge tree to enjoy a book.  She read several chapters before Ellen came back.

“Are you ready to go?” Ellen asked, standing in the shade of the large oak tree where Malinda was reading.  Ellen’s cheeks were flushed from running across the park to her, and Malinda wondered if her sister would ever stop running in public.  Malinda had always liked to run but at least she knew that it should only be done when there weren’t people watching you.

“Yes.  Did you have fun with the children?”  Malinda could see by her face that she did, but if she was talking about the kids, she wouldn’t be trying to force Malinda into a decision she’d already made.

“I had a wonderful time.”   Ellen grinned.  “I was holding this sweet baby for most of the time, and when the woman, Ida, came back, I called him a ‘he’.  I guess I probably should have checked down the front of her diaper, but I just assumed it was a boy.  The baby was bald.  I guess it never occurred to me that girls are born bald as well.”  She laughed at herself as they walked.

Malinda laughed.  “It never occurred to me either, so I guess we’re together in our ignorance of small babies.”  She’d never really thought of having a baby before, but she liked the idea of having a little Wesley.

Once they were back at the house, she went up to the spare room where she was sleeping and changed for dinner.  She loved dressing up for Wesley.  Seeing his eyes light up when she walked into a room made her day.

They had a good dinner, and afterward she went with Wesley into the parlor to talk to him.  Somehow, the talking never happened.  She had hoped she could get him to agree to marry right away, but to wait to consummate the marriage. But as soon as they sat together on the couch, their lips met and his arms were around her, and all thoughts of anything but him left her mind immediately.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him.  His hand skimmed up and down her side, much too close to her breast for comfort.  She could tell he wanted to touch it, but it wouldn’t be okay to let him do that, would it?

She was practically sitting in his lap when Ellen and Patrick came into the room.  She turned to her sister with a blank look, barely registering she was there.  “Hmmm?”

“Patrick and I have been talking, and we’ve made a decision.”  Ellen said, watching Malinda.

“What’s that?”  Ellen looked guilty and that meant only one thing.  They were going to go ahead with the wedding no matter what Malinda’s decision was.  The fact that she’d decided to go ahead with the wedding herself made no difference.  Ellen was betraying her. 

“We’re getting married tomorrow morning.  We’d like the two of you to be there with us.” 

Malinda glared at Ellen.  “What do you mean you decided?  I thought it was a decision for the four of us?”  What made Ellen think she had the right to make that kind of decision without her?

Ellen walked to one of the chairs across from the sofa and sat down.  “The fact is, I wouldn’t marry Wesley and Patrick wouldn’t marry you.  Whether you two get married or not doesn’t change the fact that Patrick and I will get married in the morning.”  She looked over at Wesley.  “I don’t mean to offend you.  You’ll make a wonderful brother to me.”

Malinda was furious.  She didn’t want to marry Patrick, but the fact was she’d come out there with all intentions of marrying him, and Ellen was betraying her.  “You can’t just announce to me you’re marrying him.  He’s my fiancé.”  She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her sister.

“No, he’s not.  He’s my fiancé.  You don’t have feelings for him, Malinda.  You care for Wesley.  There’s no need for you to be upset if I marry Patrick.”

Patrick looked at Malinda sympathetically.  “It’s true, Malinda.  Having spent time getting to know you both, I know that the only woman I have any desire to marry is Ellen.  I’m just not interested in you as anything more than a sister.”

Malinda refused to acknowledge Patrick and continued to glare at Ellen until the other couple got up and left the room.  She turned to Wesley.  “I’m sorry.”  It was only then she realized that he’d heard her little tirade.  What would he think of her?

Wesley stared at her for a moment.  “I thought Ellen was the one who was holding things up.  You don’t want to marry me?”  He looked hurt, and Malinda immediately felt terrible.

“Of course I want to marry you!”  She paused looking down at her hands, trying to find the best way to explain.  “I just wanted a little time to get to know you better.  I knew from the moment I met you I couldn’t marry Patrick.”  She didn’t add that she hadn’t been sure until the previous evening that she had known she could marry him.

Wesley nodded slowly.  “So are we going to get married in the morning as well?”

“I think so.  I’m pretty sure so.”  She closed her eyes for a moment.  “I’m confused.  Can I let you know in the morning if I’ll marry you tomorrow?”  Now he’d hate her.  She’d ruined everything between them.

He stood abruptly.  “Of course.  You can tell me tomorrow.  It’s not like it’s my life hanging in the balance, is it?  It’s just about you and only you.  Why would I care what your answer is?”

He stormed out of the house and she wanted to chase after him, but she just didn’t know what to say.  She put her head in her hands and cried.  Why did Ellen have to mess things up so badly?

She went straight upstairs to her bedroom, lying on the bed crying until she heard Ellen come up the stairs.  She debated for a moment if she wanted to talk to her sister right away or wait until she’d cooled off a bit.  Finally she stood and went to her sister’s room, knowing she couldn’t go to sleep until they’d talked it out.  She was much too angry.

After Ellen had explained her reasoning, she asked, “Are you going to be at my wedding tomorrow or not?”

“Of course, I’m going to be at your wedding.  I wouldn’t miss it.”  How could she not go to her only sister’s wedding?  No matter what had passed between them, Ellen was her sister and Malinda loved her.

“I’m happy to hear it.  For a while there I was certain you were going to ignore nineteen years of sisterhood over money.”  Ellen reached out and took Malinda’s hand.

Malinda shook her head, hoping she could make her sister understand it wasn’t about the money at all.  “It’s not just that.  I’m scared.  I care about Wesley.  I really do.  But I’m not sure that I’m ready to be anyone’s wife.”  Her eyes, still red from the tears she’d shed, met Ellen’s.

“I know.  I don’t think anyone is ever sure of that.  You just have to trust your heart and move on with your life.” 

“Aren’t you scared?”  Malinda’s eyes searched Ellen’s face, looking for some of the same fear she had inside her.

Ellen looked embarrassed.  “Sure, a little.  But I know Patrick well enough to know he’d never do anything to hurt me.  He cares about me.”

“And I know that about Wesley too, but I talked to Harriett about…well, marital relations.  She said the first time really hurts.”  But it was more than just what she’d said.  It was the look on her face.  Malinda could tell that Harriett had held something back from the conversation.  As if there were more to it that Malinda wasn’t allowed to know about.   “Aren’t you worried about the wedding night?”

“Obviously not as much as you are.  When Patrick touches me, I don’t want him to stop.  God wouldn’t have made the way to make children pleasurable for just men.  Besides, I’ve had friends who have married and they said only good things about the marriage bed.  I really don’t think we have anything to be afraid of.”

Malinda bit her lip, which she always did when she was thinking hard about something.  “Do you think if I married Wesley tomorrow he’d agree to wait for relations until I felt comfortable with it?” 

“I don’t think you should even ask that of him.  I think if you marry him, he has every right to expect a wedding night.” 

Malinda wondered if Ellen was right.  “Well, if I marry him and I’m not having relations with him, I’ll still be cooking and cleaning and doing all the other things he needs his wife to do.  I’ll just sleep in his spare bedroom.”  If only Ellen would agree with her it wasn’t a bad idea, she’d feel like she could do it.  She was too afraid to do anything else.

Ellen laughed.  “You wouldn’t like his spare bedroom.  Patrick says the mattress is lumpy and almost impossible to sleep on.”

Malinda was certain she could put up with a lumpy mattress better than letting a man do that to her.  “Well, I may talk to him about it in the morning before the wedding.  I decided to go in my wedding dress just in case I decide to marry him tomorrow as well.  It seems unfair that you and Patrick are marrying before Wesley and I are.”  She made a face at the thought.  How could their double wedding be turning into Ellen getting married while Malinda watched?

“That’s your decision, though.  Patrick and I decided we wanted to marry and left it at that.  You’re the one dragging your feet.”  Ellen looked like she wished she could take the words back as soon as she’d said them.

Malinda stood up.  “I’m sorry I was so mean to you about your decision to marry Patrick.  I know you care about him, but I know you care about me as well.”  How was she going to figure it all out?

Ellen smiled up at her sister.  “I’m really glad you’re going to be there when I marry Patrick.”

“How could I miss that?  Of course I’ll be there!”

Malinda lay in bed awake, staring at the ceiling most of the night.  How could she talk to Wesley about such an embarrassing subject without either blushing or making him angry?  There had to be a way.  There just had to.

Chapter Five

Malinda woke with a positive attitude the next morning.  She’d talk to Wesley about waiting to consummate the marriage, but either way, she was going to marry him that day.  She was pretty sure he’d wait because he obviously cared about her, but she was also sure she could handle it if he said no.  She just wanted a little longer if he’d agree to it.

She practically danced down the steps for breakfast, extremely excited about her wedding day.  As usual, Ellen had already eaten.  Alice said she was in the bathtub, so Malinda asked for a bath to be arranged for her as well.  She hated the idea of getting ready for her wedding without her sister beside her, but she knew Ellen was getting ready for her own wedding and she didn’t want to disturb her.

She’d finished her bath and was just brushing her hair dry when there was a knock at her door.  Wearing just her robe, she opened the door to see Ellen standing there, in her own robe, but her hair done perfectly.  She looked better than Malinda had ever seen her.  There was a young red-headed girl beside her.

“Malinda, this is Angela.  She’s just finished fixing my hair for me, and I thought maybe you’d like her to do yours as well.”

“Oh, I’d love that!”  She pulled the younger girl into her room with her, finding a chair and dragging it to the center of the room.  She sat down and smiled.  “I was afraid I’d have to try to do my hair myself, and for such an important day, I really wasn’t sure I could do a good job.  Thank you so much for helping me!”

Angela nodded.  “I’m happy to help,” she said with a soft voice with the musical lilt of an Irish accent.

Not good at talking to strangers the way Ellen was, she sat quietly wondering if she should be talking to the girl doing her hair or just sitting there letting her work her magic.  The girl was fast and efficient and seemed happy without talking, so Malinda sat and waited.

When she was done, she looked in the mirror over the dresser and saw her own face light up.  “It’s wonderful!  Thank you so much!”  Her hair had been arranged in a complicated mass of curls on top of her head.  She knew she’d never looked as good as she did at that moment.  “How did you learn to do this?”

Angela blushed with pleasure and shrugged.  “Mum would sometimes do hair for the ladies in town before she died.  I watched her, and sometimes practice on the other girls down at the orphanage.”

Malinda’s heart went out to her.  “I’ve lost both of my parents as well.  It’s hard, isn’t it?”  It would have been so much harder without Ellen beside her.  “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

Angela shook her head.  “I’m an only child.”  She indicated Malinda’s dress on the floor.  “Would you like some help putting it on?”

“Would you mind?  I’m all thumbs today.  It’s not every day a girl gets married.”

“Oh?  You’ll be marrying too?  I thought it was just Ellen getting married to Mr. Harris.”

Malinda smiled excitedly.  “I’m marrying the other Mr. Harris.  The sheriff.”  It was the first time she’d said the words aloud and they felt good on her tongue.  She was marrying Wesley, whom she loved.  If he’d agree.  She hoped she hadn’t made him too angry the night before.

“Ah, I didn’t realize that.  I thought I was fixing your hair for your sister’s wedding.”  Angela held the dress down for Malinda to step into and helped her bring it up over her shoulders.  “Your waist is so tiny you don’t even need a corset.”

Malinda grinned.  “Ellen says I should wear one anyway because it’s proper, but I don’t want to, so I don’t.  She doesn’t even notice most of the time.”

Angela giggled.  “Sometimes it’s fun to do things others don’t realize, isn’t it?”  She buttoned up the back of Malinda’s dress and then walked in a slow circle around her.  “You look wonderful.  Who did this?”  She pointed to a tiny flower embroidered into the collar of the dress. 

Malinda looked down to see what she was talking about.  “I did.” 

“You’re very talented.  You could make a good living with sewing skills in a mining town like this.”

Malinda looked at the younger girl in surprise.  “I could?”  She’d never thought of doing anything to help out with the income Wesley made, but she could easily do that.  The more money they brought in the easier life would be.  She wondered if it would bother Wesley if she did something like that.

“Yes, there are so many miners here who have to send away for shirts that don’t fit correctly.  A woman who could take some fabric and turn it into a shirt that fits well is needed around here.”  Angela put her things back into the bag she’d brought with her.  “I hope you and the sheriff are very happy together.”

Malinda smiled.  “I’m sure we will be.  He’s a wonderful man.”  She felt a little bit lighter at the thought of starting her own business, but had no idea how to go about such a thing.  Maybe once she’d gotten used to being a housewife, she could look into it.

Angela left with a slight wave, and Malinda went to the mirror to see the final effect of the hairstyle with her wedding dress.  She couldn’t help but smile.  Wesley was going to be pleased, she was sure.

When she got downstairs, she saw Ellen and Patrick talking softly.  Her sister looked so beautiful.  Malinda couldn’t help but be thrilled Ellen was marrying the man she loved.

She walked straight to Wesley and kissed his cheek.  They went out to the buggy and he helped her into the back as he had the first day they’d met.  She sat with him while Patrick drove to the chapel.  Normally they’d have walked, but it was too far in their wedding shoes. 

“I do want to marry you today, Wesley.”  She spoke softly, so the couple in the front wouldn’t be able to hear her.

He turned to her, his eyes searching hers.  “Are you sure?”  She nodded, and he hugged her close.  “I’m so glad.  I’ll be a good husband to you.”

“I know you will.”  She paused for a moment biting her bottom lip.  “I do have something I want to ask you, though.”  How to say it?

He raised an eyebrow.  “What’s that?” 

“Well, the main reason I’ve been waiting is I’m a little afraid of what will happen tonight.”  She blushed as she said the words, but determinedly plowed on, certain if she didn’t say it now she’d never find the courage.  “Would you be willing to hold off on the wedding night for a week or two until we get to know one another better?” 

“You’re serious?”

She nodded.  “Please?”

Wesley felt anger fill him.  He’d spent every waking moment dreaming of making love to the woman beside him since the moment he met her, and she was saying she didn’t want to share his bed?  But she still wanted to marry him?  “Yes, we’ll wait.  If you don’t want me touching you, we’ll wait forever.”  He stared out the side of the carriage and refused to say another word.

“Wesley, you’re taking it wrong.  I do like it when you touch me.  I love it when you touch me.  I’m just afraid of what the wedding night will be like.  Please don’t be angry.”  Malinda was panicked that she’d made him so angry he wouldn’t be able to forgive her, and she didn’t want that.  She just wanted a week or two.  Was that so bad?

He helped her down from the buggy and looked at Patrick, his eyes flat and angry.  “We’ll be getting married today, too.”

Malinda looked at Ellen who smiled at her happily.  Malinda wanted to cry.  She was marrying the man she loved, but she’d angered him so much, he couldn’t even look at her.

The wedding passed in a blur.  She and Ellen walked down the aisle together holding each other’s arms, but when she got to the front and stood beside Wesley, his stiff posture beside her had her shaking with fear.  How could she have messed up so badly and made him that angry?  Just twenty four hours ago, she’d been sure he’d do anything for her, and now he was so angry he wouldn’t look at her.  What had she done?

When the preacher told Wesley and Patrick to kiss their brides, Wesley planted a brief, stiff kiss on her lips.  There was no tenderness at all.  She wanted to go back in time by an hour and take back the words she’d said to him, but it was too late.  Why hadn’t she listened to Ellen?  Why was Ellen always right about everything?

After the wedding, they went back to Patrick’s house for a wedding lunch.  Malinda was overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who had gone to the wedding and the lunch afterward.  She sat beside Wesley looking down the enormous table and searching for faces she knew.  Ellen and Patrick were the only people she recognized.   She understood Wesley and Patrick had friends in this town they’d lived in for years, but it felt strange to have so many people she didn’t know at her wedding.

She needed to talk to Wesley alone, but she didn’t know how to do that when the house was so full of people.  Of course, she’d be going home with him in a few hours, but was that soon enough?  She felt like she needed to clear the air immediately.  She didn’t want him to stay angry with her.

She spent the whole time sitting quietly trying to think up ways she could get him to leave with her so they could talk instead of participating in the conversation around them.  Malinda could tell Wesley was well liked, and she wished she had just agreed to marry him and left it at that.  She needed to tell him she was willing to just consummate now.  She’d get over her fears.  She had to.  He’d forgive her if she told him she was sorry and was willing, wouldn’t he?

Finally the long lunch was over, and she expected everyone to leave, and then she’d talk to him.  But no one really left.  They all stood around talking.  As the crowd thinned, Alice pulled her into the kitchen and gave her a big basket with a cloth over the top.  “There’s enough food in there for your dinner tonight and hopefully for your meals tomorrow.  You’ll be on your own on Monday, but this will get you started.”

Malinda threw her arms around the sweet cook, who was really more Ellen’s friend than hers and cried on her shoulder.  “Thank you so much.  I really needed this.  I don’t know how to thank you for your kindness.” 

Alice pulled away and used a clean corner of her apron to dry Malinda’s tears.  “This is about more than just the basket of food.”

Malinda nodded.  “I said something stupid and I can’t take it back.  He’s mad at me.”  She couldn’t bring herself to tell Alice what she’d said, though.  How could she have been so stupid?

Alice smiled, patting Malinda on the shoulder.  “When you first marry you’ll find a lot of stupid things are said, and you both just have to get past them.  He’ll be happy and you’ll be happy, and everything will work out okay for you both.”

Malinda sniffled, but carried the basket out to the dining room.  The only people left were Wesley, Patrick and Ellen.  She walked over and stood calmly next to Wesley, taking his arm in her hand and squeezing it, trying to convey she was sorry without words.  He pulled his arm away and turned to Patrick, thanking him for including them in the wedding lunch.

When Ellen came out of the kitchen, she took one look at Malinda’s miserable face and asked, “Do you need some help packing your things, Malinda?” 

Malinda took her sister’s hand and led her up the stairs.  “He’s mad at me,” Malinda told her as soon as they’d shut the door.

“I can see that.  What happened between you two?”  Ellen looked concerned.

“He’s mad that I suggested we wait to have our wedding night.”  Malinda hated admitting she hadn’t taken her sister’s advice and nothing had turned out right.  She turned to begin packing her things into the trunk they’d brought with them from Massachusetts.

“Well, of course he is!  I told you not to do that.  What exactly did he say?”  Ellen looked angry as she asked the question. 

Malinda tried not to cry, but could feel the tears running down her cheeks. “I’d rather not even say.  He was really ugly about it.”  She shook her head.  There was no way she was going to tell Ellen what Wesley had said.  It was humiliating enough to tell her sister she’d been right.

“You need to do what you can to fix the situation as soon as you get to his house.”

Malinda shrugged, but didn’t say anything.  She already knew she needed to fix things.  Did Ellen think she was a child?

Ellen turned to her before opening the door.  “Are you going to be okay?”

“Sure.”  Malinda knew she wouldn’t be okay unless she could get Wesley to forgive her, but she didn’t say that.  It was her own fault he was mad in the first place.

After the men left with the trunk, Ellen turned to Malinda.  “We’ve never lived apart.  This is going to be strange.  We need to make sure we see each other often.”

Stifling a sob, Malinda said, “I’m going to miss you so much!”  Please don’t make me go and live with my angry husband!

“You’ll only live a fifteen minute walk away.  We can see each other every day if we want to.”

*****

As soon as the women went up the stairs, Patrick turned to Wesley.  “What happened between you two?”

Wesley shrugged, not wanting to admit that his wife didn’t want him to touch her.  “No idea what you’re talking about.”

Patrick grabbed Wesley’s arm before he could turn away.  “You do know what I’m talking about.  What’s going on?”

Wesley sighed.  “She asked if she could have some time before we consummate the marriage.  Apparently my touch makes her dirty.”

Patrick raised an eyebrow.  “Did she say your touch makes her dirty?”

Wesley shook his head.  “No, she said she wanted time to get to know me better first.”

“We have only known them for a few days.”

“Does that mean you’re going upstairs and not consummating your marriage?” Wesley asked with fire in his eyes.

“Well, no, but I can understand where she’s coming from.”

“Well, I can’t!  Why would she even agree to marry me if she didn’t want me touching her?”

Patrick shook his head.  “She’s been asking for more time all along.  She’s afraid for some reason.  Talk to her.”

Wesley glared up the stairs in the direction his new wife had disappeared to.  “No way.  I’m not touching the woman until she comes to me on her knees begging.”

Patrick sighed.  “You’re both too headstrong.  Don’t say anything you’ll regret, little brother.”

Ellen called for them to come get the trunk and carry it down the stairs before Wesley could respond.

Once they were finished, Malinda followed Wesley out to the buggy and he helped her up.  Before, his hand would have lingered on her arm, but instead he snatched his hand away as soon as she was seated as if touching her was abhorrent to him.  “I’ll return the horse and buggy tomorrow.”  It was obvious to Malinda that he was staring straight ahead and refusing to look at his brother because it would mean he would also be looking at Malinda.

As they drove down the street, Malinda immediately tried to make things right.  “I’m sorry for what I said earlier.  If you want, we can consummate the marriage tonight.”

“So, since it made me angry that you didn’t want me touching you, you’re willing to sacrifice yourself?  I don’t think so.  The mattress in the spare room is lumpy, but it’s yours for the foreseeable future.”  He stopped in front of a small wooden house not far from Patrick’s house.  Walking around, he helped her down and picked up the trunk putting it on his shoulder.  “Excuse me.”

She hurried in front of him and opened the front door so he could carry the trunk in.  He took it to a small room at the back of the house.  She ran back out to the buggy and got the basket of food Alice had packed and put it in the kitchen.  She was thankful the woman had thought of it, because she had no idea what to fix to eat otherwise.

While Wesley put the horses and buggy away, she changed into a work dress and put on an apron that covered the entire front of her dress.  She set out the food Alice had sent with them, since it was already dinner time. 

During the meal, she tried again to convince him of how sorry she was and that she would happily spend the night in his bed with him, but he wouldn’t hear it.  Once supper was over, he went into the small parlor that consisted of a worn looking sofa and an arm chair.  He sat down on the sofa and read the paper while she did the dishes. 

When she was finished, she sat beside him in the parlor.  Maybe she could get him to kiss her and forget about what she’d said.  Just as she moved to snuggle into his side, he glared at her and moved to the chair.  He wouldn’t even sit with her.  She stood and ran from the room with tears streaming down her face.  In her bedroom, she lay down on the bed and cried herself to sleep.

Wesley watched her go and had to force himself to remain in his chair.  He wanted to follow her and apologize for being so surly, but he couldn’t.  Why was she afraid of him touching her?  He’d been touching her and kissing her since she’d gotten off the train.  Making love was a natural thing she should have been happy they’d be able to do now they were together again, but instead she wanted to spend the long night alone in his lumpy spare bed. 

He stood and went to his front porch staring up at the stars.  Their marriage had not started well.  He needed to find a way past his anger with her, but at that moment, he was afraid if he touched her, he’d do so in anger and that wasn’t the way he wanted to touch his wife.

He was certain Sunday would be better.  It had to be, didn’t it?

*****

Wesley’s anger was still going strong as they walked to church on Sunday.  When Malinda saw Ellen, she wanted to run into her sister’s arms.  Wesley saw her start in Ellen’s direction, and took hold of her arm.  “You don’t need to spend all your time with her now.  You’re a married woman.”

Malinda stared up at him in dismay.  “But she’s my sister.  You’re not going to keep me from her, are you?”  What would she do if he kept her from the only family she had ever known because he was angry with her?  She’d have to head straight back to Beckham.

He shook his head.  “I just want you to take some time to get to know some of the other ladies here at the church.  There are some that are more of our social standing.”

“Social standing?  I’m not going to be allowed to spend all my time with my sister because she’s of a different social standing?”  He couldn’t mean that, could he?

“You will make other friends.  You can still see her all you want, but you’ll at least try to make friends with other women at church today.”  He wasn’t sure why he was insisting she make other friends, but he really thought it would be good for her.  She seemed to want to spend all her time with her sister and that wasn’t healthy.  She needed other friends as well. 

Patrick and Ellen would be going to the restaurant and doing a lot of things that he and Malinda wouldn’t be able to afford to do.  Malinda was going to have to get used to being a sheriff’s wife and having the limited salary that came with being his wife.  She couldn’t do that if she spent all of her time with her sister and his brother.  They didn’t have any budgetary limits.

He watched as Malinda stood quietly beside him, not approaching other women.  Did she think she was too good for the women in their church?

One of the older women walked over and held out her hand to introduce herself.  “I’m Mary Pickering.”

Malinda smiled and shook the woman’s hand.  “I’m Malinda  ….er Harris.”  She stumbled over the last name, realizing it was the first time she’d used it in conjunction with her own name.

She smiled at Wesley, and he put his hand in the small of her back.  Why did she seem to need courage to talk to others?

“I’m part of the women’s ministry here and we try to make all the new women feel welcome.”  She paused as she smiled at Malinda.  “Would you care to come to my house for tea one day this week?  I could introduce you to the other women.”

Malinda bit back the automatic ‘no’ that threatened her lips.  She didn’t want to agree, but with Wesley standing watching, she knew he’d be angry if she didn’t.  “Yes, that would be nice.”  She could handle an afternoon with strangers.  She’d have to.

“Why don’t we make it Friday afternoon?  That will give you time to get settled into your new home.”

“I don’t know how to get there.”  She knew she was grasping at straws and she wouldn’t be able to get out of going, but she had to try.

Mary laughed.  “The sheriff can draw you a map, I’m sure.  Why don’t you come around one?  That gives all the ladies time to get home afterward and get supper cooked.”

“I’ll be there,” Malinda promised, regretting it immediately.  Maybe she could find a way to send word she was sick on Friday morning.   She loathed the idea of meeting so many new women at once because it was hard for her to meet new people.  She was great one on one if she’d met them before, but the first time she met someone, she had no idea what to say.  In groups, she never felt like she had the right words.

After church, they went home and she heated up some of the food Alice had sent over.  She had yet to cook a full meal for him herself, and she was dreading the time when she’d have to.

Wesley didn’t seem as angry, so after lunch, she moved to sit by him on the sofa again.  He looked at her, his eyes filled with hurt.  “What exactly do you want from me, Malinda?”

She bit her lip, trying to figure out how to answer.  “I want you to forgive me more than anything.  I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.  I’d take back the entire conversation if I could.”  She would do anything to make things right between them if she just had an idea what the right thing would be.

“But you meant you didn’t want to consummate the marriage right away, right?”

She nodded sadly.  “I did.  I shouldn’t have, but I did.  Please, I’m willing to make it right.  Just tell me what to do.”

He folded his newspaper, put it on the table and stood up.  “I need to take Patrick’s horses and buggy back.  I’ll be home later.”

Malinda watched him go, wondering how she could make what she’d done right.  He was a good man, and she wanted to have a good marriage with him.  How could she make it happen, though?  How long would he be angry with her?

Chapter Six

Malinda woke up as early as she could on Monday morning.  She’d never been an early riser like Ellen, but she was determined to make her first week as a married woman a good one.  She dressed quickly in the early morning light and stumbled into the kitchen.  The only breakfast foods she knew how to make were scrambled eggs and pancakes, so she quickly started a fire in the stove and set the frying pan on it, before whipping several eggs with milk.  There were fresh eggs and milk on the work table, though she wasn’t sure where they’d come from.  Did they have egg and milk delivery here?

She made a pot of coffee while the eggs and toast were cooking, hoping that he was a coffee drinker.  She really had no idea of many of his personal habits, because they’d known each other for such a short period of time.

She put six slices of bread into the oven to toast while she watched over the eggs.   They came out fluffy and perfect, and she was buttering the toast when Wesley came in from outside.  She poured him a cup of coffee and set it on the table for him.  Soon after, she had both plates with eggs and toast on the table and sank into the chair opposite him.  She was pleased with how the first meal she’d cooked for him had come out.

“Will you come home for lunch?” she asked softly as he was chewing his first bite of eggs.  She couldn’t decide if she wanted him home or not.  If he came home, she’d have to cook for him and she had no idea what she’d fix.  If he didn’t, she’d be home alone in the big house all day.

“I plan on it.  I’ll go to the mercantile and get you a chicken to fry before I go to work this morning.  Fried chicken is one of my favorite foods.” 

“I can get it myself if you need me to.”  She was willing to do anything to make his life easier and make him happy with her.

He shook his head.  “I have time, and I don’t think you’ve been to the mercantile yet.  It would be good if you could go out and explore town a little in the afternoons so you learn where everything is quickly.  It’s a small town, so it should be easy to do.”

“I’ll do that.”  Whether she wanted to or not, if it would make him happy, she would do it.

He finished his breakfast and pushed away from the table.  “Breakfast was good.”  He didn’t say another word as he put his hat on his head and left the house. 

Within twenty minutes he was back with a whole chicken.  “Lunch” was all he said before he put it on the work table and left for work for the day.

He hadn’t told her what time to have it ready, so she guessed noon would work.  Now, how to cook a chicken?  She’d helped Ellen do it more times than she could count, but never having done it herself, she wasn’t sure exactly what spices to use or even how to cut up the chicken.  She stared down at it for a minute.  What would he think if he came home to a raw chicken still lying on the work counter while she was off reading a book?

She was suddenly inspired.  Maybe there were cookbooks somewhere.  She looked through every corner of the kitchen and rushed down the hall to the bedrooms.  There were no books at all, let alone any cookbooks.  Well, now what could she do?  She stood for a moment staring at the chicken again, wishing she’d paid more attention when Ellen was cooking.

There was a knock at the front door, so Malinda hurried to open it.  Please let it be someone who can cook fried chicken. When she saw Ellen standing on her doorstep, she grabbed her arm and pulled her inside.  “I’m so glad you’re here!”  She threw her arms around her older sister.  “He wants me to make fried chicken for lunch, and I have no clue how to fry a chicken.  You always did it at home.”  She looked at Ellen expectantly.

“It’s good to be needed for something!”  Ellen wrinkled her nose as she looked around the kitchen.  It was just then that Malinda realized she hadn’t done the breakfast dishes yet.  For that matter, there were still a few dishes from the previous evening she’d put in the sink but never washed.  “We need to start by getting the kitchen cleaned.  I’ll wash and you dry.  So how are things going?”

“He hates me.  I told him I was sorry I asked for time before we consummated the marriage, and he said if he was that repulsive to me, then he didn’t want to touch me.”  She wrinkled her nose in distaste at the food stuck to the plates from dinner the night before.  She really should have done them before going to bed.

“Well, let’s make him the best lunch he’s ever eaten, and you can beg his forgiveness.”

Malinda eyed her sister.  She knew she’d made a mistake, but she didn’t need her to rub it in.  “You think it’s all my fault, don’t you!”  It was all her fault, but her sister definitely didn’t need to be telling her that!  Shouldn’t she be on my side all the time?

Once they were done with the dishes, Ellen showed her how to cut up the chicken and season it.  “Fried chicken is really very simple.  It’s a flour based coating and we’ll just add a few spices to season it.  Are you going to make potatoes with it?”

Malinda hadn’t thought of that.  “I have to make something with it?”  How could she be so stupid?  She knew they had to make something with it.  What was wrong with her?

“Where have you been all these years while we cooked together?  Have we ever served only meat for a meal with no side dishes?”

Malinda wanted to throw something at Ellen, but was afraid her sister would leave and stop helping her.  “I’ve been doing whatever you told me to do.  I’ve never really planned a meal or done it on my own.  You were always there telling me what to do every single step of the way.”  Did Ellen really think she knew how to cook and be the perfect homemaker?

“I’m sorry.  I should have made sure you knew how to do more things around the house.”

Malinda shrugged.  “I’ll make mashed potatoes.  I know how to do that.”  If she could just find the potatoes.  She looked around vaguely.

“Do you have any vegetables in the cellar?”

Malinda hadn’t considered there must be a cellar somewhere.  “Cellar?” 

“I’ll go look.  Where are the potatoes?” 

“I don’t know!”  She was starting to panic now.  Her husband would hate her if she didn’t have his lunch ready when he got home.

“They’re probably in the cellar too.  Let’s go down and see what’s there.”   Ellen looked under a rug and pointed to the trap door.  “Grab a lantern.”

Malinda found a lantern and lit it before descending the stairs with Ellen. “Good.  You have a lot of food down here.  Alice told me she sent canned goods home with Wesley every fall and wasn’t certain if he’d eaten them.”

Malinda looked at the shelves lining the walls.  They were filled with jars full of different fruits and vegetables.  She saw Ellen remove some potatoes from a bin. “This will be enough for just the two of you,” Ellen said as she filled the skirt of her borrowed apron with potatoes.

Ellen walked Malinda through frying the chicken, and Malinda took careful notes on a piece of paper she’d set next to the stove. 

While she fried the chicken, Ellen made the potatoes and cooked a jar of green beans.  When she was finished with her part, Ellen disappeared down the hallway.  Malinda was removing the last piece of chicken from the frying pan when Ellen came in.   “Now all you need to do is mash the potatoes and make some gravy.”

Malinda felt her heart sink.  Ellen had always made the gravy like everything else.  “Gravy?”  She knew she sounded like an idiot, but she didn’t even know how to make gravy.

Under Ellen’s tutelage, she managed a simple gravy.  “Now you have a feast.” Ellen poured the prepared gravy into a bowl.  “I’m going to go home now.  You make things right with your husband.  Make sure he knows that you care about him.  It’s important.”

“Will you come back after lunch?”  Malinda was nervous about having to cook dinner.  “Say around two?  I might need more help.”  Her eyes pled with Ellen to take pity on her and help her after lunch.

Ellen nodded.  “I’d be happy to, but only to show you how to do things.  Neither of our husbands will be happy if I come over here every day to cook and clean when you’re supposed to be doing it.”

While she waited for Wesley to come home, Malinda wandered through the house and looked at the work Ellen had done.  Both of the beds were made neatly and the cushions on the sofa had been fluffed.  Malinda got an old rag and dusted the furniture in the parlor before sweeping the wood floors throughout the house. 

Wesley came in at half past twelve and went straight to the kitchen to eat.  Malinda hurried in to pull the food out of the oven where it had been warming and set it on the table.  “How was your morning?” she asked, hoping to start a conversation.

“Pretty quiet.  Not much happening in town, but it’s a good thing when the sheriff doesn’t have a lot to do.”

Malinda smiled.  “Just don’t get shot, and I’ll stay happy.”

“Chicken’s good,” he told her.  “I thought you said you couldn’t cook?”

“I’m learning as fast as I can.”  She wondered if she should admit to the help she’d received, but decided not to lie to him.  “Ellen helped.”

He smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”

He left immediately after lunch without telling her what to make for supper.  She quickly washed the dishes, missing Ellen.  Washing dishes was a task they had done together from the time Malinda was small.  Even before their mother had died, the task of drying the dishes had been hers, and she’d always enjoyed working alongside Ellen to do it.

When Ellen got back, she showed Malinda how to make a simple stew out of salt pork, potatoes and carrots.  “Just bake some bread and a dessert to go with it, and you’re set for the night.”  Ellen eyed Malinda.  “Are you going to make it right?”

Malinda shrugged.  “As soon as I figure out how.  Talking to him doesn’t work.  I tried sitting beside him on the couch, but he got up and moved.  I don’t know how to get his attention.”  She could probably take all her clothes off and dance naked in front of him, but somehow she couldn’t see herself doing that.

Ellen thought about it for a minute.  “Well you need to think of something.  It won’t be any fun to be married to brothers if you two are fighting all the time.”

Malinda sighed, looking down at the floor.  “I know.  I’ll do my best.”  She hated fighting with her husband.  Why couldn’t she be the good wife Ellen was?

Ellen kissed her sister’s cheek on her way out the door.  “That’s all anyone asks.  I’ll be back after breakfast tomorrow.”

Malinda spent the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen baking bread and making a cherry pie from the fruit on the shelves in the cellar. 

When Wesley got home, he took a deep sniff of the air.  “Something smells good!”

“I like to call that something supper.”  Malinda walked to Wesley and kissed his cheek.  “I missed you today.”  She hadn’t meant to say that to him, but the words just spilled out.

He gave her a surprised look before sitting down.  Malinda served the stew and fresh bread and butter.  The pie was sitting on the work table, cooling. 

After they’d eaten dessert, she pushed him toward the parlor.  “I’ll get the dishes done and then I’ll join you.”  All day she’d done her best to think of a plan to get his undivided attention, and she thought she finally had one.

Once the dishes were done, she walked into the parlor and saw that he’d chosen the arm chair to sit in, probably because he didn’t want her beside him again.  She took the paper from him and sat in his lap before he had time to protest.   After pressing quick kisses over his face, she pressed her mouth to his, kissing him passionately as he’d taught her.  Her hands were on his shoulders, rubbing them through his shirt. 

He kissed her back, but continued to eye her warily as if trying to figure out what she was up to.  Her fingers went to the buttons of his shirt, and slowly slipped them through the holes one by one.  She didn’t want to have to invite herself into his bed, and this was the best way she could think of to show him she was interested in making their marriage a real one.

Once his shirt was unbuttoned, she spread it wide, her hands sinking into the hair she found there.  “I like touching you,” she whispered, meaning it with all her heart.  She’d never disliked touching him, no matter how fearful she was of what would come after.

“Do you like it when I touch you?” he asked.

Malinda nodded, her eyes never leaving his. 

“Does this mean you want to be my wife?” 

She nodded, blushing.  “I do.  I’m very sorry I ever said otherwise.”  Her hands were trembling as he set her on her feet and led her from the room.

Her hand was in his as he pulled her down the hallway and into the first bedroom, which was on the left.  He closed the door behind them and his fingers automatically went to the front of her dress, unbuttoning the buttons he found there.  Within moments, she was standing in front of him in just her petticoats.  His fingers found her nipple through the linen fabric and teased it to a point. 

“You have a beautiful body,” he whispered.

“So do you.”  Her fingers again tangled in his chest hair. 

He shrugged out of his shirt and dropped it to the floor, and then lowered the straps of her petticoat from her shoulders.  Once she was naked, he lifted her and laid her on the side of the bed, coming down beside her.  She could see he still had his slacks on and her nervousness faded away.

He immediately began raining kisses across her face and chest, kissing her everywhere.  When his mouth dipped and he pulled her nipple between his lips, she arched her back and cried out.  How could she have been so afraid of something that felt so good?

His mouth traveled up over her chest and back to her mouth, while one hand kept her damp nipple aroused.  His other hand caught his weight as he lay on his side beside her.  His tongue thrust into her mouth to mate with hers, his hand stroking down her side and into the small mound of curls shielding her sex. 

Wesley stroked his hand down between her legs and traced her inner thighs before traveling up to her core.  One finger went to her nub, while another slowly slid inside her.  She cried out against his mouth, suddenly afraid what they were doing was wrong.  Was it okay for him to do that? 

She pushed against his shoulders.  “Wait!”

His breathing was heavy when he lifted his head, staring into her eyes.  He deliberately moved his finger in and out as he watched the passion flare in her eyes.  “What’s wrong?  You don’t like it?”  He almost laughed as he asked the question, because there was no doubt by her actions that she liked it a great deal. 

“I do like it, but that’s not what you’re supposed to put in me.  Are you sure it’s okay to put your finger there?”  She blushed as she asked the question, hoping he would tell her what he was doing was perfectly acceptable because she didn’t want him to stop.

He smiled and his face lit up with amusement at her question.  “If you like it and I like it, then it’s fine, because we’re married.”

“Are you sure?”  She loved how he was making her feel as his finger slowly moved in and out of her body, but she didn’t want to do anything that would be wrong in any way.

“I’m positive.  Just enjoy it, baby.”  His lips drifted back down to hers, his tongue once again entering her mouth, while his finger sped up the rhythm, plunging in and out of her quickly.

Her fingers dug into his bare shoulders as she held on while she waited for whatever was building inside her to happen.  She didn’t know what she was waiting for.  Harriett hadn’t explained that part, but she knew it was something good.  Something she wanted.

Finally she burst, crying out her pleasure at the sensations washing through her body.  How could something that felt this good be the thing she’d been so afraid of?

He stood beside the bed, and unfastened his belt.  She couldn’t see him in the dark, but she could tell what he was doing by the rustling sounds.  She heard his pants drop to the floor, and then the bed dipped from the other side as he climbed in beside her.  His hands stroked over her body and his mouth went again to her nipple, the other one this time, stroking it with his tongue.

“I want you,” he whispered against her breast.  After a moment, he lifted his head and stared into her eyes in the now dark room.  “I want to make you my wife.”

She nodded, the fear rushing at her again.  This time it wouldn’t be his finger inside her.  Would she be able to take the pain?  “I want you to, but I’m scared.”

“I’ll be as careful as I can be,” he whispered before he rolled atop her and his legs went between hers.  His hand reached down to guide his member between her legs and to her entrance.  He pushed against her and she held onto his shoulders. clutching them hard, afraid of what was about to happen.  She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the pain.

He moved into her slowly, being certain to take his time and not hurt her.  He groaned as he felt her body clenched tightly around him.   “I’m sorry,” he whispered as he thrust past her maidenhead and pressed his lips to hers. 

She let out a gasp of pain against his lips and then lay still, moving slightly beneath him as she got used to the feeling of fullness inside her.  She’d had no idea she hadn’t felt complete before that moment, but having him inside her made her feel like a part of her had been missing her entire life.  Yes, there had been a slight pain, but it was gone almost immediately.  It wasn’t nearly as bad as she’d expected it to be.

He started to slowly move in and out, and she raised her hips to meet him, wanting him inside her.  Her arms wrapped around him just as her legs wrapped around his hips.  “It feels so good,” she mumbled.  Ellen should have told her it felt wonderful.

“Thank God,” he whispered, speeding up the pace.  “It may not happen for you this first time, but if it doesn’t, we’ll try again.”

“What may not happen?”  She was surprised at how breathless her voice sounded.  She was winded, but not even certain why. 

His thrusts were fast and strong now, driving into her with a quick and steady rhythm.  Suddenly he cried out, arching and moving into her one last time.  She lay beneath him, aware that she hadn’t felt as good as she had with his finger, but she’d still felt wonderful.    He had buried his face in her neck, and she stroked his shoulders, letting him know without words that he’d made her feel good.

After what seemed like hours, he rolled off of her and pulled her to his side, her head pillowed on his shoulder.  “Thank you.”  He brushed a sweet kiss across her forehead.

She looked at him in surprise.  “Why are you thanking me?”

“Because you were still frightened, but you let me make love to you anyway.”  He kissed the top of her head, hugging her tightly to him.

“You could tell?”  She had wanted to hide it better than that.

He laughed.  “You were shaking like a leaf.  Of course I could tell.  And you told me you were afraid.”  His hands were still moving against her back, a constant reminder that he had the right to touch her anytime he wanted.  “Will you be frightened next time?”

She shook her head, her hair tickling his shoulder.  “How could I be frightened of something that feels so good?”  She felt silly having been so afraid of it before.  She needed to write to Harriett and tell her it didn’t always hurt.  Of course, she wasn’t sure she could write that to anyone, even Harriett.

He smiled, pulling her even closer to his side.  “Good, because I want that to happen between us often.”

She sighed contentedly.  “So do I.”  She yawned and snuggled happily into his side.  “I’m tired.”  Her eyes drifted closed, her head pillowed on his arm.

“Me too.”  His closed his eyes even as his hands continued to stroke her.  “Morning can’t come soon enough.”

“Why’s that?” she asked only half awake.

“So we can do this again in the morning light.”

She smiled.  “Sounds like a good plan to me.”

*****

Malinda woke with a smile on her lips.  She didn’t know what was making her happy, but she knew she was happier than she’d been for a long time.  She felt something pulling her hair and she reached out to tug her hair away from whatever it was, and realized it was Wesley’s shoulder. 

He was still asleep, facing her on his side in the bed.  She stared at him openly in a way she’d never been able to look at him before, because she always knew he was watching.  She reached out a finger and traced his features, his nose, his eyes, his mouth.  How could she have been afraid of the glorious pleasure she’d felt the previous night under his hands and body?  She was certain she’d made the right choice for her heart and body when she’d married Wesley.  She just hoped she’d made the right choice for her fears.

His eyes blinked awake and he saw her lying in the morning light, watching him.  “G’morning.”

She brushed her lips across his, enjoying the feel of his morning stubble on her chin.  “Good morning.”

“Been awake long?”

She shrugged.  “Just for a minute or two.  I love watching you sleep.”  She trailed her fingers along the side of his face. 

He laughed.  “I can’t imagine what you’d enjoy about that.”

“When your face is that relaxed, you look like a little boy.”  She grinned at him, wondering if he’d like the comparison.

His hand came up to cup her cheek.  “A little boy?  Are you sure?”

She nodded with a grin.  “Positive.”  Her thumb rubbed along his bottom lip, noticing it was swollen.  She wondered if hers looked the same.

He pulled her up against him and she felt his erection pushing against her.  “Would a little boy touch you this way?”

She made a face, rubbing his shoulders.  “I hope not.  But I’m glad you are!” 

He laughed and pushed her to her back, his hands roaming up and down the body that he now knew as well as his own.  “That’s a good thing, because I’m not planning on stopping anytime soon.”

*****

She couldn’t quit grinning as she fixed breakfast, thrilled that he was no longer angry with her and that marital relations weren’t nearly as bad as she’d worried they would be. 

Ellen had explained how to make French toast the previous day, so she tried it for the first time.  She’d certainly eaten it enough to know how it should look and taste, and after understanding the basics of how to do it, she was ready to give it a try.  She found some maple syrup in the cellar, and brought that up along with the tiny bit of butter that was left.  She would have to get Ellen to teach her to churn butter, she thought.  She knew how to churn it, but she was uncertain about what exactly went into it.  Ellen wouldn’t mind.

Somehow the act of pleasing her husband in bed made her feel a lot more confident about her homemaking skills.  It was as if knowing how to please him one way made her feel like she could please him in every way.

When he sat down for breakfast, she slipped his plate onto the table in front of him and put her own down.  After he’d said a prayer for them, they ate.  She was surprised at how well breakfast had come out and enjoyed seeing his eyes light up at the first bite.  “This is really good.”

“Thank you.”   She couldn’t keep her eyes off his face, so different now that he’d shaved.  “Are you coming home for lunch today?”  There were leftovers from the night before she could warm up. 

He smiled.  “I’ll come home for lunch every day, if you’d like.”

“I’d love that.  I’ll make sure I have something ready for you around noon.” 

He took her hand in his and squeezed it tightly.  “Being married to you is going to be just as wonderful as I’d imagined it would be.”

She smiled.  “I think so, too.  I’m sorry I was such a baby about things and got us off to such a bad start.”  She hoped things were completely better between them, but he still seemed to be hesitant.  She couldn’t blame him, though.  She’d been the one to mess things up from the start.

He shook his head.  “I understand you were afraid.  I just wish you’d have trusted me from the very beginning.”

“I did, but I didn’t.  I couldn’t imagine you ever hurting me, but I had some preconceived notions.”  She stared down at her plate wishing things were different between them.

He finished his breakfast and stood up, bending down to kiss her softly.  “I’ll see you for lunch.”  He grabbed his hat from the hook by the kitchen door and left for the morning. 

She immediately jumped out of her chair and got the hot water ready for the breakfast dishes and made the bed.  She didn’t want Ellen seeing the house like she had the previous morning.  From that moment on, she would be the best wife anyone had ever seen.

Chapter Seven

Malinda followed Wesley’s directions exactly as she walked to Mary Pickering’s house on Friday afternoon.  She was so nervous, she’d written a letter to Mrs. Pickering claiming to be ill before tearing it up and throwing it into the fire.  It was important to Wesley that she make friends other than Ellen in town, so she was going to do it no matter how hard it was for her.

She stopped in front of the medium-sized wood house which had been freshly painted white.  There were several flower beds in the front of the house, making it very welcoming.  After taking several deep breaths for courage, Malinda knocked on the door, waiting patiently for someone to come.  She hoped no one was home, but knew she was being silly.  She didn’t really want someone to invite her over and then not be home when she got there.

After a moment, Mrs. Pickering came to the door and opened it wide.  “Mrs. Harris, come in!  None of the other ladies are here yet, but they should be any moment.” 

“Thank you for having me.”  Malinda stepped inside and looked around the house, admiring the way it had been decorated.  Mrs. Pickering didn’t have the kind of décor she’d admired at Harriett’s house, or even at Patrick’s house, but it was still very tastefully done.  It seemed much homier than the other houses.  The curtains were made of a pretty blue gingham cloth, and the pillows on the sofa matched.  Looking around, Malinda saw several things she would like to duplicate in her own home if Wesley didn’t mind.

“I thought we’d sit in here,” Mrs. Pickering told her.  “I only invited two other ladies because you seemed a little shy in church on Sunday.  Is that all right?”  Mrs. Pickering remained standing while she invited Malinda to take a seat on the sofa.

Malinda nodded.  “That’s perfect.”  She looked down at her hands for a moment.  “I do have trouble meeting new people.  I’m okay one on one, but a big group at once is hard for me.”  She smiled at the older woman, thankful she’d been so attuned to her feelings that she had only invited two people.

“I thought so.  Excuse me.”  Mrs. Pickering hurried from the room at the sound of a knock on the door.

She led two other women into the room, both of them around Malinda’s age.  Malinda breathed a sigh of relief that she wouldn’t be in a room with several older women.  She would be much more at ease with women her own age.  “Mrs. Harris, I’d like you to meet Joan Smith,” she indicated a short blond woman, “and Beatrice Brown.  They’re both new to our town as well.”  Beatrice was a tall willowy brunette with sad eyes.

Malinda nodded at the two.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Make yourselves comfortable.  I need to get the refreshments.”  The three younger women sat down together while Mrs. Pickering hurried out of the room. 

Malinda looked at the other two, wondering what she should say to them.  She felt drawn to Beatrice because her eyes were so sad, so she started with her.  “What brings you to Gammonville?” 

“My husband and I were on our way through here, heading to California with a wagon train, when I lost the baby I was carrying.  We stayed on because there was a doctor here, and I needed care.”  The woman looked down at her hands, her eyes filled with tears.

Malinda reached out and took the other woman’s hand.  “I’m so sorry.  How long ago was that?”  She couldn’t imagine how hard it would be to lose a child and her heart went out to Beatrice.

“Just a month.”

No wonder her eyes look so sad.  “So will you be continuing on to California once you’re recovered or are you planning to stay here in Colorado?”  Malinda hoped she’d stay, because there was something about the other woman that made her feel as if she’d make a good friend.

“My husband is a blacksmith, and the town needed a blacksmith, so it looks like we’re staying.”  Beatrice shrugged as if she didn’t care whether they stayed or moved on to California.

“How do you feel about that?” Malinda asked.

“Oh, fine.  At least I know people here.  California would be strange and new.  I’m not good at meeting new people.”

“Neither am I!” Malinda exclaimed.  She turned to Joan.  “What about you?  How long have you been in town?”  She felt bad she’d left Joan out of the conversation, but she didn’t feel as drawn to her as she did to Beatrice.

“I’ve been here close to a year.  I came here with my parents because my father had some work to do for the railroad.  I met my husband and just stayed.  They moved on about nine months ago.” 

“Do you like it here?” 

Joan shrugged.  “It’s fine.  I was tired of traveling, and my husband is a sweetheart.” 

Mrs. Pickering walked back into the room then, carrying a tray loaded with a teapot, cups and several different kinds of cookies.  Malinda jumped up to help her.  “I’ve got it,” Mrs. Pickering told her as she lowered the tray onto the small table in front of the couch.

Mrs. Pickering took the seat beside Malinda on the couch because the other two women were sitting in the arm chairs.   “We’re having a church bake sale in a month.  I hope I can count on the three of you to bake up some treats to help raise money for our new church bell.”

Malinda nodded.  “I can help with that.  What’s needed?”  Maybe doing some baking would make her feel more a part of the new community.

Mrs. Pickering poured out tea for the three younger ladies before jumping up to run from the room.  “I’ll get my list.”  Malinda blinked.  She certainly was spry for a woman of her age.  When she returned, she read over the list.  “We have cookies and a few cakes.  Can any of you bake a good pie?”  Mrs. Pickering looked between the three younger women, waiting for one of them to volunteer.

“I can.  What kind?” Malinda asked.

“Why don’t you do a cherry and an apple?  Would that be too much?”

Malinda shook her head, getting the impression it didn’t matter if it was too much or not.  “That’s fine.  Just give me the date before I go so I’ll know when to bake them.”

The talk for the rest of the afternoon centered around the bake sale, which Mrs. Pickering was organizing.  When it was time to leave, Malinda breathed a sigh of relief.  That hadn’t been nearly as bad as she’d expected and she now knew three women at the church she could talk to.  There was a slight spring in her step as she hurried home to fix dinner.  She was glad that was over.

*****

Malinda and Wesley had been married for two weeks when she realized she’d need to make a trip to the mercantile to get more staples.  They were almost out of beans, rice, flour and sugar.  She’d never asked him for money for anything, so she was hesitant to go to him.  Their marriage was better than it had been in the beginning, but he still seemed sad about something.  She wondered if they’d ever get past the bad start their marriage had.

On Sunday evening, she said, “I need to go to the mercantile in the morning.  We’re almost out of food.”  She stood in front of where he sat on the couch, wringing her hands nervously.

He glanced up.  “No problem.  I got paid yesterday.”  He stood and dug some money out of his pocket and handed it to her. 

“How much can I spend?  All of this?”  He’d handed her several dollar coins and she would happily use them all, but not if they would be destitute if she did.

He dug into a box underneath the small table that sat next to the sofa.  He handed her the paper which had “Household Expenses” written across the top.  She looked down at the list.  Rent, milk and egg delivery, and groceries.  He had given her a five dollar a month budget for food and miscellaneous items.

“So if I need a new dress, the money needs to come out of this five dollars a month?” she asked, knowing there’s no way she would be able to make that work for anything more than food, if she could stretch it that far.  She briefly wondered how he’d feel if she took his rifle and went out and shot a deer to give them more meat.  She sat down beside him on the sofa as she tried to figure out how she’d stretch the money she’d been given.

He nodded.  “If you can fit it in that amount, then you can have it.”

“Okay.”  Her mind was spinning as she snuggled into his side.  How was she even going to be able to feed both of them on five dollars a month, let alone be able to buy other things they needed, like kerosene for the lamps?  He was asking her to be extremely frugal which she didn’t mind, but she’d hoped to be able to put some money away for a rainy day.

The five one dollar coins were clenched in her fist.  She really needed to put them up where she wouldn’t lose them, but she was too content sitting beside him.  There’d be plenty of time to worry about finances tomorrow when he wasn’t home and couldn’t watch her do it.

Before bed that evening, she tucked the coins away on the dresser wrapped in a clean handkerchief.  She’d carry that to the mercantile with her the next morning.  Maybe she should think about what Angela had said about sewing for the miners.  She didn’t want to make Wesley feel like he didn’t make enough money though.  She’d think of something.

She removed her dress and climbed into bed beside Wesley.  When winter came, she wouldn’t be able to sleep without a nightgown, but for as long as she could, she’d make him happy this way.

After they’d made love, she laid awake long into the night, trying to figure out how she was going to make the small household budget be enough, while still saving money for a rainy day.  She wouldn’t be able to be content in her marriage as long as she was panicking about money, and she wouldn’t be able to stop panicking about money until she had some saved.

*****

After Malinda had finished doing the breakfast dishes, she left for the mercantile the following morning.  Ellen still came over to see her frequently, but she was busy now that she’d started volunteering at the orphanage and didn’t make it over every day. 

It was a short walk, and she enjoyed wandering slowly through the streets of the small town.  She passed both the bank and the sheriff’s office, looking over at them.  She wondered if it would bother Wesley if she popped in during the day.  She looked at the building where Wesley worked for a minute before wandering in.

Wesley was sitting at the desk in the office, and there was a man lying on the cot in the single jail cell sleeping.  Wesley looked up when she walked in.  “Well, hi there!”

Malinda smiled and walked over to him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.  “Hi.”

“What brings you this way?”  Wesley’s grin told her he was happy to see her. 

“I was on my way to the mercantile and when I saw the jail, I thought I’d stop in and see you for a minute.”  She looked around.  “I’ve never actually been in a jail before.”

Wesley laughed.  “That’s a good thing.”  He looked around him.  “Not much to see really.  There’s the jail.”  He pointed to the cell.  “This is my desk.”  He shrugged.  “You’ve had the entire tour now.”

She laughed.  “So do you have to stay here as long as there’s someone in jail?”

He shook his head.  “I have a part time deputy who comes in at night and on the weekends when someone is in jail.”  He pointed to the sleeping man.  “He’s just sleeping off a drunk.  I’ll let him out before coming home for dinner tonight.”

Malinda studied the sleeping man.  “Do you have drunks in here often?”

“Usually just on the weekends.  He was wandering through town drunk this morning, so I brought him in.”  Wesley shrugged.  “He was yelling something about a big find.  Probably struck gold and got drunk to celebrate.”

Malinda nodded.  Even with Wesley there, she felt uncomfortable in the jail.  “I need to run to the mercantile.  Thanks for the tour.”

He laughed.  “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

She wandered out onto the street and looked around the town, setting off toward the mercantile again.  Once Malinda reached the mercantile, she tried to keep her eyes off of the things that weren’t true necessities.  There was some pretty fabric in the dry goods section she would have loved to take home with her.  Wesley loved pretty things on her, and she wanted to make a dress out of it so badly so she could watch his face light up when she wore it. 

She shook her head.  No.  She had to concentrate on the things they truly needed, not on things she just wanted.  “I need three pounds of beans, a pound of flour, a pound of sugar and a pound of rice, please.”  She forced herself to look at the clerk at the mercantile, wishing she wasn’t so shy.

While he was filling her order, Malinda felt herself drawn as if by a magnet to the table with the fabric laid out.  She ran her finger along the lavender fabric with the tiny little flowers.  She could see just how she’d make the dress up, and it would be beautiful.  She wanted the fabric so badly she could taste it.

While she was looking another lady came to stand at the table.  “It’s a beautiful fabric.  I’ve been in here every day this week looking at it,” said a sweet voice beside her.

Malinda’s eyes raised and she saw a young woman standing beside her.  “It’s beautiful.”  She studied the woman beside her, noting her dress.  It was very fashionable, but the colors didn’t suit her.  The lavender on the table would suit her perfectly.

The woman sighed.  “I’m Elizabeth Chandler.”

“Malinda Harris.”  Malinda offered her hand.

“Oh!  You’re Ellen’s sister, aren’t you?  My husband is the vice president of Patrick’s bank.” 

Malinda looked at her in surprise.  If her husband was the vice president of the bank, then she could certainly afford the fabric.  “So why haven’t you purchased the fabric?”  Malinda truly didn’t understand why people with money didn’t just buy everything they wanted.  She knew if she had the kind of money to do it, she would buy up all the fabric in the store.  Well, except the banana yellow color.  That was hideous.

“Unfortunately, I’m not much of a seamstress.  I have to buy my clothes ready-made.”  She pointed across the store.  “Those are what I have to choose from.”

Malinda looked at the ready-made dresses in surprise.  They were all so ugly, she hadn’t even noticed them.  “Oh, those are dreadful!”  She clapped her hand over her mouth.  She hadn’t meant to say that.  “I’m sorry.”

Elizabeth laughed.  “No, they are dreadful.  I’ll never understand why Mr. Mills doesn’t stock pretty dresses.”  She frowned, looking down at the pretty fabric.  “What this town needs is someone who can sew.”

Malinda chewed on her lip for a moment before saying, “I can sew.”  She stepped back and made a slow circle.  “I made this dress.”  By showing off her skills, she knew she was offering to sew for the woman.  She had no idea how Wesley would feel about it, but she knew they needed the money so she was willing to give being a businesswoman a try.

Elizabeth’s eyes grew wide as she took in Malinda’s dress.  “That’s beautiful.  I love the little embellishments around the collar.”  She looked Malinda up and down.  “How much would you charge me to make a dress, just like the one you’re wearing, in this fabric?”  She lifted the pretty calico print out of the bin.

Malinda had no answer.  She walked across the store to look at the cost of the dresses there.  They were each five dollars, so mentally calculating cost of fabric, Malinda walked backed over to Elizabeth.  “If you buy the fabric, I’ll make it for three dollars.  Would that work for you?”

Elizabeth nodded enthusiastically.  “That would be wonderful!  I’ll pay the same as I’d pay for one of the hideous dresses, but I’ll get what I want.”  She picked up the fabric and walked to the front of the store with Malinda walking behind her.  “How long do you think it will take you?”

Malinda shrugged.  “If you can come over to be measured this afternoon, I could have it done by Friday at the latest.  Maybe a fitting on Thursday?”  She wasn’t sure how Wesley would feel about it, but she loved the idea of making a whole three dollars on her own.  And if Elizabeth liked what she did, maybe she could get more jobs.

Malinda took home her groceries and the fabric.  She heated up the beans and cornbread she’d fixed for dinner the night before, and quickly baked some cookies she could serve to Elizabeth when she came to be measured.

While the food was heating up, she put the groceries away and hid the fabric in the spare room.  She wanted to think about how to broach the subject with Wesley before he saw the fabric. 

By the time Wesley got home for lunch at noon, she had his lunch prepared and a small basket of cookies for him to take back to the sheriff’s office that afternoon.  He had a sweet tooth, and she loved to send him little snacks to take to work. 

“I made you a basket of cookies for work this afternoon,” she told him when he sat down.

“Really?  What did I do to deserve that?”  His grin told her how appreciative he was of the sweets.

She laughed.  “You let me go get more flour and sugar at the mercantile, so I had everything I needed to make them.”  She spooned up a bite of her beans and watched as he took a huge bite out of his cornbread that he’d smothered with maple syrup.  He couldn’t seem to eat anything without adding some kind of sweetener to it.

Once he was finished eating, he thanked her sweetly for the basket of cookies and kissed her on the cheek on his way out the door.  “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Stay safe,” she responded.  She’d started worrying about how dangerous his job could be.  Yes, now he was putting small boys in jail for stealing gumdrops, but there was a good chance it could get dangerous.  She was afraid every minute he was gone during the day.

Once he’d left, she rushed through the dishes and had them finished when she heard the knock on the door.  She wiped her hands on her apron and hurried through the house to the front door.  Opening it wide, she invited Elizabeth into the house and took her back to the spare room where she had her sewing things set up.  “You want me to use the dress I’m wearing to model it after, right?” she asked as Elizabeth removed her dress so she could be measured in her petticoat and corset.

Elizabeth nodded, her hands held out straight at the sides.  “Would it cost extra to have you put the little flowers on the collar like you did with yours?”

Malinda wished she could say yes to that because she’d love the extra money, but she knew she was already asking as much as she felt comfortable asking.  “No, I was already planning that.  Do you want them to be lavender with green leaves to match the fabric?”

“Oh yes, please.  That sounds pretty.”

“No problem.”  Malinda used the string she had set aside and then carried it over to the yard stick she had.  It wasn’t the most efficient way of doing things, but it would have to work.  She simply didn’t have the money for a measuring tape yet.

She jotted down the numbers and consulted the paper pattern she had bought in Beckham before their train trip.  “That’s all I need.”

“And you want me to come back Thursday for a fitting?” Elizabeth asked, getting back into her dress. 

“Let’s say around three in the afternoon?  That should have me finished with everything but the hem and the embroidery.”  Malinda walked Elizabeth to the kitchen.  “Would you care for some cookies and tea?”

Elizabeth looked at the water already boiling on the stove.  “That would be nice if you don’t mind.”

Malinda smiled.  “I’d enjoy that as well.  Have a seat.”  She hurriedly fixed the tea and put the cookies on the table. 

Elizabeth reached out and took a bite of one of the sugar cookies Malinda had made that morning.  “These are wonderful!”

“I’m not much of a cook, but I love to bake.  Thankfully my husband has a sweet tooth and he’ll eat anything I cook as long as I serve him something for dessert.”  Malinda sighed.  “I burned dinner a couple of nights ago, and he ate every bite because he knew he had dessert waiting for him.”

Elizabeth laughed.  “I’m so glad I don’t have to try to cook.  I grew up in a well-to-do family, and it was always assumed I’d marry a man who would have maids.  Thank heavens I fell for a man who was able to afford a cook from the first day we were together.  If he had to eat my cooking, just once, he would forget about what society thinks and divorce me.”

Malinda grinned.  “I certainly understand that.  I never expected to marry a rich man, but I spent a lot of time when I was growing up with my father helping on the farm instead of in the house learning to do the things a wife does.  My sister tried to teach me, but I was a dismal failure.”  She gestured to the kitchen around her.  “Now I’m trying to make up for lost time.”

“I’m so glad it didn’t work out for me that way.”  Elizabeth took another bite of cookie.  “I may have you bake some cookies for me to serve at a ladies’ tea I’m having next week.  There are several bankers’ wives who meet up every month and this time it’s at my home.  I’m expected to serve refreshments and I usually have my cook do it for me, but her cookies don’t compare to yours.”

Malinda thought about it for a moment, mentally calculating the amount of money that had gone into the ingredients for the cookies.  “I could make them for a dollar a dozen.”  She knew she was charging a lot, but if Elizabeth really wanted her cookies, she’d readily agree.

“That sounds fair.  I’ll need about three dozen.  Is that okay?” 

Malinda’s eyes widened in surprise.  She was going to pay her the same amount for baking three dozen cookies as she would for sewing a dress?  She felt like she was taking advantage.  “Well, if you’re doing three dozen, it’ll be a dollar and a half.  Most of that was just for my time.”

“Oh, thank you.  That sounds good.”  Elizabeth ate one more cookie and drained her cup.  “I need to get home.  My little girl will be waking up any minute, and I spend the afternoons with her while the nanny has some time off.”  She stood and headed toward the door.

Malinda walked her to the door smiling happily.  She’d almost doubled the amount of money she could spend in a month.  Maybe she could make some curtains and matching pillows for the sofa like she’d seen at Mrs. Pickering’s house.

She slipped some pork chops into the oven to bake and hurried into the spare room.  She wanted the dress cut out and at least basted together before she had to finish fixing dinner.  While she cut, she decided she was going to wait a while before telling Wesley about making extra money.  She didn’t want him to feel like she didn’t think he was a good enough provider.

She was a little ahead of schedule on the sewing when she realized she needed to get dinner finished.  She hurriedly closed the door to the spare room and rushed to the kitchen.  She had to make potatoes and biscuits yet, and Wesley would be home in less than twenty minutes.  She could make some of the canned carrots for a vegetable, and they wouldn’t take more than a minute or two to heat up.

She rushed down the stairs to the cellar and gathered up enough potatoes for the two of them, and then climbed back up as fast as she could.  She cut one of her fingers peeling the potatoes because she was trying to go too fast.  She forced herself to slow down, hoping Wesley wouldn’t be upset that dinner was late.  Of course, she could always just give him a couple of cookies with milk to tide him over until she had everything ready.

She was just putting the biscuits into the oven when Wesley got home.  He looked at the table in surprise.  She always had dinner waiting when he got there. 

“I’m sorry.  I lost track of time.”  Malinda said truthfully, although she felt a pang of guilt over not telling him the full truth.  “Do you want a couple of cookies and some milk before dinner?”

Wesley perked up.  “Dessert first?  You always make me wait until after dinner for dessert.”  He took the cookies she offered him and poured a glass of milk.  “Lose track of time every day, would you?”

She laughed.  “I don’t think that would be a good idea, but I’m glad you’re not mad it happened this once.”  She watched as he sat at his regular spot at the table, putting the plate his cookies were on atop the plate she’d set for him.

She put the carrots into a pot to cook, and mashed the potatoes.  By the time she was finished, the biscuits were done.  She could serve the potatoes with just butter this time.  They didn’t need to have gravy every night.

Wesley didn’t say a word about the lack of gravy.  He happily ate every bite.  When he was finished, he gave her his best little boy smile.  “More cookies now?”

She stood and got him more cookies.  “You’re going to turn into a giant sugar cube if you’re not careful.”  She couldn’t imagine how the man stayed so slim.  He ate everything he could get his hands on.  “How did you eat before I got here?”  She knew he hadn’t gone to the restaurant every night with his budget.

Wesley shrugged.  “I ate at Patrick’s house a lot.  He didn’t mind, and it was free and already prepared.”

Malinda seemed to consider that.  “We should do that now.  Less cooking for me!”  She was only half joking as she said it, loving the idea of spending more time with her sister and less time in the kitchen.

“I like your cooking,” he protested.

“Even that burnt casserole from the other night?”  She knew he couldn’t claim to like that.

“The cake washed the taste right out of my mouth.”

She laughed out loud.  “You’re a silly man.”  She stood up and made shooing motions with her hands.  “Get out of my kitchen.  I need to do the dishes.”  She wished she could get some more sewing done after the dishes but knew it would be better if she waited until he was at work again. 

Once the dishes were done, she snuggled against him on the sofa as had become their habit in the evenings.  He talked about his day, and she told him about her trip to the mercantile. 

She felt  a slight qualm about keeping her new ‘job’ from him while she lay in bed watching him sleep, but reasoned it would help them, spare his pride and she could do it all without inconveniencing him.  Where was the problem in that?

*****

When Elizabeth came for her fitting on Thursday, Malinda was thrilled to see that the dress fit perfectly.  Now she only had to hem it and do the embroidery on the collar and the dress would be ready.  She was thrilled.  Three dollars was a lot of money to be able to tuck away for a rainy day, and she’d done it all in her spare time. 

As soon as Wesley left for work on Friday, she hurriedly finished the embroidery.  Elizabeth had asked if she could pick up the dress at eleven in the morning, instead of waiting until two as they’d originally planned.  Malinda didn’t like her getting there so close to lunchtime for fear Elizabeth and Wesley would cross paths and he’d find out what she was doing, but she didn’t have much choice.  Elizabeth said she had plans for the afternoon and wanted to wear the dress, so she’d just have to make sure they didn’t see each other.

Lunch was just leftovers, so she put them in the oven with just a small fire, so they would heat up and stay hot without burning while she met with Elizabeth.  She had everything planned out perfectly.

At half past eleven, Malinda started to worry.  Elizabeth wasn’t there yet, and she’d need to try on the dress.  She finally arrived at fifteen minutes before twelve, and Malinda knew she was sunk.  She knew she’d have to come clean with Wesley, and hoped he wouldn’t be angry.

“I’m so sorry I was late, but the baby was fussy.  I think she’s cutting teeth.  I wanted to get her down for her nap myself.”   Elizabeth hurried in.  “She only wants me when she’s upset for any reason.”

“I understand.  I just hope it’s what you want.”  Malinda tried not to look panicked and calmly held the dress up for Elizabeth to see.

“Oh, my!  It’s beautiful.  I can’t believe you did this in just a few days.”  Elizabeth picked the dress up from the bed and held it at arm’s length inspecting it.

Malinda helped Elizabeth into the dress and stepped back to make sure the hem was even.  “How does it feel?”  She studied the way the dress conformed to Elizabeth’s curves, knowing it was good.

The dress fit beautifully, and Elizabeth was thrilled.  “Perfect.  I couldn’t have asked for a better fit.”  She quickly hugged Malinda.  “Thank you so much.”  Elizabeth picked up her string purse from the bed where she’d put it with the dress she’d come over in.  “I want to wear this to the party, so I’m not going to change out of it.”  She pulled three dollar coins from the purse.  “Are you sure this is enough?”

Malinda accepted the money with a smile.  “I’m positive.  You were easy to work with.”  She laid the money on the dresser, happy to have something she could save. 

“I’d like a couple more dresses if you don’t mind doing more for me.”  Elizabeth looked hesitant to ask, but Malinda nodded eagerly.

“I’d love to.  Do you have anything in mind?”  She hated the thought of looking for more people to sew for, but now that she’d earned some money, she wasn’t sure she ever wanted to stop.

“I actually already ordered a couple of patterns from the mercantile on the chance you’d say yes.”

Malinda laughed.  “I’m glad you did.  I’ll get started as soon as they’re in.”

“Thank you again.  I’ll come by when they’re in with the fabric I want.  Will three dollars be the regular fee?”

“Unless the dress is extremely complicated, that should be fine.”

“Are you willing to do baby dresses as well?”

“Of course.  Anything I can do to help.”

“I’m so glad you moved to town!”  She walked toward the front door, carrying her dress under her arm.  “I’ll be by Monday.  I already have a pattern for my baby’s dress.”

“That sounds good.  I should be here.”

Wesley came in the back door while she was saying goodbye to Elizabeth at the front.  Malinda glanced at the clock.  He was fifteen minutes later than usual.  “I’ll see you Monday,” she told Elizabeth.

“Thank you!”  Elizabeth hurried to the buggy waiting on the street.

Wesley stood for a moment looking at Malinda as if waiting for an explanation.  When she simply hurried to get his food, he asked, “What was that about?”

Malinda bit her lip as she pulled the food out of the oven and served it onto the two plates.  “I made her a dress.”  What was the best way to tell him?

“When?”

“I’ve been working on it all week.”  She sat down opposite him after their plates were fixed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”  He looked genuinely perplexed by her silence on the matter.

She took a deep breath.  “Because she paid me to do it, and I didn’t want to upset you.”  She stared down at her food as she explained.

He made a face.  “Why would that upset me?”

She shrugged.  “I didn’t want you to think you weren’t a good provider.”

“So you hid it from me?”  He ate his last few bites of food in silence.  “That’s not the way a marriage works.”

“I know.  I shouldn’t have hidden it from you.  I’m sorry.”  She was sorry she’d hidden it now that she’d seen his reaction.  He didn’t seem to be upset that she felt the need to make money, only that she’d hidden it from him.

“Are you planning on doing more sewing for people?”

She nodded.  “I have plenty of time, and I think it would be good for us to save up some money for a rainy day.”  She looked down at her plate.  “I also want to make curtains and some other things for the house, but there’s no way I could do it all on five dollars a month.”

He stood up, his face hard.  “I don’t mind you sewing for people and making a little extra money.  What I do mind is you hiding it from me.”  He picked up the hat he’d set on the work table when he walked in the door and settled it on his head.  “I expect honesty from my wife.”  He left, closing the door behind him.

Malinda sat and stared at the closed door for a minute before getting up to wash the dishes.  It was only then she realized he’d left without touching the dessert she’d made. 

Chapter Eight

As a way to get to know her better, Malinda invited Beatrice over to bake with her the Friday before the bake sale.  “What did you agree to make?” she asked as she let Beatrice into the house.  She stifled a yawn.  She’d been working every spare moment for weeks.

“I’m baking two different kinds of cookies.  I’m not very good at baking.”  Beatrice made a face.  “I’m hoping you know what you’re doing.”  She set her crate of ingredients on the table.

Malinda laughed.  “I’m not good at cooking, but I love to bake.  I’ll help you.”  Malinda had already prepared her pies and was just going to bake them later.  More than anything she was hoping to get to know Beatrice better.  They both needed friends.

“I’m glad at least one of us knows what she’s doing!”  Beatrice handed Malinda the recipes she’d been given.  “This is what I’m supposed to do.  I have all the ingredients.”

Malinda read over the recipes and took a large mixing bowl down off the shelf over the work table.  “These look relatively simple.  We’ll do them together.”  She gathered what they’d need and put some coal into the stove.

They worked together chatting happily about what they thought of their new town.  Malinda told Beatrice about her new “business”.  “I really enjoy sewing, so it just makes sense I’d make some money at it.”  She hoped Beatrice wouldn’t think less of her for working, but she didn’t seem the type of person who would judge that way.

“I didn’t know you’d made your dresses.  That’s beautiful!  I guess I just assumed your mother made it for you, like my mother made this dress for me.”

Malinda shook her head.  “My mother died when I was eleven.” 

“Oh no!  I’m sorry to hear that.  I don’t know what I’d have done without my mother.  She’s taught me so much.”

“My sister Ellen taught me what I needed to know.  Have you met her?  She married Patrick Harris, the banker.”  Malinda had thought of Ellen as half mother, half sister all her life.

Beatrice thought for a moment and then shrugged.  “I really don’t think I’ve met her.  In the time I’ve been here, I’ve been so sad that I haven’t really noticed a lot of the people around me.”  She sighed.  “I know it’s no excuse, but I’ve distanced myself from everyone.  I need to start working at becoming part of the community.”

Malinda nodded.  “No, I understand what you mean.  My father died a couple of months before we moved here.  My sister just kept going, still working as hard as ever and talking to everyone like she was fine.  I walked around as if I was in the middle of a dense fog.  I couldn’t do anything I was supposed to do.”  She slid the first batch of cookies into the oven and sat down.

Beatrice moved to sit across from her.  “That’s exactly how I felt.”  She looked down at her hands.  “I just wanted to die along with my baby.  I don’t feel like it’s fair that I lived and he didn’t.”

Malinda took Beatrice’s hand in hers.  “We don’t know what God has in mind from this, but there must be a reason.”

Beatrice sighed.  “For a while, I even lost faith in God.”

“I understand.”  Malinda jumped at a knock on the door.  “Excuse me.”  She wasn’t expecting anyone, so she cautiously opened the door.

“You the woman who sews?”  The man in front of her was the miner she and Ellen had described on the train.  His gray beard came to his waistband, and he looked as if he hadn’t bathed in months.  His stench made her want to back up, but she stood her ground.

Malinda nodded tentatively.  “Yes, I am.”

“I needs me some new shirts.  Five of them.”  He held up a bundle under his arm.  “I have all the stuff, but I needs you to measure me and makes the shirts.”

“Yes, of course.”  She looked over her shoulder at Beatrice.  “Do you mind?”  She was half afraid the other woman would leave rather than be in a house with the miner.

Beatrice shook her head.

Malinda was thankful the other woman was there.  She didn’t think she’d be able to let this smelly man into her house without someone else there with them.  She opened the door wide and let him into the house, taking him back to the spare bedroom she’d set up as her sewing room.  She got her measuring tape and measured him, noting his measurements on a piece of paper she kept on hand.

“When do you need the shirts by?” 

“Week from Saturdy.”

Malinda’s head jerked up.  “That’s not much time.”  She’d have to work fast and hard to get them done that fast. 

“I’ll pays an extry dollar if you can have ‘em done then.”

“I charge a dollar per shirt,” Malinda told him, glancing up to see if that was too much for him.  She didn’t really care.  To get that many shirts done in such a short amount of time, she’d need to be paid that much.  She’d be losing sleep over these shirts of his.

“Fine.  You haves ‘em done on time, I pays you six.”

Malinda smiled.  “You have yourself a deal.  Come by during the afternoon and I’ll have them ready.”  Her mind was already at work about how to make the most of her sewing time. 

The miner didn’t say another word before leaving.  Malinda stood for a minute and watched him go, and then turned to Beatrice.  “He was certainly interesting.  I’m so glad you were here!”  She rushed back over to the table to continue helping Beatrice.

Beatrice grinned.  She’d removed the cookies from the oven and added more.  “Me too.  It would have been downright frightening to be alone with a man like that.”

“I know!  I should have arranged to meet him in a public place when I gave him the shirts.”  She bit her lip.  She could ask Wesley to be sure he was home the afternoon the man came back, but she wasn’t sure how he’d feel about that. 

“I’ll come back Saturday afternoon.”

“Oh, would you?”  Malinda breathed a sigh of relief.  Beatrice coming back was the perfect solution.  She wouldn’t be alone with him, and she wouldn’t have to bother her husband to be home either.

Beatrice smiled.  “For my new friend?  Anything.”

*****

They’d been married three months when he came home from work one day to find the bed unmade and dishes in the sink.  Dinner wasn’t ready either.  Wesley went into the spare room to find Malinda.  She had shirt pieces spread everywhere.  “Dinner?” he asked.

She looked up.  “I’m sorry!  I lost track of time.  I need to have these done by tomorrow afternoon, and I still have quite a bit to do.”  She put the pieces she was basting together down and stood to rush to the kitchen to fix dinner.

Wesley followed her, angrier than he’d been in a long time.  “I know you think you need to work to make extra money, but neglecting your real responsibilities is not acceptable.  If I don’t make enough money for you, then you shouldn’t have agreed to marry me!”

She turned to face him, her breath ragged as she fought back the tears.  “I’m sorry dinner wasn’t ready.  I married you because I couldn’t see myself married to anyone else.”  How could he not understand she loved him?

“So why do you think you need to make money all the time?  Why can’t you be content with what we have?  And why did you feel the need to hide the fact that you weren’t content?”

She spun on her heel and continued into the kitchen.  He was being unreasonable.  She pulled the eggs off the shelf to make them omelets for dinner.  She didn’t care what he thought, he was getting an omelet.

“Eggs?  You’re making me eggs for dinner?  Eggs are for breakfast!”  Wesley’s voice was raised in a yell by this time.  He seemed willing to pick a fight about anything.

She calmly picked up the first egg, turned and took aim, hitting the middle of his forehead.  Turning around, she picked up another and had it in her hand ready to throw.  “Any other complaints?” 

Wesley stood there breathing hard with egg dripping off his forehead.  He was so fed up with the way she put him behind making money he was ready to scream.  “What is your problem?”

She let fly her next missile, hitting him again in the middle of the forehead.  She wasn’t going to stop until he stopped yelling at her.

Wesley’s eyes widened as she turned and picked up another egg.  He wasn’t just going to stand there and be her target.  He walked slowly toward her, reaching out and grabbing her shoulders.  “You’re going to stop throwing eggs.  They cost money, you know.”

Malinda let out a short scream.  “You are the most unreasonable man I’ve ever met in my life!”  She took the egg in her hand and crushed it into the front of his shirt.  “And you can wash that out yourself!”  He was the most belligerent, unreasonable man she had met in her entire life.  Why did she love him?

Wesley stood staring down at his wife, fighting the urge to beat her.  He’d never in his life wanted to hit a woman, but it was all he could think about doing right then.  “I’m unreasonable?  You spend every waking moment trying to make money, and you just wasted three eggs!”

Malinda reached out to push him away from her.  “I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”  She turned back toward the work table, putting her palms flat on it and taking a deep breath to try to control her anger.

He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to face him.  “Don’t turn your back on me.”

“Then how am I supposed to cook you dinner?” she screeched.  She knew she sounded like a hoyden, but at that point she just didn’t care. 

He stood for a moment taking deep breaths, trying to control his temper.  Finally he leaned down and took her mouth in an angry kiss.

Malinda pushed against him.  How could he possibly think I want to kiss him now? She stomped on his foot to get him to let her go.

He tightened his arms around her and pulled her closer against him, putting all his anger into the kiss.  His hands stroked up and down her back, one of them trailing down to her backside, pulling her against him.

Malinda let out a low groan.  She was so angry with him, and yet she was still enjoying this.  What was wrong with her?  She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

As soon as Wesley realized she was responding to him, he turned her around so her back was to the table and lifted her up to sit on the edge of it.  He fought to pull her skirts up and over her waist, pushing them out of the way.  His fingers went to her underwear and he opened the placket and pushed the fabric to the side, gaining access to her soft hot flesh.  He stroked his finger inside her for a moment to test her readiness, and then his hands went to work on the front of his pants. 

Once he was free, he guided himself to her, looking into her eyes as he pushed inside her. 

Malinda was panting as she stared up at him, her hands flat on the table behind her to catch her weight.  How had their argument turned into this?

There was no tenderness this time, from either of them.  She dug her nails into his shoulders through his shirt.  His thrusts were hard and fast.  As soon as she climaxed, he let himself go and shouted in release. 

It took them both a moment to realize where they were and what they’d done.  She blushed as he stepped away from her and fastened his pants.  She quickly pushed her skirts down and looked away.  “Are omelets okay for dinner tonight?”  She was surprised her voice sounded so steady when what they’d just done had shaken her.

“Omelets are fine.”  He knew he should probably bring up what they’d argued about, but he was hungry and he just didn’t want to fight anymore.

While they ate, he brought up the subject of her working again.  “I guess I don’t mind you taking in sewing jobs if you don’t hide it from me, and you can do it around household chores.  Coming home to no dinner after a long day at work is hard.”

She nodded.  “I am sorry I didn’t have dinner ready.  I probably took on a little too much with how soon the miner I’m working for needs these shirts done.  I’ll be more careful about that in the future.”  She had known at the time she wouldn’t be able to finish fast enough, but the promise of an extra dollar had been too much enticement for her.

He took her hand across the table.  “I’m sorry I got so angry with you.”

She looked at him, and although he’d washed up and changed his shirt, she could still see some eggshells in his hair.  She did her best to keep her face straight.  “I’m really afraid of something happening to you and being left destitute.  When Father died, we had no idea we were in such a bad position financially.  A banker came and told us we had to leave our home.”  She looked down as she said the words, embarrassed that she’d once been in that position.

He nodded slowly.  “Ellen told me.  I always wondered why you didn’t.”

She shrugged.  “I guess I didn’t want you to worry about how I would feel about the money you make.  I am scared, though.  I want to have a nest egg saved up in case something happens.  It will make me feel safer and more secure.”  She didn’t know how to explain it beyond that.  She didn’t need a lot of money, she just needed enough money.

He squeezed the hand he was still holding.  “I can understand that.  You don’t think Patrick would let you go without if something were to happen to me, though, do you?”

She shook her head.  “No, I don’t.  I know Ellen wouldn’t.  I just can’t seem to get over the fear I have.  I don’t want to have to rely on the generosity of others.  I want to be able to stand on my own feet.”  After what had happened before, she needed to be able to make it on her own.

“We’ll save what we can then.  I wish you’d felt comfortable enough to talk to me about this before now.”

She looked down at her plate.  “It’s hard to admit just how low Ellen and I had sunk before we came here.  Did you know we had to stay with Harriett for a few weeks while we waited for you and Patrick to return our letters?”

“Harriett?”

“The woman who runs the mail order bride agency in Beckham.”  Why didn’t he know who Harriett was?

He shook his head.  “I didn’t know that.”

She nodded.  “Harriett was a really good friend to us, but we met her the day we wrote letters to you.”

“She sounds like a generous woman.”

Malinda nodded.  “It would be hard to find something negative to say about her.  She’s really a special woman.  I’d like to be more like her.  I can honestly say that other than Ellen, she’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”  She still missed her every day.

“Is she the one you write to?”

“Yes.  I write her every week.  She’s a really lonely woman.  She rarely does anything but work.  The letters she gets from the mail order brides she places keep her going.”  Malinda grinned.  “She needs a puppy.”

Wesley raised an eyebrow.  “Why does she need a puppy?”

“Every woman needs a puppy for companionship while her man is gone, or if she doesn’t have a man, like Harriett, she needs one all the time.”  Malinda shrugged, knowing she couldn’t explain it any better.

Wesley laughed.  “A puppy, huh?”

Malinda nodded.  “We had a dog when I was little, but he died a couple of years ago.  I remember when he used to follow me everywhere.  I loved having him around.  Anytime I was upset, I could just bury my face in his neck and cry.”  She sighed, missing the dog who had been a huge comfort to her when her mother died.

After dinner, Wesley stood up.  “I have a quick errand to run tonight.  I’ll be back in a half hour or so.”

Malinda was confused.  He never went anywhere after dinner.  “Okay.”  She cleared the table and washed the dishes, wondering where he could have gone. 

Just as she was drying the last dish and putting it away, she heard him come in the front door.  “Why didn’t you tell me I still had eggshell in my hair?” he bellowed.

She giggled and walked into the parlor where he was standing.  “I didn’t think of it.”  Just then she noticed the head of a puppy poking out from under his arm.  It was just a tiny little ball of fuzz and she rushed to him, taking the puppy in her arms.  “Oh!  Where did you get him?”  She buried her face in his fur to feel the soft fur on her face.

He smiled at the sight she made standing there snuggling the puppy to her face.  “There was a little boy giving them away in front of the sheriff’s office today.  If I’d known you wanted a puppy, I’d have gotten her then.”

“Her?  A girl?  What’s her name?”  She couldn’t believe he’d run out and gotten her a puppy just because she’d mentioned she wanted one.

“Well, that’s for you to decide, isn’t it?”

She held the puppy in front of her face.  “How big will she get?  I need to know that before I can come up with a good name.”  She studied the dog with interest.

He shrugged.  “I’m not sure.  Her feet are big, though.”

“I’m going to wait and see what comes to me.  I can’t name her until I know her personality, and that won’t happen for a few days.  Right now, I just want to call her Sweetheart.”  She giggled as the puppy nuzzled her neck with her head.

He laughed.  “Puppy will work until you come up with something.”

“Thank you.”  Malinda’s eyes met Wesley’s and she moved in close to kiss him.  He took over the kiss immediately, and they didn’t part until the puppy cried.  “Oh, I’m sorry, baby.  I didn’t mean to crush you!”

She kissed the puppy’s head and carried her to the spare room where she made a bed for her with old blankets.  The floor was hardwood and there was nothing for her to destroy.  Malinda made sure she put her sewing up on the dresser so the puppy wouldn’t be able to reach it.  She quietly closed the door behind her.

“I think she’ll be fine in there overnight.”

Wesley raised an eyebrow.  “I figured you’d want her sleeping with us!”

Malinda blushed.  “I don’t want her seeing what we do in bed at night.  She’s just a baby.”

He laughed and slipped his arm around her waist.  “Speaking of what we do in bed at night, I’m tired.”

She laughed.  “You haven’t even read the paper yet!”

He wiggled his eyebrows.  “I think I can skip that tonight.”

*****

After Wesley was asleep, Malinda sneaked out of bed and into the spare room. The puppy was curled up on the blankets she’d put down, sound asleep. She still had too much to do on the shirts to finish before the miner came back.  She realized then that she’d forgotten to get the man’s name. 

She moved her needle as quickly as she could without stabbing herself in the finger.  She didn’t think Wesley would appreciate it if she was full of holes when he got up the following morning.

Malinda had all but the last shirt finished when it was time for her to fix breakfast.  She stood up, stifling a yawn.  She couldn’t be late with two meals in a row.

When Wesley got up, he walked into the kitchen to find his wife setting the table.  “Pancakes?  My favorite!”  He got the maple syrup down and set it on the table.  “You look tired.”

She shrugged.  “I’m fine.”  Putting the last of the food on the table, she sat down across from him.  “Beatrice is coming over this afternoon.  She wants me to teach her to bake a cake.”  She put butter and syrup on top of her pancakes, stifling a yawn. 

Wesley nodded.  “I can’t think of a better person to teach her.  You have the touch when it comes to baking.”

She didn’t mention the shirts she was working on and neither did he.  She was certain he didn’t want to know when they’d be picked up, and she wasn’t about to volunteer the information.  Sure, they’d reached something of an impasse over her working, but neither one of them was willing to rock the boat. 

She was too tired to eat, so she fed the puppy her pancakes one bite at a time under the table, trying to make it look as if she were eating.

Once Wesley was gone, she hurried through the breakfast dishes and rushed back to finish the last shirt.  Finally, after an hour of sewing, it was finished.  She glanced at the clock and saw that it was only ten.  She couldn’t make leftovers from the night before for lunch like she usually did, so she quickly put on a pot of beans.  There was a bit of cornbread left from the night before, and that would have to work.

She stumbled back to her bedroom and curled up under the covers, exhaustion finally taking over.  She needed to remember not to take on more jobs than she could handle.  The puppy curled up on the floor beside the bed to sleep, keeping guard over her mistress.

*****

Wesley was startled by how quiet the house was when he got home for lunch.  He saw there were beans boiling on the stove, but there was no sign of his wife.  He walked through the house calling her name, and finally found her curled up in bed under the covers.  He was always surprised by how young she looked when she was asleep.  He stood for a moment, looking down at her, and then went into the kitchen to dish himself up a bowl of beans.  He’d let her sleep until he needed to go back to work and then wake her, giving her as much time as he could to get some much needed rest.

He hated that she felt the need to get up during the night to sew when he really did make enough money for them both to live on.  Sure, there wasn’t’ enough for a lot of extras, but he could cover the necessities.

He finished his beans, rinsed out his bowl and then tiptoed into the bedroom.  She was still sound asleep.  He sat down on the bed beside her.  “Malinda?  I’m about to go back to work.”

She sat up abruptly.  “I’m sorry!  I’ll get your lunch.”  She felt the panic rising in her.  She should have been awake to get his lunch when he got home!

He smiled stroking her cheek.  “I already got it.  I’m perfectly capable of dishing up my own lunch.  You just need to wake up.  You said your friend Beatrice was coming over today.”

She nodded, fighting the overwhelming exhaustion.  “She is.  Thank you for waking me.”  She struggled to keep her eyes open.

“I let you sleep as long as I could.  I’ll see you at dinner.”  He kissed her gently before disappearing out the door.

She rushed to put her hair up and get dressed.  She was still in her nightgown!  What must Wesley think of her?

By the time Beatrice arrived, she’d washed her face, fixed her hair and gotten dressed.  She was just finishing the lunch dishes when she heard a knock on the door.  Wiping her hands on her apron, she rushed to the door.  Beatrice stood there, smiling at her.  “Oh, thank you for coming!”

“It’s no problem.”  She held up the crate she held.  “I’m going to impose on you to show me how to bake a chocolate cake.  They’re my husband’s favorite.”

“I’d love to.  I told Wesley you were coming to learn how to bake a cake, so I was planning on showing you how to make one this afternoon anyway.”

“You didn’t want to tell him I was coming over so you wouldn’t be alone with that miner?”

She shook her head.  “He’d insist I stop sewing for people then.”

“Maybe miners aren’t the kind of people you should sew for.  There are a lot of ladies in town I’m sure would love to have you sew for them.”

Malinda shrugged.  “I’m sure most of the women in town already know how to sew for themselves.”  She looked through the ingredients Beatrice had brought with her and automatically started mixing the batter for the cake.  “You have enough for two.  Do you want to make them both?”

Beatrice nodded.  “I wanted to leave one here for you and your husband.  You said he has a sweet tooth.”

“He does!  We’d like that, if you don’t mind.”  Malinda knew Wesley would be thrilled to have a chocolate cake for dessert that evening.

“It’s the least I can do after all the baking lessons you’re giving me.”

They had just poured the batter into the pans when a knock came at the door.  “I’d better go deal with him,” Malinda said to Beatrice as she hurried to the door. 

She opened the door wide and the miner came in, smelling even worse than he had the previous week.  “I have your shirts ready for you.”  She led him down the hall to the spare room.

“Oh good.  I tries one on first, if yous don’t mind.”

“Of course not!  I’m sure you’ll find they fit.”  Malinda waited outside the door while he changed, exchanging looks with Beatrice.

When the door to the spare room opened again, the miner was wearing one of the shirts she’d made.   She wished she could tell him he needed to bathe before he wore them, but she knew that would be inappropriate.  “How does it fit?”  She looked at how the shirt fell over his shoulders and was happy. 

He nodded, his greasy hair bobbing beside his head.  “Fits just fine.”  He had the other shirts in his hand and held out several coins to her.  She looked down and saw there were seven. 

She blinked and counted once more.  “Seven dollars?  We agreed on just six.”  Not that she was complaining, but she didn’t want to take more than he meant to give her.

“I pays for what I likes.”  The man didn’t say another word as he left by the front door. 

Malinda looked at Beatrice with a shocked look.

“He pays for what he likes!” Beatrice said with a giggle.

“I guess he does.”  She walked to the jar where she kept her savings and dropped the coins in on top of the others.

Beatrice smiled as she looked at the jar.  “You’re building up quite a savings there.”

Malinda nodded.  “I know.  I’m really relieved to have it.”

“Does it bother your husband that you work?”

Malinda shrugged.  “I think it does some.  I think it bothers him more that I feel like I need to work than the fact that I do work, if that makes any sense at all.”

“It does make sense.  Men are raised to believe they should be the providers.  When their wives work, it hurts their pride.”

Malinda frowned.  “I don’t want to hurt his pride, but I don’t want to leave my children in the position I was in when my father died.”  She hated making Wesley feel like he was less than what she needed.  She wondered what the right answer could possibly be.

“Which was?”

“Two weeks after my father’s death, my sister and I had run out of food.  There was no money to be found.  A banker came to our house and told us we had three days to get off our property and we had to leave everything but our clothes behind.”

Beatrice gaped at her.  “Is that how you ended up out here?”

Malinda nodded.  “We were thankful to be able to become mail order brides.  We lived with the marriage broker in our town, and when we got our letters, we left.  I still write to her every week.”  She felt a smile cross her lips as she talked about Harriett.

“Wow.  I had no idea, Malinda.  It would be hard enough to lose your father, but to be left penniless as well.  No wonder you worry so much about money!”

“We don’t need any of the money I make to live on.  Wesley makes plenty.  If something happens, though, we’ll need it.  We have nothing saved for a doctor’s appointment or anything else that could happen.”  Well, they hadn’t had anything saved.  She looked at the jar and felt some of the panic leave her.

“Not many people do.”

“I know, but it scares me.  I want to have enough that we’ll get by if something happens.”

“I think that’s smart.”  Beatrice checked the cake in the oven.  “I think it’s done.”

Malinda removed the first cake and put the second into the oven.  “I don’t have any jobs lined up right now, so I’m going to take a day or two to rest.  I ended up working through the night last night to get the miner’s shirts done.”

“You should have told me!  I’d have left as soon as he did, and we could have put off baking for another day!”

Malinda shook her head.  “No, I enjoy your company.  I’m going to whip up a batch of cornbread to go with the beans I fixed for lunch.  And then at dinner time, we’ll be set.  That way I can nap for a bit before Wesley comes home.”

“Will he mind?”

“You know, I thought he would, but when he got home for lunch and I was sleeping, he served himself and didn’t wake me up until it was time for him to leave to go back to work.”  She smiled.  “He didn’t say a word about me sleeping through lunch.”  She was married to a good man.

“Good.  It sounds like he really cares about you.”

“He does.  I haven’t been a very good wife to him, but I think I’m getting better.”

“Oh, I don’t believe that at all!”

Chapter Nine

Malinda pulled on Lady’s leash.  “Lady, stop that!”  Lady was once again sniffing at a man on the street.  She’d grown a lot in the month since she’d come to live with Malinda and Wesley.  She was going to be a big dog.

Ellen grinned at her as she pushed Jonathan’s carriage.  “She’s a handful isn’t she?”

Malinda laughed.  “She is.”  She looked down at her nephew in the baby carriage.  “I can’t believe you and Patrick adopted a baby.”  She smiled at the sleeping baby boy.  She loved being an aunt.

Ellen shrugged.  “I couldn’t let him be sent from orphanage to orphanage.  Besides, it gave Angela a place to live as well.”  The smile on Ellen’s face told Malinda she was thrilled to have both of them, not just Jonathan.

Malinda smiled.  She’d liked Angela when she’d done her hair for the wedding.  “She’s a sweet girl.  I’m glad she’s not living in the orphanage anymore.”  She looked around.  “Where is she today?  I just realized she wasn’t here.”  In the week since Ellen had taken in Angela and Jonathan, Malinda hadn’t seen her without the two.

“She decided to stay and spend time with Alice.”

“That’s right!  She knew Alice before she was an orphan, right?”  Malinda had heard the story, but wasn’t clear on the details.

Ellen nodded.  “They’re very close.”  She eyed her sister.  “Are things better for you now?”

Malinda shrugged.  “In some ways.  We’ve stopped talking about the money I make, and if I keep all the housework and cooking done up, he doesn’t care if I do it.”  Of course they were both very careful not to mention her working.

“Have you finally explained why you’re so worried about money?”

Malinda nodded.  “Yeah, I told him after our last fight about it.”  She wished she’d told him from the beginning.  Opening up about it made her feel a lot better.

“Are you happy now?”

Malinda shrugged.  “I think so.  I mean, I really love Wesley and can’t imagine being married to anyone else.  He’s a good man.”  She kicked at a rock as she pulled Lady back from the street.  “I just still spend a lot of time worrying about money.”  She’d never tell Wesley that, of course, but she had to be honest with her sister.

“I thought you’d saved up a good amount?”

Malinda shrugged.  “I’ve saved up some, but not nearly enough to get by if something happens to Wesley.”  And that was her biggest fear.  Something would happen to him, and she would be left destitute.

“I don’t know why you can’t just trust that we’d take care of you if anything happened.”

“I don’t either!  I wish I didn’t spend all my waking hours afraid for tomorrow.  I know I need to get over it, but I just can’t seem to get past the worry.  And I wonder if I’ve made a mistake by marrying Wesley.  I don’t want to be married to anyone else, because I care about him, but…..I’m still scared.”  She watched as Lady relieved herself for the fifteenth time since they’d left home.

Ellen shook her head at her sister.  “You need to just let go of your fears.  If Wesley ever realized just how worried you were about money, I think he’d be devastated.  He’s not a pauper, and he works hard.”

“I know.”  Malinda sighed as she looked down at the dirt street.  “I just don’t know how to stop worrying.”

“Maybe you could start by trusting your husband?”

Malinda jerked around and saw Wesley standing behind her on the boardwalk beside the dirt street.  She was mortified.   How long had he been there?  How much had he heard?

“I’ll see you at home.”  Wesley turned and walked toward the sheriff’s office without saying anything else.

Malinda looked at Ellen.  “What have I done?”  She wanted to cry, but it would do no good.  Crying only worked when you were three.

Ellen shook her head.  “Malinda, you’ve got to tell him you love him.  The money doesn’t matter.  You would never have been happy with Patrick, despite the money, because he’s not the man you love.  Wesley makes you happy.  He’s the only man who ever could.”

Malinda sighed.  “I know he is, but I keep messing up!  I worry about money, and then he finds out, and then I’m in trouble again.  Why can’t I just keep my mouth shut?”  She couldn’t believe she’d said that in front of Wesley.  What was wrong with her?  She had to find a way to stop saying things like that and make him realize he made her happy.  But how could she do that while she was still so worried about money?

“It’ll all work out.  You and Wesley belong together.”

“I think so.”  She spotted Beatrice walking toward them.  “Oh Ellen, have you met my friend Beatrice?”  Malinda had been so busy with sewing every spare moment she had, she hadn’t gotten around to introducing two of her favorite people.

“I haven’t had that pleasure.”  Ellen smiled at the younger woman.

“Beatrice, this is my sister, Ellen, and my nephew, Jonathan.”  She kissed the other woman’s cheek in greeting.

Beatrice smiled.  “It’s nice to meet you.”  She looked at Malinda, her eyes dancing.  “I have something to tell you.   I was on my way to your house.”

Malinda looked at her friend.  “You’re expecting again!”  She was thrilled for her friend.

Beatrice nodded all but bouncing up and down.  “I’m worried, but at least there’s a doctor here in town.”

“I’m so happy for you!” 

Ellen smiled.  “I have news too.”

Malinda looked at her sister.  “You’re not!”  It was one thing to have her friend be pregnant.  She really couldn’t imagine Ellen having a baby.

Ellen nodded happily.  “The doctor confirmed it yesterday.  That’s one of the reasons I invited you to walk with me today.”

“Wow.  I’m going to be an aunt!”  Malinda hugged her sister.

Beatrice laughed.  “You’re already an aunt.”

“Yes, but I wasn’t expecting Jonathan!”

“Umm…I’m almost afraid to ask any questions.”  Beatrice looked perplexed.

Malinda laughed.  “Patrick and Ellen adopted Jonathan from the orphanage here in town.”

“Oh!”  Beatrice smiled at Ellen.  “Congratulations.  It’s nice to know my son or daughter will have a friend.”

Malinda watched her sister and her friend together thinking she should have introduced them sooner.  Both of them were new to town.  They should all be friends.

“Why don’t we all go back to my house for some cookies?  You two should get better acquainted.”  Malinda was certain they’d like each other.

Ellen shook her head.  “I have to get home.  I’m supposed to be at the orphanage in an hour and I need to eat lunch.”

“I have to go home, too.  The doctor wants me taking naps every afternoon, so I need to eat lunch so I can do that.  Thank you, though.”  She gave Malinda a quick hug and hurried off to her house.

“I guess it’s you and me, Lady.” 

Ellen laughed.  “You need to have the two of us over for tea and cookies soon.  I think we’d both enjoy that.”  Ellen waved as she walked off in the direction of her home, pushing Jonathan in his stroller.

Malinda smiled, watching her go.  She wondered if she’d be expecting soon, and then she remembered the fight she’d just had with Wesley.  She didn’t need to bring a baby into a marriage with that much fighting going on.  She and Wesley needed to settle things quickly.

*****

Wesley went to his office and slammed the door.  How could she still be so worried about money?  We’ve been married for months and not a penny of the money she’s made has disappeared from her jar.  We don’t need that money.  He kicked the chair in his office for good measure.

He sat down behind his desk and looked at the paperwork in front of him, staring into the face of Jim Madden.  Jim was wanted for murder in three states.  The reward was the highest Wesley had ever seen.  Five hundred dollars was a lot of money.  Wesley tacked up the wanted poster on the wall of the jail as he did with all of them that came through.  They were far enough from the railroad that he never saw any of them, but he studied all their faces just the same.  He wasn’t sure why, other than it’s what a sheriff was supposed to do.

He sighed and sank back into his chair.  What was he going to do about his wife?  How could he convince her that he’d take care of her no matter what?

*****

Malinda heated up the leftover fried chicken and mashed potatoes from dinner the previous evening.  She wasn’t looking forward to the fight she knew was brewing between her and Wesley, but she knew they needed to talk things out.  He hated that she felt the need to work, but didn’t mind if she did a little on the side, so surely they could come up with a compromise.

She eyed the jar on her work table.  She’d been working steadily for the three months she and Wesley had been married.  She dumped the money out onto the table wondering just how much was there.  She counted it quickly, dropping each coin back into her jar when she was finished.  When she was finished, she sat down, stunned.  She had fifty-three dollars saved!  It wasn’t a fortune by any means, but it would pay the bills for a month or two if anything happened.

She carried the jar into the spare bedroom and put it on the dresser there.  By the time she was back in the kitchen, Wesley was home and looking around.  She set the table and hurriedly put the food out, planning out what she was going to say to him in her mind.

Once she was seated, she looked up at him.  “I know you’re angry with me, and I’m very sorry.  I’m going to stop taking in sewing.  It’s only right that I trust you to provide for us.”  Even as she said it, she knew she wasn’t being completely honest with him.  She only trusted him to provide for them because she had money saved.

Wesley looked at her for a moment.  “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

She nodded.  “I enjoy doing the sewing, but if you don’t like it, then I’ll stop.”  She hoped he didn’t want her to stop because she did like making money and having some saved, but if he didn’t like it, she would stop immediately.

He sighed.  “I don’t want you to stop doing something you enjoy.  I just think you’ve been working yourself too hard.  One night you stayed up all night working.”  When he saw the look on her face, he added, “You didn’t think I knew that, did you?”

She shook her head.  “I thought you’d slept through it.”  She was abruptly ashamed she’d tried to hide the fact she’d worked all night from him.  He was a reasonable man and understood deadlines.

“I woke up and realized you were gone.  When you never came back, I knew you must be working.”  He looked down at his chicken.  “I hate the idea of you working that hard.  You’re my wife.  I want to provide for you.”

“So I’ll let people know I’m officially out of the sewing business.”  She shrugged as if it didn’t matter, even though to her it mattered a great deal.

He shook his head.  “No, because I want you to do things you enjoy.  Why don’t you just cut down on how much you do?  I don’t have a problem if you make a dress or two a month.”

She contemplated that for a minute.  “Honestly, a dress a week isn’t overtaxing for me.  Would that be okay?”  She held her breath, waiting for his response.  She didn’t want to do more than he thought she should, but she didn’t want to sit with nothing to do all the time, either.

He nodded.  “If you really don’t feel like it’s too much, then that’s fine.  Just don’t do so much you have to get up and work all night anymore.”

“I think that’s a fair compromise.”  And a compromise she could be content with.  She could still make extra money to save or spend however she wanted, but he wouldn’t feel like she was trying to out-earn him.

“And if you don’t want to do it, that’s fine too.  I just don’t want you to feel like we’re going to starve to death if you don’t work, because we won’t.”

She sighed.  “I know that.  I just worry so much about something happening like what happened when my father died.  I’ve never been so afraid in my life!”  There was no way she could convey the panic she’d felt during that time.

“I can understand that.  I really can.  But you need to understand that it wouldn’t happen to you.  You have my brother and your sister to fall back on if anything happens to me.”

“I know I do.  Ellen even told me that before we married, but I don’t want to be a burden on them either.”  She shrugged.  “It’s just something I need to get over.”  She took his hand in hers across the table.  “I’m really sorry you heard me on the street this morning.  I would never deliberately hurt you.”

“I know you wouldn’t.  I’m sorry you felt that way to begin with.”

She stood up and cleared the table while he watched.  Lady followed her around, hoping she’d drop some food.  After a moment, she scraped all the leftovers into Lady’s bowl for her to eat and started on the dishes.  Wesley walked up behind her and wrapped both arms around her waist.  “I’m going to miss you this afternoon.”

She turned to him, laughing.  “You will not.  You never even think about me when you’re at work and you know it.”  She smiled up at him, loving that he was returning to his old self now that things were finally settled between them.

He laughed.  “How can I not think about the beautiful woman waiting at home for me?”

She blushed.  “I miss you when you’re at work, too.”  She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek on his shoulder for a moment.

He kissed her softly before turning to the door.  “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Malinda enjoyed her free time that afternoon.  She didn’t feel the need to rush out and see if she could find some business, and she wasn’t working on anything for anyone.  Elizabeth had said something about needing her to make a few dresses for her baby, but that wouldn’t be until the following week.  She thought about what she and Wesley had talked about and decided she would stop taking business from the miners altogether.   They were generally a cranky, smelly bunch who were difficult to work with anyway.

She chopped up vegetables to make a thick stew which would taste wonderful on a cool fall evening.

Wesley was usually home by five-thirty at the latest, but she didn’t start to worry until after six.  At seven, she started pacing the floor in the parlor and calling him every name she could think of.  “The no good louse left me here by myself just because we had a little fight today?  What is his problem?  I thought things were finally settled!”  She tripped over Lady as she paced back toward the sofa.  “Where could he be?”

A knock at the door caught her attention mid-stride and she rushed to the front door, wondering who would be coming by at this hour?  It was past seven-thirty, much too late for unexpected guests.

She opened the door to find Patrick standing there wringing his hands.  “You need to come with me, Malinda.”

“Why?”  She couldn’t leave when Wesley would be home any minute.  She needed to be there for him.

“Wesley’s been shot.”

Chapter Ten

Malinda felt as if she couldn’t breathe.  “Shot?  Are you sure?”  He said his job wasn’t dangerous.  How could he have been shot?  Patrick must be wrong.  Wouldn’t she know it if he’d been shot?  Wouldn’t someone have come and told her right away?

Patrick nodded grimly.  “He’s with the doctor now.”

Malinda grabbed her shawl and threw it over her shoulders before hurrying out of the door.  “I don’t even know where the doctor’s office is!”  She’d find it, though.  If it killed her, she’d find it.  She immediately turned to the left to start searching for the doctor’s house.

Patrick took her arm and led her to his buggy.  “I’ll take you there.”  He helped her up and ran around to take his place behind the reins.  With a flick of his wrist the horses took off down the quiet street.

Malinda usually loved fall.  The smell of fresh burning wood in the air combined with the leaves changing color always put her in a festive spirit, but she’d been so busy making money this fall, she hadn’t taken the time to enjoy the change of the seasons.  She needed to slow down and enjoy her life.  She’d been so busy through her entire marriage that she hadn’t really enjoyed her husband like she should have. 

“Do you know what happened?”  Did it matter what happened?  The man she loved had been shot and was lying wounded somewhere.  “Is he going to be okay?”

Patrick shook his head.  “I don’t know anything.  There was a shootout in front of the bank this evening, but I didn’t take the time away from my duties to go out and see what was happening.  I already had to work late tonight, and I didn’t want to get home to Ellen and Jonathan any later than absolutely necessary.  I was sure Wesley had everything under control.  It wasn’t until twenty minutes later when I locked up the bank for the evening that I went out and someone told me Wesley had been involved.  And hurt.”

“Is he going to be okay?”  Please God, let him be okay.  She couldn’t live without him.  She didn’t care about the money.  He was all that mattered.

Patrick shrugged.  “I came and got you right away.  I didn’t think you’d heard, and I needed to make sure you were there with him.  You know everything I know.”

Patrick stopped the horses in front of a small wooden house on the main street of town, not far from the bank.  Malinda didn’t wait for Patrick to help her down, but instead jumped down herself and ran up to the house.  Patrick was right behind her as she knocked on the door.

Dr. Martin, whom Malinda had met at church, opened the door for them.  He held it wide and pointed to the doctor’s bed behind him where Wesley was sitting up, his left arm in a sling, his shirt hanging off him in rags.  Malinda flew to him, burying her face in his neck, sobbing softly.  “I was so worried.”

Wesley pressed his cheek against the top of her head before kissing her forehead.  “I’m fine.  You should see the other guy.”

Malinda pulled back and stared up at him, her brown eyes still wide with worry.  “What happened?”  She didn’t want to know, but she had to know.  They had to find a way to prevent it from happening again.

Wesley sighed.  “I was walking up and down the street, just like I do every evening.  I always check the bank last thing in the afternoon because that’s where we’re most likely to have problems in a town this small.”  He rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand as he talked.  “I had just received a new wanted poster at the sheriff’s office, so I’d just looked at it earlier today.  The man on the poster, Jim Madden, was there across the street, staring up at the bank and fingering his gun.  I was pretty sure it was him, but just to make certain, I pulled my gun and called out, ‘Jim?’ No one can resist responding to their own name, right?

“Well, he turned and pulled his weapon all in one move.  He got off a shot and clipped my shoulder, but I dropped him.  I made my way over to him and checked for a pulse, and he was dead.  I was losing strength, so I just sat there on the boardwalk until someone came along and offered to drive me to the doc’s office.  He got a friend to put Jim in the back, and we came here.  Doc patched me up.  Said the bullet didn’t hit anything important, and I just need to take it easy for a day or two.”

The doctor cleared his throat and Malinda turned to look at him.  “I said he needs to take it easy for six weeks.  The bone in his shoulder is broken.”

Malinda sighed.  Being off work for that long would mean they would have to use most of the money she’d saved, but she was just glad he was okay.  “I’ll make sure he takes it easy, Doctor.  Does he need to stay in bed?”  She was going to make Wesley follow the doctor’s instructions exactly.  He was not going to not heal properly because he wouldn’t stay in bed.

Dr. Martin shook his head.  “Nothing quite that strict.  After the first day or two, he can do whatever feels comfortable to him including slow walks.  Nothing more stringent than that, though.”

“I’ll see to it.”  Malinda glared down at Wesley.  “You are going to follow the doctor’s orders if it kills both of us.”

Wesley groaned.  “Are you sure I’m not so sick I need to stay here for the whole six weeks, Doc?  She’s going to treat me like an invalid.”

Dr. Martin laughed.  “Go home and let your wife coddle you sheriff.  That’s what wives do when you’ve been shot.”

“You ever been shot, Doc?” Wesley asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, no I can’t say that I have.”

“You ever been married, Doc?” Wesley asked again.

“No, I haven’t had the privilege.”

“Then I don’t think you need to be talking to me about what wives do when a man’s been shot, now do you?”

Dr. Martin ignored Wesley and looked at Patrick.  “Can you help her get him home and into bed?”

Patrick nodded, rushing forward to put his shoulder under Wesley’s good arm.  “I’m going to kill you for going to get her,” Wesley whispered to his brother.

“How were you going to hide the fact that you’d been shot from your wife?”

Wesley shrugged, and then grimaced in pain.  “I hadn’t figured that out yet, but trust me, I’d have found a way.”

Malinda stopped in front of the doctor and shook his hand.  “Thank you so much for taking care of him.  What do we owe you?”  She’d give Patrick the money and send him back with it.  There was no way she was going to leave Wesley when she finally had him home in bed where he belonged.

The doctor shook his head.  “He was hurt doing town business.  There’s no charge for that.”

Malinda’s eyes widened, but she didn’t complain. She was relieved none of her hard-earned money would have to go for Wesley’s wound.  They’d need it all to get through until he could work again. “Thank you again, Doctor.  I’ll make sure he rests.  When do you need to see him back here?”

“A couple weeks or so.  Change the bandage every night and if it starts smelling bad or turns green, let me know.”

Malinda nodded.  “I will.”  She rushed out the door behind the brothers seeing that Wesley was already settled in the front seat beside Patrick.  Patrick helped her to the back and she settled in for the ride back to the house she shared with Wesley. 

When Patrick stopped the horses, she again jumped down before Patrick could help her and stood wringing her hands while Patrick helped Wesley down from the buggy.  She wanted to help, but there was really nothing she could do without getting in the way.

Patrick took him into their bedroom and helped him into bed.  “Can you get him undressed, or do you need me to help with that?”

Malinda shook her head.  “I can handle it.  Do you want something to eat before you go home?”  She didn’t want to waste her time playing hostess with Patrick, but she couldn’t let him go home hungry.

“No, Ellen doesn’t know what happened, so she’s probably pacing the floors waiting for me.  Take care of my little brother.”

Malinda nodded, rushing into the room with Wesley while Patrick let himself out.  She helped him remove his pants, and cut what was left of his shirt off him.  “Are you hungry?”  She brushed a stray strand of hair back off his forehead, wishing she knew what to do to make him better.

Wesley nodded, stroking his hand up and down her arm.  “I am.  You didn’t forget to cook dinner tonight, did you?”

Malinda made a face and hurried into the kitchen where the stew was still on the stove staying warm.  Malinda served two bowls of stew and two glasses of water and carried them into the bedroom on a tray.  She climbed into bed beside her husband and shared his meal there on the bed.  “I’m so thankful you’re okay.”  She didn’t tell him about the heart stopping panic she’d felt while she’d waited to find out if he was all right.

Wesley grinned and took a big bite of his stew, chewing it slowly while he watched her.  “You really were worried, weren’t you?”

“Of course I was worried!  I love you!”  She hadn’t meant to blurt the words out like that.  The first time they were said, weren’t they supposed to be kissing or something?

Wesley put his spoon down and stared at her in surprise.  “You do?  Why haven’t you ever said so?”

She shook her head at him.  “Why did you think I married you when I’m afraid of being poor if I didn’t love you?  Can you think of another single reason I’d have done it?”  She made a face at him.

He laughed.  “I guess not.”  He tilted his head to the side.  “You know I love you too, right?”

“Well, I kind of figured you must to put up with all my nonsense, but I’m glad to hear you say it.”  All at once, it was as if a dam burst inside her and she started crying.  “You need to make sure you never get shot again.  Do you hear me?”  She was shaking with the fear that still coursed through her.

He almost laughed at her abrupt change in mood, but then realized she was serious.  “I understand.  I’ll be more careful.”

“No more approaching wanted men.  If you think you see one, you find someone to go after him with you!” 

He nodded just to appease her, knowing as a sheriff there was no way he could ever make sure to do that.  He reached out and took her hand in his good one, squeezing it.  “It’s going to be okay.”

She sniffed and wiped her nose with her napkin.  “I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you.”

“I know.”

“What were you thinking approaching him that way?”  She glared at him.

Wesley almost laughed at the anger in her voice.  She was going through a full range of emotions in a matter of minutes.  He knew she was shocked by what had happened, but he was truly enjoying watching the different emotions tumble through her.  “I didn’t have time to get someone else.  I had my gun out before I said his name.”

“A lot of good that did you!”  Her face turned gray.  “What if he has friends who come after you for killing him?  You have to teach me to shoot!”  She looked around the room absently.  “Where’s your gun?”

Wesley simply shook his head and leaned back against the headboard to watch as she went from angry to scared and back to angry again.  Over and over she raged at him and feared for his life.  Finally, he understood his new wife.

“Are you always this worried about things that happen around you?”

She nodded.

“Well, no wonder you were always worried about money.  You need something to worry about.”  He sighed.  “Are you going to start worrying about money again now that I’m going to be off work for a few weeks?”

She shrugged, blushing.  “Well, we can use the money I have saved to pay for bills, but I’ll probably want to replace it as soon as you’re better.”  She glared at him.  “Right now, you’re the most important thing, though.  You have to get well.”

He sighed.  “Stop worrying about money.  And stop worrying about me.  We’re going to be fine.”

After she’d cleaned up their room and washed the dishes, she helped him get comfortable before settling against his good side. 

“We’re going to be okay.  You know that, don’t you?” he asked.  When he didn’t receive an answer right away, he asked the question again louder.  Only then did he look down and see that his wife was sound asleep.

*****

Malinda was standing over Wesley with her hands on her hips the following afternoon.  “The doctor said you were going to rest, and you are going to rest if it kills us both!  You are not getting out of that bed except to take care of necessities until you’re healed!”  She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him.  “You have to get better!”

Wesley glared at her, knowing he was being unreasonable, but unable to handle spending another moment in bed.  “Just let me sit up in the parlor and read the paper.  I won’t even get dressed.”

She sighed.  “Fine, but if you try to get off the sofa for any reason, I’ll get your handcuffs and fasten you to the sofa.  Don’t think I won’t!”  She gave him a look that was meant to keep him from even thinking about disobeying her.

She helped him into the parlor and made sure that he was comfortable before running to the kitchen to get him a big bowl of chicken soup.  He’d protested that chicken soup was for sick people and not for gunshot wounds, but she’d refused to listen. 

She’d just set the soup on the small table beside him when they heard a knock at the front door.  “Don’t get up!  I will handle it.”  She glared at him when he started to stand, so he sank back down onto the sofa.

She opened the door and peeked outside.  “I’m Steven Bishop, U.S. Marshal.”  He held up a badge for her to look at and she studied it closely, still somewhat concerned Jim Madden had friends who would come and find Wesley.

She blinked.  “Are you here to see my husband?”

“Yes, ma’am.  Is he up to visitors?”

She sighed and opened the door wide.  She wanted to tell him to go away, but she knew Wesley would be upset, and right then keeping Wesley quiet and calm was the most important thing.  “Come in.”

She led the marshal, a tall man with blond hair and green eyes, to her husband.  “Can I get you some coffee?” she asked.

The marshal shook his head.  “No ma’am.  I’ll just be here for a moment.”  He turned his attention to Wesley.  “The man you killed yesterday was wanted in five states for bank robbery and multiple murders.  Were you aware of that?”

Wesley nodded.  “I received a wanted poster with his face on it just yesterday.”

The marshal frowned.  “Those posters should have been here over a week ago.”  He obviously was not happy with the slow mail into Gammonsville.

Wesley shrugged.  “It’s a small town and our mail is notoriously slow.  Doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“I guess not.”  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper.  “Here’s your reward.  Five hundred dollars.”

Wesley took it and laid it on the table in front of him.  It was a check in his name, and that’s all he needed to see.  “Thank you, Marshal.”

The marshal shook his head.  “We appreciate the good work you did bringing him down.”  He tipped his hat at Malinda.  “Take good care of him.  He saved countless lives by shooting that man yesterday.”  He nodded at Wesley.  “You have our thanks.”  Without another word, he left as quickly as he’d come.

Malinda stared at Wesley in shock.  “You didn’t tell me there’d be a reward for shooting him.”  Why hadn’t he said anything?

Wesley shrugged, a funny one armed shrug with his other arm still in the sling.  “You never asked.”

Malinda looked down at that bank draft.  “I’ll put this up.  Patrick said he’d come visit you this evening, and he can deposit it for you.”  She rushed off into the kitchen.

He watched her as she calmly put the check on the work table in the kitchen.  “Why don’t you seem more excited by the money?”

“I don’t really care about money.  I just don’t want to be destitute.  I already knew we wouldn’t be, so having more isn’t a big deal to me.”  She knew people thought she was money hungry, but the truth was, she wasn’t.  Stability mattered to her, not riches.

Wesley shook his head.  “I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.”

“You don’t have to.  You just have to eat your soup so you can heal.”  She sat down beside him, and picked up her own bowl of soup so he wouldn’t have to eat alone.

“You’re being bossy again.”

“You’re being a bad patient again.”  She took a bite of her soup and smiled at him over the top of her bowl.

“I’m glad you don’t care about the money.”

“I never did.”

Epilogue

August 1886

Malinda sat back in her chair at the kitchen table as she thought about how she wanted to respond to the letter she’d just received from Harriett Long.  She was thrilled with the other woman’s news, of course, but it was taking a minute for it all to sink in.

After a moment, she put pen to paper and wrote, “Dear Harriett, Your news has both stunned and excited me more than I could ever express.  I’m so happy you’ve found happiness at last.  Over the time I’ve known you, you’ve always seemed as if you were merely content, but I have finally read true happiness in this letter.  I can’t wait to tell Ellen.  She’s going to be just as overjoyed for you as I am.  Has she written since she had the baby?  It was a girl, and they named her Sally.  She’s a perfect little thing who looks like a porcelain doll.  Jonathan isn’t quite sure what to think of her, because she’s taking up a lot of attention from his mama that he’d come to expect.  Thank God she has Angela to help her.”  Malinda looked down at her own rounded belly.  “I have another two months to go before my little one will arrive, but Wesley and I have decided on names.  Whether it’s a boy or a girl, we’re naming it after you.  Harry if it’s a boy or Harriett if it’s a girl.  You have been such a wonderful influence in my life, I couldn’t live with myself if my firstborn wasn’t named for you.  You’re not only a dear friend, but you saved Ellen and I from the unknown.  So thank you.  I’ll close now, before I get tears all over your letter.  Much love, Malinda.”

She folded the paper in thirds and set it aside, getting slowly to her feet to set the table for dinner.  Wesley would be home any minute.  She couldn’t wait to give him Harriett’s news.