How to Sleep With Any Girl

By Adrian Gee

Table of Contents

How to Sleep With Any Gir l              

By Adrian Ge e              

Introduction :              

You Can Lear n              

Chapter 1: Gaining Confidence Before You Approac h              

Practice, Practice, Practic e              

Choose a Good Locatio n              

Keep Learnin g              

Chapter 2: Humor, Hygiene, and Smiles – Important Steps Before Looking for the Ladies             

Improve Your Physical Appearanc e              

Improve Your Hygien e              

Remember to Smil e              

A Little Humor of the Right Type Goes a Long Wa y              

Reading Social Cue s              

Do Not Fear Rejectio n              

Chapter 3: The Approac h              

Be Mentally Ready to Pick Up a Girl Anytim e              

The Right Approach for the Local e              

Observe Before the Approac h              

Develop a Topic or Two to Talk About Before Initiating a Conversatio n              

The Approach Must Be Nonthreatenin g              

The Approach Should Be Well-Time d              

Chapter 4: The Conversatio n              

Your Body Languag e              

NLP – Neuro-Linguistic Programming – What Is It and How Do You Use It ?              

Conversation Starter s              

Taboo Topic s              

Ask for an Opinio n              

You Don’t Always Have to Agre e              

Conversation Includes Listenin g              

The Power of Innuend o              

Basic Conversational Etiquett e              

Chapter 5: Make an Emotional Connectio n              

Start an Emotional Connection as Soon as Possibl e              

You Should Share, To o              

How Personal Should Your Stories Get ?              

What Is Negging and Does It Really Work ?              

Chapter 6: Make a Physical Connectio n              

What Is Anchoring ?              

Go With Her Flow Regarding Physical Connectio n              

Chapter 7: Never Be Need y              

Are You Too Needy? Signs of Needines s              

How to Stop Being Need y              

Instant Neediness Is Instant Rejection for Most Wome n              

Why Do Women Hate the Needy Man ?              

Conclusion :              

Introduction:

You are probably like many men out there. You have some trouble and trepidation when it comes to speaking with women, especially when it comes to flirting and trying to get them into bed. It’s a more common problem than you might imagine, and not everyone is a natural when it comes to charm and seduction.

However, this certainly does not mean that you can’t succeed when it comes to women. You just need to know what you can do to improve your chances, and that’s just what this book is all about.

You Can Learn

Over the course of the book, you will learn things that you need to start doing right now to make yourself appear better in the eyes of the women that you want to be with. After all, they aren’t going to want someone who is slovenly and unkempt and who doesn’t seem to have it together. This is true whether you are looking for a relationship or just a one-night stand with her.

You will learn how to approach women the right way, how to start up and have a conversation, and even how to make an emotional connection when you meet a woman. You will learn how to make the physical connection that can start to put her mind in the right place.

You will also learn why it is so important not to seem needy, along with some other tips and tricks that will help to ensure you come across as a prize, not just some schmuck who is terrible at flirting.

Best of all, you will discover that learning and implementing these techniques into your life are not as difficult as some might lead you to believe. It’s not a magic trick that helps guys get the girls. Most of the time, it’s just learning to look good, learning how to talk to and listen to women, and learning how to take things to the next level. Let’s get started, so you can seriously bump up your success rate.

Chapter 1: Gaining Confidence Before You Approach

When it comes to meeting women, you will always find that those men who are more confident are going to have far more success. It’s not about luck. It’s about becoming a more self-assured and poised man. You make your own luck.

Confidence is far more attractive to women than someone who is meek and unsure of himself, or the wallflower who stands in the corner and gazes at them creepily, hoping for that “spark” or the “look across the room” they’ve seen in all of those cheesy romance movies. Those sorts of things don’t typically happen, and the vast majority of women are not looking for the lovable loser whether it’s for a one-night stand or a long-term relationship.

You need confidence before you approach women, so you will have the confidence when you do approach them. When you know how to talk to women, and you have the right attitude, you will start to exude self-assurance. With more confidence, and plenty of practice, you will find that the techniques in this book can help you to hook up with girl that you want.

Of course, you are probably wondering just what you need to do in order to improve your confidence. Let’s look at a few steps that will start you off on the right path.

Practice, Practice, Practice

One of the biggest mistakes that a person can make in this endeavor is to start off by always trying to talk to the most gorgeous woman in the room. If you are unaccustomed to doing this, your head is going to start swimming in doubt the moment you start thinking about it. This means trouble, as many people are going to start making excuses right away as to why they can’t approach her right now. Maybe they worry about her friends, the music, their breath, whether they put on too little or too much cologne, the lighting, the phase of the moon… any number of random excuses will pop into their head and derail them from approaching her.

This is because they have not put in the time to practice talking with enough women so that they are confident enough to approach the one that they truly want to be with. So, as with anything else in life, practice is going to make perfect.

You will want to build your confidence gradually. Start making conversation with women you have no intention of picking up wherever and whenever you can. This includes people you are not attracted to. Talk with the waitress, the cashier, the bank teller, and everyone else.

You are using these opportunities to learn how to talk without getting nervous or stumbling over your words. You are learning to smile when you talk and learning to make eye contact with people.

Once you start to practice, you will definitely find that your confidence is growing and that it is becoming easier to start conversations with women you do not know. In time, you will have no problem walking across that crowded room and talking with the beautiful woman that caught your eye.

Choose a Good Location

Another great tip to help you meet the type of women that you would like, and that would make it easier to converse with, is to choose a type of venue that makes you feel at home. Perhaps you don’t like the bar or club scene, for example. This could make approaching women in these locations more difficult if you hate yelling over the music or looking like a fool on the dance floor – unless, of course, you know how to dance.

Instead of using that as an avenue for meeting women, consider classes, such as an art class or a cooking class, head to the park, a farmer’s market or grocery store, a museum… there are countless places that you could meet women outside of a bar or club. Find those locations that you enjoy, and you will find that you are more confident when it comes to approaching women and talking with them.

Keep Learning

Building your confidence is a vital initial step. Later in the book, we will be discussing more about using humor and smiles, approaching women and breaking the ice, and actually conversing with them and moving on to a physical connection.

Chapter 2: Humor, Hygiene, and Smiles – Important Steps Before Looking for the Ladies

Sure, you want to get out there and meet women who are going to be interested in you and who will want to sleep with you. However, all of the talking in the world is not going to get you anywhere, if you are humorless, gruff and hygiene-challenged. Think about it from the woman’s perspective for a bit. Would you want to go home with someone who did not take care of themselves and who was grim all of the time? Probably not.

That’s why this chapter is all about working on yourself and making yourself into a better catch before you start trying to hook up with women. By taking these steps now and making some improvements in your life, you will find that it can help you to build the confidence discussed in the first chapter. You are going to be happier with who you are and what you have to offer.

You will exude confidence, and that’s what so many women find attractive, whether they are looking for a one-night stand or someone with whom they can build a real relationship.

Improve Your Physical Appearance

We’re not talking about running out and getting plastic surgery to look like whoever the current heartthrob actor or musician is right now. It’s far simpler than that, fortunately.

You will find that even if you are an average guy, or perhaps even a somewhat less than average guy, there are plenty of things you can do that will help to change and improve your physical appearance to make you more attractive.

Physical Fitness

The first step is to make sure that you are taking good care of yourself when it comes to your physical fitness. Not only is it important for your health, but it is important for how you are perceived by women. If you are hoping to sleep with attractive women who have great bodies, you can be sure they want the same thing from the men they choose.

Whether you are highly overweight, a bit overweight, a little flabby, or nothing but skin, bones, and a little bit of muscle, you can do better. If you have the money, spend some time at the gym to shed some pounds and build muscle. You don’t need to have a six-pack, and you don’t need to look like a fitness model. You just need to make sure you are in shape and that you look good.

For some, the journey to fitness might be longer than it is for others. Perhaps you’ve neglected taking care of yourself for a while now, or perhaps fitness was never important to you. Now is the time to start getting into great shape. You are going to feel better, and you are going to look better. When this happens, you are going to be bursting with energy and confidence.

If you want to sleep with beautiful women, don’t you think it would be nice to be happy with your body, and to have that extra energy for all of those… extracurricular activities you have planned? You don’t want to get winded or get a cramp when you are having sex. That would be rather embarrassing, don’t you think?

So, how do you start to get in shape? It really depends on what you need to do. Are you trying to lose weight and build muscle? Are you skinny and want to pack on some muscle? You can go to the gym if you have one in your area and can afford it, or you could work out at home. Hike, swim, walk, run, and find as many ways to be active in your life as you can. You don’t have to spend a lot of money getting into good shape. Calisthenics and body weight exercises can work wonders.

The goal of this book is not to give you a bunch of workout plans that you can use. Instead, we’re teaching you how to pick up and sleep with women. Getting into shape is just one of the aspects you will have to consider.

There are plenty of books and websites dedicated to helping men get into proper shape. Find several that appeal to you and that have positive reviews with people who have gotten good results, and then follow those plans.

Just make sure you follow through with the plan and put in the time and effort it takes to get into shape before you start trying to strut around a club and pick up women. It’s not likely to work unless you have at least a passable body. The better shape you are in the easier it will be. Women want someone who’s attractive, and it’s your job to make sure you fit the bill.

Diet and Nutrition

Remember that physical fitness is about far more than just working out. You also need to think about the foods that you are eating if you want to get into the best shape possible. If you want to put on muscle and cut out the flab from your body, it means eating right with quality protein sources and fresh fruits and vegetables. You want to choose these foods over processed foods.

That’s not to say that you can never have some of those unhealthy foods that you love, just that if you want to get into shape and stay in shape – which helps you stay on top of your game when it comes to picking up women – you might need to seriously consider your food choices. Again, the right foods help to give you plenty of energy, which helps with working out, not to mention having staying power when it comes to women.

Proper nutrition can also help to make your skin look and feel better to the touch, which can help make you appear young and strong. Bad nutrition can often cast a sickly appearance on people, even if they are those folks who can “eat anything and not gain weight”. Think about the foods you are putting into your mouth, along with how much you are eating, and staying in shape and attractive is going to be much easier for you.

Better Clothes and Shoes

In addition to getting your body into shape, you need to think about other aspects of your outward appearance. This certainly includes the clothes and shoes that you are wearing.

People say that you should never judge a book by its cover. However, it’s human nature to do just that. People judge based on appearances, and there’s nothing you can do about that. If you were to see an unkempt woman in ragged, dirty sweatpants, wearing an old baggy t-shirt, and with a cigarette dangling out of her mouth, you are probably not going to think she’s the most attractive woman in the room.

Now, think about it from a woman’s perspective. If you have holes in your clothes, ratty shoes with frayed laces, and stains on your clothes that just won’t come off, why would she be interested? You can’t wear your favorite Velcro sneakers everywhere, no matter how comfy they might feel. You are not a professional hobo, so don’t dress like it.

Sure, if you are just lounging around the house, wear whatever you want. Be comfortable. When you head out, though, whether you are heading to the gym, to work, to the store, or you are going out to a bar, movie, museum, or wherever you might be heading, dress appropriately.

You don’t have to run out and spend all your money on new clothing – at least most people don’t. You probably have a few things around the house that you can wear that look nice and that make you look great . That last bit is the most important. You want clothes that work well for you and that make you look as good as possible.

Maybe you do need to spend a bit of money getting some clothes that fit better on your body. This is certainly true if you have been working out and getting into better shape, as mentioned. If you aren’t sure exactly what you should be wearing to look good or the type of clothing that will work best for you, talk about it with some friends.

If you have some friends who are women, and hopefully you do, they can provide you with some great suggestions. If you aren’t sure who you should be asking, then you can always spend some time talking with people in the clothing shop. They can certainly help, but don’t fall into the trap of buying shoes and clothing items that are more expensive than you really need.

Now that you have started to think about your physical fitness and health, and you’ve started to look at your wardrobe to see what you need to buy, it’s time that we talked about hygiene.

Improve Your Hygiene

Everyone who is an adult and who has managed to get through their awkward teen years should have at least a basic grounding of hygiene and how important it truly is if you want to attract women. However, it does still bear repeating here because there are plenty of men – too many, in fact – out there who do not care one iota about their grooming. Yet, they still wonder why they aren’t attracting the women that they want and why they can never seem to get laid.

Like those who are grossly out of shape and who are wearing rags to pick up women, these men often believe that it’s the fault of those women for not “seeing past their faults.” That’s complete and utter BS. Guys who take care of themselves are smart enough to know that’s what women are looking for.

It doesn’t matter if it’s just a one-night stand or a relationship. If you stink, if you have fuzz on your teeth, and if you have a wild tangle of untamed hair sprouting off your face, back, and shoulders, you aren’t going to get women. And you shouldn’t. Have some pride and take care of your hygiene.

Get into a routine for hygiene and stick to it. Honestly, it’s very simple, and it might amaze you how many men really don’t seem to care. Here are some simple yet vital grooming and hygiene tips and reminders for men.

·         Wear deodorant – Wear it every damned day, and maybe add some twice a day if you need it. You want a pleasant fragrance for the deodorant and antiperspirant, but not something that is going to be overwhelming.

·         Wash your face – You should wash your face twice per day. Washing helps to make sure that your face is clean and is not going to break out. Stay away from using soap, body scrubs, and body gels on the face, as these can dry and irritate the skin. Use a facial cleanser instead.

·         Brush your teeth – You want to brush your teeth three times per day. Do it in the morning after breakfast, after lunch, and before you head to bed. This keeps the teeth in good shape, and it helps you to maintain a white smile. I’d recommend activated charcoal by teethwhiteningsolutions.com. Your smile is important, as you’ll see later in this chapter.

·         Floss – Brushing is important, but don’t forget just how important it is to floss, as well. Floss at least once per day, as well as whenever you feel as though something might be stuck between your teeth. If you plan to kiss a woman, you really need to make sure your teeth and breath are on point. Otherwise, it’s going to be a no go.

·         Change your damned underwear – Sure, you change your underwear daily… but do you always? Are there days where you just say, “screw it, good enough” and head out into the wide world. Do you always change your underwear directly after you’ve had a workout? Always change your underwear. No one needs to have that musk offending their nostrils. Imagine getting a woman back to your place or hers and then she realizes that you have on dirty, stinky underwear. That’s going to be a serious turn off.

·         Wash your clothes – Just because you sniff your shirts or pants and don’t think they stink and you don’t see any stains does not mean they are clean. Get into the habit of washing your clothes regularly and hang and fold them properly so they do not get any wrinkles.

·         Shower twice a day, at least – You should shower in the morning before you head out, as well as at night after a long day. In addition, make sure that you shower after you have been working out. It’s better for your skin, and it ensures you don’t have any leftover funk on you after the gym. If you are going to be going out where you could meet someone – which is just about anywhere – make sure you are clean and fresh before you leave the house.

·         Clip your nails – Take a look at your fingernails and then your toenails. Having trimmed nails is something that women often look for when they are talking to a man that piques their interest. If the nails are long enough to hold dirt, then they are simply too long. If the toenails are starting to curl over the edges, then they are far too long. No, this doesn’t mean that you need to invest in a manicure or pedicure. It just means you need to take a minute each day to check your nails and make sure they aren’t out of hand.

·         Shave or trim the beard – Having facial hair is fine; so long as you keep it groomed and trimmed properly. Use beard oil and other products to make sure it is in good shape, and to make sure it doesn’t stink. Yes, some men have bushy beards that stink, and that’s going to be a big turn off for most women. When it comes to having facial hair, something else that you will want to remember is that not all women like it. By having a beard or a mustache, you are limiting the number of women who may immediately find you attractive. Think about whether you really need a beard or not.

·         Grooming below the neck and the belt – Please keep in mind that you want to groom all your areas, including the ones that she can’t see when you first meet. If you are so covered in body hair that you could be mistaken for Sasquatch if you go for a jog without your shirt, it might be time to shave that away, so people can see you are human beneath. You will also want to consider grooming the pubic area for when you do find a woman who wants to sleep with you. It shouldn’t look like the Black Forest from Grimm’s Fairy Tales down there. Keep it tight.

These simple tips really will help you stand head and shoulders above many men out there who just don’t seem to care about their grooming. You want to have every advantage possible, so make proper grooming a part of your life.

Remember to Smile

Smiling is important if you want to pick up women. Someone who looks dour and grumpy is going to find that it is far more difficult to get women to spend time wanting to talk with them. After all, who wants to be with someone who looks unhappy? You aren’t Batman, so brooding is not going to bring about the results that you want.

You need to smile.

However, you also need to know how to smile . There are right and wrong ways to do it, believe it or not. What types of smiles are bad? Well, the creepy, leering smile for starters. This type of smile is going to set anyone on edge very quickly, and you aren’t a seedy villain from an 80s movie. The “sudden” smile when you notice a woman looking in your direction is also a bad idea. If you go from a neutral position to a smile in a fraction of a second, she’s going to wonder what’s wrong with you.

The best type of smile is the natural smile. The smile needs to be organic for it to “land”, and that means you need to learn to be a happier person. Smile more often and make it natural. It will show that you are a happy and confident person, and that tends to be the type of man that many women want to be around and with.

It also means that you are naturally going to be smiling more, and this will catch the eye of many women. They will often smile back, and this will give you a chance to turn the smile into an approach and actual conversation. It doesn’t always mean it’s going to go further than that, but it is certainly going to help make it easier to continue approaching and talking to women.

A Little Humor of the Right Type Goes a Long Way

You are funny. Well, at least you think you are funny, and maybe some of your friends tell you that you are. However, the things that you tend to find funny may not always be the same things that most women are going to find funny. Sometimes they are, and sometimes they aren’t.

When you are first approaching a woman, it’s best to keep the humor a bit more cerebral and a lot less juvenile. Most women aren’t going to laugh at your fart jokes when they first meet you, even if they do secretly find them funny. They want to know that you have a bit more going on than that.

To use humor effectively when you are talking with women, you will first want to make sure you have brushed up on your social skills. The jokes that you tell can and should be topical to your location, and the conversation. Try to implement the humor naturally and make it help to further connect the two of you, even though you just met. They should be funny without being overly offensive, and they should certainly never be demeaning, especially toward her.

Sure, those types of jokes might sometimes work, but it’s rare, and it is telling about the personality of the woman who enjoys those types of jokes.

Don’t Use Pickup Lines

Some people will tell you that pickup lines still work, but the truth of the matter is that they generally don’t. In fact, pickup lines are more likely to get you some eye rolls and cold shoulders than the effect you are hoping for.

Pickup lines are a dime a dozen, and when you use them, you are telling her that she is no more special than the countless other women who have heard the line in the past. Treat women like the unique humans they are and come up with better ways to speak to them and connect with them.

Putting in the extra effort to learn how to talk with women and inject humor naturally is going to go a long way in helping you with women.

Reading Social Cues

It is also essential that you understand how to read body language and social cues from women. If you can’t, it means that you are going to continue telling jokes that she does not want to hear or saying things that she finds inappropriate. Each woman is unique, and you need to learn how to read what she’s saying not only with her words, but with the expressions on her face and the way she holds herself around you.

For example, if she’s looking around at everyone but you in the room, she could be looking for a way to get away from you. If her body language shows that she’s closing herself off from you, and your conversation and techniques don’t change the way she feels, she’s going to get up and leave. If she starts to ignore you entirely, well, she probably doesn’t want anything to do with you.

Some social cues are subtle, and others are blatant. Learn to look for them, understand them, and respect them. There will be times when you feel that your game is on point and that you should be doing well with the woman you are talking to, but her words, face, and body language are telling you a different story.

Always listen to her.

It’s better that you smile and excuse yourself. She’s going to feel more comfortable, and you are no longer going to be wasting your time trying to get a woman that does not want anything to do with you. That brings us to the final point in this chapter.

Do Not Fear Rejection

Sometimes, you are going to get rejected. It happens to those who are in the best shape, who have the model looks, and the charming smile and wit that women tend to want. There could be any number of reasons that she’s not interested and that she rejects you.

It happens .

You shouldn’t be disheartened by it, even though it can feel rotten to endure that feeling of rejection. Use it as a learning experience. Think about what you said and did, how you approached her, and how you acted around her. Often, you can pinpoint one or more things that you might have said or done that made her reject your advances.

Did you do something stupid like try to grope her? Did you spend your time only talking about yourself? Were you telling inappropriate jokes? Did you not understand the social cues? If there is something that you did to make her upset, learn from it. Don’t do stupid things.

Of course, there’s always the chance that she simply rejected you for no reason that you can determine. She could already have a boyfriend and not be into cheating, for example. Perhaps she just didn’t find you attractive. Everyone has preferences, and you might not be hers. That’s okay.

It’s Not Her Fault

Never get upset at a woman for rejecting you. Don’t insult her regardless of what she might have said, don’t raise your voice like an idiot, and never threaten someone. If you do, you are only going to look like more of a fool – a needy and weak fool at that – and you might very well find that you have a rather large bouncer coming your way to roughly haul you out of the bar or club.

Rejection happens to everyone , so just learn to accept it and move on like a big boy. You will have plenty of other chances to find women who are interested in you.

In the following chapters, we will talk more about what you will be doing once you have gotten past the initial barrier of social anxiety when it comes to talking with women and how to approach them, converse with them, and make a connection. Still, even after everything seems to be going well, there is still the chance of rejection. Never let it get you down.

Chapter 3: The Approach

The way you approach women is going to make all the difference in the world as to how they are going to react to you. First impressions matter, and so do second impressions. If you’ve taken heed of the advice in the first and second chapters and made sure that you look good and smile, you can talk to women without feeling nervous, and you are feeling confident; the first part of the approach is easy.

It's the actual walking up to her and beginning the conversation that tends to be the more difficult aspect of it, and that’s what this chapter is all about. Getting ready for and making the approach. Think of it as an airplane analogy. If you are a pilot, and you don’t make the correct approach, you are not going to land on the runway.

Be Mentally Ready to Pick Up a Girl Anytime

One of the big mistakes that many men make is that they look at picking up women as something they are going to do when they are at the club or when they are at a party. They mentally prepare for those situations only , and they are missing out on some wonderful opportunities. Don’t be like those guys.

While there may be more women at the clubs and bars who are looking for a guy, which can improve your chances, it also means you are going to be facing quite a bit more when it comes to competition in those locations. Sure, you can and should still go to those places if you are looking for women, but do not limit yourself only to those locations.

Let’s look at some of the other locations and see how and why they might work well for you.

·         Supermarkets

·         Banks

·         While walking around a retail store

·         Any line that you are standing in where there is a gorgeous woman in front of you or behind you… provided she’s not with her boyfriend or husband

·         Open-air markets

·         Cafés and coffee shops

·         Bookstores, assuming you can still find them

·         Museums and art galleries

·         The dog park if you have a dog or are watching a dog for a friend; otherwise, it just seems weird

These are just a few of the potential locations where you might meet women. It doesn’t mean that when you meet them they are going to go home with you right away, of course. Even in the clubs and bars, where this is more likely to happen, it’s still somewhat rare. Simply strike up conversation after approaching them and see where the conversation leads. It could lead to getting a number or even setting up a date.

You don’t want to miss these opportunities, so always be mentally prepared to go into the approach and talk to the women that you see and that catch your eye. Sometimes they will want to talk, sometimes they won’t. It never hurts to try, but always be respectful of her time and space.

If you have been practicing your small talk with everyone you meet, whether you are attracted to them or not, you will find that it tends to be easy to get over that initial awkwardness when you are approaching a hot woman. That is because you have confidence .

The Right Approach for the Locale

Since we mentioned that you can pick up women in a wide range of places, it is important to remember that the way in which you approach the woman is going to be different based on where you are. While many of the techniques of talking to a woman and striking up a conversation with her are going to be the same no matter where you are, quite a few things can differ.

These include the types of things you say and the topics that you plan to bring up to talk about, naturally. You can’t ask a woman to dance at the museum, for example. Well, you could, but things are not likely to go over well for you because you will look like you’ve lost your mind. Think about where you are and then craft your approach accordingly.

Observe Before the Approach

When you see a beautiful woman that you would like to get to know better, whether it’s for a one-night stand or something more, it’s important that you first take a moment to observe what she’s doing. This doesn’t mean leer at her like she’s a piece of meat and you haven’t eaten in days.

Instead, you simply want to make some quick observations of what she’s doing, who she’s with, and what her general mood at the time seems to be. Is she with some of her friends? Is she with someone who could be a boyfriend or husband? Is she by herself and perhaps waiting for someone? What does the general mood or attitude seem to be?

All this information can help you understand whether you should approach, and how to approach when you do. Just a few seconds of solid observation of the situation before you make your move can be extremely helpful.

Develop a Topic or Two to Talk About Before Initiating a Conversation

Once you have observed briefly, it can often give you some ideas of things that you might be able to bring up in the conversation once you initiate speaking to her. If she’s in a bookstore, for example, and you see that she’s checking out the mystery titles or the photography titles, this will automatically give you something that you can talk about.

If you do happen to be at a bar, you could ask her what the best drink at the place might be, or what she’s drinking. If you are at an art gallery, a festival, a museum, or other similar location, you could ask her about the art or exhibit she’s looking at, or about any other number of things that seem relevant to the location at the time.

Make sure you have a few topics that you could talk about, so you are not stumbling over your words when you finally make your way over to her. Remember just how important those first impressions really are.

The Approach Must Be Nonthreatening

You must also think about how you approach the woman, or group if she is out with some friends. You need to have that natural smile that we discussed earlier, and you need to make sure your approach is not seen as threatening. Women deal with men approaching them and talking to them all the time and not all men show the women the respect they deserve.

There are plenty of uncouth men out there who say the wrong things and who believe that being confrontational is going to get them what they want. This sucks for those women, and for you, since you need to work extra hard to show them that you aren’t like those idiots. Even if you are just looking to sleep with her, and hope she just wants to sleep with you too, there needs to be trust and respect.

Therefore, make your approach friendly and nonthreatening. A solid, friendly approach really will help to increase your chances of moving past the initial hello into an actual conversation.

The Approach Should Be Well-Timed

Also, you need to make sure that you think about the timing of your approach. If she is engaged in conversation with her friends and not paying attention to everything else that’s happening, your approach could be construed as an unwelcome intrusion. You want to make sure that there is room for the approach, and that you can get her attention without being too much of a bother.

You will find that many women put in headphones when they are at a café or at the gym because they really don’t want to be bothered. Choose the time and place to approach carefully, and always be ready to be turned away or rejected. It’s a fact of life. If you keep at it and are smart about your approaches and take the other advice in this book, you will find that you are going to have more success.

Chapter 4: The Conversation

For many men, the advice in the first part of the book tends to be simple enough. They understand the concept, and they know they must improve their social interaction prowess if they hope to stand any chance with women. However, they still have quite a bit of dread when it comes to starting a conversation with the beautiful girl they’ve seen.

Your Body Language

Body language is a very important aspect of conversation, but it is often overlooked. If you don’t think about, and work to perfect your body language, it will be to your detriment. Good body language is about more than merely standing up straight. It needs to complement the words that are coming out of your mouth.

Having eye contact is very important. More eye contact, so long as it is not leering eye contact , is better than less eye contact. Smile while you are making eye contact, and don’t look away unless you have smiled. When you are talking to the woman, remember to look into her eyes and not ogle her body, no matter how hot you might think she is.

You should also try to adopt an open stance. This simply means that you want to make sure your arms and legs are uncrossed. Keep your head up and your shoulders back. This position will make you seem more open and confident rather than closed off. When you seem relaxed and receptive, you will find that she’s often going to be more open to speaking to you.

You can also lean in slightly when you are listening to what she has to say, as it will help to show that you are interested. When you speak, always make sure that you speak clearly. Speak confidently and without hesitation and without saying “uh” and “um” all the time.

Body language is discussed further in the following section on NLP.

NLP – Neuro-Linguistic Programming – What Is It and How Do You Use It?

Neuro-linguistic programming, or NLP, is often used in the fields of therapy since it was created in the 1970s. However, it can also be used to good effect when talking with women. It’s about trying to condition someone to seeing you in a positive light, and it’s easier to do than you might think.

First, you will want to consider the words that you are using. You want to strive to keep your language as positive as possible. If you utilize positive words, even when discussing something negative, it can help to keep the conversation’s mood upbeat. Try to use positive words and terms and reframe negative things as positively as possible. This can help her to see you positively.

Mirroring

When you mirror someone, you are subtly mimicking aspects about them, which they will not notice. However, they will subconsciously feel more like they know you or can trust you. Mirroring is simple, but it takes practice to get just right and to make sure it is not too obvious.

Some of the elements that can be mirrored include:

·         Body language, such as gestures and how they are sitting

·         Tempo of the speech

·         Vocabulary choice

·         Facial expressions

·         Pitch and volume

These are the added touches that you will want to add to your conversations. They can help to make a connection and build rapport faster than just talking to the person. When you are first starting out using the mirroring technique in conversation with women, it is a good idea to start slowly and only add one or two elements at a time until you have become comfortable mirroring without it being too obvious.

Conversation Starters

In the last chapter, you learned that you should always have some conversation ideas in place when you are going to approach a woman. Having conversation starters is essential, and it is a good idea to have some topics that you know a bit about and have talked about a lot in the past, which can help to get and keep the conversation flowing. You can move onto other topics later once you know that she’s interested.

Some common topics that you can use include:

·         Friends

·         Work

·         Hobbies and interests

·         Travel

·         Goals and aspirations

·         Current location/setting

The topics that you choose are often going to be dependent on the setting, which was mentioned earlier. You might, for example, want to make observations about your surroundings, or even her. You could talk about the drinks, food, other people, the music, and similar topics.

You have an endless world of topics that you can talk about, so have fun and get creative. Always make sure that you have answers to the types of questions that you ask, as well. If you talk with her about travel and where she has been, you should have an interesting travel story or two, as well. The same is true about any topic that you bring up. If she answers the question and asks you the same or something similar in return, and you just stare blankly, she’s going to lose interest rather quickly.

Talking About Her

If you are going to talk about her, there are two different tactics that you could use. The one that tends to work best is a compliment on something she’s wearing, her hair, etc. The second (which often ends up in a rejection) is to talk about her body right away. Starting out a conversation using this latter method does not usually end as well as many men might hope. You want to have a little bit of class, after all.

Wait, What If You Are Boring?

It’s time to stop being boring.

If you are the type of person who doesn’t do anything interesting and doesn’t have anything interesting to say, you are going to have some trouble. You won’t have anything to talk about, and women are not going to want to be with a dullard unless it is for a one-night stand and you also happen to be remarkably good looking.

You should start to change some aspects of yourself if you feel you are dull and don’t have much to talk about. Get out and start leading a more interesting life. Start up a new hobby, meet new people, go to a class, travel more often, join a club, and simply do more. Not only will this give you more subjects that you can talk about with some level of knowledge, but you will find that it can help you to meet more women who are going to these same types of places and doing similar things.

Taboo Topics

If you are going to be flirting with a girl that you’d like to sleep with, whether you want to date or just have a fling or one-night stand, you need to be aware that there are certain topics you shouldn’t bring up or discuss. It’s mostly basic common sense, but some people will talk about them anyway.

What types of topics should you avoid? It’s a good idea to avoid anything that’s political or religious, for example. Avoid negative topics that are going to spoil the mood you are trying to set. Consider all the topics that could be considered offensive and avoid them.

Like everyone, you have your opinions about them. She does, too, and they might not be in line with yours. Those aren’t the sorts of things that you are going to want to talk about when you are trying to sleep with her.

Ask for an Opinion

Let’s say that you are in the grocery store, and you see a woman in the produce section. You could start a conversation by asking her the best way to check whether or not a melon is ripe.

The same technique could be used for other types of products whether or not you are in a grocery store. It is simply a way to get her to speak to you, and you can then use the opening to lead into other topics to learn a bit more about her. This leads to further potential conversation ideas, which will make it easier for you to keep conversation flowing.

The opinion that you ask for could be about anything, even if you may not really need the opinion. With this technique, it’s about breaking the ice. Once you have started the conversation, you can then start to bring that conversation into other areas to further it along.

You Don’t Always Have to Agree

One of the mistakes that many men make once they have initiated a conversation with a woman they find to be very attractive is to simply agree with everything that she says. They feel that by being so agreeable, it will help to win her over… but that’s not typically the case. If all you do is fawn over her and agree with whatever she says, she’s not going to respect you. This doesn’t mean that you should disagree just because , of course.

If you honestly disagree, then you can make it known, but you still need to make that a respectful disagreement. This can allow for some more stimulating and interesting conversation. If you can stimulate her mind, even with a disagreement, you just might be able to stimulate one another later.

Agreeing on some things is great, but if you are exactly the same as her, she’s not likely to find you very interesting. You are your own person, and that means you aren’t always going to be on the same page about everything. That’s okay. After all, the saying opposites attract is very true.

Conversation Includes Listening

A conversation is not about just waiting for your turn to speak. You want to make sure that you spend just as much time honestly listening as you do talking. When you are actively listen to what she’s saying, you will know what to say next and where the conversation is going.

Active Listening

Active listening can help you to connect with women in a relatively short time, and in some cases, it can help with the emotional connection, which we will discuss in the following chapter. It can let the woman know that you “get” what she is saying, and it’s relatively simple to use.

Let’s look at how you can use active listening to help you with women.

·         She tells you how she feels about something or what she thinks about something.

·         You then ask her why she feels this way.

·         You then repeat back to her in your own words the way she feels based on the information that she just gave you.

You are listening to what she said, and then using that information to show her that you understand why she feels this way. You don’t necessarily have to agree with what she said, but you are letting her know that you “get” her because you’ve used her own words to indicate that. It shows that not only do you understand her, but you are also listening to her.

This seems simple because it is, and it can help with just about any conversation that you have. The common mistakes that people make when they are listening is that they try to guess or assume what the person is trying to say rather than listening and figuring out what they really mean.

When you use active listening, it will put you ahead of the other men out there who are only waiting to hear themselves say something next or who simply make assumptions about what the woman is trying to say.

The Power of Innuendo

There is a certain segment of men out there who tell other men that you need to be very upfront about sex and wanting to have sex if you want success.  While there are certainly some women out there with whom this will work well, that’s certainly not true of most women. Women aren’t always as graphic, at least openly, when it comes to talking about sex. Instead, they tend to be more responsive to innuendo, and that’s something that you will want to master, as well.

It will be very clear what you are talking about, but you are doing it in a way that’s wrapped up in a bit more class than the guy in the purple top hat who comes dancing her way and says, “Hey, wanna screw?”

So, what’s innuendo and how do you use it? It’s a way of turning the conversation sexual without it coming across as creepy or overly aggressive like Mr. Purple Top Hat. Innuendo tends to be clever, and it is a way to get her thinking about sex, which can help her to get turned on.

Innuendo means talking about something that is nonsexual in a way that makes it seem sexual and using certain words that can imply the idea of sex without coming out and saying it. Words like hot, hard, erect, wet, and the like can work well when they are used in seemingly innocent and innocuous ways that can be taken another way.

Moving on from Innuendo

Eventually, you can move the talk from innuendo to actually talking about sex. Before you do this, though, it’s a good idea to watch her and listen to her to see how she is responding to the innuendo. Does she get it and think it's funny? Does she add to the conversation with her own innuendo? Does she seem uncomfortable or put off by the talk? Is her body language more closed off? These are cues that you can use to know when it is time to turn it up a notch and when it is time to dial it back for a bit.

If there is a back and forth talking around sex in this way, then you might want to actually talk about sex in a flirty way with her. Again, you will want to watch for those same types of social cues – facial expression, body language, etc. – to see if it is getting you anywhere or if it’s a waste of time.

Basic Conversational Etiquette

You also need to make sure that you pay attention to basic etiquette when it comes to having a conversation with women. In addition to becoming a good listener and having some topics in your back pocket that you can bring out when needed, keep in mind the following advice:

·         Make sure the level of your voice is appropriate for the setting

·         Do not interrupt her or speak over her

·         You can swear, but don’t do it too much

·         Be polite

·         Remember to be respectful

·         Avoid negative phrasing

·         Don’t fight to get control of the conversation

These are some simple things to consider when you are conversing with women. Like all other aspects of picking up women, it will become easier the more you do it. You will learn the things that work for you and those that don’t, slowly perfecting your approach and the way that you converse.

Chapter 5: Make an Emotional Connection

Let’s be honest. If you are looking for a one-night stand, and you find a woman who is looking for the same thing, you aren’t going to need to have much of an emotional connection. You are attracted to one another, and the only thing that matters is the moment, and the next few hours.

However, most of the time, it’s going to take a date or three before she decides that she wants to sleep with you. From your first encounter, on through any dates that you do go on, you are going to want to work on building an emotional connection with her.

If you do not build this connection, at least a foundation, during the first conversation, there’s a good chance she’s going to forget all about you by the time you get around to texting her in a day or two.

Start an Emotional Connection as Soon as Possible

You must learn how to build an emotional connection with women as early on as possible. It is one of the most important skills to have. Fortunately, we’ve already covered the first major part of this connection earlier. Having good communication skills and knowing how to converse are vital if you want to build an emotional connection with women.

Talking with them and spending as much or more of your time actively listening is going to give you an advantage when it comes to creating that fast, emotional connection. They will feel as though you understand them.

Show curiosity in who she is and what she has to say. Being genuinely curious about her can prove to be something she finds very attractive, and it can help to make the emotional connection easier. Instead of just trying to connect with her on an intellectual or logical level, you want to create that emotional connection.

How do you do this? When you are talking with her, ask her not only what she wants to do in life, but why she wants to do those things. Why is she so passionate about them? Get her to talk about those things that she loves and that are important to her and show her that you love her passion and want to know more. This is a fast way to start building a connection.

You Should Share, Too

It’s great to get her to open up about the things that are important to her and that she holds dearly, and you will want to do the same. It’s reciprocal, something of a give and take. She’s opened up and now it is your turn to do the same thing. This lets her get more insight into who you are and shows her that she’s getting to know more about you – the real you.

This is the way that humans assess one another whether they are friends, in search for a real relationship, or they are looking for a fast relationship… well, a short-term fling or one-night stand.

Talk about the things that you want and the things that you fear. Talk about some secrets that you have, and things that have made you emotional in the past. Just don’t get overly sappy, as this can come across as being weak.

How Personal Should Your Stories Get?

The answer to this question is really going to depend on your overall intent and what the woman wants. Are the two of you only looking for a fling that’s not really going to go anywhere? If that’s the case, it doesn’t generally matter quite as much about telling deep and personal stories. You can still develop an emotional connection that’s fast and still at the surface level when you talk about some of the things that you are passionate about in life.

However, those who are looking for more than just sex with a girl once or twice, and who are hoping to find a longer relationship, going a bit deeper with the stories that you tell for emotional connection is generally a good idea. You just don’t want to go too deep too fast (how’s that for innuendo, by the way.)

Creating the connection with a woman who you want to spend a lot more time with requires that you share personal stories. Not only does this add to the conversations you have with one another, but also allows her to get a much better sense of who you really are and what you want in life. The same is true when she shares stories with you. These can help you to develop a better understanding of one another, and it can further develop the emotional connection.

What Is Negging and Does It Really Work?

Negging is a term that’s used by men who throw negativity at the woman they are trying to sleep with. They might use an insult or a backhanded compliment on the woman. It’s a way to degrade them and make them feel insecure, which supposedly makes them feel “lucky” to have caught your eye.

Here’s the truth of the matter that many PUAs simply won’t tell you. This type of tactic is typically only going to work on one kind of woman – someone who is already emotionally insecure. Some men use it only to get what they want, and even then, it doesn’t always work. They are just hurting someone who already needs constant approval.

Remember what was discussed earlier about being positive? You will find that positivity is going to work much better for you. This doesn’t mean you have to fawn over the woman – that shows you as being too needy. However, not being a total jackass really does work in your favor.

Not to mention, the term and technique of negging is no longer a secret. Many women know exactly what a man is doing when they start using it. They might even string the man along for a bit, just to waste his time. Negging is not only a rotten way to treat someone; it’s not going to work for you in most cases.

Put the shoe on the other foot for a second. If a woman showed interest in you and then started to insult you or say something like, “for being so short, you aren’t too bad looking”, how would you respond? You’d probably be pissed, and you wouldn’t want much to do with her, unless you were just looking for a quickie that you could forget. Women are thinking the same thing when they get negged by someone.

This chapter is about creating an emotional connection, not breaking someone down. Stay away from negging, keep positive, and implement all of the other aspects in this book for the best results.

Chapter 6: Make a Physical Connection

In this chapter, we are going to delve into making a physical connection with the women long before you sleep with her. This is done with a technique called anchoring . It works well with the emotional connection techniques that were discussed in the last chapter. It can help to solidify the connection and move things toward the next level.

When you have initiated the conversation with the woman, you can slowly add in this technique. This minor physical connection can often lead to something more and it’s a way to help get her mind in the mood. It’s also easy to do, and it utilizes the techniques of NLP discussed earlier in a way that incorporates touch.

What Is Anchoring?

The goal of anchoring, or emotional anchoring as it is often called, is to create a trigger that’s attached to an emotion in the woman. Once the connection is made, it is possible to use the trigger to create the emotional state. You want the woman to have good thoughts of you – smiles and giggles. With anchoring, this is possible. It sounds far more difficult to accomplish than it truly is.

Here’s what you need to do. When you are talking with the woman and making her smile or laugh, you will touch her hand, shoulder, arm, knee, etc. at the same time. This way, she will eventually think about your touch whenever she experiences those pleasant feelings.

This is a good way to create that quick emotional and physical bond with someone. You need to make sure that the emotional anchor you are creating is always associated with something good and relaxed. You want her to feel that when she’s thinking about you. It helps to connect you faster.

You can also use this technique when you are utilizing innuendo or talking about sex. By introducing the touch early, it becomes natural. It also means that when she is touched again by you, or when she thinks about the things you’ve said, she will have those same feelings that she had at the time.

While emotional anchoring can work for the long-term, you can also use it with a one-night stand. You want her to associate your touch with happiness and pleasure, and this is going to make her more willing to entertain the idea of having sex with you.

In addition, try to make eye contact with her when you touch her. Whether she’s laughing from a joke you told or she’s giggling from something dirty that you just said, having that touch connection along with eye contact can be quite powerful. It can release hormones in the body that she finds pleasurable, and you certainly want to be associated with that kind of pleasure.

Go With Her Flow Regarding Physical Connection

Everyone has a different feeling about being touched when they are in conversation with someone they’ve only recently met. If you’ve approached properly, you are having a good conversation, and she is showing interest, it typically means that she’s going to be okay with a touch on the hand, shoulder, etc.

However, this doesn’t give you the right to grope her. You also need to be aware of her body language when it comes to the light touching that you are doing. If she continues to pull away or move your hand away, then respect those boundaries. If you don’t respect them, it’s not a matter of you “being a man who knows what he wants”, it’s assault, and you can be brought up on charges. If she’s not okay with being touched, you don’t do it.

Most of the time, if she is showing signs that she’s attracted to you, she’s going to be touching you back. This is a very good sign. It means that you are getting closer to moving things to the next level, and they should progress more easily.

However, now is not the time to forget everything else that you’ve learned. You still need to be on point when it comes to conversing with her and listening to her. You need to look good and make eye contact. You also need to listen to the words she’s saying and the body language cues she is giving you. She will decide what the limits and barriers are, and it is your responsibility as a good man to respect them.

Chapter 7: Never Be Needy

Few things can turn off a woman as fast as finding out that the man she thought she was attracted to is actually needy. Showing your interest in a woman and paying attention to her is something that you should certainly do. However, this becomes a serious problem when your affection for her becomes warped to the point of becoming desperate and needy. This is unattractive and weak, and it could even make her think that you don’t trust her.

When you’ve just met someone, this is an immediate turn off and a sign that there is probably something wrong with you. She’s not going to want to go any further with you, and you can count yourself as lucky if you were able to sleep with her before she discovered. Neediness is not attractive. Repeat that to yourself like a mantra, so you have it ingrained in your head.

Women are more attracted to emotional strength and emotional security. They are turned off by the weakness exhibited by someone who is needy and clingy. It is a sign that you do not have confidence with women, and that is often a subconscious indicator to women that you would not be a good mate.

Some men are needy because they feel that they need to have approval… constantly. Those men diminish power in a conversation or a relationship. It can also be a form of seeking attention, and this gets to be very annoying to women after a while. To them, it almost seems as if you are a child seeking the attention of their mother. That’s the last thing that you want.

Are You Too Needy? Signs of Neediness

Some people might not even realize that they are needy and that it is turning women away from them. They might be able to start a relationship only to have it fall apart after a week or so. It could be because you are showing signs of being overly needed. Let’s look at some of the signs of neediness .

·         You try to steal her time – You don’t want her to do anything but spend time with you, and you will try to find ways to make sure that every waking minute is spent with you. You even bargain with her to spend more time with you.

·         Stalking social media – If you are spending time on her social media pages finding out what she’s doing, where she is, and who she’s with, it’s going to creep her out. It’s digital stalking. She’s not going to be pleased.

·         Over the top gestures and professions – Being nice and doing nice things for her are great. However, there’s a limit to this. If you keep making grand gestures, instead of seeming romantic, it seems desperate and needy. She’s going to get sick of it, and in some cases, she might just think it’s weird.

·         Trying to spend all your time with her – Spending time with one another is great. However, there’s a limit to this. You shouldn’t give up all of your free time just to be with her. You need to do your own things, and spend some time hanging out with your own friends away from her, just like she wants to do with her friends. If you keep spending your time following her around like a puppy dog, she’s eventually going to tell you to get lost. You both need your own space.

Do any of these signs sound like you? If so, you can make some changes in your life to make you more attractive to women. If you don’t make changes, she’s going to become bored with you.

If you are still trying to move the relationship forward to where you can have sex with her, it’s not going to end well for you. If you are already in a relationship where you’ve had sex and thought you were moving forward, it’s still not going to end well. Stop these needy and desperate behaviors now.

How to Stop Being Needy

Neediness pushes people away. If you fall into this category, you will want to find ways to eliminate that neediness and become a stronger and more confident person. It’s easy to talk about what you need to do in order to stop being needy. However, putting it into action is a different story. If you want to make sure that you are not overly needy, be willing to do the following:

·         Provide space – She needs space, and you do too. Enjoy the space and be productive with it. Don’t instantly text her or hop onto social media to see if you can see what she’s doing… it’s creepy.

·         Find purpose – Have a purpose in life other than doing everything for her. Do things for yourself and have goals that you want to attain that have nothing to do with her. This not only shows that you are driven, but it makes sure you are not seen as overly needy.

·         Trust – You have to give her trust, and this is often difficult for needy men, especially those who have been cheated on in the past. There is no guarantee that she won’t cheat on you, but you have to give her the trust. If you don’t, and you are too needy, you will find that she’s actually more likely to move on from you.

·         Continue to build your confidence – Do different things in your life that you enjoy and that help to build your confidence. It could be the time you spend in the gym, boxing, or learning a new hobby. Confidence helps to crush neediness, and we already know that confidence is attractive.

·         Spend time with friends – One of the reasons that some men are needy is because they’ve had issues with being alone in the past. They don’t like the feeling of loneliness, so they cling (too tight) to anyone who shows them attention. The best thing to do is spend more time with friends that you have, and work to meet some new friends.

If you recognize your own neediness, you are ahead of the pack. Most men have to have their friends who know them well tell them when things are getting out of hand. Even worse, the woman herself might tell them to their face that they are too clingy. By that time, it’s often too late.

Think about the items mentioned in the list above, and if any of those sound familiar to you from your past relationships, you will want to make some changes before you meet the next woman.

Instant Neediness Is Instant Rejection for Most Women

If a man becomes instantly attached to the woman, during the first week or so – or even at the bar the night they met in some cases – it’s not going to go over well. She doesn’t want someone who is so clingy and needy, and she’s going to quickly lose your phone number.

You want to make sure that you play it all very cool when you first meet women. Getting jealous before you’ve even had a first date is just stupid. Sending her multiple text messages on the same night that you meet is similarly doltish.

Why Do Women Hate the Needy Man?

While there might be some women out there who are looking for a needy man that they can care for and control, that’s not generally the case with most women today. You will instead find that most women who are independent, strong, and worthy of your time want someone who is mentally and emotionally strong, as well. They want those who have confidence, drive, and believe in themselves.

They do not want someone who is wish-washy and who is going to be padding around after them like a toddler. They are looking for a man, not for a baby. Enjoying spending time together is great, but someone who is clingy is not.

You are not weak.

You are not clingy.

You are someone who she wants . Make sure you stay that way. If you ever feel that you’ve become too clingy, take a step back and think about your behavior. Make the needed course correction and get things back on track.

Conclusion:

We’ve now come to the end of the book, and you should have a much better idea of how to pick up and sleep with a beautiful woman. The techniques in the book are great for those who are looking for a one-night stand, as well as for those who are looking for a longer-term relationship.

Meeting women and getting them to open up is as much art as it is science. You can use what you’ve learned in this book to add to your own techniques and improve on how you flirt and converse with women. Always be learning, testing new ideas and conversation topics, and figuring out what really works for you.

After all, every man is different, just like every woman is different. It’s always exciting when you make that approach and start the conversation. You never know exactly who it is you will be speaking to and where it is going to lead!

Of course, with everything that we’ve mentioned in this book, it is still just scratching the surface of attracting and sleeping with women. If you’d like to truly master the art of pick-up and seduction, sign up to my advanced seduction course here: www.t8system.com