Help! I’ve Got a Crush

Clyde Andrews

The “Cute Gay Romance” Series

Healthy, Wealthy and Boyfriend Wise

Mr Heartbreak

Help! I’ve Got a Crush

The New Boy Next Door, Uh-Oh! (Coming, June 15th 2019)

Harvey & Jordan, the Odd Couple (Coming, July 15th 2019)

This series has love and laughter at its core and features cute boys falling in love with happily ever afters, too. All stories are standalone and can be read in any order.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, incidents, and dialogues are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to people, living or dead, events or locales, is entirely coincidental.

The right of Clyde Andrews to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him.

Copyright © Clyde Andrews 2019

Edited by Charlie Knight: www.cknightwrites.com

Cover by BNPDesign Studio used under license with Canva Premium for use as Kindle book cover © 2019.

ALL RIGHT RESERVED. No part of this may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author.

Published by Eridani Books 2019

Tyler has a crush on Zander.

Trouble is, Zander has a boyfriend named Colin. Tyler knows that it’s a no-go when it comes to Zander, but when he finds out how Colin treats Zander, his heart gets a different idea.

Tyler knows he has to do something about it, that he has to do what’s right—even if he has to follow his heart and step out of his comfort zone, regardless of the consequences.

Will Tyler get the boy of his dreams…or will Colin take Zander out of the equation completely?

Lesson One

How Not to Behave in the Boys’ Toilet

The third-floor boys’ toilet that serviced the biology wing was a horror show at the best of times. A real eye-opener. Or, in the case of what Tyler Dixon heard from the next stall while sitting down answering nature’s second most important call, a real ear-opener.

         “For the love of…just git it in your mouth, Zander.”

         Zander?

         Tyler’s heart leapt into his throat at the mention of that name.  

         “I can’t…” Along with the frantic rummaging sounds of clothing being removed, a bang of what must have been an elbow hitting the stall’s wall startled Tyler. He jumped, his heart almost coughing up completely to splat against the stall’s door. Through some miracle, he managed to stifle any sound, covering his mouth to reinforce that. The two toilet lovers mustn’t have known he was there. Because, if Tyler’s suspicions were true, the boy about to get his dick sucked in the most un-romantic way possible, and by the dreamiest boy in school no less, wouldn’t appreciate eavesdroppers. No way. 

         Zander said with a strain, “Hang on, your zipper’s stuck…” 

         “Pull me pants down then.”

         “We’re gonna get caught.” More rummaging. “I’m sure I heard someone else in here.”

         “We won’t git caught,” the boy about to get the rushed toilet-stank blowjob whined with exasperation. “Now stop making excuses. Git on with it.”

         “I…okay…” Another sound, clothing pulled down. “It would help if you had kept your hard-on. I can’t do much with that flaccid thing.” 

         “You’re stressing me out ‘cause you’re taking so bloody long, that’s why. Use your hand.” A hocking sound, spit, and the unmistakable shlap, shlap, shlap noise of a saliva-lubricated handjob followed. A couple of groans from Zander’s boyfriend accompanied that. “Better now?”

         “Yeah…but hold on, my nose isn’t gonna suck it.”

         “Just hurry up.”

         “You got the condom?”

         “Shit, no. But don’t worry, I’ll blow my wad in toilet paper.”

         “Well, let me know when you’re gonna come.”

         “Yeah, yeah, sure. Just git on with it, otherwise you’ll git it all over your face!” 

         “I don’t want bloodshot eyes again, like the last time. People thought I was on drugs or something.” 

         “Stop flapping your goddamn mouth to talk, you’re driving me crazy. Just blow me already!”

         The slurping, sucking sounds that followed made Tyler see red; if he hadn’t already taken a dump, he sure would have now. Why the hell would Zander put up with that? Tyler would treat him right; no dirty liaisons in a boys’ toilet, that’s for sure.

         No more than a few moments later, quicker than it took for Tyler to complete his thoughts about how much of a complete douchebag Zander’s boyfriend really was, there was a yelp. He heard gagging sounds and the toilet holder clattering as paper was pulled from it. Spitting sounds. Hacking. Coughing.   

         Tyler gasped. He didn’t need to work out what it all meant.

         Zander, while still spitting, complained, “I thought…argh! You said you were going to tell me!” 

         “Whatever.” The sound of pants being pulled up. “I forgot. So sue me.”

         “But Colin!” Zander tried to protest.  

         The stall door opened. “But nothing. You loved it. Now, I’ve got to git back to class. You can jack yourself off or whatever.”

Footsteps echoed as Colin left.

He turned on the water.

         Tyler had finished what he needed to do ages ago. He stood, got himself organised, and, much to his own surprise because he wasn’t sure if it was prudent or not to do so, he opened his stall’s door. The sight before him broke his heart. Zander was hunched over the sink, knuckles white as he grabbed the benchtop tightly. His head hung low. 

         “You know, you really shouldn’t have to put up with his crap,” Tyler offered, disbelieving his own words. Was I hoping Zander would leave Colin now and come straight to me? He shook that thought from his head. It was stupid. But too late now; his mouth had fired off before his brain finished processing the situation. 

         He was committed now.

         At that moment, Zander focused his gaze on Tyler through the mirror. His eyes were red-rimmed and a sadness that emanated from him to almost become palpable. Tyler wanted to give him a hug, a reassuring touch at the very least. He stopped himself. 

         “I knew we weren’t alone,” Zander scoffed. “Going to tell everyone that the school’s resident fag sucked dick in here, are you?”

         “No, I’m not.”

         “Pfft! That’ll be a first. Most people already know what a slut I am, no thanks to my boyfriend’s bragging.” 

         “Oh, there’s a boy in that word but he’s no friend of yours.” 

         Zander turned off the tap. He wiped his eyes with paper towel, threw it into the waste bin, and headed for the door. “What do you know?”

         “More than you think.”

         “Yeah, well, good for you.” And with that he was gone. 

Tyler couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d heard and his conversation with Zander after. In fact, it was all he could think about for the rest of the day; his thoughts so clogged it was like his mind had become a dam, nothing else getting in. He couldn’t even absorb anything during last period Social Sciences, either—a subject he could almost bear. 

         Seeing Zander upset by how Colin treated him was bad. But then Zander dismissing it? The whole thing gnawed at Tyler as if the thoughts were beavers eating away at the structure of his mind. 

         He was worried. 

         While retrieving the books he’d need for homework from his locker at the end of the school day, a shadow came over him. 

         “Heard you were there,” a voice spat, grabbing hold of the locker door and looming large over Tyler. His locker was waist height on the end of a bank of lockers, so he had to look up to see the disturbingly “cute but ugly” cherub-like face of Colin—dimples, small nose, large eyes, and blond locks everywhere.     

         “Where exactly was I, Colin?”

         “Don’t git smart.” His face screwed up with distaste, the cherub now Beelzebub’s second cousin, twice removed. “You know where.”

         Tyler stood up to face Colin, eye to eye. “Oh, I’m not being smart. I know where I am every minute of every day because, you know, out of body experiences don’t happen too often for me.”

         Colin didn’t budge, but scowled. “I know you were there,” he repeated.

         “Okay. But is there a purpose to this conversation, Colin? Or is this just going to go around in circles?” 

         He slammed the locker door shut, startling Tyler. “Keep your mouth shut about it or else your face will have an accident with my fist. Git it?” 

         “Okay…point taken.” But Tyler would not let the Neanderthal know he was intimidated, even if his heart jack-hammered and his throat seemed desert dry suddenly. The guy was a jerk and the way he treated others was gross. Tyler needed to give him a piece of his mind. “But which part should I keep my mouth shut about? The bit where you couldn’t get it up or that you’re a selfish douche?”  

         “What did you call me?”

         Tyler was taken aback. “That’s what you took from what I said?”

         Colin stepped closer. “I said, what did you call me?”

         Tyler knew when to back off. Now wasn’t the time; not when there weren’t many witnesses. “Nothing,” he stammered.

         “That’s what I thought.” Colin grabbed Tyler’s shirt, twisting it in his grip. “And keep away from Zander, or else. I know you’ve been hanging around him like a bad smell lately. Back the hell off.”

         Now Tyler saw red again, but fear added into the mix. “Y-you…you don’t o-own him.”

         Colin screwed his fist tighter; Tyler thought he heard the stitches on his shirt pop. He tried to swallow. “Like hell I don’t.” He then let go, but not before he pushed Tyler into the lockers. A shuddering clatter that went through to his bones and echoed down the hallway. 

Tyler let out a gasp when he was released. That was a close call. 

Colin turned to leave but paused and looked back. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll take my advice, chicken-shit.” 

         And with that, the meathead headed down the corridor towards the exit. 

         Tyler realised his knuckles bunched and that he’d tensed. He took in a deep breath, then a couple more for good measure. His shoulders finally relaxed. 

         It was a surprise Colin didn’t hit him then and there. 

         Or perhaps it wasn’t. 

         In any case, his warning rattled Tyler. To the point where he changed his opinion of him. No longer would Colin be thought of as a douche-bag, meathead, or a Neanderthal. Now, he was a man who was all “mouth and no trousers.” And now Tyler knew that in those trousers was a flaccid, steroid-shrunken, little boy’s willy that couldn’t get up even with the hottest guy in school on his knees, ready, willing, and able. 

         That thought made Tyler smirk.

         If only Zander could see things how they really were. Why he put up with Colin as his boyfriend was anyone’s guess. What possible reason could there be to let “Mister Mouth and No Trousers” treat him like that?  

Lesson Two

How to Paint by Numbers

Tyler walked home contemplating such things—navel gazing, his Mum called it. He did a lot of that. Being gay wasn’t the problem these days, finding the right boy was. Actually, that wasn’t true, either. Tyler knew the right one for him; one he’d treat like a prince, respect, and be there for him no matter what.

It was a pity that boy was with Mister Mouth and No Trousers.

“Hey, Mum, I’m home!” he shouted as soon as he stepped beyond the front door’s threshold. He threw his backpack onto the ground next to his freshly kicked off shoes, pulled off his tie, and shrugged off his blazer.

“In here!” the distant voice of his Mum called.

Where “here” was, was anyone’s guess. It wasn’t like his home only had one room. “Where?”

“I’m in the study, sweetheart.”

It was a bit early for her to be in there. She either had a deadline or she caught the inspiration bug. The only reason for Mum to be in the study was for her art. And when she was creating, she spent most of her time in there. At least until the piece she was working on was done. Then she’d re-join the land of the living for a while. 

Mum was actually getting pretty good at painting. Good enough to have a local gallery hang a couple of them, anyway.  

As soon as he stepped into the study, passing through the thick, invisible cloud of turpentine and oil paint stench that clung to everything like morning dew—even with the windows open—he went up behind her. He pecked her affectionately on the top of her head. Even her hair smelt like a revolting mix of solvent, painting medium, and linseed oil.

Tyler didn’t dare get in front of her.

No one stood between his Mum and her art when she was creating, for fear of death by a thousand paintbrush stabs. Besides, she never turned to look away while she painted, always holding a brush laden with paint and/or a palette covered in such colourful splotches it was like a unicorn had defecated on it. She told him once that her vacant “artistic stare” had something to do with not wanting to stifle the creative energy she built up while contemplating her work…whatever that meant.

But Tyler respected her.

He studied her latest masterpiece. “That’s…” Tyler searched for the right word, one to describe what he was seeing without offending her sensibilities during the creative stage. He settled on, “Interesting.”

“It’s my reimagining of the Venus de Milo to represent the sudden increase in transphobia lately. Do you like it?”

“I think I do.” He raised his hand to his chin in thought. “Although, I do believe her—I mean their —dick is a little…too dicky. If you know what I mean.”

This time she did turn from her art, looking at Tyler and smiling a mischievous grin. His Mum had paint in all colours across her nose and cheeks. The unicorn had gone to town that afternoon.

“You may be right.”

“I know I’m right.”

She harrumphed, but without unkindness. “You wouldn’t model for me, so that’s the result.”

It wasn’t entirely true; Tyler modelled for her all the time. The paintings she did of him done with love and beauty and were quite striking. Okay, they were never full nudes because he was technically underage at seventeen. He kept reminding her that the last thing she needed when painting controversial works about recent social issues was to be branded a paedophile or whatever by narrow-minded people who didn’t know the difference between art making a statement and their own sick minds.

“Oh? This is my fault, is it?”

“Sure is.” She laughed gently.

Tyler joined her. “You know, there’s such a thing as the internet. You can look up naked men on there and get a fair idea of the proper proport—okay…on second thought, don’t do that. It’ll be worse than what you’ve got there already. And green, Mum? Why is it green?”

“Le Franc and Bourgeois’ Veronese Green, sweetheart.” She put down her brush onto the easel’s ledge; after a moment of looking between Tyler and her painting, thought drew across her face. She asked, “Too much then?”

“Just a bit too much, Mum. You know I love your work, but I’m here to look out for you as well.”

She nodded. “In that case, does that mean you’ll model for me?”

He sighed. Why did he bring it up at all? “I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll immortalise you forever if you do.” She gave him a puppy dog-eyed expression.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Feeling the potential embarrassment of taking the conversation further, Tyler decided to change the subject. “Where’s Mama?”

“She’s out shopping—gathering for dinner, no doubt.”

As if on cue, he heard the front door shut and the knocker clanging. Moments later, his Mama was in the study, waving her arm about to get rid of the cloying turpentine stank, the expression on her face a cross between “glad to be home” and “what the hell have I walked into?” Tyler tried to suppress a laugh. His Mama was the complete opposite of his Mum, which was why his mothers worked so well together, he supposed.

Tyler hugged her straight away. A tactic to distract her, as were his next words. “Mama, I’m so glad you’re here. Mum’s looking at me as if she’s Vincent Van Gogh and I’m a vase of sunflowers minus the sunflowers.”

“Aww, baby, you come into the kitchen with me. I’ll make you a nice mug of hot cocoa.” Mama returned the hug in kind, even tighter. “Then we can destroy a packet of Tim Tams together.”

Tyler breathed her love in deeply, like it was life-giving air. He always enjoyed being wrapped in her arms. Right now, especially, seeing as her lavender scented perfume neutralised Mum’s Eau de toilette of painting smells.

“If you’re doing them with marshmallows, I’m so in.” 

“Of course, with marshmallows,” she almost gasped. “What kind of monster do you take me for?”

“Then what are we waiting for? That kettle isn’t boiling itself.” Tyler held his Mama’s hand as she led him out of the study.  

His Mum had returned to her painting, but shouted, “That’s right, take him away. It’s a conspiracy, but you can’t stifle my art. You hear me, you two?”

“We wouldn’t dream of stifling anything, Doreen.” Mama turned and shot her wife a raised eyebrow, curled lip expression. “But you know molly-coddling my boy takes priority over anything else.”

“True,” Tyler’s Mum conceded, picking up her paintbrush. “I’ll join you both in a minute. I’ve just got some adjustments to do on this first.”

“You want marshmallows in yours as well?”

“If they’re the mini ones that I can use to form a crust over the top of the hot cocoa, then yes, I most certainly do, Lucy my dear.”

Mama rolled her eyes. “I swear between the two of you, you must think me a heathen or something. I only ever buy the mini ones. That’s what they’re there for.”

Tyler laughed.

Mum began painting over Venus de Milo’s cucumber-like dick; Tyler couldn’t help feeling a little guilty he was responsible for that artistic edit.

Still, it was for the better.

The last time she didn’t take his advice, she pulled a piece she did of an obese man, woman, and child covered in burger-meal wrappers from an exhibition at the last moment. Tyler begged her to submit it, saying it was a great statement on corporate greed and the objectification of people as a means to gain profit, no matter the cost. She was scared she was going to get sued by the company or something.

Tyler still believed it was her best piece so far.

The whistle of the kettle sounded. Mama poured steaming hot water evenly into three mugs and the smell of cocoa wafted over to Tyler’s nostrils already. He smiled. 

“How was school today?” she asked as she pushed the filled mug towards him.

“The usual,” Tyler began. “You know, blah, blah this and blah, blah that from the teachers. Me sustaining a ridiculous crush on a boy I can’t ever have. And—oh, yeah, me then hearing said boy giving his selfish pig of a boyfriend a blowjob in the toilets. You know, normal day kinda stuff, really.” He finished that with a deep sigh, his heart aching still.

Mama almost overfilled one of the other mugs; she caught herself in time before making a mess. “I don’t know where to start with all that. Are you...are you all right?”

Tyler plopped a whole heap of marshmallows into his cocoa. He’d need the sweet, chocolate-y, and sticky goodness hit he’d get from it in a moment, that much he didn’t doubt. “I’m okay. I’ll get over it.”

“Does this boy you have a crush on really have such a bad boyfriend?”

“Well, I’m not sure. But doing anything in the boys’ toilet doesn’t exactly inspire confidence that he’s a good catch.”

“Then tell this crush of yours how you feel.”

Tyler almost inhaled marshmallows. “Mama! There is no way I’m doing that. I like my face where it is, thank you very much.”

“Oh. I see.”

“Yeah, the boyfriend is not only a pig but a meathead, too.”

“Lovely combination.”

“Oh, the best.”

At that moment, Tyler’s Mum entered the kitchen. “Who’s the best? What’s happened?”

Tyler told her that the boy he had a crush on was already taken.

His Mum was less pragmatic in response. “Well, I think it’s time you joined the monastery then, sweetheart.”

“Might as well. My hand is the only thing that’ll give me any loving, that’s for sure.”

His Mama and Mum looked at each other.

“What?” he questioned.

Mama assured him, “You’ll find someone someday.”

“No luck so far,” Tyler said despondently, sipping on his cocoa.

“You’re smart, handsome, and caring—what more could a guy want?” Mum interjected, accepting her mug from Mama.

Tyler sighed again. “Apparently, giving out blowjobs in the toilets like candy is what guys want these days.”

“Did I miss something?” Mum’s expression flashed from horror to surprise to intrigue in a matter of seconds. “I’ve obviously missed something.”

Mama promised, “I’ll fill you in later.”

At that moment, Tyler’s phone buzzed. He fished it out of his pocket and found a text from his best friend, Jordan Straczynski—aka, Strazzy.

Tyler dude! Check out this before they delete it.

He clicked on the link in the text message. A Facebook video sprang up. The video showed a group of boys surrounding Zander who was on the ground in the foetal position, screaming for them to stop. The boys were kicking him, shouting such disgusting hate at him Tyler felt sick to the core of his soul.

“I’ve gotta go, Mum—Mama. Bye!”

Lesson Three

How to Perform First Aid to the Heart

Before Tyler could hear his mothers’ protests or questions—including if he would be home for dinner—he was out the front door. He grabbed his bike from where it lived at the side of the garage. Moments later, he was pedalling with all his might towards his high school.

Tyler was probably too late.

But he had to know if Zander was all right. His heart was going as fast as his legs could move him through his leafy neighbourhood of Heidelberg. He quickly came to Rosanna Road, a busy main street that divided the suburb from the haves and the have-nots like all main arterial roads, train tracks, or rivers seemed to do when people needed a barrier between them to determine social status, imagined or otherwise. Tyler was glad he was on the better side—that is, the one where he may not have much, but what he did have was a home filled with love. Big houses, fancy cars, designer brand clothing, and plastic surgery couldn’t buy happiness…in the end.

He was glad he had Mum and Mama.

It took ages to cross the road, even at the traffic lights. There should be a law about food delivery trucks, cargo lorries, and construction vehicles using it during the day; the drivers never slowed down, even for cyclists. Thankfully, once he’d crossed over to the footpath, it provided some semblance of safety from the drivers jacked-up on “keep awake” drugs because their deadline to deliver their cargo was last week.

As Tyler rode on, he recalled where the video had been shot, a place he recognised. Zander was being beaten up near the equipment shed next to the soccer oval outside the main gymnasium. A favourite haunt of bullies, as teachers tended to patrol the bike racks and exits after final bell went.

The shed was his goal.

As he approached, he saw Jordan there alone.

Tyler applied his back-pedal brakes. His bike skidded, creating a rain of the bluestone gravel used around all the school’s supply sheds. Why, Tyler could never work out, but bluestone dodging was literally a sport in his school. Many had been suspended for throwing them at unwary passers-by who copped a rock to the more delicate parts of their bodies.

Tyler winced at that thought.

He hopped off his bike, setting it onto the ground. 

“Where’s Zander?” Tyler asked, his words an exasperated cry from both his fears and his frantic ride. His heart was still motoring.

Breathe, Tyler, breathe.

Jordan replied, “Hey, nice to see you, too, Ty.”

He sucked in a breath. Calmed himself. Finally, he managed, “Sorry, Strazzy. It’s just that…well…”

“No worries.” Jordan came up to Tyler. They hugged each other in greeting as they always did, so Tyler was surprised Jordan pulled away quickly, until he made a face. “Yuck! You’re all sweaty! I thought gay boys didn’t sweat unless it was through the skin of their feet?”

“That’s dogs.”

“Oh, yeah. No wonder Coco’s paws smell like corn chips.” Jordan laughed knowingly, but continued without break, “Hey, just teasing you. Now, why all hot and bothered? I understand you’ve had a massive boy crush on Zander all year and you’re worried, but to be honest I don’t think he even knows you exist.”

“It hasn’t been a year—a couple of months at most…maybe...”

“Oh yeah, right.” Jordan nodded with a cheeky grin. “It’s been at least since you got pubes, hasn’t it?”

“I’ve had pubes for a while, Strazzy!”

“You sure? It’s just that the last time I saw you with not much on, you were as bald as a coot down there.”

“Oh, jeez, Strazzy. You’re bringing that up again? Shit. That was because I was unfortunate enough to get a bit too drunk at one of your parties, and you and the lads decided it was a good idea to shave everything off me down there. Do you have any idea how much that itches when it grows back? Mum thought I had crabs and Mama was ready to take me to the emergency room or something. I had to tell them what you did. Do you even know how embarrassed I was?”

“Your Mums still love me.” Jordan shrugged. “Besides, what else are friends for, if not to embarrass the crap out of their best buds?”

Tyler snorted, but smiled. “Who needs enemies, right?”

“Right.”

“So, where’s Zander…or his Neanderthal boyfriend, for that matter?”

“Oh, so you want to keep talking about you, then?”

“Of course.” Tyler smirked. “I’m a limelight whore and you know it.”

“Gay boys—what can you do with them?” Jordan patted him on his shoulder. “But to get back to the matter at hand—and there’s no rush because Zander hasn’t come out yet—he’s in the toilets over there.”

“What is it with him and toilets?”

“Eh?”

“Never mind.” Tyler turned to head towards the offending ablutions building. “And what about the others? The ones who were beating him up. Where are they?”

Jordan walked with Tyler, arm around his shoulder now. Again, as they always did. The one thing Tyler loved most about his best friend was that he never, ever, not once, cared Tyler was gay. They’d always been friends and that’s just how it was, drunken parties and the pranks that went with them included.             

Jordan responded, “They ran a mile when I got here and threatened to call the cops. At least my distraction gave Zander a chance to get away. Well, to run into the toilets and lock himself in there. I picked up his phone.”

Jordan took it out of his pocket and handed it to Tyler; the screen was cracked. Badly. 

If the state of the phone was anything to go by, Tyler dreaded what waited for him in the bathroom. A cut lip and a couple of bruises…or something a lot worse?

He felt ice form in his stomach. “How bad is he?”

“Go see for yourself.” Jordan let Tyler go. “I’ll wait out here for you. Just in case the jerks return. I can give you a shout out.”

“Thanks, Strazzy.”

“Hey, don’t mention it. Although, if I were you, I’d be quick doing whatever it is you have in mind. You never know when the vultures might return…or even if the knuckles dragging on the ground boyfriend himself decides to make an appearance.”

“I don’t have anything in mind.”

“Yeah, right. And the Pope’s not a Catholic.”

“Relax.” Tyler entered the toilets. He called back, “I just want to see if he’s okay.”

“Just don’t do it with your tongue down his throat, okay?”

The first thing that struck Tyler, besides the disgusting stank of stale piss mixed with the clinical bleach smell of urinal cakes, was the sound of sobbing coming from the far stall. The door was closed and locked, the red “engaged” word all too visible.

“Hey, you okay?” Tyler said carefully, again with his stomach icing over and his heart pounding faster than when he rode here. The moment he uttered those words, Tyler regretted it.

Of course, Zander wasn’t okay.

The guy had just been beaten up, filmed for show on Facebook, YouTube, and everywhere else no doubt, and was now crying in the toilets while he hid from the world as a result.

Stupid, Tyler, stupid.

“L-leave me a-alone,” Zander replied, his voice a mess of what he’d gone through; something Tyler had to remind himself of only moments earlier.

“I’m here to…you know…if you need anything.”

“Go a-away! I don’t n-need anything.” 

“Then I’m here if you want to talk. I’m not going anywhere.” That was something. Wasn’t it? He repeated, “I’ll be…I’ll be here if you need me.”

Tyler placed Zander’s cracked phone onto the benchtop.

After an eternity, just when Tyler was considering sitting down in the next stall to wait and see what Zander would do next while his heart and pulse showed no signs of calming, the “engaged” sign changed to “vacant.” The stall’s door creaked open.

Nerves crept up to consume Tyler. He gasped when Zander showed himself. The boy looked a mess; his usually styled hair was so dishevelled—complete with bits of grass in it—that it looked as though he’d been dragged through a doggie door backwards while being hosed down. What’s more, his school blazer was dirty and torn, his shirt grass-stained, and his trousers had a hole on the left knee. He didn’t have his tie on. Maybe it was pulled off him or used to strangle him.

Tyler’s thoughts spiralled. He felt uneasy on his feet. He couldn’t imagine what Zander had gone through and he stepped closer out of a caring instinct. As for Zander’s wounds, he had a cut on his lip and a more worrying one on his right eyebrow; blood was still oozing from them both.

Again, Tyler gasped.

Zander had been dabbing paper towel on his wounds. It was stained bright red, as was his hand. Tyler couldn’t help but think he’d probably need a couple of stitches for the one on his eyebrow.

“Did you…did you want Stra—I mean, Jordan and me to walk you home or something?”

Zander went to the mirror. After he pocketed his phone, he groaned, then spat, “I’m not going there.”

“Um…okay.” He really wanted to hug Zander, let him know it was okay and that he had someone here for him.

Why didn’t he want to go home after being beaten up? If it were him, Tyler would want both his mothers’ warm embraces. But Tyler knew not to press the matter.

Instead, he added cautiously, “You can…you can come back to my place…if you want. My Mama’s a trained nurse. She can see to that cut on your…I mean, if you want to, of course.”

“Why should you care about me?” Zander turned. He seemed to study Tyler, eye him suspiciously. “Wait? Aren’t you—you’re the one who listened in on Colin and me earlier, aren’t you?” The way Zander said Colin, it was as though he’d discovered the apple he’d bitten into had half a worm in it. Like he’d just realized the other half of the worm had been digested and was feeling nausea take over.

Zander dabbed his eyebrow again. More blood on the paper towel. 

Tyler stepped closer, his whole body going numb from being so close to the boy of his dreams, but his mind was only on that boy needing someone to be with him. Tyler was determined for that someone to be him.

But he had to be honest.

“Yeah…that was me.”

Zander turned his attention back to his reflection. “Got your thrills, did you? Came in here to see if you could hear more? Sorry to disappoint you, but Colin and me are no more. He broke up with me, said I was so shit at being his boyfriend that I couldn’t even get him hard anymore.” He gestured to his face. “And you can see the result of that, can’t you?”

“Colin did this to you?”

“He’s not that stupid.”

“Then who did it?”

Zander moved his weight between his feet. “Like I said, what’s it to you?”

Tyler had to take a step back, physically and with his questions. He didn’t want to scare Zander away. Not now. Not after what he’d just been told. Instead, he breathed, “Look, come back to my place and let my Mama see to that cut above your eye. Then we can take you home. Okay?”

“I told you, I ain’t going home.”

Again, with him not wanting to go home? What was that all about?

Tyler wanted to ask why but decided against it. He believed he’d made progress: Zander was at least still talking. And he hadn’t said no.

Pity Tyler’s heart had stuck to the insides of his throat through the whole conversation. That and the fact his hands were so sweaty with nerves he would need to drink a gallon of water to replace it.

But still.

Progress.  

Right?

Lesson Four

How to Tell if a Caged Bird Can Fly

Tyler, Jordan, and Zander left the school grounds together. Tyler couldn’t see anyone around now. Besides, if there was anyone they probably wouldn’t care. Getting out of school after the final bell had sounded—as it had ages ago now, if Tyler made it home and back—was on everyone’s priority list. Except for the bullies who hung around waiting to snare unsuspecting prey, that was. Even they had scattered, thanks to Jordan’s quick arrival on the scene earlier.

It could have been a lot worse for Zander.

Tyler pushed his bike instead of riding it. That way he could stay as close to Zander as possible. Hopefully it wasn’t too obvious, even though he gravitated closer and closer as he felt the pull between them, as if Zander was a black hole stripping light from a doomed star and Tyler was that star. The radiance of heat made Tyler sweat so much it dripped down to the small of his back.

He licked his lips many times as his thoughts wandered, migrating to how he’d like to reach out and hold Zander’s hand for one. He had to shake those desires from his mind, because now wasn’t the time to mention anything about his own feelings. This was about Zander and getting him home so Mama could look at his wounds.

Soon, they were amongst the hustle and bustle of peak hour traffic and the thundering trucks that persisted in zooming past without so much as the driver even breathing on the brake pedal.

After navigating the busy roads, they approached Tyler’s house tucked away within a quiet, leafy off-street. It was a small brick veneered bungalow nestled uncomfortably amongst so many others of the same design, their facades consisting of two rooms at the front and a front door separating their windows. Tyler’s lawn was greenish—it was his responsibility to keep it maintained—but the pride and joy of the home and talk of the neighbourhood was his mothers’ rose garden. It created a soft border between the road, the front knee-high red-brick wall, and their property. The roses were in bloom, thickening the air with their sickly-sweet fragrance.

Tyler opened the front door, letting Zander and Jordan in first. Once beyond the threshold himself, he called, “Hey, Mum—Mama, I’m back!”

Jordan chimed in, “And he brought his good-looking best friend and some rando with him.”

“Strazzy!”

Jordan gave him that “who me?” look. Zander looked a bit lost. At least the bleeding had stopped from the worrying cut on his eyebrow.

Mama was the first to greet them—which meant Mum was painting.

Please, Mum, please don’t be painting that dick on the Venus de Milo yet. Not now. Not when I’ve finally brought Zander here, even under justified but not ideal circumstances.

“What’s happened to you, young man!?” Mama cried. She rushed to him, dropping the basket of laundry she was about to iron. Unfortunately, along with the rest of the clothing, Tyler’s unmentionables were then scattered across the hallway tiling.

Tyler gasped.

Okay, scratch the dick painting thing. Why did Mama choose that moment to iron? And why was she ironing my underwear? I didn’t know she did that. Jeez, talk about embarrassment, plus a million.

Naturally, Jordan didn’t miss his opportunity. “Nice duds, dude. I like the pair with the Superman logo. Very classy and so nouveau chic, right? Or disturbing. Depending on whether or not you think a seventeen-year-old wearing something a little boy would wear is acceptable.”

Tyler flushed with heat to his extremities, so embarrassed he wanted to crawl away and hide for a couple of ice ages. He reached down and plucked up the offending item, stuffing it under his shirt. “I-I don’t wear…these...anymore.”

Jordan winked. “Right”

Zander, while Mama was examining his cuts and much to Tyler’s surprise, smiled. “I think retro underwear is kinda cute, even on older guys.”

Tyler couldn’t stop staring at him after he said that, only remembering to blink so he didn’t look like he was avoiding getting attacked by the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who or something equally weird. “You do?”

Zander didn’t get a chance to answer. Mama grabbed him by his hand. “You’re coming into the kitchen with me straight away, young man. That cut needs seeing to…what was your name? My son decided to not introduce you because he was busy being embarrassed.”

Tyler’s cheeks were still warm.

“Zander, Ma’am.”

“Pleased to meet you, Zander. But my name’s Lucy, not Ma’am. I’ve never been a Ma’am in my life, thank you very much. And don’t plan on being one any time soon, either.”

Zander was literally pulled into the kitchen, his expression one of disbelief and surprise. Was the reason he didn’t want to go to his own house because his parents didn’t care? Tyler tried not to think about such things. Guessing only led to assumptions. Assumptions that usually proved to be wrong, in his experience. Until he knew more about the boy of his dreams, other than what he learned by ogling him from afar, he wouldn’t jump to conclusions.

Jordan laughed, disturbing Tyler’s thoughts. “I so love being in your house. Always A-plus entertainment here.”

“I suppose you’re staying for dinner?”

“Does a straight boy love beer, pizza, and football?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Zander sat on one of the breakfast bar stools; he still looked as though he’d landed on Earth from a distant planet by the time Tyler entered, Jordan in tow. The poor boy was being fussed over by Mama. She had her extensively stocked first aid kit open, its contents spilled out on the bench like she was performing a surgical procedure. 

Tyler knew that first aid kit all too well, as did Jordan.

It wasn’t their fault that they were growing up while Mama was going through her Nursing Training course and every minor cut, graze, or carpet burn they’d acquired while horse-playing required a tourniquet, a brace, and the use of every wound cleaning product known to medical science.

It seemed Zander was getting the same treatment now.

“I’m not being a busy-body, here,” she stated, “but how did you get these injuries, Zander?” 

“I fell,” he replied flatly and without delay.

Tyler looked at Jordan. He could tell Jordan wasn’t impressed but, like Tyler, kept his mouth shut.

“I see,” Mama said, her voice full of doubt.

Tyler knew Mama did see and the falling excuse had nothing to do with it. No doubt she suspected he was lying but didn’t call him out. After all, it was his business, not hers. If it were Tyler on the other hand…

She continued, “I’ve cleaned out the wound and the bleeding has stopped again, Zander. But you’ll need to see your doctor as soon as you can, seeing as the cuts are on your face. I can drive you there if you like. I mean, I don’t think you’ll need stitches, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.” 

“I’ll be all right.”

“You should still see the doctor,” she pressed.

Zander shrugged. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I said I’ll be all right. So, I’ll be all right.”

Mama didn’t flinch. “Very well. Would you like a cup of tea?”

“Sure.”

Tyler approached Zander once Mama had packed up her first aid kit and headed for the kettle, flicking it on. “You should go see the doctor, you know.”

“As I said earlier to you today,” Zander said without emotion, “why do you care?”

Everyone looked at Zander.

Even Jordan was speechless.

Before Tyler could add anything more, Mum came into the kitchen. She was covered in a rainbow of paint…again. Or hadn’t she cleaned off the first lot? The turpentine and linseed oil combination perfume followed her in. “Who’s the handsome young guest we have who looks like he was once Evel Knievel’s stunt double?”

‘Um…” Tyler coughed, still thinking about Zander’s abruptness; even though it wasn’t exactly rude, it was sharp. “Mum, this is…Zander. We—Mama, I mean…helped him after he…fell.”

Jordan still didn’t say anything, and Mama remained busy at the kettle, making sure it boiled or something. She was certainly glaring at it to make sure it got on with what it was designed for. 

“Oh, right.” She kissed Tyler on his cheek in greeting, then did the same for Jordan. She offered her hand to Zander. “Is this the mystery boy you’ve got a crush on, sweetheart?”

Zander snapped his attention to Tyler.

Tyler didn’t want to hide in a hole for a millennium anymore, he wanted to die. Right there and right then. In fact, his whole body decided to shut down the moment his Mum spoke those words. He couldn’t move. Frozen. It was weird. Even his mouth seemed to stay stuck in the dropped open position. Why was it that mothers were most embarrassing when company was present?

Jeez!  

Of course, that was when Jordan decided to put in his two cents worth. He cleared his throat, because obviously staying silent for more than two minutes had almost closed it over. “Yeah, he’s had it bad for Zander since he got pubes. Right, Tyler?”

But Zander stood before Tyler could think to answer. “I think it’s time I left. Thank you for what you all did for me, but I’ve…I’ve got to go.”

The sound of the front door shutting hit Tyler a moment later.

“What did I say?” Mum asked innocently.

“That boy’s got issues,” Mama offered as an explanation.             

“Big time,” Jordan added.

Tyler still couldn’t move. Not even when Mama offered him a hot cup of freshly brewed tea. She placed it on the bench in front of him.

Zander had left. Just like that. The one chance Tyler had to get to know him. Gone.

Forever.

Shit.

Jordan was still talking, “…you been painting, Missus Dee?” Jordan called Tyler’s Mum Missus Dee and his Mama Missus El. They loved those affectionate names he’d made up for them over the years, lapping it up. Such things got him extra sweets and ice-cream. Tyler had to admit he liked it, too. Jordan, in a way, was part of the family, his older “brother” at eighteen, as it were. Jordan would more than likely stay overnight after dinner tonight, seeing as he was part of the family.

Or stay the whole weekend. That was a pretty standard affair with him.

“Yes, I’m painting,” Mum replied. “I’ve been trying to get the penis right on my Venus de Milo—but Tyler won’t model for me. I don’t have a realistic example to go by, really.”

“I’d be more than happy to model for you, Missus Dee.”

“Aww, you’re an angel. When do yo—”

“No, Mum,” Tyler snapped, coming to life just in time and before Mama got out the first aid kit again to make sure he hadn’t sunk into a coma or anything. “Strazzy isn’t going to model for you. I don’t want to have to see that hanging around, knowing it’s a representation of my best mate’s dick stuck on a painting of a classic sculpture. No way.”

“He’s an adult,” Mum protested light-heartedly. Tyler knew she was laying it on thick for extra embarrassment points. It was now a running joke; she certainly knew how to paint male anatomy.

Mothers! What you gonna do?

“And it’s his decision,” she added.

Tyler glared at Jordan. “No, Strazzy, you’re not doing that.” He then snapped his attention back to his Mum. “And stop encouraging him—he’s bad enough without your help. So just no, Mum. Okay?”

Jordan shrugged. “Maybe ask me next time, Missus Dee. You know, when Tyler’s crush hasn’t just walked out on him and he’s gone and got all Mister poopy-pants about it.”

Mama stifled a laugh behind her hand.

Mum’s lips curled to a knowing grin. “Sure thing, sweetheart.”

Tyler was till blistering with embarrassment…now this!

Just great! Could things get any worse?  

“What do you think was up Zander’s ass?” Jordan asked.

It was past midnight. They were both in their night-time shorts and T-shirts. Jordan was lying next to Tyler on his bed, arms behind his head so he could rest it on them, staring up at the ceiling. They were under the covers.

Because Tyler’s house only had two bedrooms—plus his Mum’s study—unless Jordan wanted to sleep on the sofa-bed, he chose to share Tyler’s bed with him. Tyler liked Jordan’s company and their close proximity during the night had never led to anything other than best friends sleeping together out of necessity. But the rules were firm. When they shared the bed, the imaginary line that divided it in half was in full play, like a scrimmage line the opposing team was never allowed to cross.

Tyler respected that.

Besides, they always had their most meaningful talks at night.

“I really don’t know, but I think Mama was right. He’s got issues,” Tyler said with a deep sigh, recalling the day’s events. Most made his stomach flutter with nerves, worry, and anxiety. He hoped Zander was all right after he’d left.

“Well, he just got the shit beaten outta him. Of course he’s gonna be a little flighty—I know I would be.”

“I’m not just talking about that. I’m talking about how he told me he didn’t want to go home, or that he didn’t even want to go to the doctors for that matter.”

“Yeah, that was weird.”

“He’s a mystery, for sure.”

“A sexy mystery that gives your dog a bone, right?”

Tyler ignored the jibe. He turned to look at Jordan. “Strazzy?” The light from the bedside lamp softened his best friend’s features, his spiky, golden-brown hair highlighted; even the unimpressive fluff he tried to grow on his chin didn’t look half bad in such soft light. “Do you think I’m attractive?”

“Sure.” Jordan kept his gaze on the ceiling. “In the whole, best friend slash honorary brother way, of course.”

“Of course…but…I’m being serious. Do you think…am I…you know? Would other gay guys still want to be with me ‘cause I don’t have a face that looks like a hat full of foreskins…or, you know, run from my house at the first given opportunity?”

“Oh. That.”

“Yeah, that.” 

“So, if I’m getting this right.” Jordan moved onto his side so he could look at Tyler, fluffing the pillow before he rested his head. “What you’re actually asking is, do I believe Zander thinks you’re attractive?”

“That’s about the sum of it, yeah.”

Jordan leaned over and patted Tyler on the shoulder, the only physical contact allowed in bedtime rulings. “Don’t overthink it. If it’s going to happen, it’ll happen. Just chillax. You know you’re attractive. You’re also a great guy. Heck, if I were into boys, I’d ride you like a fairground pony. Now g’nite, Ty.”

“Good night, Strazzy.”

“Oh, and don’t hog the blankets tonight,” Jordan pulled them up to his neck for emphasise to his words. “And if you need to relieve the day’s tension, go the hell to the bathroom. I don’t want be woken up the sound of you beating your meat.”

Tyler groaned in answer. Before he rolled over to face the wall, he turned off the bedside light. A plan formed in his mind. Monday couldn’t come around soon enough. And for Tyler to wish for school time to hurry up, he knew it was because he must have had a sickness.

Lovesickness.

Lesson Five

How to Repair a Broken Heart

Tyler woke first in the morning.

Jordan snored gently beside him. Despite the imaginary line rule in play still, his legs were spread so wide that Tyler ended up on the edge of the bed so as not to come in contact with him. Not that it really mattered, as they trusted each other with all things.

 But rules were rules.

To be honest, it was like the Jekyll and Hyde of “best friends” social etiquette when it came to Jordan. Sure, he was straight, but a lot of the time he acted gayer than even Tyler would dare.

When they were hanging out, anything and almost everything was possible including random hugging, backside slapping (bare butt or otherwise), arm-over-shoulder holds while walking in public, and naked changeroom shenanigans. Even the dreaded urinal “glances” were accepted.              

“Just making sure you’re staying hydrated,” Jordan would explain if Tyler caught him gawking while he pissed. “Can’t be too careful, you know.”

Then there were times like now. As in, no physical contact of any kind while sleeping together except Jordan’s traditional pat on the shoulder to say goodnight. 

And people think gay boys are confusing.

Tyler yawned, loudly. He needed to get up.

Jordan stirred, pulling off the blankets. “Time to syphon the python,” he Mumbled with a stretch that extended his bed territory even further—an inch more and Tyler would be on the floor.   

“Aw jeez, Strazzy, give me some room here.” Tyler pushed him back and Jordan relented. “And you do know you’ve got morning wood real bad, don’t you?”

Jordan looked down at his tented shorts. “Eh…what you gonna do?”

“You could take it away for a start.”

Tyler couldn’t help but think that Jordan had a good-sized dick. Not that he was attracted to it—or Jordan—in any way, but comparisons to other boys was a rite of passage, gay, straight, or bi. Tyler was confident that he was normal down there because of that. A relief. There was nothing worse than finding out you have micro dick potential partners would need a map and compass to find, or one so huge even seasoned bottom boys would run for the hills and hide in caves from. When it came to the downstairs department, being like every other boy was a good thing, and certainly lessened the chances of being singled out and teased.

High school was bad enough without that added worry.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going.”

Mama had made bacon and scrambled eggs on French toast for breakfast. Tyler knew that before he even got there because he smelt the intoxicating aroma of oversalted pig parts with chicken ovulations being fried up as soon as he stepped out the shower. Jordan was already at the breakfast bar when Tyler did arrive, helping out by pinching stray bits of bacon that weren’t really stray. Mama chastised him, threatening to whack him across the knuckles with a wooden spoon, but he continued unabated.

They both laughed.

Mum was already in her studio; Venus de Milo’s dick was a real headscratcher for her, for sure. Tyler sighed; he’d have to help her out eventually. Not by modelling nude, no way, but by giving her some much needed encouragement.

“This is just awesome, Missus El,” Jordan said with his mouth full of bacon and eggs while stuffing more into it with his laden fork. “So…yummo.” 

Tyler agreed.

“Thank you,” Mama accepted. “Now, all I want you to do is stack up the dishwasher before you both disappear today, all right?”

“Speaking of,” Jordan said. “What are we doing today, Ty?”

“Going to the mall,” Tyler declared.

“Oh, man. We’re not going clothes shopping, are we? You know I love you to pieces but going into those shops with you is like water torture, it really is. I mean you try on everything and then—” 

“No. We’re going shopping for a present.”

Mama chimed in, “What are you buying me?”

“It’s going to be for Zander.” Jordan and Mama gave each other a look Tyler knew all too well. “I don’t care what you two think, that’s what I’m doing today.”

Jordan muttered, “This should be fun.”

Mama chimed in, “Mmhmm.”

The mall was busy.

Tyler aimed for a jewellery store, but getting through the crowds to get there was trying his patience.

“Why is it so busy, today?” Tyler asked incredulous.

“Dunno, but slow down. I need to catch my breath here.” 

When they were finally in front of the store, Jordan whistled. “Whoa, you buying Zander a wedding ring already? Bit sudden, isn’t it? I mean, at least find out what he’s like in the bedroom before you stake your claim, Ty. He could be a dead starfish, for all you know. Then your investment is bankrupt, ‘cause you only buy bling if there’s a payoff. Right?”

Tyler patted Jordan on his shoulder. “I really pity any future girlfriend you, by some miracle, manage to ensnare.”

“That’ll be no problem. Chicks just dig me.”

“Oh, they’ll be digging all right—an escape tunnel.”

“Pfft! What do you know? I’m a stud, and that’s all there is to it.”

Tyler entered the store, his arm still on Jordan’s shoulder. A shop attendant, dressed in a power suit and with her hair scraped back so tight it made her forehead look like an advertisement for Botox injections, greeted them straight away. “Good morning gentlemen,” she sang with a wolfish ‘potential-dollars-ringing-up-the-till’ grin. “How can I help you both, today?”

Tyler suddenly found himself feeling queasy. He’d never purchased jewellery before. Heck, he’d never had anyone to buy for before, either. This was all new ground.

Thank God Jordan was there with him for support.

“I’m…I’m looking for a…I think it’s called a friendship ring…is that right?” Tyler stammered, gawking at all the bling in the sparkly clean glass bench cabinets in front of him.

So much gold!

So shiny! 

“Yes, they can be called that,” she explained. “But we prefer to call them promise rings here.”

“Promise?” Jordan interjected. “As in what sort of promise?”

The attendant looked between them both. Her salesperson smile grew wider. “A promise of engagement, of course.”

Tyler slowly but surely took his arm off Jordan’s shoulder.

“Um…we’re…” He got the distinct impression the shop attendant had jumped to conclusions, both about them as a couple and about the ring’s purpose. That wasn’t his intention at all. He only wanted to give Zander something special that he could keep, something no one else would have given him, especially Mister Mouth and No Trousers. He then produced a strangled “errr” as he struggled to put all his thoughts into coherent sentences. 

Before he could, the attendant continued, “Which one of you is it for? Or are you getting a matching set?”

“Um…what?” Tyler mouthed, now feeling like a fish out of water.

Jordan, however, wasn’t so shy. “We’ll go for the matching set. Won’t that be cute, honey bunch?”

“Strazzy!” Tyler spoke through his teeth, because he was still too bewildered to open his jaw fully.

“What?” Jordan laughed.

“I’m soooo going to kill you later.”

But the attendant had disappeared into the back stockroom for something, no doubt getting the rack of friendship/promise rings to show them.

“Whatever.” Jordan’s attention was suddenly elsewhere. “Hey, isn’t the man in question over there?”

Tyler snapped his head around to where Jordan was pointing. Sure enough, he found Zander standing in front of a Baker’s Delight store on the opposite side of the mall. 

Tyler’s world came back into focus. “Be right back, Strazzy.”

“I’ll just pick out our rings then, shall I?”

Tyler, in the jewellery shop’s doorway, called back, “Look at watches or something else for me instead, okay?”

“Spoil sport.”

Tyler dashed over to Zander. When he got there and soaked in Zander’s presence, words failed him. “Um…hey,” was all he could spit out.

“You following me around now?” Zander drawled, his voice laced with exhaustion. “Is that it?”

“No…I was over…and I saw you, so I thought I’d come say…” Tyler struggled for words; he’d already said hello. Jeez, he felt lame now, nerves wreaking havoc throughout his body under Zander’s scrutiny. He could still see the bandage Mama had applied yesterday above his eye. “So…how’s the cut going?” he tumbled out, saving himself from further embarrassment. 

“Better. Thanks.”

That answer wasn’t snarky at least. Progress? Hope, perhaps?

Right then, Tyler couldn’t help but become lost in Zander’s ridiculously dark swooping hair, deep, almost navy-blue eyes, and perfect skin aside from the cuts and bruises from his ordeal yesterday. His face was all Tyler ever wanted to see, waking and sleeping. He wanted to reach out and grab both of Zander’s hands.

Tyler’s fingertips tingled at that thought.

Then something strange happened. Zander asked suddenly, “You like me, don’t you?”

Tyler felt heat rise up through him, knocking those nerves and shyness for a six. Did Zander like me too? “Yeah…can’t you tell?”

Zander came closer and Tyler sucked in a breath. Unfortunately, the moment didn’t last long. As if he’d been holding an exquisite piece of cut crystal and only then noticed it was cracked. He almost recoiled; Zander smelt as though he’d slept in his clothing for days. In fact, he was still wearing his torn and ripped school uniform, complete with blood and grass stains.

Hadn’t he changed since yesterday?

What was going on? 

“Got any money?” Zander questioned, bringing Tyler back to the moment.

“What?” He breathed out hard through his nose, trying to get rid of the funk Zander radiated. It was worse than his Mum’s turpentine stench. “Yeah, sure. Why?”

“I haven’t eaten since yesterday. I’m starved.”

Now Tyler understood why Zander was standing outside Baker’s Delight, staring at the display window of all the baked treats, croissants, bagels, pies, cakes, buns, baps, scrolls, and everything else imaginable like his life depended on it. Because his life did depend on it.

Tyler felt for him, deeply. All those previous emotions were replaced by sadness and empathy for Zander. Then it dawned on Tyler: Zander hadn’t gone home at all, because he didn’t have a home to go to. He must live on the streets. Perhaps that was why he put up with Colin. Perhaps Colin gave him somewhere to stay, and now they’d split up so Zander was kicked out.

Again, that was speculation. But the evidence before him was pretty concrete.

Tyler’s stomach now knotted with guilt. He had everything, including the love of his mothers, while Zander…he had nothing. Not even Mister Mouth and No Trousers. He couldn’t help feeling partially responsible. If he hadn’t heard Zander and Colin going at it the other day, perhaps they’d still be together. Zander would at least have a roof over his head. 

Jordan approached. “Hey, Zander. Man, you look like death warmed up! What gives, dude?”

Zander glanced between Tyler and Jordan but didn’t seem perturbed by the new addition to their company. “Ah, I see now. So, is this a two for one deal, then, lads?”

Tyler was taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“You buy me one meal, I suck both your dicks as payment.” Zander shrugged. “That’s how it usually works.”

“Wait! What?” Tyler choked out.

Jordan slapped his hand onto Zander’s shoulder. “Let me set you straight, Zander, my man. This here is Tyler, not douchebag Colin or some loser cruising for a cheap thrill. He likes you a lot. Likes you likes you, in fact. I don’t understand gay, but I know my boy is hurting because the guy he’s crushing on is hurting. He ran to your aid yesterday without so much as a second thought. Remember? And even if I wasn’t his best friend, I’d still tell you that you’d be insane not to at least give him a chance to show you how nice it feels to be cared for by someone who actually cares. Get my drift?”

Zander scoffed. “Prove it.”

Tyler knew that was his cue. He grabbed Zander’s hands. They were cold, but not trembling. Zander didn’t pull away. “After I’ve bought you breakfast, I’m going to take you back to mine so you can shower and get a fresh change of clothes. Then we can talk. I want to know everything about you and what’s happened for you to end up like this. Deal?”

Zander’s expression looked unchanged, but his stern façade had softened to the point where Tyler’s heart melted by the newly revealed facet of his personality. “But…why?”

“Just because.”

“There’s no such thing as a free lunch, as they say.”

Jordan argued, “You’re wrong there. Some things in life are free. Like friendship and love, Zander, my man.”

“But…”

“No buts,” Tyler interrupted. “Now, c’mon. There’s a couple of bagels smeared with cream cheese begging for you to eat them right there.”

Zander pulled back as Tyler moved towards the shop’s entrance. “No one has ever given me anything before without expecting something in return.”

“Well, that’s all gonna change from here on in.”

If Tyler wasn’t mistaken, Zander wiped away a stray tear as they entered the bakery, hand in hand. The delicious smells of baked bread and other treats was overwhelming and wonderful.

Zander sucked in a deep breath and Tyler swore he heard his stomach rumble. Again, that pang of guilt punched his insides. There was so much he didn’t know about Zander and what he’d learnt made him both sad and angry at the same time. Sad for his situation, angry that the only person who had helped him had also taken advantage of him.

Tyler reminded himself to punch Mister Mouth and No Trousers in the balls next time he saw him. 

“I want one of those!” Jordan was in his element. “Also, give me one of those…one of those…one of those…oh, and one of those,” he rattled off as he stood at the counter, pointing at the shelves of baked goodness. The shop assistant bagged everything he mentioned. “And one of those. Ooh, ooh, I’ve got to have one of those with the chocolate swirl on the top…”

Tyler smiled. His best friend was awesome in so many ways. But he turned to give Zander his full attention. “What would you like?”

“I don’t know,” Zander replied. “This is all kind of weird for me.”

“That makes two of us.”   

Lesson Six

How Many Shades of Grey are the Clouds?

Tyler opened his front door. “Hey! Anyone home?”

No answer.

He knew Mama wouldn’t be home; she was more than likely visiting Grandma at the Heidelberg Arcare facility a few streets away—and thankfully one well clear of the infamous Rosanna Road.

Saturday was always visiting day.

His Mum on the other hand, he wasn’t too sure about. Sometimes she went with Mama visiting, but it all depended on whether or not she could tear herself away from her painting or if she needed to gain distance from it to give it thought.

He let go of Zander’s hand for the first time since the mall. It felt as though something was missing and he yearned for his touch again as soon as they parted. But there were other things to take care of first. More important things.

“I think Mum might still be home, but you hop in the shower. I’ll go get you some clothes.”

“You…sure?”

Tyler turned to him. “I’ve never been so sure in my life. The bathroom’s down the hall on the left.”

“You…you joining me?”

“No,” Tyler said firmly. Zander looked taken aback. “I told you, I’m not doing this for any return favour, sexual or otherwise. Now go, Mister, before I shove you in there myself. You stink!”

Zander’s lips turned to a smile. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Tyler watched him go. He was momentarily overwhelmed by pangs of guilt, sadness, and empathy. But that only made him more determined. To himself, he whispered, “If it’s the last thing I do, and whether he wants me to be his friend, boyfriend, whatever, I’ll make sure he never has to sleep out in the cold and all alone ever again. No one deserves that.”

“Who you talking to, sweetheart?”

Tyler spun around on his heels. “Mum! Er…no one. But I do need to talk to you.”

“Then I’ll go boil the kettle and get out the Tim Tams.”

Tyler explained everything he knew. From the way Zander was treated by Colin, to what he assumed was the result of their breakup: Zander now living rough as a result. “I mean, I don’t know everything, but…that’s what I do know.”

“You really care about him, don’t you?”

“I really do.”

“Then Mama and I will do whatever we can to help.” She broke off a chunk of Tim Tam, letting it linger on her lips for a moment before swallowing it. She added, “But you’ve got to let him decide how things progress. If you don’t, you’ll be just as bad as that Colin boy. Do you understand what I’m saying, sweetheart?”

Tyler nodded. At that moment, he heard the shower turn off and the old pipes hammered from the sudden change in water pressure. “Better get our guest something to wear, otherwise you’ll have an unsuspecting model for your painting, hey?”

“Oh, I’ve sorted that out already.”

“You have?”

“Go see to your friend.” She shooed him away. “My painting isn’t going anywhere. I’ll reveal it later.”

Tyler pecked her on the cheek, leaving a chocolate-y smudge from the Tim Tams liquidised by the coffee; she wiped it off with the back of her hand but smiled. “You’re the best, Mum. You know that?”

Zander looked a lot better now that he’d showered, although with only a towel wrapped around him, Tyler could see he was painfully thin. All ribs and hip bones, and the beginnings of a paunch that didn’t bode too well about the quality or quantity of food he’d been eating lately.

“Try these on.” Tyler handed him a stack of clothing. “Just chuck your uniform in the hamper there. Mama will throw a fit seeing them all torn up like that, but I’m sure she’ll work her magic and get rid of the stains at least.” 

Again, Zander looked surprised. “Thanks.”

He put the gifted clothing onto the bathroom vanity top. He then thumbed at the towel around him and Tyler’s eyes widened. He so wanted to stay and witness what bounty would be revealed when it was removed, but naturally his Mum’s words echoed in his mind right at that moment. “I’ll be…I’ll just be on the other side of the door…if you need me. Feel free to use any deodorant or whatever from the cabinet.”

“Sure.”

Tyler left the bathroom before his hormones decided they’d rule him and he did something he’d regret. Outside, he pressed his back to the door, head back and breathing heavily. “Shit! That was close. Shit, shit, shit!”

A moment later, the door was opened. Tyler had to step away before he tumbled backwards from his support being taken away. He gasped when he took in Zander’s presence once more. “You look…wow, you look amazing.”

“You’re just saying that cause you want to get into my pants.”

“Technically, they’re my pants.”

Zander cracked a smile, if only briefly. “That may be so…but you still want to, don’t you?”

“Yeah, sure,” Tyler retorted. “I’m busted. I am attracted to you, no damn doubt. Lock me up! But, hey, that’s because you’re one of the most beautiful guys I’ve ever seen. You take my breath away.”

“See?” Zander came closer. He smelt a lot better now, a combination of Rexona Gold, some aloe Vera shampoo thing that was Mama’s latest buy, and Tyler’s own freshly laundered clothing. “You want me bad.”

Tyler’s stomach decided that it needed to join Cirque du Soleil and practice the headline act.

“Sure, who wouldn’t?” he stammered, feeling the heat rise between them. Why had Jordan decided he needed to go to wrestling training? Tyler needed his distracting influence right about now. Zander was reeling him in and he was helpless on the line.

Almost.

With all the strength left in him to resist going all octopus with his hands, he managed to add, “But…but I respect you, too.”

Zander blinked. “I don’t even know what that word means.”

Tyler took Zander’s hand. “Then let me show you.”

Tyler made Zander lunch after he convinced his Mum he wasn’t going to burn down the kitchen just because he decided to put a few of Mama’s homemade Cornish Pasties into the oven to warm through.

Without setting off the smoke detectors, Tyler retrieved the hot pastries and served Zander first. “You’ll love these, they’re so more-ish!”

Zander devoured the pasty in one breath almost.

Tyler was impressed…and concerned. When was the last time he had a decent meal, aside from the bagels Tyler had bought him earlier? 

But Tyler pressed on. “Is there anything else you’d like, Zander? A drink? We’ve got Coke or lemonade. Tea, coffee, or cocoa if you want something hot.”

“I would like something hot, that’d be great.”

The way Zander said “hot” almost made Tyler’s dick twitch to attention, but Tyler dutifully picked up the kettle and brought it to the sink’s tap. Being domestic was a good distraction. “No worries. I’ll pop this on and then make us…what?”

“Coffee…please.”

“Sure. And in return, I think it’s time you told me about what’s happened to you lately.”

Zander shrugged. “Nothing to tell. You wouldn’t want to hear it, anyway.”

“Yes, I would. Now spill while I make our drinks. From the beginning, too. And don’t leave anything out, I want to hear it all.”

“Okay.” Zander shifted his weight on the breakfast bar stool he was sitting on. “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the—” 

“Not that beginning.” Tyler snorted a laugh and Zander joined him. Tyler couldn’t help but notice that laughter made Zander look even more beautiful, like the rays of the sun had finally pierced the storm clouds.

After their fit of giggles, and with his Mum coming in to check they were okay, Zander recounted his story. She disappeared again, back into her studio when reassured they were all good. “When I came out a couple of years ago, my parents disowned me. Just like that.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Eh…it was what it was. They were jerks. But back then, I had Colin. And him and me were good together. I stayed in the spare room and his parents were cool with that. They fed me and helped with school fees and clothing, so long as I pulled my weight—you know, helping his dad in the family owned Garage, being the gofer boy, stuff like that.”

“Then what happened?”

“What do you mean?”

Tyler slid the freshly made coffee over to Zander, the scrape across the bench the mug made feeling more abrasive than usual. “Why did Colin become the Emperor of Doucheville all of a sudden?”

“He got jealous.” Tyler sipped on his coffee, wondering if he was allowed to ask why or if that was rude. Zander must have picked up on the sudden silence and quickly added, “I didn’t sleep around or anything like that. Not back then, anyway. But no matter how much I tried to convince Colin otherwise, he didn’t believe me.”

“And that’s when he started the rumours about you as well?”

Now Zander used the delay of coffee sipping to give himself time. After a long time, what seemed an eternity, the rims of his eyes grew watery. “Yeah, that’s about the sum of it.”

Tyler could guess the rest. “And that day in the toilets? What was that all about? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

“Nothing to tell,” he replied with a shuddering, emotion-filled voice. The words didn’t match the tone, and it pierced Tyler’s heart. “It was basically our breakup blowjob. For real that time.”

“From what I heard, there wasn’t any ‘our’ about it.” 

“Yeah,” Zander sniffled. He sat up straight, attempting to compose himself, no doubt. He breathed in deep with a shuddering sigh.

Tyler could see the emotion drawing on his features, clouding his otherwise gentle face. He wanted to hug him, tell him it would be okay from now on.

But this wasn’t about Tyler and what he wanted; it was about Zander. He had to give him the respect he’d promised, but also needed, by letting him continue. “Go on.”

“That’s how Colin got over the last few weeks. I couldn’t even look at another guy without him rage quitting it at me. We’d broken up many times before that day, anyway. It was over, and what you heard was my attempt at trying to salvage what I could of our relationship. I left his house a week before that; I had to sleep in the toilets at the soccer oval—the janitor let me stay in there if I sucked his dick each night. So, I did. What else could I do?”

Tyler didn’t know what to say, other than, “I’m so, so sorry.”

Zander wiped his eyes. “And for food, I’d have to…well, no prizes for guessing what I had to do to eat something. I didn’t even get more than a couple of slices of stale bread from the last bastard I blew. And Colin didn’t help, no matter how much I begged him. He only wanted my mouth around his dick. And even then, I repulsed him because he found out what I had to do to survive. Like I said, it was really over by then. He just wanted to make sure I was kept in my place or whatever. It’s not like I had many options.”

Tyler hated Colin more and more. He wasn’t Mister Mouth and No Trousers anymore. He was an asshole, pure and simple.

“And…when you got beaten up?”

A tear fell onto Zander’s cheek. “That was because I approached a guy who I thought was into it.” He hiccupped. “I…I only wanted something to eat. Little did I know his mates weren’t too far away.”

Tyler raised his hand to stop the story, his insides in turmoil because of what he’d heard already. He didn’t know how much more he could take. “You don’t have to tell me anymore.”

“I feel so ashamed.” Zander cupped his hands over his face. Moments later, he wept quietly.

Tyler came around the kitchen bench immediately. He put his arm around Zander, comforting him. Now it was the right time.

No more words were spoken between them. No more were needed.

It was then, as Tyler’s heart broke into a billion shards and his own vision misted, that he noticed his Mum had been standing in the doorway. He could just make out that she was surprisingly free of paint smudges; she really had sorted out the issue she’d had with the painting.

How long had she been there?

Tyler nodded to her, his vision becoming even more blurry. His gut was one big, tight ball of hatred for what Zander had to do and what he’d gone through but also relief that he was okay. Mum came over to them, putting her hand onto Zander’s back and rubbing it soothingly. He was now fully hunched over, shaking from his emotions as they poured out of him.

Tears soon flowed from them all.

Chapter Seven

How To See the Signs of An Approaching Storm Front

Monday came too quickly, especially considering Tyler hadn’t gotten Zander that present yet.

Tyler walked with Jordan to school, as he always did.

“Did your Mum really say he could stay with you?”

“Yep. No question about it,” Tyler replied. “When Mama came back from visiting Grandma, we all had dinner together and talked about it. We made up the sofa-bed, and he’s slept there ever since. He said was more than happy to, especially after the cold tiles of the toilets he had to sleep on over the past week or so.”

“Wow. What a story, right? You couldn’t write about it, could you? I mean, you hear of people having to live rough, but you never think in a million years it would be someone you know. You know?”

Tyler had told Jordan everything. It was an unbelievable story, but hopefully one that would have a happy ending now. If Tyler had anything to do with it, it would be.

“I know, Strazzy. But if you weren’t so busy getting all hot and sweaty wearing nothing but an aggressive expression and a wrestling singlet with all the other straight boys on the team, you would have heard it firsthand. It was…incredibly emotional, that’s for sure.”

“Wish I had been there now. Practice was shit. Coach was in a foul mood all afternoon.”

“Why?”

“Probably didn’t get laid,” Jordan chuckled.

As they entered the school grounds, a familiar voice stopped them both dead in their tracks. “Oi, Tyler! I want another word with you!”

Jordan groaned. “Bloody Colin. That’s all we need.”

Before Tyler could think of a way to disappear into the school, the relative safety of its hallways a godsend, Colin loomed over them. His great hulk cast a shadow that blocked the sun.

“Heard you pinched my boyfriend, Tyler! You a slut, too, then?”

Colin didn’t waste any time getting to the point, did he?

“I didn’t pinch anyone—you’d already dumped him. I was only being friendly. Nothing’s happened between us. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Whatever you reckon,” Colin spat.

Jordan shifted his weight and Tyler put his hand onto his arm, cautioning his best friend. “He’s not worth it. Let’s just go.”

The veins in Colin’s neck began to show, purple and as ugly as he was. “You just stay away from Zander, you hear me? He’s still mine, whatever he thinks.”

“Or what?” Jordan spat.

“Or he’s dead, that’s what.” Colin cracked his knuckles. “Dead meat, like you will be as well if you don’t stay away from my property.”

Wait! What? Colin thought of Zander as his property!

“You’re a jerk, Colin!” Tyler snapped with disdain. He felt as though his thoughts had become acid that had dripped down from his head to foul his tongue and he needed to spit them out.

“What did you call me?”

Oh, here we go again.

But this time, Jordan was there. “He called you a jerk, jerk. And he’s also telling you that you’re no longer with Zander, so it’s none of your goddamn business what they do together. Get me, asswipe?”

Colin balled his fists. “I don’t like your tone, Straczynski.”

“Good.” Jordan stood his ground.

With a new-found confidence, thanks to Jordan, Tyler chimed in, “Besides, you’re the one who went out with Zander. We know all about how much of a jerk you really are.”

“Yeah, well.” Colin’s face reddened. “You’re the one who wants to go out with a dead man now, aren’t you? So, who’s the jerk here?”

“Oh, that would still be you, Colin.”

Colin snorted. “You like doing it with dead meat now, do you?”

“Well, Zander did you,” Tyler retorted, folding his arms defiantly. “I mean, I heard loud and clear that what you got between your legs is pretty dead, even when you’ve got a hot guy on his knees in front of you.”

“You better not be spreading that sort of stuff around about me, Tyler!”

Colin growled as he came closer. His meaty hands were clasped together, threateningly.

Tyler swallowed.

He felt the threat as if Colin’s words were already strangling him. He knew he’d crossed the line with his last comment, and he stepped back. Although, it wasn’t so much to back down as to stop from retching: Colin’s foul breath now fumigated his personal space.

Jordan must have picked up on Colin’s shift in mood and he stepped in- between them protectively. “What was that?” Jordan postured. “I hope you didn’t just threaten my boy here.”

Tyler could feel Jordan’s impish grin even though he couldn’t see beyond the back of his head and broad shoulders.

Tyler breathed a sigh of relief.

Jordan had given him a precious moment to gather his wits. Things had gotten a little more intense than he was comfortable with.              

Tyler couldn’t help but think about how Jordan was not only a great guy, but that he’d also stand by him no matter what. Being the captain of the school’s senior wrestling team also helped matters. The boy sure knew how to defend himself.

That last point Tyler knew all too well. It was one of the reasons why Mama’s first aid kit never got a chance to be put back into its rightful place inside the pantry while he learned the sport; practice sessions sometimes got rough, even in the living room.

Within a couple of months, Jordan knew how to pin a guy in three seconds flat—or in Colin’s case, before the two brain cells floating around his head communicated with each other that it was indeed Jordan standing in front of him. If Colin wasn’t careful, he’d be dropped in front of everyone who had gathered around like vultures waiting for a helpless antelope to bleed out from a lion’s attack.

Tyler really loved his best friend. More than words could express. 

After an eternity, and with a quiet enveloping the scene so profoundly that only the turn of the Earth could be perceived, Colin backed off. “Whatever.”

Tyler breathed another sigh of relief.

That was close.  

Although, he knew Colin wasn’t really a threat, not with Jordan by his side. Tyler recalled all the times they used to horse-play—still horse-played. Only last week, Jordan was in a particularly exuberant mood after winning some sort of trophy while wearing that wrestling singlet that left nothing to the imagination, his sweat patches highlighting it even more. Tyler couldn’t help but notice—along with everyone else watching—that the boy sure did have a big knob. As a result of all that pent-up winning energy, Tyler suffered a wrestling match on the living room carpet. Why he’d agreed to it was anyone’s guess. Sometimes it was hard to say no to Jordan. 

“Jeez, can you get your crotch outta my face, Strazzy!” he’d yelled as Jordan sat on his chest, his knees pinning Tyler’s arms…yet again. “I give up!”

At that, Mama entered the living room. “When you two boys have finished playing your homoerotic games, I need some help in the kitchen. Those potatoes don’t peel themselves, you know.”

Jordan got up, offering his hand to Tyler; he accepted, soon up on his feet as well. “Wrestling isn’t gay, Missus El. It’s a sport.”

She eyed him suspiciously. “Oh, right. And Ru Paul isn’t a drag queen.”

“Help me out here, Ty,” Jordan pleaded. “Tell your Mama I’m right. Back me up, huh?”

Tyler always backed up Jordan; that’s what best friends did. But at the same time, any opportunity to cause embarrassment couldn’t go unanswered.

“Well…” He tried to stifle a burst of laughter. The look on Jordan’s face was priceless, deep brown-coloured eyebrows fashion models would kill for knitted. “I mean, she may have a point. If you were wearing that wrestling singlet of yours and not jeans, your bulge could have just rested on my chin for a coffee break. If that’s not as gay as a unicorn’s fart, I don’t know what is.”

“Oh wow, I’m in the wrong house, aren’t I?” But Jordan now held a cheeky smile. “Please, someone rescue me from this nightmare.”

“How about I make your favourite for dinner tonight, Jordan?” Mama offered. “As compensation for all your suffering with us heathens who just don’t understand the nuances of straight culture.” 

“Is it gonna be your famous cottage pie?” Jordan licked his lips.

Funny how food can really get a guy to do just about anything.

“If that’s what you want, then yes.”

“I mean, you’ll be doing the one with the extra tasty gravy, right?” Jordan’s eyes had grown as large as his belly.

Tyler suppressed a chuckle behind his hand.

“Is there any other kind?” Mama replied.

“Okay. But just to put it all official like and on the record…wrestling isn’t gay.”

Mama rolled her eyes to the heavens.

“Whatever you say, Strazzy,” Tyler said, patting him on his back. “Whatever you say.”

At the end of that happy memory, one that made Tyler smile whenever he thought about it—as it was a rare victory against Jordan—he was knocked from his reverie by a nudge.

“Hey, there’s your man Zander over there,” Jordan said. “And he doesn’t look happy, does he?”

Tyler was confused.

He thought Zander had spent the morning with Mum getting his new uniform. Or had they done that already? He couldn’t make out from the distance if Zander was in a new uniform or not. If he wasn’t, why was he here now? Why not still with Mum? And surely Mum should have been with him, either way.

But more worryingly, why didn’t Zander look happy?

Before Tyler could contemplate such matters, Colin had made a bee-line for him. The lion had decided there was easier prey on the horizon…

Tyler knew the exact moment Zander spotted Colin, because he froze.

Tyler’s stomach was now on the second act of its Cirque du Soleil performance.

“Shit!” Jordan yelled, grabbing Tyler’s arm so tight he gasped. “Colin’s not gonna let this go. It’s gonna be on like Donkey Kong!”

Tyler had no choice but to run with Jordan towards the brewing storm. 

Lesson Eight

How to Scare Away Predators

Tyler was thankful for Jordan’s quick thinking, even if it was done rather unceremoniously. When they got there, there wasn’t a moment to spare.

Zander was already on his ass, eyes red-rimmed and watery.

He looked as frightened as a rabbit locked within the jaws of a fox, his backpack’s contents strewn over the grass next to him. All Tyler could hear was Colin yelling abuse, fists at the ready.               “…dirty slut. Everyone else’s dick not enough for you? Now you want Tyler’s as well?!”

Tyler saw red.

Without thinking, he pulled himself out of Jordan’s grip and grabbed the back of Colin’s school blazer. He yanked with all his might. Colin span around to face him.

“What the…?” Colin’s expression reflected his anger at being disturbed from his prize. He swung a meat hook at Tyler.

Tyler dodged the attack. He was incensed now, much more than how Colin looked. “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH ZANDER!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, breathing hard with his whole insides on fire from his anger. Seeing Zander on the floor, defenceless and threatened, only added more fuel to the hate he’d always felt for Colin.

“Shit!” Jordan muttered from behind him.

Colin sneered and then pushed Tyler with both hands square on his chest, quick as a lightning strike. All the air left Tyler’s lungs in one agonising instant.

He staggered back and Jordan caught him. “You can’t be the hero here, Ty. Let me deal—” 

“Like hell.” He gasped and coughed as the oxygen returned.  

Tyler’s vision tunnelled. All he could see was what he wanted to do to Colin’s face. He took a moment to compose himself and shake off Jordan’s hold. With all he could muster within him, he charged at Colin.

The meathead had diverted his attention back to Zander.

His mistake.

Tyler went for him at a full run, folding his arms tight against himself, his body slamming Colin moments later. He knew his fists would be ineffective against such bulk, so he decided to use the brute’s own bulk against himself. Tyler became a battering ram, one even brick-built houses couldn’t withstand, he was sure.

As he struck Colin’s mass, he lost his air again.

“Omph” was the cry that rattled his insides as he did so.

Then pain seared through him, but he didn’t care.

Colin lost his balance.

He fell.

The jerk was soon eating dirt.

A lot more students had gathered, and the teachers wouldn’t be far behind if the crowd remained. Some were cheering, most gawked. A few had their phone’s cameras at the ready.   

Jordan once more caught Tyler, as he lost his balance from the force of the strike. Tyler sang silent praises that Jordan was there. Again. “If I have to save your ass one more time, I’m asking for protection payments.”

Tyler couldn’t speak. Sweat from both his anger and the exertion poured out of every pore. He had to blink away the sting of them. He breathed heavy, his heart racing. Everything seemed a blur, his ears filled with the sound of his blood rushing through him to try and return his body’s systems back to normal.

While Zander needed him, while he was hurt, there would be no normal. 

Colin clambered back up to his feet. “Oh…you’re so dead, Tyler!”

“Bring it on,” Jordan declared. “‘Cause you’ll need to kill the both of us.”

 “Fine by me,” Colin shouted.

“Correction, Jordan,” a voice to Tyler’s left chimed in. “Colin will have to get rid of all three of us.”

Tyler took a moment to register who was speaking. He blinked again, wiping his face with the back of his hand. With it back at his side but still all sweaty, a warm and trembling hand slipped into it.

A familiar hand.

A hand he welcomed.

“Zander?”

Tyler’s other hand was held as well. What? He turned. Jordan held that one. Together, all three of then stood defiant before Colin. Already in shock, he nearly fell over when Zander said, “If you want to hurt my boyfriend and my best friend, then you’re sadly outnumbered, Colin.”

“Boyfriend?” Tyler gasped, feeling pinned by that word, as if he were an exotic butterfly on a lepidopterist’s display board. He was unable to believe the word he’d just heard, what Zander had just declared in front of the whole school—or those who desired free entertainment, anyway.

And not too good to be true, I hope.

“Hey, Colin!” Jordan’s voice pulled Tyler back to the moment. “How about you take a long walk off a short pier? Do us all a favour.”

Cheers and “Oohs” from the gathered masses.

Colin scowled but turned away in a huff and an avalanche of swear words. He was pushing his way through the crowd seconds later; some innocent kid copped a smack upside his head for his troubles.

Colin’s hasty exit was good timing. A teacher approached—yelling stuff teachers usually shouted when it came to investigating student gatherings that looked suspicious.

But really, nothing had happened other than a bit of shoving and some overenthusiastic, testosterone-infused posturing. Tyler was thankful for that. Because now, after the dust had settled, he was suddenly as nervous as hell. He’d never done anything like that in his life. And what’s more, Zander had called him his boyfriend.

Him!

Zander’s boyfriend!

What? 

Sure, Tyler’s need to help Zander overtook years of cowardice. But to have earned that word as a result was amazing. Simply amazing. Tyler’s insides were doing the encore of the Cirque du Soleil performance…still.

All this, and the school day hadn’t even started yet.

After a brief explanation to the teacher, they were let off. Zander hadn’t let go of Tyler’s hand all through it. “You called me your boyfriend,” he uttered, now able to speak.

“Yeah.” Zander’s cheeks blushed. “If you’re okay with that, of course.”

“Okay with it? I’m great with it! But I didn’t think you wanted a boyfriend…not after all you’ve been though.”

“What you did for me proved you were a man of your word, as you’d said you were back at the bakery. Remember? And no one has ever kept their word to me before. Ever.”

Tyler remembered. He couldn’t help it; in front of the rest of the crowd and one perplexed teacher, he hugged Zander. He embraced him with all his might, wrapping him up in his arms so he could let himself go and fall into him with every breath he held. Their bodies almost as one, Zander returned the hug with just as much relief and acceptance.

Finally, Zander rested his head into the crook of Tyler’s neck, his breath tickling but comforting at the same time. He was wearing a new uniform, Tyler noticed. But why was he sad earlier?  

“Get a room, you two,” Jordan snorted with laughter. 

Tyler ignored him and pulled away to look at Zander. “What happened after Mum bought you your uniform? You didn’t look too happy from what I saw. Even before Colin came blundering in.” 

Zander shrugged and replied, “Because…I didn’t think I deserved what you all did for me over the past couple of days. I was going to run away. I was going to leave before I became too much of a burden.”

Tyler hugged him again. “You’ll never be a burden to me or my mothers,” Tyler whispered into his ear. “You’ve got to believe that.”

“Your mothers are cool. And…and I do believe that now.”

“I’m glad. And as my boyfriend, they’re your mothers as well.”

“I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

Zander let out a gentle but nervous laugh, one no longer laden by the weight of his situation. “I’ve never had a boyfriend like you.”

“And I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

That afternoon, Tyler, Zander, Mama, and Jordan were instructed by his Mum to line up in the middle of the lounge room and await further instructions.

Tyler guessed what it was about, confirmed when she requested, “Now all of you, close your eyes.”

Tyler did so; he couldn’t vouch for the others. Jordan was no doubt sneaking a peek, like he always did. After a movement of awkward silence, there was the unmistakable sound of wooden struts being extended as Mum set up her portable easel.

More comings and goings, and then, “You can open them now!”

On the easel was the completed painting of the Venus de Milo and their rather interesting appendage. Thankfully, it wasn’t green or any other lurid colour to highlight its dick-y attributes, now painted in a more respectable Michelangelo’s David style. It was also in proportion and in the same tones as the rest of the person it belonged to. In the background, the rainbow flag flew, held up by men, women, and children from all walks of life. The statement bold, brilliant and…

“That’s beautiful, Mum,” Tyler declared, his throat tight. “I’m so proud of you.”

Jordan gasped, “That chick’s got a dick!”

“Quite a statement, indeed.” Zander nodded thoughtfully.

Mama embraced Mum. “It’s your best piece yet, Doreen. And our son’s right. It’s beautiful, just like the person who painted it.”

“I had the local gallery curator around earlier. She wants to hang it in the next major exhibition they’re doing. She’ll take her introductory commission, which is quite steep, but I’m delighted people will see my work. It’s kind of scary and exciting all at the same time.”

Tyler hugged his Mum, too. “That’s great news.”

Mama broke away. “I expect you all to stay for dinner. We’re having a celebration. Oh, and Zander, you’re more than welcome to help me prepare it.”              

“Wha?” Zander looked perplexed.

Jordan leaned over to him, nudging his shoulder. “That means Missus El wants to talk to you—get to know you better. You know, girl talk and all that.”

“Oh?”

Tyler smiled. “It also means you’re a part of this family now. It’s a privilege to be included in kitchen duties when Mama’s in there cooking up a storm.”

“Right-o then…” Zander agreed. “I’ll be…I’ll be honoured to help, in that case.”

When Zander and Mama had disappeared, Mum said, “He’s a good boy, and we all love him to pieces. But there’s a lot of stuff he’s still got to work out for himself. He’s been through a lot from what you’ve told us.”

“I’ll make sure he’s all right, Mum.”

“I know you will, sweetheart.” She ruffled Tyler’s hair. “But if you want him to stay in your room with you, we accept that. You’re old enough to make mature decisions. Just be responsible…if you know what I mean.”

“Jeez, Mum.”

Jordan piped up, “Hey, where will I sleep on the weekends, then?”

“Sorry, Strazzy, but you’ve been demoted for a better model.”

Jordan shrugged. “Perhaps I should have put out ages ago. That way I wouldn’t be forced out onto the sofa-bed, hey?”

“You’ll survive,” Mum drawled, bringing him in for a hug, too.

“You’re right, Missus Dee,” Jordan resigned. “Besides, I only really stay here for the food, you know.”

“We know.” Mum laughed.

Lesson Nine

How to Understand the Human Heart

The evening was balmy.

Not that it mattered what the weather was like. Tyler felt hot all over anyway. Zander hadn’t taken his eyes off him the whole time they ate, drank, and laughed together as one big happy family.

Tyler loved it.

Mama even produced a bottle of wine. Tyler felt quite giddy after only one glass…and even warmer. If that was at all possible.

After dinner, when Jordan had finally decided it was time to leave and Tyler hugged him goodnight before seeing him out, Zander helped Mama clean up and stack the dishes into the dishwasher.

“He’s really into you, isn’t he?” Mum said when Tyler returned from saying goodbye. “Zander, I mean.”

“I think Strazzy and I did more than save him from an asshole and a bully today, Mum.” Tyler sighed happily. “But yeah, he’s really making it known, isn’t he?”

She put down her wine glass. “You’re a good boy, you know that? And I can see why he feels the way he does about you. Who wouldn’t?”

“Thanks.” Tyler grew warmer, this time he flushed because his next words were something he’d never imagined he’d say out loud. “I know you said it was okay earlier…but would it be okay…if…you know…instead of Zander sleeping on the sofa-bed…he could sleep with me in my room tonight?”

Mum raised an eyebrow. “I did say it was okay, and it is okay. But I also said you could so long as you were responsible. I know you haven’t planned this, so I’m going to be blunt here and say, where are you getting the protection from?”

“Mum, I don’t know if we’re going that far yet.” Tyler blushed embarrassment along with the heat he felt for Zander. “That’ll be up to him.”

“Things happen in the spur of the moment, young man. Best to be prepared. Did you want me to pop out to the late-night pharmacy for you?”

“No need.”

Her eyebrow raised higher. “When did you—?”

Together they chimed, “Jordan.”

“Yeah,” Tyler said. “He slipped a packet of condoms into my pocket when I said goodbye to him.”

“Now there’s a friend who looks out for you.”

“He sure does. But let’s just hope they’re normal ones, not anything weird like neon pink or flavoured or ribbed or whatever. I don’t want my first time with a boy to be awkward or embarrassing.”

“Oh, trust me, sweetheart. It will be awkward and embarrassing.”

“For me, anyway.” Tyler began to feel pangs of nerves stab at him. “Zander’s a bit more experienced than I am.”

“He’ll feel the same, because he’s going to be with someone he has feelings for. And that’s completely different, especially from his past experiences.”

“So…so what can I do to stop it from becoming an awkward mess of apologies?”

Mum picked up her glass of wine, sipping on it for a moment. “The best advice I can give you is to not make it too serious. It’s about love, remember, and love built on a foundation of every emotion will grow to be the strongest.”

“I think I have just the thing in mind.” Tyler got up and pecked her on the cheek. “Thanks, Mum.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”  

Tyler dashed towards the bedroom.

Zander sat on Tyler’s bed.

The bedside lamp’s light made him look even more stunning than usual, softening the harsher lines from his experiences of late. His hair, dark and swooping, fell into his eyes a few times. He raked it back. Tyler couldn’t help but become more and more intrigued and enamoured by the boy who had changed his life, all while wearing the night-time clothing he’d lent him: white shorts and a black round-necked T-shirt.

Which was weird because, aside from the borrowed clothing, Zander would no doubt say the same thing about Tyler.

They’d changed each other’s lives.

“What?” Zander asked gently, his smile widening and his gaze still glued on Tyler’s heart.

Nerves prickled, but Tyler knew the time was now; he had to reveal everything. As his Mum had told him: build love on a solid ground and you can’t go wrong. “I did have a present for you.”

“You did?”

“Yeah…but you see, there was this cute boy standing by a bakery shop’s window that sort of distracted me. And now I don’t have anything to give you.”

“I see.” Zander shifted his weight and the bed’s springs squeaked. “Do I have competition then?”              

Tyler swallowed. He was so nervous now he began sweating from his eyeballs. “Of course not,” he said, voice trembling. If the ice-breaker he had in mind didn’t work, he’d just leave. He’d sleep on the sofa-bed and die of embarrassment. “But I got you something else—something better, I think.”

Zander’s face lit up. “Oh?”

Tyler thumbed his shorts. “Yeah.” He pulled them down, revealing his now infamous pair of Superman briefs. “I wore these for you. Because—well, because you see, you’re my Kryptonite. And I can’t do anything else right now but think about kissing you.”

Zander’s eyes widened. “You sure are stretching out that ‘S’ there, aren’t you, Superman?”

Tyler couldn’t help it; he burst into laughter. Sure, it was laugher still filled with nerves, anxiety, and some fear from not knowing, but before he could worry any more about it, Zander laughed with him.

They embraced.

In a blink of an eye, both were on the bed, Tyler on top of Zander. Unlike when he wrestled with Jordan, this felt completely different. For a start, not only was Tyler stretching his Superman underwear to the limit of their structural integrity, but the shorts Zander wore weren’t far behind either. Feeling another boy against him like that was thrilling…and so damn hot!  

“Close your eyes,” Tyler gasped.

Zander obeyed with a smile. Tyler touched the expressive curve of flesh, desperately committing that moment to memory and coursing his finger over Zander’s lips slowly. Zander shuddered and began writhing underneath Tyler’s weight.

Tyler’s breathing became erratic. He wasn’t done using Zander’s heated skin as his playground. He caressed his face and neck, again the sensation electric and wonderful. Zander shuddered, this time with a moan that held the weight of their passion.

“Can I kiss you?” Tyler whispered into Zander’s ear.

“If you don’t, I’m going to kiss you.”

Tyler cupped Zander’s face. Then, in slow motion, pressed his lips where he so desired them to be. The sensation was raw, electrifying, and all encompassing. His emotions heightened; euphoric and reliving but he was still painfully anxious. Now there were other concerns. Was he doing it right? Was he a good kisser? Tyler loved it, but self-reward was no praise.

As Tyler’s worry peaked, Zander returned the kiss. He also wrapped his arms tighter around Tyler for good measure. His moans were intoxicating and inspiring, especially when their tongues connected.

Oh, my God! If this is what it’s like to kiss a boy, bring on everything else! Stat!

Tyler and Zander kissed. As they did, the blood rushed to Tyler’s head, making him feel giddy. He had to part to catch his breath and compose himself. The moment he did, he regretted the break in sensual contact, so he kissed Zander again, this time for longer than that last.  

Sometime during the eternity that ended too prematurely, Tyler felt himself edge towards the inevitable. The pressure of not only Zander’s lips against his but his velvet, sensuous tongue exploring his mouth and the feeling of his hardness against his own was too much.

Tyler parted their kiss. “Oh…shit!”

A shudder and a flush of embarrassment later, Zander kissed Tyler again, but not before he said, “You got yourself a little wet and sticky there, Superman?”

Tyler wanted to get off Zander, rush to the bathroom, and stay there. But at the same time, he didn’t want to leave Zander’s embrace. “Yeah…sorry. I…I told you…you’re my Kryptonite. And besides, I’m not very…experienced, as you can tell.”

Not only am I probably a terrible kisser, I blew my damn load before I could even get it out of my underwear! 

“I don’t care how inexperienced you are,” Zander said. “I’m falling in love with you, and that’s all that matters.”

“You are?”

“Sure am.”

After Tyler caught some of his breath back, he managed, “I feel the same about you.”

They kissed again.

This time not so frantic. Tyler eased into it more and Zander let him.

When they parted, Zander breathed, “And besides, I’d like to get wet and sticky with you too. Then we can start over. How about it?”

“What did you want me to do to get you hot and sticky, beautiful?”

“No one’s ever asked me that before,” Zander gasped, his breathing hard and heavy. “What I mean is…no one’s ever kissed me the way you’ve kissed me before.”

Tyler felt some relief on hearing that. This was new ground for Zander, too. “I’d like to…if it’s okay…I’d like to know what it feels like to have you in my mouth.”

Zander’s eyes widened once more. “Um…wow. No one has done that for me. Ever!”

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly.”

Tyler got up. “I’ll be right back then.” He rushed to the bathroom, removed his underwear, and cleaned himself up as best he could consider his insides were now boiling again, carnal desires mixed in with those nerves. What’s more, he was already hardening again. He retrieved the condoms Jordan gave him; thank God they looked normal upon closer inspection.

Moments later, he was back in his bedroom.

The boy who had filled his dreams and desires for so long was sprawled on his bed, naked as the day he was born. And…wow. Jordan’s junk might be impressive, in or out of a wrestling singlet, but Zander’s assets took Tyler’s breath away.

“You’re…so beautiful…Zander,” was all he could manage as he climbed onto the bed. To experience skin on skin, all of it, was mind-blowing. They hugged and kissed some more, before Tyler plucked up enough courage to do as he’d promised.

Having a dick, seeing another boy’s dick, even touching another dick, was completely different to having one in your mouth. It was strange, but so right all at the same time. As Tyler did his best to breath and relax enough to enjoy it, he couldn’t help but preen. Zander is loving what I’m doing here! Wow. This is the ultimate gift you can give a guy. To be so open, vulnerable, so intimate. I could get used to this.

Tyler’s jaw began to ache. As he paused his action, catching his breath, and with his nerves still shouting at him to tell him he hadn’t even done the blowjob right, Zander cried out, “You’re so hot! I want you!” What did Zander mean by that? Before Tyler could ask, Zander added, “Make love to me, my Superman!”

The next few moments were a blur.

Tyler felt a little overwhelmed by both excitement—which manifested itself all too visibly—and anxiety. There was a lot of awkward positioning, repositioning, knee knocking, elbow bumps, starts and restarts, and giggles.

Those giggles soon turned to laugher.

So much laughter, in fact, that by the time Tyler was done and had tied the condom off, Zander was a dreamy, smiling mess underneath him. 

Being inside a boy I now know for sure I love was…amazing! I mean…

Tyler couldn’t even finish his thoughts. Zander pulled him down for another kiss, hotter and more passionate than any that proceeded it.

WOW!

Hours later, and after more kisses and laughter, Tyler finally relaxed.

That is, until it came time for Zander to mention the inevitable. “I want to be inside you now, my Superman.”

“You do?” Tyler breathed, nerves raising up like the Walking Dead within him. He pushed them back down. They wouldn’t conquer him anymore. He knew there was nothing to worry about. This was so right. So natural. And Zander was perfect. Tyler did want him.

“I so do.”

“Then I’m ready.” 

There were moments of awkwardness all over again. But Zander was gentle, considerate, and took his time. God, it hurt, but in a good way.

Having the boy I love inside me is…mind-blowing and… “Oh, wow!” Tyler called out. “Yes!”

He didn’t last much longer after that; neither did Zander.

The kisses during and after made it all the better.

Exhausted and in each other’s arms, Zander breathed, “I really do love you. You know that, Tyler?”

“I love you, too.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

They lingered in their embrace, one that Tyler knew could never last as long as he hoped. But while he held Zander close, he would make it matter…because Zander mattered. There were even more kisses, before Tyler reluctantly broke their contact and rolled over so he could turn out the bedside lamp’s light.

“Where to from here then, Superman?”

“Oh, I don’t know, beautiful. How about I just hold onto you forever while we’re in our Fortress of Solitude, basking in each other’s love?”

“I can live with that.”

The End

Author’s Note

There are so many people to thank once again. Most of all, I’d like to thank one of my dearest friends, mentor, and editor extraordinaire, Charlie, for their continued and unfaltering support as I wrestle with my demons.

All my stories feature the use of condoms—especially in this Cute Gay Romance series. Not only does safe sex help prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, using them with the one you want to be intimate with is a sign of both respecting them and respecting yourself. And that’s important, too!               

Thank you for reading!

More to come in the “Cute Gay Romance” series with: “The New Boy Next Door, Uh-Oh! (Coming June 15th, 2019)

Also by Eridani Books

The Arty Tekken Chronicles:

Book One: The Battle of Crystal and Water

Book Two: The Struggle of Flesh and Stone *includes the bonus short story: The Scarab Beetle Key

Book Three: The War of Mind and Matter *includes the bonus short story: Arty and Tobias.

Short Stories/Novellas:

Enough Blue Sky to Mend a Pair of Sailor’s Trousers

Dylan’s Love

Dylan’s Love 2 (Coming August 15th 2019)

About the Author

I write LGBTQ+ stories. As a therapist who helps people with all sorts of conditions, injuries, and disabilities I'm an advocate for those people, especially if they're teens.