Haunted Seas

A San Capistrano Short Story

By

Angelique Jurd

♦ ♦ ♦

Haunted Seas (A San Capistrano Short Story) Copyright © 2018 by Angelique Jurd. All Rights Reserved.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

Cover designed by May Dawney Designs

Edited by Penny Tsallos, Small Black Cat Media

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Angelique Jurd

Visit my website at www.angeliquejurd.com

Printed in the United States of America

Published by

Small Black Cat Media

2018

WEDNESDAY

Something smashes into the back of Alex’s legs knocking him off balance. He steadies himself against the wall and looks down to find his younger daughter, Lucy, grinning up at him from the depths of a fuzzy blue costume.

“Stitch, Daddy, I Stitch.” She holds her arms out and he hefts her up against his shoulder, dodging the sticky ice-cream mouth she’s aiming at him to be kissed. Instead he pretends to bite her neck through the fuzzy costume making her squirm and giggle. “Had ice-c’eam.”

“So I see.” He turns to greet Ben and Ally coming down the hallway. Ally is still wearing the Wonder Woman t-shirt and jeans she wore to school this morning. He raises an eyebrow in query. “Where’s your costume monster?”

“Papa said it has to stay in the car, so I don’t get it dirty.”  She shoots a baleful look at Ben as she speaks. “It’s not fair, Lulu got to wear hers.”

Alex bites his cheek to keep from laughing at her indignance and raises an eyebrow as he leans over her to kiss Ben. They ignore her protest to not be smushy.

“Please tell me you’re done for the day.” Ben takes Lucy back. Alex notices his unknotted tie is askew and there’s a smear of what looks like strawberry ice-cream on his shirt. There are gray smudges beneath his green eyes, and his normally well combed blond hair resembles a bird nest. “She’s on form today.”

In his arms, Lucy wriggles to get free. “Down. Down, Papa.”

As soon as she hits the ground, she darts toward the reception area before Ben can stop her. Alex grins when Ann lifts her to sit on the edge of her desk and offers her a lollipop from her jar. Ally turns hopeful eyes to him and he nods. She runs to the receptionist.

“Court go okay?”

“Court was a breeze compared to our daughter. I think we’re going to have to buy the Stitch costume if the fit she threw when I tried to take it off her at the store is anything to go by.” He scrubs his hand up over his face. “Maybe she’s been possessed.”

“Idiot.” Alex’s mouth twitches. “Let me just put these away and we can go.”

When he returns, Ben is at the reception desk chatting with Ann and Alex is unsurprised to see he too has a lollipop. Lucy is still sitting on the desk, but Ally has wandered into the waiting area where she’s found the pile of children’s books they keep there. When he tries to pick Lucy up she protests and kicks at him until finally he lets her slither down to scamper over to her sister and snatch at her book.

“Papa! Make her stop!” Ally holds the toddler at bay with one hand and her book in the air with the other.

“Told you. Possessed.” Ben strides over, picks up a now shrieking Lucy and starts toward the door. “Thanks for the lollipop Ann.”

“Two through to four are such fun years. Not.” Ann, a grandmother of four already, shakes her head with a laugh. “I do not miss that. When my grandbabies start I send them on home.”

“Don’t blame you.” Alex turns to Ally and holds out his hand. “Come on monster, time to go. Say bye to Ann.”

Ally returns the books to the shelf and skips over to them. She takes Alex’s hand, leaning against his leg as she says goodbye.

“You make sure Daddy brings you in, so I can see you dressed as Wonder Woman, okay sweetie?”

As soon as he opens the clinic’s door, they’re met with the sound of angry squeals and sobs. From where they stand, Alex can see Ben dodging angry blows and Lucy arching her back as she fights having the car set harness attached.

“No! No! No! No! Bad Papa! No! No!”

“When Papa said she had to take Stitch off, she bit him.” Ally’s voice is solemn. “Papa said a bad word.”

No sooner are the words out of her mouth than Lucy whips around and sinks her teeth into Ben’s shoulder making him yelp yet another bad word. Ally nods in confirmation when Alex glances at her and they hurry over to the car. Alex nudges Ben out of the way.

“Help Ally with her seatbelt.”

Lucy is in full temper tantrum now and Alex is surprised they haven’t attracted more attention. He places a firm hand on her chest to hold her still and yanks the harness over her head. Clicks it into place and draws back and holds his index finger up.

“Lucy! Stop! Right now!”

Lucy stops mid-shriek, her face shiny with tears, snot, and spit while her breath comes in short, angry gasps. She glares at him with the intensity seemingly reserved for toddlers and hellfire and brimstone preachers, then her face crumples and she begins to sob.

Alex ignores her and shuts the door. He slides into the passenger seat and pulls his own seatbelt over his chest. With a deep, pained sigh, Ben starts the car and eases it out of the parking lot, into the late afternoon traffic.

♦ ♦ ♦

“But Papa, it’s not fair. I don’t want to watch Lilo and Stitch again. We watched it last night. I want to watch ‘Spicable Me.” Ally, dressed in pajamas and blonde hair in short braids, stomps her foot.

Ben takes a deep breath through his nose, grits his teeth, and points the remote at the entertainment system.

“I told you Ally. You can watch Despicable Me for a little while after dinner.”

“But that’s not fair, Lulu always gets what she wants.” She crosses her arms over her chest and turns her back on him.

“Hey, Ally, you can watch it on my laptop if you want. And use my headphones.”

Lounging against the door jamb to his bedroom, Jamie has grown a good four inches since he came to live with them. At nearly seventeen, there is only the faintest hint of the sick, underweight, frightened child they’d taken in a year ago. His acne has cleared up, he’s gained weight, and his skin no longer has the dull gray of exhaustion clinging to it. His hair is currently black with red tips - last week the tips were green - and Ben notices there’s a new ring in the top of his ear. When did that happen?

“The purple ones?” Ally sends Ben a look that tells him his position as favorite of the moment has been usurped. She follows Jamie into the bedroom and Ben can hear him explaining that she can only use the purple headphones if she’s extra careful with them.

Lucy, in Lilo and Stitch pajamas, is curled on a beanbag, her Stitch plushie under one arm, watching her favorite film. Her eyelids are already drooping, and Ben will be surprised if she makes it five minutes let alone to dinner. He probably should have insisted she eat first but he’s dealt with three tantrums since picking her up and frankly, he wants a drink, a kiss from Alex, and ten minutes of peace.

He splashes two fingers of scotch into a tumbler, pours a glass of port for Alex and is heading into the kitchen when Jamie and Ally return. A lead trails from Jamie’s laptop to purple headphones covering Ally’s ears. She gives Ben a triumphant smile as she clambers onto the sofa and settles in. Grateful for the silence, he goes into the kitchen where he finds Alex putting something in the microwave. He presses a kiss to the spot beneath his ear as he puts the glass on the counter in front of him. Slumps into a chair with a sigh.

“Was Ally this bad? I don’t remember Ally being this bad.”

Alex snorts and mutters something about selective memory.

“Want me to do anything?” Ben sips his drink, enjoying the view when Alex bends to get something from one of the lower cupboards.

“Nope.” Alex drops the bowl he’s found in the sink, picks up his port, and leans back against the counter. He runs his hand through his hair, pushing the long chestnut strands back from his face, and Ben feels a rush of love for him. Something must show on his own face because Alex’s brown eyes light up and his mouth twitches. “What?”

“Nothing, just thinking how much I love y -”

The door swings open and Bart pads in, followed by Jamie, laughing over his shoulder at something happening in the other room. The Labrador goes to Alex, tail thumping against the cupboard doors, before snuffling at the empty food bowl, and finally drops to the floor at Ben’s feet with a small wuff.  Jamie slides onto one of the bar stools by the kitchen island and raps his knuckles on the countertop.

“Dinner smells good.” He slides his hands along the marble surface. “I think Lulubug’s asleep.”

To Ben’s surprise Alex shrugs.

“I’ll take her up in a minute. For now, let’s just enjoy the lack of screaming.”

Jamie kicks the counter and sucks his teeth.

“Something on your mind kiddo?” Ben stretches his legs out in front of him and sips his drink, watching the teen with amusement.

“So, uh on Saturday, is it okay if Leo and I only stay for a little while and then go to a party in town?” The words tumble out and his eyes dart from Ben to Alex and back again.

“Whose party?” Alex asks as he turns back toward the stove.

“Carly Sanders. She’s in Leo’s homeroom. Everyone’s going.”

“Everyone huh?”

“Well, all of the senior class are going.” Jamie jumps off the stool, grabs the pile of placemats and napkins, and starts setting the table.

“But you’re not a senior.” Ben yelps when Alex smacks the back of his head with a spatula.

“Leo is th…” Jamie trails off when he realizes he’s being teased and glares at Ben. “So, is it okay?”

“I can’t see why not. Alex?” He raises an eyebrow and Alex shakes his head. “You know the drill, chores, address, phone number, no…”

“No alcohol, I know.”

“Decided on a costume yet?” Ben picks up his drink.

“Mmmhmmm.” Something in his tone catches Ben’s attention but Jamie avoids his eye. “Frank N. Furter.”

An amber shower of scotch sprays over Ben’s shirt when he chokes on his drink. Jamie’s been obsessed with The Rocky Horror Picture Show ever since he discovered Ben’s DVD copy a month ago. He and Ben even convinced Alex to watch it with them one evening after discovering he’d never seen it.  It’s one of Ben’s favorite films and he’s enjoyed having someone to share it with. That said...he’s not sure he’s up to seeing his teenage foster son in a suspender belt and heels for Halloween.

“I think,” Alex offers Ben a dishcloth to mop himself up with, “you can take that as a no.”

“Dad, please?” Jamie, Ben notes, turns so he’s facing only Alex in what he assumes is an attempt to get his back- up. “Everyone goes as Freddy or Dracula or something lame like that. I want to go as someone queer. Someone queer and cool.”

Ben scrubs his hand over his cheek with a sigh. He takes his glass to the sink then turns to face the other two, steeling himself against Jamie’s disappointment.

“I get it kid, seriously I do. But it’s not exactly appropriate for a sixteen-year-old to be running around the street in vinyl lingerie.”

“But I won’t be running around the streets, I’ll be at the party and I’ll be here. And it’s not like I’m going to wear something that will show all my … junk.”

From the other room comes a muffled whimper. Alex wipes his hands and goes to see what the girls are doing, leaving Ben to resolve the issue by himself. Sighing, Ben yanks open a drawer and hands Jamie a handful of knives and forks.

“It’s not you I’m worried about. I know you’re not going to go around flashing your equipment at everyone. And in five years’ time, if you want to dress up like Frank I won’t stop you.” He thinks about it for a minute. “I probably won’t want to see it, but I won’t stop you. For now, though, you’re sixteen …”

“I’m nearly seventeen.”

“I know and that means you’re old enough to understand about there being a time and a place for things and a high school Halloween party is neither where Frank N. Furter is concerned.”

Jamie offers up a sullen shrug as he puts the glasses on the table. Mutters something about not knowing what to go as now so he may as well stay at home. Ben places his hand on his shoulder and turns him around.

“How about going as a five-year-old? You sound just like Ally.” He grins at Jamie’s scowl. “We’ll think of something.”

♦ ♦ ♦

Ben looks up when Alex comes out of the bathroom, hitching up the well-worn blue pajama pants he’s wearing. Marks his place in his book and places it on the night stand, dropping his glasses on top of it.

“Am I being unfair?”

Alex, rummaging in a drawer for a t-shirt, peers out from under his arm at him.

“About?”

“Jamie’s Halloween costume.”

“Ah.” Alex finds a shirt and pulls it over his head. “He’s only sixteen so no I don’t think so. Would your mom have let you?”

Ben snorts at the idea. Polly would probably have found some merit in the idea but no, he doesn’t think his mother would have allowed it.

“Then stop overthinking it.” Alex climbs into bed and kisses Ben’s cheek. “You’re a good dad.”

With a sigh, Ben turns the lamp off and pulls Alex to him. The solid feel of Alex against his chest is reassuring. It’s been a long day. Court, Lucy’s tantrums, Ally sulking because Ben gave in to at least two of Lucy’s tantrums, Jamie’s disappointment – he doesn’t feel like a good anything tonight.

“Besides,” Alex kisses him again and Ben can feel him smiling, “worrying is my job remember?”

Alex’s hand is warm on Ben’s belly and he covers it with his own. Closes his eyes.

“True.” He shivers when Alex starts drawing slow circles over his skin. “God, I hope Lucy is in a better mood tomorrow.”

“She’s two.” Kisses are bushed over his collar bone. “If we’re lucky, she’ll be in a better mood in about eighteen months.”

Ben slips his hand beneath the t-shirt Alex is wearing and scratches at the skin of his lower back. Feels the weight of the day begin to slip way.

“Well, I vote you tell her she’s not wearing that costume tomorrow.”

Alex presses closer. Nips at Ben’s ear. His fingers inch lower down Ben’s belly. “Do you want to talk about the kids or take my pajamas off?”

Ben pretends to consider for a moment, then with a low growl pushes Alex to his back and covers his mouth with his own. A soft moan escapes him when Alex allows his tongue entry, meeting it with his own and digging his fingers into Ben’s hip.

The soft cotton of Alex’s pajama pants is maddening against Ben’s stiffening cock and he slides a hand between them to yank the damned things down. He pulls away from the kiss and flicks his tongue over Alex’s jaw to his ear. Down the solid column of his neck, stopping to bite at the spot on his collar bone that always make him shiver, finally down to the soft curls of hair on his chest.

Alex trembles and his erection brushes against Ben’s. “Ben.”

Gritting his teeth, Ben grinds his hips down, losing himself in the sensation, and closes his mouth over Alex’s nipple. Tugs at it with his teeth until Alex arches with a desperate whimper. The damp head of his cock rubs against Ben’s again and Ben curls his fingers around the hard shaft. Sweeps his thumb over the damp head, smearing the precum pearling there then drags his hand back down. The sound it wrenches from Alex makes Ben’s cock throb and jerk his hips forward again.

When he feels Alex’s hands on his shoulders, pushing him down, he smiles. Shimmies down the bed leaving a trail of wet kisses on taut, tan skin. Kneeling between Alex’s thighs, he leans down and takes the head of Alex’s cock in his mouth. He digs the tip of his tongue into the slit, lapping at the saltiness.

“Ben…please…”

Ben obliges by bobbing his head, taking him all the way in, swallowing around him. He’s so hard it borders on painful and he reaches down to stroke himself with his free hand, glancing up as he does so. Alex is up on his elbows, looking down at him with glazed eyes. He sucks his bottom lip in between his teeth and buries his fingers in Ben’s short hair, pressing him down as he lifts his hips up. The sight sends a jolt of desire through Ben and he shuts his eyes, fighting the urge to come already.

With a muffled groan he hollows his cheeks and sucks harder as he rubs two fingers down Alex’s sac, over his taint, to press at his hole. Presses in with deliberate slowness. He can feel Alex bear down, relaxing, letting him in as he searches for his prostate.

“Ben!” Alex’s voice is low and wrecked. His hips jerk up, forcing Ben to swallow around him. “Oh God, Ben… going… going to…. Oh, God, yes!”

Salty heat floods Ben’s mouth and throat and he groans as he swallows. He’s desperate to come and knows it will take little to tip him over the edge.

When at last Alex’s hips still and his whimpers fade, Ben eases his fingers from his body and drops onto his back, hand sliding over the skin of his lower belly, no longer daring to touch himself. Beside him, Alex turns on his side and trails his fingers down Ben’s chest to his belly. Runs a fingertip down the diamond hard length of Ben’s cock.

“Baby, don’t tease.”

Alex rewards him with a firm grip and slow, steady strokes. Too slow to trigger his orgasm just yet. Rubs his thumb just beneath the head sending little spikes of pleasure through his body. He’s so close. His fingers grip the sheet beneath him and his breath comes in short, sharp gasps. So close. Alex tightens his grip and strokes him a little harder. A little faster.

“Coming… fuck! Coming.”

His shoulders curl up off the bed as his release splatters over his stomach, every muscle locked tight with the intensity. When he’s able to drop back on the bed, he’s still shaking and unable to move.

“I think you broke me.” He’s pleased when Alex chuckles.

“Idiot.”

“Yeah but you love me.”

“Mmmhmmm.”

♦ ♦ ♦

THURSDAY

Alex hands Ben a bowl of cereal for Lucy and puts a plate of toast in front of Ally before pouring himself another cup of coffee. Next to his cup is a notepad with a growing list of things he needs to do before Saturday’s party. As he adds yet another task – take Bart to the vet for his annual checkup – Jamie stumbles through the door, rubbing his eyes.

“Stupid alarm,” he mumbles as he grabs a bowl.

“They work better if you switch them on.” Alex hands him the cereal box. “I have to call into the school office today, you want a lift?”

Jamie nods, head on his hand, still not fully awake.

“I’m picking up pumpkins this morning. Anyone want to help paint them tonight?” Ben dodges a handful of cereal Lucy flings in his direction and Alex pushes him aside, scolding her as he wipes her hands.

“Yay!” Ally bounces in her seat. “I want to paint a pink one. Can we paint a pink one Papa?”

“Ghosts aren’t pink.” Jamie pours juice in his glass and tops up Ally’s for her. Alex frowns at him, throwing a glance in Ally’s direction. She’s already winding up to protest. Great. Instead of a tantrum from Lucy they’re going to have an argument between Jamie and Ally.

“They can be. Can’t they Daddy? Ghosts can be pink.”

Alex sighs – what he wouldn’t give for a quiet morning.

“They can be any color you like, monster.” He lunges forward and catches Lucy’s sippy cup before it hits the floor and hands it to Ben.  “Hey, Jamie I had an idea for your costume. Why don’t you go as Freddy Mercury?”

If the matching looks of confusion from Jamie and Ben are anything to go by, the idea isn’t as obvious as Alex had thought when he woke this morning.

“It’s not really a costume though, is it?”

“It is if you go as Freddy Mercury in his I Want to Break Free video.” Alex thumbs the screen of his phone to bring up the video in question and hands it to Jamie. As soon as the music starts, Ally jumps up and runs around to peer over his shoulder at the screen.

“He’s wearing a skirt, Daddy.”

“Mmmmhmmmm.”

“But skirts are for girls. Is Jamie going to Halloween as a girl?”

Ben begins to laugh and too late, Alex realizes his mistake. It’s his turn to drop everyone to school and he can now look forward to the trip under a barrage of questions from Ally. How is he going to explain gender fluidity and equality to a five-year-old?

“You wear jeans,” Jamie points out. “And overalls. And you have the same Chucks I have.” This last is the winner. A month ago, when shopping for new sneakers, Ally had insisted on having the same camouflage style Chuck Taylors as Jamie. Upon discovering they only had them in the boy’s section she declared that dumb and wore them to school the next day with her favorite pink dress.

“Oh, okay.” Her gaze is still fixed on the video. “Are you going to wear high heels too? Like Aunt Claire?”

“Uh… oh…” Jamie scrambles to his feet and clears his plate away. “Where would I get all the stuff?”

“I’ll phone Aunt Claire later, I’m sure she can help.” Alex looks at his watch. “Okay, come on, we’re going to be late. Everyone needs to be in the car in twenty minutes.”

♦ ♦ ♦

“I think I just flunked the History test.” Scowling, Jamie flings his book bag in the car and slides into his seat. In the back, Lucy is asleep in her car seat and Ally isn’t far behind.

“And why do you think that?” Alex asks.

“Because I have no clue when or where the first English settlement was when they came here.”

“Put your seatbelt on. Jamestown, Virginia. Around sixteen-oh-seven I think. And you know what Papa is going to say, don’t you?”

Jamie sighs. “Yeah, I know. But I did study, I just couldn’t remember.’

Listening to Jamie complain about how stupid his History class is anyway and humming his commiseration, Alex pulls out into the line of traffic.  They need to stop at the supermarket and pick up diapers and juice and there was one other thing that he just can’t remember right now. Hopefully it’s on his list.

“Dad?”

“Hmmm?”

“I asked if Papa is really okay with me going to Carly’s party in… drag?”

Startled from his thoughts, Alex shoots a sidelong glance at Jamie. He hasn’t really thought of the costume in those terms, but he supposes that is what it is.

“Why wouldn’t he be?” A thought occurs to Alex. He checks the rear-view mirror; both girls are asleep. “Are you okay with it?”

Jamie squirms and taps his fingers on his knee.

“Yeah.” He licks his lips. “I kind of like… dressing up. You know, like a girl.”

So that’s the conversation they’re going to have. Alex tries to assemble his thoughts while Jamie continues.

“I mean I don’t want to be a girl or anything. I’m happy being me but I just... I like their clothes and things and sometimes I like dressing up as one.”

Alex nods. “Okay. That’s okay. And there’s nothing wrong with it if you did. Feel you wanted to be a girl, I mean.” Damn it, this is hard. He’s tempted to ask Jamie to wait until they’re home with Ben, but he suspects that if he does the kid will clam up. “Look as long you’re not doing anything illegal and you’re not hurting anyone, including yourself, there’s nothing wrong with exploring stuff that … interests you.”

His cheeks feel as though they’re on fire and Alex just knows that Ben is going to have a field day when he finds out. Not with Jamie – he’d never make him feel bad about something like this – but he’ll tease Alex without mercy for being uptight.

“I called Aunt Claire and she’s bringing a skirt and sweater she says will be perfect. But if this is something you think,” he searches for what he means, “you want to do regularly, maybe you need some basic things like shoes and a wig. I’m sure we can help you find those.”

Jamie turns to look at him, eyes wide and mouth open.

“What?” Alex asks. He flicks the turn signal to turn into the supermarket.

“Nothing. I just …really? You’d help me get that stuff?”

“Of course. I mean we need to talk it over with Papa and we’d probably need Aunt Claire to help but I don’t see a problem.” Distracted by his search for a carpark, Alex continues without thinking. “And there’s a really good lingerie site that we use for Ben’s…shit!”

Ahead of them a car pulls out of a space and he noses the Volvo forward. When they come to a halt, he rests his forehead on the steering wheel and makes himself take several deep breaths before looking toward the passenger seat. Cheeks scarlet, the teenager has his gaze fixed on something at the far end of the parking lot. “Jamie, I should not have said that. You can’t ever tell Papa –”

“Tell him? Dad, I’m trying to forget I even heard it. Just …. Ewww…”

♦ ♦ ♦

“Who are you and what have you done with my husband?” Ben rests his feet in Alex’s lap. Through the wall they can hear Jamie’s shower starting up. “Look at you, all confident and laid back, talking to our son about cross-dressing like it’s nothing at all.

Alex taps his foot. “Shut up. I just want him to know we have his back. That he doesn’t have to be embarrassed or ashamed. God knows, I don’t want him growing up like me.”

“There are worse people to end up like, baby.” He lets his head drop back against the arm of the sofa. “Do you think this is an experimental stage or something he’s really into?”

“Jamie? Guess, we’ll have to wait and see.”

“You think that’s all he’s experimenting with?”

“Oh, God Ben what would I know? I lived under a rock until I met you, remember? What were you doing at his age?”

Ben waggles his eyebrows to show yes to both questions, but the grin fades to a frown. When he was Jamie’s age he had messed around far more than he’s ever admitted to anyone, although he always thought Polly suspected. He realizes now though how lucky he was. With a somewhat well-known mother and grandmother, he was smart and good looking. He’d been popular at school. Aside from the one fight when he first came out, people in San Capistrano had let him live his life without too much interference. He’s not sure Jamie would get that same acceptance, especially not in the current divided social climate. All it would take, would be one asshole to decide he and Leo are walking too close and … he shudders at the thought.

“Hey,” Alex clicks his fingers in front of his face, “where’d you go?”

Ben shakes his head and sips his drink. The shower turns off and Jamie emerges a few minutes later in sweat pants and a hoodie and drops onto a bean bag. “Homework finished?” Ben asks.

“Yep.”

“Even History?”

“Yes, even History.”

Ben fishes under the cushion and holds out Jamie’s phone.

“You can have this back then.” When he leans forward to snag it, Ben wraps his fingers around Jamie’s wrist. “You’re a smart kid, you know this stuff. More study, less sexting.”

“Papa!”

“Ben!”

♦ ♦ ♦

FRIDAY

Alex pushes the gate open and lets Lucy run through ahead of him. A pale blue ribbon trails behind her, finally free of her pigtail. Spotting the open door to Ben’s office, she squeals and makes a beeline for it, followed by Ally dragging her bookbag by one strap. When Bart bounds over, Alex scratches his ears before making his way into the office.

Fiona is in the doorway to Ben’s office and greets Alex with a smile. Behind her the girls are squabbling over Ben’s lap. Alex hugs her before crossing the room to them. He bends to kiss Ben only to be stopped by Lucy placing both pudgy hands on his stomach and pushing him away.

“No, Daddy. No smoochies. My Papa.”

Alex raises an eyebrow. That’s a new one. He tries again and this time a sticky palm smacks his cheek.

“No Daddy! Lulu’s Papa!”

This time Ben traps her hands and frowns at her. “Lucy, no! We don’t hit Daddy.”

“My Papa. Not Daddy’s Papa.”

“He’s my Papa too,” Ally protests. “And Jamie’s.”

This does not impress Lucy at all. She launches herself at her sister shrieking and scratching. Alex hooks his hands under Ally’s armpits and lifts her out of the way while Ben tries to grab Lucy’s flailing hands. He tells Ally to go and see Fiona and turns back to take Lucy when Ben lets out a pain filled cry. When Alex looks down, Lucy has sunk her teeth into Ben’s thumb.

“Lucy!”

Ben frees himself and shakes his hand with a grimace. Alex takes Lucy, holding her back to his chest and keeping his digits as far from her mouth as he can. He’s been bitten enough times by patients to know how to avoid it where possible and isn’t taking any chances.

As he turns away, his phone tucked in his pocket, rings. Unless whoever it is can immediately silence a screaming toddler, they can damned well wait.  With his free hand he tries to grasp Lucy’s feet before one of the kicks lands somewhere he’s going to regret. In his arms she bucks and squirms, screaming for Papa.

“Lucy for God’s sake knock it off. Mrs Marsh will think we’re trying to kill you.”

On the desk, Ben’s phone begins to vibrate then to ring. Still shaking his injured thumb, Ben picks it up and Alex turns away.

“It’s Matt.”

Startled, Alex turns around. Matt? He fishes his phone out of his pocket and checks the screen. One missed call from … Matt. What the hell?

“Hey Matt, how are you?”

Mercifully Lucy’s screams have given way to angry sobs and when Fiona holds her arms out, Alex lets her take the crying infant. He steps toward Ben, straining to hear what his brother might be saying.

“Yeah, he’s here. We were just having a bit of an issue with the resident banshee. Do you want to talk to him?” There’s a pause while he listens to Matt, then Ben sinks into his chair, face pale.

“You’re shitting me?”

Even Ally, normally quick to reprimand her Papa’s expletives seems struck silent by his tone.

“What’s going on?” Alex holds his hand out for the phone. “Ben?”

“Okay Matt, yeah I’ll do that now and then we’ll call you back. Thanks.”

Alex watches him hang up, Lucy’s tantrum all but forgotten.

“Ben? What’s going on?”

Ben looks up at him and blinks.

“Your mother was attacked this afternoon by a gang of inmates.”

Alex swallows.

“And?”

“Alex, she’s dead.”

A high-pitched buzzing fills Alex’s head. The sound of a million bees he thinks randomly. His mother is dead. Killed by inmates in prison. The prison she was in because of what she did to him. His mother is … the room swims and in front of him Ben doubles, triples ….

“Oh boy. Let’s sit you down.”

Ben’s hands are firm. Real. Warm. Alex let’s himself be pressed into Ben’s chair. Hears Ben’s voice from a distance saying something to Fiona. Ally calls for him in a tremulous voice and he tries to stand, only to be pushed back down.

“Nope. You’re staying right there until Fiona has the girls settled and I’m sure you can make it over to the house.”

He blinks, trying to make sense of Ben’s words. Tries to focus on Ben’s face. Crinkles form around the green eyes he loves so much, and a gentle smile reassures him.

“She’s dead?”

Ben nods.

“Yeah, baby. She’s dead.”

Alex rubs his forehead with trembling fingers.

“My mother is dead?”

Ben’s smile slips and is replaced by a concerned frown.

“Yes. Matt said a group of inmates cornered her in the library and beat her up. She died before they could get her to the infirmary. There’ll be an investigation.”

Alex turns the words over in his head. His mother, jailed for kidnapping his daughters and beating Ally, after years of abusing him, has been beaten to death. His stomach clenches and he shuts his eyes against the wave of nausea.

“Baby?”

“Going to be sick.”

Ben dives for the trash can and dumps the discarded papers on the floor before holding it out. Alex groans and shudders as his stomach heaves and twists, emptying itself into the container. Cold sweat inches down his back, sticking his shirt to his skin, as he slumps back in the leather chair that was Allie’s and is now Ben’s. He drags the back of his hand over his mouth. Takes a deep breath and looks at Ben, unaware of the tears on his face.

“My mother is dead?”

♦ ♦ ♦

Ben hangs up the phone and goes back to the living room. Alex is still in the same spot on the sofa with Lucy on his lap and Ally curled up under his arm, her head resting against her sister’s. On the television screen, Lilo tells her sister that she can tell Stitch is a good dog. Lucy offers him a sleepy smile, a perfect echo of Alex’s, and Ben shakes his head in disbelief that less than half an hour ago she was attacking everyone in sight. He strokes Ally’s hair as he passes, and she grabs his hand. When she lets go, she snuggles harder in against Alex seeming to know he needs the touch.

Alex watches the screen, but Ben doesn’t think he’s taking it in. The worst of the shock seems to be wearing off leaving behind they gray pallor and listless regard that Ben remembers from that awful time when the truth had finally come out. When he’d learned just what a monster his mother-in-law was. It’s fitting that she should die at Halloween.

Despite Ben’s reassurances, Jamie and Leo are coming home instead of hanging out with friends after school and Matt and Claire are already on their way down from the city. Once the girls are in bed they’ll need to talk, and that’s one conversation Ben is not looking forward to. He knows Alex. Knows that somehow, he will have found something to feel guilty about. Either the woman’s death or that he’s relieved that she is. Because it was relief Ben saw in his eyes back in the office. Ben doesn’t blame him one bit, not knowing how she’d beaten him, humiliated him, and tried to break him his entire life. Despite what Alex says, Ben is certain nobody, not even Matt knows the worst of it, but they know most of it and Alex has been doing so well over the past eighteen months that Ben’s not prepared to push it. If Alex is feeling relief or even some measure of pleasure that his mother is dead, Ben won’t begrudge him it.

He sits down next to them and takes Alex’s hand. Winds their fingers together. “I phoned Ellen. She’s going to call in tomorrow morning.”

The resistance he expects doesn’t come; Alex simply says “okay”.

“Daddy?” Ally sits up and edges her way onto Alex’s lap. To Ben’s surprise, Lucy just scoots over, giving her space.

“Yeah, monster?” Alex’s voice is low and subdued but to Ben’s relief mostly normal sounding.

“Daddy is the grandma lady… is your mommy dead?” Her voice cracks and a tear slips down the side of her nose.

The words seem to stir Alex. He nudges Lucy toward Ben and gathers Ally against his chest.

“Yes, baby girl, she’s dead. She can’t ever hurt you or your sister again.”

Ben closes his eyes and hopes that if there really is a God, He’ll understand when Ben prays the old bitch didn’t go too quickly.

“Or you Daddy.”

“Hmmm?”

“She can’t hurt you anymore now.”

Alex rests his cheek on Ally’s head and looks at Ben, chocolate brown eyes filled with tears.

“No Ally, she can’t hurt anyone ever again.” He sniffs, and Ben sees him tighten his hold on her.

The front door swings open and Jamie bursts in, red faced and panting, Leo right behind him. They must have run from the bus stop at the end of the street and Ben is filled with the urge to hug the kid just for that.

“Dad!” Jamie drops to his knees in front of the sofa.

“It’s going to be okay,” Alex whispers as he strokes the teen’s hair.

Ben isn’t sure if he’s talking to Jamie or himself.

♦ ♦ ♦

“The girls are asleep.” Claire rubs Alex’s shoulders as she passes behind his chair.

The firepit is lit and Bart is stretched out in front of it, paws scrabbling as he chases something in his dreams. Jamie and Leo are huddled together under Polly’s patchwork blanket on the recliner opposite Alex and Ben’s. Matt pats his knee and Claire sits down with a smile.

“Thanks.”

Next to him, Ben shifts and stretches, puts his arm around his shoulders.

“Nice move Casanova.” Matt tips his beer bottle in Ben’s direction, then looks at Jamie and Leo. “See guys that’s how it’s done.”

“Hey, don’t go giving them ideas,” Ben scolds.

Alex listens to the banter for the next few minutes, unaware he’s rubbing the edge of his watchstrap until Ben’s fingers close around his.

“Baby, stop.”

He looks down. This watch is new. Ben gave it to him for his birthday. The strap is a lighter blue than his old one and the face is silver. The old one, the one Ben gave him to replace his cuff when he learned what Alex had done, is in his bedside drawer upstairs. He hasn’t scratched at his wrist in a long time. Sighing he pulls his fingers free of Ben’s grasp and drops his hand on Ben’s thigh, searching for the hem of his t-shirt.

“I know she was your mom, but I think she was a bitch.” The defiance in Jamie’s words is matched in his eyes.

“You’re right. She was a bitch.” Alex ignores Matt’s surprised look. “But she was still our mother and I wouldn’t wish what happened to her on anyone.”

Ben mutters something Alex doesn’t hear and when he turns to ask him to repeat it just shakes his head. He turns back toward Matt. “So, what happens now?”

“The prison will release her body next week. She has a plot at the cemetery near the house and her insurance will cover the expenses. I’ve notified the undertaker and the insurance company.”

That all sounds very … civilized. Alex rubs his eyes and tries to think past the haze that fills his thoughts.

“There’ll be a will reading in a few weeks, once the inquiry at the prison and everything is finalized.”

Shock sends a ripple of nausea through Alex and he shudders. “Will reading?”

“Apparently, everything is tied up in trusts and things and goes to Dad – for all the good it will do him.”

“I’m picking that’s a meeting I don’t need to bother attending. Has anyone told Dad?’

“Yeah. The guy who called me asked if I wanted to tell him myself and I told him to shove it up his ass.”

“Matt!” Alex gives an exasperated sigh. “Are you going to the funeral?”

“Piss off!” Matt sounds horrified. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking of going?”

Cold laughter bubbles up before Alex can stop it.

“No. I think I’m quite fucked up enough without going to her funeral.”

Both Jamie and Ben flinch at his words and he wishes he could take them back. It’s just that he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say.  He knows they all think he feels guilty about his mother, but the truth is he doesn’t. Not after what she did to the girls. No, it’s not guilt that’s bothering him.

“Are you going to cancel the party?” Claire tops up the wine glasses and pushes the box containing chocolate cake in Jamie and Leo’s direction. He drags his thoughts from his mother with some effort and frowns.

“I don’t know. Ben?”

“It’s up to you babe. We can call it off and just do something here as a family. People will understand.”

Alex supposes the decision can wait until tomorrow morning. It’s not like they can start phoning people right now anyway. He stands up.

“I’m going to take Bart for a walk.” He looks at Claire and Matt. “You headed over to the hotel or will you still be here when I get back?”

“We’ll be here brat. Go walk your dog.”

Alex clicks his fingers at Bart, trailing the fingers of his other hand over Jamie’s head as he goes past.

“Dad?” Jamie sounds young and frightened. It occurs to Alex he probably is; Alex’s breakdown was before Jamie came into their lives, but he’s heard about it. He squeezes his shoulder to reassure him.

“I won’t be long. Bart just needs to pee.”

As he steps onto the path leading down to the beach, he feels warm skin against the palm of his hand. Ben smiles at him and links their fingers together.

♦ ♦ ♦

RELEASE

The night is clear and crisp, heralding another beautiful day tomorrow. Bart pads along the edge of the water, his paws making a soft plock -plock sound on the sand. It’s soothing and familiar and little by little Alex lets himself relax. After they’ve walked for a few minutes, he turns and walks up to where the sand is dry and sits down, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Alex?” Ben drops down beside him, sand shifting and settling beneath him.

“I…” Words refuse to come, and he scoops up a handful of sand. Lets it run from one palm to the other as he looks out over the water. The sea is dark and peaceful. It seems to stretch forever. For a brief minute Alex can imagine it filled with the lives of those they’ve lost. Allie. Polly. Then his mother’s face fills his head. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to block the image out. He won’t let her pollute this place, not even in the corners of his imagination. Not here, on this stretch of beach, where he and Ben have argued and kissed and laughed and cried. Not here where they’ve played with their children and thrown tennis balls for their dog. Not here where he’s been happier than he’s ever been. Where he’s tried so hard not to be scared. He won’t let her haunt this place. Not this place. “I was so scared of her. All my life, I was so afraid that I would say or do something wrong.” Ben’s hand rubs circles on his back. “But she was still my mother and I still wanted her to love me. When I was a little boy I kept thinking that if I could just figure out what to do or how to be she wouldn’t hate me. That she might actually love me. But she never did. She just hated me whatever I did and I never stopped being scared and now … now…”

He takes a shaky breath, overwhelmed with the sensation that he’s standing on the edge of a cliff. That all he needs to do is take one step and everything will change.

“Why didn’t she love me, Ben?”

“I don’t know.” Ben tucks a strand of his hair behind Alex’s ear. Strokes his thumb over his cheek. “But that was about her baby, not about you. Nothing was ever wrong with you. I don’t understand how she couldn’t love you. My mom adored you and so did Polly. Hell, I think they liked you better than me some days.”

Something in Alex’s chest starts to loosen. He leans against Ben. Maybe if he just leans against him he’ll soak in his strength.

“Your brother and Claire love you. Ally and Lucy adore you. Lucy has never once bitten you has she? She bites me daily. Jamie worships you.” Ben combs his fingers through Alex’s hair and he presses into the touch.

“And you?” Alex knows he’s fishing but he needs to hear it.

“Me? I was a lost cause the first time you flashed those dimples at me, baby. I couldn’t love you more if I tried, Alex.”

The thing loosens a little more and he swipes away the first of the tears.

“Even if I’m glad she’s dead?” Alex bites his lip. “Does that make me a terrible person?” He’s surprised when Ben grins.

“You’d have to check with Ellen, but I think that makes you a normal person.”

“Ben is it really over?”

Ben winds his arm around Alex’s shoulder and pulls him against him. “Yeah, baby it’s really over.  You don’t have to be scared anymore, I promise. She’s gone.”

The huge knot of fear and pain finally breaks and Alex buries his face against Ben’s neck, sobbing.

Just as he has been since they first met, Ben is waiting, arms ready to wrap around him. Ready to hold him while he lets everything slip away.

FIN

♦ ♦ ♦

Thanks

As always, a huge debt of thanks is owed to the amazing May Dawney for working her cover magic. Also to Jessica, JJ, and Brooke who - when I wasn’t sure if the story worked - read snippets and told me to keep going.

Thank you especially to those of you who love Alex and Ben so much you refused to let me shut the door on them. I hope this story brings you some of the closure it brings Alex and that you’re ready for new adventures with this little family in Safe Haven.

ARJ October 2018

##

Get The San Capistrano Series for Kindle now. Free to read in Kindle Unlimited.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07D9RMGSN

COMING IN DECEMBER 2018:

Safe Haven

(Book 6

in

The San Capistrano Series)