Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Hold me close

Dedication

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Other Happy Endings Resort Authors

HOLD ME CLOSE

Author Alisha Cole

© Copyright 2016 Alisha Cole All rights reserved.

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Cover design by Kari March of Kari March Designs.

Edited by Krihstin Zink of Heliotrope Editing

Formatted by Ken Preston.

“Hold me close . . . don’t let me slip away. Make sure I’m all right, and kiss the pain away. With your arms around me, I know I’ll be okay—and I will never have to worry another day.”

Alisha Cole

Dedication

To

Krihstin Zink

&

Annie Boylan

Prologue

No one tells you about the ugly side of love. They never explain how much it can scar and strip away pieces of yourself. Romance books and movies, even fairy tales try to make you believe that love is deep and kind. I’ve been in love. Our relationship started out perfect, but don’t they all? People grow apart, whether from the way we evolve or the routines we develop—it happens. He hurt me . . . and I hurt him. We’re even right? No. Once you’re hurt, you’re scarred for life. We loved too deep, but when things fell off track . . . we struggled to get it back.

Our love changed after one night of too much drinking and a slutty ex-girlfriend. Jesse and I have been together since we were twelve, and we’ve survived it all—until now. High school and summers a part were easy for us, but college is where our love started to crack: we didn’t get to share a dorm. He seemed okay with it, though, which started my insecurities about us. Endless parties and late night benders caused awful fights to form between us, which became an awful habit. When he had other girlfriends or had one-night stands, I simply got him back by sleeping around. Our love hate relationship had us off-and-on like a faulty light switch, and yet, we remained best friends.

Love hurts . . . sometimes, but like my daddy always said, “Men take longer to appreciate what they have because they don’t know what they have until they lose it.”

Daddy was right: Jesse always came back. It didn’t matter if he had a girlfriend at the time, or some random slut for one night—when I needed him, he had always dropped everything to be there for me. But once college started, his kindness began to disappear. When I needed him the most, we’d fight and then I’d be left alone. He started drinking more and caring less. Jesse grew confident; he didn’t need me anymore. His looks gripped my attention, and other women could barely keep their hands off him. I spent many nights—alone—crying in my dorm room. I didn’t know how to be my own person. It was always, Lyly and Jesse this or Jesse and his girl. I hadn’t made a life or friends of my own. I became a loner because he was my only friend.

Chapter One

The Fight

Lyly

“Jesse and Lyly are here—the party has begun!” Some frat boy screams from the card table that’s at the center of the living room. I follow Jesse through clouds of smoke, drunk-giggling girls, and loud-as-fuck boys. Why am I here? I roll my eyes as Jesse stops and fills a solo cup with whatever is in the blue punch bowl. I cover my mouth, fighting the urge to vomit as I shift away from the hipsters who have a month’s worth of grease, shining from their hair and skin. Jesse smiles when he hands me the blue poison; and I nod with a half-smile, taking it from his hand. I lift the drink to my lips, but the level of alcohol burns at my eyes and nose—I couldn’t even take a sip. I’m definitely not drinking anything blue—for the rest of my life. “You okay, Ly?” he questions, placing his hand on the small of my back. No—I’m not okay! Strangers surround us, and it reeks of dope and sex. This is not the Friday night I want, and yet, all the partying is becoming a regular thing for us.

Shielding my distaste of being here, I slap on my instant smile and say, “I’m fine.” If I tell him how I really feel, our fun night will end. Then I’d be forced to spend my night alone, crying in my dorm. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like parties. It’s the constant partying, fighting, and people doing dumb shit every weekend. I have had to pull drunken girls off Jesse. I’ve sat in a bathroom—for twelve hours straight—holding back a girl’s hair, just because they’re Jesse’s friends’ girlfriend. A few times, I’ve flipped my crazy switch, which coined us the life of all parties. Our crowd named us the life of the party because we became their entertainment. Whether from my trashed fights with Jesse or some random girl—we always brought the drama. Tonight is just starting, and I know something bad will happen—it always does.

“I’ll be right back, Ly. Tommy needs me really quick,” Jesse insists, leaving me—in the suffocating kitchen—to fend for myself. The hipster in the corner, next to the fridge, gives me wiggly eyebrows, but I answer by flipping him the bird. I push off the counter and venture through the house. The living room is full of sweaty bodies, grinding on each other to an R&B track. It becomes almost impossible to squeeze through them. When I’m free from the snug crowd, I bump into a couple closest to the stairs. Their musty odor breezes past me, which causes me to hold my breath. Climbing the stairs, I exhale as dramatic moans replace the fading music. Great I walked smack dead into an orgy. I race past the open doors and try to avoid the couples as I search for the bathroom. When I reach the door, I quickly twist the knob open and slam it shut and then lock it behind me.

I hear a guy’s gravelly voice fill the room. “Can I help you?” When I turn to face the unknown voice, his presence startles me as I clench the door. “Yeah, how about you get the hell out of the bathroom! Gah—who sits alone with the damn lights off?” I scream at him. “Someone who’s sick of this party. This room is the only place I’m not being rubbed against by people fucking,” he snaps. We’re in the dark and it’s weirding me out. I flip the lights on, but I instantly regret it.

Dark blue jeans fit snug on his legs that hang over the side of the alabaster bathtub. His black leather jacket and barely visible sheer T-shirt are bound to hide a nice build, as I can see the fabric gripping on for dear life. What makes it worse is his alluring face: soft features that lack facial hair hold a strong nose that barely hangs over his full lips. My gaze drifts to his gunmetal-blue eyes that hypnotize and lure me with a million different possibilities. Sex. Lover. Player. Hurt. But so . . . oh, my god—I can’t explain it. Jesse who? I stand there, drooling like an idiot, knowing it’s a possibility he’s Jesse’s friend. “Again, can I help you?” he offers. His grin could knock out any woman who’s within ten feet. But why haven’t I fallen?

The door behind me is the only thing keeping me upright, and still my knees are wobbling beneath me. When what he says registers, my pissy side sounds off. “Actually you can . . . you can get out. I have a boyfriend—don’t come near me.” I stutter out. Great now I’m stuttering and lacking any sense. “Wasn’t planning on it, Lyly. I just thought messing with you would be fun. Would you like to hang out here . . . by yourself? I can go.” He knows my name? Unsure, I ask, “Have we met before?” His smile gets bigger and he leans forward a little until he sits with ease on the side of the tub. “Everyone knows, Lyly and Jesse: the life of the party,” he remarks with a little more enthusiasm than necessary. Or maybe that’s just my girl boner talking—who knows. All I know is that I want to stay here, just a little while longer. It’s not cheating to devour a stranger with my eyes, or even talk to one, right? Okay maybe it’s a bad idea.

“Oh, I never thought of that. I guess you can stay and hide out, but if Jesse finds you . . . I hope you’re ready for a stupid fight—over nothing,” I quip, giving him a serious look. “On that note, I’m out; nice to officially meet you, Lyly.” He stands and stalks towards the bathroom door, and my heart races as I clench at the doorknob. My mind says move, but my body says hello and refuses to budge. He leans in and whispers into my ear. “Excuse me, sweetheart. I don’t want to get in trouble.” My head screams move, and my jelly legs finally slide over to give the man room to leave. Just as the door closes, he gives me a cocky wink. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I spit out loud, banging my head against the door. I love Jesse, I do. It’s just, sometimes I need to get away from us—and my body will want other things. It’s so confusing. I’ve been with Jesse forever because I truly love him. But lately, we’ve felt off. I feel it, and I know he does too.

An hour later, and the hideous tile design, which wraps around the room, has me seeing double. Jesse still hasn’t come to find me. I’m anxious and jealous because I know he’s with someone else. I hear a faint knock, so I lift off the tile and cautiously walk towards the door. I open it slightly to see who it is. Leaning next to the wall, with his tongue down his ex-girlfriend’s throat is Jesse. Envy sets in, and I’m fuming with rage. “Jesse! You left me alone for a fucking hour to be with that!” I shout, pushing him off her. He spins around, and shock widens his eyes and mouth. “It’s not what it looks like, Lyly!” he pleads.

I don’t even want to fight; I’m just too hurt. Tears stream from my eyes as I take off down the hallway, and I run past drunks, who don’t even notice me slip by. As he chases me, I don’t hear a word he yells. I lose him long enough to sneak out the back door. I turn to look behind me and lose him in the chaotic crowd that fills the house. When I turn back around, I slam into something hard. “Woah, you okay?” a familiar voice interrogates. I ran straight into the arms of my bathroom buddy. Figures. I disregard his concern, darting from his grip and toward the road. He follows me until I am half way down, but then he turns around. I go from top speed to a stop at the street light that leads off campus.

As I wait for the light to change, my charge of energy slowly dies out and I’m left empty. He cheated on me again—with his ex-girlfriend. What does he mean, it’s not what it looks like? I mean what-the-fuck else could it look like? He had his tongue down her throat and her arms above her head in the throes of passion. The vision of it makes my eyes swell and more tears spill out. I wipe them away with the back of my hand as I see the countdown on the light pole start at thirty. Good, I can cross soon. Headlights reflect off the windows of the building across the street. I shield my eyes as I turn around to see a dark, lifted truck. Not him again. “Get in.” My bathroom buddy demands. I ignore him because I don’t take orders from bossy strangers. “I said get in, Lyly. If you don’t, then he will be here in a minute—he was right behind me.” I anxiously spin towards the school to see if Jesse is in sight. He’s not—thank god. But he’s right: if I don’t get in, I’ll listen to whatever lying sob story Jesse plans to dish up. Then we’ll end up returning to the party. Without a second thought, just as the light turns green—I climb into his truck.

“What happened?” he demands, taking his eyes off the road to look at me. He may be cute as hell, but he sure is demanding. Not in a mean way, but a manly you’re-going-to-talk way. I just want to be left alone to cry. Being questioned by a sexy stranger, who I just jumped into the car with, isn’t what I had planned. “I don’t really want to talk about it. I mean . . . not with you.” I look out the window and watch the cars pass by. “Well, I know you’re fighting with the jock, but what did he do so bad to have you in tears and running from the house? Do you want me to kick his ass?” He raises his eyebrows. “Can you just stop talking and drive me anywhere . . . or home?” He listens to my request, and we continue our drive in silence. Out of the corner of my eye, in the most delicious way, a dimple forms and catches my attention. He just has to have dimples doesn’t he?

He pulls the truck up near an apartment building, and the worry must show on my face—because he reassures me by putting his hand on my knee and says, “I promise it’s just my apartment. Have faith, girl, I’m not a murderer or anything. I just wanted to grab a jacket for you before we go have a coffee. You okay with that?” Just coffee, Lyly . . . breathe. Laughing to myself, I nod my head like a little school girl with a crush. He snickers as he makes his way up to the building. It dawns on me that I know him as my bathroom buddy, but I don’t know his real name. I can’t help but roar in laughter to the point of snorting.

“What’s so funny?” He asks, climbing back into the truck. “Well, honestly . . . this sounds stupid but, I don’t know your name.” I leave out the bathroom buddy part because he’d probably think I’m crazy. “My name is Ethan, and your name is Lyly. Now that we got that out of the way, put this on.” He hands me a leather jacket that’s almost the same as his. I pull my arms through it, and I feel as if I might pass out from the heavenly smell.

His fresh out of the shower scent consumes my senses. I hope he didn’t see me inhale, which would be embarrassing. I shiver and quickly pull his spare jacket on and then zip it up as my arm’s goosebumps slowly disappear. “Do you go to all those parties often?” I ask, genuinely curious. “You’re allowed to question me, but I can’t get any answers from you? Nope, not until you answer my questions first,” he recites, keeping his eyes on the road. Feeling overbearing I scoff, hoping he’ll leave it alone. “You only asked one question, and my answer is—we got into a fight, that’s it.”

“Actually if I recall I asked two. One being what happened beyond the fight, what caused it? Two, do you want me to kick his ass? You can put up your wall, Lyly. But remember: it just makes me want to tear it down. I’m quite the rebel.” His smartass comment makes me laugh, but I don’t mean for my giggle to be heard.

“You’re really good, so good in fact I feel like I should give you the challenge,” I reply, with as much wit as him. “I never turn down a challenge, so hit me with your best shot.” he chuckles as we pull into a small Mom & Pop diner.

Chapter Two

Falling

Ethan

This girl is something else. I’ve seen her at the parties with her dumb-jock boyfriend. I’ve watched them fight, laugh and kiss—but mostly fight. A chance to see her is the only reason I continue to follow my cousin to the local parties. She’s beautiful. Her laugh alone can make me laugh; and she brings light around everywhere she goes. I’ve wanted to help her every time I saw her cry, but she always left with her boyfriend. Tonight I’ll have a chance to get to know her, and stop being invisible to her.

Once we arrive at the diner, I get out and walk around to help her. I offer her my hand, but for a moment, she hesitates to take it. It looks like no one has ever opened the door for her. I smile as she grins and puts her hand in mine. For some reason, as we walk into the diner, the stupid song Mr. Steal Your Girl by Trey Songz cycles in my mind; and it becomes a challenge to suppress a chuckle.

We take our seats, at a small booth in the back. Lyly sits across from me with a shy smile, and I wonder what she’s thinking about. I go to ask her, but notice the waitress coming. A dainty blonde flaunts her way over, making sure to push her chest out as she leans over to take our order. Since Lyly is closely watching me, I beg my eyes to focus on her. Don’t let me down, guys. My eyes glue to Lyly’s face as I ignore the woman’s chest. “Two coffees with extra cream and sugar, please.” I wink at Lyly to make sure that’s okay, and she smiles as the waitress frowns and leaves the table. “Wow . . . that must have been really hard for you. I was even tempted to stare at them—I mean they were all over the table,” she laughs. Well, that’s a nice icebreaker. I knew I could be comfortable around her. I watch her cheeks turn a soft pink as she realizes she too is comfortable with me. She pushes her long brunette hair over her shoulder and then puts her hands under her chin as she leans forward. “Good guess on the coffee, either that or you’ve been stalking me,” she accuses, hiding her smile with her bottom lip. “I would never stalk you, you seem like a tiny ninja that could possibly kick my ass. I’m just a great people reader.” I shrug and flash my dimples to make her blush even deeper.

Trisha’s nametag bounces as she struts in our direction. “Two coffees, just like you wanted.” She leans in as she places the cups on my side of the table. I continue to stare and grin at Lyly. “Can I get you anything else?” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Trisha pucker up her lips. Lyly’s electric-blue eyes grow wide as her glossy lips seal tight; she continuously blinks, and I know she wants to laugh. “No, thanks.” I shake my head until Trisha huffs and stomps away.

Lyly grins as her eyes sparkle with happiness. “I’m glad I can get you to smile,” I say as I watch her smirk completely fall. Why did I say that out loud? “Do you want to talk about it . . . yet? I’m not good at advice, but I am a damn good listener,” I probe, watching her lean forward a little more with each word I say. “Ethan, I know you mean well, but honestly . . . I don’t even want to think about it,” she objects, looking down at her hands.

“Okay, well, let’s get to know each other then. I am Ethan, I turn twenty-two in three months, and this is my last year at Eastdale University. Even though I have a passion for painting, I’m studying to be an architect. I’m also good with the ladies.” I give her an arrogant wink. She grins as she takes a sip of her coffee; she’s probably overthinking my bio. “Okay, what the hell—I’m Lyly, I’m twenty-one, and this is also my last year at Eastdale. I’m studying to become a registered nurse, but I enjoy taking pictures of important memories. Also, I’ve been with Jesse since we were twelve . . . he’s been my first everything,” she says the last part with despair. Wow, I thought maybe she only dated him in high school. I never—in a million years—would have thought that she had been with him . . . practically her whole life. All hopes of persuading her to date me—are gone. “Did I scare you off?” she guesses. “Not so much as scare me off, but I do feel like any chances of stealing you from him are extinct,” I tell her the truth, maybe just a little too bluntly. “Okay,” she coughs and rubs her fingers across her face. “Are you ready?” Her electric-blue eyes and soft voice pull me in closer. I didn’t see that coming. “Ready when you are, sweetheart.”

“Well . . . it’s pretty obvious that we fight, especially if we’re the life of the party. Anyway, ever since we started college—he’s changed. He drinks more, he even flirts with women in front of me, and has cheated prior to tonight. Which has led to fights, and then us breaking up and getting back together. Earlier, after you left me in the bathroom, I heard a knock on the door . . . I went to see who was there . . . I opened the door and found Jesse—with his tongue down his ex’s throat. Not to mention, she only dated him for a week!” she sneers, lifting further out of her seat. “Calm down, sweet girl. He doesn’t deserve you. No woman should ever have to deal with that shit.” I reach across the table and place my hand on hers. “No one will ever understand,” she complains. “Understand what? Make me understand.”

She rolls her eyes and sighs. “I have been with him my whole life. He was my first kiss; my first boyfriend and first love. That’s nine years of my life, Ethan. He’s all I know. Until college, he was my everything—my best friend and lover. It hurts to know what we had is slowly disappearing,” she confesses, holding back tears. “I can imagine the hurt you feel.” I pause and stare into her eyes. “But . . . I’m an honest guy, so before you jump at my throat—I have to tell you how I feel. I’m not gonna lie . . . you’re fucking gorgeous, but—if you want—I’d like to be here for you.” I gently squeeze her small hand. But now, she knows I have a crush; and she’s nervously looking around. “If he still loves you, he wouldn’t think about another woman—let alone touch one. Lyly, people change; they grow up and they grow apart. I think he loves you, but if he’s doing all these hurtful things—he’s not in love anymore,” I urge her to listen, but hope she doesn’t get upset. “You’re probably right. I mean, why else would I jump into a car with a hot stranger? Then, proceed to pour my feelings out . . . to you. Oh, my god—I’m a mess. I’m so sorry; I should go,” she apologizes, lifting up and removing my jacket.

“No, it’s all right, Lyly—please don’t leave,” I beg, putting my hand on her arm to stop her. But that’s when it hits, and her tears finally break through her weak barrier. I gently put the jacket back over her shoulders, throw a ten on the table, and then walk her to my truck. She’s quiet as I open the door and lift her into the passenger side. As I shut the door, I give her a half-smile and then walk around and climb into my truck. She covers her face as she weeps and huddles against the door. “Don’t cry, beautiful; it will be okay—I’m here.” I let her bawl into my chest, and gently run my fingers through her hair. I fight an urge to lean in and sniff her luring aroma. Stay cool, Ethan. “Will you take me home?” she sniffles, lifting her head up. Her eyes are swollen, nose is steadily running, and she looks miserable. “Sure, I can.”

We’re silent as we drive toward Eastdale. “Why don’t you live on campus?” she asks, breaking the awkward silence. “I don’t do the college scene, not my thing,” I say, stopping at the light that leads into the school’s entrance. When we park the truck, we notice that the party is still in full swing. “Great, do these things ever end?” she asks herself out loud. “Follow me, I will show you where my dorm is.” We step out of my truck, and I stay right behind her until we reach room 418. “This is me. Thank you, Ethan—for everything.” She kisses my cheek. “Can I see you again?” I insist with hopes that I’m not just some random guy who she pours her heart out to. “I’d like that, give me your phone.” I hand her my phone; she adds her number and then hands it back. She reaches for her back pocket and then hands me her phone. “Now put yours in mine,” she commands, with the cutest smile I’ve ever seen. Seconds later, I hand her phone back. Her smile leaves me in a daze as she nods and shuts the door. I swagger strut with a confident grin as I leave the building. Once I’m at my truck, I climb in and start the engine. Just as I go to put it into gear—my phone dings with a message, and I pull it out to see who it is.

Bathroom Buddy: Goodnight :)

This girl will be the death of me.

Me: You are too cute. Goodnight, Bathroom Buddy.

I park at my apartment complex, climb out and lock my truck before I march straight to my bedroom. Once I strip down to my boxers, I stretch out across my bed. Thoughts of her prey in my mind. She’s the perfect combo of sexy, sweet, and she’s even a smartass. We could fit so great together. Although her eyes are set on me, the problem is . . . her mind and heart still want him. I really know how to pick them. Shit, they kind of fall into my lap. I toss and turn for hours before I finally find the sleep that I desperately need.

*

I love test days—said no one ever. I knew the weekend would fly by fast, it always does. I roll myself out of bed to change. I’m already running late, so there’s no time to shower. I pull open a nearby dresser drawer and yank out the first shirt that I see. After I toss it on, and shrug into a pair of jeans. I have a feeling that this week will be long. I’m going away for the weekend. In the past, the week before weekend trips usually drags ass. I reach for my books and pile them into my backpack, sling it on my shoulder and then I’m out the door. Once I’m at my truck, I climb in but halt as I take in Lyly’s scent. It fills the air around me as her image dances through my head.

I wish I had the balls to steal her away, but that’s a losing battle. She’s not gonna leave Jesse, they have too much history for her to just write him off. I get like this with a lot of girls, and they always hurt me—the hopeless romantic. Ever meet a guy that’s everything you’ve always dreamed about? I’m that guy. I was raised in Happy Endings Resort, where everyone is friendly with one another. My mom had to be both parents to my five sisters and me. Living with six women rubbed off on me: I grew to be sensitive and respectful of women. I’ve always been a gentleman; and yet, most girls wanted someone who would treat them like shit.

Those women find me all the time, but Lyly . . . she’s different. I will figure her out, and she’ll see that I’m who she needs.

Chapter Three
Dazed & Confused

Lyly

What’s worse than my roommate waking me up from a sex dream? Dreaming of another guy, while my boyfriend beats on my dorm-room door. Ethan is everything Jesse’s not: sensitive, a good listener, and smart. I’m not saying Jesse’s stupid, but he does have a tendency to do dumb shit. Such as last night, when he left me waiting while he did what he wanted—and what he wanted was his ex. I know Jesse loves me. But it’s just like Ethan said, the spark is gone. While Jesse pounds away at the door, I sit here wondering if I should open it. My pulse quickens, as I know that once I open the door . . . our lies and burnt out flame—will end.

“Are you going to get that—or do I have to?” My roommate, Jessica rolls her eyes. She also knows what’s behind the door. Jessica is use to my constant drama with Jesse. I tell myself to fight the tears and the pain he keeps causing, and to finally put an end to us. This is the biggest decision I’ve ever had to make, and it’s harder than I imagined it would be. As I sluggishly get out of bed and walk to the door, I take a deep breath and then unlock it. I don’t have enough time to turn the door knob before the door swings opens. “We need to talk—now.” He takes my hand and pulls me out the door. Same shit—different day. “Lyly, I don’t know what I was doing last night. Tommy gave me some shit, and I didn’t even ask what it was—I just took it. Please believe me. You know I feel nothing for that girl.” His endless excuses make me sick to my stomach. He thinks he’s going to get away with it every time, like I’m going to ignore his lies and take him back. I would believe that too, since I’ve done it in the past.

“No. Not this time, Jess. I can’t do this with you anymore. I love you so much, I always have, and I always will. But this . . . Us—” I point to him and then place my hand over my heart, “we’re over.” I have to be brave, and end us. “You’re done? Just like that? You’re gonna just walk away from this—after all we’ve been through because of one mistake? What happened to forever, Lyly? What happened to that, huh?” One mistake—is he kidding me? “Jesse, this isn’t the first time you put pieces of yourself—where they don’t belong. You know what happened to forever? You ruined it! Today I realized . . . my forever . . . doesn’t end with you.” As I struggle to hold back tears, his fight for us leaves his face; and all that’s left is the loss of us. It hurts, but it pains me even more to watch him be with someone else. He lets my hand go, and without another word—he turns and walks away.

“Bout time you stood up for yourself.” Leaning against the doorway, Jessica gives me a meek smile. Her interest in my breakup surprises me. Especially, since she usually keeps to herself: she dresses weird and uses her headphones to ignore the world. “Yeah, I guess,” I say, hugging myself. “Lyly, I’ve watched you for three-and-a-half-years now, and your relationship with him is nothing but drama. He doesn’t deserve you. We could have been friends a lot sooner, if I’d known you could stand up for yourself. I, however, wouldn’t have held my tongue—if we were friends. That’s why I never wanted to talk to you. But now . . . I want to help you get through this.” What a strange start to my day. “Come on—let’s skip class.” She smirks. I guess she’s not as weird as I thought.

We chat most of the day, and she shares why she always wears headphones: she wants to produce music. “I hate college guys and most of the girls too, so that’s why I keep to myself. I’m a homebody,” she laughs, as we make it to the table at the Mom and Pop Diner. Being back at the diner makes me think of Ethan. Even though my heart still yearns for Jesse, maybe Ethan can win me.

As we walk into our dorm, Jessica returns to her music. And now, I’m alone to think about everything: I hurt more than I’ll ever admit. When I ended us, it felt as if I ripped my heart out. How he walked away, without even fighting for us—crushed me. When I no longer want to waste my tears on him, I realize that it’s time to let him go. But letting go of him is a change my heart is having issues understanding. I thought it would be easier if I broke up with him. But starting over is never easy.

*

What do I do with myself, when I have to alter my entire life by becoming my own person? The first thing on my list is to make friends. After I shrug into my jacket and sling my purse over my shoulder, I step out and shut the door. I lean against the wall in the hallway as I scroll through my contact list, and quickly realize—I have no friends. All of them I met through Jesse. Well, except Jessica and Ethan. When I think of Ethan, warmth surrounds me. He makes me laugh and the connection I feel with him is intense. I tap on his number and listen to it ring twice before I get nervous and hang up. Who talks on the phone anymore? What if he hates talking and likes texting better? I mentally battle with myself—until his call interrupts my thoughts. Taking a deep breath, I answer. “Hello?”

“Prank calling me are you?” He laughs. His comment makes me blush, and I’m a mute idiot because I feel stupid for calling him. “Lyly, you there? Is something wrong?” he asks, serious this time. “Yeah, um . . . I’m here. Are you busy?” That wasn’t supposed to happen—crap.

“Could you meet me at the diner?” I ask without mentioning my breakup. He agrees to meet me, in an hour, at the diner. I shouldn’t bring him into my mess. It’s not fair to him, and yet, right now—he is the only person I want to see. Am I leading him on? I need to be away from the campus and Jess, and reduce any chance of running into my ex.

Of course my plan fails, since as I step into the diner—I see Jesse . . . with the same girl from last night. It stings, and my stomach tightens with jealously as my face heats up in pure irritation. He quickly moved on . . . as if I never existed. As a reflex of being in love with him—all my life—I can’t help it and my legs march towards them. His eyes widen as he blurts out, “Ly?”

“So everything you said—was it all a lie? I didn’t think . . . I could hurt any more—than I did this morning. But you definitely proved that theory wrong,” I mumble, battling the tears as long as I can before they spill over.

“Lyly, stop! You just show up at a bad time—every time I see you. I swear it’s not what it looks like. Will you tell her, Melissa—fuck. I was upset, and came here for something to eat; we’re not on a date. She just happened to show up.” He throws his hands in the air as he pleads. But I can’t listen anymore, so I turn to leave and rush through the glass door. People whisper and stare, but I don’t give a shit. I don’t care what he says . . . because none of it matters. His actions keep proving that I’m right—and it’s like a slap in face. I run as fast as I can because walking will only allow him to catch me. I need to forget him.

Chapter Four

The Plan

Ethan

It shocks me to get Lyly’s phone call. I thought that she had made up with her boyfriend and that I’d be long forgotten. So as her sweet hello pours into my ear, I know something’s wrong. I offer to go out with her again, even if it’s a bad idea for my emotions.

After I shower, and wash my nerves away, I step out and wrap a towel around my waist. Urgent knocking lures me out of my bathroom. I wasn’t expecting company . . . It’s probably just a cyber purchase. As I attempt to open the door—Lyly pushes me in and closes the door behind her. She catches me off guard when she jumps in my arms and wraps her legs around my waist. Lyly grabs a handful of my damp hair and forces my mouth on hers. Her lips are sweet like cotton candy, and the taste makes me shiver. As my dick stirs under the towel, I know I have to stop myself. If I don’t I’ll use the living room couch to devour every inch of her tight body. I slowly kiss her, nipping at her full-bottom lip as I pull away. But then, she bites my neck, making it impossible to control myself. “Woah . . . Lyly—slow down,” I huff as she slides her hand under my towel and up my thigh, but then I jolt away from her.

She goes scarlet red in embarrassment or rejection; I can’t really tell which one—maybe both. “I should go . . . I’m so sorry, Ethan. I . . . didn’t mean to . . .” she stutters. She climbs off me and takes a few steps back, looking at the floor and then turns to leave. Before she reaches the door, I grab her right arm and turn her around to face me. When her eyes meet mine, I see that they’re overflowing with tears. Without a word, I pull her into my arms until her tears release on my bare chest. “He . . . was with her—he didn’t even care,” she cries in between sniffles. This guy is about to meet me, and it’s not going to be pretty. “It’s okay, sweet girl. There’s plenty of men out there that would love to have you. Don’t waste your tears on him: he isn’t worth it,” I try to comfort her. “I’m sorry that I keep coming to you to cry; you shouldn’t have to pick up the pieces he’s scattering. I just feel like . . . you care about what I say when I talk, and you actually listen to me. You’re the first person I thought of—so I ran to you,” she admits. Damn. When she puts it like that, it makes sense. She truly doesn’t have any friends.

“It’s just been one thing after another. First, Jesse and I broke up, then I had an odd girl date with my roommate. And just now, when I went to wait for you—I found Jesse . . . with what’s her face.” He just keeps lying, and needs to stop stringing her along; his lack of love for her is obvious. Then there’s her damn near raping me . . . to get back at him. That’s something I have to set straight. “You came here to forget, didn’t you?” I bluntly ask. The shame on her face says it all. “You know it wouldn’t have gone any further, right? Because I’m not that type of guy, Lyly. I won’t take advantage of you while you’re hurting.” I did it again; I made her feel like shit while she already felt like no one cared. I pull her closer, looking into her sad-blue eyes “Do you want to get him back?” Confusion spreads across her face. “The best way to get back at him is to go out with me, and experience something new . . . someone new. I can’t promise that you won’t fall in love with me, though.” I playfully nudge her shoulder.

My towel shifts, so I mention dressing myself. Her blush and smirk return as she drifts her gaze to where my towel barely conceals. I imagine her hand wandering up my leg. If she had reached an inch further to where she desired—our night might have gone an entirely different way. As I make my way to my room, I lick my lips and can taste her mouthwatering lip gloss. “Fuck. . .” I whisper to myself.

When I come back out, she’s sitting on my couch staring at me with a smile. “Are you better now? You’re not gonna try to kiss me are you?” I joke. “Very funny, thank you for listening, Ethan. Seriously—I would be a mess without you,” she says, standing up to hug me. A strange low rumble causes me to look down at her. “Did you just growl at me?” I grin as she releases the cutest fucking giggle I’ve ever heard. “I haven’t eaten all day.” Her full pout and playful stare form. I cock an eyebrow and say, “Well, let’s not let Jesse ruin the date we had planned, shall we?” She answers by placing her arm in mine.

Chapter Five

Feelings

Lyly

What the hell was I thinking? Normal people don’t show up and throw themselves at someone, and yet, I can still feel my lips on his. I claimed his mouth, and our tongues collided in a heated moment. Then when my hand had a mind of its own and slowly crept up his thigh . . . Whoa. Out of anger, I tried to sleep with Ethan, and I couldn’t deny it. But seeing Jesse with her—again—forced the jealously to burn in me.

As we pull into the diner, for the second night in a row, I feel at ease. I don’t know what it is about Ethan, but his presence makes me feel true happiness and comfort. If I’m honest, it’s like Jesse doesn’t exist. After being with him for so long, I’ve gotten sick of the same old love and it’s become clear—he has too. As usual, Ethan opens my door, extends his hand to help me and helps me down from his truck. He never breaks his grasp, and holds my hand the whole way to the door, at least until we scoot into a rear booth.

We seem fine, but then our night takes an awkward turn. We’re in a silent staring contest—until he clears his throat. “There’s a carnival in town . . . What would you say about going with me, after we eat?” He surprises me, but his plans are exactly what I need. A break from everything will be great because having fun tonight, by ignoring Jesse, sounds even better than worrying about my broken heart. “Do you still want to eat here or would you rather we eat at the carnival?” I love the way he thinks. “Mmm . . . junk food, please.” His face lights up as I tug on my jacket and stand up quickly. We didn’t order anything yet, but when he tosses a five on the table—I swoon over his generosity. Ethan’s firm hand rests on my lower back as he guides me out of the dinner, and then helps me climb into his truck. His dimples crease as he grins, shuts my door and then walks toward the driver’s side.

*

It cools down as we arrive at the carnival. The field parking lot illuminates with colors from the rides’ flashing lights. Funnel cake and cotton candy scents swirl in the wind, making my mouth water and my stomach growl even louder. “What do you want to eat? There’s plenty of choices. We have the greasy cheese steaks over there, pizza, funnel cake, and my favorite—popcorn,” he asks, pointing to each place. “Popcorn?” I wrinkle my nose, and he smirks at me. “How about we have hot dogs, then I can kick your ass at balloon darts?” I grin as I pull him towards the food, and then huff out, “I’ve been craving these goodies—all day long!”

After we buy our food, he leads me to a tent that houses seats and tables. “So what are your plans after school?” he questions, taking a big bite of his hotdog. I can barely hide the smile creeping across my face. “I’m not really sure yet. I’m hoping to get a nursing position in a small doctor’s office, nothing too extravagant. You know?” He smiles and then finishes his food. “What about you?”

“I’m going back home to Happy Endings Resort; it’s a small resort where I grew up. I have an architect job waiting for me there. I will be designing buildings and homes, which is something I’ve always dreamed of doing,” he beams. His life plans excite me, and it makes me want to know everything about him. “Do you want a family and kids?” I blurt out, and throw my hand over my lips as soon as the words leave my mouth. My question doesn’t scare him; he just smiles and answers, “Actually, I want two: a boy and a girl.” Wow. Two babies? “I know we aren’t on a date or anything, so ignore me if my questions are too personal . . . I’m just nosey.” I nervously laugh as my cheeks blush. “Oh, but we are on a date, and if I remember correctly—you’re supposed to be kicking my ass at a game.” He playfully pulls me out of my chair and then leads us towards the game booths.

“Five dollars for four darts—and you can win that beauty there a teddy bear.” An old man calls us towards his booth, and then takes Ethan’s money and replaces it with the darts. Ethan rolls his shoulders back and winks at me. He lines up his shot; and I giggle next to him, hoping to mess up his first try. He throws it with the flick of his wrist and nails it, popping the balloon. My distraction didn’t work, and I pout as I take the next dart. I flick my wrist just the same and it hits the wall above a blue balloon, which falls to the ground. He laughs and points, making fun of me. “You throw like a girl.” He playfully bumps into me.

“Hey, don’t be mean to her—you big jerk!” A little boy shows up out of nowhere. “Ow. What the hell?” Ethan shouts, hopping up-and-down on one foot, “That little shit just stomped on my foot.” I can’t hold back my laughter, and I laugh so hard that I can’t catch my breath. He hands the darts back to the old man, slips him a twenty and grabs the biggest bear off the rack that’s above him; and then he hands it to me.

His shoulders slouch as he limps with his gaze on the ground. “Are you okay?” Catching up with him, I try not to laugh. “I’m good, but damn that kid had some kick behind that assault—Jesus.” I help him limp his way back over to the tables, to sit, then slip his shoe off and note the damage. I know it sounds mean but, I can’t fight back the impulse to giggle. “I’m glad this is funny for you,” he pouts, pulling his sock off and props his foot in my lap.

“He was just defending me from a big meanie.” I smirk as I place my hand on his foot, and the air changes: I caress him lightly and check for bruising. This feels too intimate, and he feels it too. He quickly removes his foot and puts his sock back on and then his shoe. “I’m good, you good? Want to go to the Ferris wheel?” His quick change of subject, tells me that he shares the same feelings. It was intense but awkward, in the sexiest way.

Chapter Six

Mixed Emotions

Ethan

Man . . . In a matter of seconds, it went from funny to serious. Her touch does things to me and her smile makes me weak. Oh—and her laugh is like electricity. Why did I sign up to do this? My emotions are mixing and that’s never a good thing. Not when there’s another man in the running. However, if I’m diving into this, I might as well put all of me on the line.

After a short wait in line, she grips my hand as we step into our Ferris wheel pod. Lyly inches closer, as the ride climbs higher. I look out at all the lights over the side of the Ferris wheel, and my stomach twist into knots. “You’re a tad pale—are you scared of heights?” she questions. Lyly will never know . . . but I’m scared shitless. I panicked and named the first ride I saw. And now I’m paying for it. “No. I just get nervous. Did you know that these pods are attached to the rim of this thing, and are only kept upright by gravity? But what if . . . gravity fails us—and we die?” Her eyes and mouth widen; and then she causally punches my arm. “Why would you tell me that—after we’re riding it? Are you insane? I should have let that kid beat you up.”

Laughter burst from our lips, and then I continue with what history I know about the ride. My knowledge impresses her. “How do you know all of this?” she questions, scooting closer to me. “When I was little, I wanted to build rides. But the Ferris wheel . . . it’s always been such a tricky machine; and I’ve never been able to map it out correctly.” She leans into my side and places her head on my shoulder. “Maybe you didn’t try hard enough,” she whispers. For some reason I read deeper into that response, but it’s probably all in my head. She’s sneaking into my heart, and she doesn’t even realize it. She’s more than just a pretty face; she’s effortless to be around. I have to tell her how I feel, but as I’m about to tell her our revenge plan is a bad idea—she jolts up from my shoulder. “Is that him?” I look to where she’s pointing and sure enough, it’s Jesse with another girl.

At this point, my temper is boiling. Who does this guy think he is? I know it’s rough for her to see it, and I can see the rim of her eyes start to swell with tears. “Don’t you dare shed another tear over him. Tonight, you’re here with me and we’re gonna make that known starting—right now.”

When the ride stops, we climb out and I place my hand in hers and pull her to a cotton candy stand. I plan on tasting the sweetness off her lips. Again. That’ll show him what he’s missing. “I see him . . . right behind us. I need you to play along okay?” She nods her head, but her face creases with worry. “Lyly?” Jesse questions. “Yeah, Jesse. What’s your excuse—now?” She scolds, taking a step towards him. Lyly’s even cuter when she’s mad and holding a giant teddy bear. Her bluntness causes his stare to darken. I grip her hand tighter, and offer, “Let’s not do this here, Ly—okay?” She leans into my shoulder and whispers, “Let’s go.” But I can’t let it slide this time: I gently run my fingers along her jawbone and then lift her chin to look at me as I bend in to tenderly kiss her. I hope he’s watching me take her breath away. Fucking jerk.

After I break our kiss, she doesn’t say anything more to Jesse. She briskly turns and drags me towards the truck. “Wait. We aren’t letting him fuck up our night. We’re gonna go back over there; I’m gonna buy you some popcorn, and then we’re gonna ride some rides. Put the bear in the truck—let’s do this shit.” She doesn’t argue, but laughs as she throws the bear in the passenger seat and then takes my hand in hers. “I want to take you into the Haunted House of Mirrors, it’s fun—I promise.” Being inside a dark and eerie place would be the perfect distraction from the asshole outside. After a short wait in line, we step in but she’s anxious and smothers her face in my back. “I thought you said this was fun?” she squeezes my sides. “We can make it fun.” I offer as I turn her around and pin her to a mirror. The only light, in the dark room is the neon strips that lace around the mirrors, but it’s just enough to see her sultry reaction. Our eyes lock and the air around us rips away. It’s just the two of us, face-to-face with our noses touching and our faint breathing. She licks her lips and waits for me to make my move. I reach up and brush a strand of hair off her face and then tuck it behind her ear. “Kiss me,” she whispers. I lean into her until our lips ignite a fire that abruptly burns into my heart, and I don’t know if I can stop it—but I do.

“Again, we forgot to do this in front of your ex-boyfriend,” I joke, leading her out of the maze. “Yeah, about that, I think we’re really bad at this game. I like you and your kisses, Ethan . . . but I don’t want to hurt you. Since my emotions are everywhere, please avoid getting too close. Can you just be my friend for right now?” Woah—I didn’t see that coming. “Anything you need, I’ll be it for you, just say it and I’m there.” I mean every word I tell her, even if it pains me to sit in the friend-zone. “Can you take me home?” she asks, turning and walking out the gates of the carnival.

*

We drive back in silence, and I feel bad. I shouldn’t have kissed her in private. When we pull up to the light at the campus, she turns to me and says, “No, I meant take me home with you.” What? She’s so confusing; and yet, I can’t say no. We drive back to my place and park. “I know what you’re thinking: Oh, she needs to get her shit straight. I know, and I will. But tonight—can you just do me a favor? Just hold me, please? I need you to hold me and make me forget about the spiraling emotions in my head . . . just for tonight.” I can feel her sadness as it consumes her. I reach towards her and press my palm against her hand. Our gaze locks until she jerks away and steps out of my truck. “I can do that.” My hopes deflate as I follow her out of the truck and towards my apartment door. Once we’re inside, I lead her straight to my room. “Make yourself comfortable; here’s a t-shirt to sleep in and a pair of basket-ball shorts. I will give you a minute to change, and I’ll be right back.” I lie the items neatly on the bed and step out of the room, shutting the door behind me. When I return, she’s snug under the covers. But the shorts are where I left them. This isn’t good. “It’s okay, Ethan. I don’t bite—it’s just underwear.” It’s not her I worry about . . .fuck me. I pull off my shirt and then slide my pants down to my boxers. Her eyes rake over my chest and stomach as her gaze lingers below my waist. “It’s just underwear,” I smirk, and I’m pretty sure she gulps. Lyly scoots over to let me climb into my bed, and her blue lace panties show. I’m not gonna lie: it’s gonna be a long night. “Put your arm around me tight, and hold me close.” I do as she says, and it feels right. A minute later, her heavy breathing fills the room, and I hold her close until I fall asleep.

*

I wake to the soft hum of her snore. Watching her peacefully sleep in my arms is incredible. Everything feels real, too perfect, which is usually the moment everything goes to shit. She doesn’t know what she wants: and I’m holding on for dear life, as she tries to figure it out. Right now . . . in this moment—I want her. I need all the strings tightly in place and for her to feel the same. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.

Maybe it’s her contagious laugh or the way she looks at me when she needs me to comfort her. Whatever it is . . . I want to be hers. I threw myself into this head first; all it took was seeing her at a party, two years ago. The night she walked through the door, she had an aura around her that halted the world. Time froze when I saw her smile, but she was with Jesse—and I never had a chance.

She stirs and presses against me until she shifts to look at me. And of course, the corners of her mouth raise into that sexy smile. “Hi,” she greets me. “Lyly. . . I want you.” It slips out before I can stop it, and she freezes next to me. “I know. . . I can feel it. And it’s the most terrifying feeling, Ethan. I . . .” she stutters, closing her eyes. I know change is hard for her. “Breakfast?” I ask, changing the subject. I can’t make her choose; I can’t force her to forget her first love. No one forgets their first. I have to wait it out, and I will hold on until she tells me to let go.

Defeat sinks me into the cushion, as she climbs out of bed. Between the morning wood and her tight ass, my dick is so solid that at any moment—it might just snap. I wonder if she knows that she’s teasing me. In order to hide my excitement, I tell her to head to the kitchen without me. “I need a quick shower.” If she only knew my truth.

Chapter Seven

Change

Lyly

I’m safe in Ethan’s arms, but my developing emotions frighten me. I’m juggling my feelings like a circus clown. Nothing makes sense anymore; and each choice I make is confusing. Ethan has feelings for me, and I don’t know how to respond to them. I’m not sure if forgetting my first love, so quickly, is normal. But my bond with Jesse became a puzzle with missing pieces.

My stomach growls, pulling me out of my thoughts, so I peek inside Ethan’s fridge to see what I can whip up for breakfast. It’s basically empty, only a few beers and old take out. I guess when he said breakfast—he meant out. Laughing to myself, I shuffle through the cabinets with no luck. I’m restless, so I take a detour into the living room. I never really got a good look of anything, since I usually showed up in tears. The room is small and definitely a bachelor pad. Plain grey walls, no decorations, and only a few pictures on a mantle over a small gas fireplace. My eyes land on a picture frame of him, in front of an old trailer, with a bunch of women. Weird . . . One I can spot as his mother; he looks just like her: dimples, same eyes and hair color. Then I notice the resemblance in all the others. “Those are my sisters—I swear,” Ethan says, right behind me.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop, it’s just . . . you have no food,” I confess, placing the frame down. He grins and reassures me it’s okay. Ethan’s acting strange, more quiet than usual. He leads me to the kitchen, and from the one and only cabinet I didn’t check—he pulls out a box of pancake mix. Remaining silent, he goes to work and makes us breakfast. Something changed this morning. It’s awkward and a big elephant in the room.

Why does this keep happening? “So . . . You have five sisters?” I break the tension. “Yes, five sisters. The two youngest are twins and I’m their hero. You’d love them. My dad left us when I was little, so some of my sisters are free spirits. But I plan to move back and help my mom keep them in line. I’m pretty protective of all of them.” He continues to focus on our pancakes. That explains his tenderness and why I feel so at ease with him. I can’t help but compare Jesse to Ethan. Jesse has never been tender, self-less, or trustworthy. He’s been my rock, but in such different ways; and as the years have transitioned, so has his personality. Jesse changed from the twelve-year-old boy I fell in love with—he used to be my hero. But now, he’s a villain. He stole my heart when we were younger, and hasn’t returned it.

I know he’s taken me for granted: he’s cheated and hasn’t given any sense of regret about any of his hurtful decisions. I should be well aware that he’s not in love with me anymore. But it’s scary to think about life without him.

Ethan places my food in front of me and interrupts my thoughts “What’s the plan for today?” he asks. “I’m not sure; it’s Friday and I’m already late for class. You decide,” I offer, shoveling the sweet deathtrap of calories into my mouth. “Do you hike trails? Or have you ever tried it?” He smirks. I forget what he says when his dimples make their appearance—he’s so hot. “So have you?” Shit—focus, Lyly . . . for Christ sake. “No. Lately, I never really do much besides go to parties. I don’t think I’ve done real activities outdoors—since I was like . . . fifteen? And that’s because I lived on a Missouri farm, and my daddy wouldn’t allow me to sit around all day,” I laugh, finishing the last bite of my food.

“Then it’s settled—Lyly Denvers is going on her first hike in the woods,” he gloats with excitement. It takes seconds for it to dawn on me that I’m not in shape. I have always been naturally thin, no workouts needed. I just hope I can climb hills—without dying. He offers me a pair of his sweat pants and a hoodie. And I mosey to his room to throw them on, but the pants are too loose. How in the hell am I gonna do anything without them falling to my ankles? I come out of his room, holding them in a bunch around my waist. “I don’t think they are going to hold up,” I quip with a crook in my smile. “I can fix that.” He approaches me, and gently grips my hips before his fingers toy around the waist band. I inhale sharply from his touch. It sounds strange, but the electrifying pull heightens each time he touches me. Maybe it’s hormones or possibly my imagination—but I feel it bolt right through my body like lightning.

Taking a deep breath, I avoid the desire running through my veins and hold still. “It just needed the string ran back through. You’re good to go.” He smiles; and I make what his touch does to me so obvious that his lips spread into a cocky grin. “Thank you.” I blush. He grabs a backpack, and we set off on an adventure, at least that’s what I’m calling it. “We need to swing by the store for some water and a few other things; it’ll only take a few minutes.”

Summer is approaching fast, but we still get cool mornings and nights. “Today is cloudy, but the air is mild and I sense a storm.” I peer out the truck window and then gape at him. “It’s fine; it’s like this all the time. It will pass over,” he argues. Bickering with Ethan is fun, he doesn’t take everything serious, or get mad when he is wrong. He just changes the subject.

We arrive at the store, and I follow him inside. I watch as he hurls a case of water on the bottom of the cart and then shuffles throughout the store for the other stuff we need. He tosses rope in the cart; and my eyebrows crease with concern as I question, “What is the rope for?”

“Rope is a must; you never know if you’ll need it.” His concerns, scare me. What kind of hiking are we doing? I trust in him that whatever it’s for, he won’t let me get hurt. I think . . . When we are done shopping, I help load our items into the truck. The clouds are getting lower, and the sky is beginning to darken. He still swears it won’t storm, and I chuckle at his reply. “It will blow over, and before you know it—sunshine and rainbows will appear. No, seriously if it rains I will shelter you.” He holds the door as he helps me into the truck, and then hustles to his side. As he climbs in, I ask, “Where are we going?” Ethan gives my leg a squeeze and says, “It’s an hour drive from here and . . . a surprise.” He sings along to all the songs on the radio, which shortens the ride. His voice makes me forget about everything. When we’re alone it’s like no one else exist, but one thought of Jesse makes my happiness feel wrong. Ethan talks about his family, his past, and I learn that Tommy is his cousin. I hated Tommy because he got Jesse into partying. Ethan usually follows Tommy to the parties, since he’s the only friend he has in school. I shouldn’t blame Tommy, but he’s that type of guy. When it comes to relationships, it’s easier to blame others. “You don’t have to like him, shit my mom thinks he’s a bad influence, and that’s her own blood,” he recites.

“Have any plans for summer break?” I ask, watching out the window. “Remember, I’m going home for the summer. I promised my mom I would.” His summer plans cause a pang to form in my gut. It’s only been a few days, but he’s quickly grown on me. I’m fond him being here, listening to me, and caring. I’m going crazy with all these emotions; I should be taking it one day at a time. “We’re here,” he interrupts my thoughts. But before I can reach for my door, he swings it open and extends his hand as he waits for me.

I look around, and all I see are mature trees. His seriousness towards hiking shows as he double checks our supplies. The trees are at the peak of summer, and the leaves are like massive green cloaks that keep the sky hidden. It’s beautiful and peaceful as I take it all in. “It’s stunning isn’t it?” he asks, taking my hand to turn me around to face the direction we are going to take. I’m speechless. Even during my childhood on the farm, I’d never seen anything like this place. “Where are we?” I ask as a group of dazzling, colorful butterflies flutter past my face. “This is one of the best hiking trails: Welcome to Happy Endings Resort! This is where I grew up, right here—on these very trails.” He turns to face me, and his gorgeous smile forms. “I am going to show you my safe place. I know you’re going through so much, and being with me, like this . . . is probably making everything harder. But I want you to have a safe place, so when you get to the point of wanting to be alone—you can come here. No cell phones; no one around for miles, just you and the wilderness.”

He doesn’t know it, but it’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me. My internal emotional battle is swaying towards letting Ethan win.

“Thank you.” Is all I can whisper—anything more would lead me to be a weeping mess. He stuffs the bag with all the items we need, and then pulls the straps over his broad shoulders. “Ready?” he asks, shaking his head when he sees my uneasiness. He holds my hand as we trek to the beginning of the trail, which leads uphill right from the start. It’s also the beginning of the burn I feel in my legs. The top is nowhere in sight, but I can’t ask him to stop. I suck it up and plow through it until we reach the top. I’m breathless as we come to a stop; and my body aches as knees shake. This is for sure one good way to find out how out of shape I am. His hands brush across my back, leaving a tingle in its wake. “You need a break, Lyly?” I shake my head no; I don’t want to give up, just yet. I sigh as I lift my head and see a start of another steep hill. “Okay, maybe a break is a good idea. Now for a serious question: are you trying to kill me?” I huff out. “Never. Trust me once we make it past these bluffs, I promise—you’ll be thanking me.”

I push the burning pain in my legs aside and power walk past him. I hear him snort behind me, and it makes me grin. We finally reach the top of the last hill; but as I take in the view around me, I gasp in delight. He was right; it was worth the crippling pain. I face a clearing that has a large creek, deep enough to swim in, and an open patch of fresh green grass that I want to lie a blanket down and relax with a picnic. It’s perfect—the surrounding trees sway in the breeze and flowers dance by the creek. I seal my eyes and allow this moment to cleanse my mind. Eyes still shut, I feel him move next to me as his arm briefly brushes mine. “This is my safe place,” he says softly. I open my eyes and turn to him. “Thank you for bringing me here. This has to be the most surreal place I’ve ever been.” I reach out, and place my arms around him. Breathing in his sweet and salty aroma makes my insides scream with want. I crave him, and right now nothing else matters. He gently squeezes me tighter, keeping me in his grip. I don’t know or care how long I make him hold me—it feels too good to let go.

“You know what the best part about this place is now?” he mumbles his hot breath next to my ear. I pull back and look into his needy eyes. “You.” He exhales and leans in. As if my emotions weren’t drowning me already, now he elevates them ten times more. I see it coming but have no time to prepare. He gradually lifts his hand, running it carefully down my cheek and then around to the back of my neck, pulling me forward slightly to meet his full and waiting lips. Once he captures me in his embrace, his tongue dips in and massages mine—and I moan on reflex.

When my desire escapes my throat, it gives him the okay to take it a step further. His free hand slides to my waist, lunging us closer and then he slips up my shirt. My nipples harden underneath the lace material, making the effect intense. His hands roam freely, up-and-down my back, and I relax into his warm chest. I let him feel all of me.

BOOM!

We both jump, pulling away from each other. Thunder rolls throughout the sky, and I feel the first raindrop hit my forehead. “I told you,” I giggle. “So what, this could be fun,” he smiles, palming my ass and lifting me up off the ground and then tossing me over his shoulder. “You’re nuts—put me down.” I smack his back, and then he smacks my ass. Before I know it, he’s sprinting and we become airborne as he leaps off a nearby rock. We plunge into the water and become a mess of tangles. The icy water throws my body into shock. As I break through the water’s surface, I gasp for air. But I don’t get a chance to scream because once more—he locks his lips with mine. The coolness of the water doesn’t compare to the heat he ignites in me. He’s more impatient and rough, as if pulling apart would be our end. His hands rush over my body, touching me in all the sweet places—causing each spot to tingle. I snatch up the bottom of his wet shirt and lift it up off his arms and then toss it to the side. It gives me access to kiss his sculpture-like chest and broad shoulders.

He’s greedy for control: he tries to lift my shirt up but it clings for dear life and gives him trouble. But nothing stops him because he rips it apart and frees my chest. Being in the public eye doesn’t concern me, as the rain continues to pour down on us. He slows down his pace and takes me in as he reaches behind me and slips my bra to my elbows. Every fiber in me is begging for release. The rain mixes with the creek and splashes around us, as he lifts me up, pulling my legs around his waist. He doesn’t take it to the place I want, and I wiggle restless against him. “I want you so much, but I won’t take something that belongs to someone else. Say the words, Lyly—and I will give you what we need . . . right here—right now.” His words make me shiver, but I don’t know if I’m ready to let go, and I shut down. “I can’t . . . I’m sorry this is going too far—I’m not ready.” I pull away from him, and turn around to put my bra back on. But as soon as I leave his arms, I feel regret. The fire burns out, and my rejection creases at his face. I led him on. And now, he’s never going to want to be around me again.

Rejection, confusion, and aggravation spread throughout his features—and it’s obvious he’s hurt. Before my shirt floats away, I grab it and clench my arms over my chest and I push my way out of the shallow water. Shame keeps me from looking at him, so I grab a towel from the bag and tighten it around me. I shift to my left and see him sulking in the same place I left him. My eyes fill with tears, as I sprint towards the trail we came from. Without looking back, I race down the steep hills in the pouring rain. My face streams with rain and tears, and of course, I don’t see the branch sticking out of the ground that trips me. I tumble down the hill; and when I come to a stop, pain radiates throughout my ankle. Tears continue to flow and I’m . . . and I’m terrified. What if he leaves me here? Before I’m able to scream for help—he lifts and cradles me in his firm arms. Then without a word, he carries me down the last hill.

We reach his truck, and our reflections are more mud than anything else. Sorrow strikes me when I note our joint reactions: our faces lack the happiness from earlier. “Lyly, I’m sorry. I lost control back there. I don’t know what happened; I just care for you a lot and it sucks that I can’t have you. Just forget it ever happened, okay?” He wants me to erase one of the best experiences of my life? All because I can’t make up my mind. I snuggle into his chest, wanting to show him comfort. “It’s my fault, don’t worry about it.” I mumble softly. He checks over my ankle, and there’s no swelling or bruising. It sure does hurt, though. He left his bag behind when he saw me fall. And we leave without it as we hop in the truck and drive away. “I don’t want to sound like an asshole . . . or anything—but . . . if you want to be with him or whatever—that’s fine. We will go to the bar tonight; I will have Tommy get him there, and we’ll make him regret what he’s done to you.” I’m mute—I tightly hug myself as I swallow my emotions because his tone is different. And all the feelings I thought he felt for me—were left behind with his backpack. I nod my head in agreement, as we drive away in an unwieldy silence.

Chapter Eight

Losing the Battle

Ethan

Her rejection is a swift dagger to my heart because I’m falling too hard and too fast. I feel like the biggest piece of shit for not saying anything. She only needs me when she’s hurting, and I need to realize that’s all I am is her friend-zone knight. I need and deserve more from her, but it’s hard to get close enough to make her see it. Her soft breathing and the swooshing windshield wipers, keep me awake. As I drive I map out our plan and consider how she can win Jesse back. Jealously is the key: if he is in love with her or ever has been—then it will work. I just hope it doesn’t backfire.

I pull into the campus parking lot, and shake her awake. “Lyly, wake up . . . you’re home.” For a few seconds, she stirs and yawns until she slowly blinks her eyes open. She steps out of the truck with the towel tightly wrapped around her.

“You’re not coming?” Her frown tugs at my heart, but I can’t keep playing this game. I ignore her pouting and turn my attention to my steering wheel. “I’ll pick you up around eight.” She didn’t like that. “Okay . . . see you later,” she mumbles and then slams the door. Fuck. Being here for her feels like a mess and waste of my time, but my heart says she’s worth it. Like in the past, she’ll pick him—and I’ll drink myself into depression. Girls always pick bad guys over the good ones—what makes her any different? I talk myself down the whole way home. Maybe when I pick her up tonight, our tension will still be thick . . . and it will keep me from catching anymore feelings.

8:00pm

She answers the door in a skin tight black dress that stops right above her knees. And of course, my heart begins to race as all my pep talks vanish. Her hair is down, flowing in loose waves that frame her face; and light makeup accents her best facial features. I look around for the reaper because this girl is gonna be the death of me. She doesn’t dress up; she’s usually very causal, so this is new and so tempting. “You look breathtaking, and that’s an understatement,” I preach. Her eyes light up and her cheeks blush to a soft pink tint. She loops her arm into mine and softly breathes, “Ethan, I’m sorry for all the confusion . . . I don’t want to lose you.” At least she feels some sort of regret for putting me through hell. “Nothing to be sorry for, Lyly—I get it.” We leave the building arm-in-arm; I help her into my truck, and then we drive to the bar. I called and demanded Tommy to ensure Jesse would be there. I need to fix this, even if it hurts me in the long run.

We only have a few miles before we reach the bar, so I quickly brief her on our mission to make Jesse snap with jealousy. She agrees, but the uneasiness on her face shows she’s unsure. We squeeze into the bar, which is elbow-to-elbow full of patrons. Half-tipsy girls belt out the stupidest karaoke songs while the crowd cheers for them. “Over there.” I point towards the emptiest spot in the bar that is near the back. Only a few couples chat in the darker area, so I lead her in that direction. Our awkward, silent wait causes the air to thicken.

Hours pass as we uncomfortably sit mute and waiting for him. I shift to lock eyes with her, but our earlier moment and her need to look away, show her anxiety. My phone vibrates in my jacket pocket, I peek and notice that it’s Tommy stating that they’re here. Here we go. “He’s here—let’s do this,” I mumble in her ear. She nods her head and takes my hand. Judging by the faces we’re both wearing, it’s going to be hard to pull this off. “If this is going to work, you have to do everything I say. But don’t worry it’s all for show, okay?” I lead her over to the bar, buy her a drink and then causally pull her closer by her lower back. “He’s watching you.” I softly brush my lips across her ear, which causes her body to melt into mine. I rake my hand through her hair, touch her face and breathe along her neck. “You’re doing great.” It may be all for show, but my body betrays me. I want to tangle myself around her and be the one she shakes under—the one who makes her eyes roll back in pure pleasure. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jesse seething. He paces and never breaks eye contact with me.

“It’s working; giggle, Lyly—act like you want me,” I say, gently rubbing my hand from her shoulder and down her back. She leans in and brushes her lips across my neck and then to my chin. “I do want you, that’s why this is so hard.” As her lips inch closer to mine, I inhale her sweet scent. When we finally kiss, I know I’m no longer acting. Who knows if I’ll ever get the chance to do it again.

As I pull her out to the dance floor, Earned it by The Weekend fills the room. I turn her around until her ass is grinding against my cock, and my hands seize her hips. She works her body against me; and our genuine sexual tension returns with a powerful punch. It drives her wild. When she slides down my body and back up, my dick hardens more. I know she can feel my excitement through the thin fabric of her dress. She slides up for the last time, and I spin her around to face me until our noses touch. Our eyes unite, it’s as if we’re alone to do as we please. Her face shimmers under the lights as our breathing increases. I’d fuck her right now if she’d let me. The hunger in her eyes, mirrors mine. We’re in a dirty-dance trance as my hands rove her body—she’s too into it to even stop me.

But then she rips away. “What the fuck, Lyly? Are you here to embarrass me? Who the fuck do you think you are, dressing like a slut and rubbing all over this guy?” My whole body heats and shakes with each word Jesse spits. He didn’t have to go to such a low, and I can’t hide the anger building in my mostly liquor veins. He continues to talk down to her, so I snap. “Don’t talk to her like that—” I yank his shoulder to face me and drive my fist at his nose. Lyly screams, and that’s it. My fists take charge and he quickly tumbles and becomes a bloody mess on the dance floor. “Don’t you ever call her that—again . . . you piece of shit. You fuck whoever you want, and get mad when she’s done with you? That’s not how it fucking works—learn some fucking respect,” I growl in his face and send another blow to his jaw. When I feel like he’s had enough, I look up to see Lyly’s face . . . and it breaks me.

Surprise doesn’t even cover her facial expression. “What was that?” she yells at me, pushing me to the side as she runs to him. “You know what that was? That’s what you wanted! You wanted this—Lyly! I admit, I’m furious; but this is why we’re here. I hope you guys live happily ever after . . . with all his side chicks,” I shout, stepping over him as I spit on his face. I didn’t mean most of it; liquor is like a truth serum—but goddamn it if it’s not true. She wants him back, she wants him so bad that she can’t see a good thing in front of her. My rage forces me to leave them, I burst through the crowd and out the door. I pace and regret everything, especially making myself looking like an asshole. “Fuuuck,” I scream, punching the side of my truck. Lyly comes out the doors and Jesse’s arm is around her; they limp towards an adjacent street. It wrenches my heart and I feel dizzy. I shouldn’t be so upset; this wasn’t the plan. But my feelings became involved and I fucked it all up.

On my drive home, I’m hurt so stop at the liquor store. I watch my liquor gulps and almost hit a car as I pull into my street. I shut off the truck’s engine and slump over, drinking until I feel like making the walk to my apartment door. A buzz from my phone tells me it’s well after midnight, so I stumble out of the truck and almost fall on my ass.

I stagger all the way to my apartment door, and struggle with the lock as I to cling to the building when I feel myself slump over. Fucking women. Every time I fall for one, they lead me along—as if they care. Every-damn-time, I slur to myself as I continue to try and unlock the door. I try every key on my key ring to get in, and fail miserably. I huff, “Fuck it,” and slide down the wooden entry and then slump against it. I search my pocket for my phone, and when I find it—I scroll through my contacts and land on Bathroom Buddy. It pains me seeing her beautiful face appear on the screen. I hit dial. It rings once before she answers; but not with a hello, just heavy breathing. “I fucked up. . . I didn’t mean to fall in love with you. It just fucking happened . . . I’m not sorry for beating his ass, but I want you to know—I’m done playing games. I’m done being a doormat; I can’t be that guy.” I hang up before she can say a word. I’m sure I didn’t make sense, and she probably hates me, but at least she knows what she did to me. Fuck love.

Chapter Nine

Mistakes

Lyly

Since knowing him, I’ve never seen Ethan that emotional . . . and his phone call—hit a nerve. But every detail he spat was right. Our off-and-on relationship has hurt more than just us, and Ethan has just become another broken heart . . . in this pointless game.

When we arrive at Jesse’s dorm, I open the door and find his ex- Melissa on his bed. “Get out,” he spits at her. “What happened?” she questions with concern. I go to tell her, but he screams again. “I said get-the-fuck-out!” he interrupts me before I’m able to say a word. She covers her mouth as tears fill her eyes, and I know she’s hurt. “What the hell is your problem, Jesse?” I demand. “What’s my fucking problem? What’s yours? You think that us being on a break means you can go fuck whoever you want?” He’s pissing me off.

“I didn’t fuck anyone, but you sure as fuck don’t have a problem with being with Melissa—huh? How long have you been with—her, Jesse? How fucking long?” He’s caught, and the truth is etched in his brow. “You want the truth, Ly—you want it?” He stalks towards me, backing me into the wall. “I’ve been fucking Melissa for the past two years. Are-you-fucking-happy? There’s your reality check . . . I haven’t been in love with you for a while—you’re always tagging along; you don’t have friends and we don’t even have the same interests anymore. What did you want me to do? I’ve been with you forever, Lyly! I can’t just let you go . . .” The truth springs from his mouth and rips out my heart. I’m speechless. Two years. Two years that I’ve been miserable and too scared to break it off.

He leans in, and puts his hands on the sides of my face. “I will be here for you . . . until I take my last breath. And unlike our relationship, my love for you will never change. I love you, Ly. But I’m not in love with you . . . not anymore. I’m sorry.” Tears roll from my eyes as my heartless chest aches for what I thought was a forever love. Our ugly truth is out, and no matter how much I try—I can’t deny it . . . we’re done. Relief washes over his face when he realizes, we’re over. He pulls me into a hug. “I’ve always had scattered feelings for you, Lyly . . . and they just blur as we go on. I never meant to hurt you; I hate to see you cry. I even hate to see you all over another guy. Please just say something.”

I have nothing to say, except: “Just hold me close—one . . . last . . . time.” I should be seething, I should hit him, hate him, and scream for answers. But I know it’s been a long while coming and we need to say goodbye. His arm is snug around my back as we walk to his bed. He’s my first smile . . . My first kiss . . . My first everything. “Can we still be friends?” I whisper, and my voice is as small as I feel in his arms. “I will always be your friend, Ly. You and I are better at being friends. We always have been.” He’s right.

As my first love holds me close, thoughts of my bathroom buddy form. I can’t cry anymore tears for Jesse, but I can feel my eyes heat up with tears for Ethan. I wasn’t ready for us because I didn’t have the closure with Jesse. If Ethan was just some random guy, I probably would have slept with him the first night we met. But he’s not because he’s different. Ethan listened to me, comforted me, and made everything okay. I will make this right tomorrow, even if I have to beg him. I close my eyes and let sleep take over. Tomorrow will be a fresh start and a new Lyly.

*

I awaken to silence, and there’s no longer an arm around me. And for the first time in forever, I’m okay with it. I get out of Jesse’s bed and check the bathroom, but he’s not there. I wanted to say goodbye before I left, but I guess we already did that last night. I leave his dorm, head to my shower, and free myself from my uncomfortable dress. After I shower, I lazily apply my makeup. I put on some jean shorts and a flowy floral pattern tank top, and then leave for my walk to Ethan’s. My phone is dead and I don’t have a car. Jesse had always been my driver. And now, getting around is a hassle. After a half an hour walk, I arrive at his house and find him sound asleep on his doorstep. Not good. “Hey.” I shake him. “Ehhh?” He just mumbles something in gibberish. I struggle to lift him, and he’s too out of it to just wake up.

He must have gotten very drunk. Seeing him out cold against his apartment door is all the proof I need. I search his pocket for his cell phone. I need to call Tommy because he can help. When I find his cell, my heart aches because his wall paper is a picture of me. A simple picture he must have taken the night of the carnival. I quickly dial and Tommy answers on the first ring. “Hey, bro—you . . . okay? I can’t believe shit got as bad as it did last night.”

“Tommy, I need your help. Ethan’s passed out in front of his apartment, please come help me.” He agrees to help, rushes us off the phone and then hangs up.

*

Tommy’s hair bobs up the stairs, and I shout, “Hey!” I hug myself as I scratch at my arm, and admit, “I don’t know what happened after he left last night, but I’m pretty sure he’s still drunk.” My gaze drifts from Ethan to Tommy. “Yeah, he was pretty fucked up—last night. I’ve never seen him so pissed off before; he usually keeps a level head.” It’s all my fault. I take Ethan’s keys and unlock the door. Tommy picks Ethan up and carries him into his room. I don’t know how he’ll react when he sees me, and that’s scary as hell. I say goodbye to Tommy, and return to Ethan’s room. He’s face down on his bed with his shoes and jacket still on. He looks uncomfortable, so I slip his shoes off and then carefully pull his jacket off his shoulders and arms. He moans at the relief and turns on his side. His youthful face is adorable, almost child-like, as he sleeps. His features are soft and sweet as he breathes heavily. I just watch him, and it takes a lot to restrain myself from cuddling up with him, but I hold back.

I sit on the side of the bed for a while, until he starts to stir. It’s around five in the evening; and I’m starving, tired, and restless as hell. “Lyly?” he says, rubbing his eyes. “Hey, you . . . How ya feeling?” I give him a half smile. “Like I got hit by a bus . . . I’m sorry, Lyly. I didn’t mean all that shit I said.” He reaches out for me to climb in next to him. “It’s my fault. You were right about everything. I shouldn’t have agreed to get him back, nor used you as a ploy. I should have let him go and ended it that night.” I snuggle against him tighter. He asks about Jesse, how much damage he did, and about our night, so I tell him about us officially breaking up.

My favorite part about Ethan is the way he cares, he holds me and listens to my every word. He doesn’t have an ignorant comment, and keeps his negative thoughts to himself. He bites his tongue, at least while sober. “I’m going to give you time to think of all that’s happened, and I want you to know that I’ll be here for you—okay? Find yourself, and figure out what it is you need. Just know I want all strings attached and I will fight for your love—regardless of the time I have to wait. You’ve already marked my heart with all your cuteness.” He runs his fingers across my stomach and then lightly tickles me. I jump and it makes him laugh.

“Ticklish?” He grins and tickles me even more. “No—stop,” I scream playfully. He slowly comes to a stop and then hugs me tighter. “Thank you for this . . . I don’t know how I got here or half of what I’ve said last night, but thank you.” God he melts my heart. I don’t want to jump into bed with him . . . I mean—I do, but lord help me—I desperately want to kink up in the sheets with him. But I can’t, not until I know for sure that I won’t hurt him with my stupid feelings.

I nudge his firm abs, and say, “Go shower so that we can start fresh. Plus, I’m starving.” He laughs at my demands, but he follows through.

Chapter Ten

A Fresh Start

Ethan

Tomorrow is the beginning of summer break, and I’m really hoping I can talk Lyly into coming home with me. But I’m unsure what she’ll say or if it’s too soon to meet my family. I will ask her today, and try to keep my family out of the question.

Happy Endings Resort is a romance heaven, with so many different things to do there. I think over all the possibilities as I rinse off in the shower. I shrug into some faded jeans and a wife beater, and then find her asleep in my bed. The curve of her hip pushes out of the sheet: damn—I love her hips, they’re so alluring. When I make it around to the side she’s facing, I see her plump, pouty and soft lips. My eyes scan further until I reach her full tits—and I imagine what it would feel like to have my dick in between them. Jesus, I need to stop . . . To avoid waking her, I silently back away, and decide that buying takeout is a good idea.

I stop off at the small made-from-scratch café, hoping to find something simple. I know she’ll like a cheeseburger—who doesn’t? I order two burgers and some fries; and then quickly make my way back to her. When I return, she’s still sleeping so I wake her up with a French fry. I place it under her nose, until she breathes in, and then I double over in laughter when her eyes pop open. “You—brought me food? Thank god . . .” she sighs. I wear a grin, the entire time, as I watch her scarf down her meal. When she finishes everything, I take a deep breath and ask, “Will-you-come-home-with-me-for-summer-break?” I rush it out in one burst. I felt afraid that if I didn’t . . . I would never have the balls. I have to go home. I promised my mom I would. I just hope she says yes because I don’t want to spend the summer without her. “I— Are-you-sure? I mean . . . isn’t your family there?” She stutters as her eyes widen. “Yes, my family will be there—but we don’t have to stay there. I have my own separate trailer, which we’ll share. I will be leaving tomorrow, so just let me know. I won’t be back for two months.” Her shoulders slump as she stares and picks at her food. “All right . . . just let me sleep on it,” she whispers as she lifts one of my fries out of the bag and then nibbles on the tip.

Our night flew by, and we didn’t feel like going anywhere else. We spooned on the couch and watched chick flicks for most of the night. I held her close as we cuddled to all the rom-coms I’ve grown accustom to. “I love this movie; I can’t believe you’re watching it with me.” It’s just Ten Things I Hate About You. I’ve probably seen it a thousand times with my sisters. But I’ll never tell her that, though. I squeeze her tighter as she laughs at the part when the guy unknowingly falls for the girl.

Summer Break

“You got everything?” she questions, as I toss my bag in the back seat of the truck. “Everything but you,” I joke. Although I want her to come, I didn’t want to push her into anything she’s not ready for. I don’t want her to jump from his bed to mine. As we climb into the truck, I try to hide my sadness. The rejection dulls as I know seeing my family will lessen the ache from her refusal. We stop at her dorm, and I kiss her forehead before she steps down from my truck. It’s probably my imagination, but I see tears form at the corners of her eyes. Maybe she’ll change her mind? Once I’m at her side, she wraps her arms tight around me and holds on longer than usual. And just like that, any hope I had of her coming—quickly fades away. “Promise me you’ll think about it,” I beg her. “I Promise.”

While I drive home, every song that plays on the radio reminds me of her smile, laugh, and all the crazy shit I’ll do just to see her next to me. An hour later, and I pull up outside the resort’s gates. Before I left, I called my mom and mentioned I’d be home like I promised. Of course, my little twin little sisters wait for me at the entrance. Ruby and Riley are fraternal twins and the closest individuals—they take twinning to the extreme. They’re only thirteen, and constantly dress the same. Ruby and Riley are the type of twins who wish they were identical, and they are my biggest fans. “Hey, brats—wanna ride?” I laugh playfully. They think I’m the funniest guy alive, and I eat that shit up. As they climb in, they talk over each other and tell me about school. “Ruby likes a boy at school, but I tell her he’s no good. Oh, and I made honor roll this month,” Riley says.

“And Paula has a big’ol boyfriend—and he freaks me out. He’s a really big biker dude.” Ruby goes on-and-on about everything. My sister Paula is two years older. And none of the guys she’s ever dated deserved her. Especially, when they had her on motorcycles without a helmet.

I reach the driveway to my mom’s trailer, and the girls jump out of the back of the truck before I can put it in park. “Hey!” I yell at them. “My boy is finally home.” My mom screeches when she comes out of the trailer door. “No little lady?” she asks as her lips crease into a frown. “She wasn’t ready mom. Can’t force the pieces if they don’t fit.” Mom shakes her head, pulling me into a hug. “If the pieces don’t fit, trim those suckers ‘till they do, son.” She smiles. I told my mom all about Lyly. She believes Lyly will want to be with me and that she just needs time to get her head on straight.

“Where are all my sisters?” Mom drifts her gaze down to the driveway’s rocks and then looks back up. “Well, let’s see—Ellie went home with her boyfriend for the summer; Paula is off doing god knows what—she’s in love with a biker again. And Claire is around here somewhere. I keep telling her to stay away from Kiki, but she wants to be just like her. Bless her heart, she doesn’t know half of what she wants.”

Kiki is the resort slut, and yes, my first everything. My sister has been her groupie-follower for a few years now. They constantly go out and party. Kiki is a stripper now—not that it’s surprising. And now my sister wants to be a stripper too; they flaunt around in bikinis all summer long.

I let that flame burn out a long time ago, but Kiki still thinks she is lighter fluid to my flame. It’s not going to be exciting to deal with that. “Okay, mom—I’m gonna go to High Bar and see if Hunter is around.” I climb into my truck, and drive the short distance to the bar. When I park my truck, I see that the scenery is the same. I’ve had to spend my last few summer breaks without him, since I haven’t seen him in years. Last I heard, he finally fell for a city girl, which is great because he was starting to make a name for himself.

A familiar friend greets me as I walk through the bar’s doors. “Hey, Stixx—how’s life treating you?” Stixx is the main bartender at the bar and great company when you need to vent. She tells me about her old man, Cyber, and her life, just as her busy lunch rush starts. There’s no signs of Hunter, so I give up and head back to Mom’s.

“Well, hey there—stranger! Haven’t seen you in a while.” Kiki’s in a tiny bikini and leaning against my truck. “I don’t have time for your bullshit, Kiki. Move away from my truck.” I sound like an asshole. But after she slept with half of my friends—while we were dating—I now hate looking at her face. When it comes to her, there’s really no nice guy left. “Fine—asshole.” She stomps off, and it doesn’t faze me. I’m curious: if Claire isn’t with Kiki—then where in the hell is my sister?

Once I’m back at my mom’s, I see Claire sunbathing in lawn chair—and her bikini is worse than Kiki’s. I can feel a growl building in the back of my throat. Not only the swimsuit, but seeing her with Bear, the trailer park pothead, makes my blood boil. I get out of my truck, slamming the door shut behind me and stomp towards her. “Put some goddamn clothes on, Claire—for fuck’s sake!” She rolls her eyes and greets me. “Good to see you too, bro.” To avoid beating Bear’s ass, and march past them and into the house. Being back home for only one hour makes me regret leaving Lyly, and on impulse I text her.

Me: Come save me.

Lyly: Already? Lol.

Me: I miss you.

She never replies.

Chapter Eleven

Taking Chances

Lyly

As soon as Ethan left . . . I felt alone. I couldn’t go because I was too scared. What it would have meant if I would had gone—left me frozen with fright. I’ve been lying on my bed for hours, contemplating if I should go. And then, I get his message. I laugh out loud at it for a minute—until he sends another one:

I miss you.

Those three words, make all the pondering vanish. I belong with him, not here alone in bed. Nothing feels right with him there and me here—and I need him. I don’t answer back because I’m too busy packing for a two-month vacation. I love him; it may have taken this long to realize it, but nothing else compares to the feeling I get when I look into his eyes. Once my bags are full, I phone Tommy. “Hey, I know we don’t really know each other, and you probably think I’m a crazy bitch. But I need a favor, and I will do everything I can to repay you.” When I tell him I’m after Ethan, I hear him gasp in shock. “It’s about damn time. He’s practically been your stalker, Lyly. Even before you met him . . . I’ll be right over.” Tommy’s revelation and agreeing to help me excites me even more to see Ethan.

When Tommy arrives, I rush out of the building with my suitcases in tow. I watch as he pops the trunk to his bright-yellow Dodge Neon and then helps me with my luggage. After he closes it, I slide into the passenger seat and my mind is full of questions. “He chased me before I met him?” I can’t let that go, I need to know what he’s talking about. “He’s been crushing on you for a few years. He used to go to parties, just to see you from a far. I’ll never forget what he said, when you had that big fight with Jesse over that chick rubbing on him. He said this, and I quote, ‘What in fuck is she doing with that? Tommy, what are my chances of getting in the middle of them?’ It was the funniest shit ever. So, just remember: he’s never given up—he’s been waiting for a long time. Just don’t hurt him, okay? He’s a big softie.”

Wow. Ethan’s long-time crush has me in shock and mute; and I stay that way the entire trip. My thoughts are restless and I’m uncertain of what to say to Ethan. Pulling up outside the gate, my stomach is in knots. I’m so full of panic over having to tell him how I feel. Is love supposed to be like this—rushed and passionate? I know it sounds right, but how fast it’s happening makes me uneasy. We’ve known each other for a few weeks, and I’ve already fallen hard for him. And it’s a scary change.

Once we’re in Happy Endings Resort, I have Tommy drive me all the way to Ethan’s house, and freak out asking questions the whole way. He shakes his head and chuckles. “Ready? We’re here and boy is my aunt gonna be surprised see me. She’s not my biggest fan.” I see Ethan’s truck in the driveway. Good thing he’s here, at least. My palms sweat and my stomach knots up as I stir with excitement to see his face and meet his family. I open the car door, and step out on the gravel lot, moving as slow as possible. Then Tommy steps out with a huge grin when he sees his family. “Oh, Lord—are you here to see me, you little brat? Come give me a hug.” Says a woman who I believe is Ethan’s mom. Ethan is the male version of her: dark brown hair, youthful face, and the gun-metal blue eyes that I love gazing into. “And who do we have here? A girlfriend?” she asks, when she notices me.

“Nah, Aunt Emma—this is Lyly. Ethan’s girl.” Her eyes light up so bright as she half jogs towards me. “Oh, darling—he’s going to be so happy to see you. I knew you’d come. Let me get your bags.” She’s the sweetest mom ever, and I already feel a connection. Any and all worries instantly fade away. She takes off with my bags and leaves me in her dust, and I crack up following her. The trailer door swings open, and the inside has a cute sunflower theme. I step inside and turn my head towards the living room area, and find Ethan lying down with his arms resting over his face. To get his attention, I clear my throat as he shifts and opens his eyes. “Lyly? You came?” It’s my turn for my eyes to light up, and I dart towards him as if I didn’t see him just this morning. “I’m here to save you.” I say sweetly, verbally answering his text message after leaving him hanging half the day.

He grabs me into his arms and spins me around in one quick spin. He ignores everyone else, and pulls me back outside. “I didn’t think you were going to come; I even mentally prepared myself for the boring summer ahead of me. But this changes everything. Thank you for being here, Lyly. I promise you . . . you won’t regret it.” We get my bags from inside, talk to his mom for a few minutes, and then leave to his trailer. “This is it—home sweet home,” he laughs, pushing his trailer door open. The outside does no justice to the inside. It’s beautiful, the entire inside resembles a fancy cabin from a mountainous region.

“How did you make the inside so . . . beautiful? I mean granted it is a mobile home and they don’t make them this fancy, but from in here—you wouldn’t know it’s a trailer.” He snorts at my reaction. “Architect, remember? I built this thing from nothing.” Fascination hides behind my eyes at his amazing work.

After we settle in, he offers to show me around the resort. All night, we walk-and-walk while he shows me everything and introduces me to some of the locals. We stroll past a girl in a skimpy swimsuit—and she gives me a dirty look. “Who’s that?” I ask, rolling my eyes back at her. “Look at it this way—she’s my Jesse. Only I can’t stand her ass, and won’t talk to her . . . Ever. Again.” Oh, not what I wanted to hear, but it made sense. He squeezes my hand and walks me down by a lake. “Here’s another one of my favorite thinking spots.” I look out over the dark waters and see the sun setting. The perfect sunset to a perfect night; I just hope I don’t ruin it.

“Ethan . . . do you think if we went swimming after dark . . . the locals will get mad?” He gives me a mischievous grin. “No, probably not. No one really comes down here after dark, unless there’s a bonfire.” That’s all I needed. I slowly lift my shirt off the top of my head. “Oh, you were serious?” He wears a silly grin as he rushes out of his shirt. I giggle, diving in and answer as I resurface, “Yes, I’ve always wanted to skinny dip.” His reaction is priceless as he quickly removes his pants. We stand apart from each other, in nothing but underwear and wide grins that spread over our lips. We take each other in: him in his tight boxer briefs that barely contain him and me in my skimpy lace set. It’s as if we both became shy in the same moment. We gaze at each other as the sun fades away a little more. He takes his boxers off, and I stare in awe as he springs free. Nothing can compare to the excitement I feel staring at his arousal. He glides into the water and waits until he’s waist deep, and then fans his hand out. “Come here.” His voice electrifies me.

I slide my bra and panties off and then toss them onto the rocky shore. I’m waist deep as a soft breeze tickles at my bare chest. His eyes roam over me for a few seconds before he walks towards me. He clasps my hand and leads me into deeper water and then pulls me in closer. “This . . . what we have—it’s real. More real than anything I’ve ever felt. Don’t run because you’re scared of change, Lyly. Don’t fight me on this,” he whispers, leaning in to kiss me.

Our kiss is dreamy, perfect, or any other word there is to describe it. It tingles at every nerve in my body; my heart races as my worries vacate my thoughts. He picks me up, wrapping my legs around him. It’s our most intimate moment. I can feel his cock brush my entrance as my body aches for a release. He sucks and nips at my neck, and guides my nipple to his teeth. I moan at his tenderness as he roams his hands and mouth all over me. I take the next step, and reach between us to line him up with my entrance—until he thrusts deep inside of me.

My body begs for more as I tighten around him. He pants as he works in-and-out of me and bounces me up-and-down. My orgasm climbs as he fiercely works my body, mind, and soul. Nothing compares to this. His eyes lock with mine as he pumps faster . . . and . . . faster—until I feel his warmth spread through me. He’s out of breath as he lies his head in the crook of my neck and pants, “It’s been a long time . . . since I’ve done that. But with you . . . it was new and exotic. I’ve never felt this way . . . before.” I love him. I lazily smile from what he just made me feel, and whisper, “Take me to your bed.”

Chapter Twelve

Happy Endings

Ethan

“Oh-fuck-me-Ethan,” she whimpers beneath me. It’s been two weeks of non-stop sex with Lyly. Each time is better than the last. I thrust harder when she says my name—and I lift her ass off the bed to grind against me. Nothing is hotter than seeing her eyes roll in the back of her head, especially knowing I’m the one doing it to her. After an earth-shattering orgasm, I follow quickly behind and leave us gasping for air. I roll off her, onto my side, and then turn to face her.

“That was WOW,” she giggles. She tends to get heavy eyes and snickers when we finish. It’s so fucking sexy.

“I think I’m in love with you,” she blurts out. “I hope so, I’ve been busting my ass to make sure that happens,” I joke. “I think I love you too.” I kiss her forehead. “No, Ethan—you don’t understand . . . After school, I want to come back here with you. I want to be your girl—forever, not just this summer.” This girl is the best part of me, and I preach to her just how much I want it. “Lyly Denvers, I’ve wanted you before you even knew I existed. I promise to keep you safe and to protect you from any harm. I want to wake up to you for the rest of my life, just to see that smile and hear that laugh. I promise to always be everything and anything you need.” She touches my face, and through a wide grin she says, “You forgot my favorite thing.” I raise my eye brows and ask, “What’s that?”

“Promise, to always . . . hold me close.”

“I promise.”

THE END

Acknowledgements

I’d like to thank my family for all their undying support: Lisa Brooks, Chris Coggins, Laura Miller, and my sons, Cameron & Shaun.

I want to give a huge shout out to Annie Boylan my PA for being the best damn PA, #SB, and for going out of her way—daily—to make sure everything I need is taken care of. She is one of my favorite people in the world, and I would literally die without her (dead serious).

Thank you for editing and making my first sweet romance an amazing one, Krihstin Zink. It wouldn’t be as good without you! Thank you for having my back, being my #AuthorBestie, and believing in me.

To my street team and beta readers: thank you for loving and supporting me—every single day. You’re my biggest fans, and I don’t know what I’d do without your faith in me.

Also, I want to give a shout out to the blogs who signed up for cover reveal, the release blitz, and those who always share for me. You’re all amazing people, sorry I couldn’t name you all.

Thank you to all my author friends who’ve shown me support. You guys encourage me to reach for the sky, and I’m so grateful to have you to stand beside.

LAST . . . but never least, my fans. Thank you for reading, reviewing, and rooting for me. I love you all so much, each and every one of you. Thank you for standing by me and enjoying my imagination.

About the Author

Alisha Cole is a twenty-six-year old romance author. She released her debut novella, My Beautiful Nightmare, in September 2015. Alisha has lived in Smyrna, Delaware for the past six years with her twin sons and fiancé. She enjoys reading, dancing, spending time with her family, and spending endless nights writing her fans more stories. When Alisha is not writing or reading, she is on her Facebook—where she connects with her readers most.

Books by Alisha

My Beautiful Nightmare Book (#1)

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My Beautiful Lies (#2)

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My Beautiful Freedom (#3) Live Now

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