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After surviving being kidnapped by a pack of werewolves and having their loupe alpha bite her, Chelsea Moray has to learn how to deal with her brand new life as a werewolf. As a werewolf who can’t shift, who has a bevy of anxiety attacks, and who has to give up her educational dreams.

But she’s had Benjamin, a fellow tortured soul, who has been with her since the moment she was changed against her will.

She travels to Grayslake to make peace with the fact she’s dying. That the wolf inside her, and its inability to shift, is slowly poisoning her.

But it’s not over until it’s over. And life has a few more things in store for Chelsea.

Growl for Me: Grayslake, More than Mated Novella

Alice Bello

Copyright 2017

Kindle Edition

Edited by Stephanie T Lott

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chelsea

I vanished.

To my parents, I simply disappeared.

I stopped going to school, I moved out of my apartment and I didn’t tell them anything.

I wrote them a note and had Roxy send it from Cortez the day they gathered my meager belongings and brought them to me, here in Durango. It said not to worry, I was fine. I just needed a break.

I’m sure they’re worried, and I’m not fine.

But what else could I tell them? The me I used to be was dead. My future, the silly future I’d been dreaming of was over.

I grew up in Bar Nunn, Wyoming, a village a stone’s throw from Casper—the city, not the friendly ghost.

Mom and dad are still there, that’s why I’m not.

I can’t face them.

A few months ago I was a college student, waiting tables for extra money. Now I’m a freaking werewolf hiding out in the home of my best friend, who—since I had no idea she was a shifter, a puma—I didn’t actually know so well.

It hadn’t been her fault that a pack of crazed werewolves—god, it sounds so insane—had gone after her, and had used me as bait and a human shield.

And then that… that man bit me.

It hurt so much. It was like being burned alive from the inside.

I didn’t even notice the battle erupting all around me.

I just remembered a man’s voice and his hand holding mine while I…

Well, I pretty much screamed and writhed on the ground until I passed out.

Roxy’s family and friends called him Benny, but his name was Benjamin Wallace.

I liked the name, Benjamin.

I also liked that his last name was Wallace, like William Wallace of the Scottish Wars of Independence. My name is Chelsea Moray. Andrew Moray joined forces with Wallace to defeat the English armies of King Edward.

At least for a while.

But if you watched Braveheart you know it didn’t end well for either of them.

I’m a history major… well, at least I was.

Now I don’t know what I am, or who—but I do have new and exciting paranoia and panic attacks.

I’d tried waitressing again with Roxy and her sister, Stormy at their family’s bar and grille, but I didn’t last ten minutes before those newly found panic attacks sent me running into the back, locking myself in a broom closet, and then begging for Benjamin to come take me back to the house.

And that’s how I thought of the Ironclouds’ house.

As a house, not my home.

It was warm and safe feeling, but even though they were all super nice to me, it was just a house

I also had another problem.

I’ve been a shifter for three months now, and I haven’t shifted.

They said I would probably change into my wolf shortly after I woke up: that didn’t happen.

Then they said I’d shift on the full moon two weeks later: nada.

Benjamin and Roxy both tried to help me into my change on each of the three full moons since I was bitten, and besides some gruesome pain and agony, I didn’t even grow extra body hair.

I hated it.

I hated myself.

I’d been pretty worthless as I was before getting bitten—did I really think I could find a job with a degree in English History? But now, with a crazed monster locked up inside me, clawing me to shreds to get out, I couldn’t see much of a future for myself.

That’s why I needed to leave.

I told Roxy and her family it was because I thought I could learn to control my animal and get better—my skin was slowly turning gray on me, a little bit more mottled every day.

But truthfully, I wanted to go because I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to make it.

No, I’m not talking about killing myself; though I have thought it over  some.

I’m saying that I don’t think my animal is like Roxy’s or Stormy’s or Benjamin’s. I think it was made defective.

The monster who bit me was defective, and I’ve always felt out of phase with… well, everything. So it makes a sort of sense that my wolf was defective too.

If she wasn’t screwed up I would have shifted by now.

No one had ever seen or heard of a shifter not having shifted.

Stormy’s mate hadn’t shifted in nine years because he’d lost all control and slaughtered the loupes that had murdered his parents. For a long time he’d lived in fear that if he let his bear free again he would lose himself, and become like the ravening monsters that had taken away his parents.

But he’d shifted into his bear a few times before that.

Stormy even tried using her medicine woman magic on me. She did cleansing rituals, had me attend a sweat, even had me fast and then lay in the middle of a medicine wheel her grandmother had built half a century ago.

But in the end, I just got dehydrated and spent the next day in bed with a big jug of orange Gatorade.

The problem had been I really had nowhere else to go.

I couldn’t face my parents—I was chicken—and even if I wasn’t, I couldn’t trust my wolf wouldn’t choose that moment to come out.

I had nightmares that I went to see them, and the moment they hugged me I started to change…

The dreams were bloody and horrifying, and I awoke gasping for breath and trembling.

I had to protect my family from that at all costs.

Then Maddox offered me the use of his grandmother’s house just outside a little town on the other side of the country called Grayslake. There was even an herb shop in town I could manage when I felt I could handle it.

The idea intrigued me, but if I couldn’t wait tables, how could I run a shop?

But going away, getting so far away—it was an answer to my prayers.

Whether I live or died, at least no one I cared about would have to see it or be hurt by it.

So I packed my bags, spent part of my life savings on a solid little 1997 Toyota Camry, and said my goodbyes.

Benjamin, to my distress, had disappeared in a puff of smoke when he heard I was leaving, so I didn’t get to tell him goodbye.

I would miss him most of all.

He was the rock that held me to the earth. Without him I would have perished, the fear and self-loathing would have been too much to bear.

The drive took nearly two weeks. I had to stop a few times and sleep, barricaded in cheap motels—it’s surprising how much movable furniture can be wedged against a motel room door.

But I did finally make it, passing the Welcome to Grayslake, population 5042 sign, and then once in town seeing the sign for Stone Herbs hanging in front of its storefront. I followed the hand-drawn map Maddox had made for me, driving out the twisting country roads until I was there.

House 430 on Rt. 37.

I parked in the gravel driveway and sat there for a little while, listening to the wind blow through the trees, scenting the air—that still freaked me out, how well I could smell and see and hear now. My glasses were a thing of the past. The bad thing was I could smell everything, but I didn’t know what I was smelling.

I got out of the car, grabbed one of my bags and walked up to the house.

It was stone, and tall, and made me think of an old English country house. Kind of Victorian, fashioned from weathered red brick, but the lines of the building were still crisp and severe. The wooden window settings and the front door were a glossy black, the glass leaded and imperfect. The cornices at the eves of the roof were painted the same black.

Maybe a witch lived here…

That thought skittered through my mind and I pushed it aside.

Witches…

Ridiculous.

But I was a werewolf, and there were werebears and werepumas and weregorillas and werebison… Roxy’s sister was a medicine woman for her tribe.

I couldn’t believe I hadn’t asked Roxy about witches.

A chill ran up my back.

Vampires.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph… tell me there weren’t really vampires.

Okay, okay…

Enough!

I’d just gotten here and already I was freaking out about movie monsters.

Am I a movie monster now?

I gripped my bag harder and headed for that glossy black door, the key to it in my hand.

My shaking hand.

Breathe…

Count to ten.

Think about every number.

Think of nothing but those numbers.

One…

Two…

Three vampires…

Four werewolves…

Five haunted houses…

Gaaah!

I shoved the key in the lock, turned the doorknob and pushed until the darn door sprung open with a low, metallic whine.

Oh!

Dust motes danced through the sunbeams coming in through the various windows in the foyer, leading up the staircase to the second floor.

It smelled musty, and a little of blood.

Okay, I could smell blood. Gross…

I walked into the front room and saw more light and dust waltzing through the air.

The woodwork was dark, the ceilings impossibly high, and the walls were wallpapered in a gray and silver striped pattern that I saw echoed in the two sitting chairs that bookended the sitting area. The sofa was a splash of color, sky blue silk with white and blue throw pillows.

It was beautiful, and yet cluttered enough to look lived in.

That was if everything hadn’t been covered in a fine layer of dust.

Haunted house…

I went to the kitchen and turned on the faucet. A few shuddering gasps later and murky brown water sputtered out, more gasps and jerks, and then the water started coming out steadier, and bit by bit clearer.

I left the tap on while I went out through the kitchen, opening the door to the pantry—it had a gorgeous cut glass doorknob—and then unlocked the back door.

I opened it and left it open.

I opened some of the windows too, to air the place out.

The kitchen window over the sink was tough, but my new shifter strength was really coming in handy.

I didn’t think I’d meet a jar I couldn’t open again.

I opened a window in the living room too.

In the dining room, there was one of those picture windows you can sit in. I unlocked it and pulled it up. It was the kind that had weights on ropes to help hold them open, and you could see the ropes. It opened so easily, and I stood there as the sweet afternoon breeze came through the window.

This might be my new favorite place.

My spot.

I could just see myself reading one of my history texts here.

I envisioned a little dog curled up at my feet.

I’d always wanted a little dog.

Could I have a dog now that I was a werewolf?

Would the poor thing die of fright just at the sight of me?

I walked up the stairs and looked through the bedroom—didn’t know which one I’d stake claim to until I saw a gentle green light filtering out of a doorway at the end of the hall. The walls were painted a mint green that made me think of the rooms of a house in the Bahamas I saw once on TV.

This was it.

There was a full sized bed and a dresser, and a comfy looking chair by the window with a reading lamp standing just behind it.

Okay, bedroom check.

I scoped out the bathroom.

The toilet was a little old looking, and the step in shower was an unattractive glass box, but I squealed with joy when I saw a claw-footed tub. Cream colored porcelain on the inside, lacquered dark blue on the outside. And black lacquered clawed feet that matched the wood outside.

I flicked on the overhead light and it came to life.

Maddox had said he’d called to get all the utilities turned back on.

He’d said the water heater was electric, but to run the cold water for a while before trying the hot. After I’d seen the brown water, I understood.

I opened all the windows that would open upstairs: all but the bathroom window. The sucker wouldn’t budge. It was one of those foam bubble glassed numbers installed for privacy. It had dots of faded color all over it as if someone had tinted the bubbles by hand at some point.

I really liked the window, but you needed air in a bathroom.

I’d give it another try later.

I traipsed downstairs and out to the car, grabbing my other bag and one of the lighter boxes.

After about five trips I had all my belongings inside the house.

I took my second bag upstairs and pulled out the bed linens I’d bought. I’d gotten one set in full, one in queen and one in single size.

Single beds always made me feel crowded. Queen sized beds made me feel lonely.

So I was glad to find the bed I would sleep in was a full.

I shook my head as I looked at my newly made bed.

I sounded like Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

I turned off the upstairs faucet, and then the downstairs, and then turned on the hot. After a minute the cloudy water turned hot. I let it run while I unpacked my clothes into the empty dresser.

The room smelled faintly of licorice and chamomile tea… I think.

Weird…

I thought about starting on the cleaning—I’d brought a mop and pail, a broom and various dusting apparatuses.

But my stomach growled.

Before I was bitten I ate like a bird: a nibble here, a donut-hole there—and gummy bears.

But now I ate like…

A ravening wolf?

I closed my eyes on that thought and shuddered.

Meat.

I really liked meat. And carbs. I couldn’t get enough of those.

And yet I’d lost ten pounds.

I think part of it was I felt self-conscious about eating so much.

And part of it was I felt like… like an animal.

Every time I sank my teeth into meat I felt a deep, visceral thrill.

I’d never felt that before about anything.

I hated it.

I turned off the water, grabbed my purse and my car keys and got back in my car.  I backed out of my new driveway and head back into town.

Time to meet some of the townsfolk.

Hope they wouldn’t realize I was a wolf in geek-girl clothing.

Chapter 2

I drove past Jerry’s Gas Station, past a hair salon and an auto parts store too.

Two more blocks and I saw the place I’d passed on the way through town.

Carly’s Burgers.

My stomach growled even fiercer when I rolled into the parking lot. I smelled the aroma of seared beef patties, and fried cheese sticks and French fries and the cool creaminess of chocolate milkshakes.

Yesyesyesyesyes!

I pushed in through the front door and waited a moment for my eyes to adjust to the indoor lighting.

The place was packed—a sure sign the food was good.

I smelled things though, things that pricked at me like tiny electrical shocks.

But, like I said, I could smell a lot of things—I just didn’t know what I was smelling.

I slid into an empty seat at the counter and waited for the waitress cashing someone out to turn and notice me. She was a blue-eyed blonde, and she swung her hips as she came over to me.

Her nametag read Lauren in bright, looping cursive. There were a sticker bumblebee and a pink daisy on there too.

“Hi there, darlin’! What can I get you to drink?”

I grabbed the menu stuck in the condiment holder and paged until I found the beverage list.

“Can I have a root beer and a chocolate shake?”

“Sure thing, darlin’. I’ll have that in two shakes.”

Lauren strode off to the back of the restaurant and disappeared.

I settled down and studied the menu.

Burgers, ribs, pulled pork, fish, chicken…

I’d feel like a pig if I ordered one of each.

Then I saw the perfect compromise.

The Hungry Bear Platter: a double bacon cheeseburger, a half rack of ribs, some chicken fries and your choice of fries or cheese sticks.

Ding, ding, ding…

I had a winner.

Lauren came out of the back with my drinks in hand and set them down in front of me. She brushed a lock of her blond tresses behind her ear and pulled out an order pad.

“So what can I get for you today?”

“I’ll have The Hungry Bear Platter.”

“Will do. What would you like on your burger?”

“Ummm… pickles, ketchup, mayo, and mustard.”

“Cheddar okay?”

“Do you have Swiss?”

She gave me an appraising glance. “Sure do. That comes with a half rack of ribs. Sweet or spicy?”

“Sweet.”

“Dipping sauce for the chicken fries?”

“BBQ and ranch, please.”

She nodded. “Fries or cheese sticks—wait, let me guess… Cheese sticks, right?”

I felt myself blush. “Yeah…” I was blushing because I was about to ask to get both.

Becoming a shifter had turned me into such a hog.

“That’ll be about ten minutes… so don’t eat the counter or any of the other customers, okay?” She winked.

I nodded and felt my eyes get big.

That was a weird thing to say.

She went off to place my order and I unwrapped my straw and started sipping my chocolate milkshake.

About three sips in I realized something…

I wasn’t freaking out.

That was strange.

Every time I’d left Roxy’s family house in the last three months I’d started having an anxiety attack.

But…

Well, this place smelled nothing like Colorado.

Colorado was dry most of the year, and the scent of pine pervaded everything—that and the smell of snow in the winter.

This place smelled like flowers, and moss and running water.

I shivered as another of those prickly scents wafted past me.

I shook it off, but then that scent clicked something in my head.

Bear…

I smelled a bear.

I gulped.

There was a shifter here.

I glanced to my right, but couldn’t see anything but a sea of people milling around the front of the restaurant.

Then I turned my head to my left and caught sight of a tall, broad-shouldered man in a police uniform.

Shoot…

And when I breathed in I could smell the werebear rolling off him.

I gulped and looked down at my hands.

Lauren came back out and walked up to the werebear policeman.

“Hey there, Ty. What can I do for you?”

She didn’t smell like a shifter. Did she know the man was a shifter?

A freaking bear…

And I’m a wolf. Why was I so jumpy?

Because shifters were dangerous.

This I knew for a fact.

I was dangerous.

“I’m just here to relay a message from my brother. He’s gotta take a prisoner to Taggart Parish.”

She gave him the eye. “I thought you liked doing that, Mr. Control-Freak Sheriff.”

He chuckled. “It was either that or babysitting a dozen cubs at the clan house tonight.”

Cubs?

Clan house?

A clan was a pack.

Dear god…

Lauren rolled her eyes. “My man would rather chew off his own foot than do kiddy duty.”

I tried not to hyperventilate.

Breathe… Breathe… Breathe… Breathe…

I just couldn’t believe I was sitting beside a werebear.

I couldn’t believe I was in the middle of a mother-fluffing shifter town that had a clan.

A clan!

I was about to slink out of my seat and try to make it to the door undetected when a man’s voice bellowed, “Lauren… order up!”

The curvy blonde pointed at me and said, “That’s you, darlin’.”

I gulped.

The werebear policeman watched Lauren go over and pick my food up from the order window and bring it over to me.

The plate was enormous…

My stomach growled so loud I’m sure everyone in the restaurant could hear it.

I just wanted to die.

I wanted to get up and run.

I needed to get out of here.

Lauren smiled. “Can I get you anything else, honey?”

There was enough food for a table of Vikings…

I shook my head. “No, thank you.”

“Enjoy, then.” And she was off, moving through the restaurant like a waitress locomotive.

I looked at my food and then glanced over at the werebear policeman who was still standing there beside me.

Why was he still standing there?

And then he moved over and sat down at the counter, in the seat right beside me!

Oh god, oh god, oh god…

He didn’t look at me, just kept his eyes forward.

“You better start eating; your food will get cold.”

I didn’t think I could eat. I was so thoroughly freaked out.

He turned his head and looked at me. His brown hair made his brown eyes all the darker, and his square jaw made him intimidating to behold.

“I’m Ty Abrams. I’m the sheriff around here and the clan alpha.”

Alpha?

“What does that mean?” I choked out. “What’s an alpha?”

He took a deep breath and sighed, leaning back in his seat. “It’s a big pain.”

I chuckled in spite of myself.

“Pretty much it means I’m in charge of all the shifters in my territory. I’m also responsible for them, which can be…”

“A pain?” Yikes… That just slipped out.

“I was going to say it can be a challenge.”

Shut up Chelsea, shut up!

“One of the rules is that if you come into a clan or pack’s territory, you need to ask permission to stay from the alpha.” He gave me a sly glance. “So I thought, being the alpha, and you being a shifter new to the area—and you probably don’t know the rules—that I’d just get this part over.”

He knew I was a shifter…

Of course, he did. He was a shifter and could smell my… my shifterness.

I suddenly noticed he hadn’t said anything else.

I looked at him, and he was staring at me expectantly.

Oh, yeah…

“So, Mr. Alpha werebear Sheriff—”

“You can call me Ty.”

“—I’m… I am new to all this, and you’re scary as all get out, and I had no idea there were any shifters here—not to mention a pack… a clan. I’ll be gone from here as soon as I can pack my stuff up again and hit the road.”

He held up his hands, “Wait… I didn’t mean you needed to leave. I was informing on shifter etiquette.”

I bit my lip and tried not to fall out of my seat and run for the door.

“I’m fine with you staying. Stay as long as you like. Just…” he leaned in and gave me a sniff. “Just quit being so scared. You reek of fear, and that doesn’t help anything when you’re dealing with shifters. Okay?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

He shifted in his seat and folded his hands on the counter in front of him. “I didn’t mean to scare you, so I’m sorry about that. Where are you staying?”

I fidgeted, but my voice came out a lot steadier than I felt. “A friend of mine is letting me stay at his grandmother’s old place. Maddox Stone.”

Ty smiled and gave a little laugh. “That man is a handful… him and his brothers, and his grandma. She was a witch, you know?”

I felt my eyes bug out again. Aha! I knew it!

He rocked back and was suddenly just standing over me. “What’s your name?”

I knew I couldn’t lie. Shifters could hear the lie.

“Chelsea. Chelsea Moray.”

He held out his hand. “Good to meet you, Chelsea Moray. I’m Ty Abrams, as I said, and if you need anything while you’re in town, you can find me either at the police department or at the Clan house.”

I forced myself to take his hand and to shake it.

“Thank you,” I said. I had manners. My mama would have slapped me in the head if I hadn’t said it.

A moment later the werebear Alpha Sheriff sauntered out the door and I was left sitting by myself again, an enormous plate of food in front of me.

That was a heck of a thing…

I almost just stood up and walked out. But just then my stomach growled again, and there was a spasm-like cramping in my abdomen.

I needed to eat, and I was going to pay for the food whether I ate it or not. I’d ordered it; I was going to pay for it.

So I took another sip of my milkshake, unfastened the rolled silverware from the paper napkin and said a little prayer.

Dear God, please bless this food and those who grew it, cooked it, and served it to me. And please don’t let me get eaten by any of them either.

Amen.

So I took hold of the double bacon cheeseburger and took a big, juicy… delicious bite.

Yum.

###

After I finished my meal—lordy, was I hungry—I paid my check, left Lauren a huge tip, and then took off out of the place before any other shifters wanted to weigh in on me being here.

I thought I’d be wound up, but as soon as I walked out into the hot sun and took a deep breath, I felt every fiber in my being relax.

I about fell over.

In one afternoon I’d moved into my new temporary home, found out I was in a shifter town and met the clan alpha.

And I hadn’t passed out or spazzed out.

Yay me!

I unlocked my car, plopped down behind the wheel and let my head fall back.

The car was broiling hot, but just for a moment, the heat felt good, loosening my tired muscles.

Being tense was more of a workout than a Zumba class.

I put the key in the ignition, rolled down the windows to let in some air, and then pulled out my cell phone.  I’d had to get a new phone. For one thing, those werewolves that kidnapped me broke my old one. And two, I needed a new number that my parents didn’t know.

I’m a crappy daughter, I know.

I tapped through my contacts—there was just Roxy and Stormy, and Benjamin… and my parents’ number—and clicked on Roxy’s number.

It rang three times before she answered.

“What’s up, buttercup?”

She had always seemed upbeat and funny, but it wasn’t until she met her now mate, Wade, that she’d become completely happy.

And obnoxious.

“You didn’t tell me!” Whoa, that just came right out.

She laughed. I heard her, a definite snicker.

“What didn’t I tell you?”

“You guys sent me to a shifter town!” I felt a twinge. I was yelling into my phone, with the windows of my car rolled down. “How could you do that?”

“I didn’t tell you?” She was really making a mockery of sounding innocent. “Could’ve sworn I did… hey, Wade! Didn’t I tell Chelsea she might run into shifters down there in Grayslake?”

I bit the inside of my cheek. If Roxy had been here I’d… well, I would probably stomp my feet and make geeky hand gestures.

“You sent me to a clan town,” I ground out.

“Clan?”

I took a slow, deep breath.

Steady…

“A clan. You know… a pack. The town is crawling with shifters!”

“You don’t say… honey, not there. To the left… that’s good.”

What were they doing?

I felt my face blush.

I didn’t want to know.

“You know darn well and good what I’m talking about!” I practically hissed. “The sheriff knows Maddox and his whole family.” And that Maddox’s grandmother was a witch.

She made a little laughing sound and then sighed. “Yeah, I know. But I think you’ll do better somewhere with shifters than somewhere with just humans.”

I sat there, stewing in my impotent rage. There wasn’t anything else I could think of to yell at her about.

“Just give it some time. The place may grow on you.”

I suddenly had this overwhelming need to see Benjamin.

The feeling was overwhelming.

I missed him.

From the moment I entered into this scary, violent world, he’d been by my side.

When I was down he brought me my favorite foods. When I was scared he sat in my room until I wasn’t scared anymore.

And when I needed him to he held my hand and listened to me rant about how much I missed my parents… and my old life.

Before I’d become a monster.

“See anyone you know down there?” Roxy asked.

I blinked. “What?”

“Oh, honey… that’s totally the wrong place to shove that thing!”

I really hoped they were moving furniture.

The possibility that I was talking to my friend while she and her man were…

I was ready to die from shame.

“Sorry, sweetie. My husband needs a hand.”—No… —“Talk to you soon.”

And she hung up on me.

Dagnabbit…

I looked at my cell phone in disgust.

What did she say about seeing someone I knew down here? 

My mind cued up Benjamin’s face.

Those light blue eyes, his shoulder-length black hair.

And his smile…

I loved his smile.

Enough of this!

I was tired and needed to go home, curl up in my new bed and get some much-needed sleep.

But I hadn’t slept well since I’d been bitten.

I didn’t think that a new bed in a new town would help that.

But maybe…

###

The sun was still out when I took a shower, pulled on an oversized t-shirt, and crawled into bed.

It was the softest mattress I’d ever lain on: simply sumptuous and decadent.

I curled up, pulling my sheet around me. No matter how hot it was outside, I always needed a sheet or blanket.

There wasn’t air conditioning, but the air coming through the window was gentle and cool.

I pressed my face to the cool pillow, breathed in the new of the pillowcase and…

Chapter 3

I awoke to darkness and the slamming of a car door.

I sat up in bed and listened. Just some crickets and the wind blowing through the trees.

Maybe I’d just dreamed the car door slamming.

And then I heard footsteps crunching in the gravel of the driveway.

Oh my god…

They were here for me.

I was so scared I couldn’t even move. I just sat there on the bed, twisting my hands in the sheet.

They were back…

But they were dead.

All those men who had torn me out of my life and dragged me to Roxy’s family home were dead.

Benjamin had shown me their graves.

The sound of the footsteps changed. He was on the porch.

The steps stopped for a few beats.

Please go away. Please, please, please go away.

And as if in answer, whoever it was walked back down the porch steps and down the gravel driveway, further and further, until a car door opened and then closed, a truck engine roared to life, and it crept back down the driveway.

The motor roared again once the truck started down the road, slowly disappearing as it drove out of earshot.

After a while, my body relaxed again.

When I could move again I got out of bed, crept down the stairs without turning on the lights, and tiptoed to the front door.

I peered through the strange, wavy glass that let me see a distorted version of the outside world. I didn’t see anyone on the porch.

After a few minutes of listening and watching, I decided to open the door.

This was so not the thing to do.

I needed to drag the couch and the rest of the living room furniture over and barricade the door. Not unlock and open it.

I hadn’t dreamed it. Someone had been out there.

Maybe it had been the sheriff.

Maybe it was someone else, someone that wanted to hurt me.

I looked over to my right and saw an empty coat-rack. Sitting beside that was an umbrella holder.

Sticking out of the umbrella holder was, inexplicably, a baseball bat.

Hmmm…

I reached over, took the bat in hand—it made me feel better immediately—and reached for the doorknob.

The door made a shuddering metallic noise again as I pulled it open.

Not to self: oil the door.

I held the bat up, ready to swing at anything that jumped out at me, and took a step forward.

My foot hit something, and I jumped back and said a very, very bad word, squinting at the package that sat on the porch.

“For crying out loud.”

I stepped forward, over the package and onto the porch, baseball bat held high and ready to rip.

I looked to the left, to the right, ahead, listening to the night sounds—pretty much the wind and crickets again.

Okay, no one was out here.

I stepped back toward the door, grabbed the package, jumped inside and slammed the door shut again, throwing the locks.

I leaned against the door, panting, my heart thudding in my chest.

And that’s when his scent hit me.

Benjamin.

###

I lay in bed—the package unopened—my hand flat on the mattress and my fingers barely brushing the brown paper wrapping.

Benjamin was here.

I smiled to myself.

That’s what Roxy had meant when she’d asked if I’d seen anyone I knew.

For some reason, I didn’t want to open the package yet.

I just wanted to lie here and touch it.

What if it was something I’d left behind in Durango and he’d driven all the way here to return it to me…

And he wasn’t coming back.

Oh, that would be bad.

I grabbed a pillow and held it over my face, screaming into it.

That would be terrible.

And a total load of crap, forgive my French.

I knew Benjamin. He’d be back to see me.

Or maybe I didn’t know him at all.

All those times he’d brought me food, or some flowers to brighten my room—Roxy’s mother’s room on loan. Or when he’d rent a DVD and we’d watch it.

He’d weaseled out of me that I was obsessed with English culture, and he sought out movies he thought I’d like.

I smiled the first time he’d done it, bringing Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Not my kind of movie, but we did have a few good laughs over it.

When the sun rose and my new room was flooded in dewy, lovely light, I sat up, gently pulled the tape securing the brown paper and unwrapped the package.

More of his scent wafted out, to my nose’s utter delight.

Along with his scent was the aroma of an old book.

I loved books and would know the smell of aged paper anywhere.

I pulled out some wadded up newspaper and found exactly that, an old, moldering book, taking up the bottom of the box.

It was one of Winston Churchill’s many books, and one I had not gotten to reading yet.

I padded downstairs, took the long way to the kitchen through the dining room, leaving my new book on that great reading nook in the window, and then back toward the kitchen.

I pulled my new el-cheapo coffee maker from one of the unpacked boxes and went to work brewing some caffeine.

About the time the pot was done I heard the engine from last night growling as it got closer and closer, and then slowed as it rolled into my driveway.

I smiled as I poured two cups, leaving mine black, and putting a little cream in his.

Benjamin was sitting on the porch steps when I came out the front door, so I sat down beside him and handed him his cup.

Our fingers touched as he took the coffee, and I felt a little thrill surge through me I hadn’t felt before.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, looking out at my crappy little Toyota—that was dwarfed by the hulking, shiny new red Toyota truck.

Ha… funny.

It looked like a big bad Toyota wolf bearing down on my little Toyota rabbit.

“You took off before I could find your going away present, so…” He just left it out there as he took a sip of his coffee.

“I already have a copy of that one, but thank you.”

He let out a slow breath. “Liar.”

That I was.

“So why are you really here? The U.S. Postal Service passes this way every day.”

I knew exactly why he’d come.

“For you,” he said right before I could think it.

A thrill went through me, making my heart thump harder.

But I couldn’t be happy about it.

What good was I to him?

We were both broken.

He’d been broken by some nasty magic boogeyman that had possessed him and made him kill all his friends and do all sorts of horrible things to Roxy and her family.

And even though I knew and he knew that he’d literally had nothing to do with all that, he still remembered doing it. I knew he didn’t sleep much either, the memories of those atrocities making his dreams into horrors too terrible to bear.

But he’d helped me. He’d nursed me back to relative health.

Too bad I couldn’t shift.

And that meant I was going to die sooner than later.

Either because I couldn’t shift and it would slowly poison me, or I’d finally shift and my wolf would be a crazed killer and I’d have to be put down.

I felt a shiver thinking about Ty, the werebear sheriff, and clan alpha.

Would he be the one to kill me if that happened?

Was that why Maddox and Roxy had sent me here?

“You smell miserable,” he said, setting his coffee down beside him on the porch.

“What?” I licked my lips and tried to pull his words out of the cacophony of thoughts in my head.

They wouldn’t come.

“I said you smell miserable.” He turned and looked at me, his eyes so light and blue in the morning light. “You’re not happy to see me.”

No…

I shook my head.

“I’m happy to see you.” I bit my lips.

Don’t say it.

“I’ve never been so glad to see someone in my life.”

Benjamin let out a happy breath, a smile pulling at his lips.

I’d never really thought of his lips, but now, sitting here beside him… they were all I could think about.

“Good,” he said and nodded his head one time. “So what needs to be done?”

“Nothing,” I insisted.

He gave me a wide-eyed look, and then stood up and started toward the front door. “I’ll just have a look around—”

“Benjamin?”

“—and if there’s something that needs to be fixed, I’ll go to town and get what you need.”

I stood up and followed him, pointing my finger at him when he stopped and grabbed my finger in his, and looked me in the eye.

We stood there for a few heart-stopping moments, his eyes glowing blue and smoldering as he gazed right into my very soul.

Oh, god… that was corny.

I looked away and tried not to smile before looking back at him.

“I promised Maddox I’d check the house out,” Benjamin blurted out.

Oh…

He shrugged. “He just wants to make sure nothing’s leaking, ready to burst, catch on fire, or explode.”

I hadn’t even thought of that.

Old house, old wiring, pipes and… thankfully there wasn’t any gas going through the house, that I knew of. The water heater was electric.

I followed him to the kitchen where he turned on both spigots, pulled open the cabinet under the sink, and oh-so-gracefully slid down onto the floor and looked up at the plumbing.

He pulled out his keys and tapped and scraped on the pipes.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” I asked.

Not that I wasn’t happy to see him… but, really. Did he know what he was looking at?

“I used to build houses, a long time ago, so yeah. I’m fluent in home maintenance.”

Oh…

More I didn’t know about the man.

He worked with Roxy’s brother, Bly, out in the mountains felling trees for a lumber mill.

A long time ago…

Now that I think about it, Roxy had said aging slowed down for shifters.

Not stopped, but slowed down.

The man looking around under my sink could be a hundred years old.

A moment later he came up from under the sink, brushed his hands off, grabbed a small LED flashlight from his pocket and went straight to a door I hadn’t even noticed yet.

A turn of a knob and a spooky creaking of hinges, and he disappeared down a flight of stairs to the basement.

I hesitated, not really wanting to go down into whatever was down there, but I felt like I wanted—no, I felt like I needed to be down there with him.

To be with him.

Cue the touching, romantic movie soundtrack.

And then grit your teeth when that soundtrack turned to horror flick cat-screech violins and creepy sound effects.

I huffed out a breath and headed on down the stairs behind him.

He was studying some pipes up near the ceiling, and then went over and started looking through a metal electrical box.

I was surprised how competent he seemed as he checked the circuit breakers, and then traveled the entire perimeter of the basement, moving the light he held up and down the walls and stopping to look at where the walls met the flooring.

“This cellar was really well built,” he said, pulling the light up and taking a closer look at the wood of the steps leading up to the first floor. “The foundation is stronger than if it was new.”

He sniffed the wood of the stairs, his eyes closed as he took in its scent.

He looked at me and smiled. “No termites.”

“You can smell termites?”

“Uh-huh.” He moved around me, careful not to touch me, but close enough I could feel the heat emanating from his body.

I swallowed as I turned to watch him as he headed back up the stairs to the kitchen.

I can’t believe I just thought about his body.

I had to be out of my mind.

###

Benjamin went through the house, checking light switches, electrical outlets, the upstairs plumbing—he even got that stuck window in the bathroom to open using a putty knife he had in his truck.

Not only did the air lighten the moment he opened the thing, but I was struck by how beautiful the view was from that window.

And to my surprise, the window didn’t open from the bottom. It opened from the top.

Who knew?

The backyard trailed off into a densely wooded area. The wind was still whipping up the leaves and branches, and the breeze flowing into the house smelled of it. It was lovely.

I smiled. Something about that moment, standing beside Benjamin, looking out that window. It just seemed…

I shook my head and walked out into the hallway.

Get a grip!

This wasn’t some silly paranormal rom-com. This was my life… and my life was literally swirling toward the drain of life.

I put my hand over my mouth. I couldn’t start this with Benjamin… I couldn’t start anything. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us. When I pulled my hand away I could see that my skin was even grayer than it had been the day before.

My life wasn’t going to be a long and happy one. It was going to be short and painful. And Benjamin had been through enough pain.

Wolves can be sneaky, though. Benjamin was just abruptly standing beside me—see, sneaky. He tilted his head and joined me staring at my hand.

“Next time you’re in town,” he said gravely, “you might want to get a manicure.”

I elbowed him in the ribs and tried not to smile. Benjamin could always make me smile.

“I can do my own nails,” I said.

“Can you?” he asked, rolling his beautiful blue eyes up as if searching the inside of his skull for the answer. And then those eyes shot to me. “Yes… but you never do.”

Did he really not see the gray seeping into my flesh? Could anyone really not see it?

I walked away from him, down the hallway. And that’s when I saw a duffle-bag sitting atop the bed in the room at the end of the hall.

I stopped and had two distinct and opposite feelings flood through me.

One was a thrill so strong I thought I was going to yelp from the mere force of it.

Benjamin was going to be sleeping just down the hall from me.

And the other was a deep pang. And it was cold and sour.

It was the dread of knowing nothing—absolutely nothing—was ever going to happen between me and Benjamin.

“I can always stay at the hotel in town,” Benjamin said from right behind me. He always seemed to know what I was thinking. No, he seemed to always know what I was feeling.

“No,” I shook my head. “That would be silly. You’ve come all this way… and there are like four bedrooms here.”

There was a long pause. I think Benjamin was giving me time to reconsider. After a moment he said, “That’s why I took the room on the end. That way we won’t be running into each other.”

Yes, no running into each other.

But there was only one bathroom.  

Okay…

I needed to get out of there.

But we were out in the middle of nowhere.

I have a car.

“I’m going to town,” I said.

“I’ll drive you,” he said right back and started to walk down the stairs.

Wait! What just happened?

“No, that’s okay. I can drive myself,” I said, scrambling to catch up.

He was already at the front door by the time I’d caught up.

I was trying to get away from him, to have time and space enough to think.

And that wasn’t going to work if he tagged along.

He pulled his keys out and pushed on through the front door.

Wait! Stop!

Argh!

I reached out and grabbed his arm.

Time sort of stopped. Well, Benjamin stopped. And I felt that thrill thing again, a sudden spike in all my senses, probably in adrenalin too. And his arm was so warm. His flesh was soft and the muscles underneath…

Oh god…

He looked back at me and it was as if I was being consumed by something. A spell? The beginnings of spontaneous combustion?

But the warmth building in my chest was kind of a spoiler to what it really was.

I let go of his arm, stamped down on the word that was about to pop into my mind in bold though dreamy neon, and took a really big breath.

“I need to take a drive,” I said, my eyes closed tight. I felt time tick by as if there was a grandfather clock sitting on my shoulder.

I opened my eyes and looked right into Benjamin’s eyes. “Alone.”

Please, please, pleeeaase… just understand.

He smiled. And in that way that only Benjamin has he nodded and handed me the keys to his truck.

I blinked. “I have a car.”

He turned and looked out at the driveway.

Oh…

My car was completely blocked in by his big old truck.

“I can move my truck if you like.” He turned and gave me a very warm, very tempting stare. “I just can’t guarantee I won’t follow you.”

Oh gosh…

I felt parts of me tingle I’d never imagined tingling before.

I felt my face warm. I was pretty sure I was turning red.

I reached out and grabbed Benjamin’s truck keys and fled down the stairs. A few moments later and I was up in the driver’s seat of the truck and staring wide-eyed at the multiple control panel readouts, buttons, and levers.

It was like a freaking jet plane cockpit.

Okay… look for the basics.

Steering wheel: check.

Keyhole: check.

Gas and brake pedals: check.

I looked over and to my utter relief the transmission was automatic.

Thank heavens.

I put the key in the steering column and gave it a turn. The engine turned over and vroomed gamely. You could feel the vibrations up through the seat.

I looked up to see Benjamin staring intently at me, his strong arms crossed over his very, very nice chest.

I closed my eyes for a beat, trying to calm down, but more than anything I wanted to get out of there. I needed to drive or run, and I needed the wind to blow the thoughts right out of my head.

Ah, the windows!

I used the little buttons on the door to lower the two windows, and then I put the truck in reverse, let it roll back out of my driveway, and out onto the road. I stopped, shifted to drive and pushed down on the gas.

Not looking back.

Chapter 4

Okay. Though I was upset and confused… I had to admit driving Benjamin’s truck was fun. Being higher off the road was a pretty exhilarating sensation. Flying down the road, the truck eating the blacktop: that was awesome.

Maybe I should look into getting one of these?

And then it wasn’t fun anymore.

I wasn’t going to be around long enough to buy a truck. I would never go to a dealership and pick one out. I’d never get to haggle about prices and options.

Just looking at my hands on the steering wheel proved my point: dove gray. Whatever sickness I had was doing just fine.

But I wasn’t.

By the time I dove into town I was well under the speed limit and feeling even worse than I had at the house.

At least at the house, there was Benjamin.

And my spirits dropped all the more.

I wouldn’t be around for Benjamin. We would never have…

Anything.

Oh god, I wanted to puke.

I pulled over and parked on the street, rolling the windows up, climbing out of the truck, and closing and locking the door.

I saw my reflection in the shiny glass of the driver’s side window. With the beautiful blue sky above as a backdrop, I looked more like a smudge than a person.

I leaned in and rested my forehead against the glass. It was cool, even though it was hot outside.

“Hey there, hungry girl!”

I pushed myself off the truck and blinked. Lauren, the waitress from Carly’s Burgers was standing on the sidewalk, laden down with at least a dozen shopping bags full of groceries.

“Are you alright?” she asked, her sweet, smiling face turning concerned.

No. “I’m fine.”

Lauren tilted her head and gave me a long, hard look. “People are never fine when they say they’re fine.”

I blinked back the moisture that was trying to well up in my eyes. My next breath sounded suspiciously like a sob. “What do people say when they’re fine then?” I was starting to babble.

With a tilt of her head, she commanded me to join her on the sidewalk.

We started walking as she spoke.

“Some people say they’re right as rain. Some like to be peachy keen.”

I smiled.

“Most people, though, still don’t mean they’re either. They’re just putting up a brave face. They’re just like all the rest of us…” I looked at her and she said, “They’re just barely hanging on.”

I swallowed a sob and tried to smile. But it didn’t quite make it.

“I don’t mean to get all up in your business,” Lauren said. “You just looked so sad back there.”

I’m sad because I’m dying, and there’s so much I want to do still.

I thought that, but I couldn’t tell her.

“You look like you have cancer of the puppy or something.”

I did smile then. “You’re funny.”

“I’m also nosy, bossy and can trash talk with the best of them.”

I took a deep breath. I so needed that. I felt my body relax immediately.

“I was in college—English History. I barely said boo to anyone.”

Lauren bumped my shoulder as we walked. “I like Prince Harry best. He’s adorable. And I think he’d be a really fun date.”

“Me too.”

We walked for a few beats in silence. It was nice.

Not being alone, in a pretty little town, just walking down the street.

“Well, at least you have your health,” Lauren said.

My health?

Did she not see my gray skin?

“Maybe you need a job, you know, to take your mind off of your problems. Plus you get paid, which is always a good thing.”

“I used to wait tables, back in Colorado. But I don’t know if I can still do it.”

Lauren nodded. “Well, we’re all full up at Carly’s, but Jerry’s gas station is looking for an afternoon attendant.”

And wouldn’t you know, we were standing not fifty feet from said gas station.

“Come on,” Lauren said, already walking toward the building. “I have to get some night crawlers for my man—early morning fishing trip tomorrow—so I’ll introduce you to Jerry while we’re there.”

I stopped and stared after her. A couple minutes ago I was on the verge of tears. Now she wanted me to apply for a job. I probably looked like hell. And who would want to employ someone that looked as sickly as I looked?

Lauren gave me another one of her blistering stares. “Come on, hungry girl, I’ve got sour cream and cottage cheese getting warm here.”

I started after her, biting my lip with nerves. “I’m Chelsea, by the way.”

“And here I was so sure you were a Lana or a Lolita.”

I sped up in front of her and opened the door for her. There was a very soft gong noise as the door opened. Made sense, since this town was crawling with shifters, to have the bell on the door be so soft.

“Jerry! I’ve got your new afternoon girl here. Come meet Chelsea.”

###

Lauren was a force of nature.

Before I knew what happened I’d met Jerry, filled out an application, had an interview—which was pretty much Lauren interrogating me with thankfully fluff questions, and then Jerry hiring me.

The deciding factor had been Lauren telling Jerry “She’s already twice as good as any of the last ten people you’ve hired and fired. What do you have to lose?”

A lot.

I’m a shifter that hasn’t shifted. And the man would have to be blind not to see the gray in my coloring.

But he didn’t even flinch when he took my hand and we shook on my being hired.

I started tomorrow, on the night shift.

After that, I followed Lauren back to Carly’s Burgers and ordered myself another Hungry Bear platter. This time with a side of fries.

Lauren chatted with me between waiting on her tables. She was funny and really liked to talk. She also had a way, seemingly like magic, of getting her customers to smile at her. It was like some kind of magnetism. And she wasn’t even a shifter.

After devouring my early lunch, and ordering a second to-go for Benjamin, I got back in the truck and drove back home.

Home…

Yes, Nonna the werebear/witch’s house felt like home.

More than anywhere else had since I’d been bitten.

Too bad it would only be home for a little longer.

When I got there I heard the rough back and forth of a hand-held saw blade.

I grabbed the bag of Carly’s Burgers goodies and followed that sound to the side yard where I found Benjamin slumped over an old-fashioned wooden sawhorse, menacing looking metal saw in hand, and a poor, innocent two by four in the other.

I watched as with just a few strokes of the saw the two by four became two pieces.

It’s good to be a shifter.

He whipped out a pocket measure and marked it with a tiny pencil he had tucked behind his ear.

But then his back straightened and he scented the air.

A moment later he turned and shot me one heck of a sexy smile.

No… no, no, no!

I can’t be thinking that Benjamin is sexy.

Yeah, but I’m not blind either.

“Feel better?” he asked.

I nodded. “Sorry I was so…”

“Don’t apologize.” He walked over and stared into my eyes.

Oh boy…

“What’s in the bag?”

Bag? “What bag?” My voice sounded singsongy, and I’m sure I looked like I was a swooning, drooling teenager.

He looked down at my hands.

Yep, there it was. The bag.

“Lunch,” I said, my voice sounding more than an octave higher than usual. “I ate in town and brought you back the same. It’s called The Hungry Bear.”

Okay, now that didn’t sound a bit stupid.

I watched his half hooded eyes turn from the blue of a winter day to pure, radiant sapphire.

“Good,” he said, his lips sensuously forming every syllable. “I’m starving.”

Oh… so… slowly… he reached over and took the large paper bag out of my hands.

“You can have the cheese sticks. I’ve never liked fried cheese.”

That snapped me out of my daze.

“You don’t like cheese sticks? Are you kidding?”

He chuckled. “I can eat them if that’s all there is, but I’d have to be starving more than this.”

There’s a new platter for Lauren to sell: The Starving Wolf.

“That’s kinda twisted. I’m not even sure it’s American.”

“It’s not American,” Benjamin said as he passed through the back door into the kitchen. “Cheese sticks originate from France.”

I scowled.

I loved British History, but I was also quite ignorant of the rest of the world’s history. Especially about their food.

I smiled as I followed Benjamin back into the house.

I have to admit that it was nice to be back. The house was already so familiar, and to lay my eyes on it again was so soothing. Just inhaling the air here was like a balm. Probably because it was a little musty, like a book. I love how books smell.

Benjamin was already at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee poured and emptying the bag of eats.

I grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured myself a cup of that coffee. It was just this side of hot and sent a zing of caffeine through me.

“Is this from Carly’s?” Benjamin asked.

I nodded. “I’ve eaten there twice since I got here.”

His handsome chin popped up in a happy nod. “I like their food. Lots of calories there.”

Yes, shifters need a lot of calories. I can’t imagine trying to go vegan as a shifter. It would be torture.

Not that I was a model of wolfy health. Not even close from the tint of my skin.

Benjamin was halfway through the burger and was starting on the ribs when I shook myself out of my little gray skin reverie.

“There are pretty good pre-made subs at that gas station too,” he said between bites of ribs.

Oh, yeah… I had news.

“Jerry’s gas station,” I said and he nodded. “Well, I just got a job working there.”

Benjamin stopped eating. He looked up at me with wide, shocked eyes. “You’re going to work at the gas station?”

His question kind of echoed through my brain. Was I really going to work there?

“Yes,” I said reaching over and stealing the container that had the cheese sticks. “I need to work. I can’t live off my savings for long, and…” And Lauren had pretty much decided the whole thing for me. “Jerry’s really nice, and I’m working afternoons… the closing shift.”

“Uh huh…” Benjamin’s eyes danced around the table. He was thinking. Probably deciding how to ask the obvious without hurting my feelings.

I beat him to it.

“I haven’t had an anxiety attack once since I got here. Not even a nightmare.”

Of course, it had only been a little over twenty-four hours.

“That’s good,” he said, trying to sound positive. “If you need me to, I can come down and loiter.”

My lips curled as I pondered throwing one of my cheese sticks at him. But instead, I dunked it in sauce and took a big bite. “I’ll have to make a sign: ‘No loitering unless you’re a werewolf.’”

His eyes did that glowy thing again. “Maybe just Werewolf Benjamin.”

I felt my body warm all over. My skin, my face… especially my middle.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy…

“When do you start?” he asked.

“Tomorrow. Jerry will train me for a week, he said—since he doesn’t have anyone for the afternoon shift except the weekend lady. But she can only work the weekends. She’s got school.” 

I swear Benjamin’s ears perked up. “So you’ll be off on the weekends?”

“Yep, free and clear.”

He smiled. “Good. They’re having a little festival this weekend. Saint Rocco.”

“There’s a saint named Rocco?”

“It’s an Italian thing. Lots of good food, dancing, and fireworks.”

I loved food and fireworks… but dancing?”

“I can’t dance,” I confessed.

He raised an eyebrow at me. “All werewolves can dance.”

I scoffed. “You can’t dance.”

Benjamin might have many hidden talents, but I was quite sure he couldn’t dance. At Stormy’s wedding, I’d watched out my window and had seen him as he shrank away from any woman who even looked his way when music was playing.

“I can’t…” He stood up, pulled his phone out of his back pocket, and with a few taps of the screen a fast-paced honky-tonk tune blared into the kitchen.

“I don’t believe it,” I said as he started to scoot his workboot-clad feet across the kitchen floor.

I shook my head, blinking and trying not to gape as the man did a little line dance across the kitchen, threw in a bit of Irish stepdance, and then a flourish of Elvis' hips.

Oh. My. Goodness.

It was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

But then he turned toward me and held out his hand.

I put up my hands, begging off. “I told you, I can’t dance.” A nervous giggle bubbled up from deep inside me. “I’m a certified klutz.”

But before I could think twice he had me by the hand, and in two shakes of a lamb’s tail he twirled me around twice and then pulled me into a perfect dance hold.

“Look at me,” he said low and whispery. “Not your feet.”

I was looking at him. I couldn’t see anything else. He was so beautiful and kind and…

He was Benjamin. My Benjamin.

He was all I saw, all I wanted to see… all that I smelled and felt. I could even hear his heart beating faster as he looked at me.

Whatever we were doing, the steps didn’t seem to matter. We swayed, we moved across the kitchen floor, and he would spin me around.

It was like being in heaven.

And then the song ended.

For an uncomfortable moment, we stood there not moving, just staring at each other.

But then another song started to play. It was slow and made me think immediately of water.

Benjamin pulled me closer, and we danced in a slow, swaying style.

We were so close…

I wanted to kiss his neck.

I mean… we were so close, and he was there…

I really wanted to kiss his neck.

I wanted to kiss Benjamin.

My heart was thudding in my chest. I was certain Benjamin could hear it.

My hand was resting on his shoulder, and just seeing the gray tinge of my flesh tore me right out of what I was feeling. Like being slapped in the face. Hard.

I pulled away from Benjamin and gulped.

I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t start something I would never get to finish.

And Benjamin deserved so much more than I could give him. 

“I…” I stepped a few more steps away. “I forgot… I’ve got something I need to do.”

And with that, I turned and speed walked up the stairs, down the hall to my room and promptly locked myself in.

I backed away from the door as if I expected it to sprout fangs and attack me.

I ran my fingers back over my hair, ready to rip some of it out.

This was…

It was just…

Aggravating.

Why would the world give me this death sentence—being a shifter that can’t shift, who’s getting sicker and sicker—and then give me such a great, fantastic, amazing and sexy guy?

Why?

It’s not like I’m some villainous mean girl or a b-i-t-c-h.

I swung around picked up a book and threw it against the wall.

Tears burst from my eyes, hot and burning. I wanted to scream.

I covered my mouth over with my hands, trying to keep my sobs as quiet as I could.

I walked over and picked up the book I’d thrown. It was a biography of the current Queen Elizabeth. A tattered paperback that I’d bought new, and had read over and over again.

I put her back on the reading chair. I loved this book, and I was damn lucky it hadn’t been hurt.

I lay down on the bed, my arms hugging me.

Why would I get a chance at something so wonderful when I was on my way out?

Chapter 5

I don’t know when I fell asleep, or when I stopped crying, but when the pounding at my bedroom door woke me the room was almost perfectly dark, and my eyes felt so dried out.

“Wake up, wolf girl,” Benjamin called through the door.

I rubbed at my eyes and sat up on the edge of the bed.

Another knock, and then Benjamin just barged in, flipping the overhead light on with the switch by the door.

“Benjamin!” I ran my hands over my head, sure I looked perfectly ghastly. Bedhead and bloodshot, puffy eyes. Not to mention probably a red nose.

“Good, you’re dressed still.”

I closed my eyes and nodded. “Yes, it’s so much better I’m not naked.”

My eyes snapped open as soon as I said that bit. Benjamin was staring at me, his mouth gaping open and his eyes wide.

Jeez…

“I didn’t say that.”

He just smiled. “Whatever you say.”

We stared for another few beats before he shook his head and said, “Well, what are you waiting for? Grab a sweater and let’s go.”

“Go where?” I didn’t like this.

Historically, I didn’t like surprises at all.

“We’re going out. Grab a sweater or a jacket and let’s go.”

“I don’t want to go anywhere.” I just wanted to lay back down and disappear in the softness of my new sheets and the old feather mattress.

Benjamin cocked his head. “Okay, let’s talk about why it’s better I didn’t find you naked in here.”

“Fine… let’s go out.” I was up and pulling a well worn black cardigan from my closet and walked past him. “Don’t dawdle. We’ve got somewhere to be.”

We went downstairs and toward the front door. Benjamin beat me to the door, and the little bowl I’d placed on the stand beside it. In the bowl were our two sets of keys.

Benjamin plucked both sets out and headed out the door.

“Hey!” I lamented. 

“Hey what?” he called back over his shoulder.

“My car’s blocking yours in.”

“Yes, it is.” He hit the little fob thingy and the inner lights came on as the doors unlocked.

He was already so far ahead.

“My car, my rules… and my rule is I drive my car. No one else.”

“That’s a good rule,” he said, pulling the driver’s side door open and plopping his butt down into my car. “But I know where we’re going and you don’t… so get in so we get there on time.”

This was crazy.

Not werewolves-are-real insane, but it was pretty crazy to head out into the night, in the middle of nowhere, and not know where you were going.

“You need to tell me where we’re going,” I demanded.

Benjamin leaned over and looked up at me through the passenger side window. He also started the engine. “Nah… this is more fun. Get in.”

Oh, what a stubborn, idiotic man!

“And if I don’t?”

“Then we talk about you getting naked.”

I bit my lip. “I can live with that.”

And just like that, his eyes turned hot as if there was a sex powered furnace inside him, and the flames were licking up out from inside him. “And we can talk about what almost happened earlier. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

I knew he would do it too. He never pushed me to do anything. But if he said he would do something, then he would do it. Period.

I pulled the passenger side door open and got in.

“You play dirty.”

“You have no idea,” and he backed my car out into the road.

###

The sign read Sky View Drive-In.

“We’re watching a movie?”

“It’s a double feature,” he said as we rolled up to the entrance and the ticket booth.

“My first day is tomorrow—”

“And you don’t work until three in the afternoon.”

I looked up to the well-worn marquee. There was a superhero movie and a cartoon about a super villain turned hero.

Not my cup of tea, not either of them.

I opened my mouth to say I hate superhero movies almost as much as cartoons, but Benjamin placed his thick, rough finger against my lips.

“Sometimes you just need to watch a silly, stupid movie and have fun.”

I pulled away from his touch and rolled my eyes. “Fine, whatever…”

“I’ll take that as tacit agreement.”

And after he paid for our tickets he drove my little car up into a long, wide field and we parked almost exactly in the middle.

I smelled popcorn and hot dogs and pizza.

My belly rumbled, and I was suddenly absolutely starving.

With a big goofy grin I looked at Benjamin and said, “Race you!” and then I jumped out of the car and ran toward the concession stand.

###

It didn’t matter that we ran to get in line. The place was packed, so the line for the concession stand was huge. I had skipped dinner in my crying jag, and though the workers were churning the customers out with real speed, my tummy growled and growled the whole while.

I was practically drooling by the time we were close enough to ogle the food.

They had square pizza by the slice, fresh out of the fryer corn dogs, every candy imaginable and…

My goodness…

An old-time popcorn machine that when turned on gurgled and popped until the top shot open and a cascade of yummy smelling popcorn fell out into the glass receptacle.

I’d like to say I showed some decorum and self-restraint… but I’m a werewolf and I was freaking starving!

Large popcorn: check.

Three pieces of pepperoni pizza: check.

A corndog: double check—you can’t just have one!

A bag of gummy bears the size of my foot: check.

And a cherry pop bigger than my head: check.

Benjamin got himself a full eight slice pizza and three corn dogs.

We ended up sharing the popcorn.

The first movie was the one about the supervillain turned good guy.

Supervillain turned good guy?

Really?

It sounded so lame.

But by the time I was done scarfing down my pizza and the corn dogs I was smiling and laughing and thoroughly engaged. That’s when we shared the popcorn, and I ended up sucking down more than half that super-sized cherry pop.

Our hands touched once in a while as we shared the popcorn, but I was either too weary or engrossed in the movie to properly care.

By the third act, where the big bad threat shows up from outer space, and the original hero of the movie turns out not to be dead, just hiding out because he’s tired of saving the world, I’d opened the bag of gummy bears.

Oh. My. Gosh.

They were the best darn gummy bears I’d ever eaten.

Each flavor burst in my mouth. And they were soft and moist too.

Benjamin tried to steal one and I pulled the bag out of his reach.

That was until he gave me puppy dog eyes and a little doggie whine.

I was half afraid he would do a wolf howl if I didn’t let him have some, so I caved.

Being a drive-in, people felt free to laugh, to heckle some of the campier portions of the film, and to play frisbee when the end credits started to roll.

I took the intermission to go stand in line for the ladies’ room. Another long line.

But I did hear some interesting gossip about a woman named Sadie and her long-running affair with a doctor over in Stillwater Falls.

“It’s the only thing that keeps either of them married to their respective spouses,” one woman said.

“Yeah, but if they’re not happy in their marriages, then why don’t they just get divorced and marry each other?” said a redhead with a pair of miraculous, gravity-defying breasts.

  “The doctor has kids,” the first woman said as they moved into the cramped confines of the ladies room. “Plus,” she stage-whispered this next part, “hello… they belong to two different clans.”

The third woman in their little group chimed in then. “I heard they’re waiting for the kids to get older and then they’re gonna get matching divorces and then join our clan.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” the redhead said.

As they came out the redhead said, “Did you hear about that biker gang out in Cedar County? I hear they’ve been tearing up every town they come to.”

The first woman scoffed. “They better stay away from here if they know what’s good for them. The Abrams bothers will eat them alive.”

A little shiver ran through me as I went in and locked myself in a stall. I didn’t know if it was the thought of a rogue biker gang tearing up towns in their wake, or whether it was the thought of the sheriff eating them.

Oh, and he had a brother—the Abrams brothers.

Maybe they would be the ones to put me out of my misery when the time came?

I peed, washed my hands and then headed back to the car. The movie started seconds after I fell into the passenger seat. I was suddenly so tired.

I leaned over and rested my head against Benjamin’s arm. The movie started and I fell fast asleep. The last thing I remembered was breathing in Benjamin’s familiar, comforting scent.

Chapter 6

My alarm clock was bleating at me from across the room.

I so didn’t want to get out of bed.

I sat up straight as if I was a spring-loaded jack-in-the-box.

I was in bed.

I had been at the drive-in movies with Benjamin.

And now I was in my room, in my own bed.

Alone.

I looked down and found I was still in the clothes I had been wearing yesterday.

I pulled back the covers and saw my shoes were off, but my socks were still on.

Benjamin was so sweet. He had carried me up here and put me to bed, and left all my clothes on.

Part of me, right then, wanted that man to undress me someday—someday soon.

That was never going to happen.

It couldn’t.

I couldn’t.

I fell back on the bed and tried to push the thought of being with Benjamin out of my mind. But I ended up clinging to the warmth of that thought, like a moth to a flame.

I pulled myself up and out of bed, padded out into the hallway and to the bathroom.

After using the facilities and brushing my teeth, I decided to go down and eat breakfast/lunch… whatever it was. My wolfy metabolism had already burned right through all the stuff I’d pigged out on last night, and my tummy was growling again.

I went downstairs and caught the smell of fresh coffee halfway down the stairs. Then I smelled sausage and eggs.

I entered the kitchen, enveloped in the smell of melted cheddar and fried potatoes.

And biscuits.

But I didn’t see any food.

That’s when an alarm went off on the oven and Benjamin came trotting in the back door.

And he was stunning to behold.

Old faded jeans with some small tears and oil stains, work boots and no shirt.

Sure, I’d seen him naked before, back when he and Roxy were trying to help me shift. But I had been so stressed, it had been so far away from being sexy.

But…

Benjamin shirtless and sweating… and smeared with grease and sawdust.

Gulp.

He was beautiful.

“Hey, sleepy head,” he said as he went right to the oven, pulled on a pair of oven mitts, pulled open the oven door and then extricated a pan of biscuits and a rectangular baking pan that looked to have everything I’d been smelling inside it.

“What is that?” I asked, trying not to ogle his shiny, flexing torso any more than I already had.

Was I starting to drool because of the food or the man?

Sweet baby Jesus… a little help here?

Benjamin had two dinner plates out and was already slicing out two giant pieces of whatever it was he’d made.

“It’s called breakfast casserole.” He brought the two plates to the kitchen table, set them down and then went back to throw the biscuits on a separate plate.

“Smells like you put everything in a bowl and mixed it up.”

He snickered. “Close. You start with some fried potatoes—I like hash-browns best. Then mix up some sausage, eggs and cheese, a splash of milk and then pour it over the potatoes.”

Okay, that sounded like a mess.

“Bake for about forty-five minute and you’ve got ambrosia.”

Ambrosia… the food of the gods.

I wasn’t sure taking all the components of a breakfast and throwing them in a blender was the same thing as ambrosia.

Benjamin caught my tentative look. “Sit down and try it before you go all food judge on me.

I sighed and shrugged. He had a point. I hadn’t tried it. Plus it smelled really good.

Maybe this was like some kind of breakfast stew?

I grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee, then took a seat across from Benjamin.

He was already tucked into eating, and since he hadn’t instantly fallen over from food poisoning, I grabbed one of his fresh baked biscuits and, cracked it open and slathered butter on it. I took a big bite and luxuriated in the taste.

Benjamin knew his way around baking a biscuit.

Now for the breakfast casserole.

I took my fork, cut off a small bite and popped it in my mouth.

“Now chew,” Benjamin said, a smirk on his face.

I rolled my eyes at him as I started to chew.

Wow…

I stabbed my fork into the breakfast casserole and shoved a bigger piece into my mouth.

It was one of the best things I’d ever had. It was just…

I took another bite.

“Miss es sooo goon!” I proclaimed through a full and happy mouth.

Benjamin smiled while I stuffed my face full of his amazing breakfast casserole.

###

After I ate my weight in breakfast casserole I had about an hour and a half to get ready for work. A shower, a nice t-shirt, and my newest jeans, a scrunchy to pull back my hair and a light dusting of makeup.

Not that makeup was going to do any good. I’m turning gray. Everyone can see that.

But still, I had to try.

Maybe he wouldn’t remember how gray I was last time he saw me.

Lauren had bullied him into hiring me. I know that. And in a way, I’m beholden to her. To go so far out of your way for someone you hardly even know.

Lauren was good people.

I wished, more than anything else on this earth that I knew, for certain, I still was.

I think I was a good person before the evil wolfman bit me.

Benjamin is a good person. That I am certain of.

What happened to him before wasn’t his fault.

Getting bit wasn’t your fault either…

When I went downstairs Benjamin had made me a bagged lunch: Three PB&J sandwiches, a bag of Doritos, a pack of strawberry Twizzlers, a brownie and a bottle of fruit punch.

Okay, it was a pretty big bag, but we’re werewolves. We eat like werehogs.

He was waiting on the porch, nonchalantly cutting his fingernails with his pocket knife.

No matter how many times I see him do it, I can’t help but cringe.

“One of these days you’re going to cut one of those off.”

He smiled, his attention to what he was doing not wavering in the least.

“I’ve been doing this, with this very knife, since I was six years old.”

I suddenly wanted to ask how old he really was.

He looked like he was twenty-five years old. When he was stressed or tired, he could pass for  being in his early thirties.

But I’d never had the nerve to ask.

I took a breath to ask, but when I opened my mouth not a word came out.

I stood there, watching him cutting his fingernails down, and then he said, “I’m seventy-seven—maybe seventy-eight years old. I was born right after the Depression ended.”

I blinked a few times at his admission. The Depression ended in 1939.

Oh boy…

Maybe seventy-eight years old.

“You don’t know how old you are?”

He looked up at me. His eyes were so light blue they were like pieces of sky.

“Back then things got lost easily, families with a lot of children didn’t keep the most meticulous records. I was the second of three sons, all born less than a year apart. My younger brother died a month or two after he was born. Plus I had two sisters.”

“Oh, gosh… I’m such a dummy. I didn’t mean to dredge up something painful.”

He pocketed his knife, pushed himself up from the porch steps and moved to right in front of me.

“It’s good to remember,” he rasped, tucking an errant strand of my hair back behind my ear. “After so long, it’s all too easy to forget.”

“I could use some forgetting right about now.”

He shook his head. “No, that you really don’t want.”

I really wanted to reach out and touch him.

But I didn’t.

I needed to get to work. It wouldn’t do to be late on my first day.

“I’ve gotta get going.”

He nodded and looked me deep in the eye. “I’m fixing some plumbing about five minutes drive from Jerry’s, so call if you need me.”

“I will.”

He scrubbed his hand over the back of his neck.  “I’ll probably pop in on my break.”

“Not here even forty-eight hours yet and we both have jobs.”

He sighed. “Guess we’re just a couple of go-getters.”

I scowled at him. “Don’t go spreading that around. I have a reputation to consider.”

His smile slid off his face as he just stared at me.

We were breathing in unison. We were mere inches apart.

And with a quick, shy motion he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

“Don’t work too hard.”

“I…” I have no idea what I was going to say.

Instead, I leaned forward, took the man by the head and very deliberately kissed him on the lips.

I hadn’t really planned to. I didn’t think I’d end up kissing him for so long as I had.

All I know is by the time we stopped I was pressed against the outer wall of the house, and I was barely able to stand on my own.

“Holy cow,” I said as the sheer force of what had just happened hit me.

I kissed Benjamin.

Benjamin had kissed me.

This was utterly insane.

“I’ve got to go,” I mumbled, and then leaned up and kissed his lips one more time. He tasted even better the second time around. Plus his hands were on my hips while his body pressed against mine.

I was breathless when I said, “I really have to go.”

“You really do.” He kissed my knuckles as he held my hands up to his face.

And ever so slowly I moved toward and then past where he was standing, watching me with rapt attention.

There were so many things I should’ve said, things I could’ve said and needed to say.

But I couldn’t say anything else. I was, quite literally, speechless.

I bent and picked up my bagged lunch—which I’d dropped the instant his lips had touched mine.

On shaky legs, I staggered down the front porch steps and out to my car.

I dropped into the driver’s seat, laid the bag on the passenger seat and started my car.

Chapter 7

I thought waiting tables was complicated. From the computerized ordering system to the menu, cashing customers out, splitting checks, side work and learning how fast each cook was so you put your orders in fast enough not to get complaints and being able to give a table enough time to eat their appetizers before the main course came out.

But that job had NOTHING on the many, many responsibilities and skills you needed to run a gas station/convenience store.

My first day with Jerry was a complete, nerve-racking blur.

The computer system was similar to the one I used at my old job, but the menu… well, it was everything in the store and a few things not in the store. And the electronic gas system was daunting. He had six pumps. Credit and debit cards used at the pump were nothing.

But cash or credit in store…

That required using both computer systems and that… was…

I know time really doesn’t pass at different speeds. Rationally, I know when time crawls along, it’s just human perspective.

But my hours on the register felt like a full week, with intermittent bouts of Chinese water torture.

After a while of doing that, and the five o’clock rush hour, Jerry got to show me some of the other things I’d need to do.

Cleaning restrooms. Stocking cups—oh my goodness, if there was anything I would probably dream about that night more than the cash register would be filling all those cups. Small cups, medium and large cups, super-sized cups, and then the multiple sizes of coffee cups. And the lids.

The lids were insidious. They were so much harder to get into the dispensing slots than the cups.

Then I was introduced to the self-serve pop machines, coffee and espresso machines, and the super latte machine that was “our best seller nowadays.”

Miles of tubes, multiple tanks of different gases used to pump the liquids out, and the refill bags for all the flavors.

The coolers looked simple enough, but it turned out you stocked them from the inside. There was a chilled room behind the coolers, and that was where to take the new stock and…

Oh heavens… how was I going to remember all this?

When we were done with that, then Jerry showed me how to stock the dry goods, like chips and pretzels and candy and gum and condoms…

I’m sure I turned a few shades of red when we came to that.

And live bait.

Okay, I’m a city girl. Even before moving to the “big city” for college, my little town was, well, it was a little town, and I was the quintessential band geek/book geek… geek.

Luckily the bait was in little plastic containers, individually labeled, and luckily in non-see-through containers.

And right after the live bait exhibit, it was lunchtime.

I couldn’t imagine I’d be hungry at that point, but due to my wolfy, shifter metabolism I was ravenous. I grabbed my bagged lunch from the cooler room—there was a little shelf in there for employee stuff—and headed outside. I’d been in air conditioning the whole day, and I was yearning for some fresh air.

I got that, and a lot of car exhaust and gas fumes.

And I got Benjamin.

He was waiting by my car, another paper bag in his hand.

I didn’t even ask why he was there.

Of course, he was there. No mystery there.

“What’s in the bag?” I did ask.

“Nothing,” he said coyly, “just some cheese sticks from Carly’s.”

I breathed out and focused on the bag.

“You really shouldn’t have,” I said as I took the bag from his hands.

There was a little moment that was just us staring at each other.

Okay, this was getting ridiculous. This was my first day on the job, and I was so hungry.

But he was standing there, all pretty and vulnerable and…

He broke eye contact first and shook his head. “Your stomach’s growling, you should eat.”

I couldn’t argue. I needed to eat.

We sat on the hood of my car as I dug into my food. Cheese sticks first, then two sandwiches and the bag of chips. I saved the third sandwich for later, I still had a break left.

“So how’s it going in there? Looks busy.”

I nodded, my mouth stuffed full of ham and turkey sandwich. “When it’s not super busy, then Jerry’s been showing me stuff.” I took a drink of my cherry soda. “Thank my lucky stars I’m getting a whole week’s training.”

“You’ll do great,” Benjamin said and stood up.

“Where are you going?” That came out a little needy.

He turned and those gorgeous blue eyes took me in. “I’ve got an estimate consultation at a house on the west side.”

I blinked. “How are you getting jobs so fast?”

“I printed some signs out before I left Durango. Plus there’s a fairly popular message board on Grayslakebuy-sell.com. I posted my ad there last week.”

Benjamin was a freaking boy scout. Ready for anything.

And just like that, he leaned in and kissed me. Not long, and not a peck on the lips. Just long enough to make my heart race and my mind go completely blank.

He tasted of peppermint and iced tea.

A moment later and he sauntered over to his truck, got in and rolled off into town.

“Ooh la la…” came Lauren’s voice from right behind me. I turned and found her giving me the eye. “That’s one hot hunk of man you’ve got there.”

A huge grin broke out on my face. He was one hot hunk of man.

But he wasn’t mine. He never would be.

My smile fell at that thought.

“Darlin’, whatever just passed through that brain of yours is probably the exact wrong thing to be thinking.”

I put down the rest of my sandwich and sighed, feeling suddenly beaten down. “I can’t help it. He’s… I…”

“If you’re going to say you’re not good enough for him or some other bat-shit crazy idea, you can just knock it off right now. He’s sexy and hot and all, but so are you, my nerdy little hungry girl.”

I looked at her and it just came out. “But I’m dying! Can’t you see it? My skin is so gray, I don’t know how much longer I have…” I sobbed, anger and fear ripping into me in equal measures. “I can’t be starting something with him when I’m not going to be here much longer.” 

Lauren held up her hands and closed in on me. “Sweetie, what are you talking about?”

Tears were just streaming down my face. “I can’t shift. I haven’t shifted once since… since it happened. And every day my skin turns a little grayer.” I looked at her, feeling so ready to explode. “Don’t tell me you don’t see it!”

Lauren reached out and took hold of me by the shoulders. “Sweetie, I’m no doctor or anything, but you look just fine to me.”

What?

“You don’t have the dark circles under your eyes you had when I first met you, and because you’re a shifter you don’t even get zits anymore.”

What!?!?

I held my hand out and looked. Still gray, still ghostly pale. I held my arm next to hers.

“You don’t see that?”

“Sure I do,” she said, “you’ve got a better tan than I do.”

I shook my head. How couldn’t she see…

Oh no…

I wasn’t dying.

I was going insane.

“Sweetie, now calm down or you’re going to lose your lunch all over Jerry’s parking lot, and then you’ll have to clean it up.”

I laughed. This was utterly insane.

“Now listen to me. I’ll talk to my honey and his brother. Things are different here, so maybe you’re a different species or something.”

Different?

“I know plenty of shifters that don’t shift. But… well, just don’t stress about it too much. I’ll talk to Ty and some others and see what they think.”

She pulled a pack of to-go tissues from her pocket and started wiping the tears from my face. “Now let’s pull you back together so you can go back in there and not stress out poor Jerry any more than he is.”

I blew my nose—I always get snotty when I cry—and started to giggle.

Whether I was going crazy or not, I might not be dying.

I might not be dying!

I plucked the order pad from Lauren’s pocket and started writing.

“Here’s my cell phone number. Call me as soon as you find anything out.”

“Darlin’… most people would be kinda upset they were seeing things.”

I handed her the order pad back. “I can handle crazy. I can so handle being crazy!”

###

I arrived home to the smells of a beef roast. I was instantly salivating.

The front door was open and every step I took made the aroma of slow-roasted meat and potatoes and carrots all the more intense.

I heard the whirr of an electric mixer as I came into the kitchen, and there was Benjamin whipping mashed potatoes.

“You really know how to cook, don’t you?” I asked as I came up behind him and looked over into the pot of potatoes.

Mmm… they smelled so good.

He looked back at me and gave me the prettiest of smiles.

“My breakfast casserole didn’t cement my culinary rep?” he said, turning off the mixer.

I shrugged. “Novelty breakfast foods are one thing,” I dipped my finger down into the pot and stole a taste of the whipped potatoes.

A touch of garlic, butter, and pepper.

Delicious.

“But this…” I pointed at the potatoes. “This is art.”

“Wait till you get my meat in your mouth.”

My eyes bugged out as what he’d said registered on his face.

“That sounded a lot different in my head.”

I busted out laughing.

“What I meant was wait until you taste the beef roast I’m fixing.”

I was slumped over the counter by the sink, trying to calm myself.

“Sure you did,” and the way I said that wasn’t a bit filled with innuendo.

I turned and he was standing there by the stove, mixer still in his hands, a cute little daisy print apron tied around his hips.

He looked abashed and totally adorable.

I was on the verge of trying to say something back, something funny and maybe flirty—but I was still iffy about what Lauren had told me before.

“Do I…” my mouth went dry just trying to get it out. “Do I look gray to you?”

Benjamin scowled. “Gray how?”

I swallowed and almost begged off… but I needed to know what he saw.

“Does my skin look gray to you?”

He smiled and shook his head, “You look just fine to me. Like peaches and cream.”

Oh…

The way he said that it made my knees wobble a little.

He gave his head a little shake and looked away from me.

But only for a moment.

Which was good. I loved having him looking at me.

“I know you might be worried about all the car exhaust and other stuff you might inhale at the gas station, but besides being stinky, it won’t hurt you. You’re a shifter and we aren’t vulnerable to that stuff.”

He didn’t see the gray.

So I was crazy.

But not dying… probably not.

Just crazy.

I could live with that.

Especially if it gave me time with Benjamin.

“When’s dinner? I worked up an appetite.”

###

The beef roast was amazing. Perfectly seasoned and cook just the way I never knew I liked my meat: well done on the outside, a little pink on the inside.

I really was becoming a wolf.

We ate, we did dishes, and then we went out and took a walk through the woods. There was a small pond about a mile away. I made a mental note about it for later on.

I’d always wanted to swim in something other than a public swimming pool.

I also wanted to see Benjamin naked and wet.

I’m sure I blushed just thinking that.

I hoped he couldn’t smell anything, though. I’d die if he could smell arousal on me.

After all, I was still a virgin.

I also made a mental note to look up the perils of sex in water.

###

It was nice, sitting on the swing on that big old front porch. I was leaning against Benjamin, not thinking at all, just breathing him in, and the lovely jasmine laced breeze.

He had his arm around me, but let me do all the leaning in.

I don’t know how the man could be so patient.

He’d been nursing me back to health for months, and until today we’d never even kissed.

We just sat there, leaning against each other, in the dark, not even the porch light on.

“So,” he said after nearly two hours of not saying a word. “How was your day?”

I laughed. It was just so funny.

“Not bad.”

He was smiling. I could tell.

“You think you’re going to want to go back tomorrow?”

I looked up at him. “That’s the plan.”

“No anxiety attacks?”

I thought about that. I’d been nervous, sure. But nothing like when I’d tried to wait tables at Stormy’s place. Being here, for some reason, was just so much easier.

“I’m good.”

“Good,” he said, nodding gravely. “Don’t want to be seen with a jobless no-account slacker type.”

I sat up and gave him a hard look. “Slacker?”

He really laid on the aw-shucks look.

“You did do a pretty good impersonation of one.”

I smiled and slowly leaned in as if I was going to kiss him.

But then I reached in and grabbed hold of a good bit of his stomach.

He squirmed and tried to get away, but I had a good hold on him, and I had shifter strength too.

We fell off the porch swing, and I landed on top of him on the wooden floor of the porch.

I was laughing, and so was he. But then we looked into each other’s eyes, our faces so close, and our bodies connected.

It felt right to be so close to him.

I let my face fall toward his and kissed him so lightly. It was like taking tiny sips of life itself, each little kiss giving me more and more strength.

We kissed and kissed and kissed. I don’t even know for how long. Crickets serenaded us, and the wind through the trees played harmony.

Finally, Benjamin rolled us over and put some distance between us.

And I knew why.

I wasn’t ready to go any further. Not really.

He always seemed to know what I needed, and what I was ready for.

“You need to get some sleep,” he said and caressed a lock of my hair back behind my ear.

“You’re right,” I said, and then dragged myself self up off of the floor. I stretched and then looked down at him, holding out my hand. “Let’s get on that.”

He looked skeptical. So I leaned over and took him by the hand.

It was as if I had absolute power over him. All I had to do was give the slightest pull or tug, and he moved exactly where I wanted him.

I led him into the house, up the stairs and down the hall to my room.

When I opened my bedroom door he shook his head. “You’re not ready.”

“No, I’m not ready for that. But I don’t want to sleep another night without you.”

And that was all the argument I had to make.

Benjamin followed me into my room, waited on the edge of the bed, his back to me, while I changed into a nightshirt, and then he took off his shirt and lay down beside me.

I pressed my hand to his chest and felt his heart pounding slowly and steadily.

My Benjamin.

He was all mine as if he always had been.

And always would be.

Chapter 8 

The next morning I woke feeling like… well, better than I had since before I was bitten. Maybe better than I’d ever felt in my whole life.

Benjamin was gone, leaving a note saying he had a morning full of estimates and a gutter repair out on Ole Antangy Road, wherever that was. “Your lunch is in the icebox.”

I smiled at the old-fashioned word choice.

I pulled his pillow to my face and inhaled deeply. It was as if I was in heaven, enveloped in his scent, submerged in thoughts and feelings that only had to do with him.

When I finally forced myself to emerge from this Benjamin reverie I looked at my hand again.

Still looked pretty darn gray to me.

Just then my phone started to ring. I reached over and looked at the display. It was Lauren.

I felt excited and terrified at the same time.

“Lauren?”

“Who else, hungry girl?”

I smiled. “So what did they say?”

“Well, my love muffin, Van, doesn’t know much at all about other strains of the shifter. He’s more of a lover and a fighter than a deep thinker or research guy. But our clan alpha, Ty said he didn’t see or smell anything wrong with you the other day when you two met at my lunch counter. His mate, Mia has a ton of shifter blood in her, but she has never shifted.”

“Oh…”

“But then again, their strain of shifter can’t be passed on by a simple bite. So…”

My stomach dropped. “So they don’t have any idea about me.”

“Afraid so, darlin’. But that’s no biggie. Ty said there could be all kinds of reasons for it. The most important thing is not to stress or dwell on it… better to not even think about it.”

“And he doesn’t know why I’m seeing gray in my skin?”

She sighed. “He thought that was more of a mystical thing. Maybe there’s something special about you.”

Special?

Sure, I feel real special.

“I mean it. Don’t go worrying about it. It’s like suffering through it all twice.”

I shook my head at that simple though seriously true reasoning.

“Well, I’ve got to get to work to start my shift.”

“Thanks, Lauren. And thank you so much for getting me that job at Jerry’s. He’s a pretty nice guy.”

“Don’t mention it. Just make sure you come in and see me once in a while. I know you love the food.”

“I do, and I will.”

I tapped off my phone and lay there in my nice warm, Benjamin smelling sheets for a while.

No one knew what was going on with me. Not Stormy or Roxy or Benjamin, and not the shifters here in Grayslake.

But here I was, a shifter, a former college student, and I was in love with the best man I knew.

I closed my eyes and savored that wondrous thought.

I was in love.

If nobody knew what was happening to me, then how could I know?

That meant… what?

That I didn’t know if I was dying or not.

I felt fine.

Heck, I felt great. Strong, fast and my senses were off the charts.

I got up out of bed and padded to the restroom. After I brushed my teeth and took a long hot shower, I pulled my hair back in a ponytail again, pulled on some comfortable clothes and headed downstairs to scrounge up something for breakfast.

I didn’t have to look very far. There was a heaping plate of waffles, sausage, and eggs waiting for me.

Benjamin always thought of everything.

###

Work was better today. I was thinking clearer. The computer screens were making more sense. And I was smiling at people as I made change for them, or ran their cards for them. I was proficient enough Jerry went in the back for short stretches to deal with delivery trucks and the occasional vendors. He’d bring those vendors and truck drivers up to meet me, so I’d know them next week when I was doing the job on my own.

Benjamin was leaning against my car again when I took my lunch. He gave me the sweetest, sexiest smile. I walked up to him, set my bagged lunch on the hood of my car and then threw my arms around his neck.

Kissing Benjamin was so good. His lips were so soft and warm, he tasted utterly delicious, smelled amazing… but it was the little whimpering sounds he made when I pressed my advantage that really revved my engine.

It was like he was helpless against my charms…

I had never even thought I had charms.

But, well, the way he felt against me, and the way he pulled me further into that kiss…

I had some charm in me.

When I pulled away from him and looked up at him, he was panting and flushed.

Just like I wanted him.

“You know, Chelsea… you’re starting to tie me up in knots.”

I chuckled. Tying him up in knots sounded pretty good.

“Wait until I…” Wait until I tie you to my bed.

Oh, my goodness…

I couldn’t believe I almost said that!

“Wait until you what?” he asked.

I think from the smoldering look on his face that he knew exactly what I was about to say.

I hid my face in his broad, t-shirt clad chest and felt my face start burning.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” I exclaimed, pushing away from him and trying to will my face to stop blushing. “Nothing at all.”

He pulled a paper bag from behind his back. “Thought you’d like these.”

I plucked the bag from his fingers. “Cheese sticks?”

He shook his head. “Not today. They were out. But I took a chance you might like these too.”

I opened the bag and looked inside. Whatever they were, they were deep fried triangles.

“They come with a special dipping sauce too.”

I took one out, uncapped the sauce, dunked it and took a bite.

Mmmmm…

“Your friend Lauren called them loaded potato bites.”

Crunchy on the outside, savory and smooth on the inside.

And that sauce!

“I think cheese sticks have been knocked out of the lead for my favorite appetizer.”

Benjamin leaned down and took a bite of my potato bite, smiling like the cunning wolf he was. “I’ve gotta get back to work. I’ve got a couple estimates to do, and I start a deck out on Montour Boulevard tomorrow.”

I nodded and took another step toward him. I popped up on my toes and kissed him, ever so gently, ever so slowly, and then stepped back.

Benjamin almost fell over.

“Better get to work then,” I teased as I took another bite of my new favorite snack.

His eyes didn’t leave me for a moment, but he did start to walk back over to his truck, a rueful growl escaping his lips.

I watched as he hopped up into his shiny red beast, started the engine and then drove off back to work.

Yep, I thought as I reached into that baggie for another potato bite. I may not know what’s happening with me, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy it.

Chapter 9

At seven fifteen Jerry got a call from his wife. She had cut herself at the house and was at the ER in the next town.

“Do you feel like you can handle this for an hour or two?” he asked, panic in his voice. “I hate to ask you to so soon, but—”

“I’m fine,” I said. “I’ll be fine. Go be with your wife.”

He left me his cell phone number and the key to the front door.

“I’m sure I’ll be back before closing, but if not just turn this switch—” He showed me power switch for the sign and the lights out by the gas pumps “—and lock the door. I’ll count the drawer and all that stuff when I come in tomorrow.”

“Okay,” I said. And watched him rush out the door. He was so worried for his wife.

Made me even happier that I was working for such a great guy.

It also made me glad I didn’t have to run a place like this. It would run you… not the other way around.

###

The first hour flew by. I’d have a little rush, then a lull… and then an even longer rush, followed by a lull.

Nothing I couldn’t handle.

Then, when I was stocking the milk, I heard a low rumble start.

Was it a semi truck?

I walked out of the cooler and headed up front.

And that’s when I saw them.

Over a dozen motorcycles weaving in and out of the gas pumps.

A cold fear shot through me.

Were these the bikers I’d heard of at the drive-in?

I hesitated for a critical beat.

Call the sheriff or lock the door?

I rushed toward the door, pulling the key out and dropping it.

I skidded, bent over and scooped them up from the floor. But when I looked up again a huge, tattoo-covered man was walking through the door, making that low dong sound go off.

I froze for another long moment, my breathing going faster… so fast, my heart thudding in my ears.

Two other men, one with deep scars on his face, the other twirling a knife in his fingers, came in right behind the first.

Had they seen me?

Could I hide?

And then their scents hit me.

Werewolves.

Oh god…

I crouched down, trying to melt into the display of beef jerky I was beside.

I needed to get out. I needed to run.

I needed to get away from these…

I heard their boots as they walked further into the gas station.

“Hey there,” a voice said from right behind me.

I yelped and spun around, standing up and almost falling over at the same time.

The man was no bigger than the others, just leaner and dirtier. But I could feel something absolutely terrifying washing off of him in waves.

Menace.

Insanity.

And then I smelled him.

He smelled like the loupe werewolf who’d bitten me.

No… please god no…

My feet started moving me away from him, in a staggered, stiff run. But that just threw me into the hands of the other werewolves I’d been hiding from.

I tried to get free, to push them away, but they were every bit as strong as me, and they had me outnumbered. I heard the door gong again and saw two more men amble into the station, and then three more.

“We just got here,” one of the ones holding me said.

He didn’t smell like the one, like the loupe. But he had insanity radiating in his eyes.

“Not very hospitable,” the loupe said from right behind me again. I turned to look just in time to see his fist as it slammed into my face.

Pain exploded in my cheek, followed by a flash of light and then everything went dark.

Chapter 10

Benjamin

I’d thought about her all day.

Chelsea…

I couldn’t believe she’d kissed me.

Kissed me more than just once.

Me.

I wasn’t near good enough for her, but for some reason, she thought I was.

I needed to work my ass off to earn that consideration.

She’d led me into her bedroom last night and slept with her face nuzzled in my chest like it was a pillow.

When I’d woken with her in my arms—and a raging hard-on—I tried my best to slip out of her bed without waking her.

Lucky for me she’d been sleeping like a log lately, ever since she moved out here to Maddox’s grandmother’s house.

I was worried though. She’d said she saw gray leeching into her skin.

From where I was looking she looked… gorgeous. Beautiful, luminous… perfect.

Of course, I’d seen how special she was before that nasty loupe alpha had bitten her. There was a radiance about her. And ever since she became a werewolf she’d shone a bit brighter every day.

I don’t know how she couldn’t see it.

I can’t believe anyone else couldn’t see it either.

But that’s not why I love her, or why I followed her across the country just to be with her.

She’s so good—a real-life good person—so sweet and kind, in her backward kind of way, who wouldn’t love her?

And then there’s how stunning she is. Even with her hair pulled up in a messy bun, or right out of bed. She’s simply the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

Maybe my wolf chose her the instant he saw her… but so had I.

For once in my long life, my wolf and I had agreed completely.

About her…

I’d made her breakfast and packed her lunch for her, leaving a note on her pillow before I headed out. I had a job in a mid-priced, newer subdivision on the west side of Grayslake.

After what happened with the skinwalker I’d thrown myself into work. Back then it had been on Billy’s logging crew. But now I was a small time contractor again, and to be honest, it was nice creating and fixing things instead of chopping them down.

I’d dug in at the house on Ole Antangy. There were clogged gutters and two sections that needed to be replaced altogether.

That alone made me shake my head. This house and the ones around it were all less than ten years old. What substandard materials had the construction crews used to build a house that was showing such wear and tear so quickly?

Luckily the screws and nails used on the gutters were made of better grade material, so at least I didn’t have to fool with rust-stuck screws.

After that, I met a couple to do an estimate on renovating their basement. It was an older house, and the foundation was free of leaks or water damage, so that would be a much easier job than it might have been.

I had two more estimates to do… but it was about time for Chelsea to have her lunch.

So I drove downtown to Carly’s Burgers—they were out of cheese sticks, but I got Chelsea an order of loaded potato bites. I’d had them a few days ago when I first came to town and thought she’d like them.

She looked so damn good when she came out of Jerry’s Gas Station. The way her skin glowed, the way her dark hair blew in the breeze, the way her hazel eyes locked on me the moment she saw me and didn’t let me go until she had her arms around my neck and her lips feasting on mine.

Honestly, it was all a blur. But I do remember her smiling, and kissing me… and kissing me some more.

Somehow I ended up driving in the wrong direction to get to my next job, so I had to high tail it in the opposite direction to get there on time.

But I had snapped out of it by the time I got to the house on Montour.

It was a nice craftsman style that had seen better days, and the couple wanted to repair the roof, overhaul the porch and then start on the inside. They hadn’t moved in yet. Wisely, they decided that the remodeling of their dream home would go better if they didn’t have to live through it in person.

If you can afford it, it’s what I would recommend.

The good news was the inside was in better shape than the outside. The previous owners had kept up with updating plumbing and electrical work. Mostly I’d be pulling up the creaky teak flooring and replacing it with walnut laminate and giving each room a new paint job.

It would be weeks of steady work, so I started to plan it out in five parts.

By the time I left for home it had been dark for a while. I wanted to get some steaks and burgers from the grocery store—I’d worked up an appetite. And I was sure Chelsea would be famished once she got off work.

I’d thought about going out of my way not to go past the gas station. Not wanting to be a helicopter mate—whoa… I’d just thought of myself as Chelsea’s mate.

That was just going too far too damn fast!

Yeah, but it rang true enough in my head.

By the time I’d had this little mental argument with myself, I was already driving down the main drag and would be within visual range within seconds.

Oh well, I wasn’t seriously considering not going past…

Wait a minute…

I stopped my truck for a beat, my eyes honing in on the tableau taking up the entirety of the gas station parking lot.

Motorcycles, huge leather-clad bikers, and the door to the station being held open by one of the bikers.

There had to be twenty or more bikers.

I almost went for my phone, to call for that alpha bear sheriff and his whole department—hoping Chelsea had already run out the back when she saw them coming.

But that’s when a big old monster of a man came out of the gas station, and right on his heels two more men had a limp and bleeding Chelsea by the arms, pulling her along with them.

I was out of my truck and running toward the bikers before my mind had caught up.

I had my pocket knife out and took out the Achilles tendon of the first man I came upon—he dropped to the ground, but not before I smelled that he was a werewolf too.

Jesus… I didn’t know if I could take this many shifters. Fragile humans, sure… but shifters?

I stabbed the second wolf in the guts and spun and slammed the next into the parking lot pavement.

I would have to act as fast as I could if I wanted to save—

She made a wounded, pained sound that snapped my attention from eliminating the enemy to getting to her.

My wolf bared his teeth and we drove through their ranks like the scythe of Death himself.

But then a car hit me.

Out of nowhere a big black Pontiac Caliente from the seventies flew into the parking lot and rammed right into me, knocking me at least ten feet in its wake.

Nothing like a bulky, full metal muscle car to leave its mark after hitting you.

I tasted blood when my eyes snapped open and the overhead lights temporarily blinded me.

My blood.

What the… 

Chelsea!

I tried to push myself up off the pavement, but a big-ass shit kicker pressed down on my head, pinning me to the pavement.

“Those were some pretty moves you used there on my boys,” a gravelly voice said in an intimate tone. “I’m impressed.”

My next breath I took told me the man stepping on me was both a werewolf and a freaking loupe. I’d smelled this a few times before, and every time had made me want to throw up. The sickening sweetness of carrion, of rot and decay.

If this gang was led by a loupe alpha, they would go insane and go loupe with him.

I couldn’t let them take Chelsea anywhere.

I reached up and grabbed hold of the boot pinning my head to the ground.

I tried to push him off balance, but instead, he just slashed my hand with a knife.

A silver knife, from the way the cut burned like hellfire.

He used his big foot to stomp on my head, making the world spin and then shake like I was on the inside of the Liberty Bell.

I couldn’t hear anything for a beat or two, but when I did I heard, “This little fucker has my new bitch’s scent all over him!”

The foot came off my head and he grabbed me by the hair, pulling me up off the pavement and shaking me like a rag doll.

I could suddenly see Chelsea again, hanging between her two captors, an angry red mark along her eye and cheek, and blood dripping from her mouth.

“I’m going to kill you!” I roared. I didn’t care what I had to do; neither he nor any of his gang were going to touch Chelsea again.

I saw a shining arc as he brought his knife to my throat, and felt the telltale burn of its silver against my skin.

“I’m not much for sharing my humps,” he said, pulling my head back and up so he could slit my throat easier. “So you’re gonna have to die, little man.”

Chelsea’s eyes flew open, writhing with black flame.

In a split second, she simultaneously stood up and knocked the men holding her away from her as if they weighed nothing.

My mouth gaped as she rushed at us, the most stunningly angry expression I’d ever seen on her face.

She jumped into the air and a huge white wolf exploded out of her, fur gleaming, eyes burning and black, and her fangs exposed as she hit the loupe alpha like a load of bricks.

The silver knife was on the ground in front of me, and I heard the other man’s cries, and then wet gasping noises as wolf Chelsea ripped his throat out.

I pushed myself back up to my feet in time to see Chelsea spit a hunk of the loupe alpha out onto the ground. The man was motionless, and his blood was spreading in a circle around his head.

Wolf Chelsea growled her menace at the rest of the biker gang, and they all fell to their knees, some of them changing to their wolf forms involuntarily, and exposing their necks to her.

I don’t know if it was the over head lights of the gas station, but Chelsea’s wolf glowed like she was being lit by a freaking strobe light.

Maybe I’d just had my bell rung a little too hard by the Pontiac Caliente, and the loupe’s boot-clad foot, but I would swear my gorgeous lady love was full on lighting up the neighborhood.

I heard the whoop-whoop of the police cruiser a moment before the red and blue lights flooded the parking lot. Three of them descended on us at once, and I stumbled drunkenly over to put myself between them and Chelsea.

I had my hands up as the sheriff surged out of the cruiser with a deep and monstrous roar, his shotgun drawn and ready.

“Don’t shoot! The wolf is the good guy… girl—whatever, you know what I’m trying to say!”

The bikers started to move, but I heard Chelsea growl like a monster out of a fairytale movie adaptation, and they all went back to cowering on the ground at her feet.

For a tense moment I saw the sheriff sighting from one to the next of the bikers, and then on Chelsea.

“Stop!” I fell to my knees in front of her, trying to shield her with my body.

A moment of dead silence later the sheriff lowered his shotgun, shook his head and actually cracked the barest of grins.

“Is that Miss Moray, Lauren’s friend the Hungry Girl?”

Chelsea growled and I felt the weight of her dominance press down on me. Made my heart stop beating for a few beats, and made my already ringing head hurt like I was being hit in the head with a freaking brick.

“That’s her,” I said through the head-splitting pain. “She was just defending herself.”

The sheriff pursed his lips and looked around. “Looks like you finally shifted.”

I looked back at Chelsea and felt a massive swelling of pride for her in my chest.

She’d shifted, she was the most dominant wolf I’d ever felt… and she was fucking, epically magnificent.

“After you shift back,” the sheriff said, “you’ll have to order your clan to surrender to police custody until we can figure this shit all out.”

I blinked and then rubbed my eyes.

Her clan?

Oh, Jesus… this was going to be a hell of a mess.

Chapter 11

Chelsea

I have to confess, ripping a man’s throat out is absolutely disgusting.

But when that piece of crap put his knife to Benjamin’s throat my wolf and I had only one thought.

Kill him.

I probably would have killed more of them if they hadn’t been groveling on the ground.

I didn’t shift back right away. Guess my wolf had been cooped up enough and wasn’t ready to go back inside.

She is one scary girl, my wolf. No wonder I had felt so crazy and out of it.

Once she came out, that’s when I knew I hadn’t been whole.

I needed her, I needed to embrace and meld with her.

We needed each other.

It’s just good Benjamin wasn’t hurt worse. I can’t imagine she would’ve taken it well.

There would have been many more bodies for Ty and his department to clean up.

I still can’t believe I killed someone—we killed someone. But he would have killed Benjamin, and then, after he’d had his fill of torturing me, he’d have snuffed me out like a candle. Without a second thought.

So I don’t regret it.

What I do regret is that I ended up metaphysically linked to his utterly screwed up gang of werewolves.

I mean, really? Why do I have to be the one to sort out their murdering, raping, who-knows-what-else butts?

Sure, they’d been being pulled into their alpha’s diseased mind. So one could argue they, in a way, they couldn’t help it. I just can’t believe all of them couldn’t have fought against him.

They weren’t as far gone as the pack of loupe shifters who’d kidnapped me back in Cortez… or so Ty had said. After they’d been quarantined in a lockdown facility on the other side of the state, they’d started to snap out of their mania.

Not sure what this will lead to, but since I killed their alpha, I’m kind of on the hook for figuring out what to do with them. And though I’ve studied the royals, I have no idea what ruling over even a ragtag group of werewolves would involve.

Kill them all?

Kill the worst ones and rehabilitate the rest?

I was going to have to lean on Ty’s experience in governing a clan on this one.

But for the last week, I’d been seriously spending my time and energy looking after my Benjamin.

Sure, he’s a tough, kind of ancient werewolf hottie, and he totally healed his wounds seemingly overnight.

But he still got hit by a car.

Between the shock of almost losing him and my wolf’s newfound protective instincts, we were both going to need a little time to work through it all.

I also had a new job I needed to master, I had to realize that Benjamin couldn’t just stay with me at home or the gas station so I could watch over him.

It seemed so backward. For all that time he’d been the one watching over me, protecting me, and now…

But in typical Benjamin fashion, he just seemed to understand, and when I get overprotective he does his best not to make a big fuss—though he did tell me yesterday he was a big boy and had been taking care of himself long before he fell in love with a big bad alpha wolf protector.

He was so adorable when he talked like that.

I called my parents. That was a long, pretty darn painful conversation. But after a lot of tears and some yelling—mom has a temper—I promised to fly out and visit as soon as I could. I have a sneaking suspicion that they’ll beat me to it.

I’m just not sure how I’m going to deal with the whole being a werewolf thing.

On a more random, career-minded theme, I was eating yet another Hungry Bear platter when I struck up a conversation with a hoary older gentleman—a werehoney-badger—who’s writing a four-book series on the British monarchy. Turned out he was about to put out feelers in academia for a research assistant.

I peppered him with questions, about who he was including in his books, and what he thought of certain irregularities in the canon of the UK’s history—and he hired me on the spot.

It doesn’t pay much, so it will be strictly part-time. But he’s a fellow from Columbia and says I’ll be earning college credits along with my stipend.

It astounds me that I found my way back to the study of what I love most, and not back at school, but because I was changed into something I never thought I’d survive.

Life is funny like that. A million dots, a butterfly in a park, getting bitten by a craven, psychopath werewolf.

It’s all connected.

Now there was just one thing more I needed to address.

Chapter 12

“I don’t think we’re ready,” Benjamin said, his voice worried.

I threw his t-shirt—the one I’d forcefully pulled off over his head—onto my bedroom floor.

“We’re more than ready at this point.” I had been ready to do this for two weeks. But every time I initiated things he begged off, or I had an emergency call about my pack of social and moral deviants that had to be fielded immediately.

Whatever…

Tonight I was off from Jerry’s, I wasn’t scheduled for research work, and I was diverting all calls about my gang of werewolves to Ty down at the police station.

I pushed Benjamin and he toppled over backward onto my bed—boy did he look good, shirtless, on my bed.

“We are doing this tonight… whether it kills us both or not.”

He blew out a wolfy chuff of a laugh. “You sure know how to sweet talk a man.”

I pounced onto the bed, pulling off my top and letting Benjamin get a good long look at my bare breasts. I’d been asking Lauren and Roxy some questions about sex, and they both agreed that the best way to end any reticence in their fellas was to show them their boobs.

So, voila! Instant decision maker.

“Oh, Chelsea…” was all he got out.

One minute I was kissing him, the next he was doing something utterly dirty and wonderful to my nipples with his agile tongue. A few minutes after that there was oral foreplay and then he gave me some rather lavish orgasms using said tongue and his fingers.

Finally, I could take no more. There was something I needed. It was imperative.

“You need to be inside me,” I gasped, pushing him over on his back again and straddling him.

He was so amazingly hard, and my lady parts were on fire, pulsing and slick as black ice on the interstate.

With some breathless groping, some exasperating “aiming,” I felt him push himself up against my entrance.

Oh, boy was he big.

And as he slid that first inch inside me I felt everything inside me tighten up.

I wanted to be relaxed. Everyone from my friend Lauren to Naughty Sex Kitten Advisor all said being relaxed was key.

But as he slid in another inch I realized this was REALLY going to hurt.

Well, duh! I’m a freaking virgin. Of course, it was going to hurt.

I was just hoping against hope it wouldn’t. That I’d be the first gal in history to have a pain free first time.

Oh, sweet baby Jesus… and oh my freaking stars!

We’re talking searing, bite the tip of my tongue off agony.

This was a mistake… I see it now.

I was about to jump up off Benjamin and run off into the night, never to be seen again, when I felt something shift inside me. There was a warmth, and then a slickness, and then his cock pushed on up further into me.

It was like someone turned a switch on inside of me, and what had been tight and filled with pain was suddenly relaxed and opening up, and…

Well, before I knew it I was fully skewered on Benjamin’s magnificent penis.

It was wild and beautiful how our bodies fit together.

It was also really hot how slow he went, being gentle, and not just going all in.

I really didn’t think I’d get to have an orgasm my first time, but because of his excellent foreplay and oral exploration earlier, I’d already had a couple. So, once we started on this most excellent part of having sex, well…

I had my first full-on, yippy howl. My body went wild, exploding with ecstasy, waves of maddeningly wonderful pleasure surging through me as my lady parts clamped down on Benjamin’s throbbing cock.

I fell over onto his chest, spent, and suddenly, bonelessly relaxed. 

And then about twenty minutes later, and after a frozen pepperoni and sausage pizza, we went at it again, and I howled and howled and howled.

*The End*

Thank you so much for reading my book. If you liked this story, check out these other shifter romances.

Broken Bear: Grayslake, More than Mated

Claimed Bear, Book 1: Ferro Mountains

Risen Bear, Book 2: Ferro Mountains

Found Bear, Book 3: Ferro Mountains

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Also by Alice Bello

Better Off Dead: A Lucy Hart, Deathdealer Novel

Not Dead Yet: A Lucy Hart, Deathdealer Novel

Dead and Buried: A Lucy Hart, Deathdealer Novel (TBA)

Min’s Vampire

Andromeda’s Knight (TBA)

Hope Breaks

Hope Entangles

Hope Rises

Bette’s Turn

Raphael’s Way (TBA)

Hate Him (Book 1)

Hate Him (Book 2)

Hate Him (Book 3)

Lance’s Choice (TBA)

Want Him: A hate Him Prequel

Un-Dateable: A Novel

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12