DRESSED UP HANDSOME AND NOT POUNDED BECAUSE COSPLAY IS NOT CONSENT

By Chuck Tingle

When I was growing up, it seemed everything I cared about just put a huge target on my back for bullies and scoundrels. While other kids were dressing up in the jerseys of their favorite sports hero, I was wearing the uniform of my favorite star fleet captain. I read graphic novels and played videogames, calling a comic shop on the corner my home away from home. I spent way too much time there, sometimes buying playing cards or models, but mostly just hanging out with the few like minded folks in town who seemed to understand me.

As I got older, however, a strange thing started to happen. Instead of my interests becoming harder and harder to enjoy, they’ve only blossomed into a worldwide phenomenon. Geek culture has transitioned from a tiny sliver of the popular consciousness, to an enormous economic juggernaut across every industry. Instead of being the only guy who cares when my favorite superhero finally make their way across the big screen, I’m part of the tidal wave of fans all struggling to find tickets on opening night.

For some people in my position, this has been a frustrating journey, but I don’t mind at all. While I can understand the anger that comes with being ostracized for your interests, and then those interests becoming mainstream, I’m appreciative of the fact that I’m getting more exciting new content than ever. If others are late in joining the pack that realizes superheroes are fun and space travel is fascinating, then so be it.

Despite the rapid growth of this culture I love, I’m still in the unfortunate position of not being about to enjoy it much. With age comes responsibility, and a while I’d love to hang out at that old comic shop on the corner every day, I’ve gotta go to work.

It’s more than a little overwhelming trying to carve out time for the things that I enjoy. Working in a stuffy office building from nine to five will chew you up and spit you out, and by the time Friday finally rolls around I’m just too tired to do much of anything.

This is why my initial reaction is a hard pass when my friend, Jorn, ask if I want to head into the city this weekend.

“I’m just too tired,” I offer, sizzling hot plates of food sitting between us as we lounge in our favorite booth at the local diner. “I’ve been staying late at the office all week. I don’t know if I’m up for a crazy weekend.”

“I didn’t even tell you what we’ll be doing there!” my friend replies with a laugh.

I roll my eyes. “Fine. What’s this little plan of yours?”

“Tinglecon,” Jorn offers, the single word rolling off his tongue and hovering brilliantly in the air before him.

“Oh my god,” I gasp, my entire demeanor suddenly shifting.

Tinglecon is a convention of like-minded folks who gather once a year in celebration of all things science fiction and fantasy that make you tingle with delight. They’ve had incredible panels and guest appearances in the past, but the convention travels around the country and has never once been close enough to make the trip worth it. There were rumors bubbling up about a nearby appearance of the convention, but I’d completely forgotten until just this moment.

“It’s really happening?” I question.

Jorn nods. “This weekend.”
“Is it too late to get tickets?” I stammer.

Jorn smiles mischievously. “It depends on if you have a friend who knew you’d wanna go.” Jorn reaches into the bag settled next to his chair and pulls forth two tickets, placing them on the table between us so that I can bask in their glory. “Now, if you don’t want one then I can certainly find someone else,” my friend continues, “but I figured you’d want the first option.”

I’m overflowing with excitement now, barely able to contain myself. “Of course I’ll go!” I cry out, springing up from my seat and wrapping my arms around my friend. “Thank you so much. I can’t fucking wait.”

“You’re welcome, Clippo,” Jorn replies with a laugh. “Now all we need to do is figure out what we’re wearing.”

The second I hear this sentence my excitement kicks into overdrive. I’d completely forgotten about the part where we get to dress up as our favorite characters, arriving in style after crafting the perfect outfit. My mind is already flooded with various options, from a living corn to a bigfoot doctor lawyer.

“Who are you going as?” I question.

Jorn smiles playfully. “I was thinking about going as Gaygent Brontosaurus.

My eyes go wide at the mention of this notorious, prehistoric super spy. “That’s a sexy outfit. Very sophisticated.”

“Well, that’s my style,” Jorn replies with a laugh.

I’m not exactly sure which way I want to go with my costume, but upon hearing my friend’s choice I immediately start pushing things in a sexy and suave direction. There are just so many options to choose from.

Suddenly, it hits me.

“I’ll go as Darth Bater,” I finally announce, landing on my favorite character from the hit film, Butt Wars.

Jorn nods in appreciation of my choice. “We’re gonna have the best time ever.”

As we drive towards the convention center I can feel my heart thumping harder and harder within my chest. On one hand, I’m excited, but on the other hand, I’m incredibly nervous. While I’m absolutely in love with my Darth Bater outfit, my chest and abs are completely exposed.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a guy who’s proud of my body and have been prone to show it off, but right now I feel a little frightened by the prospect of revealing my bare skin to these thousands and thousands of convention goers.

Jorn notices the awkward look on my face from his position in the driver’s seat. “Everything okay?” my friend asks.

I nod. “I’m just… a little nervous.”

“What’s up?”

I open my coat a bit to expose my bare abs. “Are you sure it’s not too revealing?”

My friend considers this question for a moment. “Well, it’s not too revealing for me, but it’s not my decision. To be frank, it’s not anyone’s decision but your own. How do you feel about it?”

“I love the costume,” I tell him, confident in my answer. “And even though it shows a lot of skin, I like that it’s accurate to his outfit in Rogue Buns.”

“It’s very cool,” Jorn agrees. “Well, if that’s the case, then I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about. You look great and you did a really good job on your costume. If you feel like coming back to the car and changing into something else, though, just let me know and we’ll do it.”
Never before have I been so thankful for my friend, and his words immediately put me at ease. Strangely enough, I suddenly find myself perfectly comfortable in my own skin thanks to the fact that I know we’ve got an escape route.

Eventually, we find parking just a few short blocks away from the convention center and pull into an empty spot. We hand the lot attendant his outrageous fee and then begin our trek down the sidewalk, immediately joined by a horde of other convention attendees.

“Tinglecon!” someone cries out. “Let’s do this! Woo!”

Various other walkers around us erupt with similar hollers of jubilation.

The longer we exist in this horde of other fans, the more at ease I become. Everyone is having a great time, and we haven’t even arrived at the convention center yet. It feels like these are my people.

I feel safe.

The other encouraging thing is, for as skimpy as the outfits Jorn and me are wearing, there are plenty of others showing off an equal amount of skin.

“This is great,” is all I can manage to say, the words rolling out of my mouth softly as a mighty sense of community builds and builds within.

Soon, the convention center comes into view, the crowd around us growing exponentially larger as we approach the front gate.

“Here we go!” I cry out as me and Jorn begin to make our way into the tightly packed gathering.

It takes a while but eventually we manage to squeeze through, show our tickets, and arrive on the other side of the security gate. Immediately, I find myself overwhelmed with the sights and sounds of nerd fandom, booths and displays stretching out as far as the eye can see in every direction.

I can’t wait to dive in, but before we get started there’s something that needs to be addressed.

“You go ahead,” I instruct my friend. “I’ve gotta grab some food first, I’m starving.”

Jorn nods. “I’ll meet you at the Buttman booth in an hour,” he offers.

We wave goodbye and then split paths, Jorn heading deeper into the convention center while I make a sudden right and begin my journey towards the dining hall.

I arrive and order a simple slice of pizza, not wanting to waste to much time on this meal, then find a seat at an empty folding table. I quickly dive in, scarfing the food down until someone abruptly stops me in my tracks by sitting in the chair next to me.

I glance over that them, melted cheese dangling from my mouth.

“Hey,” the guy blurts, a reasonably handsome man dressed as a robot from some television show that I’m not familiar with.

“Hi,” is all that I can think to respond.

There’s something a little strange about the way this guy is approaching me, acting as though he’s known me for years and I just happen to have forgotten his name.

“Do I know you?” I finally question.

“You can get to know me,” the man offers in an unexpected reply.

The second the guy says this, a jolt of fear erupts through my body. To him, it’s just another day at Tinglecon, but to me this is a moment I’ll probably never forget. While the joy and excitement of this morning had given me to confidence to wear an outfit I might otherwise be uncomfortable in, I’m suddenly reminded of just how exposed I really am.

The man reaches out to touch my bare abs. His fingers creep closer and closer to my body as I freeze in a state of shock, but just as he’s about to reach me I finally force out a single word, blurting it forth at the top of my lungs.

“Stop!” I cry loudly.

Immediately, the whole dining hall falls silent, the crowd freezing as they turn to look in our direction. The man who was reaching out to touch me has halted abruptly, his fingers hovering in the air just inches away from my skin. He wears a confused look on his face, not quite sure what’s happening.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I stammer.

“Just trying to touch you,” he replies in a strange daze. I can tell that this man is not very smart, the words falling from his mouth in an empty mumble.

“What made you think you could do that?” I question.

“Your outfit,” the man replies, a long strand of drool dangling from the corner of his lips.

Before I can ask him any more questions, a team of uniformed security guards rushes over, grabbing the man and hoisting him to his feet roughly.

“We’re sorry about that,” the main security guard offers, a handsome T-Rex with rugged good looks and a sharp-toothed smile. This guard is slightly more festive than the rest, sporting a beautifully crafted superhero costume.

I read the dinosaur’s nametag quickly. “Thanks, Gorty,” I reply, struggling to maintain eye contact as the man reaching out for me is drug away behind him. “What was the deal with that guy?”

Gorty shakes his head. “It’s not just that guy, you’d be surprised how common this kind of thing is.”

“What kind of thing?” I continue.

“Men who think they have the right to touch someone or make rude comments just because they see another person dressed up in a costume they find attractive,” Gorty continues. “It’s an epidemic, really.”

“Well, that sucks,” I reply.

The handsome dinosaur nods. “We’re out here on patrol, doing what we can. There’s just a lot of this to deal with and we’re stretched a little thin.”

“What kind of guy would do something like that?” I continue.

Gorty takes a deep breath and then lets it out slowly. “Well, the men who assume someone else’s outfit is a personal invitation to them come from all walks of life, but there is one common thread that ties them all together.”

“What’s that?” I question, overflowing with curiosity.

“They’re all fucking idiots,” the prehistoric creature informs me flatly.

I suppose this makes sense.

Apparently, Gorty can tell from my expression that I’m not entirely satisfied with this answer. “You wanna come downstairs and watch the process?”

I’m not exactly sure what process my new dinosaur friend is talking about, but I’m excited to learn.

“Sure,” I reply with a nod.

Soon enough, Gorty is leading me through a nondescript door that places us in an empty white hallway, a far cry from the other hustling, bustling areas of this convention center. We’re behind the scenes now, delving deeper and deeper into the mysterious world that keeps these huge gatherings organized and moving forward.

Eventually, we come to a door and push through it, finding ourselves in a small room with a few of the other security guards. There’s a large window that faces yet another room, in which the man who tried to touch me sits alone at a table.

“Right now, we’re trying to determine if there’s any hope for him, or if he’s just going to be a self-entitled moron for the rest of his life,” whispers Gorty.

I realize quickly that what I’m looking through is an enormous pane of one-way glass. The man can’t see us watching.

A scientist in a long white lab coat enters the room before us, holding something oblong and yellow in his hand. The scientist places this yellow item on the table before his handsy subject, who stares at it blankly.

From here, I can now see that the object is a banana is dressed in tiny slack and a long sleeve shirt, completely covered up.

“Now, you are not to eat this banana,” the scientist instructs.

The handsy man nods with understanding, although it’s hard to tell how much he truly comprehends based on his facial expression.

“You can do whatever you want when I’m gone, except for eating this banana,” the scientist continues, making everything as clear as possible.

The man nods again, and with that, the scientist leaves.

Now the handsy man is sitting alone with his fully clothed banana.

From our own room behind the one-way glass, the security guards and me watch with rapt attention, curious to see what this idiotic guy will do now that he’s alone with the banana.

The answer, however, isn’t all that exciting, because the man does absolutely nothing.

Eventually, the scientist returns to the room, walking over to the table and collecting his uneaten banana. He then produces a second banana from his long lab coat, only this one is wearing nothing but a tiny pair of skimpy banana shorts.

“Alright, thank you for not eating the last banana, you did a good job,” the scientist begins. “I’m gonna leave you with this new banana. Whatever you do, don’t eat it.”

The scientist abruptly turns again and leaves the room once more.

Almost immediately, the handsy man’s demeanor has shifted. He’s staring at the exposed yellow fruit with a powerful intensity in his eyes, a singular focus unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

It only takes a matter of seconds before the man reaches out and attempts to grab ahold of this delicious food.

“Ah!” he suddenly cries out, pulling back his hand and shaking it in the air, a futile maneuver that he hopes will relieve the slightest bit of pain.

“What’s happening?” I lean over to ask Gorty, whispering the words under my breath.

“That banana contains an electric shock unit,” my new friend explains. “Every time someone touches it, the voltage increases.”

We watch as the handsy man continues to reach out and make his best attempt at grabbing the scantly clad banana that sits before him. Each and every time the man is seriously injured, to the point that smoke begins drifting up from his fingertips.

Eventually, security guards are forced to rush in and intervene before the handsy man seriously hurts himself.

“You see,” Gorty offers. “They’re all utter morons that have no understanding of personal space.”

“So what’s gonna happen with him?” I question.

“Well, he won’t be coming back to Tinglecon any time soon,” Gorty replies.

The two of us head out into the brilliant white hallway once more and continue our journey.

“So what happens if the subject can be rehabilitated?” I question.

Gorty seems a little upset by this query, clearly frustrated. “We’re trying our best to figure something out,” the dinosaur explains, “but the results have been disappointing, to say the least. Our scientists have come up with several methods, but most of the subjects are just too self-centered for them to take.”

We walk in silence for a moment before Gorty finally continues with another suggestion.

“You want to see?” the T-Rex security guard asks.

“Sure!” I reply, thankful for an even deeper look at the inner workings of Tinglecon.

We walk a little farther and then eventually push through another non-descript door, revealing a massive room full of long tables and folding chairs. Scientists are sitting across from a broad selection of men, asking them questions and then jotting their answers down on pads of paper. There must be at least a hundred subjects being monitored.

“Each one of these scientists is explaining why the subject can’t just go up and grab someone without their consent,” Gorty informs me. “Regardless of how they’re dressed.”
“It seems simple enough,” I reply.

Gorty nods. “It is, other than the fact that these guys are fucking idiots.”
The handsome T-Rex begins to lead me through the crowd, walking down the aisles and aisles of men as we listen in on their conversations.

“But what if he’s dressed as a mummy racecar?” one of the subjects is questioning. “That means he probably wants me to grab him.”

“Why would you think that means he wants to be grabbed by you?” the scientist question. “It’s just an outfit.”

“Because mummy racecars are hot,” the subject continues.

The scientist jots downs a few notes. “Nope, that’s incorrect. Someone’s attire is never an invitation for unwanted attention. Can you repeat that back to me?”

“Someone… someone’s attire… some…” the subject begins to stammer, struggling to force the words out of his mouth, but the sentence simply refusing to form.

The scientist conducting this interview just glances back over his shoulder at us and shakes his head, clearly frustrated by the results.

Gorty leads us further down the aisle. “As you can see, we’re at a bit of a road block with the majority of our subjects. Their feeble minds simply cannot seem to grasp even the most basic concepts that we present to them.”

Suddenly, I freeze. An icy bolt stabs into my heart, stopping me in my tracks as a familiar face appears at one of the tables before me. It’s Jorn.

“Oh my god,” I blurt, nearly stumbling over backwards from the shock.

“What is it?” Gorty questions.

“That’s my friend,” I offer, pointing.

I run over to the table, interrupting their session in a state of utter panic. “Jorn, please tell me this is some kind of mistake,” I blurt. “You’re not really here for what it looks like, are you?”

My friend just shrugs.

“You know this man?” the scientist running Jorn’s questions asks me.

I nod. “I do.”

“Well, I think he might be a lost cause at this point. Nothing seems to get through to him,” the scientist continues.

I just stare at my friend, or former friend, in utter disappointment, not quite sure how to handle the feeling of heartbreak that creeps its way through my body.

The scientist shows me the top page on his clipboard, a long series of questions that are almost entirely marked with incorrect answers.

I let out a long sigh. “Dammit,” is all that I can think to say.

“I don’t even get what the problem is!” Jorn protests. “The guy was wearing a unicorn butt cops outfit. Obviously, he wanted to be grabbed!”

I throw up my hands in frustration, letting loose with an angry cry the fills the room. “What the hell is wrong with you? How is it so hard to understand that cosplay is not consent?”

The second these words leave my lips I notice something strange and powerful flicker across Jorn’s face, a microscopic expression of acknowledgement that had been completely absent from all the other subjects.

“Wait a minute. What was that?” the scientist in charge of Jorn blurts out, jotting down a few more things on his notepad.

The scientist stands up and waves me towards his chair, which sits directly across from Jorn.

“Please, keep talking,” the scientist says. “I’ll observe.”

I lean forward, looking my friend deep in the eyes and trying my best to connect with him on some basic, primal level. “Do you understand why you’re here?” I question.

“Because the guy in the unicorn butt cops outfit asked me to grab him,” replies Jorn.

I shake my head immediately. “No. He didn’t ask you to do that. Did you hear him ask you?”

My friend shakes his head. “Not with words.”

“Then how did he ask you?” I continue.

“With what he was wearing,” Jorn continues.

“That’s not real,” I inform Jorn bluntly. “You fucking moron. That’s not real.”

My friend just stares at me blankly, but seconds later another strange expression of recognition crosses his face.

“What you did is not good,” I explain. “In fact, it’s assault. You can’t just go around grabbing people like that, regardless of what they’re wearing.”

“I can’t?” Jorn asks, looking more and more distraught.

Behind me, Gorty and the scientist are growing with excitement, clearly seeing a kind of progress that is rarely witnessed.

“No, you can’t,” I reply.

Jorn furrows his brow, clearly shaken up but this conversation. “Damn, I really messed up. Huh?”

“You did,” I confirm with a nod.

“I’m sorry,” Jorn offers.

I don’t reply.

“Whoa!” the scientist suddenly interrupts, tapping me on the shoulder. “This is remarkable. Come with us for a moment.”

I stand as Gorty and the scientist pull me aside, locked in a huddle now as we speak in hushed, yet excited, tones.

“I can’t believe it,” the scientist begins, the words billowing out of his mouth in rapid succession. “We’ve tried to explain it to these guys in so many different ways that we forget the most important variable. We forget to change who was doing the explaining. It appears that if a friend of the subject steps in and tells them what they’re doing isn’t cool, then the subject is significantly more likely to change.”

I glance back over at Jorn, who is now staring off in complete silence. He seems very upset with himself.

“It appears that a powerful first step is for friends to let other friend know when they’re acting like self-entitled pricks,” the scientist continues. “It’s not much, but it’s a start.”

Gorty is clearly thrilled with this news, turning to me with a huge smile plastered across this face. “This is amazing!” the dinosaur blurts. “Maybe with a little time we can integrate your friend Jorn back into society!”

I consider the head security guard’s words for a moment, mulling them over while I struggle with the variety of emotions that flood through my body, the feelings mixing together like a strange and unexpected cocktail.

I take a deep breath and then let it out slowly, centering myself.

“Don’t get me wrong, that’s good news,” I finally reply, “but Jorn’s responsible for himself. I’ll tell my friends when they’re being jerks, but I’m more interested in doing that before they act, not after.”

“I’m not quite sure what you mean,” Gorty continues.

“I mean… it’s nice that you’ve learned friends can break through to these people, but Jorn’s not my friend anymore. It’s okay if other folks want to pull their buddies out of the swamp, but I want to move on, and that’s my choice. The person responsible for Jorn’s actions is Jorn.”

With that, I turn around and begin to make my way back to the convention hall. I’m thankful that Gorty and the scientists have found a solution, but right now I deserve to have some fun. I’m not interested in spending this weekend teaching jerks how to behave, I’m interested in treating myself to a good time, surrounded by good people, and proving love in my own way.

At the end of the day, what I do with my time, and my body, is up to me.

Some say that love is the soul of books, and what better way to show a little love then with a free gift?  Here to tingle you to the core is a bonus story for your reading pleasure:

DR. CHUCK TINGLE’S COMPLETE GUIDE TO TIME

(A Selection)

TIME AND OTHER REALITIES

It’s hard to imagine anything in the universe without the help of time, but it’s this ubiquity that causes time itself to be so strange.

We all have a deep and powerful relationship with this force as it flows through and around us over every passing second. Without time, I couldn’t write this guidebook, and you couldn’t read it.

Even if we try our best to picture a truly static noun, like a frozen red ball that’s simply existing without the aid of time, we quickly find ourselves overwhelmed with more questions than answers.

How did the ball get there without the help of time? Has it always existed, and will it always stay?

We know this ball is red because of the light that exists between our eyes and its colorful surface, but without time this light can’t move, rendering color meaningless.

Suffice to say, time is an incredibly potent force, and one that has fascinated the sentient beings who experience it for ages.

Fortunately, what you hold in your hands is a comprehensive guide to the profound magic and mystery of time, and an in depth analysis of how time affects the reality around us. We will delve into notable historical periods from the past and future, from this timeline to the next, and also discuss what happens when someone travels from one timeline to another.                            Since the beginning of all things, every action taken within our universe has created many alternate timelines in its wake.

The simplest way to understand this phenomena is to imagine that they’ve got two buttons before you, one of them green and one of them blue. What happens when you push each button is inconsequential, but what does matter is the choice itself. As time continues to pass around us, each choice that we make creates another timeline, one where we picked the green button, and one where we picked the blue.

Our conscious awareness is only tied to one of these timelines, so we are unaware of the other paths left untraveled, but they do exist somewhere in the multiverse.

Of course, every choice is not just binary. While some decisions in our life are as simple as a green or blue button, others are created from a multitude of choices. Instead of just two buttons to press, there could be ten, twenty, or a million.

Imagine that, instead of pressing one of the buttons, your new task is to create a name for the button. You begin to search your brain for good, strong names like Tarpo Hobbis or Beef Greems, but there are just too many names to choose from. Finally, you simply decide to call the button Chuck, creating one timeline for this name, and an almost infinite amount of separate realities for each other moniker left unselected.

How many names do you suppose exist? This is how many timelines you’ve created out of this simple button-naming task.

Even more astounding is the added variation when you consider the speed at which these button are pushed or named; a multitude of tiny differences creating reality after reality, all erupting from every single insignificantly small moment. When you consider all the living beings wandering through this universe creating moments of their own, it’s difficult to truly comprehend just how many different timelines are out there.

While the number of timelines is technically not infinite, it’s about as close as you can get.

Because these alternate realities have been bubbling up since the universe began, when the fundamentals of physics and basic existence we’re still young, it’s easy to see how some of these other timelines could be drastically different than ours.

Alternately, on some timelines life is almost exactly the same, only that the color of the sun is slightly greenish instead of orange. This is what you would call a nearby timeline, as the differences between ours and theres are so slight that you might never even notice. These timelines are placed close together on the timeline stack, while the distant timelines can be found farther down the pile.

On these farther timelines, the fundaments of reality will be altered. It’s possible some major historical event could’ve never happened, or through the process of evolution, a different family of animals gained dominance over mammals.

Even farther still are the extremely distant timelines. These outer realms have little to do with our perception of reality, places where existence itself is nearly incomprehensible (at least from our vantage on this point of the timeline stack). In these exceptionally distant realities, the very concept of sentient awareness could be skewed, or time itself may move at a drastically different rate.

While it may seem like The Void falls into this final category of extremely distant timelines, this is not actually the case. The Void is a place of nothingness, and it exists outside of the timeline stack. While timelines are layers of reality that represent everything which could be, The Void is everything that couldn’t be.

If you’re interested in learning more about The Void, a great resource is Dr. Chuck Tingle’s Complete Guide To The Void.

Before we delve into important segments of our own timeline, I’d like to discuss some notable timelines that could’ve been.

NEARBY TIMELINES

These timelines exist within our general vicinity on the timeline stack. They contain only a very slight variation, which could often go unnoticed by inexperienced timeline travelers. In some ways, this makes nearby timelines just as dangerous as distant ones, because it can be difficult to tell when you’ve truly returned home.

THE BEE TIMELINE

After experiencing a painful bee sting one summer at the park, I was confronted by the horrible fact that there’s no readily available antidote to help with this incredibly common pain.

While icing the spot of the sting or taking a painkiller are often recommended solutions, I quickly discovered that the remedies of this reality are hardly adequate. Looking for relief, I decided to go deeper.

Unfortunately, timeline travel is not an exact science, and while I’d been aiming for a very close layer of reality on which topical bee sting ointment was more effective, I went slightly farther than intended.

The next thing I knew, I’d discovered a reality where bee stings are a source of great pleasure, a sensation almost perfectly reversed from that on our timeline.

While most of this reality was indistinguishable from ours, the changes showed themselves in small ways. Bee sting cafes were quite common, including two locations in Billings, and most spas offered stings as part of their routine relaxation service.

RUBBLES WILSON’S SUPERBOWL WIN TIMELINE

While some nationally televised events can change history significantly, others have strangely insignificant ripples through the timelines around them, regardless of how many people are tuned in. While it is true that sometimes the flap of a butterfly’s wings can set in motion avalanches of vastly different alternate histories, sometimes the flapping of wings are just that and nothing more.

One such event is Superbowl Forty Nine, pitting the Seattle Hawkmen against Paul And The Reveres.

On this timeline, this Superbowl was devastating for Hawkmen fans, as quarterback Rubbles Wilson decided to throw a pass from the one-yard line during the final moments of the game, going with a creative and ultimately disastrous play rather than handing the ball off to the notoriously reliable and handsome player, Marshalls Lunch.

This caused the Hawkmen to lose an important game they could’ve easily won, and prompted Ted Cobbler to yell with excitement from the living room of his house next door. Ted Cobbler is a huge fan of Toms Bradly, quarterback of Paul And The Reveres.

As a supporter of The Hawkmen, I was particularly devastated. I still enjoy visiting the nearby timeline where Rubbles Wilson handed off the ball to Marshalls Lunch and easily won Superbowl Forty Nine, not because the place is vastly different (it’s not), but because I enjoy quietly basking in this alternate reality, soaking it all in.

DISTANT TIMELINES

Distant timelines are located farther away on the timeline stack, but not so far that they’re completely foreign and bizarre. Typically, these realities will still feature a similar galactic composition, with planets revolving around stars in a way that is recognizable to our laws of physics. However, the way life is experienced on Earth in a social, political, or even geological sense may be vastly different.

ISLAND TIMELINE

I first visited the island timeline after a small fight with Jon, who was upset when I painted his car as a birthday gift. Unfortunately, I’m not as good at painting as I thought, and it was very difficult to repair the damage.

While grounded in my room, I decided to escape to a nearby timeline for a while, forgetting my troubles in a distant place without the problems of this life.

Hoping for something tropical, I arrived in this alternate reality to find a very different Billings than the one I was used to. On this timeline, the Earth’s continents never formed to create giant landmasses. Instead, dry land was sporadically placed across the globe in various island chains. While the amount of water in this timeline’s ocean appeared to be relatively the same as ours, this dispersion of usable space created some interesting effects.

Politically speaking, there was very little power disparity between the island nations, simply because they all contained a relatively like amount of finite resources. None of the islands were much larger than the others, and while some of them did band together to create political units, this practice was rare.

Instead of war, the history of this reality was mostly noted by intense sporting competition. Even this was rare, however, as the island vibes kept most people cool and calm, opting to relax at the beach rather than starting a fight with their neighbors.

While visiting this timeline I participated in the laid-back lifestyle, hanging a hammock between two palms and writing out a few tinglers as I swayed in the breeze. While chocolate milk was hard to come by in this strange reality (thanks to the lack of cows or space for them to graze), coconut milk was absolutely everywhere. Adding a little chocolate syrup to one of these delicious cocktails was all I needed to get my chocolate milk fix.

By the time I returned to my own timeline, the disagreement between Jon and me seemed like a thing of the past.

NAP TIMELINE

In this timeline, naps have completely taken over culture and society across the globe, and while it tends to be a very peaceful place, it’s also lacking in many fundamental basics of modern technology.

Realizing that naps are amazing, the people of this alternate reality began to include them in their daily schedule as an official government mandate. This practice started in the United States and then spread out across the world as others got jealous of all that lazy days.

Soon enough, these mid-day breaks were being enjoyed in every corner of the globe.

People were very happy on this timeline but, soon enough, nap times started to grow longer and longer, until eventually only three hours of the day were used for taking care of business transactions or running errands.

Unfortunately, three hours is not quite long enough for people to get everything done, causing a swift collapse in the basics of human society. Technological progress ground to a halt as humans, unicorns and bigfeet slept their days away.

Only living objects, who do not require sleep, continued to perform their duties.

Soon enough, an entirely new society of sentient objects began to emerge, running the world while the rest of us slept.

They took over everything.

Back on this reality, the film Trechcoat Man O’ Trenchcoat Man: A Kenna Reeves Tale would be released, based on the nap timeline.

VERY DISTANT TIMELINES

These places are strange and unruly, barely hanging onto our basic rules of existence, and sometimes disregarding them entirely.

TIMELINE OF THE FROZEN LAKE

On this timeline, all cosmic matter and energy functions in an entirely different way.

Instead of a universe of stars and planets, the timeline of the frozen lake is primarily made up of freezing cold water under a thick barrier of ice. While it appears that there could be more to this layer of reality beyond the ice sheet, I have never been able to successfully crack through it.

Upon exploring the rest of this reality, I began to encounter a number of strange creatures, reminiscent of those you’d find at the bottom of the frozen lake. Some large and aggressive species of crab call these icy waters home, and although they are not Void Crabs, they appear to share a distant ancestry.

Even larger creatures than this lurk within the depths, but often they are too enormous to fully comprehend the shape of. Instead, you can simply feel the pulse of the water as they pass by, causing you to drift away in a powerful wave. When you shine a light in their direction, only a wall of moving, scaly flesh can be seen sweeping through the water.

Like the crabs, these large underwater creatures bear a striking resemblance to the cosmic horrors of The Void, despite the fact that these beasts are not directly from The Void itself.

During my time in this strange place, I often heard the sound of crunching marbles drifting out through the darkness around me.

TV TIMELINE

One particularly unusual timeline that I’ve visited is the Television Timeline, a reality that appears relatively similar to our own, at first glance, but plays by an entirely different set of rules when you peek just below the surface.

On the Television Timeline, there are two types of beings.

First, are the actors, who live in a very similar fashion to the lifestyles we know on this timeline. An actor will go to work, have hobbies, and run errands just like anyone else would. The thing that sets them apart, however, is that they’re actually performing actions from a script, which is provided to them. These actors go by names that are not their own, and are in a constant state of performance from morning until night. They participate in multiple takes of certain important scenes, and frequently go over blocking for the cameras that are scattered across the Television Timeline.

The other type of people on the Television Timeline are crew members, who can hold a variety of jobs. Some of the crew are makeup and hair stylists, who step in every so often to touch up their actors. Others will be script supervisors, who help to make sure everyone is saying their lines correctly and that nothing has been left out.

In a much more powerful crew position are the directors, who watch over everything from just off camera. The directors can interact with actors and other crew members in almost any way they see fit, asking for lines to be redone or for entire sets to be changed.

The sets, of course, make up the physical structure of the Television Timeline. In my time there, I never left these sets, and it is my belief there is nothing more than sets across this entire reality. Above, a ceiling covered in catwalks is visible, but it’s much too high to climb to.

The sets vary widely, from standard homes, street corners and grocery stores to enormous underwater tanks complete with coral reefs or pirate ships.

It is likely that, on this timeline, there are no planets or stars, just an endless expanse of sets built next to one another.

NOTABLE ERAS OF NATURAL HISTORY

Though other timelines can be fascinating and unique, the history of our own timeline is just as incredible. Since the dawn of reality, existence has gone through a number of changes, some of them small and some of them shaking the entire formation of worlds.

While some events are political and social, others would take place whether sentient life was here to witness them or not. These are moments in time that are deeply important to the natural shape of our universe.

THE BIG BANG

This timeline started with what scientists describe as The Big Bang. At this point there was no existence, only the endless cosmic Void. It was a dark and scary place full of all things that will never be and have never been, an infinite sea of cosmic horror that would cause even the most mentally stable individuals to shake and drool in awe.

Out of all this, however, something incredible happened. While there is fierce debate surrounding exactly why this explosion of love occurred, our existence alone is enough to show that love did, in fact, erupt from this endless nothingness, regardless of why.

This is a question that has haunted mankind for ages, but the answer is quite easy if you travel back and observe the beginning of our universe in the ways that I have.

Here’s why.

The description I just used for what came before The Big Bang is not entirely accurate, but often used because it’s easy to visualize an endless, empty Void. To be perfectly specific, however, there were still minor traces of existence in the rapidly collapsing universe that came before this one.

This is because, while the layers of reality are stacked like disks on top of one another, they’re also accessible through linear time as each universe expands and contracts over an enormous amount of millennia.               Before The Big Bang was a previous big bang, and another one before that. This constant cycle is where each alternate timeline exists, and for each layer of reality there is a specific Big Bang to house it.

The first Big Bang, however, remains a mystery.

As we’ve discussed before, the number of timeline variations is astronomically large, but it’s not infinite. Only those who’ve traveled to the absolute depths of the Tingleverse will know for certain, and this is a trip that’s too dangerous for even the most seasoned timeline travelers to make.

THE SPARK OF LIFE

On this timeline, the first sentient beings were living objects, specially living pebbles at the bottom of the ocean. For billions of years the Earth hurtled through space without any sentient life, but after a long enough time the rocks began to find this quiet boring.

At this point, the rocks went from ordinary rocks to living objects, and although they could now chat with one another to pass the time, they still didn’t have much to do.

Over time, more and more pebbles became self aware, forming a community and developing the first cultures of this timeline. Eventually, they started to change their shape, which is an incredibly slow and difficult process for a rock.

Eventually, these rocks abandoned their rocklike qualities completely, going from living pebble to small amoeba. They began to float together through the vast oceans, developing more and more abilities like moving and eating.

When these creatures grew bored of the ocean, and climbed up onto the land, gradually developing into the vast array of life forms that we know today.

The fact that all life on Earth is directly related to living objects is one of the reasons that this entire species is so revered, and also why there are so many different types of living objects in our modern time. These handsome beings can range from a blade of grass to an entire city, from a fleeting idea to an abstract concept, and it all started with a few tiny pebbles hoping to pass the time.

THE ICE AGE

In a long forgotten era, dinosaurs, unicorns, and living objects were the only sentient beings on Earth. It would be several billion years before bigfeet and humans evolved, but other than this, society remained fairly similar. These ancient dinosaurs had beautifully engineered cities, complete with skyscrapers that towered high and paved city streets to host their handsome living cars.

Meanwhile, unicorns remained on the fringes of society, keeping to themselves out in the wilderness. While they were not as technologically advanced as the dinosaurs, they made up for it with their natural penchant for magic. This created a fairly even power dynamic between the dinosaurs and the unicorns, while the living objects didn’t much care about anything other than working hard and partying on the weekends.

Eventually, the early dinosaurs began to explore space, first heading off to the moon and then expanding outward across the galaxy with a series of extraterrestrial outposts. During this time, the dinosaurs also gained a powerful perspective on just how finite Earth’s resources are. They quickly began their search for a larger, more hospitable planet, which was eventually discovered and named Earth 2.

This colonization came just in time, as it is about the same moment in history that the dinosaur astronomers noticed an enormous, handsome comet headed towards Earth. Despite their advanced technology, this giant rock was much too large to intercept or attempt to destroy, prompting nearly all dinosaurs on the planet to leave and begin life anew on Earth 2.

Meanwhile, the unicorns made it very clear they were not interested in leaving their home world. Of course, based on their lack of technology, very few of these regal creatures could’ve left even if they wanted to.

Fortunately, their magical prowess paid off when the unicorns created enormous energy shields through sacred ritual, vastly mitigating the damage from the falling comet. The comet was not entirely destroyed, however, and the dust from its impact caused the Earth to become incredibly cold.

This temperature change forced the once wild and free unicorns to buckle down and push forward with technological advancement, constructing some of the best indoor heating units the world has ever know, most of which are still on the market today.

During this time, society remained quite similar to what it had been. Most winter sports were invented during this era, as the unicorns were looking for something to do, and the fact that most unicorns are naturally gifted hockey players is typically attributed to these harsh conditions.

Once the Earth began to warm again, many of the dinosaurs who’d left for Earth 2 began to return, joining with a society that had now developed to have an equal appreciation for both technology and magic.

Also by Chuck Tingle…

Dinosaur Tinglers

My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass

Gay T-Rex Law Firm: Executive Boner

Gaygent Brontosaurus: The Butt Is Not Enough

Professor T-Rex Teaches Me Gayness

Lonely Author Pounded By Dinosaur Social Media Followers

President Domald Loch Ness Tromp Pounds America’s Butt

Pharma Bro Pounded In The Butt By T-Rex Comedian Bill Murky And A Clan Of Triceratops Rappers Trying To Get Their Album Back

Dinosaur Magicians Pinn And Tucker Make Their Weiners Disappear In My Butt

Schrodinger’s Butt

Space Raptor Butt Invasion

Space Raptor Butt Redemption

Space Raptor Butt Ascension

Space Raptor Butt Trilogy

Stranger Pounds

Chef Woolly Mammoth Eats My Butt

Domald Tromp Pounded In The Butt By The Handsome Russian T-Rex Who Also Peed On His Butt And Then Blackmailed Him With The Video Of His Butt Getting Peed On

Slammed In The Butt By The Prehistoric Megalodon Shark Amid Accusations Of Jumping Over Him

Butt Butt Land: Ryan Goslins And The City Of Butts

Open Wide For The Handsome Sabertooth Dentist Who Is Also A Ghost

England’s Ass Is Haunted By A Hung Parliament

T-Rex Anal Workout

Game Of Butts: The Pounds Of Winter

The Call If Coming From Inside Your Butt

The Hard Way: Anally Seduced By The Handsome Pterodactyl High Roller

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Butt Raptor

Slammed In The Butt By A Poorly Rendered Computer Generated Blue Genie

Chuck’s Dinosaur Tinglers: Volume 1

Chuck’s Dinosaur Tinglers: Volume 2

Chuck’s Dinosaur Tinglers: Volume 3

Chuck’s Dinosaur Tinglers: Volume 4

Chuck’s Dinosaur Tinglers: Volume 5

Chuck’s Dinosaur Tinglers: Volume 6

Unicorn Tinglers

Taken By The Gay Unicorn Biker

My Ass Is Haunted By The Gay Unicorn Colonel

Pounded By The Gay Unicorn Football Squad

Unicorn Butt Cops: Beach Patrol

Anally Yours, The Unicorn Sailor

Top Horn: Turned Gay By The Unicorn Pilots

Hunter Dentist Pounded In The Butt By Cecil The Handsome Unicorn

Butt Wars: Rogue Buns

Fake News, Real Boners

Heavy Metal Unicorn Lawyer Sings Into My Butthole Legally

Chuck’s Unicorn Tinglers: Volume 1

Chuck’s Unicorn Tinglers: Volume 2

Chuck’s Unicorn Tinglers: Volume 3

Bigfoot Tinglers

Pounded By President Bigfoot

Bigfoot Sommelier Butt Tasting

Seduced By Doctor Bigfoot: Attorney At Large

Bigfoot Pirates Haunt My Balls

The Curse Of Bigfoot Butt Camp

Bigfoot Settler’s Claim My Butthole

Dan Bigfootzerian Parties In My Butthole With His Billionaire Lifestyle

Eight Bigfoot Buckaroos Hate My Butt And Pound It

Pokebutt Go: Pounded By ‘Em All

The Butt Files: The Case Of Bigfoot’s Weiner

Buttnite Buttle Royale

Don’t Vote For Virginia Congressional Hopeful Denber Wiggleman Because He Is Full Of Hate, Not Because Bigfoot Makes Him Hard

Chuck’s Bigfoot Tinglers: Volume 1

Chuck’s Bigfoot Tinglers: Volume 2

Chuck’s Bigfoot Tinglers: Volume 3

Chuck’s Bigfoot Tinglers: Volume 4

Living Object Tinglers

I’m Gay For My Living Billionaire Jet Plane

Trained By The Living Biker Train

Pounded By The Gay Color Changing Dress

Turned Gay By The Living Alpha Diner

Glazed By The Gay Living Donuts

Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt

Pounded In The Butt By My Book “Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt”

Pounded In The Butt By My Book “Pounded In The Butt By My Book ‘Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt’”

Pounded In The Butt By My Book “Pounded In The Butt By My Book ‘Pounded In The Butt By My Book “Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt”’”

Buttception: A Butt Within A Butt Within A Butt

Vampire Night Bus Pounds My Butt

Shared By The Chocolate Milk Cowboys

Reamed By My Reaction To The Title Of This Book

Angry Man Pounded By The Fear Of His Latent Gayness Over A Dinosaur Transitioning Into A Unicorn

Slammed Up The Butt By My Hot Coffee Boss

The State Of California Stalks My Butthole

Pounded In The Butt By My Leaked Mashly Addison Data

Happy Birthday Frankenstein, Now Pound My Butt

Oppressed In The Butt By My Inclusive Holiday Coffee Cups

Monday Pounds Me In The Butt

Creamed In The Butt By My Handsome Living Corn

Slammed In The Butthole By My Concept Of Linear Time

Pounded By My Handsome Ghost Boats

Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union

Slammed By The Substantial Amount Of Press Generated By My Book “Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union”

Slammed In The Butt By Domald Tromp’s Attempt To Avoid Accusations Of Plagiarism By Removing All Facts Of Concrete Plans From His Republican National Convention Speech

First Buckaroo Bill Pounded By The Handsome Living White House

Pounded In The Butt By My Hugo Award Loss

Kissed On The Weiner By My Own Weiner

Slammed In The Butt By My Smartphone’s Missing Headphone Jack

Brangelina Splits Apart And Then Pounds Their Own Butt

Pounded In The Butt By My Constantly Changing Thoughts On The Ongoing Mystery Of Chuck Tingle’s Real Identity

Slammed In The Butt By The Handsome Sentient Manifestation Of Election Day

Hard For Hardwick: Pounded In The Butt By The Physical Manifestation Of My Own Handsome Late Night Comedy Show

Pounded In The Butt By The Sentient Physical Manifestation Of The Year 2016

Redacted In The Butt By Redacted Under The Tromp Administration

Pounded By The Sentient Manifestation Of My Incorrectly Announced Best Picture Winner

Domald Tromp Pounded In The Butt By His Fabricated Wiretapping Scandal Made Up To Redirect Focus Away From His Seemingly Endless Unethical Connections To Russia

The Handsome Pretendo Swap Joysicks And Portable Screen Slam My Butt While Also Allowing Me To Control My Game

Pounded In The Butt By The Sentient Manifestation Of My Own Ignorant Climate Change Denial

Pounded In The Butt By My Second Hugo Award Nomination

Domald Tromp’s Ass Is Haunted By The Handsome Ghost Of His Incriminating Tax Returns

Pounded In The Wallet And The Butt By The Failed Fyber Music Festival

I’m In Love With The Handsome Mummy Racecar In My Butt

Living Corn James Corny Fired In The Butt

Pounded In The Butt By My Book “Pounded In The Butt By My Book ‘Pounded In The Butt By My Book “Pounded In The Butt By My Book ‘Pounded In The Butt By My Book “Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt”’”’”

Slammed By My Handsome Fidget Spinner

Pounded In The Butt By Covfefe

There’s A Bitcoin In My Butt And He Is Handsome

Domald Tromp Jr. Slammed In The Butt By His Secret Russian Meetings And The Grossly Incompetent Cover Up Shortly Thereafter

Pounded In The Butt By The Fact That It Took Less Time For This Book To Be Written And Published Than The Entire Length Of Tony Scarymoochy’s Term As White House Communications Director

My Butt Is Comforted By The Realization That I’m Okay And Everything Will Be Alright

Billionaire Elons Mugg Takes The Handsome Planet Mars In His Butt

The Handsome Physical Manifestation Of Autumn Turns Me Gay

Pounded By The Handsome Zombie Elevator Who Is Also A Lawyer

Sentient Fort Pauls Manofort Is Charged In The Butt While Tromp’s Foreign Policy Advisor Georgie Papadop Admits He Lied About Hiding Inside

Pounded In The Butt By The Handsome Physical Manifestation Of Holiday Shopping

Sentient Phantom Tow Truck Pounds My Butt

Slammed In The Butt By My Handsome Laundry Detergent Pod

Taken Hotly By My Handsome Physically Manifested Hot Take

Pounded In The Butt By The Sentient Physical Manifestation Of Valentine’s Day

My Handsome Mountain Bike Is A Doctor And He Pounds My Butt

Rammed In The Butt By The Handsome Sentient Manifestation Of Traffic Who Is A Bad Boy

Pounded In The Butt By My Podcast “Night Vale Presents Pounded In The Butt By My Podcast With Chuck Tingle”

News Commentator Sam Hannity Pounded In The Butt By The Fact That He Didn’t Disclose He Has The Same Lawyer As The President

Seduced By The Handsome Physically Manifested Sound That Some People Hear As Yanny And Others Hear As Laurel

Tuesday Pounds Me In The Butt

Wednesday Pounds Me In The Butt

Thursday Pounds Me In The Butt

Friday Pounds Me In The Butt

Saturday Pounds Me In The Butt

Sunday Pounds Me In The Butt

A Pound A Day Keeps The Butt OK: 7 Hardcore Tales Of Physically Manifested Days Of The Week

The Banana In My Butt Is A Handsome Lifeguard

Veep Throat: Mike Bence Pounded In The Butt By The Word Lodestar

Wereplane Butt Party

Pounded In The Butt By The Blue Wave

Pounded In The Butt By The Unexpectedly Early Arrival Of Christmas Decorations

Not Pounded In The Butt By Anything And That’s Okay

Not Pounded In The Butt By My Book “Not Pounded In The Butt By Anything And That’s Okay” And That’s Okay

Pounded In The Butt By The Physical Manifestation Of Awkward Political Dinner Discussion Over The Thanksgiving Holiday

The Federal Government Shuts Down My Butt

Slammed In The Butt By My Sentient Plant Based Vegetarian Cheeseburger

Pounded In The Butt By The Handsome Sentient Manifestation Of My Twitch Stream

There’s A Polar Vortex In My Butt And He Is Handsome

Not Pounded At The Last Second Because Consent Can Be Given And Revoked At Any Moment And This Is A Wonderful Thing That’s Important To Understand

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 1

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 2

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 3

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 4

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 5

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 6

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 7

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 8

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 9

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 10

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 11

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 12

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 13

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 14

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 15

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 16

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 17

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 18

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 19

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 20

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 21

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 21

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 22

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 23

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 24

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 25

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 26

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 27

Chuck’s Living Object Tinglers: Volume 28

Self Help

Dr. Chuck Tingle’s Complete Guide To Romance

Dr. Chuck Tingle’s Complete Guide To Sport

Dr. Chuck Tingle’s Complete Guide To The Void

Dr. Chuck Tingle’s Complete Guide To Film

Dr. Chuck Tingle’s Complete Guide To Time

Novels/Other

Helicopter Man Pounds Dinosaur Billionaire Ass (A Novel)

Buttageddon: The Final Days Of Pounding Ass

Scary Stories To Tingle Your Butt: 7 Gay Tales Of Terror

Scary Stories To Tingle Your Butt: 7 Gay Tales Of Terror Vol. 2

Pounded By Politics: Nine Tales Of Civic Butthole Diplomacy

Pounded By Politics Again: Nine More Tales Of Civic Butthole Diplomacy

Breaking The Fourth Butt: Eight Hot-To-Trot Meta Tinglers

Breaking The Fourth Butt Volume 2: Eight More Hot-To-Trot Meta Tinglers

Handsome Sentient Food Pounds My Butt And Turns Me Gay: Eight Tales Of Hot Food And Beverage Love

About Dr. Tingle…

Dr. Chuck Tingle is a Hugo Nominated erotic author and Tae Kwon Do grandmaster (almost black belt) from Billings, Montana. After receiving his PhD at DeVry University in holistic massage, Chuck found himself fascinated by all things sensual, leading to his creation of the "tingler", a story so blissfully erotic that it cannot be experienced without eliciting a sharp tingle down the spine. Chuck's hobbies include backpacking, checkers and sport.

If you would like to know more about Dr. Tingle, you may visit his website or write to him at ChuckTheTingler@gmail.com

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