Cross My Heart

A Gay Romance Short Story

By

Savannah Brooks

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, and events are either products of the author’s imagination or are used in a fictitious manner. Any and all resemblances to persons or places, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2015 by Savannah Brooks

All rights reserved.

Other Books and Stories by Savannah

Short Story Collection

Falling for his Best Friend

Letting Him In

Never in a Million

Just One Kiss

Novelettes

Finding His Forever Guy

Snowed In

Chapter 1

Restless, I roll my head and glance at the clock. One-fifteen in the morning. I just can’t get to sleep. It’s Thursday. Well, technically, now it’s Friday, and both my roommate and I have early classes in the morning. But Carter isn’t back yet and I’m starting to worry. He’s never out this late, especially during the week.

I sit up and look over at his bed again, trying to see in the dark. The covers are still rumpled from this morning when he woke up late and had to dress in a hurry to get to class on time. Poor guy. He was up late last night after work, studying for an exam. Now, he’s probably out celebrating with his girlfriend that it’s over.

Knowing I won’t be able to sleep until he’s home, I head to the bathroom to take a leak. When I come out, I hear keys jiggling in the lock. Wearing only my boxers, I dive for my bed and cover up just before the entry light flips on. A moment later, Carter stumbles into the room with his long-time girlfriend, and my evil, arch nemesis, Melissa, following him in. I’ve never hated anyone as much as I do her.

I sit up, rubbing my eyes like I had been asleep and just woke up.

“Isaiah!” Melissa screeches in a hushed voice, and even then, it’s really annoying. “Get over here and help me!”

“Shit, Mel! Don’t fucking yell at me like that when you’re the one who woke me up!”

“Fuck you, Isaiah. Get your ass over here and help your friend before I leave his ass right here in the doorway.”

Now I’m just pissed. What the hell is her problem, anyway? I know our hatred for each other is mutual, but she could at least show some respect after barging in like this. If it wasn’t for the fact Carter needed help, I wouldn’t even bother. I throw the covers back and stomp over to them. My anger fades the moment I see Carter, cuts and bruises on his face.

“Holy shit, what the hell happened?”

I grab his arm, bring it over my shoulders, and wrap my arm around his back, taking the weight off Melissa.

“What does it look like? He got in a god damn fight! That’s what!”

“Over what?” I ask, hauling Carter to his bed.

“Ask him yourself, ‘cause I’m done with him. You hear me, Carter! We’re through. I hope you’re happy now. He’s all yours, Isaiah.”

Every acidic word she spits out grates against my nerves. Before I can turn around and respond, the door slams and she’s gone. Never have I been so relieved to be rid of her, and if what she said is true, I may not have to see her ever again. Carter deserves better anyway.

I turn the bedside light on as I sit on the edge of his bed and start examining Carter’s injuries. Gently grasping his face, I thread my fingers through the hair hanging over his forehead and push it back. A cut across one eyebrow was bleeding but appears to have stopped. Another on his chin. Several bruises have already taken shape. One on his cheek, his jaw, and the top of his forehead along the hairline. His bottom lip is swollen and split and looks like it’s still bleeding just a little.

“Jesus Christ, Carter,” I whisper.

Carter’s eyes blink open slowly. He looks at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. I see a hint of affection hiding behind the pain and regret in his soulful expression. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part. Wouldn’t be the first time.

“Hey,” he says in a low, gravelly voice.

“Hey.”

“Is she gone?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank fuck. Ow.” He hisses through his teeth and closes his eyes.

“Just, lie still, and don’t talk. I’ll be right back.”

I ease off the bed, trying not to jostle him, and head to the small kitchen of our studio apartment. I fill a Ziploc bag with crushed ice and wrap a washcloth around it. Then I grab a glass of water and some ibuprofen. I carry it all back to Carter and sit down beside him once again.

“Think you can sit up enough to take these?”

He opens his eyes and looks at my hand.

“Pain killer,” I clarify. “Ibuprofen.”

Carter takes a deep breath and grunts as he pushes up on one elbow. He takes the pills and uses his lips to pull them into his mouth from his hand. I hold the water in front of him and he takes a drink from the straw. Swallowing, he lies back down. “Fuck I hurt.”

I take the ice wrapped in cloth and carefully hold it against his cheek. “I should take you to the urgent care.”

“No. I’ll be fine. Just a few cuts and bruises.”

“Dude, you are so not fine. Speaking of which, here,” I take his hand and gently move it to the ice pack. “Hold this. I need to get something to clean those cuts.” I dampen another washcloth and return to his side. “Move the ice to your lip for a few minutes now.”

He does as I instruct. I brush the hair away from his face again and check the cut above his eye, gently wiping it clean. “No bleeding here,” I say, dropping my gaze to his. “Now your chin.” I clean and inspect the slice across his chin. “This one’s just a scratch.”

I clutch his hand holding the ice and guide it back to the bruise on his cheek. I lightly blot his lips with the damp cloth, holding my breath as I do. I’ve never been this close to his lips before. Lips I’ve wanted to kiss for a very long time. I stare at his mouth, absentmindedly still cleaning the cut, wishing that one day those lips might kiss me. But that’s an impossible wish.

Letting out a wistful sigh, I say, “Your lip is swollen, but the bleeding’s stopped.” I lift my eyes and catch his adoring gaze on me once again. My heart stops and for a moment, I let myself hope there could be love there. Then my brain kicks in again, bringing me back to reality. We’re just friends. That’s all we’ll ever be.

I push the thought away and look down, right into his eyes. “Keep your eyes open. Keep looking at me. Any ringing in your ears?”

“No.”

“Do you feel sick or dizzy?”

“No.”

“What’s your name?”

“Carter James.”

“What’s my name?”

“Isaiah Mitchell.”

“Who brought you home?”

“My bitch of an ex-girlfriend.”

“Well, you don’t appear to have a concussion. You feel like telling me about what happened?”

“I got into a fist fight.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“The guys pissed me off. Said something I didn’t agree with.”

“Not that I’m complaining, but is that why Mel broke up with you? You guys have been together for like three years.”

“She found out I like someone else.”

Someone else. My heart sinks a little.

“Anyone I know?”

“Yeah,” he snorts. “You.”

“Not funny.”

“I’m serious.”

“No. You’re delirious. Maybe you do have a concussion.”

Carter pulls the ice pack away from his cheek and grabs my hand with his free one. “Isaiah. I being completely honest with—”

“Stop joking around.”

“I’m not—”

“Please,” I sigh. “Just… stop.” Tears start to well up in my eyes. I turn away, resting my elbows on my knees, and rub my eyes to cover and wipe away the tears before they can fall. He knows I’m gay, but I’ve never told him how I feel about him. He doesn’t know any better. He doesn’t know how much his little joke is hurting right now.

“Try and get some sleep, Carter,” I mutter. Crossing the apartment, I turn the entry light off and crawl back in bed. All the while, Carter’s words still ripping a hole in my already aching heart.

Chapter 2

I lie in bed awake, unable to sleep now for an entirely different reason. The hours creep by slowly. Hypnotized by the blue glow of the clock’s digital display, my mind keeps drifting back to what Carter said earlier. God, how I wish his words were true.

I draw a long, deep breath of air into my lungs and let it go loudly.

“Isaiah? You awake?”

I blow out another heavy breath. “Yeah.”

“Never mind.”

The sudden hurt and anger in his tone tears at my heart. Damn it.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound annoyed. I’m just having trouble sleeping. Did you need me for something?” I ask.

“No. Just forget it.”

“Okay.” I roll over, turning my back to him.

For the past two years now, my feelings for Carter have continued to evolve. I didn’t even like him when we first met. Always the joker, he was the guy I got stuck with as my roommate. I couldn’t wait to be rid of him. Sometime during my freshmen year (his sophomore), however, we became friends, and purposely arranged to be roommates again the next year. It was sometime in the last year, though, that I fell in love with him. And him joking around earlier, saying he liked me, just hurt so much worse than the idea of never hearing him say it at all.

I jolt awake when my alarm goes off at six a.m. I hit the off button and stagger into the bathroom to relieve myself. Shit, I am so fucking tired right now. No way will I be able to stay awake in class.

Screw it. I’m going back to bed.

Falling back into my soft, warm bed, I glance across the room at Carter. He’s dead asleep. Within minutes, I am too.

I wake again several hours later to running water. Stretching, I sit up and notice Carter’s bed is empty and the bathroom door is ajar. Odd. Carter never leaves the door open when he’s in there for anything, especially when he’s taking a shower.

Maybe something is wrong.

Standing just outside the bathroom, not peeking in, I knock on the door. “Carter? You in there?”

No answer.

“Carter?” I yell louder, trying to project over the sound of the shower running.

Still no answer.

I nudge the door open and peer around. Through the frosted glass of the shower door, I make out the shape of a body lying in the tub.

“Carter!” I don’t even think, I just react. The only thing going through my mind is that he did have a concussion from that stupid fight last night and he’d passed out as a result. My heart pounding, I jump toward the shower just as the glass slides open a few inches. Carter peeks out from around the frame.

“Oh, thank God.” I stumble back, sitting on the toilet lid, and run my shaking hands through my hair.

“Isaiah? What are you doing in here?”

“You left the door open. I called your name and you didn’t answer. I was worried something’d happened and when I opened the door to check on you, I thought you’d collapsed or passed out while in the shower.” I pant, my heart still recovering from the panic he caused me.

“Sorry. The hot water felt so good, I decided to lie down. I think I fell asleep.”

“Well, don’t do that again. You scared the living shit out of me.”

“Why aren’t you in class?”

“I was too tired. Sleepless night, you know.” My rattled nerves mostly recovered, I stand and head for the door.

“Hey, Isaiah,” Carter says just before I leave the room.

I turn and cast an impassive glance over my shoulder.

“I’m sorry about last night.”

“Me too.”

Before he can add anything more, I slip out and close the door.

***

Sitting in what would normally be my third class for the day, I struggle to stay awake. The few hours’ sleep I got after my alarm went off this morning just weren’t enough. Beyond that, between this class and the last, I’ve not been able to pay any attention to what the professor is lecturing about. My thoughts have been focused on Carter all day long.

In my sleep deprived state, I imagine what things would be like if it turned out Carter was gay, or even bi. What things would be like if he was my boyfriend and I was able to touch him and kiss him any time I wanted.

Maybe he wasn’t joking last night. Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe…

Shuffling movement all around me grabs my attention. I look up and see the professor packing his laptop away. Damn it. I missed the whole thing daydreaming about Carter. I’ve even fooled myself into thinking there might be hope for something between us.

Cursing under my breath, I shove my laptop into the hard case and jam it in my backpack. I head outside and am met with pouring down rain. Christ, could this day get any worse? I’m going to be soaked by the time I get home, but what does it matter at this point? This day is all sorts of fucked up and it’s not even over with yet. I take a deep breath and dart out into the rain.

All I can think about is Carter as I rush across campus. Why did this have to happen? Why did he have to go and say that to me last night? Why did I have to go and fall in love with him to begin with?

By the time I reach our converted apartment building, tears prick the corners of my eyes. Dripping wet, I take the stairs two at a time up to the fourth floor and hurry down the hall to our apartment.

I reach in my pocket for my keys. Shit! Where are they? I check all my pockets. My phone is missing too. Then it hits me. They’re right where I left them earlier. On the kitchen counter. And I thought this day couldn’t get any worse.

Leaning forward, I smack my forehead on the door. I don’t even know if Carter is home right now.

A few seconds later, the knob clicks and the door slowly opens. Somewhat relieved, I look up and see Carter’s scratched and bruised face. Knowing my eyes are probably red and strained, my emotional turmoil takes another dive when I meet his deep, penetrating gaze. It’s almost enough for me to break down. Almost.

He doesn’t say anything. Just stands there and looks at me like he’s confused and not sure what to do. I step in and around him. Dropping my backpack at the foot of my bed, I go straight into the bathroom, strip down, and jump in the shower.

The steam and hot spray feels so good, but it’s not enough wash away the lingering hurt. The pain in my heart of knowing I can’t ever have him. I let the tears fall this time. At least I’m in the shower and no one can see me. Last thing I need is Carter giving me a hard time for crying. Fuck, I hate that I’m so emotional over this.

After what I figure is about forty-five minutes, the hot water turns cold. I climb out and dry off. Realizing I didn’t bring any clothes in with me, I wrap the towel around my waist. Maybe I can get out, grab some, and get back in without having to face Carter. I open the door to scout my path, but a pile of clothes on the floor stops me. A note sits right on top.

Without looking further, I grab the clothes and the note and retreat back into the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet lid, I set the bundle of clothes— pajama pants, boxers, and t-shirt— in my lap and read the handwritten note.

I wasn’t joking.

My stomach knots as tears flood my eyes again.

That’s it. That’s all it says.

Chapter 3

Dressed, note in hand, I crack the bathroom door open and peek out. “Carter?”

Silence.

I leave the warm, steamy room and quickly scan our apartment. No sign of him. Part of me is thankful, because right now, I just want to slip into bed and go to sleep. The other part of me wants to know more. If he wasn’t joking about liking me, then what did that mean exactly? That’s what I really want to know.

I look down at the note resting in my palm, then glance at the stack of sticky notes on my desk. Sitting down, I grab the pad and a pen and write a note of my own.

I hope not, because I’m in love with you.

I probably shouldn’t tell him that yet, but I’m so tired of hiding it and holding it in. It’s a risk, sure. But it doesn’t matter anymore. Keeping it in certainly hasn’t done me any good.

I place the note on his pillow. Turning, I cross the room and strip down to just my boxers. Crawling into my own bed, completely exhausted, I sink into the soft sheets. My eyes drift closed. No longer able to fight it, I fall asleep.

***

The blanket and sheet lift behind me, letting the cool air in against my skin. Still groggy and mostly incoherent, I don’t quite register what’s happening until I feel warmth pressed against my back and a strong arm come around me.

“I got your note,” Carter whispers, kissing right behind my ear.

My eyes pop open. My heart rate sky rockets and I have to remind myself to breathe. Every nerve ending ignites as all my muscles tense. Carter’s bare chest presses against my back. His long legs slide along mine. A soft bulge against my ass. He feels so good wrapped around me right now. Holy hell, is this really happening?

I gulp and manage a hoarse whisper. “What… what are you doing, Carter?” I tense and try to pull away. He tightens his arm around me, pulling me closer. His warmth permeates every inch of my skin, daring to light the beacon of hope I keep trying to extinguish every time I begin to imagine that he might one day be with me.

“Please, just hear me out.”

“Um… okay.”

“Remember when I was sick a few weeks ago? When you came home from work and found me already in bed?”

“Yeah.”

“You knew I hadn’t been feeling well and when you came in, the first thing you did was come over to me and sit on the bed beside me, just like you did last night. You asked how I was feeling and noticed I was burning up. You got me some medicine and put a cool towel over my forehead. Then you sat and talked to me for a little while. Do remember all that?”

Not able to form any words, I simply nod.

“That’s when it happened, Isaiah… That was the moment I fell in love with you.”

My breathing hitches. My ears must be playing tricks on me. Either that or he is. Angry, hopeful tears edge my eyes yet again. I throw his arm off me and flip to face him. “Carter, if this is a joke—”

Carter cuts me off with a kiss. A tender, barely there kiss.

My heart goes completely still the moment his lips touch mine. Cascading tingles race down my spine and I whimper softly, melting into his kiss. If there was ever a moment in my life where I was completely vulnerable, it’s this moment right here. The soft, slow slide of his mouth against mine. The gentle, sweeping caress of his thumb across my cheek. It’s so… absolutely… wonderfully… perfect.

“Do you believe me now?” he whispers against my lips.

“I… I don’t understand… You had a girlfriend—”

“When I should have had a boyfriend.”

“I’m confused.”

“Male. Female. It makes no difference to me.”

“You’re bi?”

“Something like that I suppose. Mel doesn’t know. I never told her. Being with her for so long, everyone just assumed I was straight. Now, she probably just thinks I was closeted. We started growing apart a long time ago, but we’d been together so long that I don’t think either of us really saw it. I’d been trying to figure out how to break things off with her. I guess all it took was a little alcohol buzz to help it all fall into place.”

“What exactly happened last night?”

“I was a little drunk. Mel started bugging me again about wanting us to find a place together and how I must prefer living with you over her. The moment your name came up, one of the other guys we were with started talking shit about you and I lost it. Needless to say, I ended up getting my ass kicked by three of them before Mel finally made them stop and hauled me out of there. By the time we got back here, she’d figured it all out.”

I stare at him for a long minute, considering everything he told me. I don’t sense any lies or potential jokes at my expense. Neither in his words nor in the way he kissed me. Just honest to God truth.

“So, you’re… out?”

“Well, my family knows, but otherwise, I could care less what anyone knows or thinks. I don’t go around telling people. I am who I am. The only thing that matters to me is being with someone I love who loves me in return.”

“You’re totally serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Cross my heart. No joke.” Carter pauses, softly caressing my cheek as he shares my pillow with me, searching my eyes. “I love you, Isaiah. If you’ll have me, I want a chance to prove it to you. I want you to be my boyfriend.”

My heart somersaults, bouncing off the walls of my chest. But my emotions get the better of me. Always have. I bite my lip in an attempt to maintain some control. “I thought you were straight, you know. I tried really hard not to fall in love with you.”

“So, is that a yes?”

I press my lips into a tight smile, trying to tamp down the excitement bubbling up inside me. “Yes, but on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“You kiss me again, right now, and show me just how much you love me.”

And he does. Even with his lip still a little swollen, he kisses me. Long and slow. Deep and passionate. I fall to pieces wrapped in his arms, lovingly assaulted by his lips and tongue. We kiss and touch and caress each other until our energy is gone.

Eyelids heavy, both our bodies pleading for sleep, Carter pulls me in close and holds me. His lips press against the back of my neck. His hand clasps mine right over my heart.

We fall asleep. Together.

Best night of my life.

*** The End ***

A NOTE FROM SAVANNAH

You may have noticed as you read this story, that there are no specific physical descriptions of people or their surroundings. I did this purposely so that you, as the reader, were free to indulge your own imagination and see the characters and settings as you would see them. I hope this added to your enjoyment of this short, romantic story and welcome you back for more.

Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed Cross My Heart, please check out more of Savannah’s gay romance short stories, also available on Amazon.

Just One Kiss

Noah’s best friend, Cole, is gay, and Noah’s never had a problem with that. But when Cole asks Noah to show him what it’s like to kiss another guy, Noah reluctantly gives in, convincing himself he’s doing this solely to help Cole out.

When the kiss turns into more than Noah bargained for, he panics and shuts Cole out, unable to face him. He doesn’t want to lose his best friend, but there’s no denying what he felt.

It was just one kiss, but is it possible it could lead to something more?

Snowed In

At eighteen, David’s older sister died in a car accident, leaving him the sole guardian of her young son, Ethan, and setting David on a life path he never anticipated. But he loved his nephew and spent the next fifteen years of his life devoted to raising him like his own. Now, with Ethan soon graduating from college, loneliness and the desire for intimacy is starting to catch up with him.

Alex, Ethan’s best friend, is expecting to spend the holidays alone. When Ethan invites him to stay with him and his dad for the two week winter break, he’s hesitant. His attraction to older men has gotten him into trouble in the past and he’s sworn off dating anyone more than a few years older than him. But with Ethan’s insistence, he goes anyway.

The moment Alex and David meet, a bond begins to form. David doesn’t see how a guy like Alex would be interested in him, and Alex is afraid he’ll get hurt again. When David kisses Alex for the first time, they both decide to give in and see what happens.

Things between them heat up quickly as a winter storm moves in just days before Christmas. Being snowed in together might be exactly what they both need…

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Savannah Brooks is the pen name of a thirty-something-year-old woman, wife, and mother, who writes romance of all kinds, from sweet to steamy to erotic, and all things in between. Stories range from short reads that get your heart pumping on lunch breaks to full-length novels that will hopefully keep you turning pages until the very end.

There is something beautiful about romance and love in all its forms and Savannah longs to show this through her writing. No lines are drawn here. It's all about love. No matter who you are or where you're from, love touches everyone.

"We don't choose who we fall in love with." – Savannah