More Than Just One Night

By

Claire Baxter

Text copyright © 2013 Claire Baxter

All Rights Reserved

Cover image: Yuri Arcurs | Shutterstock

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

About the Author

Chapter 1  

Cora couldn’t believe she’d done it. True, the evidence was sleeping alongside her, and gorgeous evidence he was, but if someone had told her yesterday that she’d be spending the night with a man, she’d have laughed. Loudly. Since her husband’s fatal heart attack, she’d had enough to contend with just getting through each day; she hadn’t had the time or desire to even think about...well, this sort of thing. And if someone had told her that she’d be spending the night with a younger man, she’d have asked them what they were on.

But last night, she’d met Alex, and six years of celibacy had ended in spectacular fashion. She turned her head on the pillow to gaze at his face, all sharp angles and firm lines in the sunlight streaming through the window. No salt and pepper in his black hair, but then there wouldn’t be, would there? Because he was only…what? Early thirties? Thirty-five at a push.

What would he think when he saw her in daylight?

Oh, hell, that couldn’t happen. What an idiot! She should have gone back to her own room while it was still dark. Now she had a problem. Not only how to get out of bed without waking him, but how to make it from his room back to hers without being seen by all sorts of people on the way. Any number of them could be delegates at the same conference, which meant there was a good chance of bumping into someone she knew, and if her obviously-from-the-night-before dress didn’t give her away, her bed hair definitely would. Gah! How had she got herself into this situation?

The covers were tangled between his legs, and there was no way she’d be able to extricate them without disturbing him. No chance of doing the only-in-the-movies glide out of bed with the sheet wrapped around her, then.

She edged her way across the bed, then went for it, swinging her legs over the side and rising to her feet in one movement. Holding her breath, she looked back at Alex, but he didn’t so much as murmur in his sleep. She exhaled with relief. Now to find her clothes.

Having gathered all her belongings she locked herself in the bathroom and turned on the light. With trepidation she looked in the mirror and her hand shot to her mouth. The make-up smudges beneath her eyes, made her look even older than her forty-two years. She looked nearly as bad as she felt, and that was pretty bad. Too much wine.

She could only be grateful that she hadn’t been seen in this state by the thirty-something eye-candy sleeping in the other room.

What had she been thinking, dropping off to sleep like that?

What had she been thinking when she’d made the decision to sleep with him?

She shook her head at her reflection. She wasn’t this woman. She didn’t make snap decisions; she was a planner to the point of obsession, and she certainly hadn’t planned to do something so out of character.

After scrubbing her face, she scrambled into her clothes, hurrying in case he woke while she was in his bathroom. The alcohol had been a factor, of course, but wasn’t to blame entirely. The truth was, she’d been thoroughly flattered when Alex had flirted with her. It had been so long since a man had shown any interest in her at all, and the shock of finding herself on the receiving end of his attention had made her lose all semblance of common sense. It was the last night of the conference with no scheduled activities, so when he’d suggested dinner, she’d been happy to share a table with him.

There was a big difference between sharing a table and sharing a bed, of course, and she had no reasonable explanation for making the leap from one to the other. She’d felt as if she were role playing, and being away from home had contributed to a sense of an alternate reality. The knowledge that no one need ever know what she’d done had been the clincher. She could, so she had. Simple as that.

She had no make-up in her handbag, but she did find a comb, and she flattened her hair into something approaching presentable. It wasn’t good, but would have to do. If she kept her head down, hopefully no one would recognise her from the conference. She’d barely have time to shower once she reached her room, before packing and catching a taxi to the airport, and that suited her just fine. She didn’t want time to think about what she was doing.

Later, as she sat on the plane heading home, Cora finally let herself think about the man she’d left behind. Leaving had been the only option. Even disregarding the fact that Alex couldn’t seriously be interested in her, anything beyond a one-night stand with him was impossible for her.

For a start, she had grown-up children. How would Fern and Justin feel about their mother sleeping with another man, let alone with someone like him? Would they call him a toy boy? Even the words turned her stomach. Cora couldn’t bear the mortification of people knowing her personal business. She wasn’t the sort of woman to flaunt her ability to attract a younger lover. She was private about her private life. Not that there had been any private life to be public about for a long time. Besides, she had an image to maintain as a no-nonsense business woman.

Having taken over the family engineering company on Paul’s death, she’d been determined that no one would take advantage of her; she wouldn’t allow anyone in the industry to find a chink in her armour, and Alex…well, he would be more than a chink. More like a gaping hole. People would talk. Her employees would gossip about her.

No, no, no. She could never put herself in that position. So, yes, leaving him without a word was the right thing to do, but still a nagging disappointment lingered. She knew nothing about him. They’d deliberately avoided talking about their jobs, agreeing within the first few minutes of meeting that work was off the agenda for one night. They hadn’t exchanged surnames. It had all added to the excitement of the evening, and she had to admit, she’d been very excited. The sex…oh god, the sex had been like nothing she’d ever experienced, but she’d been a staid married woman for half of her life so that was hardly surprising. She grabbed the safety instruction card from the seat pocket in front of her and fanned her face.

Her elderly neighbour looked up from her magazine. “Horrible, isn’t it? I suffered terribly with them myself. Mine were so bad I thought global warming was my fault.”

Cora gave the woman a weak smile. Wonderful to be reminded that she looked her age. She took a file from her briefcase and opened it. Not that she was trying to be unfriendly, but she had too much on her mind for small-talk. She shook her head at the flight attendant who offered her breakfast. Her churning stomach wouldn’t let her think about food. Between the alcohol she’d consumed the previous night and the tension this morning, it was like a washing machine.

The figures on the page in front of her made no sense. She let her head fall back against the headrest and closed her eyes, glad that she had the weekend to recover from the conference, and her after-hours activities, before she had to throw herself into another working week. Fern was coming to stay, and her new boyfriend was joining them for the weekend. Cora was looking forward to meeting him.

Thirty-six hours later, Cora took her seat at a table in her favourite Newcastle restaurant, silently fuming. Fern sat beside her and across the table, Russell, Fern’s boyfriend. Ha! Boyfriend indeed. He was older than her. She’d been struggling to hide her feelings ever since the two of them had arrived in his Jaguar. As soon as she’d seen the car roll up she’d known that this was no twenty-something lover that Fern had brought to meet her. And the irony of her own liaison with a man younger than this one had not been lost on her.

“Sorry, I just need to….” Fern got to her feet again with a vague wave towards the rear of the room. “Will you order for me, darling?”

Russell gave Fern an indulgent smile. “Of course, sweetness.”

He was handsome, she’d give him that, but at Fern’s age she shouldn’t find greying temples attractive, should she? This was so much worse than her last boyfriend, the one with the safety pin through his eyebrow. Cora had been tempted to ask whether it was holding his eyebrow in place and if it was prone to falling off. She’d restrained herself, though, aware that her humour wouldn’t be appreciated. That boy was monosyllabic, but at least he was in Fern’s age-bracket.

She waited till Fern was out of earshot then pinned Russell with her best glare. “So, Russell, what are you doing with someone as young as my daughter?”

He looked up. Surprise melted from his face as he met her glare with a stony expression. “Really, Cora, you don’t want me to answer that literally, do you?”

“Yes. No!”

One eyebrow lifted.

She clenched her jaw, but consciously relaxed it when she spotted Fern heading back towards them. What? She’d never been so quick in the bathroom at home. “She’s coming back already. We’ll continue this conversation later.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

The short exchange had left Cora even more determined that the relationship had to end, but she had enough parenting experience to understand that the very worst thing she could do was tell Fern what she really thought.

Fern slipped back into her seat. “Have you ordered?”

“Not yet,” Cora said. As she took her glasses from her handbag so that she could read the menu, she saw Russell reach into his jacket and take out a pair of his own.

“Awful when you get to our age, isn’t it?” she said with a fake smile and a nod at the glasses in his hand. “One of the first signs of getting old.”

And as she bent her head over the menu she caught a glimpse of Fern’s grimace, and mentally chalked up a point. Game on, Russell.

Chapter 2  

Three weeks later, while she waited for her wholemeal toast to cook Cora leaned against the kitchen bench and glanced over the spreadsheet she’d printed in preparation for her Monday morning meeting. She wanted to believe that her case was solid, because she needed a win out of this mediation. The client was happy with the work that Selwoods had done on his project, just not with the hike in costs they were claiming.

The toaster flung her slices into the air, and jerked her brain away from the figures she was studying.

“Morning, Mum.” Fern picked up one of the toast slices from the counter-top, and nibbled on the corner. “Do we have any bacon? I feel like bacon for breakfast.”

Cora frowned. “No. You know I don’t buy bacon because of the—”

“Cholesterol, I know. But I like it. What about eggs? You could scramble some eggs for me.”

“You could scramble some eggs for yourself. I have to go to work. And that’s my toast you’re eating.”

She spread her single remaining slice of toast with cholesterol-lowering margarine. “Did I hear Russell come in with you last night?”

“Yes. Why?”

This was horrible. She’d hoped that by now Fern would have tired of a man old enough to be her father. Was that what was going on here? Was Fern looking for a father figure because Paul had passed away when she was a vulnerable teenager? Her toast tasted like cardboard when she bit into it. Fern might be in her twenties now — just — but she was still as vulnerable as that teenager had been. The trouble was, she was too old for Cora to lay down the law about who she should and shouldn’t see.

Being so busy she rarely had time to manage a proper conversation with Fern. Tonight, she would have to do it. The only problem was how to word her concerns without causing Fern to take umbrage and leave. The last thing she wanted to do was lose her daughter over this.

Fern was beating eggs in a bowl. Her spreadsheet, she noticed, was already spattered.

“Keep it in the bowl, Fern,” she snapped as she retrieved the sheet of paper. “I need this for a meeting, and I don’t have time to print another copy.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have left it there, then.”

Cora pressed her lips together. It was her kitchen. She had a right to leave her paperwork wherever she damn well liked.

“You’re always like this in the morning,” Fern said. “Grumpy. You are so not a morning person.”

Cora said tightly, “I have to go.”

“Oh, Mum,” Fern called as she neared the door. “We’re out of milk. I’ve just used the last in my eggs. You’ll get some more today, won’t you?”

She was doing her best to keep the family business going in a tough economic climate; her schedule was so packed she’d be lucky to take a bathroom break. She certainly wouldn’t have time to run out for milk. She’d show Fern grumpy.

“Are your arms and legs painted on, then?” she said as she swung around.

Fern’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You used the milk, you replace it. And make sure you clean up the kitchen when you’ve finished. I don’t want to come home to your mess all over the place. It’s about time you thought about someone other than yourself.” Cora stopped herself before she could say more than she wanted to, and stalked out.

When she reached the office Cora had to put Fern and her so-called boyfriend out of her mind, as difficult as it was to do. Eric, her husband’s long-term friend and a non-executive director of the company was waiting for her in the outer office. She occasionally called on him when she needed moral support in a meeting and because he’d always been so much like Paul, his views gave her a clue to the decisions that Paul might have taken in the same circumstances. She called on him less now than she had in the first years following Paul’s death, but still, he believed he had a right to advise her on anything and everything, and not just the business at hand.

She’d always felt that he disapproved of her taking over from Paul, and that nothing she did was quite good enough. The irony was that Selwoods was her father’s business. Paul had been production manager, eager to step up when her parents had died overseas and left the business to their three daughters. He’d proven to be a very capable managing director, though, and she’d only had the confidence to take on the role herself because she’d learned so much from him.

“Steven’s not here yet?” Cora said as she unlocked her office.

Eric tossed the magazine he’d been reading onto the coffee table. “I haven’t seen him yet. I’ve asked Lily to make a pot of coffee and get the conference room set up for us.”

“Oh, have you? Was Lily okay with that?” Cora entered her office, leaving Eric to follow her.

“Why shouldn’t she be?”

“Because Lily is office manager, not office junior.”

Eric shrugged. “She didn’t say she had a problem with it.”

No, she wouldn’t. That was the trouble with her youngest sister, she was too nice for her own good. She let people walk all over her, including that husband of hers. Cora clenched her jaw and brought her mind back to this morning’s meeting.

“Do you think we have a solid case?”

 “Hard to say. If Steven has justification for all of the variations he’s claiming, then, yes.”

“He tells me he has.” Cora laid her briefcase on her desk just as the internal phone rang. She reached for it. “Yes, Joan.” She caught Eric’s eye and nodded. “Okay, put them in the conference room. We’ll be along in a moment. Oh, and can you chase up Steven, please?”

She hung up. “They’re early.”

“What do you know about this mediator they’re bringing?”

“Nothing. I don’t even know which one they selected.”

Eric raised an eyebrow. “I thought it was supposed to be a mutual decision?”

“They sent me a list of names they’d been given by the Institute, but I said they should just choose whichever one became available first. I really didn’t see the point in slowing things down by being picky. I’m sure they’re all much the same as each other.”

Eric frowned at the spreadsheet she’d taken from her briefcase. “This is a mess.”

“Breakfast,” she said. “Fern’s.”

He didn’t try to hide his disapproval.

“Let’s go through to the conference room,” she said.

Steven arrived as they left the office and made his excuses for being late.

Cora shook her head. “Never mind that now. They’re waiting for us.”

Chapter 3  

The last time she’d seen him he was naked.

Cora forced herself forward, but her brain wasn’t capable of moving on from this thought.

Alexander Hill was his name she learned from the introductions.

Alex. 

Her Alex.

He too looked stunned, but at least he was still able to talk to make the introductions, whereas she could do nothing but stare. The client had brought along two senior people she hadn’t met before, but their names slipped straight from her consciousness. She took her seat, and only just in time because her legs wobbled alarmingly as she sat. She glanced at Eric. He was watching Alex, apparently oblivious to her turmoil.

As the mediator, it was Alex’s role to open the meeting, and he didn’t appear to be in a hurry to do so.

“Before we start,” Alex said, breaking the expectant silence, “I’d like to have a private word with Coralie—”

“Cora,” Eric interrupted.

Alex glanced at the papers in front of him. “Cora, yes, I’m sorry. If you don’t mind, gentlemen.”

Eric frowned. “Is this necessary? I don’t see why you should need to speak to her alone.”

“It’s a private matter.” Alex rose. “It doesn’t pertain to the case directly.”

“Well, I’m not sure—”

“We’ll go to my office,” Cora interrupted. She swallowed, avoiding Eric’s gaze, and preceded Alex from the room.

As soon as she’d closed her office door behind them she said, “They’ll be wondering what’s going on.”

“Let them.”

She paced to her desk, then changed direction and strode over to the window. “This can’t be the normal way for a mediation to be run. It must look very odd for the mediator to single one person out to speak to before the session has even started.”

“No, it’s not normal. But then, this is a pretty abnormal set of circumstances.”

She stopped pacing, sat in her desk chair and picked up the pen that was lying on the blotter. “I didn’t know you were the mediator. You do believe that, don’t you?”

“Of course. I had no idea that you were involved either. I only knew you as Coralie, remember? No surnames.” He paused, watching her. “So, is it Selwood?”

She shook her head. “That’s my maiden name.”

Narrowing his eyes, he said, “Married?”

“Widowed.”

His face relaxed. “I see. I’m sorry. How long?”

“Six years. And if your next question is whether you were the first since him, the answer is yes, you were.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Oh. Well, you know now, so you don’t need to ask.”

“My next question was going to be whether you’ve been running the business alone since then.”

“Yes. Yes, I have.”

After a short silence he said, “Why did you disappear that morning?”

She clicked the ballpoint six times before answering. “We agreed that it was only going to be one night.”

“We did, but you could have said goodbye, at least.” He sighed and sat down in the visitor chair across the desk from her. “I waited in reception for hours, hoping to catch you before you left the hotel.”

Her eyes widened. “I was on an early flight. I would have been at the airport before you woke up. Anyway, you shouldn’t have done that. It makes no sense. I don’t know why you would have waited for me.”

Sighing, he said, “Because I thought that after we’d spent the night together, things had changed.”

She looked down at the pen and realised she was clicking frantically. She tossed it onto the desk. “Why would you think that? We slept together, that’s all. Just one night.”

He remained silent, and when she looked up his expression made her suck in a breath.

“What? You can’t argue with what it was. A one-night stand, pure and simple. We agreed that before we…before it happened.”

When he didn’t respond, she said, “Right?”

“Right.” He looked at her desk, then at the artwork on the wall behind her, and glanced at the photos of finished projects on the other walls, before bringing his gaze back to meet hers. “You know I have to tell the people in the meeting, don’t you?”

“Oh, God.” She planted her elbows on the desk and covered her face with her hands. “Do you really have to?” The embarrassment. She could cope with most things thrown at her in business, but this…this was too personal. She didn’t do personal.

“Yes. It would be unethical of me not to.”

“Couldn’t you say you’ve changed your mind and don’t want to mediate the case, or make up some excuse?”

When there was no response, she lifted her head. “No?”

He shook his head.

“Damn.” She slumped against the high back of the chair. “They’ll want to know why we didn’t say anything beforehand. I’m going to look ridiculous.”

“If I’d known your real name, I wouldn’t have accepted the role of mediator. Why did you say your name was Coralie?”

She shrugged. “It’s not a lie exactly. My sisters used to call me Coralie, and still do sometimes. Anyway, we’re wasting time here. We might as well get this horror show over with.”

“I’ll be staying in town tonight since I already have a hotel room booked. Will you have dinner with me?”

“No.”

“Just dinner.”

“Sydney was a one-off for me. I don’t do that sort of thing. Ever. I’m not…”

“Single?”

“Yes, of course I’m single! Good grief. But I don’t—”

“Eat?”

She let out an exasperated sigh. “You know I eat. I don’t date, okay?”

“I’m talking about dinner.”

“That’s what you said before and look at the trouble that’s got us into.”

His mouth twitched into a smile. “You do have a point. All right, let’s not put limitations on it then. Dinner and whatever else happens.”

Which was even worse.

At her expression his smile broadened. Her heart started to thump. She was shocked that her attraction to the man was still so strong, and even more so that she was actually considering having dinner with him. Maybe more than dinner. Right here in her home town where everybody knew her. More to the point, where everybody had known Paul, had known them as a couple…but if anybody asked, she could pass it off as a business dinner, couldn’t she?

She cleared her throat. “I’d prefer that we did put limitations on it, and that we stuck to them. Dinner, and that’s all this time.”

“If that’s what you want, we can do that. I’m staying at the Clarendon Hotel. Apparently, the restaurant there is pretty good. Will that suit you?”

She nodded. “Fine.”

“I could come and pick you up in a taxi—”

“Don’t bother. I’ll make my own way there.” She was used to her independence  and besides, with her own car there she’d have complete control over when she left, and she intended to leave straight after dinner.

“Okay. Shall we say seven o’clock?”

Damn, she’d forgotten her plans to talk to Fern over dinner tonight.

He frowned. “Problem? I don’t mind earlier or later. It’s up to you.”

Her conversation with Fern could wait a day or two, whereas he was only in town for one night. And, she realised, she would regret it if she didn’t have dinner with him while she had the chance.

“No, not a problem. Seven o’clock it is.” She took a deep breath. “Now shall we go back to the meeting?”

Good lord, she hoped she knew what she was doing, because it was all very well telling herself that she was only going for dinner, but she hadn’t been able to stop there the last time. There was a difference, though. This was her real life. This was the town she had to live and work in. She wasn’t about to risk having a fling with him on her own doorstep.

 Back in the conference room, she slipped into her seat, keeping her eyes on the table’s polished surface, while Alex stood at the head of the table and cleared his throat.

“I’m afraid the mediation will have to be postponed until another mediator can be found,” he said.

Eric straightened. “What? Why?”

“Because I have a conflict of interest. I have a personal relationship with one of the parties.” He glanced at her.

Eric saw the glance and turned to face her. “With Cora?”

She nodded.

“I don’t understand,” Eric said. “What sort of personal relation—?”

“It isn’t relevant,” Alex said, cutting him off. “All you need to know is that I can’t mediate in these circumstances. It’s unfortunate, and I apologise for the inconvenience. Obviously, you won’t be billed for my expenses.”

“”Look, I really don’t think that’s the issue here—”

“We’ll have to leave it there, I’m afraid. I’m sure you all understand.”

Cora gathered her paperwork, pushed back her chair, and went to shake hands with the client, ignoring the curiosity in the way he looked at her. Him, she could handle; Eric, she avoided. She slipped out of the room while he was occupied. Steven gave her a lopsided smile as she passed him — and there was another problem. She didn’t want to learn that Steven was gossiping about her to her employees, and she didn’t know him well enough to guess whether he could be trusted to keep quiet.

Once she’d double-checked that she was alone in the passageway to her office, she let out an exaggerated sigh. Why did this have to happen to her? The one and only time she’d felt anything remotely like a real woman since Paul had died, and it had to turn out this way.

She looked up at the sound of Lily’s voice, and saw her talking to Joan at the reception desk. Instead of entering her office she detoured into reception.

“Do you have a minute please, Lily?”

“Sure thing.”

“Come through to my office.” She looked at Joan. “Are there any messages for me?”

“Just a couple. Has the meeting finished already?” Joan handed her some slips of yellow paper.

“It’s off.” As she read the top message, she heard footsteps behind her and tensed.

“Cora!”

She pasted an innocent smile on her face before turning. “Yes, Eric?”

“I want to have a word with you. In your office.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t talk to you now. Lily has an urgent problem to discuss with me and it can’t wait.”

Eric looked across at Lily whose eyes had widened a fraction, but Cora was relieved to see that she hid her surprise quickly.

“Yes, I’m sorry, Eric,” Lily said, “but this really can’t wait.”

Eric scowled, before checking his watch. “I’m going back to work. I’ll call you later, Cora.”

“Yes, do that. I’ll look forward to your call.” She swivelled towards her office. “Come on in, Lily.”

Inside her office, she gave Lily a rueful smile. “I don’t suppose you have a problem you want to discuss now that you’re here?”

Lily grinned and shook her head. “No, thanks. Everything’s fine, but I appreciate the opportunity.”

“Thanks for going along with me out there.”

“What are sisters for? Any time you want to use me as an excuse not to talk to Eric or anybody else, feel free.”

“It’s just…” Cora shook her head. “I don’t need a lecture from Eric right now.”

“You shouldn’t have to listen to a lecture from anybody. You’re the boss.”

Cora took a breath, and let it out slowly. “Well, in name, at least. Is there anything you have to rush back for?”

When Lily shook her head, she picked up the phone. “Joan, will you let me know when the visitors have left, please? All of them.”

She replaced the phone and grimaced at Lily. “Something godawful has happened here today.”

Lily’s expression became serious. “Tell me about it.”

“I’ve just been through a very embarrassing meeting.”

Lily waited.

“It was a mediation. You’ve heard about the Pearson project?”

“Yes. I’ve seen the figures.”

“Well, today was the mediation where we were supposed to thrash out a solution. However, it turned out that the mediator was…someone I knew.”

“I don’t understand. How was that a problem?”

Cora blew out a breath. “When I say I knew him, I mean I knew him. Not for long, but really well.”

“Oh.” Lily started to smile, but bit her lip as if she wasn’t sure a smile was appropriate. “You mean you had a fling with him?”

Cora nodded.

 “Gosh. And you didn’t know he was going to be at the meeting?”

“No way! I never expected to see him again, so it was a heck of a shock.”

“I’m sure it was.” Lily’s eyes were wide now.

“And as a result, the mediation had to be called off.” She shook her head. “It was so embarrassing.”

“I can imagine.”

“And now I’m avoiding Eric because he’ll have plenty to say about it, and I might be the boss, but that won’t stop him. He seems to think that he still has to look out for Paul’s interests.”

“Well, they were best friends for a long time.”

“Yes, but Paul’s been dead for six years, and if Eric had his way I’d be faithful to Paul forever.”

“But you don’t want to be?”

Cora sighed. “I have been, of course, until now, and I still would be if I hadn’t met Alex. It’s not as if I make a habit of…gah! I’d never given it a thought until I met him, and then…”

“And then what? Did you fall in love with him?”

“Oh my God, no. Nothing like that, but it was…good to feel attractive again. I thought I was way past it.”

Lily hesitated. “I’m probably not the world’s best judge since I left school and got married all in the same week, but I think after six years, you should be allowed to move on if you want to.”

Cora managed a small smile. “Don’t forget, I hadn’t had much more experience than you when I married Paul. Seems to be a Selwood thing to marry too young.”

“I wasn’t too young,” Lily said indignantly. “I wouldn’t want my daughter to be married at eighteen, but it all worked out for Brandon and me.”

Cora made a non-committal sound in her throat. “But look at Gwen. I know she regrets not waiting until she was older to marry Stuart. Now she’s divorced with a seventeen year old daughter and she’s only thirty-six.”

“Well, things were a bit different with Gwen, weren’t they? She was always trying to compete with you.”

Cora sighed. “Typical middle child syndrome.”

“I suppose so, but it’s true. She wanted what you had, or better. You were married at nineteen and pregnant at twenty, so she had to beat that and be pregnant at nineteen.”

“And then you beat both of us.” Cora pulled a pile of papers across the desk towards her. “Let’s just hope that none of our daughters follow our examples.”

“Agreed.” Lily took the hint, and stood. “Before I go, where did you meet this man? Is he local? Do I know him?”

“No. God, no, he’s not local. I met him in Sydney at that conference I went to a few weeks ago.”

“Ah, yes. I thought you seemed distracted when you got back.”

Distracted was an understatement.

“Are you going to see him again?”

Cora squirmed. She wished she could deny it, but she’d never been in the habit of lying to either of her sisters and couldn’t bring herself to do so now. “I’m having dinner with him tonight at The Clarendon.”

Lily broke into a smile. “So, you’re going to date him, then?”

“No, no. It’s one dinner, that’s all.”

“Oh. What a shame.”

After Lily had left, Cora looked at the messages Joan had given her. Some of them were probably important, but she couldn’t force herself to pick them up and deal with them. She was having dinner with Alex tonight, and there didn’t seem to be capacity in her brain for any other thought right now.

Chapter 4  

Before Cora entered the Clarendon, she tugged at the stretchy fabric of her black dress, attempting to stop it clinging to every inch of her body, wishing she’d worn a different outfit. Jeans, maybe, with a baggy t-shirt. Anything but this dress. She hadn’t intended to change at all; she’d meant to work until twenty minutes before the seven o’clock date, and make do with a quick freshen up in the office bathroom before driving the short distance to the hotel. Instead, she’d dashed home after her final meeting for the day, showered, shaved her legs for heaven’s sake, and spent a good thirty minutes trying to make the momentous choice between two black dresses.

She was not this woman. She didn’t do this sort of thing.

And after all the effort, she’d chosen a wraparound cotton jersey dress that was a fraction too tight, a fraction too short, and a more than a little out of character for her. She shook her head before pushing at the heavy door.

Alex was waiting in the lounge bar. Rather than going right over to him she took a moment to wonder what on earth a man like him wanted with a woman like her. She could only see his profile, and yet he exuded masculinity. How was that even possible? His dark hair was short and neat. Lawyer-like. Nothing out of the ordinary. But there was nothing at all ordinary about her reaction to him. It disoriented her.

She grimaced, and gave her head a little shake. In the same moment he spun around on his barstool, a welcoming smile on his face. He was at her side before she’d even straightened her expression.

“Hi. I wasn’t completely convinced that you’d turn up.”

“How did you know I was here?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Sorry?”

“Did you sense me looking at you?”

“Sense you…?” His confusion cleared, and he laughed. “No. There’s a mirror behind the bar,” he said, pointing.

“Oh.” She looked at the mirrored wall of shelves. Well, of course there was, and now she sounded like an idiot. Sensed her. Gah!

“Let’s go straight through, shall we? I’m starving.” He pointed the way to the table with one hand, and touched the small of her back with the other. As soon as he made contact, she knew she should have worn a suit. With a thick cardigan underneath it. Layers of clothing would have been a very good idea. Layers and layers. But she gritted her teeth and walked into the restaurant as if his touch wasn’t causing her insides to tie themselves into pretzels.

Once they were settled at a table and had ordered their meals and drinks, he said, “You look beautiful. That’s a very nice dress.”

She took a sip of water from her glass, and shook her head. “Thank you, but you don’t need to humour me, you know.”

“What?” He gave her a puzzled look.

“Don’t overdo it. I can believe that I look well turned-out, or good for my age, maybe. That’s as much as I can expect.”

“Is that so?”

She nodded. “It’s okay, I don’t have a problem with that, but it does make me wonder about you.”

“Whether I have impaired vision?”

“Do you?”

He laughed. “No, I don’t. I can see you perfectly.”

“Hmm, well that wasn’t what I meant anyway. You could be having dinner with someone your own age, someone who really is beautiful. So, what is it with you? Why are you so desperate?”

“I’m not desperate.” He took a long drink of water, then put down his glass and met her eyes. “I can find a woman to have dinner with if I want to.”

Of course he could. One flash of his life-changing smile at that Sydney hotel and she’d agreed to have dinner with him. How could she possibly think that he didn’t have the same devastating effect on every woman he met?

“Finding a woman I want to spend time with after dinner is more difficult. I enjoy talking to you, and you have a great laugh once you relax. I like that. Is it so hard to understand?”

Flattered in spite of herself, she said, “I understand that we got on well—”

“I think that’s putting it mildly.”

“Okay, I get that we were drawn to each other, that there was some sort of…thing between us, but it was meant to be just one night. In private, not like this.” She gestured around the restaurant. “Doesn’t it bother you that people will look at us and wonder what you’re doing with someone so old?”

“You’re not old, but if they want to wonder about us, let them. You didn’t worry about what people thought in Sydney.”

She gasped, then reached for her water glass again.

“Sorry. That was—”

“True.” She looked up, and broke into a reluctant smile. “You were a bad influence on me.”

He grinned. “I hope so. Coralie—”

“Cora, remember?”

“Cora. Sorry, you’ve been Coralie in my dreams. You have no idea how glad I am to have found you again.”

She coughed as her water went down the wrong way. “Let’s get one thing clear, Alex. I agreed to have dinner with you, and that’s all I’m going to do. This isn’t Sydney, and things are different here. My daughter will be expecting me home tonight.”

“You have a daughter?”

“Yes.”

“How old is she?”

“Twenty. Her name’s Fern. She normally shares a cramped little house near the uni with friends, but she comes home often because most of her clothes and shoes are at home. No room for them there, you see. She’s home tonight. Well, not right now — she’s gone out with a friend because I said I wouldn’t be home to cook dinner.”

And if Fern knew why she wasn’t home to cook dinner, she’d be shocked and horrified, or at the very least, would disapprove. It would be hard for any daughter to discover that her mother was out with a man she didn’t know. It would be particularly difficult for Fern who had idolised her father and clearly believed that Cora would be single for the rest of her life.

“I have a daughter too,” Alex said.

“Oh no!” She straightened. She would never forgive herself if she’d helped him to cheat on his wife. “Please tell me you’re not married.”

“I’m not. I’m divorced.”

She expelled a long breath, relieved that she hadn’t stumbled into the role of the other woman. She shook her head. “I can’t believe that I didn’t even ask before...well, you know.”

“I’m glad that you didn’t think you needed to.”

No, she hadn’t needed to ask. She’d known that he had integrity; she’d felt it in her bones. Relaxing a little, she said, “So, how old is your daughter?”

“Four.” He took out his wallet and showed her a picture of a cute little girl. Red-haired, not dark like him.

“She’s gorgeous.”

“I know. She looks like her mother.”

Ouch. Why should that bother her? It shouldn’t, but it did.

“What’s her name?”

“Sophie.”

“Couldn’t you have made the marriage work for her sake?”

He shook his head. Closing the wallet he said, “Don’t get me wrong, I would have tried, but my wife was the one who decided to end it. She had other ideas about what she should be doing with her life.”

“Why did she marry you, then?”

“Who knows? I don’t think she realised that work was such a big part of my life. She probably envisaged us jetting off on holiday whenever she felt like it.”

Cora snorted. “Not many people can do that.”

“Exactly. But she had a privileged upbringing and life with me was a let-down. She wanted to entertain all the time too. Parties are her idea of relaxing.” He sighed. “But not mine, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, I’m with you there. What about your daughter, though? Do you see her often?”

He grimaced. “It’s not easy. Her mother usually manages to find a reason not to let me see Sophie at the arranged time. And then, when it’s least convenient, she suddenly needs me to look after her.”

“Frustrating.”

“Yes, but there’s not much I can do about it. If I try to reason with her, she flies into a huff and refuses to let me see Sophie until she feels like it.”

“Have you been to court about this?”

“Of course, I’m a lawyer. But there’s only so much that can be done by the courts. I’m still dependent on my ex-wife’s cooperation, and subject to her whims.” He shrugged. “I just have to deal with it.”

“I suppose so.” She was glad her marriage hadn’t ended in divorce. Not that she was happy about the way it had ended, of course, but divorce had to be so difficult, especially where children were involved. She’d seen how bitter her sister Gwen had become about her marriage split.

Relaxing a little more she said, “I also have a son. Justin. He’s finished uni and he’s travelling, seeing something of the world before he settles down to work. He’s the one I’m keeping the business going for.”

“Oh?”

“In theory, my two sisters have an equal share in the company, but neither of them is interested in running it, and their daughters are still kids. My youngest sister, Lily, is happy to work there and draw an income, but until we sell the business and share the proceeds, it’s mine to manage, and then my son’s when he’s ready.” She looked away, remembering that she and Paul had talked of taking off on a cruise when Justin was old enough to take over. Plans they’d never had an opportunity to put into practice. She drew in a slow breath and turned back to Alex. “When Paul had his first heart attack, I promised him that I wouldn’t sell the business off, but I’d keep it operating and profitable for Justin. Keep it in the family. It’s what my father would have wanted too.”

“I see. So, your husband’s death was sudden?”

She took a moment to answer. She didn’t talk about that time in her life. With the exception of Eric, only family had been there at the hospital, and afterwards, she’d done her best to put the whole painful experience behind her. She certainly hadn’t wanted to discuss it with anyone, and the few friends she’d had back then weren’t the type to push — they weren’t the type to hang around waiting for her to open up either, come to think of it. Not that it had bothered her when they vanished. But anyway, sufficient time had gone by now, that she could think back over those harrowing days without feeling as if all the air had been sucked out of the room.

“He recovered from the first heart attack,” she said, then swallowed. “They operated, and he seemed to be getting better. Then, a couple of weeks later, he had another massive heart attack, and there was nothing they could do.”

Her voice sounded odd to her own ears. She pressed her lips together, willing herself not to lose it here in the restaurant.

“It must have been terrible.”

After swallowing, she said, “Yes, it was. But I didn’t have time to dwell on it. Employees depended on Selwoods for their livelihoods; I simply had to pick myself up and get on with running the business. I suppose that helped me to get over the shock.”

Alex looked at her as if he wasn’t sure what to say, but the arrival of their meals saved him the trouble. Cora returned the smile of the young woman who delivered them; she was almost sure she’d gone to school with Fern.

 Great. It would be just her luck for news of her date to pop up on whatever social media network was flavour of the month with Fern and her friends. Her appetite had gone missing, and she picked at the vegetables on her plate, avoiding the chicken.

 “How many people do you employ?”

“Around forty-five. That’s the core workforce, but it varies. If we have a lot of projects on, we hire more people on a casual basis so that we can achieve the schedule we’ve committed to.”

“Do you get to Sydney often?”

She shook her head.

“There’s a daily flight.”

“Yes, but I can’t afford the time to go away more than absolutely necessary. When I really can’t avoid it, I try to get everything done in one visit.”

“Right. So, do you think you could manage to fit me in during a visit as well?”

“Fit you in? What do you mean?”

“I’d like to see you the next time you come to Sydney.”

Cora put down her cutlery and sat back, giving him a direct look. “Alex, that’s not going to happen.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just not workable.”

“I’ll come here, then.”

“Alex, please understand. I’m a business owner with an image to maintain. I don’t want people to see me running around town with a younger man.”

“Is that the problem? My age?”

“Yes. No. Not entirely.”

She sighed. “I told you, I don’t date. People here still remember my husband. They’d talk.”

He smiled and God help her, her blood ran hot in her veins.

“What do you think they’d say?”

“That I’m—” She stopped. “It really doesn’t matter what they’d say. I’m not going to put myself in that position, okay?”

“No, it’s not okay by me. Not at all, and I like a challenge,” he said. “I don’t give up easily.”

Chapter 5  

Lily was waiting at Cora’s office door when she arrived at work the next morning. She frowned. Lily was never early for work. On time, yes, but not early, because she ran around after her husband and daughter in the mornings, making sure they ate a good breakfast before leaving the house — and probably forgot to feed herself in the process.

“Is something wrong?”

Lily shook her head, then grinned. “Have you heard the news?”

“Only what I caught on the radio on the way in. Something about a sit-in protest at a library. Sounds like a dream. Think of all the books you could read—”

“Not that news. Haven’t you seen Gwen’s email?”

Cora shook her head. “I haven’t checked yet. I had other things on my mind this morning.”

“She’s coming home.”

After unlocking her office door, Cora gestured to Lily to enter and followed her inside. She dumped her handbag and pile of folders on the desk and walked around it to sit down. “For a holiday?”

“For good. She asked if she can use Mum and Dad’s old house if it’s not tenanted. You haven’t got anyone new to take over the lease yet, have you?”

“No, it’s still sitting empty. I don’t see any reason why she shouldn’t move in. Will she be on her own?”

“No! There’s no way she’d leave Melbourne without Becky.”

“Right. I wonder how Becky feels about moving somewhere new at her age, but I guess we’ll find out soon enough. When will they be here?”

“Soon. Within the next few weeks. She’s just packing up the house now, and selling off the furniture she doesn’t want to bring with her. Do you want to tell her about the house, or shall I?”

If she wrote the email her sister would read a hidden message in her words and refuse to come after all. She couldn’t seem to do anything right when it came to Gwen. Almost every conversation ended in a row or the silent treatment. She sighed. “You do it.”

“It will be great to have her living close by, won’t it?” Lily smiled and went on without waiting for an answer. “Did you have a nice meal last night?”

“Very nice, thank you.” Not that she’d tasted much of it — she’d be hard put to recall what she’d eaten, actually. Hopefully, Lily wouldn’t ask.

“What’s his name?”

“Alex.”

“Is he very good-looking?”

“Yes. Yes, he is,” she said with a sigh. “Too good-looking.”

Lily said, “I don’t think there’s any such thing as too good-looking. So, you’re seeing him again, are you?”

“Not exactly. I’m not sure. He said if I won’t go to Sydney he’ll come here, but I keep telling him that it won’t work. He doesn’t listen.”

“Why won’t it work?”

“Well, his age, for one thing. He’s younger than me.”

“Why is it a problem? How much younger is he?”

“Seven years.”

“Pfft.” Lily smiled. “That’s nothing. Are you really that uncomfortable with dating a man seven years younger?”

“Yes.” Tiring of the conversation, Cora took her handbag from the desk and slid it onto a shelf beside her. This talk wouldn’t get her anywhere but back to where she started.

“I assume he doesn’t have a problem with your age?”

Cora shook her head.  “Though I don’t understand what he could possibly see in a bossy old battle-axe like me.”

“Oh, Cora, you must be kidding.” Lily laughed. “Yes, you can be bossy, but you’re also attractive, and clever too. Maybe he’s drawn to your brain? And he’s already seen whatever there is to see, hasn’t he?”

“It was different in Sydney. It was fun. It was supposed to be just one night, remember? It’s easier to be brave when you think you don’t have to face someone again.”

“Why shouldn’t it be fun now?”

“Well, he’s talking about a relationship.”

“Ugh.” Lily pressed her lips together, her eyes twinkling. “That’s the trouble with men today, they’re only interested in relationships. Where have all the good ones gone? The ones who were prepared to have meaningless sex.”

Cora grimaced. “I know, I know. I sound stupid. But I wasn’t planning on having a relationship when I met him.”

“And nothing happens unless you’ve planned it in meticulous detail, does it?”

Cora ignored Lily’s comment. “Having a relationship means that at some point we’d have to see each other naked with the lights on, and he’s not my husband. Paul had to accept the changes in my body; he was responsible for some of them. His babies caused the stretch marks and the caesarean scar, and then of course, you don’t really notice the effects of aging when you see someone every day and it’s a gradual process, and you’re aging yourself at the same rate.”

“I know what you mean,” Lily said. “I know I’m younger than you, but I couldn’t imagine letting anybody but Daniel see me starkers.”

Cora shook her head. “No, exactly. I don’t think I could cope with Alex’s reaction.”

“If he really likes you, though, he won’t care, will he?”

“I don’t know about that. I’m not convinced.” Cora flicked through the files on her desk, looking for the one she’d need for her first meeting of the day. “And besides, we’re on my home ground here. This is where I live and work. It’s where people know me, and those same people knew Paul.”

“You could go to Sydney to see him, and then no one would have to know about him.”

“But I really don’t have the time for travelling backwards and forwards. I have a business to run. He’s busy too, but he’s happy to come here whenever he can, only...he doesn’t see why we shouldn’t be open about our relationship.”

“I have to admit, I don’t get that either,” Lily said. “It’s not as if you’re going to be cavorting with someone unsavoury. I mean, I know he’s a lawyer, but there are worse things he could be.”

Cora smiled. “True. He could be a tax auditor.”

“Or a politician,” Lily said. “I agree with him. You don’t need to hide him away. No one is going to think badly of you for having a relationship after all this time. You must get lonely.”

Cora sighed. It was true. Apart from her sister, she didn’t have any friends to speak of. She’d lost touch with her single friends after marrying Paul, and he wasn’t big on socialising, so the few friends they’d had as a couple early on, drifted away — apart from Eric, but the two men had known each other forever. She’d got on with Eric’s wife Dinah, but only because it meant she had someone to talk to when they were all together. She’d hardly seen Dinah since Paul died, and she only saw Eric on business matters.

She sighed. “I don’t have time to think about being lonely. Work keeps me occupied.”

“I know,” Lily said, shrugging. “But still.”

Cora shook her head. She was flattered that a man like Alex wanted to see her again. What middle-aged woman wouldn’t be? But flattering was all it was. Realistic, it wasn’t.

Chapter 6  

Cora put the final touches to the first proper meal she’d cooked in ages — proper in the sense that she’d made every part of it from scratch, even the puff pastry for the Beef Wellington — while Alex sat at the table, watching her. He’d offered to help, but it was weird enough having him there in the house she’d shared with Paul, without seeing him doing anything so domestic as helping her prepare a meal.

She’d offered to cook for him, not because she wanted to impress him with her rusty culinary skills, but because of her apprehension about being seen around town with Alex by people she knew.

It was now four weeks since they’d had dinner at the Clarendon, and he’d phoned her several times. Every couple of days, in fact. Before long she’d anticipated his calls, waited for them, her stomach somersaulting at the sight of his name on her phone’s screen. Then, a week ago, the calls had stopped. She’d assumed that he’d come to his senses and given up on her. She’d been okay with that. Well, she’d told herself she was okay with that despite every cell in her body calling her a liar.

But then he’d phoned and apologised, explaining that he’d been working day and night on a major case and with the bulk of the work out of the way, he was taking time off and wanted to see her. As hard as she’d tried to treat the call casually, Cora had failed. At the sound of his voice, her heart had banged against her ribs like a feral cat caught in a cage. With her heartbeat reverberating in her ears, she couldn’t even think of refusing to see him. She couldn’t, and she didn’t want to.

“It’s just about ready to eat,” she said now, turning to face him and receiving a jolt, once again, because the sight of him did that to her. Every time.

The table was set. He’d already opened the wine and there was nothing to do but serve it up. Oh, and pray that she hadn’t lost her touch and it would be edible, maybe even impressive enough to justify inviting him. How embarrassing if it turned out to be ghastly.

Later when they were, to Cora’s relief, enjoying the meal, Alex said, “This is a nice house. Have you lived here long?”

“Yes, years. My husband and I designed and built it together. We started off in a very small place and then, when the business was doing well and we could afford it, we bought this block of land. It was a few more years before we could start to build, but we knew it was going to be our forever home, so we didn’t mind the wait. Well, not too much. It was worth waiting, anyway.”

“You must have been very happy here together.”

“Yes.” She swallowed. “Very happy.”

“You don’t mind living here alone?”

“But I don’t live here alone. Well, yes, I’m the only one here most of the time, but it’s the kids’ home as well. Fern comes home during the holidays, and for the odd weekend when she can. Justin will be back when he’s finished his travels. So, it’s still a family home.”

“Right. I see.”

“What kind of home do you have? I bet it’s an apartment, one that’s all minimalist and masculine.”

“It’s a house. A renovated Victorian terrace.”

“Really?”

“I have to live somewhere suitable for my daughter, remember? The garden is only small, but it’s big enough for us, and it’s shady, so she can play outside safely. I hope you’ll come and see it. Soon.”

She balanced her knife on the edge of her plate and lifted her wine glass, saying, “Alex, we need to talk.”

“I thought we were talking.”

“I mean, about your expectation that I’ll fall into a relationship with you.” She sighed, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea by agreeing to see you tonight. I still believe it wouldn’t work.”

His gorgeous grey eyes regarded her steadily. “Okay, you said we need to talk, so let’s talk for real. You explain to me why it wouldn’t work. Don’t just tell me that and expect me to accept it. Let’s get all your reservations out on the table, and then we can move past them.”

She lifted her chin. “What’s the point in me talking about my concerns if you’re already planning to dismiss them as if they’re unimportant?”

“I won’t dismiss them out of hand. I’ll listen, I promise, and I’ll consider each one of them on its merits.”

“You sound like a lawyer.”

His mouth twitched. “Is that your first reason?”

“No!” She took a drink, but what she’d meant to be a sip turned into a gulp. At this rate she’d polish off the bottle on her own, and a fat lot of sense she’d make then. She put the glass down. “Okay, for a start, the age difference is a major hurdle for me.”

“Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“No. If we’re supposed to be getting everything out in the open, you need to explain that statement.”

“All right. Since you’re making me say it, I’m not a young woman any more, and I don’t have a young woman’s body. I have wrinkles and cellulite, and nothing is where is used to be.” She could see that he was struggling to keep a straight face now. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m not laughing at you, I swear. But I’m amused by the picture you paint of yourself, because it’s so far from reality that it’s comical.” He shook his head. “You’re beautiful, Cora.

Exasperated, she said, “I’m not talking about the person you see when I’m fully clothed. It’s easy to hide things like that. The only time you saw me naked the lights were off.”

He was silent for a long moment, then he cleared his throat. “That’s not strictly true, you know.”

“What?”

“I woke up at first light.” He shrugged. “I would have got up and closed the curtains, but I didn’t want to disturb you. It took me half an hour or so to get back to sleep. What else did I have to do but look at you? I’ll say it again. You’re beautiful.”

“Oh my.” She covered her mouth with her hand, too horrified for words.

“So, you see, that argument holds no water and we can disregard it. Now, is there anything else about the age difference that bothers you?”

She tried to drag her thoughts into order. “Well, yes. You could be with a younger woman.”

“I could.” He sighed. “I was married to a younger woman, and believe me, there are advantages to dating a woman over forty.”

“Like what?”

“Well, would you wake me up in the middle of the night to ask me what I’m thinking?”

Her mouth twitched into a smile. “No.”

“No, and you wouldn’t clog up my phone with nonsensical texts either. You’d only message me when you had something to say. I know you wouldn’t whinge if I had to do some work instead of going out, because you’d probably have some of your own to do. And you’re dignified.” His face twisted as if he was remembering something distasteful. “You wouldn’t want a public screaming match, especially over something trivial, would you?”

“God, no. I can’t think of anything worse.”

“Have I answered your question?”

“Well, yes. But my daughter’s boyfriend is older than you.”

“Is he?” He shrugged. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do anything about that. Still, I think your issue is with him rather than me.”

“Yes, that’s true.” She nodded, blowing out a breath. “I have a big problem with him and he knows it.”

Alex returned to his meal. “This Beef Wellington is great, by the way.”

“Thanks. I’m glad you like it.”

After several moments, he said, “So, is that all? Have we finished discussing your concerns?”

“No.” She hesitated, picked up her glass again and sipped at it. “You see, I hate the thought of people gossiping about me, especially my employees. I have an image to maintain.”

“Right. Well, nobody likes to be subject of gossip. Why would people gossip about us, though?”

“Not about you. The fact that you’re younger than me is only part of it. I’d probably feel the same way about being seen with any man, no matter who that man was, to be honest. Paul was well-known and well-liked in this town, and I’m still thought of as his wife.”

“Do you still feel like his wife?”

Slowly, she said, “Yes, I guess I do, despite the amount of time that’s gone by.”

He stared at his plate for a moment before raising his eyes to meet hers. “Maybe you’re not as over your husband’s death as you thought you were? Did you feel guilty after our night in Sydney? Did you feel as if you were betraying him?”

“No,” she said quickly, then she frowned, considering his question. “Well, yes, I suppose there was some guilt mixed in with everything else I felt, if I’m honest.”

“Please be honest with me. Do you still love him?”

This felt too personal. She didn’t want to discuss her most deeply-buried emotions with this man, as much as she liked him. She didn’t know him well enough. It took time to develop the level of trust she’d need to feel able to talk about such private feelings.

She sighed loudly. “I care about what other people think of me. I can’t help that.”

He took the change of direction in his stride. “And you really believe that people will judge you for dating again after six years of living alone?”

“Some of them will.”

“Do those people matter?”

“Some of them do. Especially my children and my sisters.” As she spoke she remembered Lily encouraging her to see Alex, and Gwen might react the same way, but her children wouldn’t, she was sure.

“Your family would want you to be happy, wouldn’t they?”

She didn’t answer his question. Instead, she said, “I can’t afford to get distracted, or sidetracked. I’m trying to run a business. People rely on me for their wages.”

“I understand. But a little relaxation makes for a healthier mind, don’t you agree?” He looked at her expectantly. “Surely that’s a good thing?”

He did have a point. And if that relaxation included fantastic sex — her eyes closed as memories overwhelmed her — then it could be a very, very good thing. With a little gasp, she pushed those thoughts back into their box, and opened her eyes. She saw his triumphant smile, and okay, it did seem a waste to let him fly back to Sydney when she had this big, empty house, and a big empty bed. And good, thick curtains on the windows which she would definitely close before they went to sleep so that no early morning light could sneak in and wake him.

Chapter 7  

Waking in her own bed with Alex was nothing like regaining consciousness in the hotel. She had no intention of escaping this time, and he clearly had no intention of letting her get away either. One arm clamped around her waist while he spooned her was evidence of that.

“Are you awake?” she asked, keeping her voice low.

He nuzzled the place where her neck joined her shoulder and a tremor coursed through her.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then,” she said.

He shifted slightly, allowing her to roll onto her back, then he lifted himself up on one elbow. She loved how relaxed he looked in her bed. His face was shadowed by the overnight growth of stubble and he was too sexy for words. “Good morning,” he said, smiling down at her.

Yes, it was a good morning. Very, very good. “Are you ready for breakfast?”

“Not yet.” He kissed her shoulder and said, “Do you have anything urgent to get up for?”

“No. It’s not a work day. I don’t have to be anywhere.” She shivered when he ran a line of kisses across her collar bone.

“Are you cold?” He tugged the covers over both of them and pulled her into his arms.

She hadn’t known she was cold until she felt the warmth of his skin on hers and she snuggled closer, wanting more, wondering how she’d managed so long without the sensation of a man’s arms around her, keeping her safe—

“Mum! Where are you?”

Cora froze.

“Aren’t you up yet?”

The bedroom door flew open before Cora had had time to react. “Fern!”

“Mum!”

Cora lurched out of Alex’s arms and clasping the bedclothes at her throat, said, “What are you doing here?”

Fern gave her a disgusted look. “What am I doing?”

“You’re not supposed to be here this weekend.”

“Russell and I thought we’d surprise you, and take you out for lunch.”

They’d definitely succeeded in surprising her.

“Is this what you do all the time when I’m not here?”

“Fern, don’t be ridiculous.” Cora spied Russell smirking in the background, and snapped, “For goodness sake, close the door. I’ll talk to you later.”

The door slammed and Cora let her head drop back against the pillow. “Oh, no. Oh, no. This is terrible. I can’t believe this has happened.”

Alex leaned on one elbow and looked down at her. He brushed her hair tenderly from her face with his fingertips. “Don’t worry. I know this isn’t the ideal way for her to find out, but now you don’t have to stress over the best way to tell her.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I wasn’t going to tell her.”

“Maybe not so soon.”

“You don’t understand. This is the worst thing that could have happened.”

“Now, you’re exaggerating.”

“I’m not.” Cora sat up, bunching the bedclothes around her. “I need to talk to Fern. Will you get dressed and leave while I’m trying to undo some of the damage we’ve done? Please?”

“We’ve done nothing wrong. We’re both adults.”

She gave her head an impatient shake. “That’s not the point.”

“Let’s talk to her together—”

“No! Please…just leave us alone.”

With an exasperated sigh he swung his long legs over the side of the bed and rose, dressing quickly. Only once he was fully clothed did he turn and look at her again, his expression grim. “Shall I call you before I leave town?”

She shook her head. With her heart jamming her throat, speaking wasn’t an option.

“Fine. You want me to leave you alone? That’s what I’ll do.” He headed for the door without another glance.

When the door closed behind Alex, a spear of regret stabbed her stomach and she doubled over. What had she done?

After several moments of wallowing, she slowly straightened. She knew what she was doing. Her children were her first priority. They were the most important people in the world. They were her world.

That was how it worked as a parent, as a mother especially; it was impossible not to put them first. And if Alex couldn’t understand that, then she’d been right about a relationship between them not working. She should never have caved in last night. She should have been strong in the face of his logic. She should have resisted the look in his grey eyes instead of letting it act on her like a drug.

She was ashamed of herself for letting desire cloud her vision, but all she could do now was attempt to put things right with Fern.

Chapter 8  

“It won’t take Becky long to settle in.” Cora looked at Gwen over the rim of her coffee cup. “Once you get her into school and she starts making friends.”

Gwen sighed. “I hope you’re right. I thought I was doing the right thing moving her away from Stuart now that he’s engrossed with his new family and ignoring her, but you’d think I was the worst mother in the world the way she carries on.”

Cora laughed briefly and said,. “Join the club. Fern hates me at the moment. I only hope it’s not permanent.”

“Oh, Cora,” Lily said. “She doesn’t hate you.”

 Gwen flicked her long dark hair over one shoulder. “Is this about the man that Fern caught you in bed with?”

Cora shot a glare at Lily. “Thanks for keeping that quiet.”

“I haven’t told anyone but Gwen and she doesn’t count. She’s our sister.”

“What happened to him, anyway?” Gwen said.

“Cora sent him away.”

Cora shrugged. “Lily thinks I’m being ridiculous.”

 “I wouldn’t go that far,” Lily said. “I don’t think you’re ridiculous to care about Fern’s feelings, obviously. I wouldn’t want anything to hurt Emma either. And I know you’re extra protective of Fern because Paul’s death hit her so hard.” Lily added a low-calorie sweetener to her own coffee and stirred.

“But?”

“But, you do have to think of yourself as well.” Lily sipped her coffee then put the cup down again. “I mean, Fern is already an adult. It probably won’t be long before she settles down and starts her own family.”

Cora grimaced. “Don’t say that. Oh, god, I hope she doesn’t think of settling down with Russell. I couldn’t bear it.”

“You would, though. You wouldn’t like it, for sure, but you’d accept that he was her choice and get on with it.”

“I don’t know. I think you have far too much faith in me, Lily. I’m not sweet and forgiving like you.” Cora scanned the coffee shop, checking that no one could overhear their conversation.

“No, I haven’t. You love Fern, and it’s more important to you to have her in your life than it is to see Russell out of it.”

“Now you’re giving me a headache.”

Gwen rolled her eyes. “Cora, all Lily is trying to say is that Fern will get over seeing you and Alex together, and you have a right not to be lonely.”

Cora tipped her cup and swallowed the last mouthful of coffee. She pushed the cup and saucer away. “I’m worried that she’ll feel as if both parents have abandoned her — her father, physically, and her mother, emotionally.”

“I think she’ll come to realise that you don’t love her any less just because you have a man in your life,” Lily said, “and when she sees how happy he makes you, she’ll have to admit that he’s good for you.”

“He does make you happy, doesn’t he?” Gwen asked.

Cora felt her face heat up and covered it with her hands, groaning softly. When she parted her fingers and looked at her sisters, both of them were grinning.

Chapter 9  

Cora sat at the breakfast table. She was going to be late for work, but for once she didn’t care. Well, she did, but she was determined not to hurry. She was about to have a long overdue conversation with Fern who was home for the holidays. She’d done a lot of thinking since her coffee with Lily and Gwen the week before, and she’d made some decisions.

Fern breezed in. “Still here, Mum?” She wrinkled her nose. “Coffee? Thought you only drank tea in the morning?”

“I do, normally.” Cora lowered her mug. “I fancied a change.”

“Tea’s better for you.”

“I don’t care.”

Fern turned to stare. “What’s going on with you this morning? You’re being weird.”

“Just because I don’t want a cup of tea?”

With narrowed eyes Fern said, “Is this something to do with that man you were seeing? Because we talked about that, remember? I don’t want him here.”

Cora sighed heavily. When had the balance of power shifted between them? When had her daughter stopped asking her what she should do, and started telling her what she should do? When had Fern stopped being worried about her mother finding out what she was up to , and started monitoring what Cora was doing? She couldn’t pinpoint when their roles had reversed, but this was the day when she would put them back on the right footing. She was not only Fern’s mother, she was an independent woman, and the managing director of a business that kept nearly fifty people employed. She loved Fern dearly, but she had to take back her power.

“Honey, can you come and sit down, please?”

“Why?”

“I want to talk to you.”

Fern took her time pouring a mug of coffee from the pot Cora had made, before strolling to the table and plonking herself down into a chair. She took her phone out of the pocket in her silk robe. Cora reached over and snatched it out of her hand.

“Hey!”

“I don’t want to talk to you while you check your emails, update your status, or whatever else is more important than listening to me. I want to have a conversation, and above all, I want you to hear me.”

“How can I not hear you when you’re barking at me?”

Cora struggled not to react, or the conversation would be sidetracked and end up as a row which she did not want. After a moment’s silence she said, “I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I need you to know that I don’t like Russell.”

“What? This is about Russell? I thought it was about your ex-boyfriend. With the emphasis on boy.”

“It’s about both, actually. First, I want to talk about Russell. He’s much older than you, Fern.”

“Oh, duh, I hadn’t noticed. Anyway, you’re much older than thingo.”

“His name’s Alex.”

“So? I don’t need to know that, do I? Because you’re not going to see him again.”

“I can’t stop you seeing Russell because you’re supposedly an adult—”

“Supposedly? I am an adult.”

“Sometimes, Fern, you don’t behave like one, to be honest. Maybe that’s my fault, maybe I’ve been too soft with you because of your dad, but look, my point is that I can’t stop you seeing him, but I can forbid you to bring him here. I don’t want him in my house ever again. And this is my house.”

Indignant, Fern said, “I live here too.”

“Yes, but only if you follow my rules. If you don’t like my rules, you can find somewhere else to live.” Her stomach felt hollow. It wasn’t easy to lay down the law to her only daughter, but maybe some new guidelines would be as good for Fern as they would be for herself. First, though, she had to survive this conversation.

Gaping, Fern said, “You’d throw me out?”

“I’d rather not have to.”

“Oh my god.” Fern tossed her head. “Not that I care; I can move in with Russell if I want. It’s not as if I need to live here, but you’ll regret it if I do move out because you’ll be here all alone.”

Cora swallowed. The last thing she wanted to do was push Fern more firmly into Russell’s arms. She didn’t want to lose her daughter altogether, but she had to stand her ground, and hope that this relationship between Fern and Russell couldn’t last.

“You can come home whenever you want, of course. I’d love to see you as often as possible, but it has to be on my terms from now on. The other thing I want to say is...” she hesitated, choosing her words, “that if I decide to see Alex again, I will.”

Really, what she meant was, if he forgave her for cutting him out of her life as if he meant nothing to her at all — right after they’d spent a night making love. This time he’d taken her at her word and hadn’t contacted her since the day she’d sent him away. She missed his calls, but worse, she knew that his silence indicated that he’d had enough and wasn’t going to try to talk her around again. He’d been the one making all the effort, and as far as she could see, she’d done nothing to justify it. He had every right to think she was too much trouble after all.

“He’s too young.”

“You can’t have it both ways, honey. If Russell’s not too old for you, then Alex is not too young for me.”

After pouting into her coffee for a while, Fern said, “When you say ‘see him’, you don’t mean you’ll bring him here, to this house, do you?”

“Actually, yes. If I choose to, I will. As I said, it’s my house, and I have the right to entertain my own guests here.”

“It’s not just your house, though, is it? It’s the house that Dad built for you. What about his memory? Don’t you think about him at all anymore? Have you stopped loving him?”

Cora gasped before she could stop herself. Fern might as well have punched her. “Is that your problem with me seeing Alex? Do you think I’m being unfaithful to your dad?”

Fern’s eyes were wet with tears. “It’s not just what I think...it’s how it is.”

“But it’s been six years, honey.”

“I know how long it’s been since my dad died, thank you very much. You’re six years older than you were then, and at your age, you shouldn’t need anyone else.”

Cora shook her head. “I’m afraid that’s not true. I thought it was, though, I admit. I was prepared to be alone for the rest of my days. I haven’t looked at another man in any romantic or sexual way—”

“Ew, Mum. Don’t be so disgusting.”

“I haven’t thought about being with another man since your father died. Not until I met Alex, and he looked at me like I was still worth looking at.”

“Of course you’re still worth looking at.” Fern waved a dismissive hand. “I just don’t see why you care whether you are or not.”

Cora frowned. “I don’t know either. It’s not something I can explain, but I do know that he makes me feel—”

“Don’t say ‘young’.”

“Special. I was going to say special. And now that he’s gone from my life, I miss that as much as I miss him. I think everybody deserves to feel special to someone else, don’t you?”

Fern’s eyes closed and her lips pressed into a thin line.

“Well, that was all I wanted to say.” And probably more than she’d intended. “I have to go to work now,” she said as she rose.

Ferns eyes snapped open. “So, basically, you’re saying that you’re going to do what the hell you like, and you don’t give a— a toss what I say about it?”

“Yes. Basically, I am.”

“So why should I give a toss what you say about Russell?”

“Like I said, you’re an adult. You don’t have to listen to me, but if you’re going to continue to see him, don’t bring him here again.” She turned to leave.

“Mum, haven’t you forgotten something?”

“Yes, of course.” Cora walked around the table and gave her daughter a kiss and a hug, glad that Fern still wanted her to do it. “Have a good day, honey.”

Fern gave her a stony stare. “I meant, my phone.”

Chapter 10  

The next day at the café near the office, Cora paid for sandwiches for Lily and herself and carried them over to the table near the window where Lily was waiting.

Once she was sitting down Lily said, “Gwen and I were a bit tough on you over coffee last week. Especially me, and I’ve been meaning to apologise for that.”

“No, don’t,” Cora said. “I needed to hear it. And now I’ve told Fern that I’m not going to be governed by what she thinks I should do.”

“Have you? Gosh. Well, good for you. How did she take it?”

Cora waggled her hand in a so-so gesture. “She sort of threatened to move in with Russell.”

“Oops, that wasn’t the desired result. I hope we haven’t made things worse.”

“I have a feeling that she won’t go through with it. She didn’t make it sound like her preferred option.”

“Really? So there’s hope that she might be tiring of him, then?”

“Maybe. I’ll have to wait and see.”

“Is that why you wanted to have lunch, to tell me about Fern?”

“No, there’s something else. I’ve booked a flight to Sydney on Friday afternoon, and this time I don’t have any business to take care of in the city. I have one purpose in going there, and only one purpose. To see Alex.”

“Wow. Isn’t that a bit of a risk, though? You said he might not what to see you again after the way you treated him. What if you tell him you’re in Sydney and he says, “So what?’”

Cora nodded. “That’s the whole point. I need to show him that I’ve made an effort and taken a risk, so that he won’t think I’m likely to change my mind again in the next moment.”

“I’m impressed. Cora, warrior woman.”

Cora laughed. “Hardly. I’m shaking at the thought.”

True to her word, Cora waited till she arrived in Sydney before phoning Alex. She’d booked a return flight for Sunday, but no accommodation. If he wanted nothing to do with her, she’d find a hotel in the city and spend the weekend shopping. But she really hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Her heart thumping, she made the call. “Alex? It’s me, Cora.”

“Cora?”

 “I hope you don’t mind me calling.”

She registered the slight hesitation before he said, “What can I do for you?”

She shut down the inappropriate words that rushed into her head. She had to take this slowly, not behave like a mad woman. “I wondered if you’d like to see me this weekend?” Oh, God, that sounded ridiculous.

“Is this a trick question?”

“No.”

He sighed. “I’m doing what you asked me to do. I’m leaving you alone.”

“Yes, I know.” She licked her dry lips. “What would you say if I told you I was in Sydney?”

After a short silence, he said, “What do you want me to say?”

Cora took a deep breath. “If you’re still interested, I’d like to give us another go, and for that reason, I’m here in Sydney. If you don’t want to see me, or you can’t because it’s bad timing, just say so and I’ll go away. But if you agree, I’d like you to meet me anywhere that suits you.”

“For sex?”

She gasped.

“Because that’s all you want from me, isn’t it? I’m not good enough to meet your family, or your friends, or even be seen in public with you.”

Even as she opened her mouth to deny his words, she knew she had been guilty of treating him badly, and she couldn’t lie.

“Cora, I’m not interested in playing games. We could have been great together, but you were more concerned with appearances than with having a relationship. You couldn’t recognize something real right in front of your face. I’m sorry you’ve had a wasted journey, but I won’t be meeting you. Goodbye, Cora.”

She held the phone to her ear and listened to dead air long after Alex had hung up. What was she supposed to do now? Try and find a seat on the next flight home?

No. She hadn’t come here to be a coward again. She’d had enough of living only half a life. She wouldn’t go home until she’d tried to convince Alex that she wasn’t playing games.

She took a deep breath and dialled again. She wasn’t surprised when Alex’s answer was a wary “Yes?”

“I’m sorry, Alex. It must have seemed that I thought you weren’t good enough, but I promise I never believed that for one minute. It was never that.”

She heard him exhale. At least he hadn’t hung up on her.

“If you’ll give me another chance, I’m ready to try and have something real now. If you still want to, that is. I can’t promise to be brilliant at it, but I will try.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yes.”

“Hang on, someone wants to talk to me.” There was a muffled noise on the line. Cora closed her eyes, the tension making her belly quiver. “Right,” he said when he came back on the line. “So, tell me where you are and I’ll meet you there.”

“At the airport.”

She heard the rattle of computer keys close to the phone, then Alex said, “Damn. I have a meeting that I can’t cancel.”

“It’s okay. I can get in a taxi and wait for you somewhere.”

“What about the hotel where we met? It’s not far from my office. I’ll see you in the bar in...an hour and a half. No, sorry, it might be more like two hours, I’m afraid.”

“That’s fine. No problem. I’ll wait.”

Alex’s home was small, but fully-renovated, and only minutes from the city centre. She hadn’t seen much of it on Friday night, though. All through dinner she’d been aware of tension coiling her insides. She couldn’t take her eyes off his face while they talked, and by the time they’d arrived at the house, she’d been desperate to feel his skin against hers. They hadn’t even reached the bed.

Saturday had been a lovely day spent outdoors, exploring the area, shopping, and generally behaving like a couple, and now Alex was out in the private courtyard, cooking their evening meal on the barbecue while she tossed a salad in his black and stainless steel kitchen. Life was looking good.

When she heard a key in the front door, she looked up, startled, and watched a willowy redhead walk towards her, a little girl in tow. Recognising Sophie from the photograph Alex had shown her, she guessed that this stunner must be his ex-wife. Well, that was just great. As if she didn’t have enough insecurity about her older woman’s body, now she knew she was competing with his memory of his ex’s body as well. Fabulous.

The woman gave her a direct look. “Where’s Alex?”

Cora tilted her head towards the courtyard. “Barbecue.”

Cora smiled at the little re-haired girl trailing after her mother. She had Alex’s grey eyes. Very cute.

She tried not to hear the conversation going on outside, but his ex’s voice in particular was hard to ignore, and from the snippets she picked up, it was clear that she didn’t approve of Cora being there. Well, Cora wasn’t sure that she approved of Alex’s ex-wife letting herself into the house without an invitation, so they were even.

Just as Cora was wondering whether to join them outside since she was starting to feel awkward hanging about in the kitchen, the woman stormed back through the house, minus her daughter and without sparing Cora a glance.

Alex entered a moment later, his arm around Sophie’s shoulders, and gave her a rueful smile. He guided his daughter to one of the sofas and gave her a book from a woven wicker basket, then came over to the kitchen.

“Remember me saying that Annabel tends to dump Sophie on me when it’s least convenient?” he said in a low voice as he joined her. “This is one of those times.”

“I thought it might be.” Cora shrugged. “I’d better ring the airline.”

“Why?”

“To see whether I can change my flight, bring it forward.”

“Don’t go.”

He stepped closer and put his hands on her waist. Even that small contact gave her tingles.

“I know it’s not exactly what you were expecting, but we’ll be alone tonight once Sophie’s asleep. And Annabel promised to pick her up in the morning, so we’ll have a few hours to ourselves before you go to the airport.”

“I don’t want to spoil your precious time with your daughter. You should be able to focus on her while she’s here, and keep her here all day Sunday if you have the option.”

“I wouldn’t normally have had her this weekend.”

“But now that you have, you should give her your undivided attention. I took a risk coming over unannounced — it could have been your week to have her, and I didn’t even think about the possibility.”

She should have thought about it, because in all honesty, was this what she wanted? His daughter was a complication that she hadn’t even considered. She didn’t want to be a stepmother — admittedly that was a leap into a future they hadn’t even discussed, but she should think about it now, because clearly, Alex and Sophie came as a package deal. There was no chance he would cut his daughter out of his life; nor would she ask him to do so. What would be the point of waiting until she’d fallen in love with him, and then deciding that life with him and his child was not what she wanted?

On that road lay pain for both of them, especially for her. If leaving him now would hurt, she could only imagine what it would feel like to break up once she’d fully opened the barricades to her heart and let him inside.

What a complete idiot she’d been, not taking his role as a father into account when she’d rushed into saying she wanted to make a relationship with him work. She was at an age when she wanted to simplify her life, not make it more complicated. It was as much as she could do to manage Selwoods, and she hadn’t done such a crash-hot job of that recently. She’d dropped the ball in a couple of areas and Eric had made sure to point out her mistakes.

Raising her own children had exhausted her, and even now she struggled to maintain a rapport with Fern. The prospect of taking on even partial responsibility for another child was just too daunting to contemplate.

He seemed to sense that she was pulling back, having second thoughts about them. His hands dropped away from her waist and he stepped away, his eyes wary. “Let’s eat while the steaks are still edible. I turned the gas off and closed the hood. Hopefully, they’ll be all right.”

She nodded and reached for the salad bowl. How was it possible to go from such a high to such a low in such a short time?

Chapter 11  

“So, Cora,” Gwen said as she handed her a plate of cake in the kitchen of their childhood, “how did you get on with Alex last weekend? Did it work out the way you planned?”

Cora put the plate on the table in front of her, took a mouthful of wine and swirled it across her tongue before saying, “He was glad to see me, and we had a lovely time.”

Lily frowned. “Why don’t you sound happier about that?”

To Cora’s horror, a tear dripped onto the hand holding the wineglass, and she hadn’t even realised that she was crying. She used the back of her other hand to wipe her eyes and blinked to clear her vision. “Sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”

“Hey, don’t apologise,” Gwen said, waving her fork. “It’s good to see that you’re human. I always wondered.”

“Gwen,” Lily said with a frown, “that’s not very nice. It’s safe to cry here if you want to, Cora. We’re your family and we won’t judge you,” she added with a pointed glance at Gwen.

Gwen nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Go ahead and cry.”

Cora took a deep breath. “Thanks, but I don’t want to. Alex’ ex-wife turned up on Saturday to drop off their daughter. It wasn’t pre-arranged, and he wasn’t pleased, but apparently this happens often. Sounds to me like she’s selfish and immature, possibly even  manipulative, but I don’t know enough about her to make that call.”

“Did she say something to upset you?” Lily asked.

Cora smiled at Lily’s indignant tone. Shaking her head, she said, “No, she barely spoke to me at all. She argued with Alex outside, then left. No, it wasn’t that. It was Sophie.”

Gwen and Lily exchanged a glance, then Lily said, “Is she a brat?”

“Not at all. She’s adorable. Completely. But...” She took another drink. “I know this is going to sound shallow, but the thing is, I’ve already had my family. I don’t want to get involved with another one. I don’t want to go through all of that again.”

Lily frowned, and Cora belatedly remembered her sister’s longing for a second child and her husband’s resistance. “Sorry, Lily. I should have thought about your situation.”

“Oh, God, no. Don’t worry about me,” she said. “I was just wondering how involved you’d need to be. I mean, she already has a mother, so it’s not as if she’d live with you and Alex — if you decided to live together, that is.”

Gwen said, “Lily’s right. You wouldn’t be expected to do all that stuff like making costumes for school plays. Her mother would do that, wouldn’t she?”

Cora tried to imagine the woman she’d seen at Alex’s place making a turtle costume as she’d once had to do for Fern. “I’m not sure that she would, but I might be misjudging her. Still, I’m thinking rather of Alex being available to look after Sophie whenever her mother feels like going out on her own. I’d have to get used to our plans being overturned, and doing things appropriate for a four-year-old.” She sighed. “And I know it sounds like I’m being selfish and shallow, but I’m also thinking of Sophie, because if Alex is worrying about letting me down, he’s not going to be fully available for her, is he?”

“She won’t be four forever,” Gwen said, “but I do see your point.”

Lily looked bemused. “I’m sorry, but I don’t. Maybe I’m being dense, but couldn’t you just see Alex when he doesn’t have Sophie? Do you even know whether Alex is thinking about living together? Is he that serious?”

“We haven’t talked about it, but it feels as if he’s serious. If not, he’s gone to an awful lot of trouble for someone he considers short-term.” She shrugged. “But it would be difficult enough to make a relationship work in our situation, without adding in the complication of a child. Alex’s career is in Sydney, and that wouldn’t change. I couldn’t leave Selwoods—”

“Couldn’t you, though?” Gwen gave her a questioning look. “I mean, really, what’s to stop you? You could sell Selwoods, and live comfortably in Sydney on the proceeds. I certainly wouldn’t object to you selling — I could use the money. You could have a much simpler life if that’s what you want, and then you might be able to handle the occasional disruption of caring for his daughter.”

“It’s our children’s inheritance. And Justin’s going to take over from me when he’s ready. That’s always been the plan, but I need to make sure it’s still viable when I hand it on to him.”

“Does he want to take over? Have you asked him? Or was it a dream of Paul’s that’s no longer relevant?”

Cora couldn’t answer the question. It had never occurred to her that Justin might not want to take over Selwoods. It had been a given, ever since Paul had told her that he dreamed of one day handing down the company to their son.

Justin had never given any indication that he wasn’t keen on the idea, but on the other hand, he hadn’t shown any eagerness to come home and take up the reins. He was young, and she understood the urge to see some of the world before settling into such a demanding role, had encouraged it even, believing that the experience could only benefit him when he did take over. But — and it was a very big but — she’d never talked to him about what he wanted in the long-term. Was it possible that Justin would be pleased, even relieved, if she sold the family business?

Gwen and Lily were watching her, waiting for her to respond. She shook herself. “I’ve just realised that I don’t actually know. I’m going to have a talk with Justin before I get ahead of myself.”

“Right. Well, good luck with that. I hope a chat with Justin helps you to decide.”

Lily said, “I don’t think I want you to sell, though. I like working at Selwoods.”

“You won’t need to work once you have your share,” Gwen pointed out.

Lily shrugged. “I enjoy it.”

“I do feel responsible for the people who work there,” Cora said. “Some of them worked for Dad.”

“I know, and it’s understandable that you’d care about them,” Gwen said. “The business has been a big part of your life, but you shouldn’t let it stop you having the future you want. How did you leave things with Alex?”

Cora sighed. “I told him I needed more time to think about us. He wasn’t happy, but he agreed to let me have the time to think.”

Chapter 12  

Cora decided it was late enough in London to phone Justin. Even if she woke him, he couldn’t complain that it was an unreasonable hour.

He answered on the first ring. “Mum, hi!”

“Hello, darling. I didn’t wake you?”

“Nah, I was up. I’ve got a full-day planned. I’m going sky-diving.”

Cora closed her eyes. “Just what a mother wants to hear. Tell me you’re kidding.”

He hesitated, then said, “All right, I’m kidding. Uh, but I can’t talk for long because I’m going...out, okay?”

“You’re really going sky-diving?”

“It’s perfectly safe. I’ve got a parachute and everything. I bought it second-hand.”

“You bought a used parachute? Is that safe?”

“Well, it’s used, but the advert said never-opened.” He laughed. “I’m kidding, Mum.”

“Justin, that’s not funny.”

“Sorry. In fact I go to a reputable club with high safety standards. All their equipment is checked and double-checked.”

“You’ve done this before?”

“Yes, and lived to tell the tale. Now, did you call for a reason, or just for a chat?”

“For a reason.” She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to put the horror of unopened parachutes out of her mind. “I want to talk to you about Selwoods.”

“As in, the business, not the family?”

“Yes, the business. It occurred to me that we’ve never talked about what you want to do about the company.”

His tone became serious. “Do about it? What do you mean? Is there a problem?”

“No, no problem. It’s just that I’ve never asked you whether you want to take over the company the way your dad always intended.”

He sounded puzzled when he said, “I don’t understand why you’re asking the question, but the answer is, of course I do.”

“You do? Oh. Really?”

“Are you struggling to cope, Mum? Is that it? Do you need me to come home now?”

“No, I’m not struggling. I just want to make sure that you mean it, and you didn’t just say it because you consider it’s your duty to take over.”

“You’re making my head hurt now.”

“Because if that’s the case, we could sell the business and you could use your share of the money to set yourself up in whatever you really want.”

The line went silent for a moment, then, “Mum?”

“Yes, darling?”

“You can’t sell Selwoods.”

“Well, I can if—”

“No, you can’t. Grandad started it and built it up. Dad made it more successful. It belongs in the family. Please, don’t even think about selling it. I do want to take over, and seriously, if you need me to come home sooner than planned, I will.”

“No, that’s not necessary. There’s no reason to change your plans.”

“Okay, if you’re sure, I won’t. I don’t want to rush you, but if there’s nothing else, I’d better go. People are waiting for me.”

“Well, be careful, won’t you? I love you.”

“Of course I will. Love you too.”

She stared at the phone in her hand. She’d almost convinced herself that Justin would jump at the chance to be relieved of the burden of managing the family business, but she’d been wrong, and now she was back where she started. 

It  had been lovely to hear Justin’s voice, even if she was now going to worry about him jumping out of a plane. Why he wanted to do such a thing was beyond her, but then, she wasn’t in her twenties. Life looked different at that age. At her age she should know better than to believe things would fall into place so conveniently just because she wanted them to.

Fern knocked on the open study door, then stepped inside. “Were you talking to Justin?”

“Yes.”

“I thought so. I couldn’t hear what you were saying, but I could tell by your tone of voice.”

Cora looked up, surprised. “How is it different?”

“It’s just obvious when you’re talking to your darling son. Not that I mind. I’m not jealous or anything.”

Taken aback, Cora said, “I should hope not, because I love you both equally. You must know that.”

Fern flopped into the recliner where her father had often read stories to her and Justin, one sitting on each knee, Cora remembered. Fern shrugged. “I just came in to say that I’m leaving now, and...there’s something else.” She moistened her lips. “You’ll be pleased to know that Russell and I have broken up.”

“Oh, Fern! Are you all right about that?”

“Yeah. Well, I was the one who ended it.”

Cora fought her curiosity, and lost. “Why did you do that?”

Fern gave her a puh-lease look. “You know why. He’s too old for me. Huh, he bought some yellow trousers.” She rolled her eyes.

Cora bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself smiling. “He didn’t. Did he?”

“With checks. Can you imagine that?”

“Like Rupert the Bear.”

“Who?”

Cora  waved the question away. “Before your time. I’m showing my age.”

“Right. He said they were only for playing golf in, but he was still wearing them one day when he picked me up for lunch.” She grimaced. “My uni friends saw him in them. I’ve never been so embarrassed.”

Cora struggled not to laugh. “That’s one of the three classic signs of a mid-life crisis, you know. Seriously, it’s been studied. Wearing yellow pants is one. Buying a sports car is another,” she said, counting on her fingers. “And dating a child is the third. So, there you go. He satisfies all three criteria. He’s having a mid-life crisis, and believe me, you’re better off out of there.”

Fern looked at her. “Does this mean you don’t want to throw me out now?”

“I never wanted to, honey. I just couldn’t stand that man coming here. I hated seeing you with him. Honestly, if I thought Russell would make you happy, I wouldn’t have a problem with the age difference.”

“Really? I thought you had a huge problem with it.”

“I did at first, I admit. Now, though, I don’t think age makes a difference to how happy people are in a relationship, it’s who they are that matters. And Russell…I’m sorry, but he just wasn’t right for you. Even if he’d been in his twenties I wouldn’t have liked him.”

 “I know.” Fern chewed her bottom lip. “Talking of age differences, what’s happening with what’s-his-name — your boyfriend?”

“Alex. You know that’s his name.”

“Whatevs.”

Cora winced at the expression, then hesitated before saying, “Nothing’s happening.”

“What, have you broken up as well?”

“Not exactly. We haven’t made a decision to break up, but I think it’s inevitable. I don’t see how it can work.”

“Oh. That’s a pity.”

Cora’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“I said, that’s a pity. I know I told you I didn’t like it, but I’ve been thinking, and I suppose you’re not all that old at forty-two.”

“They do say that fifty is the new thirty.”

“Yeah, old people do. Anyway, you’re probably lonely when I’m not here. I get that now.”

“I don’t mind being alone, but lonely is something else. I didn’t realise I was lonely until I met Alex.”

“So, why can’t it work?”

Cora took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Because of complications.”

“Like, me?”

“Even more complicated than you,” she said with a wry smile. “Alex has a daughter too.”

Fern sat up straighter. “I didn’t know that. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There was never really an opportunity. You weren’t interested in hearing anything about Alex at all.”

“But I should have been told about a potential sister. Are we about the same size? Will we be able to swap clothes?”

Cora shook her head. “For a start, talking about sisters is getting way ahead of where things are, and besides, Sophie is only four.”

Fern blinked, then she tilted her head. “Actually, that could be even better. Having a little sister would be awesome. I could babysit.”

“You? Babysit?”

“Don’t say it like that. I’m studying nursing, you know. I’m not a moron.”

“Of course you’re not. I never thought you were a moron.”

“In fact, I’m thinking of becoming a midwife.”

“Really? That’s wonderful news. I’m so proud of you, honey.”

“I’m not sure yet, though. I might prefer paediatric nursing.”

Cora nodded. “Well, that’s a wonderful thing to do too. You have plenty of time to make up your mind.”

“And looking after my new little sister will help me do that.”

“Hmm. Well, anyway, there are other problems, such as Alex living in Sydney and me living here.”

“You can work that out, can’t you? You should be able to, you’ve been managing a business for years.” Fern checked her watch. “I’d better go. I’m meeting some of the girls for dinner.”

“Have a good time.” Cora got up to give Fern a hug. “I love you, and I’m pleased that we had this chat.”

“Me too.”

She waved as Fern drove away, grinning at a mental picture of Russell in his yellow trousers.

Chapter 13  

Cora had spent Saturday going over some project reports in her study when the doorbell rang. She wasn’t expecting anyone, and rose from her desk reluctantly. She was still puzzling over an issue with a client’s demands when she opened the front door.

“Alex!”

He gave her a smile that made her insides turn to liquid. He did it to her every single time. “Hello, Cora.”

“I wasn’t expecting you.”

“No. My turn to do the surprise thing. We do seem to be taking it in turns, don’t we?”

“Well, you’d better come in.” Once she’d closed the door behind him, she led the way to the kitchen. “Tea? Coffee? Cold drink?”

“No, thanks. I don’t want anything. I just want to talk to you.”

She poured herself a glass of chilled water, then turned to face him, gripping the glass in a hand that was visibly trembling. “Do you want to sit down?”

He shook his head.

She leaned back against the kitchen bench. “What did you want to say?”

“That you’ve had enough time to think. I’m tired of waiting.”

“Impatient, aren’t you?”

He shrugged. “It’s been three weeks.”

As if she didn’t know that. “Still, three weeks in the scheme of things—”

“Cora, I need to know. Was it Sophie? Because things were going really well until she arrived.  I know she was quiet, but she’s timid with strangers. It’s not that she didn’t like you, I swear. She’s a good kid, and she opens up when she gets to know people.” He paused. “Don’t you think you could grow to like her?”

“She’s a sweetheart, Alex. Of course, I could like her. I do like her.”

He blew out a breath.

“I don’t know how you could think otherwise.” She shook her head. “Anyway, that’s not the issue.”

“Well, that’s something. But clearly there’s still an issue, and I need to know what it is.” He pulled out a chair from the kitchen table. “I’ve changed my mind, I will sit down.”

She slipped into a seat across the table from him. “Okay, I admit that Sophie is part of the problem, but it’s not because I don’t like her. I can’t believe you even thought that.”

“Well, like I said, we were having a ball till she arrived, then you upped and left.” He frowned. “So, she’s part of the problem. What does that mean?”

“It means, you need to live near her so that you can see her as often as possible, so you need to live in Sydney. There’s your job too. I can’t ask you to leave any of that and come and live here. And I wouldn’t.”

He looked surprised. “Right.”

She went on, “But I can’t move to Sydney. If it was possible to sell Selwoods, then maybe I could, but it’s impossible—”

“Sell Selwoods? You mean, you’ve considered it?”

“Yes. I spoke to my son, because I thought he might want to take a different direction in life, and if so, there would have been no need to keep it in the family, but it turns out that he does want to take over one day, and so...” She shrugged. “What are you grinning at? I’m not going to sell it. I can’t.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“What?”

“The fact that you even considered it means a lot, but I don’t want you to sell your family company. It clearly matters to you, so why should you?”

“Because the way things are, we couldn’t make a relationship work.”

“Of course we could. Granted, we couldn’t be together full-time for a while, but there’s no need to rush things, is there?”

She frowned, waiting for him to continue.

“You might have been over-thinking our situation.”

“Over-thinking it?” Mortified, she felt a flash of heat in her cheeks. Was he saying that it was only short-term for him? That she’d been wasting her time looking for solutions to the obstacles keeping them apart.

But if that was the case, why was he here? Why go to so much trouble to be with her. It didn’t make sense. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I seem to have misunderstood.”

He shook his head. “I don’t think you have, but you might be making it more complicated than it has to be. We have something special here, do you agree?”

After a pause, she nodded. “Yes.”

“So, let’s take it slowly.”

“Slowly. Does that mean non-exclusive?”

“Hell, no.” He laughed. “I have no intention of sharing you.”

“Does that go both ways? You won’t see anyone else?”

“No, I won’t. I’m not going to do anything to wreck this.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“Slowly means spending time together when we can, and not trying to live together full-time until it happens naturally.”

“You think it will happen naturally?”

“Well, you said your son wants to take over Selwoods one day, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“So, when that happens it might be a good time for you to think about moving to Sydney. We do have the rest of our lives after all. We don’t have to rush into making plans.” He reached for her hand and squeezed it with his.

“You’re not looking for a stepmother to Sophie?”

His eyes widened. “Is that what you thought? I want you to like her, and heck, I hope you’ll grow to love her, but you don’t have to be more involved with her upbringing than you want to be. I’m not looking for someone to make my life easier, if that’s what you were worried about.”

She released a long breath, tension leaving her along with it. “Maybe I was. You’re right, I have been over-thinking. It’s in my nature, I’m afraid. I’m a control freak, and I’ve been used to managing by myself since Paul died.” She turned her hand over, gripping his. “My sisters tell me I’m bossy. I’m not going to be the easiest woman to have a relationship with. Do you think you’ll be able to put up with me?”

He smiled. “I have plenty of character flaws of my own, you know.”

Flaws? Yeah, right. From where she sat, he was perfect. His face, his body, everything about him. A surge of physical memories took her breath away, and it was followed by a wave of unfamiliar emotions.

“I think your need to be in control of everything including our relationship might have something to do with fear. Since you lost your husband, it’s natural that you’d be afraid of losing anyone you got close to. It’s easier to put up roadblocks to getting close in the first place, isn’t it?”

“I thought you were a lawyer, not a psychologist.”

He grimaced. “Sorry. You can tell I’ve been giving this plenty of thought while we’ve been apart.”

“And you’ve had plenty of time to do so.”

“You said it.”

She sighed. “How long are you in town for?”

“I’ve booked a room at the Clarendon for tonight. I’m flying back to Sydney tomorrow evening.”

“Cancel the room. Stay here.”

“What about your daughter?”

“She won’t be home tonight, but it wouldn’t make any difference — we’ve come to an understanding.”

He nodded. “I’m very pleased to hear it, and I’d love to stay here, but only if you agree that we’re in this for the long-haul, and we’ll work out any logistical issues as they arise.”

She took a deep breath. “I agree. No matter what happens from now on, we’ll work it out. Together.”

He broke into a broad smile. “Finally.”

“Yes.” She smiled back at him. “Finally.”

About the Author

Claire Baxter writes contemporary romantic fiction of all lengths. Her short stories have been published in commercial women’s magazines around the world, while her novels have been translated into 20 languages, and have finalled in the Romance Writers of Australia's Romantic Book of the Year Award, the Booksellers’ Best Awards, the RT Book Reviews Reviewers’ Choice Awards, and the Cataromance Reviewers’ Choice Awards.

Before following her passion to write full-time, Claire was an award-winning corporate communications manager. Earlier, she worked as a translator and a PA.

Claire grew up in Warwickshire, England, but for more than 20 years has called Australia home. She considers herself lucky to live near one of Adelaide’s beautiful metropolitan beaches where she loves to walk and think up stories.

Website: www.clairebaxter.com / Email: claire@clairebaxter.com