Before

You

Leave

Again

A Gay Romance Short Story

By

Savannah Brooks

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, and events are either products of the author’s imagination or are used in a fictitious manner. Any and all resemblances to persons or places, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2015 by Savannah Brooks

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without prior written consent from the author, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

Other Books and Stories by Savannah

Short Story Collection

Falling for his Best Friend

Letting Him In

Never in a Million

Just One Kiss

Cross My Heart

Novelettes

Finding His Forever Guy

Snowed In

Whole Again

Novellas

Moving Forward

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Epilogue

Chapter 1

Why am I even here?

Shoving my hands in my pockets, I wander away from the blazing bonfire and throng of partying seniors. I barely make it out of the crowd when a hand slaps my shoulder and grabs hold of me.

“Dude! Where are you going?”

Even with the music thumping and the couple hundred people talking, laughing, and singing, my best friend’s voice is loud and clear. I tilt my head and shout back.

“Just taking a walk.”

“You’re missing out on all the girls, man.” Colin slings his arm around my neck and attempts to pull me back into the crowd. “Come on. Look. Kylie’s had her eye on you all night.”

“Not interested,” I say, not bothering to even look around.

There’s no point. Girls just don’t interest me and I’ve finally figured out why, though I’ve yet to admit it out loud. I’m not sure I’m ready to accept it myself. Partly because I’m still not one hundred percent sure. It’s just this feeling I have. Of course, the other part is because there’s only one guy that I have that feeling for, and he’s a long way from here. Besides, I don’t think he sees me as anything other than his little brother’s best friend.

Grabbing Colin’s hand, I remove his arm from my neck and keep walking. He grabs my elbow and tugs me back. “Hey, Isaac. You okay?” His voice is sincere.

“I’m fine.” I try to pull my arm away, but he tightens his grip.

“You sure? If you want to go—”

“No, man. Really, it’s fine. I’m fine. I just… have a headache is all. Just don’t leave without me, okay?” I force a small smile. Reality is, I’m just really fucking depressed. But I don’t want to ruin this night for him.

“Um, okay. If you’re sure. We can leave now if you want.”

I shake my head. “No. You have fun. I’ll just be down the beach a ways. Come find me when you’re ready.”

Colin releases my arm and stands there, watching me as I turn and leave the massive party behind me. The depression in my heart unfurls a little more as I pass by a couple sitting together in the sand, his arm around her back in a loving embrace while she rests her head on his shoulder.

I push down the hurt and continue on.

A couple hundred yards down the shoreline, I pause and look back. Thriving shadows and silhouettes bounce to what is now a dull roar in my ears. Thank God they don’t have the bass turned up. I always hated that.

Smoothing out the sand with my foot, I sit and watch the turbulent ocean rise and fall as the last light of the sun below the horizon fades away. Mesmerized, I lose myself in the shimmer of moonlight on the rolling waves. For a while, my mind gives in, allowing me not to think, giving me a brief moment of peace. But then, thoughts of the future begin to crowd in.

High school is done. Over.

In a couple months, I’ll leave everyone behind to pursue a degree in Vet Med. The one thing I’m still certain of at this point in my life. But Sacramento is a long way from here and I’m already feeling lonely. I’m not a social butterfly by any means. It’s just the first time in my life that I’ll be so far away from my family and the few friends I do have. I keep trying to tell myself that will be a good thing. No distractions. But I know I’ll miss them all like crazy.

It also makes me think of Christian, Colin’s older brother, who I’m sure I’m going to miss even more. That’s what hurts most of all. And he doesn’t even know it. No one knows it.

“Isaac?”

My heart jumps. A deep, familiar voice a few steps away calls my attention. A voice I haven’t heard in a few months. I cast a glance over my shoulder as Christian covers that last stretch of sand between us and plops down next to me. A little closer than I would have expected.

“Hey,” I say, but it comes out breathy. “I didn’t know you were back in town.”

“Yeah. Colin called me. Asked if I could come back a few days early. I didn’t have any plans, so I did. I saw him a minute ago. He said I’d find you somewhere out here. Everything okay?”

I puff my cheeks out and sigh. “Yeah.”

“That didn’t sound very convincing,” he chuckles. His soft laugh sets me a little more at ease but does nothing to erase the pain. I’ve missed hearing him laugh. And when he leaves again, I’m going to miss it all that much more. “Wanna talk?”

Confused, I tear my gaze from the crashing waves and look at him. When I do, I’m hit with a familiar pang in my heart. “Since when do you want to talk to me?”

“Since always. But that’s kinda hard to do when you and my brother are glued to each other every time I see you.”

There it is again. That yearning pain deep inside. That gut feeling surging through me again. I’ve had this feeling around Christian before, but this time it’s so much stronger.

I’ve always been drawn to Christian, even since I was a kid. He’s only two years older, but even so, he hung out with me and Colin a lot. And I always looked up to him. When he went away to college a couple years back, I missed him. Really, really missed him. I didn’t understand completely why. Just something about having him always around comforted me.

It was during Christian’s last visit home over spring break that something finally clicked inside me. The three of us were messing around, laughing and joking, giving Colin a hard time about some girl he liked when Christian pulled me close, his hand around my shoulder, and whispered something in my ear. I don’t even remember what it was. The only thing I remember is the way I felt in his one arm embrace. The warm tingling sensation that rippled down my spine when his lips grazed my ear. That was it. The light bulb.

“Since always? What do you mean?” I ask, trying not to choke on my words.

Christian twists his body so he’s sitting sideways, leaning on one hand half buried in the sand, and looks at me. His expression masked by shadows, I stare back, waiting for his response. He licks his lips ever so slightly and my eyes drop to his mouth, wishing I could feel those lips.

“This is what I mean,” he whispers.

As the words drop, he leans forward, pauses for half a heartbeat, and then grants my wish.

Christian touches his lips to mine and kisses me.

Chapter 2

My whole body tenses and I freeze, not knowing what to do. I’ve never kissed another guy before. My first thought is that this can’t possibly be real. Christian would never kiss me. Would he?

Christian’s lips don’t move. Neither do mine. Our mouths fused together, unmoving, remain locked in a silent exchange of love and longing. Tears prick the corners of my eyes, but I hold them back. Desperately trying to not let this moment overwhelm me. But as the seconds pass, and he doesn’t pull away, hope awakens in what’s left of my heart.

The soft press of lips against mine eases and a strong hand gently cups my cheek. I open my eyes, not remembering I’d ever closed them, and see Christian. Still in front of me. His eyes searching. A tentative smile on his face.

“Was that okay?”

My brain still trying to catch up and my heart firmly lodged in my throat, I simply nod.

“Oh, thank God,” he breathes. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that.”

“Um… I… really?” I manage a hoarse whisper.

“Yes. Really.”

“How… how did you know? I haven’t told anyone yet.”

“I took a chance, hoping I was reading you right.”

My eyes go wide. “Shit. Is it that obvious?”

Christian’s smile widens and he laughs a little. “No. It isn’t.”

I relax a little, but still unsure of where to go from here.

“So, you haven’t told my brother yet.”

“No,” I say, shaking my head.

“Well, that does present a bit of a problem?”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I really want to kiss you again.”

My breath catches. “You do?” I manage a scarce whisper.

“Yeah. I do.”

I hold his gaze, his soft voice doing funny things to my heart. This could be it. My one chance to feel him in a way I never have. To confirm what I feel in my heart. That I want more with him. But if he doesn’t. If he’s just looking for a little fun, well, that I can’t do.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Christian.”

He sits back a little. “Okay.”

The crushing disappointment in his voice tugs at my heart.

“No, wait, listen,” I add quickly, squeezing his hand without even thinking. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

He lifts his eyes back to mine, waiting for me to continue. I let go of his hand, not sure if I should tell him this or not. Averting my eyes, I look toward the surf and take a deep breath.

“Since Colin and I became friends back in second grade, I’ve always looked up to you. I loved that, even though you were older, you spent time with us. It meant a lot to me, having you always around. You were like the big brother I never had.

“All that started to change when I got to high school. The way I looked at you changed. The way I felt about you changed. I didn’t see you as a big brother any longer. You became something more. I didn’t begin to understand what I was feeling until you left to go to college. My heart broke that first day you left. I still didn’t understand why, but I knew a part of me left with you that day.

“I missed you like crazy. I couldn’t wait for you to come back home during breaks. It was all I could do not to think about you. Then, you’d come back, and I did everything possible to spend as much time with Colin as I could so I could be closer to you. Sleepovers were the best. You’d crash on the floor of his room and I would fall asleep imagining myself cuddled against you, wrapped in your arms. Then, to see you bright and early the next morning…”

Closing my eyes, I sigh as the memories warm my heart and rattle my nerves all at the same time. I’ve never been so open and honest with anyone before and I have no idea what impact this will have.

“But every time, at the end of every break when you had to leave again, you took another piece of my heart with you. It took me a little longer to realize why I missed you so much.” I pause, pulling a long draw of air into my lungs.

“Christian… somewhere along the way… I fell in love with you…”

Another pause, followed by silence. My heart hammers in my chest as a shiver cascades over my skin. Even the roar of the ocean is not enough to drown the sound of my pulse pounding in my ears. When Christian still doesn’t say anything, I begin to think I’ve made a terrible mistake.

“Sorry,” I say, barely able to speak, my throat straining. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you all that, but I needed to… before you left again. But that’s why I’m not sure I can do this with you. I’m not sure I can handle having to watch you leave again if I let you kiss me again.”

Forcing back tears, having just laid my heart and soul out bare, I push to my feet. Dusting the sand from my hands, I wander away, a little further down the vacant section of beach, just beyond the ebbing tide. I never meant to spill everything like that, but I couldn’t stop myself. It’s like my brain just turned off the filter and my heart just poured out, uncontrolled.

I just told him I was in love with him. It was probably too much, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being some summer fling, if that’s what he was looking for. So I figured I’d stop it now, before I could get hurt even more. Scare him off with that one four letter word that every guy is afraid to hear until he stumbles across that one person that means more to him than anyone.

I’ve only walked about twenty feet when a strong hand grabs hold of my arm, stopping me in my tracks. Christian moves around in front of me and without a word, kisses me again.

This time, however, his lips move and caress mine with slow, tender nips and tugs. Unable to help myself, I kiss him back. I love him and I need him and I’ve never wanted anything or anyone more. And apparently, I didn’t scare him away. Telling him I was in love with him didn’t send him running like I thought it would. Instead, he ran to me. To kiss me. To fight for me. It’s only a kiss, but in this moment, it means everything to me.

It is so much more than just a kiss.

His arms circle my waist as he pulls me closer, pressing my body to his. I gasp and he pulls his lips away, resting his forehead against mine. His ragged breaths fall across my cheeks. Our chests pressed together, I can feel his heart racing. What he says next turns my whole world upside down.

“I’m not leaving you again, Isaac,” he breathes heavily. “I love you.”

Chapter 3

I blink, not entirely sure I heard him correctly.

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me. I said I love you. And I’m not leaving you again. Especially now that I know how you feel. Come on.”

Christian links his hand with mine and tugs me back toward the bonfire. I don’t even stop to think about where we’re headed. My mind is stuck on repeat… replaying Christian’s words over and over again.

I’m not leaving you again. I love you.

We’re more than half way back when I realize the direction we’re heading. I dig my heels into the sand, jerking us both to a halt. He spins back around to face me.

“Wait. Where are we going?”

“To let my brother know I’m taking you home.”

“What? No. I told you, Colin doesn’t know.”

“I don’t know what?”

At the sound of Colin’s voice, Christian turns and steps back beside me. My eyes go wide and my stomach twists as I stare at my best friend, completely speechless. His eyes flicker down. A wry grin teases the corners of his mouth as he brings his eyes back to mine. I don’t realize why he’s looking at me like that until I feel Christian squeeze my hand.

Shit.

There’s no way to get out of this one. I close my eyes, searching for the right words. An apology? An explanation? A declaration? Fuck, I don’t know what to say.

“It’s about fucking time,” Colin blurts out.

My eyes fly open. My jaw hits the ground as I stare at him, dumbstruck.

“Dude, don’t look so surprised. I figured it out a long time ago.”

“Um… what?” I shake my head a little, trying to recover from Colin’s unexpected reaction. “You did?”

“You’re my best friend. We grew up together. We’re practically family. How could you think I wouldn’t notice?”

“But, you were always trying to hook me up with girls. Even tonight.”

Colin shrugs his shoulders, cocking his head a little to one side. “I didn’t want you to think I’d figured it out until you were ready to tell me, so I played along.”

“So, you’re not mad?”

“Are you kidding? Of course not. I hope you don’t mind that I called my brother though. You might never have told me, but I always knew how much you missed him when he was gone. He wasn’t supposed to come home until next week, but I called and asked if he could come back early.” Colin steps over to Christian and gives him a quick hug, slapping his brother on the back. “Glad you were able to make it, bro. Maybe you can cheer this guy up. He’s been a bump on a log for weeks now.”

Colin laughs, but I can’t help the surprise and confusion still muddling my brain.

“Wait. You asked him to come home early because of me?”

“Yeah. I thought you’d like to see him.”

I turn toward Christian. “And you came? Just like that? Because he asked you to?”

“No,” Christian answers, his voice soft and caring. “I came, just like that, because I wanted to see you. I missed you too.”

“Look, I’m going back to the party,” Colin interjects. “You two get out of here and I’ll catch up with you tomorrow, okay?” Colin spins around, takes two steps, and then spins back while walking backwards. He gestures at me with both index fingers and winks, still grinning. “Oh, and you’re welcome, by the way. Who knows… maybe we’ll end up being brothers someday after all.”

Still taken aback, I watch as Colin disappears into the crowd, slowly coming to terms with the events that just took place. In the span of a couple hours, I went from moping, miserable, and alone to coming out and professing my love for the guy who turns out, loves me back.

“Your brother’s crazy,” I say with a small laugh, attempting to keep my emotions from overtaking me. Inside, I’m a complete and utter mess and could break down crying at any moment.

“Yeah, he is,” Christian snorts. “I mean, getting married? We’ve barely kissed.”

“Yeah,” I mutter as the prospect of a lifetime with Christian rolls around in my mind.

I’ve known him for years and loved him for almost just as long. I imagine what my life would be like if we actually did get married someday… get a dog, maybe two… have kids… grow old… side-by-side and together for the rest of our lives.

Christian hooks his arm around my back and pulls me against him. Eyes closed, he rubs his nose alongside mine, our foreheads touching. My breathing hitches.

“One of these days, though, it will happen,” he whispers. “I’ll put a ring on your finger and make you mine for the rest of my life.”

Christian slants his mouth over mine and captures me in another kiss. A heart-melting, soul-penetrating kiss that consumes every piece of me. This time, I really kiss him back, to show him how much I love him. The fervent, unhurried way he nips and sucks, worshipping my lips, exploring my mouth with his tongue, leaves me breathless and wanting. He tries to pull back, but I don’t let him. I’ve waited so long to kiss him and now, I don’t want to stop.

“Isaac,” he mumbles between kisses. Christian brings his hands up to my face, but I still don’t stop. He chuckles quietly. “Isaac.” With a little more force, he eases back and I finally let him, looking into his eyes. His eyes sparkle in the moonlight and the smile he gives me warms all the pieces of my heart.

“Let’s go home.”

Epilogue

Eight weeks later…

My phone vibrates, then starts to ring, jarring me from sleep. I blindly reach for it, feeling around on the nightstand. Grabbing it, I look at who’s calling and the time. It’s my mom. At eight o’clock in the morning. So much for sleeping in today.

“Hi, Mom,” I answer, glancing to my side. Blinking my eyes, still trying to wake up, I push up on my elbow and check the bed again, then the rest of the room. Christian seems to have fled the bedroom already. Odd. He’s not usually up this early.

“Hi, sweetheart. Did I wake you?”

“Um, yeah, you kinda did,” I yawn, rubbing my fingers over my eyes and lying back down. I sink into my pillow again, letting my eyes drift shut. “What’s up?”

“Well, your dad and I are on our way over to see your grandma, so I thought I’d call and check in on you boys. How are things going?”

“Everything’s fine, Mom.”

“And how are things between you and Christian?”

Hearing her ask me that question makes me smile. Shortly after Christian and I confessed our love for each other, I came out to my parents. Christian was with me the entire time. Before I even said the words, I remember reaching over and clasping Christian’s hand in mine. The smile I saw on my mom’s face at the moment was beyond what I could have hoped for. I think I loved my parents even more after that day.

“Perfect,” I reply.

“You sound happy, Isaac. I’m glad you boys are doing this. I’m glad he’s there with you.”

“Me too, Mom. And I am happy. More than you know.”

“I’m so happy for you, sweetheart. Now, don’t forget, your dad and I will be driving up next week to visit before you start classes.”

“I know. I won’t forget.” Movement in my peripheral vision grabs my attention. I tilt my head and see Christian leaning against the door jamb, wearing nothing but a pair of low slung pajama pants. His arms crossed over his chest, his hair still messed up from sleep, he just stands there, watching me. A sexy smile playing on his lips.

“Listen, Mom. I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you next week. Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

I set my phone on the bedside table as Christian crosses the bedroom toward me. My eyes rove over his toned body. The body that was wrapped around me last night and every night since we moved in together.

“How am I supposed to roll over and kiss you when I wake up when you aren’t here?”

Christian tosses the covers aside and climbs over me, straddling my thighs. He bends down and kisses me. A slow, sweet kiss. He licks along my lips and I open more for him. The tantalizing way he slides his tongue along mine with languid strokes… the way his lips caress mine so lovingly… the gentle scrape of his scruff against my lips and skin…

He pulls away and I whimper, lifting my head in an attempt to follow him. Christian grins. He knows what his kisses do to me.

“It’s official,” he says as he grinds himself against me, knowing I’m already rock hard.

I thrust up against him, needing the friction, the contact. “Stop teasing me,” I growl. “What’s official?”

“My transfer confirmation came through today. And I thought you liked it when I did this?”

“So you’re officially stuck here with me. And I do like it, but I want more.”

“Yes, and you’re stuck with me.” Christian pushes his pants down and lies on top of me. Skin to skin, his body pressed to mine, pinning me to the bed. He presses a tender kiss to my lips. “And don’t worry. You’re about to get more.”

“Good.”

“Good, huh?”

“Yes. Good. Good because I wasn’t prepared to let you go. And good, because you feel so good and I always want more of you.”

“I told you, I’m not leaving you behind ever again.”

Christian’s eyes shimmer as he holds my gaze, searching. There’s so much affection there. So much passion and desire. Devotion. Every time he looks at me, since we first kissed that night on the beach, I never feel anything less. Never see anything less in his eyes.

That love. It’s all for me. And I plan to treasure it for the rest of our lives.

*** The End ***

A NOTE FROM SAVANNAH

You may have noticed as you read this story, that there are no specific physical descriptions of people or their surroundings. I did this purposely so that you, as the reader, were free to indulge your own imagination and see the characters and settings as you would see them. I hope this added to your enjoyment of this short, romantic story and welcome you back for more.

Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed Before You Leave Again, please check out more of Savannah’s gay romance short stories, also available on Amazon.

Just One Kiss

Noah’s best friend, Cole, is gay, and Noah’s never had a problem with that. But when Cole asks Noah to show him what it’s like to kiss another guy, Noah reluctantly gives in, convincing himself he’s doing this solely to help Cole out.

When the kiss turns into more than Noah bargained for, he panics and shuts Cole out, unable to face him. He doesn’t want to lose his best friend, but there’s no denying what he felt.

It was just one kiss, but is it possible it could lead to something more?

Cross My Heart

Isaiah never meant to fall in love with his roommate. In fact, he tried really hard not to, because he was dead certain that Carter would never love him back. Not the way he wanted, anyway.

Carter’s been walking around with a secret for a few weeks now. He’s in love with Isaiah. But when he finally begins to confess his feelings, Isaiah doesn’t believe him.

Isaiah thinks he’s joking around.

Carter, for once, is completely serious…

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Savannah Brooks is the pen name of a thirty-something-year-old woman, wife, and mother, who writes romance of all kinds, from sweet to steamy to erotic, and all things in between. Stories range from short reads that get your heart pumping on lunch breaks to full-length novels that will hopefully keep you turning pages until the very end.

There is something beautiful about romance and love in all its forms and Savannah longs to show this through her writing. No lines are drawn here. It's all about love. No matter who you are or where you're from, love touches everyone.

"We don't choose who we fall in love with." – Savannah