BUTTERSCOTCH             

AN EXTREME HORROR NOVELLA

ASIA BRITO GUERRERO

Copyright © 2024 ASIA BRITO

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 9798871657713

Imprint: Independently published

WARNING

This book contains blood, violence, shit, incest, assault, creepy crawlies, and a very graphic birth scene.

This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and events are

products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons living (or dead) is entirely coincidental.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the author of this book.

1

Xia’s dark brown eyes cracked open slightly before her eyelids spread wide. Water dripped heavily from her thick eyelashes as she gasped and rapidly inhaled air into her aching lungs. She coughed violently until her body spasmed and her head felt as if it was going to split in half. She swore she felt a set of hands inside her head, gripping each side of her pulsating brain, ripping it to pieces.

After a few minutes, the pain simmered down to a tolerable ache. With one wrinkly hand held to her chest, she felt her racing heart settle itself down. As her coughing lessened and her breathing normalized, her stinging, bloodshot eyes roamed. Her attention wandered to everything around her.

She was lying at the edge of a lake where little pebbles littered the shore. Lifting her eyes upward and observing more of her unfamiliar surroundings, she was encircled entirely by trees. She looked higher to where the tops of the trees met the sky and found only a bright blue canvas with moving clouds and birds flying by without so much as a glance in her direction.

Scanning for anything that might give her a sense of which direction she needed to go, she stopped suddenly and squinted. She couldn’t tell for certain if she was looking at smoke coming from nearby, or if her eyes were playing a cruel prank on her. She rubbed them with the back of her hand to try and get a better view. As she brought her hand away from her face, she noticed healing rope burns around her wrists. It didn’t hurt much to touch them, but she winced reflexively when her fingertips grazed the wounds. Her ankles were just the same and with every little turn of her head, she knew her throat matched. Wherever she had been before, she clearly was not meant to escape.

She felt up and down the rest of her body for injuries. She had a gash on the right side of her head which entangled her wet hair in blood. That explained the god-awful throbbing in her skull she woke with. She was also covered in bruises on every visible surface of skin, and she would bet she was covered in all the spots that weren’t visible, as well. The biggest one covered her abdomen. Parts of it were red, but the redness was fading to a deep purple and dark blue, and it was tender as hell. She tried not to imagine what could have done this to her. It would only lead to her panicking and that wouldn’t help any.

Pulling her shirt back down, covering the contusion on her stomach, she stared at her clothes and felt sick. She wore only a dishwater colored tank top with matching undies. She wasn’t even confident they could be labeled as clothes; they were nothing more than dirty rags. Both had holes throughout and were covered in deep red stains. A metallic smell filled her nose, and she held back the urge to vomit.

Fighting against the burning sensation in her throat, she tried to take in all the sights, sounds, and smells around, but her focus kept coming directly back to herself. There was one realization she was desperately trying to avoid thinking about that sent a chill through her beaten body more than the frigid lake water ever could: she had no idea how she ended up there. And not just that, she had no memory of anything before the moment she awoke gasping for air. The name Xia echoed through her mind, and it felt like it belonged to her, but even then, her empty head wrapped it in doubt.

Knowing she couldn’t remain where she was and expect help to come, if anyone was even looking for her to begin with, she decided her best bet for survival was heading towards the smoke. Full of naivety, she convinced herself that whatever happened was an accident and eager help would be granted to her by whomever she met at the base of the smoke.

She stood, and her bare feet sank into the shore. Pebbles pushed into her soles and mud squished between her toes. It took all her strength to trudge through it. She went slowly, unsure if she would have the physical ability and mental power to get back up if she fell. It took her longer than she cared for before she reached the border where unsteady land met more solid ground and her feet no longer achingly stepped over rocks and mashed through wet earth.

She leaned against the first tree she came to, a black and cinnamon-colored towering mass covered in dark green pine needle tufts. Shutting her eyes, attempting to keep herself from going unconscious again, she leaned in closer to the trunk of the tree and inhaled the soft, sweet scent of what smelled like butterscotch candies.

Memory is such a strange thing. She couldn’t remember yesterday, but she could remember a time when she ate butterscotch candies.

Once her moment of rest restored a bit of her energy, she opened her eyes again. It was getting darker with each passing minute and the last thing she wanted was to be lost outside in an unknown place. Even worse, as an unknown person to herself.

Checking for the smoke, it didn’t seem too far off compared to the first time she noticed it. But at her pace, she wouldn’t reach it before daylight ran out unless she remained consistent in her strides forward. Breaking off a thick piece of bark, she bit down and pushed herself away from the tree. Breathing through the pain and discomfort, she led herself in the direction of the steadily rising smoke.

She wasn’t entirely certain how much time had passed and was about ready to give up and admit defeat for the night, when a clearing opened up before her and a cabin appeared. It was a decent size, but majorly run down. It looked like it was hand-built years ago and left for the forest to begin its reclamation. The smoke pouring from a spout on top of the roof, the smoke she followed, proved someone, or someones, currently called it home. She sighed in happy relief and stepped towards the moss-covered log house.

As she approached the door, hesitation birthed inside her belly and, for a moment, something screamed at her to turn around. But she knew of nowhere else to go and being consumed by the darkness once the sun went down terrified her enough to snuff out the hesitation before it grew.

Readying herself to take the narrow steps that would carry her to the front door, it flew open suddenly and a mammoth of a woman stepped out. Her wiry, graying-brown hair was positioned high on top of her head in a bun. Her dark, piercing eyes disbelievingly took in the sight of the mangled, young woman standing before her.

“Please,” Xia pleaded, her hand resting against one of the porch posts, holding her body up, “I need help.”

The older woman blinked and gave her large head a questioning shake as she wiped her hands on her floral nightgown. “Oh, my dear, where in the world did you come from? What happened to you?” She reached an arm out for Xia to grab onto and pulled her up the steps with enormous force.

“I woke up on the edge of a lake a little ways that way.” Xia gestured behind her. “But that’s all I can remember. I... I can’t remember anything before that.”

The gargantuan woman stared down at her, “You mean, you don’t remember anything? Nothin’ at all?” 

Xia bit her lip self-consciously and shook her head.

“I see. Well, let’s get you inside and cleaned up, dear. No offense, but you look like absolute hell.”

The woman helped her cross the threshold into the dilapidated cabin, mostly carrying her. It didn’t take long for Xia’s eyes to adjust to the dim lighting inside. They stood in one big, open room with a large bed in the corner to her left. Feathers poked out randomly from the sides of the worn-out mattress. An extremely tattered loveseat not too far from it, a window in between the two. On the right side of the house was a kitchen with a table and three chairs, the fourth was broken and in a pile off to the side. Against the wall opposite the bed and couch, beneath another window, was a sink that was nothing more than a basin with a drain, a stone oven with a flat top stove and a few shelves sat above another table which was used as a countertop. The smoke that had led Xia there was from a fire in the oven that filtered up and out through the funnel protruding from the roof. At the very back of the cabin was a short hallway with a circular window up high. Two closed doors faced each other, and something about one of the doors nagged at the back of her mind and sent a shiver down her spine.

“You sit here.” Her host’s raspy voice broke through her observation and brought her attention back to the woman pointing one of her thick fingers towards the dingy loveseat.

“I shouldn’t. I’m wet and filthy,” Xia responded.

“Nonsense. You will sit here while I get you somethin’ dry and clean. Now, sit.” The woman commanded harshly.

She watched Xia lower herself down and waited for her bottom to hit the cushion before she carried herself over to the bed a few feet away and pulled out a peeling, dark brown leather chest from underneath. When she opened it, Xia could see piles of folded clothing shoved inside. The woman rummaged through while doing her best to not disturb everything. When she came back to Xia, she held up an off-white, obviously hand sewn nightgown.

“Would you like help getting those old garments off of you? I imagine you’re stiff and sore, but I also understand if that would make you feel uncomfortable. You don’t know me from Adam.” The woman fastened her hands together in front of her while Xia thought silently before she finally gave a nod accepting the help being offered.

Xia winced as she lifted her shaking arms above her head so the woman could remove the dirty shirt from her grimy body. It stuck to her skin as it was pulled off her.

“We should really wipe you down before we put anything fresh on you.” The woman leaned down and dipped a stained cloth into a bucket that was already full of steaming, hot water. “I was preparin’ for my own bath, you see, when I noticed you outside the window.” Noticing the drapes were still open, the woman walked over and pulled them shut.

“Lucky timing for me.” Xia tried to smile, but it was lost before it was formed. “I’m sorry that I’m keeping you from that.”

The woman waved away her apology and wrung out the cloth before rubbing it up and down Xia’s arms and torso. She cleaned Xia as much as possible, though the marks and bruises remained. Xia noticed the harsh bruising that covered her abdomen in blues and reds no more than an hour ago was turning yellow and purple. She wasn’t too knowledgeable when it came to bruising, but she didn’t think they could heal that quickly.

“Okay, dear, let’s stand. I’ll remove those soiled panties from you and give you a towel so you can clean your bottom and such yourself. Think ya can do that?”

Xia stood slowly, every joint and muscle aching, but not as badly as before. Still, she stifled a groan. “Yes, thank you.”

The woman slid Xia’s wet underwear down to her ankles and helped hold her steady as she lifted one foot up and out at a time.

Xia took the warm cloth and gently ran it over the skin around her hips and butt. It felt glorious to remove all the gross caked-on filth covering her. She handed the cloth back to the woman, who dipped it back into the water before returning it to Xia. She wiped down the lower part of her stomach, below her belly button, and doing the best she could, the space between her legs. As she tried to reach down farther to get her thighs, she grimaced as a stabbing pain pierced her lower back. A grunt of pain escaped her clenched lips.

“I got your legs; don’t you worry about them. Sit back down and we will be finished in no time.” The woman reassured her.

Xia sat back down. She didn’t feel much stronger, but she did notice that it felt easier than the first time she sat down. Guilt and shame consumed her for having her naked vulva and bare ass on a stranger’s furniture, but she couldn’t think of anything she could do. At this point, her options were limited.

Once the woman finished, she stood up and grabbed the nightgown that she had pulled from the trunk for Xia. She held it up and smiled, proudly. “Made this myself, I’m sure you know. It’s your size, so I imagine it’ll fit just fine.” The woman looked like she was pretending to compare the size of the dress to the size of Xia’s body. “Alright, let’s get those hands of yours up in the air one more time and I’ll slip this over and around you.”

Xia raised her arms a second time and they ached a little less. She pushed away the feeling that something was strange. She didn’t think she should be healing and feeling less pain this quickly. She was grateful, but she couldn’t deny it was suspicious. She pushed each of her hands through the arm holes and popped her head out of the top. The material of the dress was much softer than it looked.

“Aw, there. See? Perfect fit. I’m sure you feel much better now.” 

“I do. Thank you.” Xia spoke as genuinely as she could. Being cleaner and wearing something dry did, indeed, make her feel better, even if just a bit.

The woman waved away her appreciation almost as quickly as she had her previous apology. “No thanks needed.” She smiled, showing her dull yellow teeth, one on the bottom missing. “Name is Marjorie. Most people just call me Madgey though.”

“I’m…” Xia paused, biting her lip. “I’m Xia.”

Madgey gave her a quizzical look. “You don’t sound so sure about that.”

“I’m honestly not too sure. Not exactly. The name Xia keeps playing over and over in my head like a record, and it feels right, but that’s all I can really say. I can’t remember what happened before I woke up. I can’t remember much about anything at all.”

“Oh, dear. You really can’t, can you? Now that is somethin’, ain’t it?” Madgey clasped her hands together in front of her again, a sour, yet satisfied look plastered on her face.  

2

A thundering knock banged on the door causing the two to jump. It came again and Xia expected the heavy fist on the other side to crack the wooden door in half and whoever was attached to it to come barging in.

The door handle rattled violently, and a low, rumbling voice shouted, “Madgey! You open this damn door right god damn now before I break it in!”  

Bang. Bang. Bang!

Madgey grabbed hold of Xia’s upper arm, squeezing it tightly and forcing her to her feet. Even fully standing, Xia felt microscopic next to her. Madgey looked down at Xia and raised an index finger to her pursed lips, a warning she shouldn’t dare make a sound.

“Hold your damn horses, Ronnie! I’m gettin’ dressed! I was ‘bout ready to have a bath!” she shouted back and whispered, “You son of a bitch,” under her breath.

“Well hurry the hell up! We need to talk.” He stepped away from the door and began to pace back and forth, impatiently waiting.

Still holding a tight grip on Xia’s arm, Madgey practically dragged her to the back of the cabin and down the small hallway. She took a key from a pocket in her nightgown and unlocked the door on the same side of the house as the living area. The door creaked open and revealed a set of stairs which led down to a pitch-black underground space.

Why was Madgey showing her their basement? There was no way she was expecting Xia to go down there.

“Just hide down there for a minute until I can get him out of the house again. You don’t wanna be around when Ronnie is here, believe me.” Madgey said as she shoved Xia through the crumbling door frame and slammed it shut.

The sound of the key in the lock made her breath catch in her chest. She raised her hand and fiercely jiggled the rusty handle. It was locked. Xia couldn’t see anything around her except the faint light coming from beneath the bottom of the wooden door. Xia tried to reason with herself why Madgey would even consider locking her in. Maybe she didn’t want Ronnie accidentally stumbling in and finding her. Maybe she wasn’t meant to have company while he was out and if he found her, she would get in trouble. Madgey insinuated he wasn’t the nicest of people and maybe she was doing what she thought was best. But Xia didn’t believe that for long and her heart began to race like it had when she woke up near the lake.

“Madgey?” she tried to whisper quietly through the door. She desperately hoped she was locked in the black dungeon for her own safety. When Madgey didn’t answer her, she went to say her name again, but her voice froze at the sound of another person speaking. It was the booming voice of the man who tried to break down the door and charge his way inside moments before.

Ronnie.  

“Why in the hell did you lock the damn door?” he demanded.

“So you could see me naked and call me a fat ass like you always do? No, thank you,” Madgey huffed, annoyed.

“Well, I wouldn’t call you a fat ass if you weren’t such a fat ass now, would I?” Ronnie chuckled grossly.

Xia heard the sound of a slap and then, instantly after, Madgey crying that she was sorry. A rougher sound came next. It sounded like someone had been thrown into the wall and fallen down to the floor with a loud thump.

Ronnie’s anger roared throughout the house. “Don’t you ever put your hands on me again, bitch! You understand me?”

“Y…yes. Of course, Ronnie. I’m s…sorry.” Madgey cried.

Xia couldn't imagine the kind of man who could intimidate a woman of Madgey's size. Though she wasn't sure why, the sound of Madgey weeping panged her heart.

“I’ll bury you six feet under if you ever pull some shit like that again! Hear me?!”

A series of loud crashes and bangs came mixed in with every cuss word ever thought up, and Xia could only assume that in his rage, Ronnie was throwing anything in sight the same way she imagined he had thrown Madgey.

The fighting and throwing ended, but in the almost-silence, she could hear low sobs coming from the large woman and Ronnie say, “I just came by to let you know that we lost her body in the water. If you see her again, don’t let her get away or so help me God, Madgey, you’ll get the same shit comin’ to you.” He slammed the door shut on his way out, causing the basement door and all the bones in Xia’s body to shake.  

3

Xia sat on the top step and waited, her ears perked to pick up any sounds in the house. Everything was silent and she thought maybe Madgey was too hurt from what Ronnie did to her to get back up and make her way over to let her out. She considered calling out to Madgey again since Ronnie left, but before she could, she heard a groan, a chair scraping against the wood flooring, and then a shuffling of Madgey’s mighty, slippered feet.

“Madgey? Are you okay? Please open the door. I’m ready to come out now.” Xia tried to keep her voice from breaking, but her nerves were so great she could barely stand it.

“I can’t. Please believe me that I can’t and I’m doing this for your own good. He will be back tonight sometime for dinner, and he can’t see you. He’s a real asshole, that one, and well, I’m afraid Dicky ain’t much better. And Dicky will sure as hell be with him when he gets back. If they see you here, they’ll hurt you like everything else they come across.” There was a bitterness in Madgey’s voice with that last statement.

Xia was having a difficult time trying to understand why these people would want to hurt her. She couldn’t wrap her head around anyone having a reason to hurt her. But having been beaten so severely and waking up half-naked at the edge of a lake reminded her someone already had. She couldn’t remember a damn thing about who that someone might be, she was starting to get a good idea and knowing she was stuck where she was, panic threatened to consume her.

“Madgey, please, I am begging you. I can’t stay down here. I just can’t. You can understand that, right? If you let me out now, I will leave right away, long before they get back. They won’t even know that I was here. Please let me out.”

“Absolutely not. You’re in no condition to be hiking through these woods, especially at night. We ain’t too far from town, though we’re so well hidden most folks don’t even know we’re here half the time, but we’re far enough that you’ll wind up worse before you even make it. And well, if you think it’s dark down there right now, you’ll never make it to mornin’ in the dark out in them trees. No, you just need to stay put for now.” Madgey clicked her tongue.

“I can’t stay down here, Madgey. I can’t see anything! And I need to use the bathroom soon or I’m gonna end up peein’ all over myself. At least let me go to the bathroom, please.” Tears filled Xia’s eyes and would have blurred her vision if it wasn’t so dark around her.

“Hush, you ain’t gonna piss yourself. Feel on the wall to the left of the door, your left. There should be a flashlight hangin’ on a screw. You’ll be able to see just fine with that. But don’t be stupid and wave it around the door lettin’ it shine through, or I warn ya, Ronnie and Dicky will tear both of us apart if they know I’ve put you down there.”

Xia felt around on the wall until her fingers touched something solid. It was the flashlight. She grabbed it and wrapped her hand around the short, plastic handle, its cord dangling down and bouncing against her wrist. Locating and pushing the ‘on’ button at the very bottom, a surprisingly bright light streamed out the other end, momentarily blinding her.

“I got it,” she told Madgey and swung the beam back and forth from her position on the top step. All she could see were the walls, the door, and the stairs. Anything farther down was pitch-black. Even the brilliant illumination from the plastic friend in her hand couldn’t penetrate the black hole beneath her.

“Good girl,” Madgey said, her voice more cheerful since Ronnie wasn’t nearby. “Now head down those stairs. Be careful, there’s a nail or two stickin’ out of a few of them. Once you get down there, in the far corner across from the bottom step, you’ll see a bucket. I know, I know, sounds awful, but you can relieve yourself in that just fine. There’s also a bed you can lay on. I can imagine you’re tired and who could blame ya?” Madgey stopped talking and Xia hoped she was preparing to just say she was joking and would obviously let her out immediately. But instead, Madgey cleared her throat and said, “When you hear Ronnie and Dicky come back later, just keep still and quiet down there. They never go down into the basement unless… Well, let’s just say they don’t have any reason to go down there right now, so they won’t accidentally find you if you don’t give them a reason to look.”

“I’ll be quiet. But Madgey, how long will I have to be down here?”

“Well, once they get back for dinner, they won’t be leaving anymore tonight. Once the two of ‘em leave again tomorrow morning, I’ll bring you right back up here and cook ya somethin’ nice to eat. How’s that sound?”

Xia hadn’t thought of food at all that entire time but at the mention of it, her stomach rumbled, and she was curious when she ate last. She wondered if she would be able to hold out until morning but knew she didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. “Okay,” Xia whispered softly, defeated, unsure if Madgey had been able to hear her or not.

“Well, go on down then. Don’t want to piss yourself, remember? I’m gonna finally wash my own self up like I was hopin’ to do.” Madgey jiggled the handle to double check it was locked before her slippered feet could be heard shuffling away again.  

4

Riddled with anxiety, her belly felt like it was full of bugs, but instead of the nervous fluttering of butterfly wings, it was more like a horrifying feeling of centipedes clawing their way through her stomach, pinching through muscle and skin without any regard for how it felt for her. Xia swallowed the lump forming in her throat and took three deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth. The centipedes took the hint and gave her a bit of a break, calming their ruination down slightly.

Directing the beam of the flashlight down to point to the bottom of the stairs, she could only see a few at a time before they were eaten by darkness. If she wanted to see anything more, she would have to go down. The wood planks were aged and worn. She wasn’t too sure how trustworthy they would be, but figured if they could hold the weight of the people who built them, they should bear hers with little to no trouble.

Hesitantly, before her mind could convince her otherwise, she carefully began the journey to the bottom. Pieces of wood poked into the soles of her feet with each step, but she was too worried about her situation to fret about a few splinters. Then, remembering what Madgey had said about rogue nails jutting out of some steps, she waved the light back and forth on each plank before she actually took the step. She found two nails and was relieved she remembered in enough time to keep an eye out. She stepped around them and continued.

Xia counted 13 steps on her descent. The ceiling was very low in the basement. She could easily graze it with her fingertips and, at most, she was only 5 feet and a few inches. The floor wasn’t what she expected either. It wasn’t wood like in the house, or even any kind of cement. It was just plain dirt. Dust rose and swirled in the air with any little movement she made, even if she took the time to lift her feet when she walked.

She couldn’t remember any basements she had been in before, but this one made her believe it was self-dug, and poorly self-dug at that.

Taking a wider look around, the flashlight illuminating only one spot at a time, the beam finally came upon the bucket in the corner Madgey mentioned she could use to relieve herself. Her weak legs carried her as quickly as they could over to it. She laid the flashlight down on the ground, still on, a small tuft of dust dancing in its glow. With shaky hands, she pulled up the hem of the nightgown and plopped her butt down before a heavy stream of urine flowed from her. She sighed at the sensation and for a moment had the desire to cry, but that moment was swept away fast when she noticed how loudly the sound of her going echoed within the confines of the bucket. She hoped it wasn’t as loud as she thought and that only she could hear it, because God forbid she have to go again while Ronnie and Dicky were upstairs.

Picking the flashlight up off the ground, she motioned it back and forth across the rest of the small space. Other than the piss bucket, which was already beginning to smell like ammonia, there wasn’t much else in the room. There was the bed Madgey said she could sleep on, although Xia wouldn’t call it much of a bed. It was nothing more than an uncovered mattress lying directly on the dirt with two bare, filthy pillows and a single stained blanket. Next to it stood the only other thing: a medium-sized crate that looked to be made of the same wood planking as the stairs. It was badly nailed together with the same rusting nails too.

Kneeling down next to the box, this time not caring whether or not her nightgown got dirty, because what a silly thing to care about anyway, she curiously gazed at the contents. There was a book full of gardening tips, a doll with matted hair and one missing eye, a comb with scattered, broken teeth, and another flashlight with extra batteries.

Someone was staying down here, she thought. She stood fast and pressure rushed to her head. Then she thought, Someone wasn’t just staying down here; no, these people were keeping someone here.

Her eyes caught a glimpse of something shiny when the light passed over the top of the crate. She reached down and grabbed empty golden wrappers. Butterscotch candies. Remembering how the smell of the bark on the tree she held onto before arriving at the cabin gave her a flash of a memory, she dropped the wrappers and fell backwards on her bottom. She was encircled in a tornado of dust and began to cough. Between the fear and the cloud of dirt, Xia’s already aching lungs turned into shallow prunes and it became harder and harder to breathe. 

How did I end up here? 

Have I been here before 

Did I unknowingly run back into the arms of those who left me for dead?

She couldn’t remember anything; her head threatened to explode from all the unanswered questions that filled it. Feeling dizzy, she was no longer strong enough to keep herself from going unconscious. She utilized the little strength remaining inside of her to make it over to the sorry excuse for a bed before her eyes rolled into the back of her skull and she fainted. 

5

A burning sensation started to build in Xia’s abdomen. She tried to pull up her nightgown to look at her stomach, but she couldn’t move. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, her body physically refused to make any movement at all. She tried rotating her head side-to-side, but it stayed plastered in the position it was in. Only her eyes moved, darting back and forth. Her breathing intensified and although her chest would rise and fall, she couldn’t get any voluntary activity to happen.

As her panic increased, so did the burning sensation in her middle. She tried to scream, but nothing came out. Tears spilled from the corners of her eyes and rolled down the sides of her face, catching inside her ears. The burning grew and her skin felt like it was being torn apart from the inside. She wanted to grab at her stomach, but her hands were statues at her sides.

Her crying continued as she stared up at the ceiling, wishing it would all end soon. Then, her eyes grew wide and rushed back down the length of her body. Her belly button was stretching. It didn’t just feel like it was, it literally was. She lay there in horror as it ripped and stretched, her skin and muscles shredding, and not being able to do anything to stop it.

Something poked its way up and out of her navel, hidden by the thin fabric of her nightgown. Then, that too began to rip, and something strange showed itself. And then another. And another. Dozens of centipedes poured from her body and crawled all over her. Their pointed legs felt like razor-sharp needles poking her relentlessly as they moved everywhere. Her clothing was splattered in blood as their tiny feet pierced her. The continuous opening and shutting of their pincers made a noise that sent a tremor down Xia’s spine and she would have given anything for her hearing to fade away. Periodically, they all stopped to gnaw on her flesh and consume her. Each bite stung and burned. It felt like she was dancing in fire. She would have preferred being consumed in flames to being consumed by these repulsive creatures, but she knew that wasn’t going to happen. Finally accepting she was paralyzed and there wasn’t anything she could do about it, she gave in to the pain and the torture became tolerable.

Bottom lip trembling, her eyes closed, and she succumbed to it all. 

Thrown from her nightmare, nausea twisting her innards, chunks of vomit rose from Xia’s stomach, forcing its thickness up through her esophagus and over her tongue, catching between her clenched teeth. Half unconscious, she began to choke as the vomit continued to rise with no escape. Gagging and losing oxygen, her eyelids ripped apart and she rolled her head to the side, letting the puke fly from her mouth, unblocking the jammed stomach acid soup which hadn’t stopped filling her throat. As luck would have it, the flashlight was still on, creating a dim glow in the basement. she saw that had missed the bed and her mess had, instead, landed on the dirt floor creating a muddy, thick sludge. Not that it would have mattered anyway, seeing as someone had obviously already thrown up all over it at some point. Feeling the dried, flaking leftover stomach contents from someone else was enough to have her own threaten to rise a second time. She repeatedly swallowed, hoping all the bile would make its way back down where it belonged.

The inside of her throat felt stretched and throbbed. Xia tried to ignore the burning of the bile as it coated it on its way back down. The intensity made her eyes water and her body shake. Her horrific centipede hallucination turned out to be nothing more than a delusion, but it still stuck with her, and she didn’t think she would ever forget it.

Still laying on her side, her face leaning off the edge of the mattress, she tried to let go of her revulsion and agony and waited for her shakiness to ease up a bit and pass, but then, in an instant, she remembered the truth of where she was, and panic quickly replaced disgust.

She immediately shot up and her chest tightened. Grabbing the flashlight, she moved it around and examined the room more closely than she had the first time. She was hoping a way out would make itself known. She thought most basements had some sort of way directly to the outside. But Xia doubted this basement was anything like what a normal basement should be. As she suspected, she saw nothing more than she had seen before.

She got to her feet slowly. Her balance was extremely unsteady and the weakness in her legs was overwhelming. Her muscles felt like she was using them all for the first time, walking around like a newborn baby giraffe, hobbling all over the place. She couldn’t imagine feeling any worse than she currently did, but then remembered how terrible she felt when she woke up near the lake and how near death she felt then. In comparison, she was actually doing much better.

Even though she had no memory of being in that place before, something about it sent waves of terror through her body. Then, she remembered the butterscotch candy wrappers and the terror tripled. Pushing it from her mind and telling herself it was simply a coincidence, she moved the flashlight’s beam around one more time. She saw markings on the wall near the mattress that brought her to her knees. There was no way of convincing herself the markings were anything but what they were: scratch marks. Someone had clawed their fingernails down, very violently. Dried blood was still etched into the scrapes.

Glancing back down to the bed, she saw that it was covered in brown and green vomit. It was also splattered with deep red blood. Her eyes locked in on the marks again and she knew her suspicion of someone being held down there was true.

Not wanting to, but knowing she needed to check, she looked down at her shaking hands and scanned her fingers. While they weren’t the prettiest at that moment, they didn’t look like the hands of someone who clawed down a wall any time recently. Still, she felt no relief because the voice in her head screamed that she shouldn’t stay down there any longer. It didn’t matter that she didn’t have any memory of before or what happened, all she knew was the minute she got the chance, she needed to leave.

She didn’t know which would be harder to find: the opportunity to escape or the energy she would need to do so. Even though her body felt more recovered than when Madgey found her approaching the cabin, it was still achy and fragile and she would be a fool to think she would be able to fight her way out of there against either of the men and if she did, how could she expect herself to hike the few miles into town.

Xia’s legs grew numb beneath her body weight. She shifted from kneeling into a cross-legged position and wiped the dirt from her skin. Her legs transitioned from being numb to an uncomfortable tingling. Rubbing them, she closed her eyes and waited for the sensation to end so she could focus. Once it did, she sighed with relief and opened her eyes.

She wished there was some kind of window in the room so she could get an idea of the time of day. When she initially came upon the cabin, the sun was fully in the sky, but she had no way of knowing how long she was unconscious. Part of her felt that a lengthy amount of time had passed, but she didn’t think it could have been that long. Madgey had told Xia Ronnie and Dicky would be back that night and gone the next morning. Not knowing what time it was, she wasn’t sure if they had come back already for the evening or if night had already passed and they left for the day.

The sound of faint footsteps came from upstairs. She held her breath and listened with more attention. The footsteps became heavier and more directly above where she sat until she could start hear voices too. After a bit, she could make out the words enough to understand them.

“She’s probably miles away by now, Pop, come on. I got her. I didn’t miss her. And she went into that water. I saw her go in. She’s gotta be dead this time for sure, I know it. Ain’t nobody walkin’ away from that. Can we just finally give it a rest?”

“Oh, you know it, d’ya Dicky? You’re sure? Tired, are ya?” Mockingly spoken, there was an annoyance in what sounded like Ronnie’s voice. “And if someone finds her? What then? Or what if, like before, she ain’t even dead like we thought?”

“It ain’t like anybody could guess that we had somethin’ to do with it. She ran away years ago, remember? Y’all homeschooled us, if you could call what ya did school, so it ain’t like she ever had friends. We’ve always just gone into town once a month and keep to ourselves each time. Nobody knew she came back because we ain’t told nobody because nobody even fucking knows us past a nod. Besides, if she ain’t dead, who is gonna believe her?”

After Dicky’s long-winded response, something shattered and she soon heard scattered shouting throughout the house.

“Those are the only plates we got, you son of a bitch! Don’t break ‘em all!” Madgey screamed.

“Oh, shut the hell up. No one was even talkin’ to you,” Ronnie screamed back before he turned his attention back to his son. “Dicky, if you don’t get your ass back out there, so help me God, I’ll be throwin’ your ugly ass into the water next.”

Dicky must have decided that there was no more use arguing about the situation because all Xia heard next were heavy-footed stomps and the front door being thrown open and slammed shut.

“And you,” Ronnie directed his anger back to Madgey, “keep your eyes open in case she is alive and comes back. That river can only lead her one of two ways: farther upstream towards town or the lake. Let’s just hope we get lucky and she surfaces somewhere near the lake and we find her.”

“If she is alive, you really think she’s gonna wanna come back here to you mean bastards? The only way that would happen is if she happened to lose her damn mind.”

Ignoring her, Ronnie continued, “If she’s out there somewhere, I know she will be back because where else does she have to go? Who else would want her when they find out she’s a fucking freak? If she is alive, she will realize that we’re all she’s got, and she’ll need to learn to live with that again or this fucking nightmare of hers will never end.”

More loud footsteps were followed by the door being opened and slammed shut a second time.

Xia’s mind raced. So many thoughts began to spin and twist inside of her head. The centipedes in her belly made their way north and were now chomping repeatedly into the meatiest parts of her brain, right behind her eye. Spots clouded her vision and pushed pressed her palms to her eyes, willing the pain away.  

Who are these fucking people?

Am I the person they keep arguing about?

Other than her name, she couldn’t remember anything. It made her want to howl in frustration at the top of her lungs.

Thinking about the only memories she had access to, she remembered the look plastered across Madgey’s face when she first saw her. She was surprised to see Xia, there was no doubt about that but, at the time, Xia thought the shock was caused by the sight of how damaged she was. She began to wonder if that shock was due to seeing and knowing Xia. Was Madgey’s first expression upon seeing her one of recognition she pretended to turn into ignorance? Was she acting like she didn’t know Xia when she really did? Or was Xia misremembering everything about that moment now that she was full of fear? Her blocked memory had been confusing and a little chilling at first, but then, it was frustrating and terrifying beyond belief.

She turned her head back towards the marks on the wall and an image of a little yellow dress flashed in her mind and the taste of butterscotch candies devoured her taste buds. Her breath caught in her throat and a sort of filmy haze covered her eyes, placing her forcefully into a dreamlike trance where only she, the dress, and the candies existed.

Still holding her breath, she was pulled from her stupor by a familiar noise, and the image of the dress and the taste of the candies disappeared and she fell back into reality. A key turned in the lock in the door at the top of the stairs. She hurriedly grabbed the flashlight and pressed the button to turn it off, enveloping herself in complete darkness. She crab crawled backwards until her back was pushed up against the wall farthest from the door, then she wrapped her hand around her mouth and slowed her breathing, trying to make as little sound as possible.

From where she sat, she couldn’t see the doorway well enough. The top step creaked as someone stepped on it to come down.

While she was distracted and dazed, had Ronnie and Dicky come back and she hadn’t been conscious enough to be aware? Had she made any noise without realizing it and they heard her? Were they about to discover her down there after Madgey tried so hard to hide her? Or was it Madgey keeping her promise to bring her back up for breakfast?

It was Madgey but that didn’t relieve her. Instead, she suddenly felt a surge of anger, which only confused her even further. Tears began to spill down her face for the hundredth time and she begged herself to stay composed until she knew more or until she could remember something.

Through her misty vision, another flashlight beam shined down on her, revealing where she crouched against the wall. She shielded her eyes with her forearm and waited for what came next.  

6

“Um… Xia? Honey, they’re gone now,” Madgey’s voice rang down, echoing into the nearly empty space. “I’m sorry I shoved you in here the way I did, but if you could hear them at all from down there, you can understand why I did it.”

“Yes, Madgey, I understand,” Xia said, standing up tall and forcing herself to appear stronger and sturdier than she actually was. “I’m very grateful for your kindness, truly, and for you trying to keep me safe, but I’m ready to leave now.”

The flashlight beam pointed directly at Xia lowered slightly, allowing Xia to make out the general shape of Madgey above it.

“Leave? But you haven’t eaten anything. Can you even remember the last time you had a decent meal? You won’t get far on your own as is, but on an empty stomach, you’ll just end up starvin’ out in those woods. No, you’ll stay and I’ll cook you up somethin’.”

“But Ronnie and Dicky… You said—”

“Ronnie and Dicky won’t be back until lunch time, at least. That gives us plenty of time. The sun is barely coming out now. Come on up when you’re ready. I’ll be in the kitchen.” Madgey turned back around, shutting the flashlight off and bathing Xia in darkness again before she vanished through the open basement door. She left it cracked so Xia could follow if she chose to.

Xia considered what Madgey said. The sun was barely coming up. That means she was unconscious for much longer than she thought, almost half a day! She had been out for the remainder of the night and must have been woken up when her need to vomit became too overwhelming.

Distrusting the whole situation, Xia stood where she was for a minute more considering her options. She was eager to leave the claustrophobic room, but hesitant to be anywhere near the family who lived in the house above. Her stomach roared loudly, the hunger spasms drowning out the mighty centipedes residing in it. Eventually, hunger made the decision for her. She knew if she wanted any chance of getting out of there and making it somewhere else safely, she would need all the energy she could get and that would start by making sure she was properly fed. Besides, being out of the basement gave her a greater shot at getting away.

She slowly walked towards the stairs, becoming more balanced with each step forward. Once she reached the bottom of the staircase, she placed her left hand on the wall to steady herself and carefully started to climb. Remembering the nails from before, she stopped and went back for her flashlight and used it to avoid stepping on any of them. She had to pause halfway through to catch her breath, mostly from unease, but after a few minutes, she finally made it through the basement door. Her heart hammered in her chest like a person buried alive, pounding for anyone at all to save them.

After only four steps, she rounded the corner at the end of the short hallway and found Madgey at the homemade stove and the smell of something smokey and delicious filled her nostrils.

Madgey spun around and smiled. “Mornin’. Sleep well? Sorry I didn’t get around to washin’ the blanket on that bed. Wasn’t expectin’ ya to show up when you did. I’ve made you some sausage and eggs and there’s some fresh juice on the table.”

Xia looked towards the table at the pitcher full of orange juice next to a set of mismatched glasses.

“Yep, that’s it.” Madgey nodded her head towards the pitcher, her bun bouncing back and forth.

Xia strolled over to the table and practically fell into one of the chairs. Shaking a bit at the weight of the pitcher, she used both hands to pour it. Setting the pitcher back down, its weight a little less now, she picked up her glass and chugged. The juice was room temperature and packed with pulp. It was zesty and sweet and more delicious than she could have imagined. It washed away the remaining taste of vomit from her mouth, and she was grateful. She hadn’t realized just how thirsty she was until she was finished guzzling down the juice and gasping for breath.

“Whoa there, honey. Slow down or you’ll make yourself sick,” Madgey warned, picking up the pitcher and refilling Xia’s glass. “Sip it this time.”

Xia nodded and raised it back to her dry lips and let herself enjoy the juice more intentionally. The taste was pure ecstasy, even the second time.

Placing a plate full of ground sausage and a large helping of scrambled eggs in front of Xia, Madgey handed her a fork that had one slightly bent prong on the end.

She thanked her and took a bite of sausage, the fat spilling down her chin. She used the back of her hand to wipe across her mouth as she chewed. Next, she stabbed the eggs with the fork and took a bite. It took every ounce of her willpower to keep herself from shoveling every morsel of food into her mouth at once like a feral animal. But she knew she would most likely get sick, as Madgey warned, and then she wouldn’t be able to run or, God forbid, fight if she was withered down from starvation and weak from vomiting.

“Can I take a look at your wounds, dear? I didn’t get the chance much yesterday before Ronnie tried barging in, but you’re lookin’ a lot better than when you first showed up."

Xia thought about it, and couldn’t find a reason why she shouldn’t. Looking down at her rope-burned wrists, the skin was still heavily inflamed, but was significantly better than the day before.

Madgey came forward with a wet cloth and began cleaning the gash on Xia’s forehead. Xia winced when the cloth touched her head.

Madgey paused before continuing as gently as she could. “Got a headache?” she asked, her voice surprisingly soothing.

“Yes.” Xia said. “But it was worse yesterday.”

Madgey nodded and turned her attention to Xia’s rope burns. She lifted both her wrists up to eye level so she could examine them. Turning them over a few times and clicking her tongue, she said, “These look fine. They probably feel like shit, but they’re fine. Have you been able to remember much else since you showed up here?”

Xia placed her hands in her lap and looked down at them. She wasn’t sure how to answer that. She didn’t remember anything exactly, but what was that image of the yellow dress? Why did everything in the basement seem familiar to her, from the claw marks to the butterscotch candies, if she wasn’t close to remembering something? And when they talked about the person they lost in the lake and were trying to find, why did Xia somehow know they were talking about her? Still unsure whether or not Madgey could be trusted, Xia just shook her head no.

Madgey leaned over and patted Xia’s hand. “It’s alright. It’s all probably not worth rememberin’ anyway, I’m sure. Anyway, I hope that nightgown is good enough. I’m sorry I don’t have much else for you to wear. I reckon all my things would be a bit too, well, big for you,” she chuckled.

“It is, thank you,” Xia said softly, forcing a small smile. “I’m sorry I’ve already gotten it a bit dirty. Everything is covered in dust down there.”

“It was my daughter’s. Rebecca,” Madgey went on, staring off to the side, not having heard anything Xia said. “She left it behind when she first left home.”

“Oh. Where is she now?” Xia asked, making conversation as she put another bite of sausage and eggs into her mouth.

Madgey looked over at Xia, a sad expression consuming her features. Her eyebrows furrowed and her wrinkled brow held canyons you could get lost in. The corners of her mouth curled down into an awful grimace.

“I’m so sorry,” Xia said quickly, immediately regretting asking. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Her and her daddy were always bumpin’ heads. It was never anything too terrible. But her and Dicky…her and Dicky fought hard. One day, her and Dicky got into it real bad, and she decided to leave, a choice that her daddy couldn’t ever forgive her for. After she left, she showed back up and, well, Ronnie and Dicky decided she needed to understand that things have consequences.” Madgey was still looking at Xia, but her stare was blank as if she was lost in the memory. “Then… then something happened and none of us could make sense of it. I still find myself thinkin’ ‘bout it all and wishin’ it’s all been just a bad dream.”

There was a malevolent undertone to Madgey’s voice. It turned Xia’s blood cold, spreading goosebumps across her skin. This triggered a memory of her dream about the centipedes and she could feel them inside her again. She put the fork down and pushed her plate away.

Madgey noticed the sudden change in Xia and focused back on her. The strange woman cleared her throat, patted Xia’s knee, and turned her grimace into a tight grin. “Of course, that’s life. Your children grow up and sometimes do things you don’t agree with. Sometimes families grow apart. Sometimes there are things that can’t be explained or understood. But that’s enough of that. Ronnie and Dicky will be here soon for lunch. You shouldn’t be in here when they get back again.”

The sun shone through the windows, despite Madgey covering them in case Ronnie or Dicky came up to the house and peered in. Xia noticed how bright everything was. It was just as bright as the day before when she first sat down on the love seat behind her. She realized almost a whole day had gone by.

Getting up from the table with Madgey, Xia had a look around. She was so overwhelmed by the unfamiliarity and the state of her body when she first arrived, she hadn’t noticed the ladder leading up to a hatch in the ceiling above the kitchen. The hatch opened to a loft area. It didn’t look large, but seemed a comfortable space for someone to sleep in.

Xia didn’t notice Madgey go to the side table next to the love seat and pull out a small container of something and grab a small cloth from the arm of the sofa. She also didn’t notice the containers of bleach and rubbing alcohol in the crate underneath the sink basin.

Her eyes still on the hatch, a memory began to tease the edge of her mind and a tremor of fear threatened to overtake her. Before it got the chance to debilitate her, she called back to Madgey, “Thank you for breakfast, Madgey. I am feeling much better now. If you have something for my feet and will point me in the best direction, I think I can safely make my way towards town for help before Ronnie and Dicky get back. I don’t want to cause you any more trouble by being here.”

For being a woman with such deafening movements, Madgey was somehow able to walk up and stand directly behind Xia without being heard and when Xia turned towards her, Madgey’s giant, callused hand covered her mouth and nose with the cloth.

Nausea whirled in her belly until it created a tornado of sausage, eggs, and orange juice. Everything around her spun and grew fuzzy. Madgey’s face blurred into a massive blob, half of her face looking like it was melting right off the bone, her eye stretching down with it. At any moment, Xia expected to see it pop and feel the juices splash into her own eyes, blinding her. But that didn’t happen. Instead, the dissolving, blurry face just kept staring, her grip tightening on Xia’s aching jaw.

“I can’t do that, sweetheart,” Madgey whispered.

Her face was so close, Xia smelled a hint of butterscotch on Madgey’s breath before her eyelids fluttered, closed, and she faded into nothingness. 

7

When Xia opened her eyes, she was, once again, blanketed in darkness. She couldn’t see anything around her, but she knew exactly where she was. After she was knocked unconscious, Madgey carried and locked her back down in the fucking basement. The insides of her nostrils were searing and the chemicals Madgey had drugged her with coated her entire nasal cavity and caked the back of her throat. Each time she swallowed the rising bile, she wanted to howl in torment.

Lying with her misery, she carefully inhaled and exhaled, trying not to think about how close she had been to outside...to escape. Regretting not immediately running out the front door to freedom when Madgey allowed her upstairs, she felt defeated.

She was tucked into the bed. Disgusted at the thought of being wrapped up in the filth covering the bed, she threw the revolting blanket off of her, then realized Madgey had swapped the vomit-covered blanket for a clean one. Not only was the blanket clean, but so were the cases covering the pillows, and the once bare mattress was covered with a clean sheet. She couldn’t see any of them, but her hands could feel the fresh material as they roamed each surface. Xia brought the blanket closer to her face and though her nostrils still stung, she placed the blanket to her nose and breathed in. It smelled like lavender. Just like the butterscotch, a familiarity surged through her.

Another memory teetered on the edge of her mind and the image of the little yellow dress appeared again, filling her head like it was really there. Before it went away, she caught sight of a small white daisy embroidered into the center of the chest no bigger than a quarter. And then the dress, along with the daisy, faded and she was back in the dreadful darkness.

A faint glow came from a lantern on the ground near the crate next to the bed. It wasn’t as bright as the flashlight, but it lit up more of the room at once than the flashlight’s narrow beam could. Beneath the base of the lantern, she could almost see what looked like the corner of a piece of paper sticking out.

Feeling nauseous and light-headed, Xia rolled to her side and carefully crawled off the bed. On all fours, she creeped over to the lantern and pulled the paper out from underneath it. There was writing on it. She sat on her bottom and read the load of words scribbled in pencil. 

If I had let you leave when you had asked, Ronnie and Dicky would have been back soon after. I wouldn’t have been able to lie and hide that you had been here in that short of time. My emotions would have given me away anyway. I feel very protective of you and I know you can’t understand why right now, but hopefully soon you will. Besides, you were still too weak and they would have caught up to you. They always catch up. I did what I did to help you. I hope you can understand. Keep quiet like before and I’ll come and get you when it’s just the two of us again. M.  

The walls, floor, and ceiling felt like they were closing in on Xia and her chest felt like it was on the verge of imploding. It took all her control to keep from screaming at the top of her lungs, regardless of how much discomfort it would have given her and running the risk of Ronnie and Dicky being home and hearing. Her control was unraveling. She smothered her mouth with her hand to keep it held in and sobbed.

She was so close to the front door. She was so damn close to being outside again. Even if she had no fucking idea where she would go, anywhere was better than where she was. She should have just run. Why did she think she should worry about shoes when there were worse things to worry about…like being chloroformed and thrown back into a black hole. She should have just run and never looked back until she was embraced by someone who would actually help her. What she wouldn’t give to wake back up on the side of the lake again and have the chance to choose a different path. What were the odds of her running into another family of psychos?

She tried to think about why Madgey felt the need to protect her. The idea that Ronnie and Dicky were the cause of her injuries kept running through her mind and she knew it made the most sense; what didn’t make sense was how and why she would have been there before. Remembering the story Madgey shared about her daughter, Xia began to wonder what happened to her. She wondered what part she played in all of it.

She allowed herself to cry until the tears ended on their own. The wound on her head, although healing, caused a constant throb and the crying didn’t help. A new headache was forming and she half expected her temples to burst and she’d feel her brain oozing out of the ruptured pits.

Xia closed her eyes, pressed her fingers against her temples, and begged her brain to not explode. Inhaling a few times and counting to ten, her breathing became steadier. In spite of feeling terrified and in pain, she grabbed the lantern and stood.

As before, she saw the mattress below the claw-marked wall, this time with clean bedding, and the crate that held the random objects. The piss bucket had been emptied, but still had the strong aroma of urine wafting out of it. As she spun around, having a wider access of light thanks to the lantern, she noticed something she hadn’t during her last time down in the basement. There was an area beneath the stairs. Kneeling down, she could see that the dirt was different from the rest of the basement floor. Using her fingertips, she was able to push them through the surface without much struggle. It was so much looser than the firm ground everywhere else, as if it had been dug up and reburied.

The story of Madgey’s daughter, Rebecca, rang in her ears again and she couldn’t deny tehe sense they all had done something to her. If they had treated her in any way similar to how they treated Xia, then they had done something very bad to her.

Considering what to do next, she jumped up and ran to the crate. She grabbed the comb and extra flashlight, unsure if what she was about to do was the right thing. 

8

“There’s no way she made it this far, Pop, even if she was alive. And I ain’t seen no floatin’ bodies anywhere since we started looking. I ain’t seen a damn thing at all, have you? She’s gotta be dead. There ain’t no way in hell she survived something like that. I hit her right in the middle. You saw, didn’t you? I bet she sank down to the bottom and the fish have been eatin’ away at her the whole time we’ve been lookin’.” Dicky maddeningly waved his arms around, half trying to convince Ronnie, half trying to convince himself.

“Dammit!” Ronnie yelled, snatching up a rock and hurling it forcefully towards Dicky.

“Hey! What the hell?” Dicky ducked just in time, the rock nearly missing his face and slamming into a tree behind him. “Listen, like I said before, if someone finds her, whether she is alive or dead, no one’s gonna know we had anything to do with it. It’s all of us against her. We can come up with a solid story. They won’t be able to pin shit on us. I don’t know why you’re so damn worried about it!”

“I know your mama and I never sent you to school, but I didn’t raise you to be a whole dumbass, boy. Think! They do DNA testing nowadays. If they find her, even if she ain’t alive to tell them anything, her body will do enough talkin’ and they’ll find somethin’ that’ll lead them back to us. Then you’ll be wishin’ you had listened to me and looked harder for her!”

“But if she’s been dead in the water, maybe that DNA shit has already washed away.”

“Don’t be ignorant. You know as well as I do that don’t mean nothin’. That little bitch has survived everything we’ve done to her. You know there’s a better chance of her being alive than dead. She’s already proven that more than once. So don’t stand there tellin’ me no bullshit about things you don’t even fucking understand! Now head that way and check on the other side of the lake. Don’t head home until you find her or somethin’ that tells us where she went, you hear me?”

Dicky shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, kicked a rock to the side, and mumbled under his breath.

“I asked if you heard me!” Ronnie’s frustration with his brainless son grew and his shout startled a few birds out of the trees above them.

“Yeah, yeah! I hear you!” Dicky yelled back, causing more animals around them to scatter, including a squirrel who tried to run past Dicky’s feet.

Lifting his booted foot, Dicky angrily slammed it down onto the back of the squirrel. Blood exploded from the sides of its body and the limbs and tail convulsed around its shattered spine. Splattered remains of the squirrel’s squashed corpse stuck to the bottom of his boot. He spat on the decimated creature and looked back up to find Ronnie staring at him, waiting impatiently for his tantrum to end. 

“You done?”

Dicky spit again and nodded.

“Good, now get your ass moving. It’s almost lunch time and I’m already starvin’. I told your mama to have somethin’ cooked and waitin’ for us. I wanna eat it while it’s still warm, so don’t have me waiting or else I’ll head back without you and eat yours too.”

Without another word between them, they went their separate ways. Ronnie headed towards the part of the river that forked into town and Dicky to the outer edge of the lake.

As Dicky walked away, Ronnie could hear him mumbling complaints to himself and he sighed, regretting ever having children at all.  

9

Xia rushed back and knelt beside the loose dirt again, the comb in one hand and the extra flashlight in the other. The unknown of what might be hidden terrified her. What terrified her even more was finding what she suspected deep down was buried there. Rebecca. There was only one way to know for certain and just sitting there thinking about it wasn’t it.

As she leaned forward, she pushed her hesitation aside and started dragging each item through the dirt. She used the round end of the flashlight and the handle end of the comb to dig. After a few strokes, she stopped suddenly as the front door upstairs banged open. The abruptness of her amateur excavation caused the comb handle to get stuck and crack down the middle. A piece broke off and fell, leaving behind a sharp, pointed bit.

Still in a hunched position, she silently placed the unlit flashlight and broken comb on the ground and sat up. It must have been lunch time already. She heard Ronnie and Madgey talking and strained to hear the words.

“Did ya find anything?” Madgey asked.

Ronnie huffed. “What do you think, woman? Does it look like we found shit?”

“Where’s Dicky? I thought y’all were both out there looking together. Wasn’t he supposed to head back with you?”

“That stupid son of yours? We split up after a while. I told him it was so we could cover more ground, but he was pissin’ me off. He’s probably out there following his own tracks, running around in circles and  killin’ more squirrels.”

“What do squirrels have to do with any of this?”

“Nothin’.That’s the point I’m tryin’ to make. He’s always been more of a headache than actual help.”

“Yeah,” Madgey agreed. “And you have to admit that he’s partly to blame for everything that has happened. If he hadn’t done what he done to Rebecca causin’ the the two of you to—”

Ronnie slammed his fist down onto the table. “Dicky just did what any man would've done when a woman flaunts herself at him!”

“Not just any woman, Ronnie! His goddamn sister!”

Ronnie threw a chair across the room and, upon hearing the crash, Xia  wondered if he wasn’t the one who broke the fourth chair that she had seen lying in a pile upstairs.

In a voice laced with enough venom to be felt through the floorboards, Ronnie said, “You know, and I know what the fucking truth really is, Madgey. So, you just shut the hell up now, y’hear me?” Not waiting for her to answer, he changed the subject. “I imagine Dicky will be coming through the door soon. His stomach will lead him home eventually. He’s a fat ass like his mama,” he said with a laugh that unsettled Xia’s nerves.

Madgey still didn’t respond, but Xia imagined the excessive clanging of pots and pans was response enough. With the way Ronnie had spoken to her before, and how he reacted when she defended herself, she didn’t blame Madgey for trying to avoid another series of threats and aggressive heckling.

“You ain’t seen or heard anything around the house, have you? And is that food ready yet?” Ronnie’s voice quickly went from curious to impatient.

“Here,” Madgey said as she flung a plate onto the dining table. “And no, Ronnie, I haven’t. I ain’t seen or heard nothin’ but the two of you comin’ and goin’. Besides, like I said before, why would she come back here? She’d either have to be stupider than Dicky or lost her mind completely.”

“Mhm. You burnt the gravy.”

“My mind’s been distracted. The thought of her out there and you both not findin’ her has me feeling all sorts of ways. I can’t stop thinkin’ about her. I keep thinkin’ about my Rebecca. And if anyone were to find out what we did to her, everything we did, Ronnie, and what Dicky did… I keep imaginin’ what would happen and—”

“Enough about Rebecca already. And I know we’re gonna find the little tramp, dead or alive. If we get lucky, dead. If I had known it was going to end up this way, I never would’ve…” his words trailed off as he packed his mouth full of food.

Silverware scraped along the plate and though the wooden flooring, Xia could hear the mad man chewing ferociously. How Madgey could be married and have children with him was beyond her understanding.

“What are you gonna do if she’s alive when you find her?” Madgey asked so softly Xia could barely hear her.

But when Ronnie replied, his mouth was empty, and she heard him perfectly. “I will do everything I can to make sure she wishes she was dead because I am gettin’ real sick and tired of this shit.” 

10

Dicky’s hunger finally brought him back like Ronnie predicted. Flustered, he said, “She ain’t anywhere on the other side of the lake. Not that I’ve been able to see, anyway. And when in the hell did it get so hot? It’s only the middle of April, for fuck’s sake.”

“Well suck it up because we’re gonna spend the rest of the day lookin’ and come tomorrow, if we still ain’t found her, we will come up with a new plan. She couldn’t have just disappeared into thin air,” Ronnie mumbled.

“Sure seems like it though, don’t it?” Madgey asked, nonchalantly.

The sound of another plate being thrown down onto the table made Xia jump. She let out a small yelp of surprise, but hurriedly covered her mouth with both hands, hoping it had not been as loud as it had sounded to her. She listened, everything above her stone silent, and grew sick at the thought of being found. She sat there, expecting to hear the two men leap from their chairs, march to the basement door, and rush down to discover she had been beneath them the whole time. Instead, all she heard was a tremendous belch.

“You burnt the gravy,” Dicky said, followed by a loud smack. “Ow, Ma! What did ya do that for?!”

“Next time, I’ll hit you with the pan instead of my hand,” Madgey scolded, a toughness in her voice she seemed to have when talking to Dicky, but not Ronnie.

“Both of you shut the hell up right now,” Ronnie said.

“Sorry,” Dicky muttered.

Xia imagined him holding his head down, knowing his father was in charge, not him.

“Nobody can just disappear. Not even her. I don’t give a fuck who, or even what she is, but I’d like to believe that even she isn’t capable of just houdini-ing herself into fucking nothing,” Ronnie declared, though doubt seemed to tickle the back of his mind and his words hadn’t come out as confident as he hoped.

“I’m not so sure about anything anymore when it comes to her,” Dicky admitted. “If we do ever end up findin’ her, are we just gonna have to keep doin’ this over and over? What if it never ends? What’s the point? If nothin’ changes, I’ll probably just end up killin’ myself because at least I’ll know that’ll end things for good for me.”

“I’m heading back out. Hurry up and finish eating. Then meet me back out there. If I’m waitin’ long and have to come back here to get you, you won’t have to worry about killin’ yourself because I’ll do it for you,” Ronnie said on his way to the front door. “Madgey, we’ll be back by the time the sun goes down, so make sure to have supper ready. And try not to fucking burn anything.”

The door slammed shut.

“I wish he’d leave it alone. I’m tired of lookin’. We haven’t found a single thing because, honestly Ma, I don’t think there is anythin’ to find. She’s gone for good this time. I know it. If you ask me, I think she’s somewhere at the bottom of the lake gettin’ all wrinkled up from the water while we’re out there sweatin’ our asses off for nothin’.”

“Dicky, just finish your food already and get out of here. I’m tired of listenin’ to you both about all of this.”

“You ain’t hidin’ her, are ya, Ma?” Dicky chuckled.

“Excuse me?” Aggravation swelled up in Madgey. “What the hell did you just ask me?”

Dicky’s soft chuckle escalated into a full-fledged laugh. “I’m just goofin’ with you, Ma. Here, I’m done. He slid the plate towards the opposite end of the table and Madgey picked it up and carried it over to the sink basin. Dicky stood and stretched, a low moan escaping him. “Pray we find somethin’ useful out there finally and if we don’t, pray Pop comes to his senses and we can stop.” Then, he left.

Xia held her breath, convinced Ronnie and Dicky knew she was in the basement and toying with her anxiety until she hollered and gave herself up. Her legs, folded beneath her, were growing numb as she knelt in the dirt.

After what seemed like an exceptionally long time, the heavy, shuffling footsteps she had come to know belonged to Madgey pounded through the floor above her head. The sound of the key in the basement door’s lock brought her whirling back to what she was doing when Ronnie came home.

Scrambling to her feet, hurriedly brushing the dirt from her knees and shins, she ran back to the crate and threw her bogus shovels back in when Madgey swung open the door and came a few steps down.

“What are you doing?” she asked, eying Xia suspiciously.

“Nothing.”

A skeptical expression settled on Madgey’s face, and she looked around the room, only seeing where the light of the lantern glowed.

Before she got the chance to ask again, Xia changed her response. “I’ve been down here trying to not go crazy after I’ve just been drugged by you, Madgey, and thrown back down into this dark hole a second time!” Her heavy breathing got worse with each word and made her feel lightheaded. She stopped talking and took a deep inhale, calming herself.

“I did it for your own good, god dammit. Can’t you understand that? Ronnie and Dicky would’ve been back and seen you! I wouldn’t have been able to protect you well enough if they had. I told you that in the note I left you. Didn’t you read it?”

Xia ignored the question. “You could have let me leave instead. You could have just let me go.”

“Now I’m thinkin’ you didn’t read the note.” Madgey sighed dramatically and scratched her chin. “I explained that already in there too. If you’d just have read—”

“I read it.” Xia’s anxiety of the unknown before was quickly turning into a debilitating terror. “I don’t know why they’d want to hurt me, but I believe you when you say that they will. I don’t know what I’ve done, though. Whatever it is, I’m sorry. I’ll leave and never come back, Madgey. Please, I can’t stay down here anymore.”

Madgey tapped her fingers against her mouth, thinking. “Well, you can come on up again while they’re both gone.” She pointed her index finger out towards Xia. “So long as you promise me that you won’t run away just yet. That won’t do you no good, I can’t guarantee you that. You’re still not strong enough and you’ll just end up in another bad situation out there and Ronnie and Dicky will just end up findin’ you anyhow.”

Xia bit her trembling lip, her teeth ferociously peeling the chapped skin off. She could taste blood on her tongue as she quickly thought through all her options. She then nodded her head yes.

“Good, girl. Come on up for a bit then. I got some more of that juice you loved so much this morning,” Madgey said, disappearing through the open doorway.

Xia’s eyes looked towards the space underneath the wooden stairwell and slowly followed after Madgey wondering, curiously, what waited to be discovered but hoping even more she would never be forced back down into that terribly confined place. She thought that if it came down to finding out and getting out, she’d take the second choice without hesitation. Yet, for some reason, the need to know wouldn’t stop itching the back of her mind.  

11

Ronnie decided he would give the entire shoreline one last look before coming up with another place to search. If she came out of the water, it only made sense that she would leave behind some kind of proof, and maybe they missed it before. As he approached the edge of the water, he heard footsteps behind him. He spun around and saw Dicky walk through the tree line, picking his teeth with his pocketknife.

“Have you been at home stuffin’ your big mouth all this time? I thought I told you to be quick and then get out here searchin’, you good for nothin’ piece of…” Ronnie’s voice trailed off as Dicky’s eyes grew wide at the sight of something behind him.

He signaled with his knife and Ronnie looked to where he pointed. The rocks near the water were speckled with blood. There wasn’t much, so it was no surprise they had both missed it earlier.

Ronnie bent down in a squat, grunting as his knees popped, and ran his fingers over one of the rocks. The blood was nearly dry, so it had to have been there before. “Motherfucker,” Ronnie cursed under his breath.

“It’s so close to the cabin,” Dicky stammered.

“I know.”

“What are you thinkin’, Pop?” Though Dicky already had an idea of what was running through his father’s head.

Ronnie spit on the rocks, his saliva wetting the blood and as he watched the red trail down to the dirt, he said, “I’m thinkin’ that maybe your bitch mama’s been lyin’ to us.”

“You think she’s really seen her and hasn’t told us?”

“I’d bet all I own that she’s done more than just seen her.”

Dicky’s eyes grew large when the realization of what his father was suggesting hit him. “You think she’s been keepin’ her hidden at the house?”

Ronnie nodded, turning back towards their cabin.

“Well, I mean, if she’s hidin’ her, then there’s only one place she could be, right? And if she’s down there, she’s gonna end up findin’ what we got buried under the stairs.” Dicky began to panic.

“Well, there’s only one way we’re gonna find out. We need to head back right now. Your mama ain’t expectin’ us for a few hours so she won’t be able to hide anything in time without us knowin’.”

“Pop! She can’t find what we got down there! It’ll make everything worse than it is! I wasn’t worried about people believin’ anything she has to say, but if she tells anyone about that and they f…find…” He began to stutter. “Nobody can find it!”

“It’s your own damn fault, ain’t it? So shut the hell up and listen to me for once! We are gonna head back to the house. You keep quiet when we get there, you hear me? Like I said, your mama thinks we’ll be out until the sun goes down.”

“What if she is there when we get there? What then? What are we going to do?” Dicky asked. He paced back and forth, gripping his pocketknife tightly in his hand. “Nothin’ we’ve tried has worked.”

“We try somethin’ new. Somethin’ we ain’t tried yet. And if that don’t work, then we try somethin’ else. There’s gotta be somethin’ that’ll work. We just ain’t figured out what yet. That little bitch won’t keep bestin’ us, I’ll make damn sure of that.” Ronnie took the baseball cap off his head, exposing his thinning black hair. The bare parts of his scalp were covered in dry patches. He wrung the moisture out of the hat and placed it back on top of his head. He walked past Dicky, back towards the cabin.

“And what about Mama?” Dicky asked.

Ronnie stopped but didn’t turn around. “What about her?”

“What if she tries to get us to stop again like she’s done before?”

“Leave it to me if she does.”

Dicky licked his lips, anxiously. “We gonna hurt her too?”

Ronnie stared at his son. “What? You tellin’ me you care about anyone other than yourself all of a sudden?”

“Well she is my mama.”

“Yeah, Dicky, she is. And Rebecca was your sister, but look at what you did to her. Don’t give me any of that bullshit. I know better. Now, come on and let’s head back. I wanna finally finish this fucking mess. I’m gettin’ real pissed off cleanin’ up after you.” 

12

The phone rang twice, the loud chirping echoing through the small apartment, before the young, very pregnant brunette waddled over to picked it up. “Hello?”

There was no answer on the other end, though she thought heard muffled chatter in the background.

“Hello?” she asked again, a voice in her head demanding she just hang up. “Listen, whoever this is, don’t call here anymore. If my—”

“Rebecca?” Someone finally spoke. “Rebecca, is that really you?”

“Who is this?” she asked, though she knew immediately who the voice belonged to.

“Surely you couldn’t forget your own mama’s voice. I hope not, even after these few years.” A tinge of sadness consumed the woman on the opposite end.

Rebecca switched the phone from one ear to the other again, the empty hand subconsciously rubbing her belly. A small kick fluttered inside her, and she would’ve smiled any other time, but in this moment, she was too overwhelmed to even notice it. “How did you find me?”

“That doesn’t matter now.”

She could picture her mother waving her hand dismissively, a gesture she used often whenever Rebecca was growing up. “What do you want? I’m not coming home, if that’s why you’ve found me. You shouldn’t be calling here. You can’t call here.” Rebecca’s voice cracked under the pressure, her eyes looking at the front door every few minutes.

“Your brother went into the city recently.” The woman didn’t acknowledge Rebecca’s last statement.

“I thought he hated the city.” At the mention of her brother, the flutters and kicks inside of Rebecca’s womb intensified. She tried to breathe and calm her nerves to, hopefully, help calm her baby.

“He does, but that’s not the point. He was there. I didn’t ask why. I never do when it comes to him and your daddy, you know that; it causes too much of a headache. Anyway, when he came back, he said he had seen you. Oh baby, when he told me that, I about died from happiness! He said your hair was shorter and you had gotten a bit chubby. You know he talks like your daddy, but he said there was no mistaken’ that it was you. Rebecca, baby, I’ve missed you so much! You have no idea the hurt I’ve been in since you left us.”

“I’m not chubby, I’m pregnant.”

“Pregnant? You went and got married and didn’t even tell your own family, Rebecca?”

Her mother sounded wounded and a sharpness stabbed Rebecca’s heart. “No, Mama. I didn’t get married.”

“But you just said…” Her mother’s voice trailed off. “Oh.” She stopped when the realization that Rebecca was pregnant without a husband sank in.

Neither one of them said anything, but somehow, they knew what the other was thinking. When Rebecca decided to leave home, her father predicted she would be just as no good out in the world as she had been at home and, sooner or later, she would get knocked up by a guy who would just end up ‘leavin’ her raggedy ass and bastard baby in the dirt’. His exact words.

Her mother’s hopefulness chirped back into her voice. “But Dicky said he saw you that day with a man. Surely that must be the daddy.”

“Mason is my boyfriend, but he ain’t the father, no. The father left the day after I told him I was pregnant.”

“It’s his loss,” her mother huffed. “Anyway, what the hell kind of name is Mason? How did you end up meetin’ him?”

“I don’t know, Mama. Those are just the kinds of names people have nowadays. You’re married to a man named Ronald and have a son named Richard. You’re old school.” Rebecca purposely ignored the question of how she met Mason simply because she didn’t want the conversation to be any longer than it already was. She knew Mason would be home soon and he never liked her being on the phone.

“Humph. Well, Dicky said he saw a black eye on you. He couldn’t get too close, but he said it was a shiner if he ever saw one. Did that Mason do that to you?”

Rebecca raised her fingers and lightly touched the bruised skin beneath her left eye socket. She quietly winced as she hypnotically massaged the area, something she would do whenever she received a black eye. “You know what they say, Mama. A girl always ends up with a man just like her daddy. And I had a big brother who was just the same, so why in the hell would Dicky even care?”

“So, you ran from two sets of fists to one and that makes it better?”

Rebecca sighed. “Mama, what do you want? Where are you even callin’ me from? I know y’all didn’t get a phone out there. And how the hell did you get my number?”

“No, of course we didn’t. I made a trip into town and I’m usin’ the phone at Jan’s place. It’s really not that important how I got your number, just that I finally did.” Her mother paused for a moment and if Rebecca hadn’t been able to hear the noise in the background, she would've thought the call had been disconnected. “Listen, I just called because I just wanted you to know that no matter what your life looks like now, you’re still my daughter and I love you.”

Rebecca felt a lump in her throat. “And what about Dicky and Daddy?”

Her mother didn’t respond.

“I thought so.”

Hesitation crept into her mother’s voice. “Speakin’ of your daddy and Dicky, Rebecca, that’s the real reason I called.”

“What do you mean?” Rebecca asked, surprised her mother thought they were a good enough reason to call after everything they had put her though.

“I just wanted to let you know that now that Dicky has seen you, he’s gonna keep tryin’ to see you. And you know how your daddy won’t do a damn thing to stop him. Just… just be careful, please.”

The thought of Dicky being anywhere close by chilled her, but she didn’t get the chance to worry about it because her attention was suddenly pulled away from her mother as the sound of a key in the front door of her small, rundown apartment sent goosebumps across entire body. Fear set off chaotic movement from within her and tiny feet kicked her repeatedly. She whispered hastily into the phone, “Mama, please don’t call here again.”

She hung up the phone as a large, toe-head looking man walked in. The door frame looked much smaller with him standing inside of it. “Hey, baby,” she said with animation and a forced smile. “Did you have a good day at work? You’re off a bit early. That’s really nice. If you’re hungry, I can start makin’ dinner.”

“Who were you talking to?” Mason asked, proving that he suspected something was going on.

“What? Nobody, baby. I wasn’t talkin’ to nobody.” The circular motion of her hands on her belly increased as the activity inside grew powerful.

Mason came fully into the apartment, shutting and locking the door behind him. He tossed his keys onto the nearest countertop, the booming noise making Rebecca flinch.

“I heard you talking to someone.” His voice was calm, but that frightened Rebecca more than if he had whipped out hard words and foul names.

“Oh! You must’ve heard me on here.” She quickly looked over at the phone and pointed at it knowing her words sounded like complete bullshit even to her own ears. “Someone called the wrong number just now. It was nothin’.”

Mason didn’t respond, but took slow, intimidating steps towards her. His boots made a squishing sound on the carpet as he crept across.

Rebecca felt like prey under the gaze of a dangerous predator. It was a feeling more familiar than she cared to admit. “Mason? Baby?” She became quiet as her throat threatened to cave in on itself, but before it got the chance to close and suffocate her, Mason’s hand shot up and the back of his stone-hard knuckles smacked her against the mouth.

Rebecca’s lips connected with her teeth, splitting them apart before biting down on her tongue, slicing a portion of it. It was still attached, but the chunk of meat dangled. Blood filled her mouth. Some ran down the back of her throat while the rest ran down her chin and dripped to her belly.

Mason bared his yellowing teeth, stained from years of tobacco use. “It doesn’t matter how many times I tell you not to lie to me, you still end up doing it. Do you really think I am stupid? Do you think I can’t tell when you’re spittin’ bullshit right in my face!”

Rebecca tried to think of something to help convince him she wasn’t lying and that she didn’t think he was stupid, but her split lip, crushed teeth, and ripped apart tongue made speaking nearly impossible. She had no choice but to just stand there, shaking her head back and forth, trying to keep the blood from spilling out of her mouth. She swallowed most of it and as it coated the back of her throat in a thick, velvety stream, she had a wild thought of vomiting it all straight into Mason’s mouth, making him choke on his own violence.

Instead, Mason grabbed the hair at the back of her head with his gigantic hand and squeezed the wad tightly in his fist.

Rebecca could feel the hair being pulled out and imagined Mason ripping so fiercely that her scalp would come off completely, leaving behind the mushy, bleeding remains of what lay beneath it. With her head pulled backwards, her beaten face pointing up to the cracked, leaking ceiling of their shitty apartment, more blood ran down her throat. This time, instead of being able to swallow, the flow of the blood started to fill her airway and the feeling of drowning made her panic.

The small life inside of her kicked and pounded even harder. Sharp pains pierced her groin and lower back. She imagined the baby elbowing its way in all directions trying to find a means of escape. Please God, not yet, she thought.

“The… baby…” Rebecca gurgled, blood dripping from the corners of her mouth as she forced the words out. “Mason, please. The baby…”

Mason’s bloodshot eyes looked down at her round stomach and it was as if he was suddenly remembering she was pregnant. The firm hold he had on her hair loosened, giving her the chance to straighten up a bit, allowing her spine to elongate and no longer feel like it was going to snap in two.

Turning away from him and pressing her hand against the wall, she let out a sigh of relief as the movement inside of her started to calm down and become normal again. “I need water.”

Rebecca desperately needed to get the taste of blood out of her mouth, but before she got the chance to turn and head for the kitchen, Mason shoved her hard. Her entire front side collided with the beige living room wall. An audible popping sound echoed in the room.

Dizzy and full of agonizing pain, Rebecca turned her body around again, facing Mason, and leaned her back against the wall. She slid down slowly until her bloodied bottom touched the ground. There was a wet sound as her butt squished onto the carpet. Crimson liquid flowed from underneath her dress and the movements she had been so happy were normalizing moments before were now lessening and being replaced by intense cramping. If she hadn’t seen him standing above her, she would’ve thought Mason was stabbing a dull, jagged knife repeatedly into her uterus.

“Mason… 911. Call 911, please,” she begged him as she breathed through the pain.

Mason just stood there.

Rebecca knew he was in shock by how much blood there was. He had smacked her around since the very beginning of their relationship, causing her to believe more than once she had lost the baby, but each time, the situation would end up just fine, so Mason continued to rough her up, using her as his own personal punching bag. This time though, the luck had run out and she knew that he had gone much too far. There was no overcoming this.

His face was consumed with terror and before she could plead with him again to call for help, he sprinted for his keys and ran from the apartment, slamming the door behind him. 

13

Xia slowly made her way up the short basement staircase, feeling lighter with each step upward, hoping it would be the last time she would ever have to climb them. Her body memory seemed to remember where the protruding nails poked through and easily avoided them as she went. When she reached the top step, she could hear Madgey in the kitchen banging around some pots and pans. The noise felt familiar to Xia. All the woman did since Xia showed up was cook for everyone. She doubted it was any different before she got there.

Xia stopped in the doorway and looked around. The basement entrance was at the back of the house, at the very end of the unusually short hallway. On the opposite end of the cabin, where the front door stood, was the combined living room-bedroom area and the small kitchen. There was only one other room in the hall, and it was directly across from her. Peering in, Xia could see a large, metal tub. It didn’t have any type of faucet attached to it, so she assumed it was the kind that needed to be filled with buckets.

When Xia first stumbled upon the house, Madgey had given her a decent scrub down with a towel and a bucket of hot water. She said she was preparing for a bath herself and must have been in the middle of filling up the tub.

There was a homemade type of sink similar to, but smaller than, the one in the kitchen. In the corner of the bathroom, between the sink and tub, was a very simple looking toilet. It resembled what an outhouse toilet might look like with a filthy seat built above what smelled just like a shit hole in the ground. She hadn’t noticed the smell before, but since the smell assaulted her nostrils, she didn’t think she could ever forget it.

She couldn’t quite tell if there was a window anywhere in the bathroom, but if there was, based on how much darker it was in comparison to the rest of the house, it must’ve been covered with curtains or too tiny to show any light from the outside. There was, however, a window to the left of her, on the wall between the two doors in the hallway. It was closer to the ceiling than the floor, unlike the windows in the rest of the house. She wouldn’t be able to reach it without standing on something.

Xia wondered if she could jump but knew she didn’t have the upper body strength to pull herself up enough to make a difference. Mindlessly rubbing her wrists, a surprised gasp escaped her. The burns on her wrists, which were raw and painful the day before, were almost completely healed over. She reached up to her neck and found the skin on her throat was just as healed. The only way she could have recovered that quickly was if she had been there much longer than she thought.

She hadn’t realized she was just standing there rubbing her body in awe until Madgey surprised her, poking her head unexpectedly into the hallway, eyebrows pushed together, and said, “Well? You comin’ this way or are you just gonna stand there with a dumb look on your face all day?”

“What?” It took a minute for Madgey’s words to be understood in Xia’s brain. “Oh, I mean, yes, I’m coming now.” Her sweaty footprints left behind damp marks on the wood floor.

In the kitchen, Xia pulled out one of the three chairs and sat down in front of the pitcher of juice Madgey promised would be there. She wondered if they had orange trees planted somewhere nearby to be squeezing fresh juice so often. The sweet, tart liquid coated her dry throat so perfectly and filled her stomach so wonderfully. It was just as refreshing as the first time she drank it, but there was a little bit more pulp. Xia normally would have disliked it, but at that moment, she didn’t mind it at all.

Next to the pitcher sat a bowl of butterscotch candies, the same ones she found in the crate in the basement. Madgey saw her staring at them and plucked one from the bowl, unwrapped it, and popped it into her mouth. “I have always loved these. I make sure to get them every time we make a trip into town.”

The smell of caramel and vanilla floating through the air brought a flash of the yellow dress with the white daisy back into her mind, along with a head full of wavy brown hair. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to bring it back into view, but everything was blank once more. When she opened her eyes again, she felt a sad stirring in her chest.

Seeing her staring at the table in a daze, Madgey walked up to Xia and snapped her fingers directly in front of her face.

Xia’s head popped up in surprise and she blinked her eyes rapidly, realizing they were on the verge of drying out from being open for so long. She was pulled from her disappearing memory and thrown back into her devastating reality. “I’m sorry,” she said, a little embarrassed she was caught so off guard.

“I thought you were on the edge of a stroke or somethin’,” Madgey said, her candy clinking against her teeth as she spoke. She laid down a plate of food next to Xia’s juice. “Eat. It’ll make you feel better.”

The meal consisted of cubed potatoes with the skin still on, sprinkled with a bit of salt and pepper. There was also some kind of fatty-looking meat smothered in a gray gravy and a medley of peas and chopped carrots. Unlike the breakfast she had been served, it wasn’t the most appealing meal, but she was too hungry to care. Food was food and with her situation still being so unknown, she wouldn’t take food for granted when it was presented to her.

Xia’s stomach growled loudly as she picked up her fork and stabbed a chunk of potato. It was a bit raw in the middle, but her teeth managed just fine. She wondered if Dicky and Ronnie would chastise Madgey’s cooking skills with this meal as she had heard them do before.

“So…” Madgey said, sitting across the table from Xia. She grabbed another candy from the bowl and slipped it between her lips with a slurping sound that made Xia’s skin crawl. “We need to talk. I didn’t know if you were ready yet, and honestly, I still have my doubts, but,” she moved her candy from one side of her mouth to the other, “I’m afraid we might be runnin’ out of time and I need you to know the truth about some things.”

Xia gently dropped her fork down onto her plate and finished chewing the soggy lump of potato in her mouth. She was scared to ask, but knew she had to. “Talk about what, Madgey?”

Madgey’s hands dropped from her face and her attention snapped to her left.

Xia only half noticed the sudden change in the older woman. Her curiosity for what Madgey was about to say was too great. “What do I need to know, Madgey? Do you know what happened to me? If you know anything, please tell me!”

“Hush!”

The crunch of footsteps outside one of the windows next to the kitchen sent Xia into a panic.

“Ronnie and Dicky.” Madgey whispered, her voice dripping with panic. “They’re back.”

“But I thought you said…” Fear kept Xia’s words from fully forming.

Madgey’s hazel eyes were wide and blood shot, the edges filled with tears she struggled to contain. “They know you’re here.”

Seeing the obvious distress on the woman’s face made the fear inside Xia even more debilitating. “I don’t understand.” Her voice was barely audible.

“Listen to me. We need to hide you. And fast.”

“I won’t go back into the basement!” Xia exclaimed a little too loudly.

The footsteps outside stopped and hesitated for a moment.

“Be quiet!” Madgey hissed, the sweet scent of the butterscotch candy smelling rotted by her breath. “No, you obviously can’t go back down into the basement. That’s the first place they’re going to look now that they know you’re here.”

Confused, Xia looked around and asked, “But where else is there?”

Footsteps bounded across the front porch. They were heavy-footed, and Xia wondered if they were actively trying to frighten her.

“Follow me.” Madgey said, and grabbed Xia’s arm, and hurriedly led her towards the bathroom.

“There is no way they won’t find me here, Madgey!” Xia protested, ripping her arm out of Madgey’s grasp. She took a wide look around and suddenly understood exactly where she was meant to hide. Surrendering to the men almost seemed more pleasant than what Madgey had in mind. “Absolutely not!”

Before Madgey could respond, the front doorknob jiggled and a raucous banging followed. “Madgey! Open this fucking door! We know what you’ve been hidin’ in there!”

Knowing what would come of them finding the girl, Madgey started to panic.  “You have no choice! You need to hide right now!”

Xia stared down into the shit-filled hole in the ground beneath their toilet seat and could only see a black, gaping mouth opening wide, waiting to devour her. She shook her head rapidly and bile began to rise. “I can’t do it. Please don’t make me do it.”

From behind her, Madgey touched her arm gently. “I know. I’m so sorry.” Genuine regret filled Madgey’s voice. Then, gripped the hair at the back of Xia’s head and, with one move, slammed Xia’s face against the hard edge of the seat.

A powerful waft of something foul and spoiled filled Xia’s nose before her consciousness faded into nothing. 

14

Rebecca sat in a pool of blood, agonizingly tortured by what felt like everything inside of her being ripped apart and scrambled around. Her blood loss was extensive, and she drifted in and out of lucidity. Her hands and feet began to tingle painfully as the sensation in them became unlike anything she had ever felt. Her head was on the verge of bursting, like at any minute her skull would squeeze her brain and the squashed remains would come pouring from her ears. But none of that compared to the torment in the middle of her body. Her stomach muscles contracted continuously, her lower back screamed that something was wrong, and her groin felt like it was being shredded. All of it worsened the longer she sat there. One moment, she would pass out, then the next a more intense moment of pain would bring her back, wailing in misery.

A loud knock came from the other side of the wall and she could hear her neighbor yelling something, but she couldn’t quite make it out. Her ears could hear the sounds, but her brain couldn’t make sense of any of it. It was using all its energy just to survive.

The contractions grew in strength and kept getting closer together until they were almost one right after the other without any pause in between. She didn’t know too much about childbirth, but something in her knew the baby was coming. She was far enough along, but the amount of blood she lost, and continued to lose, meant something terrible.

Another knock came, but this time from the front door. “Rebecca! Rebecca! What’s going on! Is everything alright?” There was a pause, but Rebecca was too weak to shout back. “Please answer me!”

She shut her eyes and her mouth opened wide in a silent scream of pain that turned into a deep, guttural howl. She couldn’t answer in words, only crying, as the pressure in her stomach and the shredding sensation in her vagina consumed every part of her existence.

Mason must have forgotten to lock the door behind him when he ran out, leaving her and the baby to die, because when she opened her eyes again, her neighbor, Carolyn, standing a few feet away with the most terrified expression on her face.

“Please…” Rebecca finally managed to say, almost to the point of feeling completely numb to everything. It took all her strength to resist the darkness closing in on her, in hopes the life inside her could be saved. “My baby…”

Carolyn shook herself out of her shocked state and raced for the phone before rushing to Rebecca’s side. “Breathe, keep breathing, Rebecca,” she said while dialing 9-1-1. Then, into the phone, she spoke quickly, “We need immediate help! 394 N. Harrison Avenue. Apartment 62. My neighbor is pregnant, and I just found her on the floor bleeding. Oh God… She’s bleeding a lot! I think her baby is coming. Rebecca, don’t close your eyes, look at me! Rebecca!”

Mason never let Rebecca get close to anyone, so she didn’t really know her neighbor. All she knew about Carolyn was that she lived by herself, and had for as long as Rebecca lived next to her, and she was around the same age as her mother. She felt a gratitude well up inside her at the loving and concerning stare this woman was pouring into her. With that gratitude came a new wave of energy.

Sitting up, Rebecca leaned herself forward onto her hands and knees and paused to breathe through a contraction, then she then sat back against the wall in a crouching position. Instinctively, she knew the baby was coming. With the last scream she could muster, she howled like a feral animal and pushed her baby out.

The infant fell into her hands, its slimy body heavy in her weak grasp. Afraid of it slipping through her fingers, she quickly pulled it up and held it firmly to her chest. Still crouched, her legs shook beneath her. With Carolyn’s assistance, she carefully lowered herself back on her bottom and allowed the placenta to ease its way out of her.

“It’s a girl, Rebecca, a beautiful baby girl.” Tears streamed down Carolyn’s face, and although she smiled, there was sadness in it.

Rebecca wanted to look down at her daughter, the quiet, still bundle in her arms, and be in awe of the new life she brought into the world, but she was still losing blood and could feel herself falling away. She couldn’t convince herself to hold on any longer, and began to fade.

As Carolyn lifted the baby from Rebecca’s weakened arms, paramedics stormed into the apartment and rushed to their side, catching Rebecca as she passed out.  

15

Xia woke up on her back, her arms spread wide at her sides, floating in what felt like a soupy mud puddle. But when the smell of feces filled her nostrils, she knew it wasn’t even close to mud. She sat up instantly and before she was completely erect, her gag reflex responded, and she violently vomited hot bile until her stomach was cramping and her throat was burning. The vomiting transitioned into dry heaving before she was able to get it under control. Her nose throbbed and her forehead ached. She was confused by the pain at first, but then remembered what Madgey had done to her. She was actually grateful for the dried blood caked in her nasal cavity because it made the smell less staggering.

Reflexively, she went to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand but, thankfully, stopped herself before she did. Her hands were covered in shit and piss. Her hair, having marinated in it for God only knew how long, was still wet with the excrement and as she tried to squeeze it out, she looked around. The space was much larger than she imagined. It could easily fit 12 other people in there with her. She stood and had to crouch just slightly to avoid hitting her head on the ceiling. The sludge came up just to the middle of her thighs. She cringed at how much filth was surrounding her and wondered how they emptied it, or if they even did.

Trudging through the thick, chunky liquid, she made her way over to the hole that Madgey must have shoved her through. She peered up and couldn’t figure out how she managed to squeeze her through the tight opening.

Taking another look around, her eyes more adjusted to the darkness, she saw another source of light. It came from a small slit near the corner opposite the hole overhead. Hoping it was a way out, she lifted each foot, one after another, slowly so as to not slip, and dragged her legs through the disgusting muck. As she came closer to the slit, she heard shouting up top and froze in place.

“Where in the hell is she, Madgey?!” Ronnie yelled, his impatient tone carrying through every part of the house.

“I told you I don’t know! She ain’t been here since before!” Madgey screamed back, but even Xia could hear the dishonesty in her voice.

As she continued to listen, she thought their voices sounded closeby. She guessed they were arguing in the hallway. Ronnie must have checked out the basement just as Madgey predicted he would. Xia wanted to be relieved she hadn’t hidden in the basement after all, but her location was, literally, very shitty.

“Don’t you fucking lie to me again. I know she’s been here, now tell me where she is!”

“I’m tellin’ you, ain’t nobody been here, but us!”

Slap.

“Then tell me who the hell you changed them ugly ass sheets for down there!” The basement door slammed.

Madgey’s voice lost its strength. “I just changed ‘em. That’s all. Just in case. I’ve been goin’ crazy over here not knowin’ if you’ll find her!”

There was a quiet pause. Xia’s body was aching from standing so still and an itch crept up near her elbow, but she didn’t dare move.

“I swear, Ronnie. I swear it. Wait… What are you doin’?”

Ronnie pushed Madgey up against the hallway wall.

“Ronnie, stop pushin’ me! Get off of me, god dammit, you’re hurting me!”

Ronnie whispered something, and Xia had to hold her breath and strain her ears to be able to hear. “Whose damn juice is that then?”

“W-what?”

“You heard me.”

“The juice? I… I made that juice for you and Dicky.”

“Oh, really? Well then, whose glass of juice is that on the kitchen table? If it was for me and Dicky, there would be two glasses, but there ain’t. There’s only one and it’s half drank. And I know sure as hell it ain’t yours. You’ve never cared for orange juice. But Rebecca didn't mind it, did she? You always made sure to have some fresh whenever she was living at home. So, I’ll ask you one more time. Who was drinkin’ that juice?” Ronnie’s tone was venomous. He knew he caught Madgey red-handed and it was only a matter of minutes before she admitted everything.

The mention of their daughter, Rebecca, the vague story Madgey told, and the recent memory of the juice on her tongue sent a chill down Xia’s spine that didn’t quite make sense. A whiff of something familiar gave her heart a pang and she breathed through the discomfort, fearful of a panic attack. She could see herself falling beneath the surface of the pool of feces and drowning in it, though that would probably be less agonizing than whatever Ronnie and Dicky had planned for her. She still couldn’t figure out why any of it was happening and at that point, why didn’t even matter anymore.

Madgey and Ronnie shuffled closer to the kitchen table and their voices were harder to hear. Xia took that chance to get closer to the slit of light, not letting herself believe it was anything but a way out. She moved forward as fast, but as quietly, as she possibly could. The sloshing sounds she made as she walked normally wouldn’t have been considered loud, but in the enclosed space, each bit of movement sounded like claps of thunder. Whenever she heard a pause in the noise above her, she would stop in her tracks until one of them started talking again.

Reaching the corner, she found the slit of light was much more than just a slit. It was a small, latched door, handmade like almost everything else in the house. The door must have been put there to gain access for when they needed to empty the fecal area. She questioned how often they actually used it. The rusting latch on the door creaked loudly and she paused, but the conversation continued upstairs.

“Sometimes… sometimes I just make it to smell it. I smell it because it reminds me of her. It reminds me of the few times that weren’t so goddamn awful! Okay? Nobody else has been here, Ronnie. Nobody.” Madgey sniffled and hiccupped through her tears. She didn’t sound any more believable than before, but she did sound absolutely pathetic and terrified.

“Okay, Madge. I’m gonna choose to believe you then, for now. But if I find—”

Immune to the disgusting nature of the shit, Xia scooped some up in her hand and used it to lubricate the latch. Once completely wet and smothered, it came undone easily and without sound. But as Xia began to open the mini wooden door, it wasn’t the latch that announced her presence. The door let out an atrociously loud roar and Ronnie’s threat broke off.

“Son of a bitch! I knew you were hiding her!” Ronnie pushed Madgey hard into the kitchen table.

The legs of the table scraped against the floor and the glass of juice tumbled to the ground and shattered, spilling juice all over, and Ronnie’s stomping feet sprinted to the front door.

Madgey ran to the bathroom, her back bruised from where it made contact with the edge of the table. She knelt beside the toilet and lowered her face into the hot stench rising from below and yelled to Xia, “Run! He’s coming for you!” 

16

Rebecca was full of confusion when she woke up. She was in a room she had never been in before surrounded by incessantly beeping machines. Those machines were connected to tubes that ran along the edge of her bed and connected to her. One of the tubes punctured the top of her hand, covered by clear tape.

There was a large window to the left of her with its curtains pulled to the side. Bright, blinding sunlight shone through and her eyes watered if she looked too long in that direction. She closed them and laid back against the soft pillow behind her head. She tried remembering what brought her there, and it all came flooding back. Her hands instinctively crawled to her empty stomach and she wept. Her whole body ached from the crown of her head to the soles of her feet, but she couldn’t feel anything outside of her massive grief. Through all the terrible moments she had ever experienced in her life, that one was, by far, the worst. She had never felt anguish and heartbreak like that before; never had she wished for her own heart to stop beating the way she did then. It was overwhelming and consumed every piece of her.

She was still cradling her abdomen and feeling lost when someone knocked on her hospital room door. A nurse dressed in navy scrubs came in and her large, green eyes were full of concern. “Rebecca? Honey, are you feeling any pain? What do you need?”

Her tears continued, but she couldn’t form words. It was obvious she was feeling pain. It was obvious what she needed most. She had just lost everything special to her. She needed her daughter. “M-my b-baby,” she finally choked out through heavy sobs, snot falling from her nose down to the corners of her lips. Drool drained out of her mouth, and she let it. She couldn’t care less about how unhinged she appeared to the woman next to her because she didn’t care about anything other than feeling the tragedy.

The nurse sat on the edge of the bed. Her heavily tattooed hand swept a strand of auburn hair behind her ear. “I didn’t catch any of that, hun. Take a deep breath. Yep, that’s right. Good. Now, go ahead and say that again, please.”

Rebecca inhaled deeply, and repeated, “My baby.” She was still crying, but she spoke much more clearly that time.

The nurse nodded her head. “Of course. You’ll get to see her soon, I promise. But for now, you need to rest.

Rebecca quickly shook her head from side to side, crushing her eyes shut again. “I don’t want to see her. I can’t see her like that. I want to think of her how she might have been if she were still here.” Rebecca sniffed and pulled her sheet up to wipe her face. Holding back yet more tears, she had the urge to vomit. She could feel the acid rise in her throat and burn its way up to her mouth, but she swallowed it back down.

“Oh God. No, no, Rebecca—” the nurse began, but Rebecca interrupted her before she could finish.

“Yes! It’s my choice and I’m tellin’ you that I don’t want to see her! Just leave me alone. Please,” she begged, sadly. She bit her bottom lip to keep it from quivering.

The nurse smiled and scooted farther up the bed, closer to Rebecca. She grabbed her hand and pulled it into her lap. “That’s not what I mean, Rebecca. I meant, no, you don’t have to think about how she might have been if she were still here because she is still here.”

“What?” She heard the words, but they jumbled together in her brain.

“Your daughter is alive, Rebecca. After you passed out, the paramedics were able to get her breathing. They rushed both of you here yesterday.”

“Yesterday? Have I been out that long?”

“Yes, but that’s not unusual for someone recovering from such intense blood loss. You both got very lucky. I’ve never seen such an incredible outcome, honestly. Your daughter is in our Neonatal Intensive Care Unit two floors up while the doctors finish up the last few tests. But, with how strong she’s already proving to be, I imagine she won’t have to be in there for much longer.”

“She really is alive?” Rebecca asked, hoarse, yet hopeful.

The nurse’s smile grew, and she patted the back of Rebecca’s hand. “You can see her in just a little while after they’re done with those tests. In the meantime, you should keep on resting. I’ll come back and get you soon to take you up to her room so you can officially meet her. Maybe by tonight we can convince the doctors to let her sleep in here with you.” After making sure she was settled and had everything she needed, the nurse headed for the door. Before she left, she turned back to Rebecca and grinned from ear to ear. “By the way, she has the most beautiful wavy, brown hair you’ll ever see.” 

17

The opening was barely wide enough for Xia to squeeze through. Her sides scraped the splintering doorway as she forced her way out of it. She could feel the tiny shards of wood ripping through the nightgown and her skin. Her body screamed for her to stop, but she had no time to waste; Ronnie would be running up any second. Tormented by the continuous splitting of her skin, she wailed. There was no use staying quiet now that Ronnie knew where she was. She just had to push herself through the door and hope her legs didn’t give out on her.

Once her body popped out, she didn’t have time to feel any relief. She stood on trembling legs and ran. Her bare feet trampled over every rock and twig, piercing pain stabbing into the bottoms of her feet with almost every step. She pushed it all from her mind and picked up speed. The way her body moved and carried itself, despite how weak she felt and how beaten she had been, impressed her, but she knew if she let herself slow down, even slightly, she would fall into a heap on the ground.

“Dicky! She went that way!” Ronnie sounded like he was still near the house.

She still hadn’t put enough room between herself and the house to feel safe. And, she had no idea where Dicky was. She hadn’t heard him at all, only Ronnie, and she knew that he could be even closer to her than Ronnie was and, if she didn’t keep going, he was sure to catch her.

She ran faster.

Every branch she ran past snagged onto her nightgown, leaving behind holes in its fabric, and exposing her mangled, filthy skin underneath it.

“Come on, girly! We know you’re out there! Don’t make us waste our breath findin’ you!”

She couldn’t tell how far away Ronnie was from her. She couldn’t hear well enough over her own heavy breathing and the crunching sounds beneath her feet as she continued forward. Not hearing Dicky at all, not knowing where he was, was the worst part of all. What if she used all her energy to run away and ended up running right into his open arms? Her initial fear allowed her to go so much farther than she thought she would be able to, but her body strength was dwindling. She was struggling to convince it to keep powering through. She was worried about dropping from exhaustion when an opening under an old oak tree came into view. It was wide enough for her to crawl through, but didn’t seem large enough for her to be visible to anyone walking by.

“Just a bit farther. Make it to that tree,” she whispered to herself.

When she reached the tree, she dropped to her belly and stuffed her feet in the opening before backing the rest of herself in. For a moment, she hesitated at the thought of what might be hiding down there in the dark, but she knew it couldn’t be any worse than what was chasing her.

She had to hunch her back to fit all the way in. Though the position was uncomfortable, she was grateful for the chance to rest. She hadn’t noticed how badly her calves and thighs were cramping and she was glad she couldn’t see how torn up her feet were. The top of her head grazed the bottom of the tree trunk, its roots tangling in her wild, smelly hair, and the pressure inside her chest cavity eased as she caught her breath.

There were three other small openings surrounding her. She tried to press herself up against one of the larger roots that sat between two of the openings. After a few minutes of not hearing or seeing anything, she wondered if they had gone a different direction or gave up searching altogether, but she knew that was too good to be true. Then someone came into view. From her place under the tree, through a gap between the earth and the enormous, winding roots of the tree, she could see a pair of scuffed, muddied boots.

“Where’d ya go, girly?” The words were spoken with such annoyance. “We know you can’t have gone far. So, come on out.” The boots paced almost directly next to the tree. “It’s gettin’ dark. You won’t survive a night out here on your own. Let us take you back to the house and work this all out.”

Ronnie was right. The sun was getting lower and with the thick trees, it was already darker than when she had run from the house. In her hurry to hide, she hadn’t noticed, and it didn’t take a mountain man to know it would be nearly impossible to see or navigate safely once the sun went all the way down. And who knew what would come out at night? She was in no condition to defend herself from wild animals, but the same went for defending herself against two dangerous men, and the thought of a hungry cougar scared her less.

Lost in her own mind, Xia hadn’t realized Ronnie stopped pacing until he took a few steps closer to the tree. Despite being caked in dried crap, she quickly covered her mouth with both of her hands, silencing the sounds of her breathing. Her skin smelled horribly, and she only hoped Ronnie couldn’t smell her too. She backed up farther against the roots behind her, trying her best to keep her legs out of sight from Ronnie if he came closer, but he didn’t; he just stood where he was. Xia thought he would stand there forever when he began to walk away, his feet disappearing to the left of the tree, out of sight.

After a moment she lowered her hands from her mouth, quietly welcoming in fresh air. She waited and listened. She could still hear his feet crunching on leaves and sticks close by.

“We know you’re out here, so just come on out already. You’re really startin’ to piss me off again!” he exclaimed, sounding fed up and exhausted. Then, Ronnie’s footsteps stopped and he didn’t say anything else.

All was quiet around Xia. She held her hands over her mouth again and listened. She didn’t hear anything and could no longer see his feet. She could feel a panic building in her. She closed her eyes and tried to calm the rising anxiety. The wavy-haired girl in the yellow dress with the daisy on the front popped into her mind and, at that same moment, a burly arm reached through the opening to the right of her and tightly gripped her neck. Xia tried to scream, but the fingers around her throat made it impossible. The fingers felt like fire on her skin, and as she tried to wiggle herself free, the strength of the grip only increased.

Dicky held on to her while Ronnie ducked down and peered in at her. His eyes met hers. They were brimming with anger and another emotion that Xia couldn’t quite place, but terrifying just the same.

Still squirming, she tried to lean away from Dicky, to slip even just a bit out of his hand, but her movement had no effect on his hold. He pulled her towards the opening, and once he had his second hand on her, she knew there was no escaping him. He crushed her so tightly in his arms that she felt like her lungs were going to collapse. It was difficult to breathe and lightheadedness started to come over her.

Ronnie smirked. “Forever a pain in my ass. Let’s go home, Rebecca.”

Then, Xia passed out. 

18

The same nurse as before, the one she now knew as Lydia, came back a few hours later, as promised, with a wheelchair. “Alrighty, Rebecca. Little Miss is upstairs waiting for you, if you’re ready.”

“Would it be okay if I asked you to call me Xia instead? The name Rebecca is from a different life, one that I want to try and forget.”

The nurse smiled and nodded. “Absolutely. Xia, it is.”

Xia sat on the edge of the bed and stretched. For once, she didn’t wake up with her muscles aching and her eyelids dragging. She had the best sleep she had ever known in the few hours at the hospital. She never knew she could feel so rested. Her relationship with Mason was too volatile to really be able to relax enough to sleep the way a person truly needed and life growing up wasn’t any less explosive.

Nurse Lydia pushed the wheelchair up next to the bed and locked the brakes before she reached her arm out.

Xia took the offered help and carefully stood. She was prepared for her body to be weak, expecting it really, after all the blood loss and trauma it had gone through, but as her legs took on her full body weight, they were surprisingly strong. She felt like she would have no problem walking, but decided, just in case, the wheelchair was the better option.

Making their way out of the room and into the chilly corridor, Nurse Lydia wheeled Xia to the elevators. She pushed the ‘up’ button and waited for one of them to ding. A set of doors opened before them and they went in. When they reached the NICU floor, they exited the metal box.

Nurse Lydia muttered something to a middle-aged man in magenta scrubs at the nurse’s station before they turned and entered a hallway full of bright blue doors. There were paintings of baby animals all along the walls and the lights above them were dimmer than the rest of the hospital. At the end of the hall was a window which peeked into a room which housed rows of enclosed incubators and open cribs.

“That one,” Lydia said, pointing to one of the cribs.

Xia’s eye lit up. She couldn’t see much through the white railings surrounding the crib, and looked up at the nurse with pleading eyes.  

“Don’t worry, we’re gonna get closer,” she said, pushing a button on the wall.

An automatic door opened next to them and Nurse Lydia wheeled her through. After having her wash her hands, she finally asked, “Are you ready to meet your daughter?”

Xia swallowed and nodded nervously. Barely more than a day ago she thought she was losing her baby, and possibly even her own life, and yet here she was getting ready to hold her in her arms.

“Have you thought of a name for this sweet girl?”

Without hesitation, Xia announced, “Ella.” She hadn’t really considered many names during the pregnancy, but each night she went to bed, the name Ella always appeared in her dreams. And at the sight of her, Xia knew she dreamed of this little person before her, and Ella was her name.

“Ella,” Nurse Lydia repeated, a look of approval on her face. “I love it.”

Ella fit perfectly in Xia’s arms. She yawned and cooed sweetly in her sleep and didn’t seem to have any worry in the world as she was cradled safely in her mother’s embrace.

Xia stared down at her daughter’s heart-shaped face and ran her hand through her already thick, wavy brown hair. Nurse Lydia was right, it was more beautiful than any she had ever seen. Ella, herself, was more beautiful than any she had ever seen. She was unlike anything Xia could ever have imagined.

“The paramedics said they have never seen anything like her before. They didn’t expect her to make it. Everyone around here is calling her a miracle.”

Xia kept staring at her sleeping child, wondering if she was dreaming and what kind of dreams a baby had. Did she know that the arms that held her were her mother’s? At that internal question, Ella’s pouty lips curled up into a smile and Xia took that as an answer. “Yes. She is a miracle.” 

Xia’s arms felt empty as Nurse Lydia wheeled her back, leaving Ella behind. They promised she would be brought down to her in just a few short hours, but now that Xia had spent time with her, those hours would feel excruciatingly long.

“By the way, you have a visitor waiting for you.”

“I do?” A prickle of uncertainty creeped up the back of her neck. Surely Mason didn’t think to come and see how she was; she didn’t think he had it in him, and with what Nurse Lydia told her during their walk back down, the police were looking for him.

Had her mother found her, or worse, her father and brother? She didn’t think any of them were her visitors either because unless they had been watching her at that specific time, there was no way they could have known. As they continued the rest of the way down the hallway, she kept wondering who was waiting to see her, feeling apprehensive.

“Yep,” Lydia replied, not catching on to the anxiety that had overcome her patient. “The older woman, your neighbor I’ve been told, who called the paramedics. She’s been worried sick, calling every chance she’s had and asking how you and the baby have been doing.”

They entered the hospital room and Xia shimmied herself onto the bed.

“If you’d prefer, though, that she visit another time, I don’t mind telling her you fell asleep as soon as we got back from seeing Ella.”

Xia smiled gratefully but shook her head. “Thank you, but that’s okay. Carolyn saved mine and Ella’s lives. Seeing her would be really great, actually.”

“You got it, sweets. I’ll go and grab her now.” 

Carolyn eased the door open and popped her head in, a smile spread across her face. “Knock knock,” she sang as she walked into the room, a small, purple gift box in her arms.

“Carolyn, hi! Come on in. I’m so glad you’re here.” Rebecca greeted her across the room. She had moved from the bed to a chair next to the window after Nurse Lydia left. The sun shining through the glass felt so warm and welcoming on her skin and made her feel better than sitting up in bed. 

Carolyn walked over and sat in a chair close to hers. “How are you feeling? I can’t believe how great you look! Oh God, I hope that doesn’t sound awful. I just mean, the last time I saw you, you were just…”

“I know. I can’t even imagine what that must have been like to walk in on. I’m so sorry.” Ashamed and embarrassed, Xia looked out the window.  

Carolyn laid her hand over the top of Xia’s. “Don’t you dare be sorry. I’m just sorry I hadn’t made my way over sooner to you.”

Xia glanced up and smiled softly at the older woman. “Thank you.”

“Your nurse tells me you don’t want to be called Rebecca anymore.” 

Xia nodded her head. “I just feel too many bad things when I hear that name. I left behind my old life for a reason and that name is something that still ties me to it. If I keep a hold of it, then I’m just so afraid that old life will keep a hold of me.” 

A look of compassion washed over Carolyn’s features.“I can understand that. It’s easier to start down a new path when the one we we’re on is finally closed off. And sometimes that means letting go of things.” 

Xia wondered if Carolyn was going to inquire about what made her want to run away from her old life, but she never asked. Instead, somehow knowing Xia preferred not to talk about things, she turned the subject around to focus on her.

Trailing her fingers softly over the gift box in her lap, Carolyn said, “Did you know that 23 years ago, I, too, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl?”

Xia didn’t know. She honestly had no idea that she had any children at all.

Carolyn continued, “I know you’re probably wondering why you’ve never seen her come and go from my apartment. It’s because 23 years ago, I lost her.” 

A gut punching sorrow hit Xia. Walking in on her after what Mason had done would have been traumatic for anyone, but she couldn’t imagine just how traumatic it was for someone who had lost their own child. “Carolyn, I am so sorry. That must have been so hard for you.” 

Carolyn nodded, biting her lip to keep it from shaking. “The hardest part was that I didn’t lose her in the way you must be thinking.” 

Xia’s eyebrows pushed together inquisitively.  

“I didn’t lose her to death. She… vanished… into thin air it seemed. The nurse wheeled her out in her bassinet to do a little blood poke and no sooner than I closed my eyes, she was rushing back into the room, her eyes full of sorrow and panic. Everyone searched the floor. The whole hospital went on high alert. Someone had taken her and before I even realized they had, she was gone.”

Even 23 years later, Xia could see all the anguish and torment on Carolyn’s face as if everything had happened yesterday.

“Nobody claimed to see anything, so the police could only do so much. They stopped looking for her after a week. She would have been around your age now.” She reached down to pull a Kleenex from her purse and dabbed her eyes. 

Shocked and unsure of what to say, Xia just listened.

Carolyn sighed and shook her head. “I didn’t mean to get so emotional. Please, forgive me. I just wanted you to understand why I brought this for you.” She held out the gift box. 

Xia reached forward and took it from her.

“You see, I bought this for my daughter after she went missing. I had hoped it was all a bad dream and that one day she would come back to me. But now I know that was just a silly mother’s dream. I don’t want it just sitting inside of my dresser drawers anymore, going unused. I thought that maybe, well, that is if you want it, you could use it for that sweet girl of yours.” 

It was a yellow dress with a white embroidered daisy on the front. from the box.

“I know it’s too big for her now, but I figured she could grow into it.”  

She lowered the dress back down to the box and stared up at the woman with tears in her eyes. “It’s perfect, Carolyn. Thank you. For everything.” 

19

Xia’s eyes shot open as a piercing, biting cold poured over her. It felt just like the water she had come out of when she woke up on the edge of the lake. Despite the warmth of the air outside, the water was shockingly freezing. “Stop! What’s happening? Where am I?” she screamed, gasping for breath between each word as another bucket was dumped on her.

Once her eyes adjusted, she saw exactly where she was. Two lanterns, much brighter than the one Madgey left for her last time she was down there, sat on the ground a few feet apart from each other. Everything else down there appeared how it had been when she last left the basement, with the exception of the two men standing in front of her.

“Well, hello there, Rebecca,” Ronnie uttered, hands on his knees, leaning forward to be eye level with Xia. His breath reeked heavily of whiskey, and his teeth were yellowed and chipped.

“Why do you keep calling me Rebecca? I’m not Rebecca! My name is Xia!” She tugged her arms upwards, but they didn’t move far. Each one was stuck. She was tied tightly to an old wooden chair. She pulled with all the strength she had, but it wasn’t nearly enough. Her skin screamed as it ripped beneath the rope.

“Your name is Rebecca. Always has been, always will be.”

Fighting against her restraints only caused her pain and tore her skin to shreds, so she stopped squirming; it wouldn’t help her any. The smell of Ronnie’s breath floating towards her made her stomach hurt worse than the smell of the shit hole she had escaped. “Madgey told me about your daughter. She told me about Rebecca. I am not your daughter!”

Ronnie’s face contorted into an odd expression.

Dicky chuckled. “She really don’t remember this time, does she? She remembered all the times before.”

“Shut the hell up, Dicky.” Ronnie spat.

“But she don’t! I don’t know about you, Pop, but I’m thinkin’ maybe that’s a damn good thing!”

“I said, shut up, Dicky!” Ronnie stood back up and rubbed his dirty hands over his stubbly face, pacing. “Just let me think for a minute, will ya.”

Dicky grumbled under his breath, pulled a small can from his back pocket, and shoved a wad of something brown into his lip.

“Were you messin’ around down here?” Ronnie asked after thinking quietly to himself for a bit.

The question caught her off guard and for a moment she had completely forgotten about the area underneath the stairs. “What?”

“When Madgey threw you down here before. Did you have a look around?”

“N…no. Of course not,” Xia lied. “I was too scared to do anything.”

Ronnie’s hand cracked against her jaw and blood instantly filled her mouth. A memory of a similar moment flowed through her when the taste hit her tongue, and it tortured her to sense it but not remember it fully.

Ronnie raised his voice even louder to get her attention. “You’re a bad liar, like your goddamn mama. Now I’m gonna ask you again, and you better tell me the truth this time. Did you have a look around down here?” 

“Yes!” she admitted, doing her best to not cry. She licked the inside of her lip where blood spilled out. Ronnie’s slap had split it wide open.

“She found it! I know she did.” Dicky seemed to panic, and it wasn’t until Ronnie shot him a piercing stare that he became quiet again. He stood off to the side, breathing heavily. The lump of chewing tobacco hidden in his lip made his face look deformed and even more menacing.

Once Ronnie was sure Dicky wouldn’t have another outburst, he squatted in front of Xia and laced his fingers together. “What did you find?” His jaw clenched as he studied her face for any dishonesty.

Xia shook her head, scared to answer for fear of saying the wrong thing without even knowing it. “I didn’t find anything. I…” her voice trailed off because she didn’t know if telling them about the area under the stairs would upset them or not.

“You what?” Ronnie asked.

“The dirt.”

His lip twitched. “What dirt?”

“The dirt underneath the stairs,” she whispered faintly. Blood still leaked from her lip into her mouth. She wanted so badly to rinse it out, but she knew asking Ronnie for something to drink would only irritate him.

“What about the dirt under the stairs?”

She leaned her head back as far away from him as she could, feeling the top of the chair press into the base of her skull, but he only leaned closer, letting her know she couldn’t get away from him so easily. “It’s not firm like the rest,” she explained. “It’s loose. Almost like… somethin’ was buried there recently.”

“Oh yeah? Like what was buried there?” Ronnie’s voice grew lower, and his eyes narrowed.

Xia was confused. “I don’t know. I never got the chance to really look.”

“Bullshit!” Dicky hollered. “She ain’t tellin’ the whole truth. She knows!” He moved towards Xia with his fist clenched, ready to strike her, but a noise from above stopped him.

“Ronnie! Dicky! What the hell is going on? You bastards come up here and untie me right now!” Madgey yelled from upstairs.

Xia could hear the legs of a chair bouncing up and down as the large woman tried to break herself free from it. She must have been unconscious that whole time, but woke when she heard Dicky’s booming voice.

The men ignored her shouts and brought their attention back to each other.

“Maybe she does know, but maybe she doesn’t. I’m gonna go up and deal with your mama. You can stay down here and deal with her.”

Dicky stared down at her with a sinister smirk. “Sure thing, Pop.”

“Just, for God’s sake, don’t make a huge mess this time, boy. I’m tired of always cleaning things up because of you two.” Ronnie grabbed one of the lanterns and made his way up the stairs. He slammed the basement door behind him, leaving Xia and Dicky alone.

The lantern he left for them was faint and it cast an ominous shadow on Dicky’s face.

“Please,” Xia begged, though she knew nothing she said would make any difference to him.

Dicky smiled and ran his fingers through his dark hair, a strand of it falling back out of place onto his greasy forehead. He reached into his front pocket and pulled out one of the candies from the dish Madgey had upstairs. He unfolded the golden wrapper and popped it into his tobacco-filled mouth. “You remember when I used to steal mama’s butterscotch candies for you when we were kids, Rebecca? They were always your favorite. I still eat them sometimes when I’m thinkin’ about ya.”

She could hear the candy moving around, clinking on his rotten teeth, and imagined it being covered in the brown muck still in his mouth. She didn’t answer him. No words would come.

Taking two steps closer to her, he began to unbuckle his pants.

Xia’s eyes grew wide with alarm, and she tried pulling her wrists from the rope again. Fear of Dicky made the burning of the fibers against her skin unnoticeable.

Dicky’s pants fell to the ground, exposing his frightfully erect penis. He stroked it as he came even closer to her, his eerie smile curling at the corners. “I think about you a lot, Rebecca.”

“Please! Please! You don’t have to do this!” It felt like her heart was about to beat its way out of her chest. She wished it would just stop beating altogether and save her from whatever was to come next. Knowing it could only be one thing, Xia squeezed her eyes shut and prepared herself as much as a person could prepare for something so traumatic.

Dicky moaned and she envisioned him continuing to rub himself, but instead of what she expected to happen, warm liquid poured over her. She opened her eyes to see Dicky unleashing a stream of heavy, foul urine and was covering her in it. She coughed at the intense smell of ammonia.

When he finished, he shook himself dry and let go of himself. With his pants still at his ankles, he leaned forward until their faces were only inches away from each other. His breath was worse than Ronnie’s and she thought she would choke on it. His teeth were yellow like the others, but his were also abundantly stained brown. He dramatically drew in a deep inhale and spit a chunk of chew off to the side. “Now you smell like shit and piss.” 

Something came over her then as she stared into his smug face and before he stood back up, she leaned in towards him, opened her mouth as wide as it would go, and bit down on his nose, feeling the skin break between her teeth. His blood mingled with the taste of hers.

Dicky screamed and attempted to pull his face away, but her teeth only tore into him more. He grabbed her jaw and squeezed until the pain of his fingers caused her mouth to reflexively widen and release his nose from its clutches. He stammered back and, forgetting about his lowered pants, fell over and collapsed onto the dirt ground with his naked bottom. “You fucking bitch!” he wailed, holding his bleeding nose in his hands, rivulets of red seeping through his calloused fingers.

The entire lower half of Xia’s face was smeared with a mixture of both their blood and when she smiled at him, in suffering pain, her teeth were completely crimson.

His anger intensified. “Get that shit-eating grin off your face!”

Her smile didn’t waver. She thought his eyes would pop right out of their sockets and that made her laugh hysterically, a squeal coming from deep within her belly like she had never heard before. That only made her laugh harder and louder.

The basement door flung open and crashed into the wall. “What the hell is going on down there!” Ronnie yelled.

“She bit me!”  

“What did you just say?” 

“She bit my damn nose almost clean off! I’m bleedin’ everywhere down here!”

Ronnie’s frustration with his son was tangible. “Get yourself together down there or get your ass back up here! I ain’t got time to babysit you!” He slammed the basement door shut and stomped away.

Dicky stared at Xia and let go of his nose.

She hadn’t bitten a chunk off like she had hoped, but her teeth had left behind two gaping gashes that would leave him with scars. She internally celebrated the fact that every time he saw them, he would be reminded of this moment.

He stood, pulled his pants back up, and fastened them as he strolled back towards her. “I’m gonna make you regret that.”

Xia stayed quiet, but never moved her gaze away from his. She sensed the threat beginning to weaken. Something in the way he looked at her was both pissed and terrified.

“Stop looking at me like that!”

Thinking he might turn around and leave fed up, she kept her eyes locked on him. Instead, he rushed at her, his gigantic fist connecting with the center of her chest. It felt like a boulder barreling into her. The force of his punch knocked the wind out of her and her entire body, still tied securely to the chair, flew backwards. Her head hit the floor, stunning her.

Before she knew what was happening, Dicky jumped on top of her, straddling her awkwardly as she was stuck in a sitting position. Dazed, he gripped Xia’s face between his fingers again and, like before, he forced her mouth open. Her lips were forced into an oval shape and, try as she might, she couldn’t close them. Looking up at him, her vision blurry, she saw his confidence returning.

“Are butterscotch candies still your favorite, Rebecca? Let’s find out.”

Fighting against him was impossible with her arms and legs immovable. Blood from his nose dripped onto her, lathering her cheeks, falling into her eyes, but it was nothing compared to what he was about to do.

Creating a lump of phlegm in his throat, he used a string of mucus to slowly stretch the butterscotch down. The candy and saliva were joined together with the chewing tobacco he kept in his lip. The slimy, almost-black sweet made its way between her lips, sliding over her tongue.

She did her best to close off her throat so she wouldn’t choke on it, but her rising bile made it difficult.  

“I hope that tastes fucking delicious.” He licked her top lip with his sludgy tongue.

A memory of being in the basement with Dicky another time, long ago, began to play out in her mind before he removed his hands from her face and slammed her head against the ground. The memory danced and swirled, and then completely disappeared, as everything around her faded away.   

20

With a two-year-old Ella balanced on her hip and a bag of groceries in her other arm, Xia hurried along the sidewalk, her eyes darting in random directions. While running errands in town, she couldn’t shake the feeling of a set of eyes watching her all day. She didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, but the ominous feeling followed her.

Despite the invisible stare melting into her the whole way, they made it safely back to their apartment. After the incident with Mason, she had made the choice to move. Her former neighbor, turned close friend, Carolyn helped. Xia couldn’t continue living there after everything that happened. Two years later, she and Ella were happily living in a small studio. It wasn’t the grandest of places, but it was just enough for the two of them.

Mason was arrested soon after he attacked her. The police found where he was hiding and had him in custody by the time she was discharged from the hospital. A restraining order had been granted and in the two years since, she hadn’t seen or heard a word from him. She wasn’t sure what had exactly came of him, and it didn’t matter to her in the slightest. The eyes that followed her home made her think of him for the first time in a while.

Making their way inside, Xia quickly shut and locked the door behind them, and lowered Ella to the floor.

The small girl lifted one of her feet and said, “Shoe!”

Xia knelt down and slipped the booties from her daughter’s feet, tickling the bottom of each one.

Ella was wearing the yellow dress with the daisy Carolyn had given her when she was born. Since she’d gotten big enough to fit into it, it was one of her favorites. Ella would use her tiny finger to trace the outline of the embroidered daisy, mesmerized. Brushing back a strand of her wavy, brown hair, Ella blew a kiss to her mother and giggled before scampering off to the toy chest at the end of the living room, which also acted as their bedroom.

Xia was admiring her daughter, so full of joy with her baby dolls, when the phone on the wall rang. It rang a second time before she reached it. “Hello?” she answered, hesitantly. She was always concerned with who might be on the other end.

“Hi! I tried calling earlier, but you must’ve been out,” Carolyn’s cheerful voice carried through the phone.

“Hey, Carolyn. Yeah, I needed to pick up a few things for Ella and we stopped at the park for a bit too.”

“I bet she had so much fun. We should go again tomorrow! I haven’t seen you since last week. Work has been chaotic! But I have tomorrow off, so if you’re not doing anything…”

“Ella and I would both love that! We miss you terribly.” 

Carolyn talked more about what all was going on at work until a knock came at the front door.

Xia didn’t realize Carolyn had stopped talking and waiting for a response until she heard her repeat her name.

“Xia, honey? You still there?”

“Yes, sorry, someone’s at the door. You mind holdin’ on for a sec? I’m just gonna go check really quick.” 

“Oh, are you expecting anyone?”  

“No,” Xia said, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“Okay, well, I’m sure it’s nothing, but I’ll stay on the phone, okay?”  

“Okay.” Xia considered telling Carolyn about how she felt like she was being followed all day, so someone unexpectedly being outside her front door made her nervous. Instead, she just put the phone down onto the counter and tiptoed over to the door. It didn’t have a peephole and, normally, she didn’t mind, but now she wished more than anything that it did. 

Knock, knock, KNOCK. 

“Who is it?” Xia called out to the stranger on the other side, her voice cracking at the end.  

The only response was another set of knocks. 

“I won’t answer if you don’t tell me who you are!” she shouted, forcing her voice to be more assertive than she felt.  

A fourth knock pounded against the door. It sounded like a wild animal attempting to break its way in.

Ella whimpered behind her with fearful eyes wide and brimming with tears.  

Xia bent down, hid her own panic, and whispered, “Ella, go and hide. Mommy will come and find you. Okay?” 

For as young as she was, Ella was incredibly smart. She nodded her head, understanding, and ran away quietly to the bed in the corner and hid herself between the mattress and the wall, completely unseen from the door.

The knocking stopped. Heavy footsteps paced back and forth a few times before walking away and growing quieter until they couldn’t be heard anymore.  

Xia pulled her largest knife from the silverware drawer and listened one more time before she unlocked the door and poked her head out. The hallway was empty, like it normally was, but a pair of dirty boot prints led to and from the doorway. Her heart raced and she quickly slammed the door shut again, locking it. She leaned back against it and placed her hand over her chest, catching her breath.

She returned the knife to the drawer and braced herself against the counter, trying to regain her composure.

Carolyn was shouting from the phone receiver and Xia ran to pick it up, her mind still in a whirlwind. “I’m here, Carolyn.” 

“What on Earth happened? I could hear you shouting, then I heard the door open, and I couldn’t hear you anymore! You scared me!” Carolyn sounded just as flustered as Xia felt.  

“There was someone at the door,” she said, even though that was obvious.  

“Who was it?” 

“I don’t know.” Xia stared at the door, expecting at any moment for the person to rush back and begin banging on it again.  

“What do you mean?” Carolyn asked.  

“I asked who it was, but nobody answered me. I waited a bit, and when I finally checked the hallway, there wasn’t anyone around.” 

Carolyn sighed. “You shouldn’t have opened it.”

“I know.” Still unsure whether she should mention feeling watched, she ended up telling Carolyn. 

“Was it…” Carolyn paused. “You don’t think it was Mason, do you? I know it’s been two years, but you just never know with men like him.” 

She admitted the idea certainly had crossed her mind, but a bigger part of her didn’t believe it was him.“It could be, but I honestly don’t think so.” 

“Well, how’s Ella? I know that must have scared her.”  

“Oh my goodness, Ella! I completely forgot I told her to hide. Carolyn, I’ll call you right back.”

Before Carolyn could respond, Xia hung up the phone and rushed over to the bed. She pulled it a few inches away from the wall and there Ella was, crouched down with her small hands over her face. Xia knelt closer to her and gently removed them, but Ella squeezed her eyes shut.  

“I found you, Ella. It’s okay, it’s just Mommy.” 

Ella climbed up into her mother’s open arms and buried her tiny face in her neck. 

“It’s okay, baby.”  

Dicky shut himself in the filthy payphone booth around the corner from Xia’s apartment building. He stuck a quarter into the metal box and brought the receiver up to his ear. It rang and rang and right before he was about to hang up, someone answered.

“Lon’s place,” a gruff-sounding woman said. “What do you want?”

“Put Ronnie on,” Dicky demanded.
“Yep.”

There was a bit of white noise as the phone was passed over. 

“So?” Ronnie asked, belching loudly. 

Dicky’s lip twitched with exhilaration. “It’s her.” 

“You’re sure?” Ronnie’s speech was slurred. It was only one in the afternoon and the old bastard was already drunk off his ass.

That fact didn’t faze Dicky at all. If he hadn’t been out playing detective, he’d probably be drunk too. “I’m sure. I followed her around all damn morning. I even went to her place and heard her voice. It’s her.” 

“Wait a damn minute. You went to her place? Are you stupid or somethin’?” Ronnie immediately sobered, his voice clear.  

“Calm down. She didn’t even open the door. I knew she wouldn’t. I just wanted to have a bit of fun with her, that's all.” Dicky paused and wondered if he should tell his father the next part. He knew he would find out eventually and telling him now would be better than him finding out later. “There’s something you should know though, Pop.” 

“What?”  

Dicky didn’t answer right away. Instead, he shut his eyes and pictured the little girl with the wavy, brown hair in the yellow dress. She looked just like Rebecca did when they were kids.  

“Dicky, god dammit, what?” Ronnie asked again, losing his already thin patience.  

“She’s got a kid.” 

21

Xia woke with a heaviness on her stomach and hands around her throat. She stared up at Dicky, his eyes wildly staring back down at her. He was sitting directly on top of her, and the pressure of his weight felt claustrophobic.

The butterscotch candy was still stuck in her mouth. She used her tongue to move it closer to her lips, its slipperiness making it difficult. Once she got it where she wanted, she spit it out, aiming at Dicky’s face. It hit his eye but didn’t affect him; he maintained his grip on her.

Feeling her windpipe start to crush, she fought against him with no success. Both of her arms were still bound to the chair, but one of the legs snapped when she fell, freeing one of her ankles. As well she could, with her back on the ground and still forced into a sitting position in the chair, she thrust her knee up and into the center of his back. She didn’t hit him as hard as she had intended, but her kneecap connected with his spine.

The hit stunned Dicky momentarily, and his hands loosened.

Xia gulped in the rancid air around her and screamed, “Somebody help me!” Her voice was hoarse, and it hurt to make any sound, but she didn’t know what else to do. She wasn’t sure who she was screaming for though. Anyone in hearing distance wouldn’t do a thing to help her.

As if reading her thoughts, Dicky laughed. “No use yellin’. Ain’t nobody who can help ya gonna be able to hear ya.” But still, he placed his palm against her mouth to silence her.

She wasted no time biting him on the webbing between his thumb and index finger, chomping down on him even harder than she had his nose and he squealed like a stuck little piglet.

He pulled back, trying to rip his hand from her teeth.

Xia held on tight and refused to release him.

Finally ripping his hand away, losing flesh, he hurriedly moved away from her, cradling his wounded digits to his chest, blood soaking the front of his shirt.

She spit the chunk out towards him. Normally, she would have been absolutely disgusted by how salty he tasted, but her taste buds were so traumatized at that point, she tasted nothing. 

Still protecting his hand, Dicky stood and kicked her. The toe of his boot met her side, but also, unintentionally, the arm of the chair, breaking it.

She was able to slip her arm from the rope before Dicky saw, and as he pulled his leg back to kick her a second time, she shoved her hand out and hit his foot enough to catch him off guard.

The unexpected hit threw him off balance, and he fell backwards with such force, his head cracked against the ground, echoing loudly in the confines of the basement.  

Breathing painfully, her side bruising from the kick, Xia waited quietly to see if he would get back up, but he lay there unconscious. Part of her hoped the fall killed him, but the movement of his chest told her he wasn’t dead.

Knowing he wouldn’t be knocked out forever, she wasted no time untying the restraints on her right wrist. Her fingers were weak, but they did their job. Within a few minutes, both her hands were free. She leaned forward to work on her left ankle, her stomach muscles cramping in the crunched pose. Once it was free too, she rolled away from the chair, and even farther away from Dicky. She crawled towards the mattress and winced. Leaning against it, she pulled up the nightgown and saw a large, purple circle forming on her side. One of her ribs felt broken, hurting every time she inhaled, but she ignored the pain and stood up.  

Even if she managed to get up the stairs before Dicky woke, she risked running into Ronnie upstairs. She hadn’t heard him, or Madgey for that matter, in a while, but she hadn’t really been paying attention with keeping Dicky from killing her.

Creeping forward, Xia peered over at Dicky. His foot twitched, startling her a bit, but he continued laying there, mouth open. She took a few more strides and came to the bottom step of the staircase and could see the outline of the doorframe at the top, a small line of light at the base.

The area under the stairs popped back into her mind, and she knew if she left without knowing what was there, she would spend the rest of her life wondering. Avoiding Dicky as much as possible, she retrieved the lantern and carried it over to the spot she was curious about. She was suddenly frozen in place; her nerves crept their way up, immobilizing her.

After what seemed like an eternity, her body finally responded, and she lowered the lantern to the ground. When she felt a little calmer, she dropped to the floor near the disturbed dirt under the stairs.

Suddenly, she was grabbed by her hair and her head was pulled back with such force that her neck popped in a way she didn’t think it was meant to. Extreme pain wrecked her while a hot breath blew against her ear.

“I’m gettin’ real fuckin’ tired of this,” Dicky spat.  

“Please, please. If I am Rebecca, then I’m your sister. Why are you doin’ this?” She let out an agonizing moan as he pulled her head back even farther.

He laughed and grazed his lips over her skin. “Oh, you are Rebecca. Mama used to make me feel so ashamed of how I felt and the thoughts I had. She used to tell Pop that it was all me and not you, but he just beat the both of us anyway for it. But you know what? To hell with all that. To hell with them.” He shoved his face into her hair and inhaled deeply. Pressing his slimy, yet somehow sandpaper-textured, tongue against her jaw, he licked all the way up her cheek to her temple.

Rapid memories of her and Dicky flashed through her head, one after the other, over and over and over. With each one, they sped by faster and faster. Moments she couldn’t remember before came flooding back. Her body tensed and she started to seize.

Shocked, Dicky let go of her and her convulsing body crashed to the floor.

Her shoulder cracked against the ground, breaking upon impact.

Dicky just stared while a massive dust cloud danced around her flailing body.  

22

  Sitting on a park bench together, Xia and Carolyn watched Ella play with another little girl in a sandbox nearby.

She waved excitedly at them and giggled.

“When you had told me that you were wanting to change your name after Ella was born, I didn’t think much of it at the time. I just figured it was so Mason couldn’t find you and I understood that. But this... I never would have guessed any of this,” Carolyn said in disbelief.

Xia confessed who she really thought had shown up to her apartment the day before, which meant she had to tell her everything else. “I wanted to change my name right away, but I never thought they would actually care enough to come lookin’ for me, so I just kept it the same. Then my mama called me that day, the day Mason put me and Ella in the hospital, and I realized just how important it was that I made sure they couldn’t find me, that they couldn’t find her. I started the legal paperwork the week I brought her home, and soon after that, you helped me move.”  

Carolyn bit her lip and twisted her hands in her lap. “They really hurt you like that?” 

Xia pulled her eyes away from Carolyn and looked towards Ella playing with her new friend. “Yeah.” 

“How could anyone do that to their own sister? Their daughter?”  

“Daddy smacked us around all our lives, and it just became somethin’ you got used to. I quickly learned what not to do or say around him, but sometimes he just felt like hittin’ somethin’ and that somethin’ was usually one of us. Dicky was worse though. Mama made us share the loft even as we got older and when I finally told them one day what he would do to me up there, Daddy blamed me and beat me for it. So, it just went on.” 

“And your mother didn’t do anything at all?”  

“Mama was always in the background. She was more bark than bite. She would holler at Daddy and Dicky, but they knew she would never do anything. She would comfort me when neither of them were around, but that never made a difference when it came to what was happenin’.” Her voice faltered and she paused for a moment to let it build back up. “I couldn’t imagine ever lettin’ Ella down like that.” 

Carolyn leaned over and took one of Xia’s hands in hers.

Xia wiped her watering eyes with the collar of her shirt. “I knew that nothin’ was going to change, so one day, once I got old enough, I decided to leave. And I hadn’t heard from them in such a long time that I thought they had just forgotten about me. Or at least I had hoped they did. Then she called me that day. I don’t know how she found me or how she knew where to call me, but she did. Carolyn, I can feel it inside of me. It was them yesterday. Dicky or my Daddy, maybe even both, but I know it was them, and I am so scared of what they might do.”  

“Let’s go to the police then.” 

Xia threw her hands up in the air and laughed anxiously. “There’s nothin’ much they can do though, is there? I ain’t actually seen either of them.” 

“But if you really believe it’s them…”  

 “The police won’t help me.”

Carolyn looked towards Ella; the other little girl left with her mommy, so Ella was playing on her own, still as happy as could be. “Do they know about her?”

“I think so. Dicky found out I was pregnant and told Mama. I don’t know what they told my daddy though.”

“You need to be careful, Xia. For you and for Ella. Let me come stay with you for a while. Maybe they’ll decide to leave you alone if they know you’re not alone,” Carolyn suggested.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that. It wouldn’t be fair. My apartment is way too small for all of us to be comfortable.”

“Then come stay with me!” Carolyn’s face was full of concern. “Please. At least until we figure something out and know that you’re going to be safe.”

Xia wanted to tell Carolyn that she hadn’t ever felt safe her entire life, but she pretended to consider the idea. Giving a false smile, she said, “Okay.”

23

Just as Xia thought, Ronnie had been waiting upstairs. He came barreling down the stairs as fast as he could when he heard Dicky hollering. When he reached the bottom, Xia was in a heap on the floor, her head twisted to the side, saliva forming a pool at the corner of her mouth. “What the hell happened this time?” he asked, looking at the unnatural way Xia’s body was crumpled.

Dicky shrugged, shaking with excitement.

Ronnie couldn’t tell if there was a bulge growing in his son’s pants or if it was just a trick of a shadow.

“I didn’t even do as much to her like I’ve done before. Her body just started whippin’ around’ all crazy and then she fell to the floor. Her heart ain’t beatin’.” 

“That don’t mean shit. You know that.” Ronnie looked down at her lifeless body and expected her to suddenly gasp for air and be alive like all the other times before, but she just kept on laying there. 

“I know that, Pop, but it’s been a half hour. I’ve been sittin’ here, just waitin’. It’s never been this long before. It’s gotta be it this time, right? Man, you should’ve seen her flappin’ around. She looked like a fish out of water dyin’. It looked…painful.” Dicky adjusted his crotch.  

Ronnie looked down at Xia and admitted that she did look dead, but he thought so all the other times too. He couldn’t decide what to believe anymore. 

“So, what now?” Dicky asked.  

“Let’s bury her out back. We never got the time to do that before, but maybe this time—”

“I still don’t understand how she’s been able to…” Dicky interrupted, but quickly shut up when he saw the irritated look on Ronnie’s face. “Sorry.” 

Ronnie went on. “If she is good and dead this time, we can’t just have her lyin’ around. And if she ain’t actually dead and just takin’ longer this time, then maybe her bein’ buried will finally solve things. Now come on, hurry and help me carry her upstairs.” 

Ronnie grabbed beneath her armpits while Dicky grabbed behind her knees. “Count of three. One. Two. Three.”

Barely weighing 115 pounds, they lifted her easily.  

“Jesus Christ, she smells like shit,” Ronnie grunted. 

“And piss.” Dicky smirked. 

Backing his way up the stairs, Ronnie made sure to, very slowly, take one step at a time, periodically peering behind him to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally misstep. At the top, Ronnie leaned Xia’s shoulder against the wall, propping his knee underneath the middle of her back to steady her as he turned the knob and swung the door open.  

They carried her into the hallway, Dicky grunting dramatically as if she weighed a ton.

“Put her down a minute then,” Ronnie said when they got to the living room.

Dicky didn’t even try to be gentle. He happily dropped her legs with a thud.

Ronnie rolled his eyes and strolled over to a crate underneath the kitchen sink tub. He reached in and pulled out a handful of rope, the same they had used to make the burn marks which faded on her body.

“Fucking hell! What did you two do to her this time? Why can’t you just leave well enough alone?” Madgey yelled from the chair she was tied up in. 

Ronnie ignored her and shoved the rope in his armpit. He walked right by his wife as if she didn’t exist and right back to Xia’s lifeless body. “Alright, then, let’s get her outside.”

Propping the front door open, they picked her back up and carried her out. They crossed the porch and made their way around the cabin to the back with Madgey still shouting at them from inside. 

“Where we puttin’ her?” Dicky asked, eager to be rid of her.  

“I was thinkin’ right outside the door to the shit hole,” Ronnie huffed, out of breath. Even though she was small, her dead weight grew heavier with each step they took. “We don’t ever get visitors, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. Nobody will suspect a thing about a smell comin’ from there.” 

Dicky agreed it was a good plan.

When they got to the spot, they placed her body off to the side.

Ronnie cracked his back and sighed, then let out a low whistle at the sight before them. A visible brown trail could be seen leading out of the small door that led underneath their bathroom. Looking at it, a person might just think it was mud, but the smell of shit lingering in their air made it all too obvious what it really was.  

“I still can’t believe she made it out through there.” Dicky stared at it, amazed.

“Yeah. Let’s just get started. Hand me one of them shovels, will ya?” Ronnie pointed to the two dirty, rusted shovels leaning against the house.

Gripping them with tight, white-knuckled hands, they began to dig. The earth was soft and didn’t put up much of a fight, but the amount they needed to remove to create a big enough hole was a chore.

“How deep should we dig?”  

“Deep,” Ronnie answered, still digging. 

“Yeah, but how deep is deep?”  

“Christ, Dicky, I don’t know! Just keep goin’ and I’ll tell you when to stop. Got it?”  

After an hour, the sun beating down on them started to get closer to the tree line and lessen its brutal shine.

Ronnie wiped sweat from his forehead and exhaled, “I think that’s good.” 

“Oh, thank God.” Dicky dropped his shovel to his feet and stretched his arms above his head. “She still hasn’t moved. That’s a good sign, right?” 

“Seems like it. Let’s hope so. She’s been nothin’ but a headache since we brought her back.” Ronnie looked up towards the sky and muttered under his breath. “Not like your dumb ass hasn’t been any less of a headache.” 

Dicky chuckled nervously, quickly steering the subject away from himself. “Does Mama still think she wanted to come back here on her own?” 

Ronnie ignored his question and pointed at Xia. “Let’s just get her in before it gets too dark.” 

They climbed their way out of the freshly dug grave and each took hold of one of her ankles and dragged her towards the hole. There was no tenderness as they threw her in. A loud crack exploded in the air as her body hit the bottom.  

“Alright, let’s cover her up.”

They both picked up their shovels and laid dirt over her broken body.  

24

Carolyn tried calling again, but like all the times before, the answering machine picked up. A simple, “Hey there. Leave me a message,” in Xia’s mellow voice.

“Hey, I know I’ve left you a million messages already, but I’m just trying to see where you’re at. I haven’t heard from you, and you and Ella were supposed to be over when you got off work. That was more than two hours ago. This isn’t like you and just with everything going on, I’m getting worried. Please call me back.”

Carolyn waited another twenty minutes before she grabbed her keys and headed over to Xia’s. Something didn’t feel right.  

Xia was extremely groggy when she woke up in the covered bed of a dirty pick-up truck. The only windows were at the very front in the cab of the truck where two men sat. She couldn’t see them well through her drug-addled vision. Her ankles were tied together and her hands were bound tightly behind her back. With each small movement she made the rope ripped into her skin and made her nauseous. She wore no shoes and the only things covering her almost naked body were a tank top and a pair of underwear.

A scream tore through her, but was instantly muffled by a cloth covering her mouth. She tasted blood and could feel some dripping down her forehead and over her right eye. She was dizzy and confused, trying to remember what happened.

She had gotten off work and picked up Ella from daycare on the way home. She had planned on showering them both before they left for Carolyn’s and then…

Suddenly remembering her daughter, she began frantically searching all around her. Her eyes darted everywhere, and she blinked rapidly, begging her eyes to sharpen up. Then, she saw a small, cowering body, curled into the fetal position, off to the side.  

Ella.  

Moving her jaw back and forth, widening her mouth and pushing with her tongue, she was able to slide the cloth down to her chin. “Ella,” Xia whispered.

Her throat was dry, and her face was inflamed. It felt as if they had soaked her whole head in bleach. She only hoped they hadn’t done the same to Ella. “Ella, baby. It’s Mama.” 

Ella slowly raised her head. She was crying, but managed to do so quietly. There was enormous fear in her watery, brown eyes.

Xia wanted to hurt whoever did this. Since she couldn’t hear the men up front through the window that separated them, she hoped they couldn’t hear her and Ella either. 

“Mama,” Ella hiccupped, her tiny hand balled up into a fist, rubbing at her eyes.  

Xia gave her a smile. “That’s right, baby. Mama. Can you come over here to Mama?” 

Ella hesitated a moment and looked in the direction of the men. She sank backwards and shook her head vigorously, too terrified to move from her spot.  

“It’s okay. Come on, baby,” Xia reassured her, trying not to show how scared she was herself.

Ella waited another minute before crawling over to her mother.  

“Carefully. Yep, just like that. You’re doing so good.”  

They hadn’t tied Ella’s wrists and ankles together, which was a relief as Xia’s skin blistered and burned every time she moved. Ella didn’t seem harmed in any way, physically, at least. Xia was comforted to see that unlike undressing her down to her underwear, they had kept Ella in her clothes: her favorite yellow dress with the white daisy on the chest. 

By the third knock, Carolyn was practically banging down the door. When nobody answered still, she used the spare key Xia gave her.

She walked into the apartment and looked around the open space. Neither Xia nor Ella were anywhere she could see. She called out and received no response. She checked the bathroom and found nothing.

Walking back towards the front door, a feeling of unease crawled through her body as she noticed something she hadn’t when she first walked in. Two packed bags were on the ground by the door. Opening each, the larger one held some of Xia’s clothes and toiletries while the smaller one had clothes, diapers, and toys for Ella. These were the bags she meant to bring with them to Carolyn’s place. The older woman stood up, her attention on high alert.

She looked around a second time to see if anything was out of the ordinary. As she searched, she noticed something else she had missed the first time: Xia’s shoes. Xia always claimed she didn’t need many; two good pairs were always more than enough for her. When one pair finally gave out, she tossed and replaced them. For as long as Carolyn had known her, she never had more than two pairs at a time, and both were present. There was nowhere Xia would have willingly gone without shoes.  

That feeling of unease grew stronger, and Carolyn knew something was wrong. She went to the phone to call the police and cried out when she noticed the smeared, bloody handprint on the wall. She hurriedly dialed and listened as it rang once before being answered.  

“911. What’s your emergency?” 

“They’ve been taken! Send someone now, please!” 

25

A fuzzy atmosphere surrounded Xia, and she had never felt more disoriented. She couldn’t see or hear anything, but she could feel a coolness on her skin, as if a cool breeze was blowing past her. She wasn’t sure which way was up, which way was down, or which direction she seemed to be floating in. She wasn’t even certain if she was alive or dead.

The moment she had fallen into this place, whatever it was, and her awareness returned to her, all the memories of everything before started to fill up her head. She remembered being kids, sharing a bed, and how Dicky would caress her skin each night. She remembered pretending to be asleep as he explored her body beneath her nightgown and the first time he attacked her, stealing away something that wasn’t meant to be his. She remembered Daddy beating her when she told him, blaming her for Dicky’s thoughts and actions, and how all Mama did was look away. She remembered the day she finally ran away, leaving with nothing more than a small bag of belongings and no idea how to survive on her own. She remembered being taken advantage of and getting pregnant by the man who gave her a job, and how he fired her when she refused to abort the baby. She remembered meeting Mason and the new, yet familiar, hell he put her through. She remembered Ella with her beautiful, wavy, brown hair in her favorite yellow dress with the little white daisy.

Thinking of Ella, her senses came back and her feet dropped to the ground, the feeling of floating quickly ending. She looked around, but didn’t recognize where she was. The room was small and dark with no doors or windows. There was nothing on the walls and the ceiling was closer to her head than she would have liked. It almost seemed like she was back in the basement, but she knew she wasn’t. She moved her bare feet around trying to figure out what she was standing on. It somehow felt like hard leather beneath her though she couldn’t understand how. She drew in a deep breath, but the air in her lungs felt limited as if there wasn’t enough air to inhale.

A whimper came from behind Xia, startling her. She whipped herself around and found she was looking at a tiny, yellow ball. It uncurled a little and she realized the ball was the body of a small girl.

“Hello?” Xia whispered, unmoving. “Are you okay?”

The round, pouting face raised up and peered over a set of arms gripping a pair of legs pulled up far to the chest.

Dull eyes that had once been bright met Xia’s, and she fell to her knees, emotions swimming through her. Her hands flew to her mouth, and she used them to stifle a scream that threatened to escape her. “Ella?”

A bit of familiarity bloomed in the girl’s expression, but she maintained a strong grip on herself, frightened at being tricked.

“Ella. It’s Mama. It’s Mama, baby.” Xia scooted herself closer, slowly.

“Mama,” the girl whispered back.

Xia smiled. “Ella.”

In an instant, Ella bolted towards Xia and fell into her arms. She was so cold. Her skin seemed too cool. There was something about Ella that felt odd and reminded Xia of a doll she left outside overnight on the porch once when she was younger, but it didn’t matter because Ella was with her. She put worrisome thoughts away and held the daughter she was so ashamed she had forgotten. She freed the tears from her eyes and buried her wet face in Ella’s wavy hair.

Finally, the very last thing Xia remembered popped up. She had been in the basement with Dicky. He had beaten her, but she got away when he knocked himself unconscious. Recalling it all, she regretted not leaving right away. She remembered dying all the times before and understood all the frustration and annoyance Ronnie and Dicky had. She also remembered never truly being gone, and never for very long. She would always come back, as if Death didn’t want her. This was the longest she had ever been dead. Maybe Death was taking a break. She wondered if that meant Ella was dead. The thought made her miserable and she held her daughter ever more closely.

“They got mad at me. They hit me on my head, Mama. Then they got even madder and locked me in here. I’m stuck.” Her bottom lip stuck out and her brown eyes filled with torment.

Xia brushed back a strand of her hair and kissed her on the forehead. Leaning her against her chest, she cooed, “It’s okay, baby. I’m gonna get us out of here.”

“You’re not in here though, Mama. Not really. You don’t fit. Just me. Where are you? Are you stuck somewhere too?”

Her question caused cold shivers to run up and down Xia’s spine. Ella didn’t make any sense. She tried to ask what she meant, but before she could form the words, a strange sensation swirled in her gut and she felt like she was being ripped away.

Ella’s face began to blur, and Xia was losing her grip on her. She tried tightening it, but it didn’t matter how unyielding her hands were, the pull was greater.

“Ella?” Ella!” Xia’s fingers began to pass through Ella’s body and her eyes became dull and lost again, as if she was forgetting Xia was ever there.

Like before, Ella curled herself up into a ball, squeezing her legs so close to her chest that they seemed to mold into one another and become one. Her face buried itself down deep into the crooks of her arms and then, just as suddenly as she appeared, she vanished.  

26

Carolyn bit her nails down to the quick waiting for the police to show. She could taste blood in her mouth, but didn’t lessen her aggressive, nervous chewing. It had been close to 30 minutes since her call to the emergency line and still, she waited, knowing the longer she sat around hoping for them to show, the harder it would be to find Xia and Ella. Wanting to waste no more time, she grabbed her keys and decided she would head to the nearest station instead.

As she went to grab the knob, an authoritative knock shook the door. She swung the door open and faced two officers. One was an older man with alarmingly bright red hair and a matching mustache. His partner was a young woman with jet black hair, too dark to be real, pulled back tightly in a bun and freckles that only seemed to cover her nose. She had a wad of chewing gum in her mouth that she chomped on like a grazing cow.  

“Finally!” Carolyn spoke louder than she intended. She watched as the officers glanced at each other and knew she looked frantic, but she didn’t care how these people perceived her. All she cared about was finding Xia and Ella safe. 

Neither officer apologized for the wait. Instead, the man cleared his throat and introduced himself. “Hi, ma’am. I’m Officer Kirkpatrick and this is my partner, Officer Williams. You called in a possible missing person?”

“Yes! My friend Xia Bray and her young daughter Ella. She’s previously gone by the name Rebecca Brach if that helps any. They were supposed to come spend a few days with me and when they never showed, I called Xia repeatedly, but she never answered. And it’s not like her to not let me know if plans have changed. So, I came here looking for them.” Carolyn spoke so quickly that she had to remind herself to breathe or else she might pass out.

“And?” A sense of non-urgency floated in the air.

“And what? They’re gone!”

“So, this isn’t your apartment?” Officer Williams asked.

“No, it’s theirs, but I have a key. That’s how I was able to get in.” Carolyn held out the key for them to see.

“And what’s your name, ma’am?” Officer Kirkpatrick rested his hands on his utility belt.

“Carolyn Bowman.”

Officer Williams popped her gum and peered over Carolyn’s shoulder into the apartment, impatience in her stance. “May we come in and take a look around?”

Carolyn eagerly swung herself to the side, giving both officers more than enough room to enter. Leaving the door open, one after the other, they walked in and paced throughout the open area.

“What am I missing here?” Officer Kirkpatrick asked, his expression confused.

“I’m sorry?” Carolyn wondered, just as confused.

“To me, this looks like an ordinary apartment.”

“Excuse me, but does that look ordinary to you?” Carolyn practically screamed, rushing over to the wall and pointing fiercely at the bloody handprint.

Officer Kirkpatrick stepped closer to the wall and leaned in closely to examine it. “No. It doesn’t.”

“Exactly!” Carolyn slapped the wall, ignoring the sting it caused her hand. “Something is wrong! Something has happened! We need to find them now!”

“All right, let’s just calm down, ma’am.”

“I will not calm down! Do not treat me like some hysterical old woman!” Carolyn’s blood pressure began to rise even higher and before she could explode more, Officer Kirkpatrick stepped in.

“What my partner means is that we need more information before we can even consider a search and rescue type situation. And it would be extremely helpful to us if you’re as calm as you can be. Are you able to do that? Let’s start with you telling us more about your friend and her daughter.” 

Carolyn explained how she and Xia met first as neighbors. She let them know about the incident with Mason which led them to moving, and despite their age difference, remained close friends. 

“This ex-boyfriend of hers, you think he had anything to do with this?” Officer Kirkpatrick scribbled notes onto a rectangular pad of paper while Officer Williams stood off to the side listening and popping her gum.  

“I would have before, but—”

Pop. Pop. Pop.

“Can you please stop popping that fucking gum!” Carolyn shouted. She normally avoided using harsh language, but in that moment, she didn’t care if she offended anyone.  

The woman’s eyes grew big in surprise and her mouth clamped shut. Her lips curled into an ugly, dramatic frown at the corners. 

“Williams, how about you wait outside for me while I finish up here?” Officer Kirkpatrick suggested. 

Officer Williams pulled her wide eyes away from Carolyn and shrugged, pretending to be unbothered. “Yep.” She brushed past them and left through the front door, slamming it shut behind her. 

“I apologize for my partner. She is still new to all of this, but I will be speaking to her about this later. Please continue with what you were saying. You would have thought it was the ex-boyfriend before, but… what?” 

Carolyn crossed her arms and sighed, trying to pick back up where she had left off. “But after what Xia told me the last time we spoke, I no longer believe he has anything to do with this.” 

“And you last spoke with her when?” 

“Yesterday. Like I said before, her and Ella were supposed to come stay at my place for a while. When she didn’t show, I called her. I called her quite a few times. And when she never answered or called me back, I came here.” 

Officer Kirkpatrick’s pen scratched across the paper. “What did she tell you that makes you think it’s not the ex-boyfriend?”

She repeated the story as Xia told it. She left out the more disturbing details, but insinuated enough for the officer to understand.

“So, her family is possibly involved?” he asked.

Carolyn nodded, dropping her arms to her sides and nervously picking at the frayed edges of her shirt. “Yes. She believed her brother had been following her again, possibly her father too. It worried her. And after everything she told me, I was worried too. Which is why I suggested that they stay with me for a bit.”

“Her brother had followed her before?”

“Yes, when she was still pregnant with Ella. Though I’m not certain if he had intentionally followed her that time or if he had just happened to come across her.” She mindlessly pulled at a loose string until it snapped.

“Uh huh, and do you know where her family lives?”

Carolyn bit her lip and tried to remember if Xia had mentioned that. “Not exactly. The only thing I can remember her telling me was it was an area near Lake Deirdre. They’re woodsy type people. She grew up in a cabin a ways from town.”

“Lake Deirdre,” Officer Kirkpatrick sounded out the name as he wrote it down. “And how old is Ella?”

“She just had her third birthday, but she’s extremely smart for her age. You’d think she was older if you heard her talk. She has wavy brown hair and bright, brown eyes.” Carolyn’s eyes began to water, and her throat began to tighten. She wanted to scream and cry and beg that they be found, but the only thing that managed to come out of her were panicked gasps.

Officer Kirkpatrick stopped writing and looked up, pity in his face. “Everything is going to be okay, Ms. Bowman. Are you able to come down to the station and answer a few more questions? Every bit of information you can provide us will be crucial.” 

“Xia doesn’t have her shoes,” Carolyn muttered, a vacant stare in her eyes. 

“What?”  

“Xia only ever owns two pairs of shoes. Both are here. Wherever they’ve taken her, she has no shoes. I need to make sure I bring her shoes.” She was starting to break down.

Officer Kirkpatrick gently placed his hand on the top of her shoulder. Sadness replaced the pity in his face. “Okay. Grab a pair and then meet us down there when you’re ready.” He snapped a picture before he said goodbye to Carolyn and left.  

“What do you think?” Officer Williams had been pacing not too far from the door. She popped her gum the entire time they made their way back to their patrol cruiser. 

“What I think is that you need to quit the damn gum.” 

Officer Williams rolled her eyes, but spit her gum out before she slid into the passenger seat. 

27

Keeping her eyes closed, Xia woke to the feeling of a thousand hammers pounding into her skull, splitting it open and bashing her brain. She reached up to put pressure on her temples to give herself some relief from the pain, but flinched when she felt cold blood oozing from a gaping wound on the side of her forehead. She remembered Dicky smashing his fist against her head when they had shown up at her apartment, and again in the truck. She didn’t know if his knuckles meeting the same place twice was intentional or if he just got lucky.

Still lying down, she finally opened her eyes. With the soft glow from a fading lantern, she recognized the cold, lifeless space she avoided as a child; it overwhelmed and terrified her. She remembered once when their parents made one of their trips into town, Dicky tricked her into going down and locked her in there until right before they came home. She never forgot the panic, fear, and hate she felt. Those same suffocating emotions started to consume her again and as they boiled inside of her, a realization hit her: she was alone. And she wasn’t thinking about her father or brother.

Ella.

At the very thought of her daughter, she sat up, ignoring the wicked, stabbing pain in her head. Despite everything around her spinning, she focused her vision as best she could. Ella wasn’t in the basement that Xia could see. The endless possibilities of where they could be keeping her, or what they could be doing to her, raced through her mind and her chest tightened. Her lungs felt as if they were twisting and turning inside of her, begging her to inhale, but it took her a few moments before her body finally gave in and she gasped in a mouthful of musty air.

The basement door banged open.

“Well, well, well,” Dicky drawled. “Look what we done caught in our trap: a whore.” The steps creaked beneath Dicky’s weight as he descended.

Xia moved off the mattress and scooted herself all the way back against the wall furthest from him. Trying to keep herself from giving into fear, she reminded herself of Ella. “Where is my daughter? Bring her back to me now!”  

Dicky laughed and the shadows on his face made his already menacing grin even more chilling. He stepped off the stairs and stood right beside the end of the mattress.  

“Dicky, please. Where is she? Let me see her.” Xia’s demands quickly turned into pleas no matter how hard she tried to remain strong. 

“Don’t worry. You and that bastard child of yours will be together soon, if you’re good. She’s up top with Mama havin’ a bite to eat.” 

“Why can’t I hear her? Please let me see that she’s okay,” Xia begged. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t hear her before. She wouldn’t shut the hell up, cryin’ for you, so we told her you were havin’ a little nap. Pop slappin’ her also helped quiet her down.”  

Dread filled Xia at the thought of Ella being hurt and not being able to protect herself. “Dicky, why did you bring us here? I don’t understand what you want.” 

Dicky licked his dry lips and adjusted the waist of his jeans. “You left us. And from what I could see, you haven’t even missed us.”

“You know why I left,” she whispered.  

“Without even saying goodbye.”  

“Can you blame me, Dicky? After all those years, after all that you had done to me, after everything. I was scared every single day of my life here!” Her whisper escalated to a scream. 

Dicky scrunched up his nose and furrowed his bushy eyebrows. He sniffled and his eyes grew glossy. “I loved you.” 

“Brothers don’t love sisters like that. It ain’t right, Dicky. It’s sick.” She immediately regretted that last part as she saw his temper rise. 

“Shut up! Just shut the hell up!” The vein in Dicky’s neck pulsated as he shouted.  

Xia raised her shaking hands. “Okay, Dicky. Please calm down. I just want to see Ella.” 

He ignored her and continued screaming, “You sit there and judge me! But are you proud of yourself? You think you’re better than me? You left and got knocked up. At least I loved you every time I spread your legs, you stupid bitch.” 

Xia didn’t respond. She forced those memories to stay pushed down. If she let them resurface, she would become Rebecca again.  

Dicky laughed. “Ya ain’t got nothin’ to say now, do ya?”

She stayed quiet while his eyes roamed over her body. Every inch of her tensed.

He continued looking her up and down while his tongue wet his chapped lips. “I missed you, Bec.” 

Tears fell from Xia’s eyes and an uneasiness settled in her chest. “Dicky…” she choked out. She wanted to shout at him that she was no longer Rebecca. She wanted to scream that she was no longer a little girl who couldn’t defend herself. But all she could do was sit there wishing she had run farther away. Maybe if she had, she and Ella would be somewhere happy and safe instead of where they were.  

Dicky took a step towards her, his voice dropping almost as if he were muttering to himself, “I missed you a helluva lot.” Then, he ran at her, grabbed her by the shoulders, and threw her back onto the thin mattress.

Xia could feel the hard ground beneath it as she was slammed down.

He pinned his body on top of hers and his full weight felt suffocating. His sweat dripped down on her from his clammy face.

She cringed at the foul-smelling heat escaping his mouth, and the way his grimy tongue tapped on his rotten teeth. It was a habit he had for as long as she could remember.  

A snarl escaped his throat and his face twitched. “You’re not leaving again, Bec.” 

Not caring anymore about looking weak, Xia gave in to her fear and cried. She reached over to the wall and tried pulling herself out from beneath him, but he was too heavy. Her nails tore and bled as she struggled to get herself free of him, but he wouldn’t budge. and she was stuck.

After a bit, she could no longer feel the pressure of his body or the ripping of her nails and fingertips scraping down the wall. Protecting her, her mind began to drift off.

Dicky leaned down to smell her, but the closer he came to her, the further away she drifted. Before she went away completely, a small body jumped onto Dicky’s back and began to beat at him with tiny fists. 

“Leave Mommy alone!” Ella screamed, her punches having no effect whatsoever on the massive man.  

Dicky sat up and, without hesitation, grabbed Ella by her wavy hair and flung her across the room like a rag doll.

Her head slammed into the ground with a thunderous, echoing crack. Her body scraped across the dirt floor and went instantly still.  

“Ella!” Xia screamed. A strength she didn’t have moments before filled her. She rammed her knee as hard as she could into Dicky’s groin. 

He curled into a ball and howled wildly.

She pushed him off her and crawled towards her daughter. When she pulled Ella into her arms, blood from her fractured skull spilled all over Xia. She kept speaking Ella’s name, begging her to wake up, but the little girl stayed unresponsive, and when Xia lowered her head to her chest, sobbing, she could feel the small thud thud thud of her heartbeat slowing. She squeezed her and wailed at the top of her lungs. 

“You stupid bitch and your stupid bitch daughter!” Dicky yelled, still in pain and in a fetal position. He grew quiet as he became aware of why Xia was so upset. “Is she all right?” 

Xia screamed in agony, hatred for Dicky consuming her. Everything he had ever done to her was nothing compared to this moment. She lowered Ella slowly back to the ground, laying her broken head down gently. She stood and faced Dicky, the scowl on her face dripping with rage.

Struggling, hand still cradling between his legs, Dicky got to his feet as well. “What the fuck do you think you’re gonna do, huh?”

She sprinted directly at him. She had no idea what she planned to do, but she couldn’t control her rage and heartbreak. She wanted to tear him to pieces.

Instead, Dicky avoided her attack, causing her to run into the wall.

Xia bounced off, as if the wall were made of rubber, and turned back around to run at him again.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her down, though not as easily as he had done the first time. He sat on her stomach, doing his best to constrain her flailing body.

The organs inside of her threatened to burst from being pressed down by so much weight, but she didn’t feel any of it. 

“Stop it, god dammit!” Dicky growled at her.

She wasn’t able to do much like before, and even though her fingernails were barely hanging on, she scratched at him. She scratched his face, his arms, his neck, and any other area she could reach and draw blood. 

He pushed her arms to her sides and pinned them against her with his thick legs.

She forced her legs up and kneed his back again and again, but it didn’t deter him at all.  

“Stop it right now!” he yelled, annoyed, bringing his calloused hands to her face and neck. His fingers slid down and wrapped themselves around her throat. It was so thin, one hand could cover it completely with ease. He squeezed as she continued to fight him, but as his grip increased, her body became weaker.

Losing the ability to breathe made fighting difficult. She tried to concentrate on getting him off her, but it was impossible to focus on anything other than her eyes popping from her skull and her lungs bursting in her chest. She stared up at her brother. The young boy she had once known stared back down at her as a man who lost his humanity long ago. She closed her eyes, not wanting his face to be the last she ever saw, and sank into the memory of the day Ella was born. She remembered the love she felt that day as Dicky crushed her throat even tighter.

Darkness closed in around Xia as she died for the very first time.  

28

Xia sprang forward, gasping for air, her throat feeling like acid had been poured down it. Her hands flew to her neck and batted away a threat that was no longer there. Her last memory was that of Dicky’s hands crushing her windpipe and ending her life.

“What the everloving shit?” Dicky scrambled backwards, trying to stand on his feet, but falling over them as he tried to get away from her.

They were still in the basement; Ronnie was there with them.

Pointing a shaking finger at her, Dicky screamed, “You were dead!” A look of complete disbelief contorted his facial features, making his expression look constipated. He looked over at Ronnie. “Swear to God, she was dead!”

Before Ronnie could say anything, Xia glared at Dicky, the fury from before boiling back up, and through an aching throat, she choked out, “You fucking bastard!”

Dicky shook his head, still in denial of what he was seeing, and repeated, “You were dead.”

“Well, she obviously ain’t dead, is she?” Ronnie spat, not sure what to believe.

“She was dead,” Dicky whispered, mostly to himself, almost looking through Xia.

“Shut the hell up already!” Ronnie shouted.

Dicky clamped his mouth shut and ran his hands over his face.

“Why does he keep saying that? I don’t understand. I’m not dead!” Xia’s confusion was starting to frustrate her, but also Ronnie.

“God dammit, let me think!”

“About what? Your stupid son keeps shouting that I was dead, but here I am, not dead. So can you tell me what the hell you need to think about?” Xia hollered, her head throbbing and throat burning. Any fear she had had was now replaced with misery and resentment.

Ignoring her, Ronnie turned to face Dicky. “Go get some of that rope from the crate underneath the kitchen tub.”

Moving too slowly, his focus still fixed on Xia, Ronnie shoved Dicky towards the stairs impatiently, and yelled at him to hurry up.

With that, Dicky spun around and ran up the thirteen steps two at a time, cursing as he almost landed on one of the nails poking out through the wood.

“What are you gonna do?” Xia asked, though she knew the answer.

Ronnie stayed quiet while they waited for Dicky to return.

“Can I see my daughter? She was hurt bad. Please tell me she’s okay. Where did you take her?”

Her questions went in one of Ronnie’s ears and out the other and he just stared at her as if he were trying to figure out what language she was speaking.

Then, both of their attentions were drawn away when Dicky’s heavy footsteps came barreling back down the stairs. 

He held out the rope, but instead of taking it, Ronnie waved it away and commanded, “Tie her up. I’m still tryin’ to figure out what in the hell to do and I’ll be damned if she takes off runnin’.”

Xia scooted back quickly, swatting at the rope as Dicky swung it around, antagonizing her. “Please, don’t! I won’t, I promise.” But she knew that if given the chance, she would run like hell, and by the looks on their faces, they knew it too.

Ronnie studied her and grunted. He turned back to Dicky and muttered, “Tie her up tight.”

“Daddy, please!” she screamed at Ronnie as he sauntered up the stairs.

He paused at the top, his back still facing her. Before he walked through and slammed the door shut behind him, he announced loudly to her, “Your bastard kid is dead.”

A scream crawled its way up from the pits of Xia’s stomach, through her chest, and clawed its way out through her throat. It escaped and she wailed with an agony so massive and so full of anguish.

All that remained down there with her and Dicky were the shadows that danced in the dim light and the rope he ran through his fingers.

The torment she had for Ella had her so numb to the fear she should have been feeling for herself.

“Just you and me again,” he whispered. “How did you do it?”

“Do what?” She knew he was bringing up what he had been so distressed about before. She wasn’t sure exactly what happened, but it didn’t matter. All she wanted was to keep him talking at a distance for as long as possible. Whether she was alive or dead, she needed to find Ella.

Instead, he took a hurried step towards her and grabbed her by the back of the neck, forcing her to stand. Her tender body howled as she was, once again, thrown down onto the sorry excuse for a bed and her face was pressed into the scratchy mattress, the soiled sheet having been ripped off during their previous struggle.

While she squirmed around on her stomach, he sat on the back of her legs, took hold of her arms, and pulled them behind her aggressively and wrapped her wrists with the rope. Despite how much she fought, she couldn’t compete with his overwhelming strength. Her skin burned as he knotted the rope, pulling it as tightly as he could without snapping her wrists.

He then moved down to her ankles, caressing her skin as he went, his rough fingers sending tremors of terror throughout her. He groaned as he felt her tense at his touch and she wasn’t sure if it was a sound of humiliation or pleasure. Once she was completely bound, he rolled her over onto her back and brought his face down to hers.

His rancid breath, regardless of how many times she had to endure it, made her want to gag.

“How did you do it?” he asked, saliva forming at the corners of his mouth like a rabid animal. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She tried moving her face to the side, but he gripped her chin firmly and forced it back to peer up at him.

“Don’t fucking lie to me! I killed you! How did you do it?” The spit started to fly from his mouth, spraying her.

She tried keeping it from flying into her own mouth and squeezed her eyes shut. “Dicky, please!” she begged, trying to keep herself from sobbing. “Maybe I was unconscious. Maybe it was just a mistake.”

“Only one way to find out.” He took the remaining portion of rope and wrapped it around her neck. “I need to find out. I need to know.” With both hands, he pulled.

Xia instinctively went to reach for the rope and tear it away, but with her hands tied behind her, all she could do was thrash around.  

Shockingly, tears filled Dicky’s eyes as hers threatened to burst from her head.

His confused and horrific face began to blur in front of her as he increased his pressure on the pull of the rope. Her eyelids fluttered and her body began to soften as her life weakened.

“I love you, Rebecca,” he moaned as he killed her a second time. 

29

Xia clawed her way to the surface of the grave, her already broken nails scraping against the soft earth and filling with dirt. She climbed as quickly as she could, worried she would die again of suffocation before she got the chance to get out. She gasped for air as her head pushed through the barrier between death and life.

Dying and coming back was a bit of a shock at first, but by then, it almost felt natural. While below ground, as consciousness returned, the memories of everything before rushed back to her. The throbbing pain of suffering flowing through her wanted her to remain in the hole, but the vision she had of Ella reminded her why she couldn’t give in to defeat.

It didn’t take her long to remove herself from the hole; the freshly dug soil was easy to move through. As the last part of her body escaped from the grave, she knelt at the edge to breathe and figure out what she would do next. She refused to ever die at their hands again. As she sat and thought, not wanting to take too long of a time and risk one of them finding her, her eyes roamed all around her. The sky above was bright and warmed her skin, encouraging the strength building up inside of her. She saw a set of shovels, ones she assumed Dicky and Ronnie used to bury her and, leaning against the house beside them, was a pair of very large gardening shears.

She got to her feet, her legs a little shaky beneath her, but with each step forward, anger and determination made her stronger. She still wore the nightgown Madgey helped her change into, but it was no longer clean and white like before. It was stained in various shades of red, brown, and yellow, and smelled powerfully of blood, urine, and feces.

Treading carefully and quietly, she picked up the shears. They weren’t as heavy as she anticipated, and despite the amount of rust covering them, they opened and closed easily.

Peering around the side of the cabin, she saw and heard nothing unsusal. She walked around the corner and took a few steady steps, pausing each time something crunched loudly under her feet. When she reached the window above the kitchen sink tub, she peeked inside and saw Madgey sitting by herself at the dining table, her back to the window. Ronnie and Dicky weren’t anywhere in the house that Xia could see. She wondered if they went into town to have a drink when she heard their voices coming from the front porch.

“Hold on a minute, I gotta take a shit before we leave.” Ronnie belched, already intoxicated.

She ducked below the windowsill, out of sight, and heard him stumble back through the front door.

“Well hurry the hell up. I wanna celebrate already!” Dicky hollered after him, followed by his own wet burp. He then mumbled to himself, “I gotta piss.” 

Knowing Dicky preferred peeing near the bushes on the side of the house where she was, she rushed over to hide within their thick branches, crouching down just before he stepped off the porch. She ignored the cuts each one gave her as she settled on the balls of her feet, her body still as a statue. Worms and bugs squirmed around her toes as they sank into the soil, securing her position.

Booming footsteps grew closer and even if Xia hadn’t already known it was Dicky, his heavy mouth breathing would have given him away. He stopped directly in front of her, and she held her breath and begged her body to maintain its stillness.

After a few seconds, Dicky unzipped his pants and the familiar sound of him urinating filled the air.

The hot, putrid smell wafted towards her, and she grimaced, knowing he had pleasurably covered her in it before. Looking through the gaps in the bushes, she could see the bottom half of Dicky, his pants almost all the way to his ankles, his unwashed dick in his greasy hands. Having no real plan, she tightly gripped the handles of the shears. Widening them as silently as she could, she thrusted the open blades forward and before he got the opportunity to react, she furiously squeezed them shut again.

Dicky’s scummy, wrinkled penis was snipped clean off and landed in his jeans at his feet, a river of blood draining from the open wound. A mutilated sound of horror escaped Dicky until he saw Xia step out into the open. His scream caught in his chest and no more noise came out.

She stood tall as he shrank.  

Clutching at his hemorrhaging groin, he tried his best to walk backwards away from her, but his pants made it difficult to move.

For the first time, Xia wasn’t afraid of this miserable, shitty man, he was afraid of her. 

“Rebecca…” Dicky whispered. His wide, disbelieving eyes bored into Xia.

Before he was able to finish, she drove the shears upward with all of her might, pushing them through the bottom half of his jaw and out through the top of his head. The crack of the blades breaking his skull echoed and sent a satisfying chill up and down her body.

His facial expression went completely blank as his meager life faded. His hands dropped from his dismembered genitals, and he collapsed to the ground.  

Without waiting, Xia took hold of the shear handles and placed one of her bare feet against his head as leverage to remove the blades. She pulled and after two forceful yanks, they slid from his skull. She stared down at him and watched a centipede crawl into his mouth and wiggle its way back out through the enormous gash, clicking its pinchers together as if cheering for such a score. The centipedes that constantly caused a stir in her belly cheered along with it. 

Wiping the blades clean on her nightgown, Xia turned back to the house. She cracked her neck and bared her teeth, preparing herself for what came next.  

30

Carolyn pulled up to the police station in shock as she saw how many people were currently going in and out of the double doors at the front of the building. It took her longer than she was hoping to find a spot thanks to the parking lot being packed with cars. Once she finally found one, she put her car into park and sat there trying to catch her breath. The situation began to set in for her and she was on the verge of breaking down, but she knew if she ever wanted to find Xia and Ella, she couldn’t let herself become overwhelmed with emotions. She took one big breath and held it before releasing it, helping to clear her head.

She switched off the engine and climbed out of the car. After her disappointment with the officers who came to Xia’s apartment, she decided on the drive over she wouldn’t leave until someone took her seriously. Officer Kirkpatrick seemed harmless, but he didn’t seem to take her concerns to heart the way she expected him to. Officer Williams didn’t seem to care at all. None of that sat right with her. Gripping her purse string, she pulled it up higher onto her shoulder and strutted towards the large doors.

A burly man waited to hold the door open for her as he was leaving.

She thanked him as she walked through and was hit by a wall of noise. The small bit of confidence she had coming in started to evaporate. Before it got the chance to dissolve completely, she shoved her way through the crowd.

There were two officers sitting at a wide desk. One was talking with people as they came and went while the other answered the phones.

“Excuse me,” Carolyn spoke, her voice barely audible over the others.

A blonde officer with the sleek ponytail held up an index finger as she answered a call. “I’ll patch you through,” she responded, pushing a button before hanging up.

“I wanted to talk to someone about—”

The phone rang again, interrupting Carolyn.

“One second,” the officer mumbled, picking the receiver up again.

Carolyn sighed, looking towards the second officer, a balding middle-aged man with navy eyeglasses. He was being hassled by a crying woman who looked like she was about to start screaming at any moment. Carolyn figured she wouldn’t be getting anywhere any time soon with either of these two.

Feeling defeated and frustrated, she turned away from the desk and debated leaving and calling instead seeing as they certainly answered their phones.

Then, a familiar voice asked, “Miss Bowman?” Officer Kirkpatrick stood with a stack of paperwork in his hands. “I was curious when you would be heading in.”

Carolyn pressed her lips together. She really wanted to speak to someone else, but with the chaos at the front desk only increasing, she knew her only option stood before her. “I want to know that you’re going to do everything you can to find Xia and Ella. I want to know that you’re going to take this as seriously as I am. I need to know that this matters to you.” Her voice threatened to break, but her words still came out strong.

Officer Kirkpatrick stared at her, a change in his eyes giving her a sense of reassurance. “Follow me and let’s come up with a plan.” 

31

Xia left Dicky’s butchered body without even so much as a glance back at it. Any love she had for her brother died a long time ago. She had been full of nothing but hatred for so many years, she felt relief he could no longer stroke his filthy hands all over her.

She knew there was only one way she would have any chance of sneaking up on Ronnie. With Madgey sitting at the dining table, she couldn’t go through the front door without losing the element of surprise. Even with the energy surging inside her after what she did to Dicky, she was not strong enough to fight off Ronnie without catching him off guard.

Stopping at the small square door she escaped from before, she mentally prepared herself to trudge back through pounds of shit a second time to reach Ronnie. She slowly opened the heavy wooden door and the smell that hit her was even more terrible than before, but even the smell couldn’t convince her against what she had planned.

Feet first, as quietly as she could, she crawled in. The sludgy shit felt even thicker than before. She held the shears above the surface of the disgusting mess and pushed her way through until she was below the hole where Ronnie sat.

His body blocked most of the light except for a tiny bit shining between his legs.

She could see his gaping asshole from where she stood, and her stomach turned wildly. Chunks of vomit rose in her throat, burning all the way up, but she swallowed it all back down before they could reach the insides of her mouth. Her belly centipedes crawled excitedly through her insides and made the vomit want to rise again. She closed her eyes and let images of Ella race across her mind, settling her stomach, and instead, churning a savage energy that began to quickly overtake her.  

A growl unfurled from the bottom of Xia’s diaphragm and grew into a monstrous roar as she grasped the shear handles tightly and thrusted the blades up and into Ronnie

He let out a noise that sounded almost inhuman and Xia couldn’t help releasing a laugh as his blood and shit rained down on her from above, listening to his absolute agony. 

Madgey hurried into the bathroom. “Ronnie! What happened?” 

“The bitch! She stuck me! She’s in the shit again!” Ronnie yelled between howls of pain. 

Madgey didn’t say anything, and Xia imagined the dumb look plastered on her face and had to cover her mouth to hide another laugh. 

“Go! She’s down there!” Ronnie tried to stand, but the shears kept him from doing so.

Good, Xia thought. She wanted him to stay exactly where he was.

“Go, god dammit!” he screamed louder. 

Madgey finally did what she was told and ran from the bathroom.

Xia made her way back to the door and crawled out, digging her fingers into the dirt as she pulled herself free. Once on her feet, she raced around to the side of the house opposite of where she left Dicky, hoping Madgey wouldn’t choose the same side. Pressing her body up against the wall, she waited and listened.

The front door slammed and Madgey rushed across the porch. The scream the old woman let out said she found Dicky.

Xia knew that was her only opportunity to get to Ronnie before Madgey ran back inside. Tiptoeing to the front door, she walked inside and heard him whimpering pathetically. Xia walked through the kitchen trying to find anything she could use. As she searched, she came upon a knife lying in the kitchen sink. It wasn’t nearly as big or intimidating as the shears, but if Ronnie stayed stuck, it would be more than enough. She gripped it tightly and as she prowled to the bathroom, one of the wooden planks beneath her feet creaked.

Ronnie’s groans became quiet. “Madge?” he asked, sounding spooked.  

Xia stood at the edge of the doorway, out of sight, letting the silence build into terror for Ronnie. She wanted him to feel fear of her the way she feared him all of her life. 

“Madge?” he asked again.

She could tell by the crack in his voice he knew it wasn’t Madgey standing outside the door.

As she stepped into the frame, his eyes opened wide, and a mixture of shock and horror swam in them.

Without giving him the chance to react, she rushed forward and plunged the knife into this chest where she imagined a black void was in place of a heart. She twisted the blade left and right, his fingers reaching up and gripping her hand on the handle, but doing nothing to stop her from rotating the blade.

After she felt satisfied, she ripped the knife back out.

A disturbing wet noise came from the stab wound as blood squirted out gruesomely and his sunburnt skin grew paper white. More blood spilled from his mouth as he coughed, sending crimson spit flying in her direction.

Ronnie stared up at Xia, a curious expression on his face, then gurgled the word, “Fuck,” before he toppled over. 

The shears he was impaled with kept him from falling off the toilet. His dead body dangled forward awkwardly.

Xia had lost all love and trust for Ronnie. He stopped being her Daddy long ago and was only the mean bastard she always knew him to be. A sense of relief washed over her knowing neither he nor Dicky could put any more hurt into the world. They were dead, and unlike Xia, they wouldn’t ever come back. 

32

Madgey ran back inside, her leaden feet pounding on the floor. “Ronnie! It’s Dicky! He’s… he’s dead!”

Not caring to hide or sneak anymore, Xia stepped out into the hall. Layered in blood, dirt, sweat, and shit, she faced her mother.

Madgey stared in horror. “Rebecca,” she whispered, trembling. “What did you do?” 

“What did I do?” Xia screamed, spittle spewing from her mouth. “Why is it always what I’ve done? Why is it never what they’ve done? And what about you, huh? What have you done? Nothing! Always nothing! Stop fucking crying!” 

Madgey shut up and bit her lip to keep herself silent as she watched Xia wave the knife around wildly. 

“Where is Ella?” Xia asked, exhausted, wanting to just drop to her knees, but she couldn’t rest. Not yet. 

Madgey didn’t answer. 

“Where?” Xia pointed the knife at the woman’s large chest. 

Madgey released her lip from her teeth, a bit of blood trickling down. “You already know.” 

And she did. “The basement…” 

Madgey nodded and started to cry again, sucking her lip back in between her teeth and pressing down to suppress her sobs. 

Xia nodded to one of the chairs. “Sit down.” 

Madgey hesitated, then walked over to the closest chair and plopped down, making the seat groan beneath her butt. 

“Don’t move.”

There was more rope beneath the sink. It looked to be the same kind of rope used to tie Xia up. She walked to grab it, keeping her attention on Madgey the whole while. She knelt behind the chair, laying the knife down on the ground next to her, and ordered Madgey to put her hands behind her back. Grabbing them, Xia wrapped the rope around her wrists and tied them tightly together. Remembering to pick the knife back up before she went around to kneel in front, Xia then repeated the same process with Madgey’s ankles.  

Madgey watched, not fighting back at all, and whispered, “You should kill me too.” 

Wondering what was going through her mother’s mind, Xia asked, “Why?” 

“Just… Please kill me. Ronnie and Dicky were both nasty sons of bitches, but they were my family and without them…” her sentence went unfinished. 

Tears welled up in Xia’s eyes and a coldness froze her chest. “So, what about me then? What about Ella? Are we not your family?” 

Madgey choked on a whimper that stuck in her throat. She cleared it and through staggering breaths, said, “No, you ain’t. And neither was she.” 

33

Officer Williams rolled her eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh. She unwrapped a piece of spearmint gum and shoved the stick into her mouth. Leaning in closer to her partner, she whispered, “We haven’t found any signs of either of them, Kirkpatrick, and Lord help them, but I don’t think we’re gonna.”

Officer Kirkpatrick didn’t respond, though he was beginning to think the same thing. He stared at Carolyn who stood a few feet away from them with a large paper map laid out on the hood of their cruiser, red marks crossing out every area they had already searched.

Without looking up, Carolyn pointed at an unmarked spot and declared, “This is the only place left that we have yet to look at. After that…” Her eyes were full of anguish, knowing there was nowhere left after that.

“Carolyn—” Officer Kirkpatrick began.

Carolyn stood up straight and crossed her arms. “Stop. I already know what you’re going to say, but I need to find them, and I need you to help me.”  

A pang of pity swelled up inside Officer Kirkpatrick's stomach. “It's just that…we are gonna start running out of resources soon.” 

“Which we didn’t have a lot of in the first place,” Officer Williams interrupted. 

Kirkpatrick shot her a glare, but she didn’t notice. “The department can only allow us to continue this for so long before they decide to pull the plug completely and leave us unable to do anything else that would make any difference.”

“I mean, we’re the last ones even looking!” Williams threw her hands up into the air and chewed her gum infuriatingly.

Carolyn nodded, running her hands through her hair. She pulled it back into a messy bun, graying flyaways framing her exhausted face. “I know.” 

Officer Kirkpatrick’s heart hurt for the woman, but there were only so many things he had control over, and continuing lengthy searches for missing people who left hardly any clues behind was certainly not one. “Listen, let’s head to that area and give it one last shot today. If we don’t find anything, we will head back, and I will talk to the heads above me to see what our next options could be.”

“Okay,” Carolyn agreed, knowing her only other choice was to give up and head back home now and that wasn’t something she was ready to do.  

They all climbed into the patrol car and headed towards the wood Carolyn suggested was their last real hope to explore and she silently prayed they weren’t met with yet again another dead end.  

34

Xia pushed herself up off her knees and stood, her hands clenched at her sides, fingernails digging into her palms. “How can you say that?”

“Because it’s the truth.” Madgey bowed her head and sighed.

“You’re my mother!” Xia screamed, a mixture of hatred and heartbreak swirling inside of her.

“No, Rebecca, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are! Why are you saying this?”

Raising her head, eyes locked onto Xia’s, Madgey said, “Listen to me, dammit! I’m not saying this because I wish I wasn’t your mama. I’m saying it because I am not. Do you understand me? I never gave birth to you! You did not come from my body, girl! Are you hearing me?” With each word, Madgey’s voice grew louder and her face turned red.

“You’re lying…” Xia wasn’t sure if she didn’t believe what she was hearing or if she just didn’t want to.

“After we had Dicky, your daddy and I… well, I guess not your real daddy… we tried to have another. After two years of trying, around Dicky’s third birthday, it still hadn’t happened. Ronnie blamed me for being broken because, of course, he couldn’t accept it might be his pecker that wasn’t working right. But, deep down, I knew he wasn’t wrong. I was the broken one. I got so terribly sad, and that sadness ate at me until I thought I would disappear completely. Then one day, it finally did happen. I felt life grow inside of me again and it grew and grew. But then, one day while we were in town doing our normal monthly errands, I began to cramp. The grocer came up behind me to offer a hand and that’s when they noticed the blood. Though I had planned on birthing at home like I had with Dicky, they rushed me to the nearby hospital.” Tears ran down Madgey’s cheeks as she spoke and every few words would get caught in her throat as she became overwhelmed by the emotions her story brought up in her.

Xia let her have a silent moment, hoping she would continue, and she did.

“I lost the baby that day. While I had been shopping, Ronnie had been at the bar even though the bastard had Dicky with him, so he didn’t know what had happened. I was released almost as soon as I was admitted. Once the baby was out of me, they didn’t want poor trash like me taking up a bed that could be filled by someone who could pay their bill. On my way out, that’s when I saw you.” Madgey smiled up at Xia. “You were in a bassinet right next to the nurse’s station all wrapped up like a little doll. I saw the nurse turn to get something out of their medical closet and something came over me. I scooped you up and as I walked off the floor and down to the front doors, I held you close to me and walked out of the hospital. No one questioned me. And I kept walking, despite the bleeding and discomfort I felt, until I reached the bar. I walked in and saw Ronnie at the bar, little Dicky on a stool right next to him. I walked up to him and held you out for him to see.” 

“Did you tell him?” Xia asked. 

“No,” Madgey admitted, shamefully. “At the time, I thought it was because I didn’t have the heart to tell him, but I think it was because I didn’t have the courage to admit to myself what actually happened. He chugged another beer to celebrate before we headed back home.” The older woman closed her eyes and her bottom lip shook. “I have loved you every day since then, Rebecca. You were my daughter in all ways that were important. I’m sorry that Ronnie and Dicky were always horrible and that they did all those things to you. And I am so sorry for what they did to that perfect angel of yours.” Madgey let out a roaring sob.

Xia listened without much interruption until the mention of Ella. “No, she is fine. Ella is fine.”

“I don’t think so. She ain’t like you. I’m not sure how you keep comin’ back, but that girl of yours can’t do that.” 

Xia shook her head aggressively. “No. No! I saw her! I saw her. She’s like me. She’s fine!” She began pacing and muttering to herself, the knife still held tightly in her hand. The violence that filled her before with Dicky and Ronnie was starting to boil back up again. 

“Rebecca…” Madgey let out a sigh of pity. 

The sound of her dead name was like nails on a chalkboard. “Stop fucking calling me that! My name is Xia. I haven’t been Rebecca for a long time. And from what you just told me, I was never truly your Rebecca anyway.” 

Madgey gave a pathetic half-smile and said, “Honey, you’ll always be my Rebecca to me.” 

Xia’s overflowing anger and resentment fueled a scream that started from the soles of her feet and pushed itself through her body and out of her cavernous mouth.

The older woman’s eyes doubled in size as she watched the girl she raised as her own pull back the hand that held the knife and thrust it forward at her. The blade made its way through her eye socket, the orb bursting, and into her skull.

Xia yanked the blade out from Madgey’s head and drove it straight into her thick neck.

A wet, gurgling sound came from Madgey’s throat and her remaining eye released a single tear before it rolled upwards.

Xia removed the knife one last time and Madgey’s lifeless head flopped forward, the only thing keeping her from falling off the chair were the ropes that tied her to it.  

The sound of the knife hitting the floor was deafening in the still room. Xia fell down, her kneecaps connecting with the wooden floor, as an overwhelming grief came over her. Unlike Dicky and Ronnie, she had felt some degree of love from Madgey. A love that Madgey tried to give the only ways she knew how. She wouldn’t ever mourn Dicky and Ronnie, but she couldn’t help but weep for the woman she had once called Mama.

Wiping snot from her nose, the smell of shit and blood hit her and everything that happened, everything she had been through, finally sank in for her. Xia charged to the kitchen sink and dry heaved violently into the basin. Once her stomach stopped clenching and bile no longer rose into her throat, she took deep, calming breaths to keep herself from being overtaken by the sensation again. Her throat screamed in agony.

Once she felt settled again, she went to rinse out the sink and remembered it didn't have running water; they would fill it with a bucket of water from the nearby lake. She wanted to be reunited with Ella, but she didn't want her daughter seeing her the way she was and the thought of taking a quick bath in the lake sounded like a good idea.

Xia walked the quarter mile back to the lake she crawled out of not too long before. Passing by the tree that reminded her of butterscotch candies, a disgusting taste came alive in her mouth at the memory of Dicky’s special treat for her.

When she reached the edge, where the lapping water met the dry earth and pebbles, she stepped in and kept moving forward until her whole body was submerged. She ran her hands over her skin and scrubbed at the layers of foulness. She soaked and rinsed out her dress and hair, trying to remove as much of the filth from herself as she could. When she finished, she relaxed and laid back, allowing herself to float and stare up at the sky, remembering what happened right before she woke up in that exact same spot on the edge of the lake with no memory. 

After she and Ella had been taken, they were kept down in the basement for a while. She wasn’t sure exactly how long it was; time was impossible to keep track of down there.

During one of the days Ronnie and Dicky left the house, after Dicky pushed Ella down, Madgey brought Xia up to the ground level to eat. At that time, Xia didn’t know what had come of Ella or where they were keeping her, but she knew her only chance of saving either of them was to somehow get out and find someone. Anyone.

Madgey never tied Xia up the way Ronnie and Dicky did and when Madgey's back was turned, Xia had taken the chance and rushed for the front door. It opened effortlessly and she raced through it and didn't look back, so she couldn’t see the look of disbelief on Madgey's face when she whipped around at the sound of the door banging open.

Ignoring her aching, beaten body, Xia ran through the woods. It had been so long since she had been home, she got turned around and forced herself to stop for a moment, taking in her surroundings. She refused to let herself panic, even with her head pounding like a drum. Before she became too lost, she listened for the river. She could hear faint sounds of the flowing water coming from her left; it was close. She sighed with relief. She knew if she could reach the water, she could follow it. After a while, it would lead her close to town.  

But she didn’t get so lucky. She had taken no more than a few steps when a growling voice yelled out behind her.

“Where in the fuck do you think you’re going?” Dicky stood a few yards away holding a shotgun, a dumb look plastered on his face.  

"Fucking shoot her! We can’t let her get away now, dammit!" Ronnie's voice blared out as he came lumbering towards where Dicky stood like a confused statue. 

Xia quickly turned and took off running in the direction of the river, praying she would make it.

A shotgun blast echoed through the trees and barely missed her.

She pushed forward faster, hearing the two of them stampeding towards her, shouting out threats. She wasn't sure what she would do once she reached the water, but as it came into view, she quickly decided to get across as fast as possible to put as much space between them as she could, and find somewhere to hide so they would turn back around and head in another direction in search of her.

As she paused at the riverbank considering the best way to get across, another blast escaped the shotgun. That time, it didn’t miss its mark. Blood soaked through her tank top and dripped down her stained panties.

Her instincts pushed her to keep going. She took staggering steps into the water and forgot how wide and deep parts of the river were. Slipping on a slimy rock, she toppled over into the rushing, cool stream. Instead of floating, she sank beneath the surface and felt herself being pulled further and further away, until she lost all consciousness.

When Xia woke up on the lake side after that, far from where she had been shot, without any memory of anything before, she had no wound. Her entire center should have been completely obliterated, but instead, she only had bruising and bloody clothing as evidence that anything had even happened at all. By the time her rope burns healed, after she made the mistake of seeking refuge back at the place she escaped, the bruising on her stomach was also gone. That’s when the terror and torture began again. 

Pulling herself from that memory, she got out of the lake and let the sun rays dry her. The warmth felt soothing, and she let herself stand there, soaking in the sun.  

After a few minutes, she walked back to the cabin, feeling safe in the fact the three bodies she left there wouldn't animate back to life the way she could. Still feeling a strong fear of being locked in the basement, she hesitated in the door frame before summoning the courage to take the 13 steps down into it. The thought of finding and saving Ella took that courage even further. 

35

As Xia’s bare feet touched the dirt floor, she wondered how many times she had hoped it would be the last time they ever did. Stepping quietly, even though there was no one to hear her, she walked around to the small patch of soft earth beneath the stairs.

She knelt down and touched her palm to the ground. It felt cold and she was frightened as to what she would find. Though she told Madgey she knew Ella was just fine, doubt crept up in the back of her mind. After a moment, using only her hands, she moved her fingers through the dirt, her fingernails getting packed with grime as she scraped her way through. She didn't have to dig far before her fingertips met a firm surface. It felt like the same type of wooden crate that sat next to the mattress.

They buried Ella in a grave no more than a few inches deep, clearly caring only enough to make sure she was disposed of and out of sight.

Spreading the dirt wildly around, it took Xia only a few minutes to expose the entire top of the large crate lid she knew she’d find her daughter’s body in. She stayed motionless, staring, afraid of Madgey being right and opening the box to find that Ella was, indeed, nothing at all like her. However, the vision she had of Ella when she herself had been buried felt so real and so true that she couldn't help but believe Ella was exactly like her.    

Xia grabbed the sides of the lid, the only thing separating her from her daughter, and lifted it up and set it to the side.

There she was. Her beautiful, brown haired little beauty in her favorite yellow dress with the daisy on the chest.

And as Xia stared down at her, Ella stared back with wide, unblinking brown eyes.  

"Ella."  

"Mama…" Ella said, though her deep purple and brown lips seemed to barely move. She slowly sat up, cautiously gazing around, the back of her head still caked in her dried blood.  

"It's okay, baby. It’s just me. It’s Mama. No one's gonna hurt you again." Xia's voice cracked at the memory of Ella ever being hurt at all. She held back the desire to sob, wanting to maintain a calm energy for Ella, even if she was frenzied inside.

"Mama," Ella said again, this time crawling her way out of the box and into Xia's lap, curling herself into a ball. Her body felt stiff.

Xia rubbed her little arms and legs gently. "That's right, baby. Mama’s here." She held her daughter's small body close to hers, her cheek resting against Ella's forehead, and stood up, feeling the strongest she had in a very long time. "Let's go home."  

36

"Wait! There's something over there!" Carolyn shouted from the back seat. Something was moving out from the tree line up ahead and in Carolyn's heart, she instantly knew. "Stop the car!”

Officer Kirkpatrick slammed on the brakes and before he could put the cruiser into park, Carolyn was banging on the window demanding to be let out. Kirkpatrick hurried out of the driver seat and opened the back door.

Carolyn scrambled out, stepping on Officer Kirkpatrick's foot as she hurried past him. She heard him curse, but didn't slow down as he yelled at her to wait. She didn't stop running, her aging knees threatening to give out on her, until she stood directly in front of Xia, who held Ella’s tiny body in her arms.

Both Officers Kirkpatrick and Williams quickly caught up to them and exchanged looks of disbelief at the sight of Xia and Ella.

Officer Kirkpatrick moved off to the side to call dispatch for an ambulance. He gave their location and confirmation was radioed back to him.

"Xia," Carolyn managed to finally say, reaching her wrinkled hand out, cupping her friend’s cheek.

"I got us out of there, Carolyn. They hurt us both so bad but they're never gonna hurt us again. I made sure of that. They’ll never hurt anyone again.” Xia was looking at Carolyn, but she had a faraway look in her eyes.

"Okay, sweetie. We're gonna get you out of here, okay?”

They heard sirens in the distance.

Xia nodded, squeezing Ella closer to her, the lower half of her face nestled softly in her hair, afraid of being separated from her daughter ever again.

Officer Williams, for once, wasn't popping her gum. Instead, her mouth was wide open in shock while Kirkpatrick just stared in awe.

Carolyn led Xia to the ambulance as it pulled up behind the patrol cruiser.

The paramedics assisted her onto a stretcher and into the back of the transport.

She began to cry out and kick when they attempted to pull Ella from her arms.

“Stop!” Officer Kirkpatrick yelled. “Just…just let her hold on to her.”

The paramedics gave him an odd look, but shrugged and left the child with her mother. The one who sat in the back gave Carolyn a hand into the seat next to the stretcher and the driver closed the doors behind them.

Both officers watched the ambulance drive away, both still in some level of shock at what happened. Neither said a thing as they climbed into their cruiser and headed back to the station. 

Knowing she was finally safe and reunited with her daughter, Xia suddenly became very tired. The movement of the vehicle made her eyelids heavy. Clinging tightly to Ella, Carolyn’s hand resting on her arm while the paramedic worked on her as best as he could, she fell into a deep sleep.  

37

Dr. Garcia-Martinez pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. She stared at the young woman sitting before her whose facial expression was just as vacant as the day she first met her.

Rebecca was fourteen years old when she was admitted to East River Mental Health Facility. She had been found wandering aimlessly along the highway by an older woman by the name of Carol Linboman, covered in blood, but not her own.

When the two officers who had been called to the scene, Officer K. Patricks and Officer W. Liams, arrived, Rebecca was wrapped in a bright yellow blanket adorned with white daisies.

Ms. Linboman explained to the officers that she had made the blanket for her daughter when she was born, but she sadly passed away as an infant. Seeing Rebecca clinging to it, Ms. Linboman thought of her daughter, Ella, who would have been around the same age, and happily allowed her to keep it.

Though she looked too old for dolls, Rebecca had a brunette one clutched tightly to her chest. Anytime anyone tried to remove it from her, she would scream, but that was the only communication that would come from her. She didn’t speak. She didn’t make eye contact. She didn’t seem to hear a word anyone around her said.

Detectives recounted Rebecca’s steps to figure out where the blood had come from and when they reached her family’s cabin in the woods, the source became obvious.

Rebecca had butchered her entire family with nothing more than a pair of scissors and a dull kitchen knife. Her brother, Richard, was found in their shared loft bed with multiple stab wounds to his throat and face. His severed penis was shoved inside his gaping mouth. 

Madge and Ronald, her parents, were also found in their own bed with stab wounds to their faces and chests. Her father’s tongue had been hacked off and was later found shoved inside his rectum according to the medical examiner.

The search of the property also revealed a small, poorly crafted basement that contained a bucket full of urine and feces, a filthy mattress loaded with blood and semen, and a surprising amount of wandering centipedes.

At the hospital, Rebecca’s examination showed evidence of brutal physical, mental, and sexual abuse. In their report, the officers maintained professionalism, but between each other, they had no issue sharing their opinions that it was no wonder Rebecca did what she did.

Rebecca, at twenty-four years old, had been Dr. Garcia-Martinez’s patient for over a decade and each moment spent together was the same. The doctor would repeat the same questions, and Rebecca would quietly stare out of the window. She easily allowed the staff to walk her to and from her activities throughout the day, though she never participated in anything. If someone put food in her mouth, she would eat it. If someone placed a straw between her lips, she would drink. If someone sat her on the toilet, she would relieve herself. But she didn’t speak or connect with anyone. So long as no one took her yellow, daisy-covered blanket and raggedy, brunette doll, she wouldn’t even peep a sound. Lost within her own mind, she lived her days on complete autopilot.

Dr. Garcia-Martinez hoped one day Rebecca would wake from her drifted state and finally be present in reality, but she was starting to accept that maybe that day would never come. Picking up the receiver on her desk, she spoke into the phone, “Hello, yes. Rebecca is ready to head back to her room. Thank you.”

A few minutes later, a heavily tattooed, auburn-haired nurse came walking into the room. 

She greeted the woman with a friendly smile. “Good morning, Lydia.”

“Morning, Doctor. You’re all finished with Rebecca?” Nurse Lydia asked.

“I am.” She shuffled Rebecca’s paperback back into her folder and watched Nurse Lydia help Rebecca to her feet. 

They crossed the average-sized office and hesitated at the door.  Nurse Lydia, still holding on to Rebecca’s arm, turned around. “Do you think she will ever be,” she thought for a moment before continuing, “more than this?”

Dr. Garcia-Martinez interlaced her fingers and rested her hands on top of her desk. She looked at Nurse Lydia before staring down at Rebecca’s folder, the sticker on the front showing: Patient X1A-00. “I used to think so, but I’m not so certain anymore.”

“It’s sad, isn’t it? Her forever being lost in her own head. Even knowing what she did, with everything she went through to get to that point, it just makes me very sad.” Nurse Lydia rubbed her eyes; she had been taking care of Rebecca for just as long as Dr. Garcia-Martinez.

“Yes. We can only hope that wherever she might be in that mind of hers is better than where she was before she got lost in there. God knows she deserves more than the life she had been given.”

Nurse Lydia nodded her head in agreement and said goodbye before helping Rebecca out the door.

The doctor exhaled and placed the patient folder back into her filing cabinet and pulled out another. Grabbing a butterscotch candy from the dish at the corner of her desk, she popped it into her mouth and swirled it for a minute with her tongue before she tucked it in her cheek. She picked the receiver up again and when the charge nurse answered, she said, “Hello, me again. I’m ready for Mason Trawley now.” 

The End 

I want to thank…

My husband — Isaiah. He has been by my side through every up and down. He is there for me in every way imaginable — even when I don’t feel like I deserve such love. I wish I could give him the entire world.

My friend & beta reader— Kirsten. She is always ready to read anything I send her even when her life is jam packed full of chaos. Her constant hype and belief in me has gotten me through many imposter syndrome moments.

My editor — Mary Danner. She took my completely unhinged, messy draft and turned it into something absolutely readable and spectacular. Butterscotch wouldn’t be what it is without her.

My fellow indie author friends — Mike Salt. Gage Greenwood. Chaz Williams. Wendy Dalrymple. Marcus Hawke. Eli Wilde. Jayson Dawn. Christina Nicole. Jay Bower. B.C. Hollywood. Jay Sizemore. Ivan Lopez. Z. Martin. And so many more… Thank you all so much for always inspiring me!

My amazing readers — you! I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without the support of every single person who takes the time to read and review what I create. I am forever grateful. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Asia Brito Guerrero is a writer who has conjured up spooky and traumatic stories all her life. Most of her content is created from personal experience mixed together with a deranged imagination and ideas sparked from a lot of sleepless nights.

Asia currently lives in Phoenix, Arizona with her husband where they’re raising their two feral children together. She can usually be found on her couch with her laptop nearby, drinking too much coffee, and eating tacos for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

You can find her debut novella ‘Unforgiving’ on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited, as well as both of her short stories ‘When the Cold Gets Hungry’ and ‘Deliverance’.

If you liked this short story, please consider giving it a review on Goodreads and Amazon! Thank you!

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