Contents

Title page

Copyright

Dedication

Yorkshire Slang Guide

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

A familiar face...

Also by Andie M. Long

About Andie

BALLS FORE

BALL GAMES BOOK FOUR

BY

ANDIE M. LONG

COPYRIGHT

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Copyright (c) 2016 by Andrea Long

All rights reserved.

Cover photo from One Dollar Photo.

DEDICATION

To Beth Ashworth.

Fellow member of the Camel Ball Author Group.

A fab friend brought my way via the book world and Birmingham meet-ups.

This book is for you. Hope you like your namesake!

Yorkshire Slang Guide

Dear Reader,

Welcome to the fourth novella in the Ball Games Series. You do not need to have read the other books in the series to enjoy this novella, although if you want a giggle, you may wish to reconsider. Now you may be reading this novella from outside of South Yorkshire, England. This story is centred around the Turner family, who I hope you will become familiar with as I write further novellas in the series, all complete stand-alone stories. While I refrained from writing in the broad Yorkshire style of ‘Where’s tha bin?’ (Where have you been), I did want to leave in some British and Yorkshire words as I love providing an opportunity to learn new rude words, (I’m naughty like that.) So what follows is a list of what you will come across in the novella. If I’ve missed any feel free to contact me and I’ll teach you what they mean. I hope you have fun reading the Ball Games series. It came about after a meeting of like-minded book readers in Birmingham. We happened to visit a sweet shop that sold Camel Balls (you can Google them if you don’t know what they look like). As some of the meet-up were bloggers who had formed an alliance called All for the Love, myself and fellow author Beth Ashworth joked that we would have our own group, The Camel Balls.

Such is a writer's imagination that a few months later when I saw some e-books with rude titles I thought it would be fun to write one called Balls. After that book was written, the rest of Camille’s family and friends told me their stories…

Love Andie.

5 April 2016

British/Yorkshire Slang.

Arse - bottom/rear/backside.

Biscuit - cookie.

Busted - found out.

Buster - affectionate term, friend.

Calm your tits - calm down.

Chips - fries. Chips from a van are what you buy when you are drunk. They taste extra delicious.

Dickhead - stronger use of idiot, used with disdain when you really want to insult someone.

Even Stevens - equal.

Fogey - old person.

Fucked up - messed up.

Fucktard - an imbecile of the highest order.

Gob - mouth. Also used when you spit on someone maliciously (Sorry if I just made you feel sick there).

Heaving - extremely busy.

Lazy oaf - idle person.

Lopper - dirty person. In the book used when crumb dropping. Can also be used for the unwashed or flatulent, ‘Ew, you stink you dirty lopper.’

Mate - friend.

Mardy - sulking.

Oi - hey.

On your toes - be aware and careful.

Pee - see Wee.

Pint - a size of glass, but used when having it full of beer.

Piss off - go away.

Pissing me off - making me angry.

S’ - placed before a word like s’okay. It’s okay. Sometimes Yorkshire people can’t be bothered to say the whole word.

Sad, also Saddo - Someone you pity for being a moron. ‘They’re sad.’ ‘What a saddo.’

Shag - to have sex.

Thwack - hit, used as that’s the noise it makes. (please do not hit your own ear to check. Oh you have already? See Saddo.)

Tits - breasts.

Toilet - lavatory. Bathroom. The thing you wee in (see Wee).

Tonsil Tennis - Kissing passionately.

Twat - a word for vagina, used to say a person is a despicable person or idiot if proceeded by daft.

Wanged - waved in your face.

Wee - urinate.

Chapter One

Beth

It’s not every day a chocolate penis is wanged in your face.

‘Mum. Stop it, you’re in a children’s play centre,’ yells my best mate, Camille. Her shouting only has more people turning towards us.

‘Oh, Camille. How do you think all those children were made? If it wasn’t for willies, there wouldn’t be anyone in your business.’

‘Talking about business, leave Beth alone.’

‘But she’s an expert.’

‘Not with penises I’m not.’ I sigh. ‘But chocolate, yes. Cam, go make us a drink so I can have a proper conversation with your mum.’

Camille huffs and goes off, giving her mother a sly look.

‘What can I do for you, Dora?’

‘I’m giving up my cleaning job, with Tim’s permission, and I’ve had a good think about what I could do instead. At first, I was thinking of taking a job in a supermarket but then I read a book about careers and it asked what I enjoyed. Well, that’s my baking. Then my thoughts went on and before I knew it, I was making chocolate willies. But as you can see, mine needs some work.’

I appraise a penis. It is a little wonky.

‘You need a good mould, and you have to learn the process of tempering chocolate.’

‘Would you mind if I sold willies and boobies, Beth? I don’t want to take your trade if you were thinking of expanding.’

I sell children’s chocolate bars. As a single mum to my three-year-old son, Trey, it’s a business that fits around nursery runs.

‘Dora, you’re absolutely fine. I can’t sell sexy stuff alongside children’s chocolate. It wouldn’t be right.’

‘Well, my thought is to set up for hen nights and weddings. I’m fantastic at baking so I could do wedding cakes and cupcakes for brides and the naughty stuff for their hen nights. I’ll do Camille’s when she and Dylan eventually set a date.’

‘They’ve only been engaged a week.’

I take a bite of the penis. ‘Mmm, this tastes good, though.’

Dora beams.

‘So would you teach me that temper thing and how to do the books? I’m really keen to get underway.’

I can imagine. If there’s one word you can assign to Cam’s mum, its enthusiasm.

‘Sure. Come round this evening if you like. I’ve no plans.’

Dora appraises me. ‘Still no man in your life then?’

‘Just Trey. He’s all I need.’

She hands me a packet full of chocolate penises. ‘Here, you need to remind yourself what you’re missing.’

When you’ve been with Dora for half an hour, you feel like you’ve been in the path of a tornado. She has, however, been a second mum to me since I was young. Camille and I were at school together, so I’ve been round their house for many a meal after school. While my parents have always been dependable, they were, and still are, set in their ways. Going to Cam’s house was always an adventure. You’d never know what her mum had been up to, plus I had a crush on her brother until I grew up and realised what a lazy oaf he was. Tyler’s all loved up now, and I only have brotherly feelings towards him. I sometimes miss the fact I’ve grown up and don’t go to the Turners for tea anymore.

With Dora now gone, I spend some time with my son in Kid Zone, watching him make friends with the other children. He’s a very contented child, and that’s how I hope he stays. I’m proud of the son I’ve brought up single-handed. His contentment shows he’s not missing having a father in his life. He has a significant male in his grandad, a man who idolises him, albeit from his comfy armchair.

Lunch rush over, Camille places two hot drinks on a nearby table and sits down rubbing her lower back.

‘God standing up for long periods plays havoc with my back.’

She opens a packet of chocolate chip cookies and places them on the table. ‘Snacktime.’

Trey’s eagle eyes to anything junk-food related home in on the biscuits and he runs out of the ball pool. ‘Aun Cam, bic-bic.’

Cam looks at me. I nod my head to answer her silent question.

‘Auntie Cam spoils you, young man.’ I rub the top of his head. His brown curls spring back from under my fingers.

Cam stands up, gathers Trey in her arms and cuddles him. ‘You’re my very favourite boy, you know that?’

‘Don’t let your fiancé hear you say that,’ I reply.

‘Fiancé. Gosh, that word is going to take some getting used to.’ She looks at her finger where an emerald and diamond ring now sits. Her fiancé, Dylan, proposed a week ago, but she only got her ring on Saturday and can’t stop staring at it. I don’t blame her, it's beautiful, with a large rectangular emerald in the middle and diamonds either side.

‘Your mum’s wondering when the big event is taking place I gather?’

Cam rolls her eyes. ‘Not for the reason you’re thinking. She wants to put the date on the calendar so she knows when not to A: Take a holiday with Dad, and B: Not book other baking business for that date. She’s only made one batch of chocolate willies and is already seeing herself on Dragons Den.

‘Well, that’s your mum for you. I’ll have a chat with her about perfecting her craft and then offering samples before she books herself up for the rest of the year.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Do you have any idea when you’ll get married though?’

‘Not really. Things get booked up so far in advance that I don’t know whether to say 2017 or 2018. We need to chat about what sort of wedding we want and then go from there. I’d like to go abroad but that has financial implications for everyone.’

‘I wouldn’t be able to afford it, but I wouldn’t stand in your way. You need to have the wedding you want. Don’t you forget that when Dora starts being the Mother of Bride-zilla.’

‘I can’t see Mum being like that. She’s not interested in getting married herself.’

I shake my head. ‘You have met your mother, haven’t you? Your wedding is so going to be a project.’

Cam’s eyes widen. ‘Fuck. We’ll have to elope. Gretna Green’s sounding good about now.’

I chuckle. Then turn to see Trey stuffing another biscuit in his gob. I grab the packet. He’s eaten about four. ‘Oh my God, I’m such a bad mother. Trey, no more biscuits.’

‘That’s my fault. Here let me move them,’ says Cam, taking the packet from me. ‘I can’t say I enjoyed them as much as Trey is. Packet biscuits are boring.’

An idea comes to mind. ‘Hmm, interesting you should say that. I’ve had an idea. I’m going to run it past your mum tonight and see what she thinks.’

Cam falls to her knees in a prayer pose. ‘Please don’t get infected by projectitis, I beg you.’

‘Get up you lunatic.’ I laugh.

Trey falls to his knees at the side of Cam and grins at me. His cute face dimpling as he giggles along at a joke he doesn’t understand.

‘Your son is the cutest thing ever,’ Cam says.

‘Don’t I know it. You’re going to be a heartbreaker, aren’t you?’ I stroke my son's cheek.

‘I not break anythin’, Mummy.’ He shakes his head; a frown appears that makes him look even cuter.

‘I know precious. Go off and play,’ I tell him.

Cam’s face turns serious. ‘So at a guess, I’d say his father must have been a good-looking guy, because although I can see his resemblance to you, he seems a large part of someone I haven’t met.’

‘There’s no doubt about it. Trey looks a lot like his father.’ My lips purse.

‘Well he might have a physical likeness but at least you’re teaching him to not be a twat.’

I nod, because that way, I don’t have to verbalise another lie. Camille has always been very patient as a friend. She’s never pushed me into telling her the story of Trey’s father. That story being that Trey’s father was a dickhead who didn’t want to know when he discovered I was pregnant.

It couldn’t be further from the truth, but that’s the decision I made and the one I live by. It was for the best. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Chapter Two

Dora

I’ve never been to Beth’s house before today. It still seems strange to me that Cam and Beth are all grown up, and Beth has a child of her own now. These are the two girls I’ve watched play together in my house, moving from dolls to make-up. Going from glasses of milk to being drunk on alcopops in Cam’s bedroom. Although they were apart while they went to University, Cam choosing Liverpool while Beth went to Manchester, they stayed in touch. Then, of course, Beth returned home without completing University as she’d started something else - growing a baby. The girl who used to talk endless loads of shit with my daughter returned to Rotherham a friendly, but private woman. No doubt the result of Trey’s father, who by all accounts was a complete fucktard. She’s closed off her heart to all men but her son. It’s a shame as she’s a beautiful person inside and out.

Beth invites me into her terraced house. It’s on a busy street. The area around is noisy with teenage children hanging out and there’s a lot of passing traffic. I walk through the small hallway into her lounge. I’m expecting a huge basket of ironing and an explosion of children’s toys. Instead, I find myself in a spotless room. Trey is playing with mega blocks in the bay window, but other than that, you wouldn’t know a child even lived here.

‘Can I have a nosey around your home?’ I ask her. ‘It’s dead strange you having your own place. I feel very old right now.’

Beth laughs. ‘Of course. Come have a tour. I find it hard to believe I’m a grown up with a child myself most of the time.’

The rest of the house is in the same immaculate order. You could eat dinner in the bathroom, it's so clean. The bedrooms are minimalist. Trey’s room has a couple of framed prints on the wall, a wardrobe and chest of drawers and another wall full of shelving with coloured storage boxes. Again, there’s not a single toy to be seen, except for a teddy bear on his pillow.

‘It’s a lovely house, Beth. You keep it immaculate.’

She nods and smiles.

It wasn’t all a compliment.

I follow Beth downstairs and into the kitchen where she makes me a drink. She rewashes the cup from the cupboard before she puts a tea-bag in it. Though it’s none of my business, I can’t keep my observations to myself.

‘Beth. Where are Trey’s toys?’

She looks confused. ‘You saw them in his room, in those boxes.’

‘Yes, but where are the ones he plays with?’

‘He chooses what he’s playing with and then he has to put them away if he wants something else out. He has his mega-blocks right now.’

‘Right.’

‘I can’t afford to trip over a toy.’ She bites on her lip. ‘It almost happened once. I was near the top of the stairs. I need to be careful because there’s only one of me.’

Ah. Now I see where all this cleanliness is coming from. The girl’s too nervous to relax in her own home.

I wave a hand around. ‘And all the cleaning? Or are you just a tidy person?’

‘I can’t afford to get ill. Who would look after Trey?’

‘Your mum and dad?’

‘They wouldn’t cope. They moan they’re tired after they have him on a Friday.’

I smile. ‘Beth, that’s what grandparents do. They brought you up. They’d be able to look after Trey. We all like to moan when we reach middle-age.’

‘Well, I’d rather be careful. It’s not a crime to be clean and tidy is it? Plus, what if someone comes to inspect my workspace?’ She points to the side of her kitchen dedicated to her chocolate business.

I can see and hear I’ve hit a nerve so I move the conversation onward.

‘Of course.’ I hit myself in the forehead as if it’s me being stupid. ‘It wouldn’t do to have a dirty workspace, would it? I have to admit, I like a clean kitchen and bathroom myself, and now Tyler’s gone I get to have them.’

‘Right, well, if you’re ready I thought I’d show you how to temper the chocolate properly first. Then I’ll go over the business side of things.’

I extract my notebook and pen from my bag and take notes while Beth shows me how to temper the chocolate. I’d not realised how serious little Beth had become. Where’s the fun in her life? Trey wanders through to show us his blocks. He’s a studious little soul.

‘Choc-choc, Mummy?’

She reaches in a packet for a small chocolate drop and hands it to him.

‘It’s time for bed, Trey, soon.’

‘Nooooo.’

She sits him in his high chair. ‘You can watch me and Dora make chocolate and then it's time for bed.’

I’m in awe of Beth’s skills as she takes me through the process of how to make the perfect chocolate penis.

‘I can’t thank you enough, Beth. You’re so good at this.’

Her eyes light up. ‘Thanks, Dora. I enjoy doing it. It's relaxing. Right, I’ll get this rascal up to bed and then we’ll go through the books so you can see what records you need to keep.’

By the end of the evening, I've got a pretty good idea of how to start my business, but I’ve been told in no uncertain terms I’ve to walk before I can run. It’s odd to have the tables turned and get life lessons from the alcopop girl. That I must be able to make a perfect penis almost every time before I start to sell them, and that my workspace needs to be arranged so I have a side solely for business prep. My kitchen is large so that shouldn’t be a problem with a little reorganisation.

I reach into my bag for my purse. ‘Let me pay you for your time, Beth.’

I get a dirty look in response.

‘Not a chance. Though, you can pay me another way.’

‘Yeah, what’s that?’

‘Can you teach me to bake biscuits? I’ve had an idea of how to expand my own business.’

I nod eagerly. ‘Of course I can. Cakes and biscuits are my speciality.’

‘Brilliant. Thank you.’

She tells me how she’s going to make iced biscuits to sell to the party mums and hopefully supply Kid Zone, in place of the awful shop bought cookies Cam serves with her coffees. It’s a great idea. I wish she could bring some sweetness into her own life. I’ll have to talk to Cam. We need to get Beth to loosen up and have a life of her own because she’s avoiding all the risks and with that, avoiding the joy to be had in life.

Time for Project Beth.

Chapter Three

Camille

It’s a Thursday and I’m sitting chewing on the end of a pencil when Beth bursts through the doors of Kid Zone.

‘You haven’t left him here.’

‘Eh?’

‘Trey. Thought you’d lost him with how you careered through that door.’

She eye-rolls. ‘Funny aren’t you? We’ve got the dentist today, so you aren’t seeing us later.’

I pout. ‘No Trey cuddles?’

‘This should shut you up.’ She pushes a heart-shaped ice biscuit toward my mouth. I take it from her hand.

I bite into it. The biscuit melts in my mouth and a buttery goodness explodes on my tongue. The sugar of the icing compliments the flavours. It's exquisite. I try to talk with biscuit in my mouth. ‘Where has this been all my life?’

Beth takes a seat. ‘Your mum has been teaching me to bake biscuits for the last week. What do you think about selling these in Kid Zone? They’re much better than the packet biscuits you sell.’

‘I think that’s a definite possibility, but I need to try more before I decide.’ I wink.

‘Also, what about you sell your mum’s cupcakes alongside my biscuits?’

I almost choke on a crumb. ‘Erm because I don’t want her long blonde hair in my customers’ food?’

Beth leans back and crosses her legs. ‘Your mum’s serious this time. We’ve made her a workstation. She has protective hats and everything. She’s an inspection due and then she can start.’

‘Wow. You mean my mum has found something to settle to at last? She is a good baker.’

‘She really is. But she needs to start out slow. Maybe she could supply Kid Zone first and then some of the mums might want our cookies and cupcakes for their children's parties. I’ve told her to hold off on the willies until she’s more established.’

My eyes narrow at Beth. ‘So you’ve been spending a lot of time with my mum then? She never said.’

‘We wanted it to be a surprise. Until I came to you with my perfect biscuits.’

‘Well, they certainly are.’ I take another bite.

Gemma, my right-hand woman at Kid Zone, comes over to the table with two hot drinks. ‘There you go ladies. Just the thing to go with your rather nice looking biscuits.’

‘We can take a hint. Here.’ I pass her a biscuit, this one is in the shape of an ice-cream cone and again, is beautifully iced.

‘Oh my Lord, that’s divine.’

‘Yes, we’ll definitely be selling these.’ I tell Beth.

‘Mm-mm.’ Gemma waves a hand at me as she can hardly speak with a gob full of biscuit. ‘The anniversary party.’ Crumbs sprinkle over me. ‘Sowwy.’

‘Take your blooming biscuit over there. Out of my way, you lopper.’ I shoo her away.

‘What anniversary party?’ asks Beth.

‘Kid Zone’s. It’s one-year-old on the eighteenth of July. So I thought Saturday sixteenth I’d have a huge celebration. That’s why I was chewing on a pencil before you replaced it with that yummy biscuit. I’m trying to get ideas for making it a bit different. Not too expensive, though.’

‘Oh, can I make suggestions?’

‘Be my guest.’

Beth sweeps a hand over the biscuits she’s brought with her. ‘Well, obviously a huge array of my chocolates and biscuits. I have a new chocolate I’m bringing out. It's been successful elsewhere in the country with kids. It came up in one of my business forums.’

‘Yeah, what’s that?’

‘Chocolate bars done in kids initials. Kids love them apparently.’

‘Great idea. You could do kids initial biscuits too.’

‘So I could,’ she says.

I pick my pencil back up from the table. ‘Could you make me two hundred iced biscuits with Kid Zone One Today on them?’

‘Sure.’

I scribble on my pad.

‘I’ll ask my mum if she’ll supply the same in cupcakes.’

‘Your mum will be ecstatic.’

‘I hope I won’t regret this,’ I tell her.

With Beth gone I spend more time working on the party. Firstly, I book catering to supply sandwiches and other food as I’ll be too busy to be concerned with party sausages. I look down my list. Entertainment-wise, I’ve booked a juggler from a local circus school in Sheffield. My celebration needs something else to draw the crowds in on what could potentially be a sunny Saturday. I stare into space. What could I do? Then I get an idea. What about a celebrity of sorts? But who could I ask? I think of Cole Grant, the ex-professional tennis player. He’s easy on the eye, the mums would like him and I bet my mother could get him to come as she played cupid for him in Center Parcs. I’ll ask her. Juggler for the kids, eye candy for the mothers, cakes and biscuits for the dads. I think we’re sorted.

Saturday 16 July 2016

Kid Zone is heaving at the seams with children and parents. There are balloons being battered around everywhere. The noise volume is high as kids shriek with excitement.

‘Congratulations, love, we’re so proud of you,’ says my dad. My mum kisses me on the cheek. Her arm is firmly around my dad’s waist. I hope they’re not going to keep making public displays of affection or I’ll need the sick bucket for myself rather than the children. They’ve been on their best behaviour around each other since a recent falling out. I hope the lovey-dovey stuff wears off soon and I get my usual parents back. It’s not normal.

Beth wanders over to us, having been supervising the distribution of the biscuits and cupcakes. Trey is with my brother.

‘You’ve done an amazing job there, Beth,’ I tell her.

Mum high-fives her.

‘Oh it’s nothing,’ says Beth.

‘For goodness sake, Beth, I wish you’d appreciate your talents a bit more. The biscuits are amazing. So are the chocolates. You need to sing your own praises,’ I scold.

‘Hey, we’re not all confident like you, Camille. Some of us prefer to blend into the background.’ She lifts an empty paper plate up and hides her face behind it.

I nudge her. ‘Well, it’s a shame. You’re multi-talented.’

‘What about me?’ asks my mother.

‘You too.’ I sigh.

‘Well naturally you got your confidence from me,’ says my mother, ‘and your understanding of figures from your father.’

Dad looks at one of the sexier mothers. ‘Yep, I’m pretty good with figures.’

My mother pinches his bum. ‘Hey. Eyes over here.’

He winks at her. ‘You’re the only one for me, love, you know it.’

Vom.

‘I’ll be back in a tic, I think they’re having a cupcake fight over there,’ says Beth.

‘So what time is Cole getting here, Mum? Only I’m doing my speech at two pm and he’s supposed to give out balloon animals.’

‘Oh, he’s not coming,’ my mother says, waving her hand in the air.

‘What?’ I shriek. ‘You said he was coming. I’ve promised a famous sports person. Oh my God, how embarrassing. What am I supposed to do?’

‘Calm your tits, Cam, I got someone else to replace him.’

I give my mother a death glare.

‘Who?’

‘They’re here now.’ She points toward the door.

A vision of hunky goodness enters Kid Zone. He’s looking around as if trying to spot a familiar face. He’s completely unruffled by the children running past him. The larger than normal amount of children run amok as almost every mother’s gaze hones in on the six-foot-plus, smouldering Man God. Can skin look glossy? His does. Smooth and glossy. Well, they do say black don’t crack. His close shaved hair reminds me of the top of a tennis ball. He looks familiar but I can’t recall where I’ve seen him before today.

My mum runs over and practically drags him back with her.

‘Cam. This is Leo Coleman. He’s an ex-pro golfer, currently working at Rother Valley.’

I hit my forehead. ‘Ah, that’s where I’ve seen you. I saw an advert for lessons in the paper.’

‘Ah yes. Well, thanks for letting me come and say a few words. Sorry I’m late. I got lost. I should put the satnav on, but hey, I’m a guy and think I can work it out. I’m hoping I can recruit some of the fathers for golf lessons while I’m here.’

‘And the mothers,’ says my mum. ‘I bet there are a lot of women here who’d like lessons.’

‘Yeah, I try not to encourage those,’ laughs Leo. He has a booming laugh that makes his eyes sparkle. I think I’m in love.

‘Well thanks so much, Leo, for coming here today. Do you want to follow me and we’ll head over to the microphone?’

‘Sure. Sorry about running late.’

‘No worries. I’m just pleased you’re here.’

I cough and ask for people to be quiet. Miracles can’t be expected, so it gets quieter, but silence in a kids play centre will never happen.

My parents come and stand at the front as I start my speech. I cross my fingers that my mother doesn’t cry or applaud like I’ve won an Oscar.

My eyes scan the crowds while I address the people paying attention. ‘I’d like to thank you all for being part of our one-year anniversary party. When I opened Kid Zone, I never expected to not only run a business but to make a family of the team of staff that work here.’ A round of applause is made for the staff. ‘This business couldn’t succeed without all the parents, carers, grandparents and kids that come here. So, to say thank you, I hope you’ve grabbed some chocolate, a biscuit, a cupcake or all three, plus a free tea, coffee, water or juice. Here’s to another year.’ I raise a plastic tumbler of water. There is a loud cheer and another round of applause. ‘Now, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to our special guest. He’s an amazing golfer. Please welcome to Kid Zone, ex-professional Leo Coleman.’

The place erupts in applause, the kids copy their parents, even though they’ll have no clue who he is. Leo places the microphone below his mouth.

‘Wow, thank you for such a warm welcome, Kid Zone. Now if you don’t know me, I used to play golf quite well and now I’m running lessons at Rother Valley, so if any interested dads want to come see me after my speech.’ He winks. ‘Now I don’t have any kids of my own but know that most children like a balloon animal. So who wants to come get one?’

As Leo states he doesn’t have kids of his own, Beth walks out of the toilets with Trey in her arms. Her face hones in on Leo’s voice and pales. The next few minutes feel like one of those moments when you try different keys to open a lock and suddenly find the right one. As Beth stares as Leo, and I stare at her, I realise why Leo’s face is so familiar. Not only from an advert but because he is so clearly related to Trey.

Holy shit.

Chapter Four

Beth

Camille's brother, Tyler, had been minding Trey while I served customers with biscuits and juice. Tyler said he'd rather play with Trey than obey his younger sister's bossy instructions. However, I saw Lindsay, Tyler's girlfriend, getting fed up of watching Ty and Trey playing in the ball pool. Tyler looked disappointed when I ended their fun, at least until Trey did a body tremble and wee appeared at the front of his shorts.

'Oh, Trey,' I grab him and my bag and hurtle to the toilets. I should have known better. Newly toilet trained, the excitement had proved too much for my three-year-old son. He'd held his bladder as long as he could to continue having fun. Luckily, I go nowhere without wipes and a change of clothes, so after a quick wash down and change we're ready to leave the toilets and rejoin the party. Trey holds onto me like a little koala, sitting astride my right hip while I hold the carrier bag of wet clothes in the other hand. Hopefully, Camille will let me put them in her office until it's time for us to leave.

As I leave the toilets, a deep voice speaks about not having kids. I follow the sound, it resonating in my ear like an alarm. There's a tingle in my chest and tightness in my gut. It can't be. There's no reason for him to be in a children's play centre. My imagination is obviously running wild. But my eyes settle on his face and I recognise the familiar features of my ex-lover, Leo Coleman. It may have been a few years, but he has changed little. My awareness of my surroundings dims as I'm transported back to student life in Manchester. A teenage girl enjoying life in a club, then a pregnant girl returning to Rotherham. My heartbeat feels like it will explode in my chest and my hands are clammy. I'm thinking of my fastest route out of here when my eyes meet hers - Camille's. Her wide-eyed expression and open mouth show me that she has made her calculations and is aiming for an A star result in mathematics. Shit.

Assessing the situation, I see Cam shaking her head, muttering to herself. If it weren't for the children waiting for their balloon animals, she'd probably have her hands around Leo's throat by now, demanding to know why a championship golfer has ignored his own son.

Because I said he was a twat.

Because I lied.

I shake my head at Cam and point toward her office. I pull Tyler and Lindsay to one side where I apologise but beg them to have Trey for a little while as I must talk to Camille. Lindsay frowns but Tyler tells me it's no problem.

Cam stalks towards us. Lindsay sees Cam's face and turns to me.

'We're fine with Trey. You'd better go.'

'He's Trey's father isn't he? Or an Uncle. He's definitely related.'

I sigh. 'He's the father.'

'Leo Coleman is Trey's dad?'

'I just said that didn't I?' I run a hand through my hair, almost grabbing it in a clump.

Cam flops into her office chair and gestures for me to sit in another. 'Fuck me, I didn't see that one coming.'

'You didn't see it coming?' I laugh hysterically. 'What's he doing here? I thought Cole was coming. If you'd mentioned Leo, I wouldn't be here.'

'My mum booked him because Cole couldn't make it. I didn't know he was coming, and I didn't know he was Trey's father so don't get at me. Now I know he's the fucking twat who couldn’t be bothered with his son I'll get rid of him. He needn't think he's getting any business from here. I'll make some shit up so no-one wants anything to do with him.'

'Cam. I need to tell you -'

'Cheeky fucking bastard. To come to a kid's play centre when he doesn't have anything to do with his own.'

'Cam-'

'He even said he didn't have any children. I'm going to kill the fucker.'

'Cam!'

She turns to me. 'Sorry, honey, I'm getting worked up on your behalf.'

'He doesn't know,' I mumble.

'Pardon?'

Cam takes a deep breath and holds it in. She folds her arms over her chest.

'He doesn't know.'

Cam lets her breath go and then speaks just as slowly. If she were a cat, she'd be calculating how to catch a mouse right now. 'He doesn't know about what, Beth?'

I put my head in my hands and look at the floor. 'He doesn't know about Trey. He's not a twat. I said that so no-one asked too many questions. He doesn't know he has a son.'

'Oh, Beth.' says Camille.

I look away from her. Tears start to fall and won't stop coming.

Cam

I leave her in the room while I go and get her a cup of hot sweet tea. That's what you do for people in shock, isn't it? I find my mum first and ask her to take Trey from Ty and Lindsay.

Mum lifts her chin. 'What's going on with Beth?'

'She's not feeling very well.'

Mum frowns. 'She was fine earlier.'

'Not now, Mum, okay?'

Mum nods slowly. 'Ah, okay, hun. Let me know if I can help.'

'You can. Please get Trey.' I point at Tyler and Lindsay.

Mum holds Trey's hand and walks over with me to the counter while I get the tea. 'You need to say thanks to Leo before you disappear with Beth. He looks like he's finished up.'

As I look up, he's heading towards us. Shit. Trey.

Leo gives one of his fantastic smiles. I can see why Beth fell for him.

'Thanks so much for asking me to come, Dora, and you too, of course, Camille. I’ll chat with the father's now if that's okay?'

I scratch my eyebrow. 'Yeah, but don't take too long. You know, cos they won't be expecting to be talking about golf today will they?'

'Well yeah, okay. I'll not take up too much of their time.'

My mum stares at me like I've lost my mind and touches Leo's arm. 'Oh don't be silly, Camille. The blokes will be made up to talk about golf. I bet they're bored to death with the kids.' She smiles up at Leo, completely missing my second death glare of the day.

'Right, thanks, I will. Hey little man,' he says and tickles Trey under the chin. 'Cute grandchild you got there.'

'Oh he's not-' says my mum, but Leo has already moved on.

I run my hands through my hair, tempted to pull some of it out. 'Okay. I'm going back to Beth. We'll be out soon.'

'Well don't be too long, love, people want to celebrate with you.'

'I'll be as long as I'm going to be.'

Mum rolls her eyes. 'It's just like when I used to ask you how long you would be in the bathroom cos I was desperate for a pee. Right, get on with it. I'll occupy Trey and re-live feeling Leo's arm.'

Beth

While Camille goes to sort out Trey and make tea, I sit feeling useless.

My son is outside and I'm in here. The fact is I don't want him in here because I'm crying and a mess. I need to get myself under control before I see my beautiful son. Plus, I don't want to go out there because his father is there.

Neither do I really want Camille to come back because she'll want answers to questions I'm not ready to face.

Maybe it's best if I quickly grab Trey, tell everyone I'm not feeling well and leave?

But I don't. I sit there as if frozen to the spot until Camille returns.

She enters her office and puts my cup of tea in front of me.

'I suppose you deserve an explanation.'

She strokes my shoulder and then sits back down. 'I'd like to know what's been going on in your life, but Beth, if it's too painful, you don't have to tell me. I’m sure you had your reasons for keeping your son's father a secret.'

'I need to tell someone.' I take a sip of sweet tea. 'The thing is, I've never known whether I made the right decision. Maybe talking about it will help.' So I begin.

Manchester 2012

As with many other Uni students before me, life became as much about the drinking and parties outside Uni hours as it did about the study. Hannah and Lucy, my house share friends, had lined up a night at Discord, an intimate nightclub apparently frequented by celebrities. If you counted actors from the small soap opera celebs that is.

Hannah had us in the VIP section within the hour. Tall and blonde, she'd caught the attention of a footballer. Lucy homed in on his friend. I nursed a vodka and coke and wondered if I'd lost my friends for the night.

Then he came over.

'Mind if I sit here?' He indicated the seat to my left.

'There's no-one sitting there,' I informed him.

'Yes, but I asked if you minded if I sat there?' His lip turned up at the corner, showing his amusement.

I put my drink on the table. 'Well, I'm not sure how to answer. What if I say I don't mind and you sit there, and then I find you annoying? Will you move?'

The amusement reaches his eyes and they almost twinkle. Fucking hell, he's hot. He can sit in my lap, never mind the seat beside me.

'You only have to say the word and I'll move.'

'Okay. The word will be bored.'

He takes the seat. From his manner, something tells me he's as awkward here as I am. Call it an inner instinct, which tells me he's not a player like those my friends are with, who I'm sure do this every week.

'So how did you end up in the VIP section?' I ask him.

'I play golf. Quite well.'

'Oh.'

'What about you?'

'Me? I'm a soap actress. Recently, I won the most attractive female award. I can't act but they don't care.'

'Oh.' He scratches his top lip.

'Joking.' I hold out a hand. 'I'm Beth and I'm a business student at Manchester University.'

He takes it. I swear electric currents jump between our hands.

'Leo Coleman. Thank goodness you're not an actress.'

'Why?'

'I don't court celebrity life. It's too fake.'

'So why are you in the VIP section of a club?'

'My agent made me.' Leo points to a bloke in the distance. 'He likes this scene.'

'Sad.'

'I think so. So how are you in the VIP section?'

I point to my friends who are now engaged in tonsil tennis with the footballers.

'Shall we go somewhere else?' he asks me.

I snigger. 'Like where? It's half-past one in the morning.'

'We could go for a walk. Buy some chips from a van or something.'

I stare at him, looking him over. 'How do I know you aren't a serial killer?'

'You don't. So what do you say? Are you willing to take the risk?'

I take a risk, and later, in his hotel room, I take another.

My studies slide. The only study I'm interested in is the anatomy of Leo. When he's not playing golf, we meet up. I travel to him or he comes to me. Comes in me. We come together.

Stolen moments.

Sex, sex and more sex.

Studies slide further.

Then sickness.

Sickness that occurs a couple of times a day and can no longer be attributed to a virus.

I piss on a stick.

Positive. The lines say so.

Pregnant.

Protection? Oh, we used it. Mostly. Sometimes our need for each other was so great it wasn't given a thought.

Now it was all I could think about.

'Oh, Beth. It sounded so good. Did you tell him?'

'I was going to. I went to tell him.' Trembling, I wrap my arms around myself tighter and carry on my story.

A hotel room door opens.

A man looks at my face.

'You're pregnant, aren't you?'

‘Can you tell by looking at me? Does it show?’ I panic and look at my stomach.

'It's written all over your face. Like a pathetic panic.'

I take a step back.

'Fucking hell. Come in, for God's sake.'

I stand and pause. Wary.

'Come on. We need to talk. Get this sorted out. I'm not going to hurt you.'

It was a lie, but he didn't hurt me with physical violence, just words.

Joe. Leo's agent and best friend. The man paid to deal with media issues, stalkers and Leo's career. The career I now threatened with pregnancy.

'You stupid bitch. Did you do this on purpose?'

'No.'

'Sure? He's doing pretty bloody nicely for himself. Could give you a comfortable life. Of course, he'll resent you for every second of it.'

'What?'

'If you love him, you'll let him go, or get rid of it and disappear. There's much more coming up for him.'

'I'm not asking him to give it up.'

'But he will. He'll feel forced to stay with you and the kid because that's who he is. He's a bloody nice guy. Even if you were a quick lay, he'd stay. Give up a fucking glorious future. A hook-up that will gut him like a fish.'

He walks to a drawer.

'How much to leave and never come back?'

There's a sound at the door. A card being inserted into the lock. Leo comes in.

'Everything okay?'

I nod. Joe nods.

'I was just telling Beth a few factoids about you while she waited.'

'Nothing to put her off me I hope?' He laughs.

'Course not. Anyway, we need to celebrate tonight because you, my friend,' he pats Leo on the back, 'have landed another major tournament.'

'Whoop. Sounds like an excuse for a beer. Let me get changed and we'll go.'

It’s the last night I see Leo. I spend as much of the evening as possible staring at him, trying to memorise his features. He talks non-stop about the tour. Golf is his life. I take a selfie of us on my phone. I let him make love to me. Then he goes away to work and I disappear off the face of the earth.

I take a deep breath.

'So I made my decision. Joe was right. Leo was enjoying his career. He had opportunities to travel abroad. Sponsorship deals. A kid would have held him back. What if he decided to give everything up? The man was a born romantic. He would have done it. I couldn't risk that. Couldn't risk him giving up an amazing career to stick with a woman who had no prospects and a kid. So I didn't tell him.'

'But Beth. He had money. You could have been provided for. I'm sure you could have worked things out.'

'I didn't want his money.'

Camille takes one look at my face and stops this line of questioning. She knows me and my pride. I don't need anything from anyone else. Trey has had a brilliant childhood, and that's my intention for his life ahead.

'I blocked Leo out of my life. Turned the TV over if he came on. Didn't read newspaper articles. Stopped following golf. I had no idea what happened in his career until I saw the picture of him in the local paper saying he was giving golf lessons. Somewhere along the way he went from pro-golfer to trainer and I don't know what happened there. Now I'm wondering if I made the right choice for Trey, or whether his father has been available all along.' I bite my top lip.

'So you don't know anything about Leo's career since you left Manchester?'

'No.'

Camille boots up her computer. 'Time to research Leo Coleman.'

And this is where I find out that two years ago, Leo was involved in a road traffic accident that gave him an injury that would take him out of competitive sport. Had he known about Trey, he could have been around for most of his life after all.

'I have to tell him.' I gather my confidence with a deep breath, stand up and walk towards the door.

‘Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?’ Cam’s voice comes from behind me.

I turn and nod my head at her. ‘It’s the right thing to do.’

I walk outside and take Trey from Dora. His face lights up as he shouts, 'Mummy'. I swing him onto my hip and stride towards Leo.

Leo's chatting away with another bloke. I tap him on the shoulder.

'Ha ha, here's another one.' The bloke points to me. 'Jeez, you women don't leave the guy alone.'

So Leo turns around, a look of resignation on his face until his gaze meets mine.

Then his jaw slackens and his eyes widen. 'Beth?' he says.

Then he looks at Trey and smiles at him.

Trey shouts, ‘Mummy, I shy,’ and hides his face in my neck, before peeking back out and smiling at Leo. A crease forms on Leo's forehead.

'Well hello again, little man.' A pause. 'How old are you?' he asks.

'I'm free.' Trey holds up three fingers.

Leo’s expression changes to an angry scowl. 'Wow. Three. That's a really interesting age. Wouldn't you say so, Mummy?'

I realise that Trey is probably the only thing stopping me from being verbally attacked right now.

My voice shakes. 'We need to talk.'

He sneers. 'You don't say.'

'Not here. Hang on.' I retrieve a business card from my pocket and pass it to Leo. 'Call me later. Trey goes to bed around seven.'

His eyes narrow. 'Oh, I'll call you all right. Or maybe my Solicitor will.'

An icy chill weaves its way up my spine. Please God no. Don't let him want to take my child from me. I would die. Fuck, I can't do this right now. I turn to walk away.

'Beth.'

I turn back where I see his demeanour has changed. He now looks broken. Confused.

'I looked for you. Wondered why you left me like you did. I thought we had something. Now, I don't know what to think.'

'So don't. Come over later and find out the facts.'

He nods. Then moves closer and strokes Trey's hair.

'Ged off me. No hair.'

Leo jumps back. 'Sorry, mate.'

'He doesn't like his hair messing with. He's scared you're going to try to brush it.'

'I've so much to learn,' he says quietly.

With a nod, I walk away. I say goodbye to Camille and her family on my way out, and instead of getting the bus home, I frivolously flag down a taxi. I need to be behind the safe walls of my house for a few hours, cuddling my son, because I need time to think.

Chapter Five

Leo

As fast as she re-appears in my life, she’s gone. My only connection with her is the business card in my hand. I make my excuses to the guy I’ve been talking to and restlessly shake his hand. My mind has already left him and my body wants to follow. Then I make my way towards Dora. She invited me here. Was she aware of this? Was this some kind of fucked-up set-up? On my way over, I accidentally crash into a chair, knocking it over. I apologise to the family seated there. As I continue on my way, Dora’s daughter, the owner of the play centre, eyes me warily. Well, she certainly knows. She stalks towards me, intercepts me.

‘You need to be gentle with Beth. She’s not had it easy.’

I snigger. Is she for real? My laugh isn’t quiet, so her parents turn around. They turn back to each other. I observe their mouths moving. Words. Wondering what’s happening.

I undo the first button on my shirt, feeling like I’m being strangled. Perhaps I need air? ‘I find out I have a son. I’ve missed out on three years of his life and you say she’s not had it easy.’

‘She had her reasons. Just give her time to explain. That’s all I’m asking.’

‘Well, thanks for your concern for your lying, dishonest friend. I’m seeing her later. We’ll discover what those reasons were. If I don’t like what I hear, I’ll be using my solicitor.’

Dora comes and stands alongside her daughter. She places an arm on her daughter’s shoulder. ‘What’s going on, Cam? Who needs a solicitor?’

‘Mum. It’s complicated. Leo is Trey’s father.’

‘Yeah, I worked that one out when I saw Beth go whiter than my legs are in December.’ She crosses her arms and fixes me with a stare. ‘Beth’s like a niece to me. She’s raised your son magnificently. Now yes, she’s not told you about your son for whatever reason, but it must be a good one because she’s an amazing woman. I hear you threaten her with a solicitor again and I’ll swing one of your own golf clubs at your kneecaps. Do you understand me?’

I step back in shock. The lovely woman who got me to come here has been replaced by a Rottweiler. I swear there’s foam in her mouth.

‘Dora.’ The woman’s husband comes over. ‘It's for Beth and Leo to sort out. It’s not our business.’ He grabs hold of her arm.

She shakes him off. ‘I’ll make it my business if he tries to take that little boy away from her, or threatens to.’

I put my hands up. ‘Hey, I just found out I’m a father. Like ten minutes ago. I’m in shock, lady. I didn’t realise there was a book on how I should act.’

‘There probably is, and if I know Dora, you’ll receive a copy by tomorrow.’ Her husband sighs. He offers his hand. ‘I’m Tim. Take a seat. We’ll clear the centre out as the party’s definitely over now.’ He turns to his wife. ‘Behave yourself while I help, Cam.’

She nods, but when she turns to me, it’s with a face that would scare Chucky.

‘I’ll be watching you closely,’ is all she whispers. I’m six foot two and she unnerves me.

The play centre empties until all who are left are the centre staff and Camille’s family. I’m introduced to Tyler and his girlfriend. I’m sure they’re a lovely family but my head’s all over the place and I want to leave. It would appear, however, that this isn’t an option for me right now.

Camille puts a cup of tea in front of me and takes a chair. ‘Okay, you’ve had a huge shock. Drink your tea and here, swipe through my phone. There are quite a few pictures of your son on there.’

And there are.

I pause on each picture, looking at his eyes, his smile, his hair, his bone structure. Trying to soak every pixel from the image into my consciousness. I recognise my father’s features in him, my own lips and chin, my eyes. He is divine. A gift from God. No matter how angry and confused I am with his mother right now, I can’t regret this child being born for a single second.

After a while, I reluctantly give up the phone. ‘Thank you. Well, I’d better be going now. I need time to get my head around things before I meet Beth.’

Camille nods. ‘Your mind must be spinning.’

‘I’m expecting to wake up any minute.’

‘It will take time to sort things out. Remember that little boy is at the heart of it. He has to come first.’

She doesn’t need to tell me that. I love him already and I’ve only met him once.

At home, I sit on the sofa in the vast house I live in alone. I try to imagine laughter emanating from a young child running around. Was his labour straightforward? God, I don’t even know my son’s birthday. Or what he weighed. Nor when he got his first tooth or when he first walked. I place my head in my hands. Beth has robbed me of so many firsts I can never get back. How will I ever forgive her? No matter what her intentions were, I just don’t know. It becomes too much. My body trembles and I can’t stop it. I swing my body so I’m lying on the sofa and cry like a fucking baby.

I jump when I receive a text notification and sit upright in a panic. My breath becomes rapid and my heart beats faster as I remember I have a son and need to see his mother. The text reveals a time and an address.

I have nothing for him. Should I take a gift to the house for him? I can’t go empty-handed. What would he like? I search a local sports store on my tablet and find the perfect gift, then head straight to a store I find stays open until late on a Saturday.

Then I’m on my way. On a journey to seek answers.

Beth opens the door. Her face is pale. Her eyes puffy and tear-stained. ‘Come in.’

‘Thank you.’

It’s all very polite.

I follow her through the small hallway and into the lounge. It's immaculate and smells of polish. She must have been cleaning since she left Kid Zone. Maybe trying to prove to me that she has brought our son up in a nurturing and safe environment. She forgets I know her. I might not have been with her for long but I know the love Beth can give out. Our son will have been treasured.

She reads my mind. My unanswered question of where her son is. Where our son is.

‘He’s in his bed. He was worn out from this afternoon. I understand you must be desperate to spend time with him but can we talk and arrange how that’s going to happen?’

‘Of course. You’ve turned my world upside down, Beth. I need time to process things too.’

We stand in the lounge. I rub the back of my neck where I can feel my muscles tightening. Beth scratches her lip repeatedly.

‘God this is so awkward,’ she says. ‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘I know. I’ve been through every possible emotion, through wanting to wring your neck, wanting to scream, then being so excited. I’m mentally exhausted. How about you get us a drink and we start from there? Let's say this is the first time we’ve seen each other and you’re telling me about your son. Tell me about his birth and all the wonderful things about him. Then maybe later, you can explain why I haven’t been a part of it.’

She nods her head and goes into the kitchen.

She brings me out a mocha. I take a sip and taste the sweetness. She remembers how I liked my coffee. Yet I don’t have sugar now. Things have changed. I let it go for now. There are bigger issues than sugar.

Beth gets a photograph album out from a sideboard. ‘There are thousands of photos of Trey on my computer and memory sticks because I can’t stop taking photos of him. I’ll copy a selection over for you. I print the odd ones out though and they’re in here.’

She sits on the sofa and lays the photo album on her knee. The only way we can both view it is if she gets closer. I see her bite her lip before she goes for it, closing the gap between us. I feel her thigh brush mine. My dick hardens, betraying bastard. It’s what caused this in the first place. I concentrate on the photographs as she turns the cover page over. There is my son - newborn. Beth is looking at the camera with what can only be described as a glow on her face, a look of utter joy despite what I imagine would have been hours of labour, though how would I know? Our son is held against her chest. She is so proud. There’s a deep ache, a hollowness in my chest. If I’d have known, how would I have been on that day? Would my face have been like hers?

‘Trey Andrew Woods was born on the Fourteenth April two thousand and thirteen after a seventeen-hour labour. He was a full two weeks overdue.’

‘Andrew?’

‘My father’s name.’

‘Right.’ That fact clarifies how little knowledge we have of each other.

Beth takes me through the rest of the album. I ask a few questions but mainly listen to Beth narrate our son’s first few years. I realise that she can tell me stories but I’ll never get those years back.

Album finished I stand up quickly, away from her. I tap my foot. Fidget. ‘He needs to learn I’m his dad. I want time with him. It’s my right.’

Beth’s shoulders slump. ‘I realise that. Come visit him tomorrow. We’ll tell him, together.’

‘Why can’t I see him now? I’m here now. He’s my son. I want to see him.’

‘Keep your voice down. He’s asleep. There are more important things than you.’

‘That’s easy for you to say,’ I sneer.

‘You can go upstairs to look at him if you keep quiet.’

I hate that she’s right. I want to wipe that sanctimonious look from her face. Instead, I follow her upstairs where she carefully opens the door a crack and I peer at my son. He’s out of his covers, stretched across his bed. He looks so peaceful. I want to hold him in my arms and yet he’s out of reach right now.

After a few minutes, Beth indicates that I need to go back downstairs. I reluctantly let her close his door.

As we stand in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs, my fingers tap against my thigh. I realise what I’m doing, stop and clench and flex my fist. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow. Then I want to spend some time with my son. Alone.’

Her eyes narrow and she widens her stance. Her shoulders straighten back and she looks like a Mama Lion who has her cub threatened. I guess that’s exactly what she is. ‘You can have him on your own when I recognise he’s used to you. When I agree it's safe.’

‘Are you saying I can’t be trusted? I’ll go to court if I have to.’

She sighs heavily, like I’m being a nuisance. ‘Leo, I’m not asking this because I don’t want you to see him. I’m his mum. I’ve taught him to be nervous of strangers. He’s not going to be your best friend tomorrow and just go out with you. Also, I’ve not seen you for years. I want to see a police check. I’m sure there’s nothing for me to be concerned about but I’m going to do it anyway. For my son.’

‘Our son.’

Her shoulders slump. The fight has left her.

‘Please don’t take me to court. I can’t afford to defend myself against you.’

Beth’s voice is becoming louder and more panic stricken with every sentence. Suddenly I visualise our roles reversed. A scared mother. A virtual stranger. But who’s to blame for that? It’s not me.

‘I’ve no intention of scaring my son. I have a DBS check that’s up to date and I’ll bring it with me tomorrow. You’ll find out I’m not so different from the man you abandoned four years ago.’

Beth looks downward. She says nothing.

‘I’ll tell you what. Let's make a temporary deal. I’ll not blame you for robbing me of three years of my son’s life if you try and trust me to do what’s best for him.’

‘Temporary?’ Beth looks confused.

‘Well, I’ve yet to hear the amazing reason I was kept from him.’

‘I didn’t want Trey to impede your career.’

I laugh before I realise her words aren’t a joke.

‘Let me clarify. You didn’t tell me you were pregnant because of my golf?’

‘That’s right.’

‘You’re taking the piss. It’s ridiculous.’

Her jaw tenses. ‘Not to me it isn’t.’

‘I could have played golf around having a son.’

‘Joe told me your mind needed to be focused. A baby would have interfered. He said you were the sort of bloke to give it all up to stay home. He made it clear what we would take away from you. I couldn’t do that. Make you feel you had to stay with us. You’d have resented us eventually.’

I bring my hand to my head as tension pounds my temple. I wince. ‘Joe knew?’

Joe. My agent and best friend. Past tense. When my career ended so did our friendship. Money grabbing fucker moved onto the next big thing, his paychecks from me gone. Joe knew and never said?

‘I came to visit you. To tell you. Joe was there. We talked.’

My voice rises. ‘I’ll fucking kill him!’

Beth gives me a warning look and uses her hand in the small of my back to move me back into the lounge.

‘He talked sense. You had a chance to be a huge success. You didn’t need to be trapped.’

My voice rumbles like thunder. ‘Do you not think I should have been the judge of that? Do I not have a brain in my head?’

‘I did what I thought was right at the time. You’d just landed a huge tour. We were fuck buddies.’

‘Is that what you thought we were? Truly?’

‘That’s how I thought you saw us. We met in hotel rooms.’

I wave her away. ‘Jesus Christ. I can’t take this. My head’s fucked.’

‘Leo, if I messed up I can’t rewind time. We can only move forward.’

‘I can’t take any more of this. God, I need to think.’ I rush to the hallway and grab my coat. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow. Er, I’ll call before I come over.’

‘Leo-’

‘Don’t.’

Beth nods. I can tell she’s barely holding it together. How can one part of me want to strangle her while the other wants to carry her up to bed and make up for lost time?

I head to my car. Then I race around the streets of Rotherham. Eventually, I’m pulled by a traffic cop. As soon as he sees it's me, an autograph and a warning and I’m on my way home.

Then I realise I didn’t get my photos.

A huge house in Whiston and not even a small photo of my son. My life is so fucked up.

Chapter Six

Tim

‘Camille and Tyler are joining us for lunch at The Red Lion today,’ Dora informs me. ‘Family meeting.’

My eyes widen. ‘Why? What’s the matter? Are they okay?’

‘They’re okay, but we need to talk about Beth.’

I sigh and scratch my eyebrow. ‘It’s nothing to do with us Dora.’

Dora’s voice rises. ‘Like Hell it isn’t. We’ve known that girl since she was small. We’re going to make sure she’s okay.’

‘She’s got her own parents to help her with that, love.’

‘The television zombies? They might have to break off from a programme to help. That ain’t going to happen.’

I’m wasting my breath. I can only attend the family meeting and attempt to reign in my partner's plans.

The Red Lion’s Yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes are the best. I’m heartily tucking in when Dora informs me I’m going to be taking golf lessons. Not just me, but Tyler too.

‘But I don’t even like golf,’ moans Tyler.

Dora shakes her head while swallowing a mouthful of food. ‘I don’t care. You and your dad need to keep a closer eye on this Leo. I need facts. Think of it as a spy mission. I want to know what went on between him and Beth.’

‘A spy mission? Oh, wow. I must wear black. Spies wear black don’t they? I’ll watch James Bond this afternoon, get some tips.’

My son’s lost it. His mother knows exactly how to play him.

‘So when am I taking this lesson?’ I ask her.

‘Tomorrow at seven pm. I’ve booked you one each at the moment. Book another if you feel you can get more information.’

‘You do know I already play golf?’ I huff.

‘Yeah, well you can learn how to play better, or are you suggesting your game’s so good you don’t need a lesson from a championship golfer?’

And now I’ve lost too. Dora’s bloody good at strategy. She should be used by the government.

Camille stops eating. ‘I wonder how she’s getting on?’

Dora puts a hand on Cam’s arm. ‘I’m sure she’ll be okay, love. She’ll just have to get used to Leo being around.’

‘I said I should have gone there. You wouldn’t be wondering if you’d let me go round like I wanted. I could have supervised Trey while they talked, and I’d have eavesdropped,’ adds Tyler. ‘Trey loves his Uncle Ty.’

‘Yeah cos he identifies with you on the same wavelength, toddler brain,’ says Cam.

‘Oi, kids,’ I reprimand them before they start the tit-for-tat arguing that drives me insane.

‘Such a mess.’ Dora adds. ‘What we need is for them to fall in love again.’

‘Oh my God, no,’ we all yell at once.

‘Why not? It would solve everything.’

Camille shakes her head at Dora. ‘Do not even think of doing any matchmaking, Mum, they need to work things out for themselves. They’ve got to establish a way of Leo being in Trey’s life.’

‘Exactly,’ says Dora. ‘So if they were back in love and lived happily ever after, it would be sorted, wouldn’t it?’

We all groan.

‘I’ll call her this week on the pretence of asking her about the business,’ adds Dora, ‘Check how the land lies.’

I take an extra large gulp of my pint of bitter.

‘By the way, I’ve been practising my chocolate penis making,’ Dora says rather too loudly.

I splutter out some of my beer.

‘I thought Beth said to hold off on that side of things?’ adds Camille.

‘Yes, but I still need to practice for when I’m ready to expand. I’ve been experimenting with chilli.’

‘I love dark chocolate with chilli,’ says Tyler, ‘but I’m not eating a penis for no-one. Can you make some tits? It’s sexist to only make dicks, Mum.’

‘Well, maybe, but this is a special type of chilli. I saw it on a Facebook ad and thought it was perfect. Hold on.’

She picks up her phone from the table and searches.

‘Here we go.’

‘Novelty penis shaped chillies. Oh my God,’ says Camille. ‘Some of them really do look like dicks.’

‘So I’m going to use them for a variety of choc willy.’

‘Dora. What have you been looking up that’s led to penis chilli’s being advertised in your sidebar?’ I ask.

‘I have no idea,’ she says sweetly.

‘Well just make sure you don’t touch mine when you’ve handled them,’ I add. The thought makes me cross my legs.

‘Gross. TMI,’ yells Cam.

I decide to change the subject. ‘So, let’s get this straight then,’ I say. ‘Myself and Tyler are having a golf lesson tomorrow night to extract as much information as we can out of Leo. Then you will call on Beth?’

‘Yes, at the same time. To see if she still has feelings for him. That’s what we’re doing. We must check if there’s anything there. Cam, you can come with me. We’ll make it a girly night. Bring wine.’

‘Beth doesn’t drink in the house in case Trey needs her.’

‘That girl needs to lighten up a bit. Oh, and you can come and pick me up because I can’t drink and drive.’

‘What about me?’ says Cam. ‘What if I want a drink?’

‘Okay, get Dylan to pick us up and take us, then we can both drink.’

‘I bet that bloke scarpers before your wedding day,’ Tyler says. ‘Cos his balls are retreating.’

Cam pulls out her tongue at her brother.

‘Oh, so that’s how you keep him.’

‘Ew, Tyler you did not just go there.’

‘Okay enough you two,’ I tell them. ‘Let's enjoy the rest of lunch now Operation Matchmaker is outlined.’

‘I love it when our family pulls together,’ says Dora. ‘I wonder if there’s a book on how to matchmake couples when children are involved.’

‘Do not Google matchmaking and children or you’ll be in jail with half the celebrities from the eighties,’ I tell her.

My joke receives an eye-roll in return, but a smile follows. I’ve still got it.

Chapter Seven

Beth

It’s safe to say I’ve barely slept. However, being a single mum to a three-year-old, I’m used to it. My mind whirled all night, going through differing scenarios: Trey hating Leo. Leo taking Trey away from me in a court case where he has a high performing lawyer. I’m slandered to the point where I never get to see my own son again.

Then my mind wandered. Remembered. My body jumping at every phone call, wondering if it was him. Songs on the radio reminding me of the night we met. Yearning looks. Not being able to get close enough to each other. Constantly touching each other like we couldn’t bear to be separated.

How I felt if things had happened at a different point in our lives and had stood a chance at a relationship. How I convinced myself, by how we kept meeting up, that it was nothing more than lust. Even though my heart told me otherwise.

After waking Trey and fixing breakfast, I send a text to Leo, saying that we are up and ready if he wanted to visit. My big girl pants are pulled up. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

An hour and a half later, Leo is back in my living room. This time, accompanied by a large carrier bag from a sports shop.

Trey looks at him and smiles. ‘Toy.’

‘Trey don’t be rude. It might not be for you.’

‘But toy.’ He pouts.

‘It is for you actually,’ Leo says and he pulls out a small golf set. The carry case is bright yellow and inside is a 7 iron, a putter and two golf balls.

This is my first clue that Leo needs to practice the art of being around children.

Leo hands Trey the putter. Before I can protest, Trey, being a three-year-old who has never seen one before, swings it and hits Leo straight in the shin with a large thwack.

‘Trey. No,’ I tell him as he takes another swing and knocks a vase off the side, smashing it into pieces in the process.

Trey heads straight for the pieces. I remove the putter from his hand and pass it over to Leo, who has yet to cease rubbing his leg. With Trey screaming at the loss of his putter and being stopped on his way to play with the broken vase, I hoist him on my side and move into the kitchen where I reach for a dustpan and brush. As I pass the fridge, I open the door and pass Trey a mini chocolate bar to distract him.

We walk back into the living room and I put Trey down at the side of Leo. ‘Keep an eye on him while I sweep this up.’

‘God, yes, sure. Sorry about the putter.’

‘It’s fine.’ I tell him. ‘You just need to think about what you buy. It’s not a golf putter to Trey. He’s never seen one before. It's a stick like the Ninja Turtles wield. You can show him what to do with it in the garden later. It’s not a big garden, but it should be okay.’

I’m clearing up broken vase when I’m hit in the back of the head. ‘Ow.’

I look around and see a golf ball on the floor, still rolling.

I place the dustpan and brush down with a bang. ‘Trey. No throwing in the house.’

‘I’m not doing very well with this toy thing, am I?’ says Leo, a bitter smile on his face.

‘Don’t think I got this right from my first day of parenting,’ I reassure him, softening my voice. ‘You want to see what he did to himself when I left him with a pot of yoghurt once. He looked like Casper the friendly ghost. I don’t think there was one part of him not covered in it.’

After emptying the dustpan into the kitchen bin, on my return, I sit on the sofa and decide to go for it. I perch Trey on my knee. ‘Trey, sweetie. This is my friend Leo. Leo is your daddy.’

Leo’s eyes never leave Trey’s as he waits for his reaction to this epic news.

‘You are mummeeee,’ Trey says then giggles. ‘I love you, Mummmeeee.’ He jumps down and then hangs off my knees, looking up at me angelically. ‘Mummy, choc choc.’

‘Nice try cheeky chops, but it's dinner time soon.’

Trey runs up to Leo. ‘Daddy, choc-choc.’

The little shit.

At this, I have to hold myself together and breathe deeply to stop myself from bursting into tears. Because the moment Trey says daddy, even for the sole purpose of gaining chocolate, Leo’s face takes on a love-struck, mooning expression. He sweeps Trey up in his arms and heads for the kitchen. ‘Is it in the fridge?’

I nod. How can I say no?

When they return, Trey is sitting around Leo’s waist, just like he does with me, one arm around his neck and the other holding his chocolate bar. Leo holds him tightly, scared he’s going to fall. Leo stands taller, shoulders back. Proud. ‘I know he doesn’t really have any concept of what a daddy is,’ Leo tells me. ‘But it’s a start.’

‘So you’ll have to keep showing him, won’t you?’ I tell him. ‘Would you like to stay for some lunch? I have a chicken roasting in the oven. Why don’t you teach Trey how to use the golf club and ball in the garden?’

‘Are you sure?’

‘I’m not sure of anything anymore.’ I push my hair out of my face. ‘But stay anyway.’

His gaze probes mine. ‘Is there anything in the garden I need to be aware of him being around?’

I laugh. ‘Just use your common sense. He’s not made of glass. Plus, to be honest, I’ll probably be watching you like a hawk through the window.’

‘He’s beautiful, Beth. We make beautiful children together. Sorry, I mean we made a beautiful child together.’ He swallows.

‘I’d better get on. Let me get you Trey’s coat.’ I dash to the hallway because the walls feel like they’ve moved in on me and I need to escape to breathe.

There’s no dining room in my small terrace, but that’s okay with me. It’s one less place I have to keep clean and tidy. I have a tiny table in the corner of the kitchen where we eat. Myself and Trey take our usual places around the small table. Leo joins us. He looks ridiculous. His tall frame doesn’t do very well at our cramped table. His leg keeps accidentally kicking mine, and he repeatedly apologises.

‘No, Leo. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise I’d be having a giant over for lunch.’

‘Fee fi fo fum,’ Trey yells.

‘What?’ Leo raises an eyebrow.

‘Watch and learn,’ I tell him. I recite the nursery rhyme while I get up from my seat and take thudding steps towards Trey, who shrieks with delight. I pull up his tiny tee to expose his soft belly and as I shout that I’ll grind his bones to make my bread. I blow raspberries on his tummy as Trey howls with laughter.

‘Again. Again.’

I sing it twice more before telling him he must eat his lunch before I’ll do it again.

‘It's a delight to watch you two together,’ Leo tells me. ‘You’re a natural at this mother thing, Beth.’

My mouth goes dry. ‘No, I’m not. I’ve muddled through the best I can.’

Leo holds a hand up. ‘We may have not been together long, but I know enough about you that you would never muddle through motherhood. You’d give it your all.’

‘I do give it my all. I’ve still had to muddle through. There’s no one-size fits all guide to being a parent.’ I suck on my top lip before adding. ‘I’m so sorry, Leo.’

He wipes his mouth with the piece of kitchen roll I’ve put out in place of a napkin. ‘Sorry doesn’t bring back the last three years.’

He says it quietly but I flinch at his words.

‘But thank you for raising our son to be this gorgeous delight. You will have to give me time, Beth. Just like I need to get used to parenthood. I need time to be able to accept what’s happened over the last few years.’

I nod.

‘Would you ever have told me? If I hadn’t seen you that day?’

I shake my head. ‘No, Leo. But that’s more about me than you. The more time has passed, the harder it's been to envisage getting in touch with you. The fear of losing my son has been too great. When you’re a parent, it's crippling,’ I confess. ‘I spend every waking hour fretting that I will put him in danger somehow. I childproof the house, but he still falls over and cuts his knees. My parents have him every Friday night so I can have some time to myself, or see Cam, but I barely enjoy myself because I’m wondering what he’s doing without me. He’s just started nursery and I immerse myself in making chocolates to distract myself from worrying if he’s being bullied by other children or assaulted by staff.’

‘Damn, I never thought of any of those things before now,’ says Leo. ‘Perhaps as you learn to let me in, you might learn to let go a little?’

‘I’m not sure it's possible,’ I tell him. ‘I think it's part of being a parent. Prepare for grey hair.’

Leo rubs his shaved head. ‘I’ll still look cool with a little salt and pepper,’ he winks.

His meal finished, he gets up and stretches his legs. He looks in pain from being cramped up.

‘How about next Sunday you could come to mine instead?’ he says.

‘Next Sunday?’

‘Yes. Is that okay with you?’

‘I thought you’d demand to see him sooner than that.’

‘When parents are apart it's usually weekend access right, and then a midweek?’

I nod.

‘So let’s say next Sunday and then the following Wednesday. Then perhaps the Sunday after that you’d consider me taking him out for an hour on my own.’

I close my eyes. It’s all happening so fast.

‘Beth, I’ve heard what you’ve said, but I want to spend time with him on my own. He has all my family to be introduced to as well, eventually.’

I’d seriously never given that a thought. That Trey has a whole other part of his family to meet. My heart thuds with fear.

‘We’ll take it slow, Beth,’ he promises. ‘It's been three years. What’s a little while longer? One step at a time, hey? So lunch at mine next Sunday? That’s all you have to focus on right now.’

‘Next Sunday. Okay. Lunch at yours.’

‘I won’t get cramped up there, and it gives me a week to research and child proof my house.’

I laugh. ‘Yeah sorry about our table. I’ll get you a lap-tray for next time.’

‘Great. Now is there a park nearby? I’d like to take Trey on the swings.’

‘Park. Yay,’ yells Trey.

‘Do you want Mummy and Daddy to take you to the park,’ I ask Trey.

‘Just Daddy,’ says Trey. ‘Daddy choc-choc.’

‘Nice try, Buster,’ I tell him. ‘I might let you have an ice-cream if you’re a good boy.’

Chapter Eight

Leo

I’m rather taken aback when Tim and Tyler Turner turn up for a golf lesson. Mainly because Tyler’s dressed like a cat burglar. If I turned out the lights, all we’d see are his eyes.

‘Oh, hey guys. Nice to see you again.’ I hold out my hand to shake. Tim shakes it and smiles. Tyler grasps my hand while squeezing it a little and giving me what can only be termed a suspicious glare.

‘So have you played golf before?’

‘Yeah, we always had a couple of games of pitch and putt and crazy golf when we went to the seaside, didn’t we, Dad?’

‘Well, golf is a little different to that.’ I frown.

‘I’ve played golf several times,’ says Tim, ‘but I’d like to check out if I’m doing things right. I’ve never had a lesson. Tyler needs a beginner’s guide.’

I nod. ‘I’ll take you through a swing in a moment and see how you manage that.’ I open my laptop. ‘Give me a minute to set this up to record a few notes. You’ll be able to take these away with you, along with recommendations for further lessons.’

‘How much are the lessons?’ asks Tyler.

‘At my level, I charge £40 for a thirty-minute lesson. There’s another PGA professional here who charges £25 if you’d rather?’

‘No.’ Tyler makes notes in a small pocket notebook. ‘Just wondering. Mum’s paying.’

‘I think you’ll find I’m paying,’ says Tim, ‘and we’ve already had five minutes.’

‘Don’t worry I’ll start the clock once we get to the actual lesson. Anything else, Tyler? You look like you have more questions?’

‘Yes.’ He consults his notebook. ‘Do you still get an income from when you were famous?’

I massage my temples. ‘Well, I still have a few endorsements, but I have money in the bank too.’ I take a seat. ‘What else does your mother or sister want to know?’

‘Damn. Busted already. Doesn’t look like I’ll be Bourne anytime soon,’ Tyler huffs.

‘You’re Bourne all right,’ says Tim. ‘Born stupid.’

‘It’s Mum really. She wants to-’

Tim interrupts. ‘Dora wants to make sure you are settled and ready to be part of Trey’s life. Beth’s been like an extra daughter at times. We’ve known her since she was a little girl. She’s protective and looking out for her, that’s all. That’s what brought us here. Though I do want my lesson.’

‘I understand. You can reassure Dora I’m going nowhere. I've got a solid set-up here and I love my home. I want to get to know my son. Beth and I have agreed to take it slow.’

‘What your relationship? Are you together again?’

‘Tyler!’ warns Tim.

‘God, no. Nothing like that. No, slow in my becoming involved in Trey’s life. We’ve agreed that I shouldn’t overwhelm him. He needs to get used to me being around. I realised yesterday how much you need to be on your toes around a little one. They can get up to all sorts of mischief.’

‘Believe me, it doesn’t stop when they get older,’ says Tim, nodding his head towards Tyler.

‘So there’s nothing between you and Beth?’

‘No. Why, are you interested?’ I stand up straighter.

Tyler takes a step backwards. ‘Ew, God no. She’s like my little sister. Anyway, I’ve got a girlfriend.’

‘Well if this question is for your notebook, I’m going to say no comment.’

‘Tyler, enough with the questions. You’re embarrassing us.’

Tyler pouts. ‘It’s not my fault you haven’t taken your turn. I’d like to see you go home to Mum with no information.’

‘Your mum’s got to learn she’s not Cilla Black. Just because she set up that couple in Center Parcs and kicked you up the arse, she thinks she’s Cupid.’

Cilla Black. Set couples up. Oh, so that’s what Dora’s trying to find out.

‘I’ve met Dora. Believe me, I’ll do my best not to do anything to upset Beth. Dora threatened to kneecap me with my own clubs. Tell her Trey is the focus, not me and Beth. Though I’d say it's too late. I don’t know if I could ever trust her again.’

‘Beth’s a lovely girl,’ says Tim. ‘She never spoke about Trey’s dad. Said he was an idiot who wanted nothing to do with the child. With that response we never pursued it.’ His voice hardens. ‘She must have had her reasons, that’s all I’m saying.’

‘Oh, she did.’ I agree. ‘They were ridiculous, ill-informed reasons, and now we’ve got to try to find some common ground where we can proceed from. Now talking of ground. Let's get outside and get this lesson underway.’

They nod and follow me to the driving range.

Well, who’d have thought it. Tim stands like an ice sculpture whereas Tyler has a natural swing.

‘Tim. You’re standing too straight on. Flare your feet out a little. That’s better. Okay, show me your swing.’

Tim obliges.

‘No. You’re over-cocking it.’ I gesture for Tim to move to the side. ‘Here, let me show you. Bend from the waist.’

‘That’s what I tell Lindsay,’ says Tyler. ‘When I’m over-cocking it.’

‘You’re over-cocky. That’s what you are,’ says Tim.

‘Ah, Dad. Don’t worry. It’ll be because my limbs are still youthful, whereas yours are knackered. Instead of yelling bogey when I play with you, I’m going to yell fogey.’

Tim turns to me. ‘There will be times as a father, Leo, where your patience is sorely tested. I recommend deep breaths. Very deep breaths, followed by a pint.’

‘Well as you’re my last lessons of the day, shall we adjourn to the clubhouse?’

‘Sounds good to me.’

I enjoy spending time with the Turners in the bar. Now the notebook has been put away, they seem genuinely interested in me as a person, beyond my being Trey’s father. They enquire about my career. How I ended up being a professional.

‘My dad used to take me golfing. He loved the game. I showed an aptitude, so he paid for me to take lessons. I took part in junior competitions and began to place highly. Then I won. As I got older, I competed in amateur tournaments. Eventually, I turned professional, obtained sponsorship. Life was fantastic until two years ago.’

‘Your accident?’ says Tim.

‘Yeah. Not a night out of the ordinary. Travelling back home like any other, but a sheep had escaped its enclosure and as I rounded a bend, there it was. I swerved to avoid it and the car turned over in the ditch. I was lucky in a lot of ways, a broken arm, broken wrist and torn ligaments in my leg. Could have been a lot worse. In terms of my golf career, though, I lost my precision. What made me a Pro-player.’

‘So should you be doing lessons?’ Tyler asks. ‘If you can’t play anymore.’

‘Oh, I can play. Seems like I’ll need to show you sometime.’ I wiggle an eyebrow at him. ‘But I’m no longer championship level.’

‘Must be difficult,’ adds Tim.

‘At first, it was devastating, but then I got settled here. Travelling around for all those years was so fast-paced, I didn’t have time to think that life was passing me by. I like my life now. Hopefully, it’s going to get even better now I have a son here.’

‘So where’s your house and how big is it?’ Tyler asks while looking toward his knees.

‘You wanting an invitation, big boy?’ I wink.

Tyler blushes.

‘Just messing with you, Tyler. I live in a detached four bedroomed cottage in Whiston.’

‘How’ve they fitted four bedrooms into a cottage. They’re tiny aren’t they?’ he asks.

‘It’s maybe not what you’d consider a cottage.’

‘So it’s a mansion?’

‘Not quite. Anyway, that’s enough of the questions. I’m guessing that it's the notebook you’re messing with on your lap and not that you’re adjusting your penis in public. Beth will see the house for herself on Sunday. She and Trey are coming for lunch.’

‘God, no I would never.’ His notebook goes away again.

‘So, Tyler. You and this Lindsay. Is she the one, do you think? Has your relationship got potential?’

‘Hey? What?’

‘I’d say it's only fair. I’ve answered all your questions, time to ask some of my own.’

Tim chuckles and picks up his beer.

‘Got any popcorn? This should be entertaining,’ he winks at me. ‘I’m warming to you, Leo.’

Chapter Nine

Beth

I needed a night to myself after the last few days, but no. My plan was to get Trey in bed and then curl up on the sofa. With time to mull things over. I should never make plans. They never come off. Instead, my friend is here with her mother. Dora is carrying a bottle of wine.

She thrusts the bottle at me. ‘Get that into some glasses.’

‘I don’t drink.’

She sighs. ‘Still? We’ll have one on your behalf then.’

‘Trey in bed?’ asks Camille.

‘No, I’ve let Leo have him.’ I say flippantly.

Two pairs of eyes widen and there’s a simultaneous ‘What?’

I poke my tongue into my cheek and exhale. ‘Of course he’s in bed. It’s gone eight. Now let me get you these drinks while I have a nice cup of tea.’

They take a seat in the lounge while I sort out the drinks. I bring theirs in first.

‘See if you had a man at home, you’d be able to have a glass of wine.’

I love Dora but she’s about three seconds away from me exploding. My fist clenches. ‘I have a man at home. Trey.’

‘You know that’s not what we mean.’

‘Dora…’ I don’t want to be rude to Cam’s mother, but she’s up in my business and doesn’t belong there. ‘I’ve got to get used to Leo being in Trey’s life, and from that, he’ll be in mine for the foreseeable future. However,’ I hold my hand up as I can see she’s about to say something further. ‘There is no romance on the horizon. I believe the man is holding onto his temper because he’s a nice bloke. He must want to throttle me for what I’ve done.’

I hand them the wine. I return to the kitchen and have a swig from the bottle. It can’t hurt.

I re-enter the living room, carrying my cuppa. ‘Sorry,’ says Camille. ‘We wanted to check in on you, see if we could help in any way. I was bringing my mum so she could look after Trey if he disturbed. Give us time to talk. I should have known she’d start the minute she walked in.’ Cam gives her mum a pointed stare.

Dora shrugs. ‘I told you I was going to check if my business partner was okay.’

‘I’m fine Dora honestly. Leo wants to be in Trey’s life and he’s agreed to take it slow. That’s all I can ask for.’

Dora wrinkles her nose. ‘No, it’s not. You can ask for child support, or a shag. I’d ask for a shag if I were you. He’s like a caramel bar, smooth chocolate on the outside and sweet in the middle. You just want to bite him and have his gooey centre on your tongue.’

‘Mother,’ admonishes Cam. ‘Too far.’

I start to laugh. Hysterical laughter that creeps up on me from nowhere. One minute I’m pissed off, the next I’m gasping for air, tears rolling down my cheeks. I have to hold the edge of the sofa for support I’m laughing so hard.

‘Oh, Dora. What are you like?’

‘Not blind that’s for sure.’ She winks.

After that, Dora and Cam make polite conversation. I’m not sure what they want from me. They’re pissing me off. I wish they’d go home. I don’t realise I’ve sighed out loud.

‘Do you want to ask Dylan to fetch us back, love?’ asks Dora.

‘I’m sorry.’ I tell her.

‘No. We’re sorry. We wanted to help but we’re crowding you when you’ve enough on your plate. Just know we’re here if you need us.’

Cam gets out her phone.

‘No, stay. I need to talk.’

Cam puts her phone back in her bag, ‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes.’

I absentmindedly stroke the side of my mug. ‘Leo’s being great given the circumstances. He’s agreed to go slowly and we’ve arranged that I’ll take Trey to his house next Sunday. The thing is, yes he could have been a lot more demanding, but my mind is racing ahead anyway. On Sunday, I’ll be looking around his house and I’ll be advising him on baby proofing for our son, which means that at some point, Trey will stay with Leo, and -’

I burst into noisy sobs.

‘Oh my God. I never thought,’ says Dora as she envelopes me in a huge hug. ‘Apart from Friday nights he’s never been out of your sight, has he?’

I shake my head and sniff, ‘… safe there,’ sniff, ‘can ring any time I want.’

‘I’m sure it’ll be the same with Leo. He’s not far away. I’m sure he has a telephone, and if you’re going slow, ask if he can go for a couple of hours first. Build it up.’

‘I know,’ sniff, ‘but I’ve never had to share him before. He’s mine.’

Dora tilts her head and sucks on her lip for a moment. ‘He’s not, though, is he, love? He’s both of yours, and they need to get to know each other.’

I nod my head. Cam hands me a tissue and I blow my nose.

‘So, step one. You spend some time at his house on Sunday. Then why don’t you do something like go to Meadowhall? You could wait in a coffee shop or restaurant while he takes Leo to a couple of toy shops. That won’t take more than an hour, then they could join you for something to eat and drink.’

I sniff again. ‘That sounds an okay idea actually. Yeah maybe that could work.’

‘How is it seeing Leo again?’ Cam ventures.

‘You mean do I still have feelings for him?’ I close my eyes for a moment. Then I focus my gaze on my best friend. ‘I’m not sure my feelings ever went away, but they complicate things. Anyway, I’m sure I’m the last thing on Leo’s mind. I bet he hates me. I need to put Trey first. It needs to be about our son.’

‘Well, I’m not sure I agree,’ says Dora. ‘I think you need to carve out a little time for yourself. You were on constant high alert, even before Leo returned. I’ve seen you and your house. It’s like you’re permanently afraid.’

‘I am,’ I agree. ‘Because I don’t want to be judged as a single mother. People saying I can’t cope. I’m proud of the way I’ve raised Trey. He lives in a clean and tidy home. He’s loved.’

‘That won’t change if he gets to leave a couple of toys out now and again.’ Dora looks around the house.

‘I can’t,’ I admit. ‘I’m scared he’ll trip or fall.’

She nods. ‘I once sat Cam on a windowsill. She was enjoying herself staring out at the garden. I totally forgot and turned around to put a mug away. The split second I remembered it was too late. Her falling off the side happened in slow motion. She landed on the floor and cried. I felt sure I’d killed her, or caused brain damage at the very least. But there wasn’t a mark on her. Three minutes later, she was giggling as the neighbour’s cat had jumped on the outside windowsill.’ She places a hand on my arm. ‘What I’m trying to say, is that you can put every safety measure available in place, but you can’t be switched on 24/7, and you can bet your life in that one second something will happen. Most of the time it’ll be okay, and if it isn’t, you deal with it anyway because you’re a mum.’

‘Are you sure it was me who fell and not Tyler?’ asks Camille. ‘It would explain a lot.’

‘No, it was you, love,’ Dora replies. ‘Not to be rude but you were a fat baby. You bounced.’

I giggle at Cam’s horrified face.

Dora stands up and knocks imaginary fluff from her trousers. ‘Right, well we’re off now. Cam, ring Dylan and tell him we’ll be outside the Co-op. It's time to leave Beth alone.’

‘You can stay until he gets here.’

‘No. We can see you have a lot on your mind, love.’ She puts on her coat and shoes. ‘Plus, Cam and I need some gossip time to discuss you before we get in the car.’

‘No scheming, Dora, please. I’m working things through with Leo, slowly. We’ll get there. Please don’t interfere.’

Cam looks at her mum with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

‘Would I?’ says Dora. She kisses my cheek. ‘Night sweetheart. Remember we love you and we’re always here for you.’ She lowers her voice. ‘Now, I wonder how Tim and Tyler got on with their golf lesson?’

‘What?’ I yell, but Dora closes the door with a wink.

God help me.

Chapter Ten

Leo

I’ve never known a week take so long to pass. I don’t think I can do what I said and take it slow. My son’s face appears in my waking thoughts. He’s in my dreams. More than that, though, I can’t stop thinking about Beth. The truth is, I’m looking forward to seeing her again almost as much as I am my son. My brain, the common sense part warns me against falling for her again. However, my heart and my libido are on the opposite end of the scale.

Finally, I see them walk up my driveway. Beautiful, stubborn Beth refused to let me pick them up, saying she’d got him around places for the last three years, so she could get here. Trey is skipping down the driveway, stopping to kick the odd stone. Beth is telling him off and pointing to his shoes. I’d buy him twenty pairs of shoes to see that delight on his face, but then I laugh and realise Beth would murder me if I let him kick stones. We’ll stick with the football I’ve bought him instead, and outside. I’ve remembered. Balls outside.

Beth is unaware I’m watching them from an upstairs window. She straightens her blouse and takes a deep breath before knocking on the door. I see her notice the doorbell and push on that. Then Trey yelling that he wants to press it. She picks him up and lets him. I try not to run down the stairs in my excitement.

I open the door. ‘Hey.’ I smile.

‘Hey,’ she replies. Then she bites on her lip. She’s dressed in a baggy floral blouse and black jeans. Her feet encased in sandals. She has a massive bag over her shoulder. Women and their handbags. What do they carry around?

Trey jumps in front of me. ‘Grrrr.’

‘Are you a tiger?’ I ask him.

He nods. ‘Grrrr.’

‘I’m scared of tigers. Please don’t chase me.’

So I head through the hallway, jogging slowly while a giggling Trey chases after me. Beth closes the door behind her and cautiously walks through, her eyes looking around for things Trey may catch himself on. I’ve had six days to study baby and child sites. To read up on hazards. My house is as childproof as can be.

‘Drink?’ I ask.

‘Do you have some water? I’m a little warm. Black jeans on a hot day. Not the best idea.’

My eyes are drawn to them. She bends over to wipe Trey’s nose. I see how her jeans caress her backside. I want to tell her to take them off if she’s hot. Damn it, man. Stop it. The trouble is, I remember that bottom naked. That I’ve smacked it with my hand. I’m hyper aware that at the top of her right thigh there’s a mole. Which I’ve kissed on many an occasion. She has a scar on her left knee from trying to jump a wall in her childhood and missing.

‘Are you going to get it then?’ Beth raises an eyebrow at me. I swear she knows my thoughts.

‘Sorry, yeah, I was miles away. What does Trey want to drink?’

Beth opens the large bag and extracts a beaker. ‘He’s all set thanks.’ So far, she’s been in the bag for tissues, and now a drink. I spy a banana and some packets and boxes. I walk over, ‘Is this like a child-friendly bag?’

She opens it further to show me. There are wipes, a plastic knife and fork, a spoon, small bottles of food. Spare pants, ointments, plasters. Toys. So much stuff.

‘Looks like I need to go shopping later.’

‘Kids need a lot of stuff. It's less now than when he was potty training, although I still have emergency pants for him as he has the odd accident.’

I lift it. ‘Goodness. It's as heavy as my golf clubs,’ I jest. ‘Right. Water coming up. I’ll add ice and a slice of lemon. Make it posh.’

‘As it comes out of the tap is fine,’ she says.

I know it is, but I want to make the effort.

I return with two plastic beakers of water. I open the French doors and indicate that we should go outside. Trey runs into the garden and takes off to explore. I see the panic on Beth’s face.

‘It’s okay. My garden is completely enclosed and child proof. There are a few plants and shrubs, but I’ve no problem if he kicks a football in them.’

‘I can see a Rose bush.’

‘Does he know roses have thorns?’

‘Yes but he might forget.’

‘Beth. Let him learn. I don’t mean remove the fireguard and let him burn himself, but if he scratches himself on a thorn, he’ll learn to be careful.’

‘Are you going to teach me how to be a parent?’ she snaps.

‘If I think it calms you down a bit, yes,’ I snap back.

‘I’m sorry.’ Beth lowers her eyes. ‘This is hard for me. I’m not used to sharing.’

I know Beth is an only child, so this goes back further than her and Trey.

‘Well let’s just enjoy our drinks in the sunshine and watch Trey.’

I’ve bought him a paddling pool and filled it with plastic balls like they have in Camille’s play centre. I expect Trey to dive into it, but instead, he reaches for one ball at a time and throws each one as far as he can in the garden. Then he takes off at a sprint, falling over one and landing on his bottom. His face contorts with laughter and he shouts, ‘splat’, looking at his mum.

‘Splat,’ she shouts back and laughs.

I tilt my head towards her. ‘Splat?’

‘I make a joke of most of his falls so he doesn’t become mardy,’ she explains. ‘If he yells splat, I know he’s okay. If he cries, then I’m aware he’s really hurt himself, rather than just wobbled over.’

‘Right.’ I rub my forehead. ‘There’s a lot to learn.’

‘I was thinking,’ Beth says quickly. ‘After lunch. I thought we might go to Meadowhall if you’d drive us there. There are two toy shops near each other. You could take Trey to them if you like, or any other shop, it doesn’t have to be a toy shop. I could have a coffee and let you two be by yourself. You’d need to keep hold of his hand.’

‘Really? I’d love that.’ I don’t realise I’ve put my hand over hers on the garden table until I feel her tense up. Her body stiffens.

‘Sorry,’ I withdraw my hand and pick up my beaker. ‘Do you want a refill?’

She shakes her head. ‘Thank you for thinking of plastic beakers. So many people give me a glass. Often they give Trey a glass if we go out to eat. That’s why I always take a beaker for him.’

‘Good to know,’ I say and head back to the kitchen.

My God. She’s letting me be with Trey on my own for an hour. This is huge progress. I’ll need to borrow her bag. Funny, I realise I don’t give two hoots that I’ll be carrying a bag covered in a multi-coloured flower pattern. While I remember, I head upstairs to get my camera. I want to take photos of Trey in the garden. When I return, he’s on his mother’s knee clutching a packet of raisins. Beth strokes his hair as she smiles at him. I snap a few photos before she notices I’m back. Then I kick a football with Trey and show him golf moves with an identical set I’ve bought for my house. My camera never gets a break. I can’t stop taking pictures. These need to last me until midweek.

‘What time do you want lunch?’ I ask Beth.

‘Trey usually eats at twelve-thirty? Is that okay?’

‘Sure.’

‘What are you feeding us?’

‘I didn’t know what Trey ate, so I bought a selection of things. Also, I could make him a sandwich. There’s salad, and I bought sausage rolls and hot dogs.’

‘Well, they’re usually party food, but your son adores sausage rolls and hot dogs, so if you do him a cheese or ham sandwich to go with it, that would be fine for him today.’ Beth reaches into her bag and pulls out a pad and pen. ‘I’ll write you a list of his likes and dislikes. Sorry, I never gave it a thought.’

‘I’d appreciate that. Thank you.’

‘S’okay.’

‘What would you like for lunch?’

‘Anything.’

‘So is spare ribs, spicy fries, coleslaw and salad okay.’

Her breath hitches. ‘That will be fine.’

We went out for a meal just once in our short relationship. That’s what she ate. She knows I remember. I excuse myself to fix the food.

‘Oh damn.’ Beth bites her lip.

‘What?’

‘You need a car seat. We can’t take Trey in your car without one. Sorry, Leo. Looks like shopping will have to be another day.’

I place a hand on my stomach. ‘No. You stay here. I’ll get one. Relax in the garden with Trey. I’ll be as quick as I can.’

‘You sure?’

‘Yes.’ There’s no way I’m giving up the chance of time on my own with my son.

There’s a shopping centre not too far away with a store that sells car items, bicycles - that sort of thing. Within fifteen minutes I’m out of my car and browsing the aisles.

Group 1, Group 2, Group 3. What the hell? Isofix compatible? Front-facing, rear-facing? What is all this jargon? I’ve walked into yet another world with a whole new language. I can feel myself grow hot.

‘Can I help you?’ asks an Assistant.

‘Yes please.’ I almost fall on her with gratitude.

Beth

Well, what would you do if you were left in the house of your ex alone? I gather Trey up and snoop around. The rooms are all very plain. It’s clean and functional but lacks depth. There are no pictures on the walls. No personal items such as photo frames. I tentatively enter Leo’s bedroom. Trey tries to wriggle out of my arms and he weighs a tonne, but I tell him we must be careful and I’ll put him down for a moment. I’m not sure what I expected to see in Leo’s room. Maybe I was secretly hoping he’d have a photo of me in here? I exhale, annoyed at my own stupidity. Trey starts to whine and attempts to lean out of my arms to grab Leo’s alarm clock, which is shaped like a large golf ball. The one single item that gives some clue to the man who lives here. I quickly take him back downstairs. Once back in the garden, he soon forgets what he coveted a few seconds before. Or so I believe.

Leo returns, a triumphant grin on his face.

‘Got it. It’s all in place. So are you ready to go?’

‘Yes, of course.’ I stand up from my garden chair. ‘Trey,’ I shout. ‘Time to go out to the toy shops with Mummy and Daddy.’

Trey runs over quickly at the mention of toys.

‘Ball clock.’

Shit.

Leo looks at him and then at me, a crease forming on his forehead.

‘What’s he saying?’

I wave my hand. ‘I’m not sure. Sometimes toddlers make no sense at all.’

Trey runs inside. Leo and myself go rushing after him. He points up the stairs.

‘Want Ball Clock toy.’

Leo looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

‘Sorry.’ I mutter.

‘I’d have done the same,’ he says and laughs.

Leo

I drive us to Meadowhall. Beth heads into a coffee shop as planned. She passes me what I call the survival bag and repeats herself for the hundredth time. I must hold his hand. That Trey must hold my hand. Do I have her number? There are several other instructions before she eventually kisses Trey, telling him to have fun with Daddy and lets us leave.

‘Shall Daddy buy Trey some Lego?’ I ask him walking into the shop.

Trey’s eyes light up as he’s assaulted by multi-colours. I quickly realise that nearly everything in the store is too old for him. After a few pouts and stamping feet, he’s satisfied when he has a bag of Duplo in his hand that’s almost as tall as he is. I realise I’m going to have to assert some authority with him some time or Beth is going to get annoyed. However, I figure I’ll be forgiven today as its part of the activity. While the young woman behind the counter scans the item, she talks to Trey.

‘Is this for you, sweetie? What a lucky boy.’ She beams at me.

‘Raisin.’ Trey yells at the top of his voice.

‘Excuse me.’ I tell the assistant and put my flowery bag on the counter to get him a box. I hand them to him.

‘No.’ He throws the packet on the counter.’

‘You said raisin.’ I ask bewildered.

‘There. Raisin.’ He points.

I follow the direction of his finger, which is pointing at the other assistant behind the counter. She has a dark mole on her cheek. Our assistant is trying her best not to laugh. ‘Trey. Look at your Lego.’ I try to distract him.

‘Raisin. There, Daddy, raisin.’

The other assistant turns a bright shade of red but doesn’t look at us. I’m mortified that she knows exactly what Trey means. I guess it’s not the first time it's happened. Picking up our purchases, I once again state loudly, ‘Here you go, Trey, your raisins.’ Then I hurry us out of the store before he can say anything else.

If I think that’s the end of my embarrassment - it's not.

In the Disney Store, surrounded by other parents with very young children, Trey sticks his thumb in his mouth. He then pulls it out super fast and yells. ‘I’m fucking my sum.’

Parents heads spin around so fast I’m surprised they don’t fall off. I see one cover their child’s ears.

I look at Trey completely confused. Where has he learned that language? I can’t believe Beth’s taught him those words.

He sticks his thumb in his mouth again, sucks on it and pulls it out. ‘I’m fucking my sum.’

Suddenly I realise. Fucking my sum, sucking my thumb. He’s transposing letters.

‘Aren’t you clever sucking your thumb,’ I pronounce the words slowly. I see relieved faces from other parents around me. Thank God for that. I buy Trey a talking Woody and a Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story and leave the store as fast as I can.

We head back to the coffee shop. We’ve only been forty minutes.

‘Mummy. Mummy.’ Trey yells.

Beth stands up as we reach her. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Yeah. Fine. I’ve spent up.’

Beth looks at the two gigantic bags in my hand.

‘I know.’ I tell her. ‘I’ll learn to reign it in.’

‘Well, if you find the secret, let me in on it.’ She winks. ‘I can never help myself. Just one more thing, I think.’

‘So we have a spoiled son?’

‘Kind of.’

‘Well, there are worse things in life.’

‘True.’

‘Do you want a coffee?’ Beth asks.

‘Yep, I certainly do. I’ll get it. Let me get Trey’s drink out for him. I open the bag and extract his beaker. ‘There you go Trey.’

‘Well I’m very impressed,’ Beth tells me. ‘For a first attempt, that seems to have been a success.’

Trey pulls his thumb out of his mouth as he takes the beaker. ‘I’m fucking my sum,’ he yells loudly.

Beth fixes me with a stare and a raised eyebrow.

‘I’m going to get my drink,’ I tell her and hurry off to the counter.

Chapter Eleven

Camille

We’re two months on and my mother is about to bang Beth and Leo’s heads together.

‘It’s so bloody obvious they’re in love with each other. Have you seen them? Every time one turns away the other one stares at them. They’re driving me insane.’

‘Now you know what we all feel like,’ deadpans my dad.

‘Yes, Mum, but it’s their business. Things are going well. The counsellor is pleased with their progress.’

‘Counselling. Huh. Leo should have saved his money. I could have put them straight. He could have paid for a honeymoon with it instead.’

‘Dora, you are going too far again. The counsellor is qualified to get them to work through the issues the last three years have thrown at them.’

‘You need to stop going to the clubhouse with Leo. I don’t think you need any more lessons.’

‘I like Leo and I’m enjoying his lessons. He says I’m more mime artist than ice sculpture now, I’m developing fluidity.’

‘Only fluidity you’re developing is your bladder being full after too many pints in the clubhouse. Stop ringing your son for a lift home. He’s got his own life now.’

‘I don’t mind, Mum.’

‘Yes, you do.’

‘Can we please get back to the matter in hand?’ I tell them. ‘That is. Progress is being made with Beth, Leo and Trey and that’s great. Leo’s having him for a full overnight soon.’

‘Yes.’

We all turn towards my Mum.

‘Do you know what Beth needs?’ She’s nodding her head. Oh God. Another Mother idea.

‘Peace and quiet?’ I say.

‘A night out. A lovely night out at a club where she can let her hair down. A night where she can be hit on by complete creeps and realise what she’s got in front of her face.’

‘What if she meets the love of her life?’ I ask her.

‘In a nightclub? Doubtful. Anyway, you’ll be with her, ready to get rid of anyone who seems nice.’

‘Mum, I don’t want to go clubbing.’

‘So you don’t want to help your friend?’

‘That’s not what I said.’

‘Fine.’ My mum raises a hand. ‘Maybe it’s a jealousy thing. You don’t want to see your friend happy because then she’ll have a partner and a child and be in front of you in the whole peer group pressure stakes.’

‘I would be pleased for my friend.’

‘So you’ll do it then?’

‘Oh my God, all right, Mum. Just one night.’

‘One night. A horrendous night out. Get her drunk and make sure she’s surrounded by idiots. Get her on the dance-floor. Then somehow, I need to get Leo to come to her rescue. Hmm.’

At this point, my dad picks up my mum’s giant Yorkshire Pudding with his fork and stuffs it in her open mouth.

‘Give it a rest.’ He tells her. ‘You’re an employee in her professional business, not part of her personal business.’

Mum grabs the pud and puts it back on her plate.

‘And it’s going extremely well, my involvement in her professional business. From strength to strength in fact. My chocolate willies make their professional debut at a hen party next Friday night.’

‘Lindsay threw my chocolate boobs in the bin. Said I was making her feel inadequate. Women are weird,’ adds Tyler.

Chapter Twelve

Beth

Too many mornings now I’ve woken up in a sweat after dreaming of a tangled sheet tussle with my ex. This has got to stop. Too much time has passed. I need to focus on Leo being a dad to Trey. So it’s perfect timing when Cam calls and asks me if I want to go clubbing with her. I remember what my nan used to say. The best way to get over one man is to get under another.

So here we are. It's Friday night and Dylan has dropped us off at Snake in Sheffield City Centre. Fridays are half price cocktails and free entry so I’m already on my second Cosmo. It's time to dance my heart out and forget the stresses of the last few weeks.

‘Come on. Dance floor,’ I beckon Cam and start to wander off.

‘What’s got into you?’ she protests. ‘My feet already hurt in these heels.’

‘God, you are getting so boring. Where’s your slippers?’

‘Piss off. I can out-dance you, aching feet or not.’

‘Prove it.’

Tonight I’m dressed in a fuchsia pink embellished bodycon dress that emphasises my skinny frame. My dark hair is tousled bed-head style. My lips are a pout of baby pink and my eyeliner is in a feline flick. I feel sexy. It's miles away from my mummy outfit of baggy top and jeans. My parents begrudgingly accepted Trey for the night. Although they have him every Friday, they usually come to my house and I’m home no later than midnight. This time, I wanted to stay out. Though aware I could have asked Leo, I don’t want Trey staying out all night there yet. I know I’m being stupid and putting off the inevitable, but that’s how I want it tonight. To forget all of it. I’ll bring it up with the counsellor on Monday night.

I watch my friend as she gets into the beat. Cam can be self-conscious about her size fourteen frame, which is stupid. To be honest, she looks tons better than me. She glows with health whereas I look knackered and drawn. Yes, my makeup has rescued me tonight, but Cam in her trousers and tunic top looks so sophisticated. Her blonde hair is down and in ringlets. She’s completely oblivious to the admirers watching her shake her booty. Oh, to be loved-up.

Fuck. What am I saying? That’s exactly what I don’t want.

‘I’m getting another drink.’ I mime it so Cam understands where I’m going.

As I wait at the bar, I find myself in line behind an attractive looking brown haired bloke. His hair is tousled, and he has what I can only describe as a cheeky face. It kind of dimples as he talks to his mates.

I’m jostled by a couple of females who sidle up to him.

‘Excuse me.’ One of them says in a stupid high-pitched girly squeal.

He turns to them and gives them a megawatt smile, ‘Yes ladies. What can I do for you?’

‘We’re on a hen night and we’ve got to do this challenge.’ One of the women shows him a card. ‘We’ve got to come back with a piece of clothing from a sexy man. Can you spare anything?’

‘Hmm, well I wouldn’t want to let you ladies down.’ He peels off his shirt to reveal a tight tee underneath. Then he strips that off, revealing a fucking cracking abdomen emboldened with a dragon tattoo that stretches partway across his arm. Unfortunately, he puts his shirt back on. ‘There you go, ladies.’ He passes them the tee. One woman forgets she’s supposed to be in a competition. She lets her friend take the tee and stays at the side of the bloke.

‘Nice tat.’

‘Thanks. Well, nice meeting you.’ He turns back to the bar and she’s dismissed, just like that.

‘What a twat.’

I don’t realise I’ve said this out loud until he turns around.

He smiles and holds out his hand. ‘Also known as Sebastian Kingsley, but twat will do.’

‘How’d you know it was you I was calling a twat?’

He winks. ‘It’s not the first time I’ve been called it.’

He leans in close to my face and sniffs near my mouth.

I step back. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Pint of beer,’ he says to the bar staff, ‘and a Cosmo for the lady.’

I cross my arms over my chest. ‘Oh my God, are you for fucking real? Perhaps I didn’t want that.’

‘Well, what do you want?’

I sigh. ‘I do want a Cosmo.’

He brings our drinks and directs me to the side of the dance floor.

‘So. Out with it. I can tell by my new nickname that you’re anti-men right now.’

‘No.’ I drink some of my Cosmo. ‘All you know is that I think you’re a twat.’

He shrugs.

‘Don’t you care?’

‘Not particularly.’

‘So what happened to make you anti-women?’

‘Who says I’m anti-women? I already decided I wanted you.’

I splutter some of my drink.

‘Seriously? What a line. You’d not even noticed my existence at the point you dissed that woman.’

‘Really? Why do you think I took my shirt off? Usually, I’d have told them to fuck off.’

I shake my head.

‘Anyway, enough about how we met. Tell me about how I’ve never seen you in here before.’

‘I’m a spy, working undercover. They sent me to Sheffield tonight.’

‘Ooh, feisty. Not my usual sort of woman it has to be said.’

‘What’s your usual sort of woman?’

‘Vulnerable. Easy to manipulate. Grateful.’

I widen my eyes at him. ‘Seriously? Someone must have really done a number on you at some point.’

‘Or maybe I’m just a twat. Now, come dance with me. I’m here from Derby. For one night only, so let’s go have some fun.’

And that’s what sways me. One night only? One night of fun with a good looking twat who I’ll never want to see again because when I’m sober, I’ll realise he truly is a pig.

Sounds great.

We hit the dance floor.

Cam watches from a table she’s acquired. She raises an eyebrow at me.

‘Hang on a tic,’ I tell Seb.

‘Just having a quick boogie and then I’ll be back. Don’t worry, he’s a twat.’

‘He’s very good looking.’

‘Well, he’s an idiot. Fine for tonight, though.’

‘Okay. Enjoy then. My feet are killing and I’m more than happy to people watch.’

‘You’re going to sit texting Dylan, aren’t you?’

‘Yeah probably,’ she admits. ‘Off you go. The sharks are circling your fish.’

I dance with Seb for a while, flirting. It’s good to be relaxed and feel attractive in another man’s company. When I’m overheating and want another drink, I indicate I’m leaving the floor and he follows me. I introduce him to Cam.

‘What are you drinking?’ I ask him. ‘Another pint of beer?’

‘Yes thanks,’ he says and lets me go to the bar. I shouldn’t complain. Women want to be equals but I sigh as I leave him with Cam.

I take twenty minutes to return and when I get back, Cam is alone.

‘Where’d Seb go?’

‘Imagine a bat with wings on fire.’

‘Oh, Cam. Did you tell him about Trey?’

‘Yes, but only after he asked me if I wanted to dance. The fucktard.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Yeah. He told me he had a thing for blondes and did I want to leave while you were at the bar.’

‘He did not?’

‘Yes, he did. He also said that you’d be all right because you had his drink and could drown your sorrows.’

‘The fucking twat.’

I finally manage to get myself on the chair at the side of Cam. Why are these stools so fucking high?

‘I knew he was a player but I thought he might play with me for one night before he moved on.’

‘Well, when he hit on me, I said we had to get back to our kids soon. I made out we both had them. I swear the bloke went white as milk, and that was it. He bid me good night and wandered off.’

‘Oh well,’ I reply. My face falls. ‘We might as well get going soon.’

Cam leans towards me and shouts. ‘Sorry that your night hasn’t been what you wanted.’

‘It's fine. It's reminded me that men are mainly jerks and I’m better off sticking with my three-year-old.’

‘Leo isn’t a jerk.’

I put a hand on her mouth. ‘Don’t.’

‘Sorry.’

‘Okay,’ I tell her. ‘I’m drinking this Cosmo and this pint and then I’m on the dance floor again. You, lady, have to come with me. You can rest those feet tomorrow.’

Cam’s face falls.

‘Another thirty minutes please?’ I plead. ‘I’m enjoying dancing.’

She nods and we drink up and dance before sharing a taxi home.

I’m drunk. I can feel the numbness. It's lovely. I feel dead happy. I sit on my sofa and think about how lovely my life is.

‘Glad I don’t have a jerk in my life,’ I say to myself and then I do a jerk movement. ‘Just this jerk in my life.’ I do a little kind of jerky dance.

Why don’t I dance in my house more often? I put my CD on and give it my best to some Taylor Swift.

‘Turn it fucking down,’ bellows from next door. Mardy bastards.

I switch the music off and sit on the sofa. I still want to dance. It's not fair. I want to put my music on loud and give myself up to the beat. Then I have a brilliant idea. My mobile is on the side so I pick it up.

A voice shouts out, deafening me. ‘Beth. Is everything all right? How’s Trey?’

‘Wha? Trey’s fine. But, I… I want to dance.’

There’s silence.

‘Beth, are you drunk?’

‘Lil bit.’ I admit.

‘Where’s Trey?’ Leo’s voice comes out very slowly.

‘Oops, I left him outside, fucking his sum.’

‘What?’

I snigger. ‘Kidding. He’s at my mum’s.’

There’s a deep sigh. ‘Why are you ringing at one am?’

‘Because I want to dance. You. You - have a fucking great gigantic massive house and no neighbours.’ I mimic them. ‘“Turn that fucking music down.” Let me come play Tay-lor Swift.’

‘Stay there. I’m on my way,’ says Leo, and the line goes dead.

I throw my mobile down. Why is he coming to me? I want to go to his house? Oh, who cares? ‘God, I just want to daaannnce.’ I follow the path of my mobile, throwing my body onto the settee. My face mashes into the sofa arm. ‘S’not fair. Jerks.’

I startle. What’s that noise? Where am I?

I rub my head and hear a knocking. Oh, it’s the front door. I must have nodded off.

After knocking into the walls several times like I’m a fucking ball in a pinball machine, I manage to open the door. Leo stands on the doorstep, arms folded across his chest.

I lick my lips.

He watches me.

‘I’m thirsty,’ I tell him.

‘You’re drunk. Let me in and I’ll make you some coffee.’

I put my hands either side of the doorframe. ‘What’s the password?’ I ask him.

‘Er, please?’

‘Nope.’

‘Beth. Let me in.’

‘Password. It’s not difficult.’

‘Trey. Is Trey the password?’

‘Course.’ I open the door wider and gesture for him to come through.

‘You woke me up.’ I complain.

‘Beth, you called me twenty-five minutes ago and I was asleep then.’

‘Well I was sleeping and you woke me, so we’re even-stevens.’

‘Sit on the sofa while I make you a drink,’ he says.

The coffee he hands me tastes like the best coffee on earth.

‘This is dee-lic-ious.’ I turn to him. ‘You’re dee-lic-ious, Leo. Dee-leo-cious.’

‘Beth.’

‘Leo,’ I say back to him in the same school headmistress tone. ‘Behave yourself.’ I wag my finger at him. ‘Or you’re going to get spanked.’

‘Oh, fuck this,’ he says, leaning towards me and crashing his lips into mine.

It's even more dee-lic-ious than the coffee.

I’m transported back in time as his pout crushes my lips. His tongue, insistent, pushes between my teeth to tangle with my own. His hand caresses the back of my neck before pushing through my hair to hold my head in place.

Clothes are discarded. Skin slides against skin. Smooth, hot, soft. This might be the biggest mistake ever but it feels so good I don’t care.

Leo raises himself above me on the sofa. Cock paused at my entrance. He captures my lip again. Bites it. He enters me.

‘Fuck, Leo.’

Afterwards, Leo carries me upstairs and we fall asleep, his large arms wrapped around me. I refuse to let my mind question my actions. Tomorrow. I’ll worry about it tomorrow.

We’re awoken by my mobile ringing. I look at my handset. Five am. I bet Trey’s woken my parents early.

‘Beth?’

‘Yes, mum,’ I croak. Mouth dry after a night of too much alcohol.

‘Beth, hurry. We’re in an ambulance on our way to the hospital. Trey got a fever and collapsed.’

Chapter Thirteen

Leo

I sit up in bed as I watch Beth’s face on the telephone. She gasps, then squeezes her eyes shut. Her voices shakes.

‘I’ll be there. As soon as I can.’

‘What’s wrong?’ If it's possible for a dark guy to go pale, I guess that’s me now. I almost don’t want her to tell me as I don’t want to hear the words Trey. Maybe it's someone else like Cam?

‘Trey’s got a fever. It sounds bad. We need to get to hospital.’

Shit. I can’t lose my son now. Not just after I’ve found him.

We dress swiftly and I drive us to the hospital. I wish my car could fly.

We dash through the hospital A&E entrance where we find Beth’s parents sitting with Trey. Trey is standing on the seating, bouncing around. He looks fine. I was expecting to see my son’s corpse.

‘What’s happening?’ asks Beth.

‘They gave him paracetamol and ibuprofen together and as soon as his temperature normalised he acted like nothing was ever the matter. Making us appear like fools, aren’t you, Trey?’ Beth’s mother says.

‘Yes, thank God,’ says her dad. ‘Scared the living daylights out of me. I feel twenty years older than I did last night.’

‘God, I’m so sorry. I should never have left him.’ Beth sweeps Trey into my arms. He tries to shake her off as he wants to continue to bounce on the seating.

‘Don’t be silly, Beth. Kids get sick,’ says her mum. ‘We had plenty of these situations with you. Half dead one minute and a live wire the next. He gave us a turn when he flopped but it was his temperature. I stuck a damp flannel on his head and your Dad phoned the ambulance.’

She reaches for her parents in turn, pulling them into a massive hug. ‘Thank you.’ She takes a deep breath. ‘I’m never going out again. It’s not worth it. I didn’t enjoy myself enough for the risk of missing my child being ill.’

‘Thanks a lot,’ I boom. Her parents turn their gaze towards me.

‘I’m talking about my night out,’ Beth smiles. ‘Where I was chatted up by an idiot.’

‘Oh yeah?’ I tense.

‘Daddy,’ yells Trey, who has now noticed my presence and jumps about even more.

‘I think it’s time for us to be formally introduced,’ says Beth’s dad, rubbing his knuckles.

Shit.

‘Mr Woods. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I’m Leo Coleman, Trey’s father.’

We shake hands.

Beth’s mother also takes my hand but folds it in her own. ‘I’m Alison. Sorry it has to be a hospital where we first meet. We’ll remedy this with you coming for a meal. We can get to know you better.’

‘I’d like that,’ I tell her.

‘Whereabouts do you live?’ asks Andrew.

‘Whiston.’

‘Right. You made good time picking up Beth and getting here then. Nothing on the roads this time in a morning.’

‘Er, yes.’

Alison looks at Andrew and then at Beth. She shakes her head. ‘Yes, very good time,’ she says and raises an eyebrow at us both.

The Consultant calls us in, saving my skin.

The doctor assesses Trey and tells Beth and myself that he has the start of what appears to be an upper respiratory infection and that we need to keep him on the painkillers until he fights it off. We’re reassured there’s nothing too serious or sinister going on and to take him home and give him lots of fluid and rest. Try telling a three-year-old that, I think as he tries to pick up every piece of equipment he can get his hands on in the consulting room. I pick him up and hold him in a firm grip. Within two minutes, Trey has admitted defeat and fallen asleep on my shoulder.

‘Let’s get him home,’ Beth says.

My pulse rises as she says it. It sounds unified. Me and her. I mustn’t get my hopes up.

I drive back to Beth’s where we put Trey in his bedroom. We’re both wiped out and yawning. She prods me in the arm.

‘You’re welcome to share my bed if you want to get some more sleep?’

I won’t want to sleep if I’m in your bed.

‘No, I’m fine. I won’t sleep now. Am I okay to fix myself a coffee and hang around?’

‘Of course,’ she says. ‘I’m going to try to rest for an hour. Thank you.’

‘For what?’

‘For being here. You took me to the hospital.’

‘I took us to the hospital.’

‘Well, if you weren’t here now I wouldn’t be able to even think of going back to bed myself. I’d be glued to Trey’s bedside door.’

‘Must have felt like you against the world these past few years, hey?’

‘Sometimes.’ She smiles. ‘But I wouldn’t swap it for the world.’

‘Are you sure about that?’ I ask her. ‘Think of how things could have been.’

It’s a mistake. The shutters come down fast. Beth tenses.

‘I’m going to bed.’ she snaps.

‘Beth, I didn’t mean-’

‘I don’t know what you want me to do, Leo. I can’t change the last three years. It's going to keep coming up, isn’t it?’

‘Beth, I-’

Tears run down her face. ‘I was out enjoying myself when I should have been looking after my son. My drunken behaviour let us cross a line that should have been firmly drawn. I’m a fucking stupid mess.’

She slams her bedroom door in my face.

I listen at her door. I want to go in, but I don’t. Instead, I leave her alone. Give her space. Her sobs are loud and it sounds like the tension of the night with an ill son has led to an outpouring of emotion. It's almost like a grief reaction. It's hard for me to walk away, but I do. I go to Trey’s room and check he’s okay. He’s fast asleep, little breaths being emitted from his tiny rosebud lips. I close the door to and head downstairs to the kitchen to make myself a drink.

Taking a seat on the sofa, I do a lot of thinking.

Hours later, I hear Beth’s door open and her feet cross the landing. When she comes into the lounge, her eyes are puffy. She has a large fluffy cardigan wrapped and belted around her clothes from earlier this morning.

‘Trey seems okay,’ she says.

‘He seems fine. Still sleeping bless him. My mum always said you let a poorly kid wake up when they’re ready. I don’t know what you want to do now you’re up.’

She waves a hand. ‘I agree with your mum. When he’s poorly, I let him rest as much as he needs. I imagine he’ll wake as soon as his medicine wears off. As his temperature gets higher, he’ll stir.’

I nod.

‘I’m sorry about my outburst,’ Beth says. She draws her knees up on the sofa and puts her arms around them. ‘You need to know how sorry I am about this situation. I wish I could go back in time and tell you I was pregnant. I really do. Leo, I fucked up. We can’t know what would have happened between us, but I can’t bear what I’ve done to you.’

‘Beth -’

‘If something had happened to him last night. You’d have barely known your own son. I can’t look at myself.’

‘Beth.’ I put my hands on her shoulders. ‘You did what you thought was right. Joe is the one at fault here. We’ve been through this in the sessions. You’re right. We can’t go back in time. If we don’t learn to move forwards, we have no chance.’

She looks up at me through tear-tinged lashes. ‘I was drunk and should have been with my son.’

‘No.’ I shake my head at her. ‘You have to be able to leave Trey. This could have happened at nursery. Soon, he’ll be going to school. There’ll be residential trips. I went to Cubs, he might stay away weekends if he joins that. You can’t be with him 24/7. It’s not good for you and it’s not good for Trey.’

‘But -’

‘Look what happened last night. You called me. We were together when Trey was ill. We went to the hospital as a team. If you’re asking me to regret last night, I can’t. In fact, it’s what I want.’

‘Leo -’ Beth’s chin trembles.

‘Beth, I want you.’ I take a deep breath and stroke my fingers down the side of her face, capturing her chin in my hand so she can’t turn away. ‘I want you, and I want Trey. Yes, we’ve had three years we can’t get back, but are you going to risk losing any more time because you’re too scared to try? I don’t want a future without you and Trey in it, Beth. I love you.’

She shakes and tears come again. ‘Leo, I love you too. I never stopped, but I’m so scared. What if we don’t last?’

I put my finger across her lips. ‘No what ifs. We start from today and see where it goes. Do you want to try?’

She grabs my fingers with her hand and moves them down to my side. ‘Okay. Yes. Let’s try. Gosh,’ she gives a nervous giggle. ‘We’d better double our counselling time for Monday.’

I laugh, and then I lean towards her and press my mouth to hers. Her lips part, letting my tongue intrude.

There’s a groan from the small bedroom. ‘Muuuuuummmmyyy,’ followed by whimpers.

‘You get the Calpol, I’ll get Trey,’ she says.

‘Take that kiss as foreplay,’ I tell her. ‘I’ll return to it later.’

And I do.

A few days later…

Trey is completely well now. He’s running around Kid Zone like he’d never been ill. I’ll never get over how quickly kids can bounce back from illnesses. He’s passed it onto his mother who’s not doing as well. In fact, she’s resting in bed, hence why I’ve brought Trey here.

The counselling session went well. I’m staying at Beth’s until we’re sure things will work out, so not to upset Trey’s routine too much. I’m hoping that soon, we’ll all move into my home in Whiston, which can then become our family home.

I watch as Dora comes into Kid Zone with a delivery of biscuits and cupcakes. She’s been happy to take everything on while Beth gets better.

‘Hey, Leo,’ she heads over and hands me a couple of biscuits.

‘Hi, Dora. Thanks for everything you’ve done to help.’

‘It’s no problem at all,’ she says, with a smug grin on her face.

‘What?’ I ask her.

‘Well, I know you’re referring to the business but you do know I got you two together, don’t you?’

‘Erm, how?’ I laugh.

‘I made Cam take her to the nightclub. You’re lucky that Cam headed one guy off at the pass. Beth was only supposed to notice there were losers all around and return home disappointed, but hey, if she got frisky for you afterwards, well that’s a total bonus.’

‘How do you know what happened the night of the club?’ I press my palms to my cheeks. I feel hot.

‘Number one rule about women. We talk.’ She winks and walks away.

Thank goodness I have a son. Or is it? I worry about what he’s got to come as he grows up.

‘Daddy,’ shouts Trey. He runs towards me at top speed.

‘I got gilfren. I kiss her.’ He gives me a smug, cheeky look. I recognise it from how I feel when I kiss his mother. I glance to his side. A little blonde girl is tugging on his arm. ‘Trey, I love you,’ she tells him.

They go running off together.

Oh hell. Now I know why Beth’s never calm. Parenthood is a constant test of nerves. But like she said, it’s worth every minute.

THE END

A familiar face...

Those of you who have read Underneath, my suspense novel will have already met Sebastian ‘Seb’ Kingsley, the twat Beth met in the nightclub. If you haven’t read Underneath and want more Dragon tattooed goodness, read on.

Seb will be back sometime in 2017 when he meets Katy, a downtrodden woman who’s about to undergo a transformation…in Unleashed.

Extract from Underneath.

Buy link: Buy/Borrow here: http://getbook.at/underneath1

‘I’ll help Mrs Lawler with the sponge stocks,’ says the male voice to my right. Mr Kingsley has finally spoken up. ‘The kids would much rather pelt a teacher, and Mrs Lawler can collect the money and pass me towels to help me dry off.’

‘A good point,’ says Mrs Sullivan. ‘Well, that’s the roles all decided then. I suggest you take some time to consider what you need for your stalls, and we’ll reconvene at the same time next week. If there’s nothing else, I’ll see you then.’ Her tone suggests that the ‘discussion’ part of the meeting isn’t something she’s required for and we’re all dismissed.

I turn to find Mr Kingsley hovering beside me. ‘Can you spare me ten minutes to go through what we need to do?’

‘Sure,’ I say turning round to Bettina. ‘I’ll catch you tomorrow missus, and you’d better watch out on fair day for stray flying sponges.’

‘I’ll do you proud with the book stall,’ she says in a quiet voice.

‘You’d better,’ I say to her retreating back.

‘Right, well, school’s closing. Any chance you can nip round the corner to the Queen’s Head?’ Mr Kingsley shifts from foot to foot.

‘Why not?’ I reply. I feel riled with Bettina and consider I need a drink after being roped into being hit with wet sponges all day. At this rate, I’ll be in The Priory by the end of the term.

The Queen’s Head is about a five-minute walk from school. It’s an old fashioned pub that’s been there for years and is badly in need of redecoration. The burgundy leather seating is worn but comfy, and I deposit myself on it. Mr Kingsley takes the seat opposite me on a purple and gold chair in need of some TLC.

‘What would you like to drink?’

I go to get my purse from my bag.

‘Oh, no, this is on me.’

‘Oh, okay, thanks. A whisky with ice then please, Mr Kingsley.’

He bursts out laughing, which suits him. His teeth would be flawless except for one at the front that twists just slightly.

‘Seb, please,’ he says, ‘or I just won’t answer you.’

‘Okay, Seb please,’ I josh back. ‘I still want a whisky.’

He smiles and heads to the bar.

Drink placed in front of me I watch as Seb looks around and removes his glasses. ‘Phew, that’s better.’

‘Do you wear contacts?’ I ask, taking a drink.

‘I’ll let you into a secret Mrs Lawler,’ he leans over the table towards me and whispers near my ear. ‘I don’t need glasses, they’re just for show.’

The mouthful of whisky I’ve taken splatters ungainly from my mouth. ‘It’s Lauren. Sorry, I don’t get it.’

‘Well, Lauren sorry I don’t get it,’ he deadpans back at me. ‘I’m just dressing for the job.’

‘What?’ My forehead creases. I lean back into the seat and cross my legs. Seb gets up from his seat.

‘Give me a couple of minutes,’ he says.

The brown haired man who returns to the bar from the gents’ loo bears little resemblance to the man I sat next to at the school fair meeting. His hair is tousled in very sexy waves. At a guess, I’d say it’s been wet and dried in the bathroom. Without the glasses, I see that he has the most beautiful dark brown eyes. He’s removed the pullover and undone the collar of his shirt. I suddenly get the thought that Niall would not be happy to find me sitting here with this version of Mr Kingsley.

I rise from my seat and take a last swig of my drink. ‘I need to go.’

‘But I’ve not explained yet,’ he says.

I hesitate. ‘Okay, five more minutes then,’ I reply as I am a little intrigued. I sit back down.

‘I’ve not been very reliable in the past, so I decided to try a new tack.’ He shrugs. ‘I dressed up in my best impression of a stereotypical teacher, gelled my unruly hair down, put on a pair of fake reading glasses and went for an interview. I gave it everything I had. The head said she’d keep me on if I knuckled down and earned the respect of the other teachers. I’ve had to dress like it ever since. It works though; the other teachers love me, but it’s killing me dressing like Clark Kent.’

‘It serves you right for being fake.’ I take out my ponytail and re-fix it.

‘Hey, we’re all fakes in some way,’ he replies, his brown eyes on mine. ‘People can be completely different with others. Look at you, acting like you were interested in being part of the fair tonight.’

I shuffle in my seat.

His mouth turns up at the corner and his eyes sparkle with mischief. ‘I’d like to know what’s underneath the surface of you, Lauren Lawler.’

I look down my nose at him. ‘What you see is what you get. Anyway, now that I have your life story, what do we need to do about the fair?’

He stretches his hands behind his head. ‘Well, we turn up on the day. Get the stocks, sponges and the bucket out of the store room and we’re ready. Can you bring some towels?’

My voice turns sharp. ‘You could have said that in the school hall.’

‘But then I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of your lovely company.’

‘I’m married, Mr Kingsley.’ I place emphasis on his name.

He puts his hands up in front of me. ‘Have I stated any improper attentions towards you? No. It’s very presumptuous of you, Mrs Lawler, to imply I was angling for a shag or something.’

I feel the heat rise in my cheeks, although I’m not someone who usually blushes.

He carries on, ‘I just thought the pub would be nicer. I fancied a pint and don’t like drinking alone.’

‘Well, I need to head home now,’ I state, and get up to leave.

‘Of course, if you do fancy a ....’

‘Goodnight Mr Kingsley.’ I almost run towards the door. I turn back just before I leave to make sure he’s not following me and he winks. I’m too shell-shocked to respond and head home where the whisky bottle comes out of the cupboard for the second time that week.

Buy/Borrow here: http://getbook.at/underneath1

Also by Andie M. Long

THE ALPHA SERIES

The Alphabet Game (FREE ON ALL PLATFORMS)

Amazon: http://amzn.to/1ZQGxin

iBooks: http://apple.co/1R1WETP

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1TNe5Jt

Nook: http://bit.ly/1rLVqYz

The Alphabet Game: Play It Playbook

http://getbook.at/playthealphabet

The Alphabet Wedding:

Amazon: http://amzn.to/1Td67gS

IBooks:

Kobo: http://bit.ly/228bEHN

Nook: http://bit.ly/1TTICrY

The Calendar Game: Amazon: http://getbook.at/calendargame

THE BALL GAMES SERIES

Balls (Book One): Amazon: http://getbook.at/AmazonBallsOne

Snow Balls (Book Two): Amazon: http://getbook.at/AmazonSnowBalls2

New Balls Please (Book Three): Amazon: http://getbook.at/NewBallsPlease

Balls Fore (Book Four): Amazon: http://getbook.at/BallsFore

ALSO AVAILABLE

Journey to the Centre of Myself: Out 15 July 2016.

Amazon:http://amzn.to/1XcpZST

IBooks: http://apple.co/1seIcTR

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1spe9tx

Underneath: Amazon: http://getbook.at/underneath1

Quickies: Amazon: http://getbook.at/Quickies

Receive this ebook for FREE by signing up to Andie’s newsletter via http://eepurl.com/-mm-9

About Andie

Andie M. Long is author of The Alpha series which includes Amazon Number One Erotic Thriller The Alphabet Game; The Ball Games series, which starts with BALLS and comes complete with a Yorkshire slang guide, Drama/suspense Underneath and short story and poetry collection Quickies.

She lives in Sheffield with her son and long suffering partner.

When not being partner, mother, employee or writer she can usually be found on Facebook or with her head in a book.

Andie will be signing in Liverpool 2017 and York 2018.

FOLLOW ANDIE:

Andie’s Tiara Team: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1462270007406687/ (not a street team, just a place to hang and have fun).

Mailing List: (get a free ebook of Quickies on sign-up): http://eepurl.com/-mm-9

WEBSITE: www.andiemlongwriter.com

EMAIL: contact@andiemlongwriter.com

FACEBOOK PAGE: www.facebook.com/andiemlongwriter

TWITTER: @andiemichelle

BOOKBUB: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/andie-m-long

INSTAGRAM: andiemlongwriter (meet Barbie Andie!)

AMAZON: Follow to get info of new releases: http://viewauthor.at/andiemlongamazonpage

PINTEREST: https://uk.pinterest.com/nutcutlet/