Table of Contents

Title Page

End of Lonely Street

Copyright

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Thank you for purchasing this publication of The Wild Rose Press, Inc.

Praise for END OF LONELY STREET

“No matter the era, the theme, or the conflict, Alicia Dean packs an emotional punch starting with word one, and continues through to the very end. A sense of time and place are carefully woven throughout END OF LONELY STREET, transporting the reader back to the 1950s—an engaging, fast-paced story, and an excellent nostalgic novella that is hard to put down.”

~Carol Henry, author of Destination Romance:

Exotic, Romantic Suspense Adventures

~*~

“A blast from the 1950s, END OF LONELY STREET delivers nostalgia, heartache, a forever love, and Elvis, too.”

~Diane Burton, author of One Red Shoe

~*~

“A charming and refreshing treat for every Elvis fan!”

~Monique DeVere, author

~*~

“A tainted past. A misunderstanding. Add in love that can’t be broken with a little Elvis and you have Alicia Dean’s END OF LONELY STREET.”

~R.T. Wolfe, best-selling author

~*~

“Alicia Dean is a master at setting the stage. In her latest, deft characterization and vivid imagery paint a picture of sweet love at the dawn of the Rock ‘N’ Roll era.”

~Leah St. James, award-winning author

End of
Lonely Street

by

Alicia Dean

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales, is entirely coincidental.

End of Lonely Street

COPYRIGHT © 2015 by Alicia Dean

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the author or The Wild Rose Press, Inc. except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Contact Information: info@thewildrosepress.com

Cover Art by Debbie Taylor

The Wild Rose Press, Inc.

PO Box 708

Adams Basin, NY 14410-0708

Visit us at www.thewildrosepress.com

Publishing History

First Vintage Rose Edition, 2014

Digital ISBN 978-1-62830-540-1

Published in the United States of America

Dedication

To all the Elvis Presley fans out there

(especially to my wonderful sisters,

with whom I grew up listening to Elvis,

and to my kids, who also love Elvis: my daughters Lana and Lacey, and my son Presley.

~

There will never be another entertainer like Elvis,

whether people like his music or not,

there’s no denying he had something magical

and left a legacy that will never be matched.

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank my fabulous editor, Nicole D’Arienzo, for liking my story enough to contract it, and for being talented enough to help make it shine. I would also like to thank the entire team at The Wild Rose Press, from the owners, to the talented cover artists, to the marketing guru, and all the editors and authors. You guys are the best! A special thanks to my beta reader and friend, Monique DeVere, who was the first to read my story and tell me what worked...and what didn’t.

Chapter One

Mapleton, Tennessee, November, 1957

Toby Lawson closed her eyes and shut out all sounds of the diner, except for Elvis Presley’s voice. He was crooning about how she was the only one for him…no matter where he went or what he did… he’d spend his whole life loving her…

Rough hands landed on her waist and shattered the fantasy. She caught a whiff of hair tonic and too much cologne and snapped her eyes open. Wes Markham’s hateful face replaced the image of Elvis’ beautiful, crooked smile and smoldering blue eyes.

“Let me go.” She gritted her teeth, keeping her voice low. If her boss, Mr. Winstead, knew there was trouble on account of her, he’d explode. He’d barely let her have the job in the first place. Everyone in Mapleton knew the Lawson women were trouble.

“Come on, honey. If you like that hip swivel, Presley ain’t the only one who’s got it. I got it too.” He released her with his left hand so he could run it over his slicked down hair and gave her a big-toothed, wolfish smile. “Only we’d be naked.” He shot a cocky grin over to his two companions—Chuck Stenson and Billy Garfield—who were leaning against the jukebox making kissing and whooping sounds.

Toby gripped his right wrist with one hand, tightening her hold on the utensils she held in the other. “I said let me go. Now!”

“Aw, be a sport, Green-Eyes.”

The bulge of his pelvis pressed into her abdomen, and she gasped in shock. Nausea tightened in her esophagus. “Wes Markham, I’m warning you…”

She shoved against him, but he didn’t budge.

He pulled her tighter. “Your momma’s a whole lot friendlier than you are. They say the apple don’t fall far from the tree, so how’s about you cut the pretense and we go someplace quiet? Winstead won’t miss you for a few minutes.”

Her cheeks heated. She didn’t dare look around. No doubt the customers were watching, listening. Elvis had stopped singing, and everyone in the place could hear what he’d said about her mother. It wasn’t like they didn’t all know, though. Constance Lawson hadn’t exactly kept her escapades a secret.

Toby clenched her teeth and brandished the utensils. She spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. “Release me this instant, or I swear, you’ll be pulling this steak knife out of your eyeball.”

He held her gaze for a split second, then gave a laugh that was somewhere between nervous and furious. “Sure, sure. Okay.” He released her and stepped back. “I was just foolin’ around anyway. I got better things to do with my time than waste it on a used up chick like you.”

Muffled laughter rose around her. Oh God, she could crawl into a hole.

“How about you apologize to the lady, then beat it?”

Toby whirled at the male voice. Noah Rivers stood behind her, looking handsome and sharp in his police uniform—even with his dark hair in the military buzz cut. Her knees weakened, and tingles swept over her skin. She swallowed against the sudden dryness in her throat. She’d heard he was back but hadn’t seen him until now. And what a time to have a reunion.

Wes licked his lips and darted a glance around the diner. He stuck his hands in his pants pockets and shrugged. “I didn’t mean no harm. Like I said, just funnin’.”

Noah narrowed his eyes. “Like I said, tell that to the lady.”

Wes frowned, then turned a glare on Toby. “Sorry. Didn’t mean nothin’ by it.”

She nodded, suppressing a shudder. His words might have sounded amiable, but his eyes made a threat she couldn’t ignore.

“Now get out of here.” Noah gestured with his head.

Wes tugged on the edges of his letterman jacket—three years out of high school and still couldn’t let go of the jock mentality—then stalked to the door, his two buddies following behind.

“Thank you.” Toby brushed her hands over her paper apron—self-conscious of the soda stains on her pink uniform blouse and her hair coming loose from its ponytail—when Noah looked like, well…that. “I was doing fine on my own though.”

“Yeah, sure you were. But he ticked me off, so that was just for me.” He crossed his arms and studied her with hypnotic, golden brown eyes. “How have you been, Toby?”

“Good.” She tried to take a deep breath, but it got stuck somewhere between her chest and her throat. “You? I heard you were back. A police officer. I never would have pictured that for you.”

“Why not?” He grinned. “Because I was hell on wheels?”

She smiled back, keeping her voice low so as not to continue attracting attention from the diners. “Something like that.”

“A couple of years in the Marines will take the rebel right out of a guy.”

She nodded, and an uncomfortable silence settled between them. Toby searched for something to say, but failed. What more could she say?

I’ve missed you…

No other guy can make me feel the way you do…

Wish I hadn’t caught you kissing my mother…

In all fairness, her mother had kissed him, but since Toby could never erase that image from her mind, the blame didn’t matter.

“Well, I’d better get back to work.” She placed the utensils in the dish bin.

“Yeah, me too.” He glanced around the diner. She followed his gaze. The counter was lined with customers. A jukebox sat in the corner. Patsy Cline’s “Walkin’ After Midnight” now belted from its speakers. He brought his eyes back to her. “What happened to college? I thought you were getting your teaching degree.”

She shrugged and took the dish cloth from her apron pocket. “That was the plan.” She wouldn’t go into how she’d had to put off her schooling to come home and see after her mother. Surely he’d heard the story about Constance falling asleep with a lit cigarette and almost burning down the house—with her inside it—from the town gossip mill. “I finished my three years at University. Now I have to complete my Post-Graduate Certificate of Education. I had to put that on hold for a while, so in the meantime, I’m doing this.”

“Great. That means I’ll see you often. Maybe we can get together for a movie or something? Jailhouse Rock is showing at the Bijou.”

Elvis and Noah at the same time? Her heart wouldn’t take it.

Before the break-up, she’d gone to the drive-in with him to see Rebel Without a Cause. James Dean had died less than a month earlier, and she cried throughout the entire movie. Noah had held her, comforted her. Let her cry on his shoulder. That was their last movie together. The night remained a sad memory for more than one reason.

“Thanks, but I don’t think so. I’m awfully busy with work and the high school committee.”

His mouth turned down in a frown, but he gave a quick nod. “Fine, then. I guess I’ll just see you when I see you. Take care.”

She nodded. “You too.”

He left, and it took all her willpower to refrain from calling him back, telling him she’d changed her mind. But the pain from their break-up had just started to heal. And there was no way on Earth she ever wanted to experience that again.

****

Toby hurried home after her shift. She had just enough time to get ready before she had to head to her meeting with the alumni group. They were almost finished with plans for the benefit for their former principal. Miss Murdock had been so kind to her the entire time she’d been at Mapleton High. She’d retired last year due to illness, and her health was deteriorating while her medical bills continued to grow. Toby had been appointed head of the entertainment committee, and, after Miss Murdock’s endorsement, had managed to get approval from the school board to play rock and roll at the dance. Tickets were selling like crazy.

She let herself into the white frame house she’d grown up in. Her father passed away when she was five, but his business partner paid her mom a salary in order to keep her from selling her half of the auto business he’d owned with Toby’s dad. Thanks to that same auto business, she’d gotten her two-tone blue and white ’55 Bel Air for a steal.

Agitation coursed through her when she stepped into the living room and saw the mess. She did her best to keep the place clean, but her mother was a slob, so it was an uphill battle.

The odor of booze mingled with the scent of lemon furniture polish. Two empty vodka bottles were strewn on the carpet next to a pile of her mother’s clothing. Magazines and her mother’s coat and shoes littered the turquoise sectional sofa. Where had she been? Toby had taken her keys away after the last drunk-driving incident when she’d plowed into a mailbox. If her mom had gone out, someone else must have driven. She couldn’t imagine who it would have been. Constance had no real friends.

“Mother? Where are you?” Toby yelled up the stairs. She didn’t have time to fool with her mom, but she had to check on her. The last thing she needed was another incident. She couldn’t trust her mother. She’d kill herself before it was all over.

And then I’d be free…

Toby shook the horrible words away. What kind of person thought such awful things about their own mother?

“’Mm-in’ere, baby girl. Need…help.”

So what’s new?

Toby huffed out a sigh and climbed the stairs. She entered through her mother’s open bedroom door. Constance lay on the floor, her head cradled in her arms.

Fear raced through Toby as she rushed to her mother’s side. “Mother, are you okay?” She knelt, checking her mom’s slight frame for possible injury.

“Can’t…make it…bed.” She puffed out the slurred words on a breath filled with alcohol fumes. She lifted her head, but her eyes remained shut.

Satisfied her mom wasn’t injured beyond stupefied drunkenness, Toby grimaced. Anger warred with sympathy, but the anger definitely had the lead.

She bent over and tucked her hands beneath Constance’s arms. The smell of vodka and stale perfume wafted to her. She wrinkled her nose. How long had it been since her mother last showered? Sober, she was immaculate and well-groomed. Drunk was a whole different story.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Toby tugged, but she was dead weight. “Please, Mom, you have to help a little.”

Constance pointed her finger, aiming somewhere over Toby’s left shoulder. “Don’you sass me. I’m sti-still yer mother.”

“Right. So why am I taking care of you?” She let out a sigh and tugged again. “Help me out. I can’t lift you.” Although she should have been able to. Constance had wasted down to skin and bones. She’d never been fat, but she’d had curves. Toby had always thought she looked just like Tuesday Weld, but her good looks were fading, and she appeared older than her thirty-nine years. She hardly ever ate, did nothing but drink. She’d gotten so much worse in the six months since Toby had returned home. Even if Toby prevented her from going up in flames, she was slowly killing herself with booze.

“Okay, okay, okay, okay,” her mother mumbled. She pressed her feet against the floor, and Toby lifted at the same time. With a few more tugs and stumbles, she managed to get her mother into bed.

“Here you go.” Toby pulled the covers up to her chin. “You just get some rest.” The doorbell rang. “That’s probably Daisy here to pick me up for the meeting. I have to go. Will you be okay?”

She nodded. “Fine. Just bring me a drink.”

Toby headed to the door. “I’ll get you some water.”

“No water! Bring me my bottle.”

Toby opened her mouth to argue, but clamped it shut. It wouldn’t do any good. She’d get the booze, and hopefully, her mom would pass out before she drank it.

Downstairs, Toby opened the door to Daisy Abersol, her best friend since the third grade. She wore a pink cashmere sweater with a white scarf knotted to the side and a slim white skirt. Her dark hair hung loose around her shoulders. Toby pushed back a twinge of envy. She could never make her own blond hair lay in soft curls like Daisy’s, so she usually kept it in a ponytail.

“Ready?” Her friend stepped inside.

“Not quite yet. I just put my mother to bed. She wants me to take her vodka to her.”

“You aren’t, are you? That’s the last thing she needs.”

Toby snorted a humorless laugh. “Yeah, but if I don’t, she’ll try to get it on her own, and she’ll probably fall down the stairs and kill herself.”

She grabbed the bottle of vodka and took it up to her mom. She found her snoring, so she set the liquor on the nightstand and headed out.

They climbed into Daisy’s red rag top and cruised out onto the road. Daisy tapped her long pink fingernails on the steering wheel and slid a look at Toby. “So, are you going to spend the rest of your life taking care of your mom?”

Toby shrugged. “What choice do I have? I’m just hoping I can find a way to finish school in the meantime.”

“Well, even if that doesn’t happen, you’ll be fine. You’re smart and pretty. If you aren’t able to finish your education, you can easily find a husband.”

“I don’t want to find a husband. I want to be a teacher.”

Her friend’s perfectly arched brows scrunched in a frown. “And die an old maid like Miss Murdock?”

“Hey, that’s a lousy thing to say.”

“I know.” Daisy blew a breath up, ruffling her dark bangs. “Sorry. I just, I want what’s best for you. Noah’s back, and you can tell he’s still nuts over you. Don’t let him go a second time.”

Toby grimaced. “I won’t let him go, because I don’t have him.”

Her friend tightened her mouth and shook her head, but didn’t respond.

When they arrived at the Mapleton Public Library, the other committee members—Johnny, Suzette, and Blanche—were waiting for them in the meeting room. Johnny was in charge of the ticket sales and venue, Daisy the refreshments, and Blanche and Suzette the decorations. They had all graduated together in ’54, and were part of the honor roll, so they’d been chosen to sit on the alumni committee.

Once Daisy and Toby were seated, Johnny consulted a spiral notebook. “Mr. James agreed to let us use his concert hall for free. He doesn’t have anyone scheduled on the twentieth, and he wants to help with Miss Murdock’s bills. Thanks to Toby getting permission for us to play rock and roll at the dance, we’ve sold three-hundred thirty-two tickets at a buck apiece so far. Kids from schools in nearby towns are planning to come. This could be gigantic.”

“Good going, Toby.” Blanche, a plump, pretty brunette, twisted her red scarf in her hands and leaned her elbows on the table. “Guess what? I heard Miss Murdock was a women’s rights activist. She was a member of the National Woman’s Party.”

Toby laughed. “You’re putting me on. Sweet, proper Miss Murdock?” She couldn’t imagine the matronly woman being an activist.

“What’s the National Woman’s Party?” Johnny sneered. “Sounds like a drag.”

“Shows what you know.” Toby scowled at him. “They were instrumental in getting the nineteenth amendment passed, giving women the right to vote. That’s quite impressive.”

The brunette’s mouth turned down. “Yeah, she’s the coolest. So sad she’s dying.”

The words pierced Toby’s heart. “We don’t know that. Soon, she could be strong enough for the surgery and be fine.” She wasn’t as sure as she pretended, but she had to keep saying it. Maybe that would make it true. Miss Murdock had been more like a mother to her than her own mother. She’d taught at Mapleton High, then became principal in Toby’s senior year. Sometimes, she didn’t know how she’d have made it through school without the woman’s kindness.

Blanche didn’t reply, but the sympathy in her eyes spoke for her.

Suzette thumbed through her notes. “Now for refreshments. I thought we could charge for cookies and provide punch for free.”

“Swell.” Johnny grinned. “And with free punch, it will be easier to sneak a little booze into it.”

“No!” Toby spoke more adamantly than she intended and all heads turned to her. “No alcohol.”

“Hey, look. Just because you’re a square doesn’t mean we all have to be.”

“She’s not a square.” As usual, Daisy jumped to her defense. “It’s just that we could get into a lot of trouble. We’re adults, responsible for the kids. We can’t sneak them alcohol.”

Johnny snorted. “Yeah, sure. We all know the score. It’s ’cause Toby’s mom is a drunk.”

Sadness squeezed her chest, and she fought back tears, but she didn’t argue. She’d spent most of her life defending her mom. But all the horrible things people said about her were true. Her mom was a drunk, and she was a square. But she’d rather be a square any day than be like Constance Lawson.

Chapter Two

Friday was Toby’s only day off, and she had tons of things to do. First on the list was visiting Miss Murdock at the hospital. The poor thing was out of it most of the time, but it made Toby feel better to visit her, whether or not she was aware.

She brought in the bottle of milk from the porch and poured a bowl of cornflakes. She ate them quickly, then checked on her mom, who was still sleeping. She was about to head out when the phone rang. She answered, surprised to find Mr. Rivers, the school principal and Noah’s father, on the other end.

“What can I do for you, Mr. Rivers?”

“I need to see you in my office, right away.”

She chewed on her thumbnail, dread settling in her stomach. He wasn’t the friendliest person under the best circumstances, and judging by the tone of his voice, these were not the best circumstances. She’d better swing by before visiting the hospital. The last thing she wanted was to incur his wrath by putting him off.

“Yes, sir. I’ll be there shortly.”

She glanced down at her pedal pushers. Not the sort of outfit one wore for a professional meeting, especially with an application pending at the school. She had practically been guaranteed a position once she finished her year of teacher education. It was the last step before obtaining her Post-Graduate Certificate of Education. She wasn’t going to do anything to mess up her chances of obtaining a teaching position at Mapleton High. She dashed upstairs and changed into a powder blue cardigan set and cream-colored pleated skirt.

At the school, Mr. Rivers’ secretary, Georgia, showed Toby into his office. He scowled at her from behind the desk, not bothering to stand.

Like his son, Daniel Rivers was handsome. The black hair was peppered with gray, and his eyes were a darker brown than Noah’s, but the similarities were striking. Physically, that is. Unlike Noah, Mr. Rivers was a hard, cold man.

Toby cleared her throat nervously. “You wanted to see me, Mr. Rivers?”

He pointed with his cigar to a chair across from his desk. “Have a seat.”

She perched on the edge of the chair and waited silently.

He frowned and clamped the cigar between his teeth, picking up a sheet of paper off the top of his desk. He held it up for her inspection. She recognized one of the flyers for the dance. “What’s this all about?” he demanded.

She shifted and wiped damp palms on her skirt. “It—it’s the flyer. For the dance we’re holding. A benefit for Miss Murdock. She—she’s ill, and needs help with medical bills.” She gave an uneasy chuckle. “Did you know she once marched for Women’s Suffrage? Who could picture Miss Murdock doing that? I know I couldn’t—” She halted abruptly. Nerves were making her chatty. And she was babbling like a fool.

“I’ll have none of this nonsense at a school function. Rock and roll? Are you out of your mind?”

No rock and roll? No Everly Brothers or Little Richard or Buddy Holly? No….Elvis?

“But, sir. The kids are really looking forward to it. We’ve sold more than three-hundred tickets so far, and we just know we’ll sell more. That’s over three-hundred dollars for Miss Murdock’s expenses. Many of the kids will want their money back if we don’t have rock and roll music at the dance. Besides, Miss Murdock already gave her approval, before she had to retire.”

Mr. Rivers crossed his hands on the top of his desk. “It doesn’t matter how many tickets you’ve sold. I’m in charge now, and I’m not going to coddle students like Miss Murdock did. I won’t have my kids exposed to that devil music, especially that vulgar, immoral Elvis the Pelvis.”

“Vulgar? Devil music?” Toby clenched her fists. It made her so angry when older people spoke that way about rock and roll, especially about Elvis. He was a nice boy, respectful and polite. Kind to his fans, to his mother. And he was the dreamiest. “Rock and roll is not devil music. It’s just a way for kids to have fun, to have their own—”

“That will be enough, Miss Lawson. I should expect this kind of attitude from someone with your…upbringing—your lack of morals.” He smirked. “The only reason you’re even on the committee is because you made straight A’s. It certainly wasn’t my idea to allow you to serve, and I assure you, I will do all in my power to have you removed if you cause me any more trouble.”

His words were like a fist to her gut. She couldn’t believe this stuffy, hateful man was Noah’s father. Noah was kind, fun, with a sense of humor. This man was a total boor.

“You don’t understand. This is extremely important. Miss Murdock needs—”

“The discussion is over. I’ve made my decision, and I’ll hear no more about it. No rock and roll, and that’s final. And you listen to me, young lady. I’m involved in the decision-making as to whether you get hired here. If you buck me on this, I’ll ensure that you’ll never get a job here, or anywhere in this school district. Understand?”

Toby gave a quick nod. “I understand.” She rose and walked to the door, feeling as though she were walking to the electric chair. How could she tell the others on the committee that they would have to change their whole plan? That they would have to refund money when the kids learned they wouldn’t play rock and roll after all. What teenager wanted to go to a dance where they played nothing but Frank Sinatra and Glenn Miller?

She could fight, dig her heels in and refuse, but would that really get her anywhere? He would have her removed from the committee, maybe even shut down the dance altogether. And what about her future? She could help the kids more by becoming a teacher and following in Miss Murdock’s footsteps. The woman had done more than educate, she’d connected with her students and changed lives. Toby wanted to be that kind of person, too.

But Miss Murdock also marched for equality. She didn’t back down when things got rocky…

She pushed the thought aside.

Her hands were tied. She would have to make the best of it and hope to find another way to help the woman who meant the world to her.

****

The hospital sat at the edge of town, just past Mapleton Park. Orange and gold leaves drifted from the trees that lined the street. On the drive over, Toby kept telling herself this wasn’t a big deal. There were a lot of ways to raise funds. The dance would be smaller, but they would still bring in money. Any would help.

She went into Miss Murdock’s room to find her niece, Shelley, sitting by her bed. Shelley’s mother had passed when she was young, and Miss Murdock had taken her in. The woman was in her thirties, pretty, tall and thin with an easy smile and auburn hair the shade her aunt’s used to be before she’d gone gray.

Shelley looked up and smiled. “Hi. She’s awake. You picked a good time to come.” She stood. “I’ll let you two visit while I go down and get a cup of coffee. Need anything?”

“No, thank you.” Toby moved over to the bed. Miss Murdock looked even older and frailer than she had last time she had seen her, just a few days ago. Her skin was sallow and looked…crumpled. Her breathing was labored, a sign that her heart ailment was worsening. The doctors were waiting for her to gain the strength to withstand the surgery she needed. In the meantime, her bills were piling up. If they didn’t come up with money soon, the hospital would release her.

“Toby, is that you?” Miss Murdock lifted a hand. Toby took it gently. The older woman’s skin was thin, papery and cool. “Thank you for visiting me, dear.”

“My pleasure.” Her heart ached to see her so weak and helpless. “How are you feeling?”

She gave a raspy chuckle. “I’ve been better, but I can’t complain.”

Toby glanced over at her bedside table to where a bouquet of bright pink and yellow carnations rested in a crystal vase. “Those are beautiful. Who sent them to you?”

“They’re from Noah Rivers. But I hear he didn’t send them, he brought them. I hate that I slept through his visit.” Her face softened when she turned to look at the flowers. “He’s such a nice boy.” She brought her gaze back to Toby. “You two made such a lovely couple. I hope you work things out.”

“You shouldn’t worry about us. You need to focus on getting well.”

“Nonsense. It does my heart good to have hope for you and Noah. He’s mad about you, you know.”

“He’s a great guy.” That much was true. He just wasn’t the guy for her. Not anymore. “I heard something interesting about you,” she said, anxious to change the subject.

“Oh, what was that?”

“You were a tiger in your day. You were a member of the National Woman’s Party? You marched for women’s right to vote?”

Miss Murdock chuckled. “That I did. I even got arrested once.”

Toby’s mouth dropped open in shock. “No! Not you.”

“It was in ’eighteen. We were in Washington D.C. What a night. Six of us were taken to jail.” Her eyes twinkled. “It was scary, but I’ve never felt more alive.”

“You’re something else. All your years as a teacher and principal, helping kids. And now I learn you were a rebel rouser.”

“You know, you remind me of myself when I was your age.”

“How so?”

“You’ve got that same passion, that fire. There’s nothing you can’t do if you set your mind to it.”

“I’m not sure that’s true. If so, I’d find a way to take care of everything you need, to help get you better.”

Miss Murdock pressed her palm to Toby’s cheek. “Don’t worry about me. I’m an old lady. I’ve had a full, wonderful life, and I have no regrets. Now is your time. Your time to have fun, to make your dreams come true.”

“Nonsense. You have a lot of good years left.”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t believe I do. I’m not…strong enough for the surgery I need. I’ve accepted that the end is near.”

Toby dropped her gaze and blinked back moisture. She didn’t know what to say, so she simply laid her hand on top of Miss Murdock’s. After a few moments, the older lady’s eyes drifted shut, and she fell asleep.

Toby sat by her bedside and waited for Shelley. In a few moments, she returned, carrying a plastic cup with steam rising from it. She came over and looked down at her aunt.

Her voice low in the quiet room, she said, “We’re fighting two battles.” She took a sip of coffee and shook her head. “Her being strong enough for the surgery, and getting money for the bill so they’ll keep her here. She couldn’t get the care she needs at home.”

Toby rested a hand on Shelley’s forearm. “We’re working hard to raise money. Don’t give up hope.”

She nodded. “I know. You’ve been so good to her. She admires you a great deal. She said she saw a lot of herself in you in your determination and strength. Also a little stubbornness.”

Toby laughed. “Maybe the stubbornness. I’m not so sure about the strength.” She sighed. “You’re very lucky to have someone like her in your family.”

Shelley smiled and patted Toby’s hand. “I would say we both are.”

****

After work that night, Toby wasn’t ready to go home, so she sat in her car in the parking lot of Winstead’s, listening to the radio. “Love Me” by Elvis came on, and she cranked the volume.

Nothing else calmed her and lightened her heart like listening to him. She could escape into his music and all the bad just…faded away. When Elvis sang, there was no drunken mother, no failed dreams, no dying Miss Murdock. Toby didn’t only listen to his music, she felt it. It seemed to vibrate through her blood.

Although she was embarrassed to admit it, sometimes listening to him, watching him on television, made her all squirmy and hot—just like Noah made her feel. Especially that one night, when they had almost gone all the way.

Toby had been a senior in high school, and he’d graduated the year before. He picked her up and they drove out to the bluff, known as Make Out Row, overlooking downtown Mapleton.

The town was shrouded in darkness, but scattered lights shone, as though a starry sky were laid out below them. There were other cars around, but closed up in their cocoon, it was as though they were the only two people on Earth. Noah had kissed her, deep and long, whispering love words, telling her she was special, beautiful. She’d fallen in love with him at that very moment—wanted to be with him forever. He’d been the one to halt their make out session. She would have willingly gone all the way that night. She was helplessly under his spell…the feel of his lips on hers, his hand covering her breast through her thin blouse…

A tapping sound on the window made her jump. She looked through the glass to find Noah standing outside the car. Was he real, or just part of the fantasy world she’d drifted to? When another tap came, she blinked away the memories. He was definitely real.

She rolled down the window. “Is something wrong?”

“That’s what I was going to ask you. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Then what are you doing sitting out in the parking lot after closing time? All alone? It’s not safe for you out here.”

She laughed. “Come on, this is Mapleton. What’s going to happen around here?”

He grinned, his eyes glinting like gold in the dim light. “Now if it was all that safe, I wouldn’t be needed, would I?”

“Are you? Needed, I mean? What’s the worst crime you’ve had to handle? A stolen bicycle?”

He chuckled. “That and a couple of three-oh-sevens.”

“Three-oh-sevens?”

“Drunk and disorderlies.”

She laughed again, and he leaned down and rested his arms on her door. It brought his face too near, his lips too close to hers. She swallowed a lump in her throat. He was so handsome, so...Noah. No matter what she told Miss Murdock and Daisy, and even herself, she wasn’t over him.

He didn’t speak for several moments. He stared into her eyes, then let his gaze roam over her hair and to her lips. Finally, he said, “Can we talk, Toby? We never really spoke much about what happened. You never let me tell my side.”

She dragged her gaze away and stared through the windshield across the street at the brightly painted awning over Sweet and Tasty Bakery. She couldn’t keep looking at him, doing so made her weak. “You told your side. You told me what happened, and I believed you.”

“Then why did you break up with me? Why aren’t we together?” When she didn’t answer, he took her chin in his hand and gently turned her to face him. “I thought about you the entire time I was away. Every day. I slept with your picture at night and prayed that God would bring you back to me.”

She pulled from his touch and pressed her fingers to his lips. “Don’t. Please, don’t.” Hearing him say the words tore her apart, even though they were the words she wanted to hear. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I can’t be with you.” Regret ripped through her heart “Not ever.”

He gripped her fingers and placed a soft kiss on the tips. She shuddered and tried to draw in a breath.

“Don’t say that.” His words were a tormented whisper. “Please don’t say that. I can’t lose you forever. I won’t.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t, don’t you see? Every time I think of you…with her. I get sick to my stomach. And every time I see you, I think of that night.” She opened her eyes and stared directly into his. “Looking at you makes me sick.”

He flinched. “You can’t mean that.”

“I do. Don’t you understand? My mother has tainted you…tainted us. She taints everything she touches, and I’ll never be free of her.”

He compressed his lips, his voice harsh when he spoke. “That’s your choice. You can’t define yourself by your mother’s actions. We’re responsible for our own lives, our own destiny.”

She snorted a laugh. “That sounds awful nice, but I haven’t ever had control of my destiny, my life. I’m tethered to my mother as long as she’s alive.”

She turned away from his scrutiny—afraid he could see her darkest thoughts. See that sometimes, she wished for her mother’s death. Would he still think she was the girl of his dreams if he knew that?

Chapter Three

The next night, Toby sat on her front porch, eating a dinner of macaroni cooked in tomato juice and watching dusk settle over the quiet neighborhood. Behind the walls, families were sitting down to dinner…mothers, fathers, and children gathered around the table sharing the events of their day. Inside the house, her mother was staring drunkenly at the TV screen, apparently unaware she was watching American Bandstand, a show she despised. Dick Clark’s voice filtered out, then a song she didn’t recognize played.

Her solitude out on the porch was peaceful yet…lonely. As if all the world had faded away, and there was only Toby, her mother, the crickets, and Dick Clark spinning records for just the two of them. A train whistle sounded in the distance, accentuating her isolation.

She tipped a bottle of orange Crush to her lips and once more focused on the pages of The End of The Affair. She was halfway into the book and was enthralled by Bendix’s obsession with Sarah. What would it be like to have someone love/hate you that much?

The phone shrilled from inside the house, and she jumped. The sound was somehow ominous, although she had no idea why. Her mother likely wouldn’t answer it, so Toby set her bowl on the porch swing, rushed inside, and snatched up the receiver.

She’d barely gotten the ‘hello’ out of her mouth when a sob came over the line. “Please come quickly.”

Shelley’s tear-filled voice set Toby’s warning meter to high. “What is it? Has something happened to your aunt?”

“She’s taken a turn for the worse. You must hurry if you want to say goodbye. There isn’t much time.”

Chills washed over Toby’s skin, and she dropped the phone into the cradle. No, she couldn’t be dying. They needed more time to help her get better.

Fighting back tears, she grabbed her keys and hurried to her car. She hardly remembered the drive to the hospital. There seemed to be a haze settling over her brain. Nothing registered until she reached the door to Miss Murdock’s room.

Shelley sat by the bed, holding her aunt’s hand. Her profile was to Toby, and her shoulders shook with silent sobs.

She turned when Toby entered, then looked down at the bed. “Aunt Florence, Toby is here to see you.”

Shelley stood and stepped back. Toby walked to the bed, her heart sinking into her stomach. Miss Murdock’s eyes were closed, and her face had gone from pale to gray.

Toby suppressed the urge to weep and took hold of her hand. “Hi,” she managed to choke out.

“Toby…so nice of you to…come to…” a weary breath sighed from her. “…say goodbye.”

Toby brought her hand to her lips and kissed it. Grief welled in her chest, and tears streamed down her face. “No, no, this isn’t goodbye. You’re going to be fine.”

A small smile touched Miss Murdock’s lips, and her eyes opened. “You’re…such a…good girl. So strong. Don’t let…anyone take that away.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“But…don’t be so…so strong you…” She drew a labored breath. “…are afraid to…love.”

Toby bit back a cry. “Save your strength. You just need to rest and get better.”

“I’ll be…better…soon.” She looked up, and a joyous smile touched her mouth, reflected in her blue eyes. “I’m…going home.”

****

That night, Toby slept fitfully. She would doze off and when she awoke, for a split second, would forget Miss Murdock had died. Then the realization would come flooding back, and she’d cry all over again.

She had stayed at the hospital until they took Miss Murdock away. Her entire body felt numb, yet she hurt so much she could barely draw a full breath. She was gone. Toby would never hear her infectious laugh, never be held in her comforting hugs again.

At seven a.m., she dragged herself out of bed, sleep-deprived and grief-stricken, but determined.

Miss Murdock had said Toby was like her, that she was strong. But what had she done? She’d let Rivers push her around. Let him make her back off instead of helping Miss Murdock. Now she was gone. She most likely had life insurance, and that would cover the medical bills and funeral costs, but she deserved more. She deserved to be memorialized, and Toby needed to know the woman she idolized wouldn’t be disappointed in her.

She dressed in a black pencil skirt and white blouse with a ruffled collar and drove to the school. Georgia rang Mr. Rivers, then said Toby could go in.

His signature frown firmly in place, he stood behind his desk, arms crossed. “What can I help you with? I thought we settled all the business about the dance.”

She lifted her chin and channeled Miss Murdock’s spirit of fortitude. “I’ve changed my mind. We will play rock and roll after all. The kids are expecting it, the tickets are sold, and I plan to go through with my promise.”

He pressed his hands atop his desk and glowered. “I thought I made myself clear. There will be no rock and roll.” A cold smile touched his mouth. “Aren’t you forgetting about your potential career here? I can end it before it even starts.”

“Maybe so. But that’s a chance I’ll have to take. I won’t be bullied.”

He picked up the phone. “I’m calling the board now and suggesting you be replaced.” He dialed as he spoke. “And if you get any ideas about one of your cronies taking up your cause, I’ll have them replaced, too. You will not win against me. If you keep pushing, I’ll make sure you never work in this school district.”

His words sent chills of dread racing over her skin, but she made an effort to keep her expression impassive. “You do what you have to do, and so will I.”

Without waiting for a response, she turned and strode from his office. Once she was on the other side of the door, an attack of nerves combined with elation washed over her.

She’d done it. She’d stood up to him and held her ground. Now she just needed to figure out what to do next. What would Miss Murdock have done?

An idea occurred that increased her nervousness. Mr. Rivers might get rid of her, but she wouldn’t go quietly.

****

Toby spent two hours gathering materials at the Five and Dime and making signs. She thought about asking the other committee members to join her but didn’t want them to risk their positions. So, it would just be her. And four protest signs.

She drove to the Rivers’ house—the home Noah grew up in, although she’d heard he had his own apartment now. Two-story houses lined either side of the street. When she and Noah had gone steady, she hadn’t come here. His father didn’t approve of their relationship, and although Noah insisted she should feel comfortable at his home, she couldn’t bring herself to venture into unwelcome territory, to face the condemnation, the looks that said she wasn’t good enough for their son.

Shaking off the memories, she climbed from her car. The neighborhood was quiet, the only sound the distant barking of dogs.

She opened the back door and retrieved a sign that read, ‘Principal Rivers is a square.’ Holding the sign up high, she walked back and forth in front of his house. A car cruised by, slowed, then moved on. Other than that, there was no activity, no one stirred.

She’d been marching for fifteen minutes—beginning to wonder why she was bothering, what if they never discovered she was protesting?—when the front door opened, and Mr. Rivers stormed down the porch stairs. Her stomach dipped, but she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Even in the semi-darkness, she could see the purple veins sticking out on his forehead. “You’d better get out of here, now! Before I call the police.”

“I’m not doing anything wrong.” She tried to prevent her voice from warbling. “I’m not even on your property.”

He lifted his fist in the air. “I swear you’ll be kicked off the alumni committee. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you pay for this, whatever way I can.”

Without a word, she set the sign on the ground and picked up another that read, ‘Rivers hates teenagers’ and once more began marching along the sidewalk, ignoring Mr. Rivers. Although it wasn’t easy to do, she blocked out his yelling and threats, and after a few moments, his front door slammed. Good. He’d gotten the message. She wasn’t backing down.

Ten minutes later, a police cruiser pulled up and stopped by the curb. She chewed on the thumbnail of her free hand, waiting. She wasn’t sure whether to feel relief or dread when Noah stepped out of the vehicle.

“What’s going on, Toby?” He slowly walked toward her, arms crossed, his handsome face drawn into a scowl.

“Your father is a stubborn bully, and I’m protesting. I would think it’s pretty obvious.”

“Yes, I know what you’re doing, what I want to know is why?”

“Why? Because, he’s got no good reason to forbid us from playing rock and roll. Not only do the kids deserve to have fun at the dance, Miss Murdock—” Her throat clogged and she swallowed back tears. “—deserves a memorial. Your father doesn’t even care. Apparently, neither do you.”

Noah blew a breath out and rested his hands on his belt. “I do care, but this isn’t the way to go about it.”

“No? Then maybe you can tell me what is.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know exactly, but you’re causing a disturbance, and I have to stop you.”

“Stop me?” She halted and crossed her arms, the sign dangling from one hand. “Are you going to arrest me, Noah Rivers?”

He looked away, then at the ground and back up at her. “I don’t think it will come to that. Just be a good girl and head on home.”

“I’m not going anywhere. You’ll have to arrest me.” She met his gaze in challenge.

His golden brown eyes flickered with uncertainty, then with resolve that should have warned her. He took the sign from her hand and looped his arm around her waist, lifting her off the ground. She was pressed against his warm, strong body, and lost her breath. Tingly sensations moved through her lower belly.

“Noah! You put me down this instant. What do you think you’re doing?”

He ignored her and carried her to his car. He opened the back door with the hand that held the sign and plopped her down on the back seat.

“You can’t do this to me.” She scrambled to get out, but he blocked her way. “I didn’t break a law.”

“We’ll come get your car tomorrow when you’ve had a chance to come to your senses. I’m not taking you to jail, I’m taking you home.”

“Then I’ll call Daisy to pick me up, and we’ll come back here and protest again.”

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, shaking his head. “Damn, stubborn…”

“That’s right. I’m not giving up, so you can either arrest me, or leave me be. You’re just like your father, thinking you can bully—”

With a growl of frustration, he took hold of her shoulders and hauled her from the car. His lips landed on hers, cutting off her gasp. He cupped a hand behind her head and pulled her to him. She went willingly, swept away in a fog of yearning.

Noah’s tongue slid past her lips, and she clutched his shoulders, wanting to push away, but not having the strength. He slipped his hands beneath her blouse and caressed her lower back. With his warm hands against her skin, his hard body pressed to hers…all thoughts of protest fled, there was only this moment, this man she’d never stopped wanting.

With a groan, he pulled away. She bit back a cry of disappointment.

His voice husky, eyes heavy-lidded, he said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

She nodded and wiped her mouth. “It’s okay. I guess it was the only way to shut me up.”

His mouth curved in a wry grin. “Yeah, that’s all it was. It had nothing to do with those kissable lips of yours, that soft as velvet skin. Or the hole that opened up in my heart the day you ended things.” A dark look came over his face. “Go home, Toby.” He heaved a sigh. “Or don’t. Stay out here all night and drive my old man crazy for all I care. I’m done.”

He set her on the street and shoved the sign in her hand, then climbed into his car and peeled away.

She stared after him, a cold, hard knot of sadness settling in her chest. Noah was done with her. That was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Then why did it feel like her heart was splintered into a million pieces?

Chapter Four

The following day at work, Toby was exhausted. Even though she’d shut down the protest and gone home after Noah left, she’d barely slept.

Her spirits lifted a little when Daisy came in and settled at a booth. Toby stood next to the table while her friend scrutinized her. “Geez. You look like hell.”

“Yeah, I feel like hell.” She rubbed the back of her hand across her forehead where a headache was pushing at her skull. “The usual?” Daisy always ordered a burger, fries, and an RC cola. She only ate half so she could keep her figure, but she wouldn’t give up the food she loved.

“Yes, please.”

Toby placed her order on the cook’s wheel and poured a cola. When she returned to the table, Daisy grinned. “I heard what happened last night.”

At first, she thought she meant the kiss, then realized that would be ridiculous. Noah definitely wouldn’t tell anyone, and neither had she. Not even Daisy. “You mean the protest that went sour?”

“Yeah, that was a pretty brave thing to do.”

Toby rolled her eyes. “Pretty stupid. And useless. We still can’t play rock and roll. We’ve already had almost a hundred people request a refund.”

“That stinks.” Daisy slurped from the straw. “No other ideas?”

“Nothing. You have any?”

“Well…” She swirled her straw in the soda and shot Toby a look from beneath her lashes. “You could use your charm on Noah. Then maybe he can convince his dad to change his mind.”

Charm Noah? Sure, the way he looked at her last night, she’d have more luck charming a snake. “I don’t think that would work. Noah probably has no influence with his dad, and I certainly have no influence with him.”

“Since when?”

Toby shrugged. “Listen, I need to get back to work. My shift’s almost over, and I have to finish my side duties. We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Sure. Later.”

After work, Toby headed across the nearly deserted parking lot to her car. A breeze chilled her, and she closed her sweater more snugly, wishing she’d worn a coat. The night was still, thick with fog. She squinted, trying to peer through the darkness that was only slightly diminished by the street lights. She heard a sound like footsteps but didn’t see the man until he was directly in front of her. A small yelp of fear escaped her, then she halted and brought a hand up to her chest. “Good grief, Wes, you scared the daylights out of me.”

Wes shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and leaned against her car. “Oh yeah? Made your heart pound, did I?”

She was in no mood for his smarmy Casanova shtick. “Get out of my way.”

“How about you make me?” He pushed off the Bel Air and stepped closer to her. “No steak knife this time, huh? No big bad ex-boyfriend cop either. Looks like you’re kind of in a spot.”

Her heart thudded in her ears. She glanced around the darkened parking lot. All alone. And Wes didn’t look like he was messing around. His eyes held a feral gleam that was part satisfaction, part revenge. She’d known him for years, and never thought he would hurt anyone, even though he was a creep. But the look he gave her now told her he was capable of anything.

“Get lost, Wes. I mean it. I just want to go home.”

“Oh, sure, you can go home, but not ’til I’ve had a little taste of what you’ve been sharing with Rivers. Your momma ain’t nearly as stingy as you are. You just ask my old man.”

Oh God. Her mother had screwed Wes’s father? Nausea crawled to her throat. How many men in town hadn’t she slept with?

She clenched her jaw and made her voice firm. “I don’t give a damn who my mother fooled around with. I am not her, and if you don’t get out of my way this instant, you’ll regret it.”

The smirky smile dropped off his face, and anger replaced it. “Who you think you’re talking to, girlie?” He grabbed her forearms and jerked her to him. “I think it’s time you learned a lesson you won’t soon forget.”

He smashed his lips on hers, then his tongue probed at her clenched mouth. She fought back bile. His kisses were nothing like Noah’s. Wes’s wet mouth disgusted her, where Noah’s touch made her swoon. She pressed her palms against his shoulders and pushed, but he didn’t back off. His breath sped up, and he panted into her mouth, his breath reeking of beer and onions. He grabbed a handful of her hair and jerked her head back, straining the tendons in her neck.

“No!” Her muffled scream against his mouth only seemed to incite him.

He gripped the front of her blouse and tugged. Buttons scattered, bouncing on the ground with tiny pings. Cool air hit her skin, and panic skittered through her blood. He was going to rape her…Noah wouldn’t be her first. This jerk, this disgusting pig was going to take her virginity.

With an enraged cry, she shoved against him as hard as she could. He stumbled away, tripped, and slammed backward into the concrete. A sickening thud resounded in the darkness. Wes lay still.

“Oh God,” she whimpered. “Wes?” She knelt beside him. “Wes, wake up!” She was afraid to touch him, in case he was… No, he couldn’t be dead. But a stream of blood leaked out from beneath his head.

She shot to her feet and staggered back. “Help!” Her scream reverberated off the silent buildings. “Help! Help! Please, somebody help me!”

Holding the edges of her sweater over her torn blouse, she ran back to the diner, pounding on the locked door. “Mr. Winstead, it’s me, Toby. Please. Open up.”

The door opened and Winstead appeared, bushy gray eyebrows drawn together in a frown. He wiped his hands on his greasy apron. “What in Sam Hill’s going on?”

“Call an ambulance. Wes is hurt.”

“What happened?”

“He fell.” No need to go into the entire story right now. “Just please, please, call for help.”

“Sure, sure.” He disappeared inside.

Toby’s entire body trembled. She wrapped her sweater tighter around her, but it didn’t help. She was cold on the inside, deeply, thoroughly frozen.

Sirens sounded, and a police cruiser pulled up behind an ambulance. A part of her prayed that Noah would climb from the car, but the other part prayed he wouldn’t. What would he think of her now? Now that she might have killed a man?

Relief swept through her when Officer Fullerman stepped out of the cruiser. Paramedics were tending to Wes, but Officer Fullerman strode over to her. “Toby? What happened?”

Tears chilled on her cheeks, and her words came out in a hiccupping sob. “He…he attacked me and I…” She drew in a shaky breath. “I only tried to get away from him, but when I pushed him, he…fell. Hard. His head hit the ground and…it sounded like…” She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Like a watermelon bursting, and…” The trembles increased, and Officer Fullerman put his arm around her. “Oh, God. I think I killed him.”

He glanced over to the ambulance, then led her to his car. “Let’s get you somewhere warm. I’ll take you down to the station so you can give your statement.”

Toby nodded. Her teeth chattered so hard she could barely hear his words. She climbed into the car and prayed with all she was worth that Wes would be okay.

****

Noah wasn’t at the station when she arrived. They gave her coffee and questioned her for hours. The officers were polite, but suspicion hovered in their eyes. And why not? She was a Lawson. No telling what she might be capable of.

Every five minutes, she asked for news of Wes’s condition. She finally learned that he was okay. His head required stitches, but there would be no lasting injuries. Her entire body sagged with relief. Regardless of what a creep Wes was, she couldn’t live with herself if she’d killed him.

Officer Fullerman finally took her back to her car, advising her that pending an investigation, charges could possibly be filed. She was so bone weary, so emotionally drained, she couldn’t bring herself to ask what he meant.

When she got home, she took one of her mother’s sleeping pills, stripped her clothes off, and dropped into bed. Blissful sleep soon claimed her, but she was jerked out of it by a ringing phone. She blinked sleepily at the clock on her night stand. Nine a.m. Wow. She’d really been out of it.

She brushed hair back from her face and answered the phone.

“Miss Lawson, Principal Rivers here.” Before she could form a response, he went on. “Your…escapades of last night have come to my attention.”

Escapades? She’d nearly been raped, nearly put a man in the hospital. He made it sound like she’d been caught doing the Twist naked in the town square.

“I have contacted the board, and we are in agreement. You are off the committee. They left the final decision up to me. After this incident, you have no defense.”

She sat up in bed, too numb to even decide how she felt about it. Still, she made a half-hearted attempt to state her case. “Last night wasn’t my fault. Wes…attacked me and I—”

His gruff laugh cut her off in mid-sentence. “Please, Miss. Lawson. We both know the kind of girl you are. Tramps are always found out in the end. Now the whole town knows, including my son. We’ve always known he was too good for you. Now he realizes it, too.”

Her heart ached with hopelessness. He was right. Maybe this was best. She would never be free of her mother. She and Noah could never be together anyway. Who was she kidding? She was nothing like Miss Murdock. The woman deserved to be honored, but Toby wasn’t the person to do it.

Chapter Five

Toby slept most of the day. When she finally dragged herself out of bed, she found her mother stretched out on the sofa, wearing a dingy pink bathrobe, a half empty vodka bottle dangling from her fingers.

“Hey, sugah.” Constance often imagined herself as Scarlett O’Hara and an incongruous southern accent appeared. She attempted to rise, tottered, then finally struggled to a sitting position. “I thou-thought you were goin-ta sleep your life away.”

Toby rubbed her hands over her face. “I wish I could.”

“Ah, come now, surely it’sssnot all that bad.”

“No? It’s worse.”

“Tell Momma all about it.” She patted the cushion next to her and stretched her mouth into a drunken smile. If it was meant to be comforting, she’d supremely failed.

“No, thanks. I think I’ll get out of here.”

“And go where?”

“I don’t know.” Toby sniffed back tears that threatened to surface. “I just need to go…somewhere.”

She called Daisy and asked if she wanted to go out. Her friend readily agreed and said she’d be there in an hour.

Toby went upstairs and showered, then dressed in a tight-fitting black cocktail dress. She smoothed stockings on and slipped her feet into high heels, fluffed her hair around her shoulders, applied eyeliner and dark red lipstick, and headed down.

Daisy showed up a few minutes later, and Toby climbed in beside her in the red Ford convertible.

“Where to?” Daisy asked. She wore a form fitting silver dress with matching pumps. Her hair was pulled back at the temples in glittering pins, with the ends hanging in fat curls.

“Let’s go to Blue Moon.”

Her pink-painted lips pulled down at the corners. “Blue Moon? But you don’t drink.”

“I do tonight.”

“What’s going on, hon?”

Toby told her what had happened, from her encounter with Wes, to the conversation with Mr. Rivers.

“Oh my God, you poor thing.” Anger shook her voice. “That…jerk, that creep, that…asshole. I’m glad you hurt him.”

“I almost killed him.”

“Ha! That’s what he deserved.” She fell silent for a few moments as she navigated the streets. “No doubt you’ve had a rough couple of days, but do you think going out and getting smashed is the answer?”

Toby closed her eyes and rubbed her thumb on her forehead. “I’m not looking for answers. I just want to forget. Even for a little while.”

“All right, then. I’m with you.”

In moments, they were pulling into the parking lot of the club. Jazz music reached her ears before they made it to the door. Inside, loud laughter rose. The cigarette smoke was so thick, she could only see silhouettes of people. A moment’s indecision made her pause. The place was dark, loud, crowded. She drew in a deep breath. Exactly what she needed to escape.

Daisy took her hand and led her between tables to a bar. Liquor bottles of all hues and designs lined the shelves. The bartender was a guy with reddish brown hair and black-framed glasses. He looked to be a few years older than she and Daisy. He leaned his hands on the bar. “Hey, Daisy, who’s the knockout?”

Toby flushed with discomfort, yet, the compliment bolstered her ego. He hadn’t said it in a smarmy way that made her want to take a shower, like Wes did. Somehow, it came out polite and kind of naughty in a good way.

“Cotton, this is my best friend, Toby. She’s a novice, so set her up with something mild.”

“Sure, darlin’. The usual for you?” At Daisy’s nod, he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and poured it into a glass, added a shot of coke, and slid the drink to her. “Now for you, honey, something sweet, like you.” He moved so quickly, Toby could barely keep track, but he poured rum, a few juices, and some pink liquid in a tall glass, added a slice of orange, and set the concoction in front of her. “Planter’s Punch. It has a kick, but the juices hide the liquor taste.”

She took a cautious sip. When the sweet, tangy liquid hit her tongue, she nearly moaned in delight. “Delicious! Thank you.”

They hadn’t been there five minutes when a man asked Daisy to dance. She followed him out to the floor. Toby watched them with a smile. Daisy was a great dancer. The two of them looked like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. They started another dance just as Toby finished the punch, and Cotton made her another. Her limbs had started to relax, and her brain felt a little like the bartender’s name, cotton. She liked it that way. She wasn’t worrying about Noah or her future or how badly she’d let Miss Murdock down. She was in the now, and it was exactly where she needed to be—no past, no future.

A middle-aged man wearing a blue suit with a bow tie asked her to dance, and she slid from the barstool and took his hand. They swing danced to “In the Mood”, and by the time the song ended, she was breathless—and elated. Excitement pumped through her blood. Look at what she’d been missing! Not any longer. She hadn’t been this carefree in…well, never.

Half way through her third cocktail, she leaned over and yelled into Daisy’s ear, “They got any rock and roll in this joint?”

She flinched and laughed. “Hey, you don’t need to shout when you’re right in my ear. I’ll go play some. Hang on.” She wove through the crowd and returned a few moments later. “Should be starting soon. Are you having fun?”

“A blast.”

“I’m glad, but you might want to take it easy on the booze. You’re not used to drinking. It can really put you under the first time.”

“I’m jushh—” Toby halted, swallowed, enunciated carefully, “Just fine.”

“All the same, maybe you shouldn’t have any more.”

She opened her mouth to respond when “That’ll be the Day” by Buddy Holly played. “Oh my God, I love this song!” She jumped from the barstool. Dizziness swam through her head, and she nearly lost her balance. She grabbed the edge of the bar until she was steady. “Let’s dance.” She tugged Daisy out on the floor with her. They were soon joined by several others, and the floor became packed with bodies. After that song ended, “Shake, Rattle, and Roll” by Elvis started. Adrenaline shot through her, and she whooped loudly.

“This is a total blast!” she shouted to Daisy.

A man grabbed Toby around the waist and danced with his body pressed to hers. Even in her happy daze, it felt…nauseating, but she wasn’t going to spoil this night by making a scene.

Daisy took hold of her arm. “Come on, I think it’s time to go now.”

Toby tugged out of her grip. “Go? No way. I’m having the time of my life.”

“Yeah, but things are getting a little too wild for your first time out. We need to call it a night.”

Toby poked a finger in her chest. “You call it a night, and I’ll get a ride home.”

“I’m not—”

Toby shut her out and continued dancing. She wasn’t sure how many songs had played before she became aware of wooziness crowding her brain. She squinted and glanced around the bar. No sign of Daisy. Had she really left?

Oh well, Toby had told her to. To hell with her and everyone else. She didn’t need anyone. She had Elvis and Planter’s Punch and a ton of new friends.

“I Was the One” by Elvis started, and one of the men took her hand and pulled her into a slow dance. He bent his head, and his mouth landed on hers. She frowned, not liking the way his lips felt. He was a stranger, and he was…gross. She was about to pull back when a hand landed on her arm.

“Toby? What the hell are you doing?”

Noah? Oh God. She pushed her dance partner away, He frowned and seemed about to say something, then looked over his shoulder. Shaking his head, he disappeared into the crowd. She turned to find Noah, his eyes blazing with anger, staring down at her.

Although relieved he’d rescued her, she wasn’t going to let him know that. “What am I doing? What are you?” The words seemed to be missing something. She frowned, searching her brain. Oh yeah... “doing here, I mean.”

“Daisy called me, and it’s a good thing she did. Come on, I’m getting you out of here.” He took hold of her hand and tugged.

“She-she’s s’pose to be my friend. She’sa traitor, a Judas, a Benedict. Wait ’til I see her…” Toby continued to mumble while Noah pulled her through the crowd.

Wait a minute. Who did he think he was? She dug her heels in and stopped. Noah halted too, turning back to her with a deeper scowl than the one he’d worn before. “Come on, we’re getting out of here.”

“Nope. I’m not done having fun. I want to dance.” She stepped toward him and looped her arms around his neck. A slow song she didn’t recognize was playing. “Dance with me, Noah.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. His body was warm against hers, and she thought she detected a slight hitch to his breath. “I need to get you home.” His voice had lowered so much it was barely audible, but she heard him.

“Not quite yet.” Being held in his arms felt so…right…so perfect. Even though her senses were dulled by the alcohol, she could easily detect the difference in dancing with him and dancing with strangers. Her heart thudded hard, and she stared into his amber eyes. “Kiss me.”

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, then opened them. His muscles tightened beneath her hands. He took hold of her arms and pried them from his neck. “I’m getting you home,” he said in a voice that sounded unsteady.

She stood on her tiptoes and plastered her mouth and body to his. He tensed and tried to pull back, but she gripped the back of his head with her hands and pressed harder against his lips. A few catcalls and whistles barely penetrated her consciousness. This was Noah. This was right.

She sensed when his body relaxed, and he returned the kiss. His hands slipped down to her hips and pulled her tighter to him. He deepened the kiss, probing her lips with his tongue. She opened for him, and his tongue searched the recesses of her mouth. Heaven, pure Heaven…

An ugly thought intruded on her ecstasy…had it been like this with her mother? Resentment penetrated her fog of euphoria, and she tugged away long enough to murmur, “Who kisses better? Me or my mother?”

He blinked as if not sure what he’d heard. Then, a hard look came into his eyes, and he set her from him with a not-so-gentle shove. “What the…? I should just leave your ass right here. It would serve you right.”

She ran her nail along his cheek. “Ah, come on, Noah. You wouldn’t do that to me, would you? How about you and I go somewhere private and finish what we started at Make Out Point? We’re grownups now. No reason to hold off.”

He raked a hand through his hair and shook his head. “Good God, Toby, what’s gotten into you?”

“What’s the matter?” Unexpectedly, a sob rose to her chest. She suddenly wasn’t happy anymore. She was deeply, thoroughly sad. “I thought men liked tramps.”

His expression softened, and he gave her a tender smile. “You’re not a tramp, Toby. For God’s sake, your mother really did a number on you.” A dark look crossed his face. “And that bastard, Wes… I wanted to kill him when I found out what he tried to do to you. Don’t let a scumbag like that make you feel bad about yourself. Other people might hold your mother’s reputation against you, but not me. I know the real you.”

Easy for him to say, but he didn’t walk in her shoes, didn’t suffer the ridicule, the shame of being Constance Lawson’s daughter.

She sighed and lifted a hand to brush the hair out of her face. His rejection might sting tomorrow, once she sobered up, but for now, she was spent. She just wanted to crawl into bed and pull the covers over her head. Sleep for a week.

“Please take me home,” she whispered.

She barely remembered the drive. Noah took her key and opened her front door. Her mother was in the living room. She jumped to her feet and rushed over to them. “Where on Earth have you been? It’s two in the morning. I was worried sick.”

Maybe it was just because of Toby’s own inebriated state, but she seemed…sober.

“I just went…” She had no energy to even finish the sentence. The room spun, and she was afraid she would be sick if she didn’t lie down soon.

“Come on, honey. I’ll get you to bed.” Noah threw a glance over his shoulder at her mother. “I need to talk to you before I go.”

A twinge of worry that they would do more than talk arose, then she had no thoughts at all. Only the feel of Noah’s arms beneath her shoulders and knees when he lifted her and carried her up the stairs, tucked her into her big soft bed, laid a feather light kiss on her forehead, turned out the light…

****

“Sugah, are you awake?”

Someone had packed Toby’s head with cement and was using a jack hammer to drill through it. Her mouth was filled with sand, and her stomach roiled. She blinked her eyes open. Her mother sat on the edge of the bed, wearing a tailored suit, matching beret, and gloves. Toby hadn’t seen her this together in years. Her hazel eyes were clear. Sober again?

As shocking as the knowledge was, she felt too lousy to care. She groaned and closed her eyes, tugging the covers over her head.

“Come on, now. We need to get you up and about.”

“I’m dying,” she mumbled into the pillow.

Her mother’s light laughter tinkled through the air. “Don’t be silly. You just feel like you’re dying. Wish you could die. Welcome to your first hangover.” She patted Toby’s arm. “Come on, sit up. Drink this.”

“I’ll never drink anything again.”

“This will help, I promise.”

Toby moved the pillow aside and sat up. The room spun, and she closed her eyes.

“Don’t do that. Closing your eyes only makes it worse.” She thrust two aspirin and a glass toward her. “Here you go. I have some dry toast for you, too. You need something on your tummy.”

Toby took the aspirin and red liquid and brought the glass to her nose. The smell of pepper sauce and tomato juice assaulted her nostrils. She frowned, but popped the aspirin in her mouth and turned the glass up, draining the contents. A slimy, odd taste mingled with the spicy liquid. She shuddered. “What’s in that?”

“A few special ingredients, among them, a raw egg.”

She coughed, almost retching, and shuddered. “Disgusting.”

“It’s good for you. Eat this and hop in the shower.” She picked a saucer up from the nightstand that held two pieces of dry toast.

“Why can’t I just stay in bed all day?”

“Because, we have something to take care of. If it works, it will be better than any hangover cure in the world.”

Toby’s head was still foggy, but even if it hadn’t been, she was sure she wouldn’t understand her meaning. She choked down as much of the toast as she could, then took a shower. The water revived her some, but she still wanted to die.

She sat in silence while her mother drove. How long had it been since her mom had been sober enough to get behind the wheel?

Toby studied her calm, confident demeanor. “Mom, what’s going on? You’re…different this morning.”

She was silent for several moments, then said, “I suppose I am.” A small secret smile touched her mouth. “We’ll talk about that later. Right now, we have business to transact.”

She slowed the car at the school and turned into the lot.

“What are we doing here? I can’t go in there.”

“You can, and you will. Trust me.”

Toby let out a long, put-upon sigh and followed her into the school building. Her mother’s heels clacked on the floor, echoing in the silence. Class was in session, and the halls were deserted. She stopped at Principal Rivers’ office and went inside. Dread pooled in Toby’s stomach, but she didn’t speak. Constance was a woman on a mission and apparently wouldn’t be swayed.

“We’re here to see Daniel,” she told the secretary.

Toby flinched at her use of his first name. Georgia frowned. “One moment please.” She picked up the receiver. “Mr. Rivers, Toby Lawson and her mother are here to see you.” She listened for a moment. “Yes, sir.”

She hung up and plastered a professional smile on her face. “I’m afraid he can’t see you right now, but if you would like to make an appointment, I can try to schedule you in.”

Constance smiled. “Tell him to check his calendar one more time. If he can’t see us now, we’ll drop by his home this evening to speak with him.”

Georgia tightened her lips, but made the call. In moments, Mr. Rivers’ office door swung open. Scowling, he motioned them inside. He didn’t offer them a seat, and he didn’t take one himself. “What’s the meaning of this?”

Constance crossed her arms and smiled. “I’ll make this short, Daniel. You’ve been ramrodding and treating my daughter shabbily for too long. You treat her like some piece of…trash. Much like you did me, but she’s not like me. And you of all people should know that.”

His scowl deepened. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh, I’m sure you do. After all, you have…intimate knowledge of me. If you don’t back off now, reinstate her to the committee, and approve her application, I’ll tell everyone about our little rendezvous last year when your wife and daughter went to visit her sick mother. By everyone, I mean I’ll start with Mrs. Rivers.”

His face reddened. “You—that’s a lie. No one would ever believe it.”

“No? If I’m lying, how would I know exactly what the inside of your bedroom looks like? And how would I know about that birthmark on the inside of your upper thigh.” She turned to Toby. “Does Noah have a birthmark like his father?”

Toby’s face burned. “I—I don’t know.”

“Well, anyway.” She turned back to Mr. Rivers. “I’m sure you understand the position you’re in. I suggest you act quickly. You have until five o’clock to make all this go away and confirm the dance is still on.” She sauntered to the door, and Toby followed. With a hand on the knob, Constance paused, turned back to Mr. Rivers, and winked. “Tick tock, darling.”

They headed to the car, Toby’s mind whirling with what she’d just witnessed—what she’d heard. Her mother had been…intimate with Noah’s father? For cripe’s sake, what wouldn’t she do? Toby tried to be angry at her, but she was so pleased at what she’d done, she couldn’t even work up irritation.

“Thank you,” she said once they were in the car. “I—I can’t believe you did that for me.”

She gave a wry chuckle. “Oh trust me, sweetheart, I owe you much more than that.”

“What…what brought that on?”

“You can thank young Noah. After he put you to bed last night, he read me the riot act.”

“Noah did that?”

“He did. He said, ‘Between you and my father, you’re wrecking her life. And the sad part is, you don’t give a damn any more than he does.’”

Toby cringed. Noah had really let her have it. “I’m sorry.” She really wasn’t, but felt she should say it.

“Don’t be. I deserved it. He was wrong about one thing. I do care, but he made me realize I haven’t shown that I do. Not in years, and that’s so unfair to you.” She put a cool, soft hand on Toby’s cheek. “You are the best daughter a mother could have, and I’ve been just horrible. I’ve made a mess of being a mother. I’ve left you to your own. You’ve had to take care of me.”

“You haven’t been that bad.”

She smiled. “If I’d been the mother I should have, I’d have taught you not to lie, but you just told a whopper.”

Toby laughed. “Well, maybe I did stretch the truth.”

“You’re so smart, so strong. But you’re compassionate, too. I don’t want you to end up like me.” She gave a small, humorless chuckle, and her eyes took on a faraway expression. “I wasn’t always like this, though. I was once a lot like you, except not nearly as brave. But I had a good heart. I was happy, and I tried to make others happy, too. After your father passed away, I was a wreck. Nothing else seemed to matter, and it should have, because I had a wonderful, beautiful daughter who needed me. But I was so focused on my own pain, that I failed to consider yours.” She wiped tears from her eyes with a handkerchief. “I went to pieces when I lost the love of my life. Don’t let that happen to you. Hold on to Noah with all your might.”

She shook her head. “No, we can never—”

“Never say never, darling.” She took Toby’s hands and squeezed. “Listen to me carefully. I had no choice in losing the man I loved. You do. The only way you could possibly end up like me is if you’re foolish enough to let love pass you by. And if I know my daughter, you’re not that foolish.”

Chapter Six

The week leading up to the dance was so busy, Toby barely had time to do anything except work and prepare for the event. But in the back of her mind, her mother’s words kept pushing through. Would she really end up like Constance if she lost Noah? No, that was ridiculous. Like she said, Toby was stronger than she was. Although, she was starting to wonder why she was fighting her feelings so hard. Noah hadn’t done anything with her mother. Constance had initiated it. But how could she really be sure it had all been one-sided? He was a man, after all, and apparently her mother could have just about any man she wanted.

Did that include Noah?

Toby shook her head. No time to dwell on that. The dance started in an hour, and she had to arrive early to make sure the DJ was there and everything was ready to go. The hall was ablaze with lights and inside, crepe paper in black, red, and white draped from the ceiling and adorned the columns. Balloons floated loose over the large dance floor. On the walls were posters of Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Buddy Holly, Little Richard, and other rock and roll singers. Blue paper cut in the shape of guitars and drum sets were scattered between the posters. Blanche and Suzette had done a phenomenal job on the decorations.

A portrait of Miss Murdock rested on an easel next to the DJ booth. Her kind eyes smiled from the canvas, and a lump rose to Toby’s throat. Cal Megalorn was in place, wearing headphones. He was a local radio disc jockey who’d been Miss Murdock’s student, and he’d volunteered to spin records for the dance.

At seven sharp, the doors opened and ticket holders poured into the concert hall. Music and laughter rose around Toby, and her heart swelled with pride. Miss Murdock would have been thrilled at the turnout.

Cal’s voice came over the mic when “The Wanderer” ended. “Welcome, ladies and gents. Tonight is about having a ball, but it’s also about honoring a special lady. Florence Murdock was an angel with a heart of gold and a fist of iron. I’m sure she touched most of the lives in here tonight. I’d like to thank the committee for the fine work they did in putting this shindig together. Here’s a song I’m sending out to Miss Murdock. She will forever be missed.”

He played “Special Angel.” Although Toby tried not to cry, tears welled in her eyes. Her heart was heavy with sadness over losing Miss Murdock, but she took comfort in the thought that she was watching from Heaven, and found the homage fitting.

The crowd livened up when Cal played more upbeat music following his tribute song. Toby poured a cup of punch and tamped down the urge to join the people on the dance floor.

She was taking a sip of her drink when she spotted Noah. He headed toward her, wearing a black suit with satin lapels and a gray shirt with a narrow black tie. His dark hair had grown out some from his military cut, and he looked…dreamy.

She gulped the punch to wet her dry mouth.

“Hi, Toby.” His low, husky tone caressed her. “You look beautiful.”

She wore a silky beaded white dress with her hair piled atop her head and ringlets hanging down at her ears. When Noah looked at her that way, she felt beautiful.

“Thank you. You look nice, too.” She was proud of the strength of her voice when her insides were quivering.

“I’ve requested a song from Cal. When it plays, you’re dancing with me.”

She opened her mouth to protest his presumptuous attitude, but there was nothing she wanted more at that moment than to be in his arms, regardless of how he’d asked her—or what song was playing.

A teasing light came into his eyes. “What? No indignation? No tongue-lashing?”

She shrugged, trying to play it casual. “It’s a dance, after all. I suppose we’re expected to dance.”

“Playing for Keeps” started, and Elvis’ rich, magical voice permeated her heart, her soul.

Noah held out his hand. “May I have this dance?”

She couldn’t speak, could only move into the circle of his arms, melt against him as they glided across the dance floor. The crowd faded away. Noah’s chest against her ear, his hand searing the skin on her lower back, were all that she was aware of.

She thought she felt his lips on her hairline, felt him place a gentle kiss there, but she couldn’t be sure. Everything was surreal; she didn’t know what was true and what was fantasy. She only knew that she never wanted the moment to end.

Noah’s lips moved from her hairline to her cheek. He whispered into her ear, “I’m playing for keeps, too, Toby. I’ll never stop loving you. Not even when I take my last breath.”

Her heart squeezed. Chills moved over her skin. This was heavenly, he was heavenly, and she’d been such a fool. Nothing could ever replace the way he made her feel. She was alive, fulfilled when she was with him. Although she wasn’t necessarily happy around him all the time, even when she was angry or sad, she was content. Whole.

Did she want to risk losing that when she was certain she could never find it with another guy?

She pulled back and looked up at him. She opened her mouth, thinking she was going to confess her love. Instead, she heard herself say, “Your father hates me.”

His jaw clenched, and he shook his head. “Another excuse? Are you for real? I don’t care what my father thinks. And you can’t hold what happened with your mother against me. You know it wasn’t my fault. That’s not even the real reason you’re resisting your feelings. You’re just scared.”

The song ended, and Noah took hold of her hand, pulling her through the crowd and into the evening air.

“Noah, we can’t. I have to stay for the—”

“This is it. I meant what I said, I will love you until my last breath, but I can’t keep beating my head against a wall. Do you love me or am I just wasting my time?”

She did love him, so why did the words freeze up in her vocal cords? He was right. She was afraid. She’d been holding onto the excuse that she couldn’t get past his kissing her mother, but the truth was, she was afraid she wasn’t good enough for him. And if she gave their love a chance, he’d realize it, too.

She’d been quiet for several moments, and he finally shook his head and released her. “I guess that’s all the answer I need.” He took a step back, then waited. He was still giving her a chance, even after as stubborn as she’d been.

Tell him. Just tell him you don’t want to lose him. You can figure the rest out later…

“Excuse me, Toby?” She turned toward the shaky, male voice and found Johnny standing behind her. “Uh, I’m sorry, but…there’s been a fire. It’s your house.”

Panic nearly drove her to her knees. “Oh, God. My mother…she’s at home…” She must be drinking again. She’d gone to sleep with a lit cigarette like before. Sirens wailed in the distance.

“Come on.” Noah put his hand on her back and hurried her to his car. She shook so badly her teeth chattered. “Don’t worry,” he soothed. “She’s okay, I’m sure of it.” His words were meant to be reassuring, but she heard the underlying alarm.

Toby wanted to scream, “How can you be sure?” But her throat closed and no words would come, just a clog of tears trying to escape into sobs.

Noah sped to her house and screeched to a stop at the curb. Fire trucks were there, spraying water from hoses in large streams, but orange-yellow flames climbed from the roof into the night sky.

Toby fumbled for the door handle and nearly fell from the car before Noah could come around and help her out.

“Where’s my mother?” she shouted, finally finding her voice.

No one paid attention to her. Noah rushed over to a fireman and grabbed his arm. “There was a lady in the house. Where is she?”

He frowned. “A lady? We didn’t think anyone was home.”

“Oh God.” A tortured scream tore from Toby, and she ran toward the front door. Noah caught up to her and pushed her back.

“I’ll go in. You stay here.”

“No, don’t you see, I have to—”

He gripped her shoulders and shook her, hard. “If she’s in there, I can get her out much easier than you can. And I don’t want to have to rescue you both. Got it?”

She hesitated for a split second, then nodded.

Noah started toward the door, and one of the firemen rushed up to him. “Sir, you can’t go in there. We’ve sent one of our guys to look for the occupant.” Noah turned to him. “Oh, it’s you, Rivers. Still, you need to stay back.”

“I know the layout of the house.” Noah spoke briskly, still heading for the door. “I’m going in.”

The fireman followed him and yanked off his jacket and helmet. “Then at least put these on.”

Noah did, running as he donned them. Toby’s heart filled with terror as he entered the inferno. The smell of smoke filtered through the air and ashy cinders flew from the house. Some landed on her face, but she was barely aware. She clasped her fingers together beneath her chin, praying with all her might that Noah and her mother would be all right.

All those times she’d had the horrible thought that her life would be easier if her mom died. And now, the thought of losing her was unbearable, devastating. She had to be okay. Please, God, please let her be okay.

It seemed like eons, but was probably less than a minute when a figure stumbled out of the front door. Noah…and he held her mother in his arms. A fireman followed behind.

Toby ran toward them, tears streaming down her face. Before she could reach them, a burly fireman grabbed her and held her back.

“Please.” She tried to pull away from the steel grip. “That’s my mother. Please, I have to see if she’s okay.”

A paramedic rushed over with a gurney. Noah settled Constance onto it, and the paramedic placed a mask over her face. Her eyes were closed. Black streaks marred her pale skin. She looked so…still.

“Mommy!” Toby screamed and fought harder to break loose. “Please, let me go to her.” She kicked the fireman in the leg. He let out a surprised yelp, and she was free. She rushed to her mother. The paramedic was rolling her toward the ambulance. “Is she okay?” Fear nearly choked off the words. “Is she alive?”

The paramedic flicked a quick glance at Toby over his shoulder. “She’s alive. She took in a lot of smoke and suffered some burns. Beyond that, we can’t tell until we get her to the hospital. We’ll do everything we can to help her.”

Strong arms snaked around her. Without turning, she knew it was Noah. “She—she could die,” Toby whimpered.

“She’s not going to. Come on, I’ll take you to the hospital.”

Toby nodded, dazedly stumbling beside Noah—praying that her ghastly thoughts of the past wouldn’t come true—that her mother wouldn’t die.

****

The waiting room at the hospital was nearly empty. Other than she and Noah, only a handful of people occupied the plastic chairs.

They waited in silence for the doctor. It had been half an hour according to Toby’s wrist watch, but each second dragged by in agonizing slowness. Noah’s comforting hand on her back had kept her grounded. He’d murmured a few placating words, but nothing had really registered—nothing other than his warm, soothing touch.

When footsteps sounded on the linoleum floor, she snapped her head up to find the doctor entering the waiting room. She jumped to her feet and rushed over to him. Noah followed.

“How is she?”

The doctor’s grim expression sent icy fear shooting through her veins.

“She inhaled a lot of smoke, but we’ve been giving her breathing treatments, and we’re hoping there will not be any lasting lung damage.” He put his hands in the pockets of his white coat. “She suffered second degree burns. If they hadn’t found her when they did, she likely wouldn’t be with us.”

Toby glanced over her shoulder at Noah, her heart swelling with love. He’d saved her mother’s life. She gave him a small smile of gratitude and turned back to the doctor.

“When can I see her?”

“She asked for a…Toby?” He glanced around the waiting room. “Do you know the young man?”

In spite of her worry, she had to smile. “I’m Toby.”

He chuckled. “Oh, well, pardon me. Yes, you can see her. But please only stay a few moments. She’s down the hall in room three-twenty-three.” The doctor smiled, and she thanked him.

“Want me to go with you?” Noah offered, his voice low.

She shook her head. “No, thank you.” He squeezed her hand and gave her a reassuring nod.

Toby walked down the hallway, her legs quivering. She paused outside her mother’s room, took a deep breath, then pushed the door open.

Her heart sank to her stomach, and she couldn’t control the cry that escaped when she saw her mother lying in the bed. Her skin was ashen, her eyes closed, and white bandages nearly covered her forehead and arms.

“Mom?” Toby ventured, not wanting to wake her if she was sleeping.

Constance turned her head, opened her eyes, and smiled. “Hi,” she rasped out.

She moved quickly to the bed and laid a gentle hand on the blanket covering her mother. “Hi yourself. How are you feeling?”

“Nothing that a…stiff drink won’t fix.” She gave a hoarse chuckle.

Toby forced a smile. “That’s probably the last thing you need.”

“You’re probably right. Maybe just water. Can you get it for me?”

She took the blue plastic pitcher from her bed table and poured water into the matching cup. “Here.”

Constance drank, then let her head fall back on the pillow.

“Better.” Her voice was clearer, but a slight roughness remained. “I’m so sorry, darling.”

“Sorry?”

“The fire was my fault. I—I did a careless thing, and your young man risked his life to save me.”

“Oh, Mom. I’m just glad you’re okay. I thought—for a minute there, I thought—”

“That I’d died?” Tears filled her eyes. “Wouldn’t you be better off if I had?”

Hearing her mother echo the same thought she’d had more than once sent remorse through her. God, what if she’d lost her? How would she have lived with herself?

“No, no I wouldn’t have been better off.” The words ended on a sob. “I love you. So much.”

“Still? After all I’ve done?”

“Of course I do.”

“I love you too, baby girl.” She rested her hand on Toby’s. “Is Noah here?”

“Yes, he’s in the waiting room.”

“Would you tell him thank you for me?”

“Sure I will.”

“And one more thing…tell him you love him. That you don’t want to lose him.”

Toby grimaced. “I’m not sure if Noah will still want me.”

“Honey, that man will never stop wanting you. Go to him. You two need to go on with your lives and stop worrying about me.”

Toby raised her brows. “Stop worrying about you? After tonight?” She wasn’t yet sure how much damage had been done to the house, but she knew it was unlivable at the moment. But the worst part was, people could have died…namely her mother and Noah.

Constance waved her free hand dismissively. “Oh, I know I set fire to our house, but what I mean is, I won’t be alone.”

“You won’t?”

She shook her head. “I’ve been seeing someone. He wants to marry me.”

“Seeing? Who?”

“Butch Markham.”

“What? Wes’s father?” Wes had mentioned the two of them sleeping together, and Toby had only half believed him, but marriage? “You’re marrying Wesley Markham’s father?”

“I am. He’s a good man. Good for me. And he loves me very much. Has for years.”

“Oh no.” She dropped her head into her hands. “Wes Markham is going to be my step-brother?” She wanted to say, did you know he tried to rape me? But her mother had been through enough tonight.

“Oh, don’t you worry about Wes. His father is making him go into the military.”

“Making him? Wes is a grown man.”

“Yes, but Butch threatened to cut him off if he didn’t join. He said Wes needed discipline that he could never give him. The man was widowed when Wes was a baby, and he indulged him his whole life.”

“Well, I’m not sure if the military can make a changed man of him, but at least we’ll be rid of him for a few years.”

She laughed. “Indeed.” Just as quickly, she sobered. “Do one thing for me. Promise me that you’ll be happy. That you won’t let my awful mistakes keep you from the joy you deserve.”

“Sure, I promise.” She placed a gentle kiss on her mother’s forehead. “Get some rest. I’ll be in to check on you later.”

Toby let herself out and headed down the hall to the waiting room. Now that she had seen her mother, now that she knew she was going to be okay, she had something else to take care of—begging Noah to forgive her and telling him she loved him.

But what if, between her failure to confess her love for him, and her mother’s last stunt, he’d decided to wash his hands of her drama-filled life?

She let out a sigh and pushed the thoughts from her mind. She wouldn’t know until she spoke with Noah. No sense dwelling on the worst case scenario—a lonely life without the only man she could imagine ever loving.

****

When Toby entered the waiting room, she found Noah sitting in one of the small plastic chairs, his long legs stretched out before him, a copy of Look Magazine in his hands. He glanced up and tossed the magazine aside. “How’s your mom?”

“She’s good. She’s going to be fine. She said to tell you thank you. And I want to thank you, too. What you did was really brave.”

He shrugged. “No thanks necessary. I’m just glad she’s okay.” He stood and stretched. “Listen, I’m beat. Are you going to stick around for a while, or do you need me to run you to get your car?”

Dread settled in her chest. He seemed so…distant. “Actually, can you stay for…just a little while? I wanted to talk to you.”

“Sure, what about?”

She glanced around at the curious gazes pointed in their direction. “Can we go outside?”

He nodded and led her out the emergency room doors. The night air held a hint of rain, and she took a deep breath of the refreshing scent, trying to steel her resolve. Nerves settled in the pit of her stomach. She chewed on her thumbnail as she searched for words.

“Toby?” His voice was soft. “What is it?”

She raised her head. Her heart gave a little skip when she looked into his golden-brown eyes. “I know that you’ve given up on me. I don’t blame you, but please hear me out.”

He narrowed his eyes, but didn’t speak.

“I realize I’ve been stubborn, and unfair, and—”

“Pig-headed?” he supplied.

She gave him an irritated frown. “That means the same as stubborn. Anyway, yes, I’ve been all those things. I shouldn’t have rejected you…your love. I was just so confused, so hurt. But then…when I saw you run into that burning house…” Her breath caught on a sob. “You risked your life to save Mom. You could have died.”

He shrugged. “But I didn’t.”

The remembered panic filled her again. “I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you…forever. You were right, rather than being angry or mistrustful because I saw you with my mother, I was frightened. I was afraid I would be just like her, and you would figure that out, then you wouldn’t want me anymore.”

He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. “Why would you think you’re like your mother?”

“Because, I…” She shrugged. “That night at Make Out Point, I wanted to…have…” She paused, her face heating. “Well, you know.”

“You wanted to make love with me.”

His quiet words sent a rush of warmth through her veins. “Yes,” she whispered. “You were the one who…who put a stop to it. I was loose and easy. I—”

“Loose and easy mean the same thing.”

She shot him a glare. His lips twitched in amusement.

“You’re not making this very easy for me,” she snapped.

“Well, maybe you should get to the point.”

“The point is, only a…bad girl…would do that. If I’m not like my mother, then why was I ready to give you my…”

“Virginity?”

She nodded and dropped her gaze.

He tucked a finger beneath her chin and lifted until she was looking at him. “Why did you want to make love with me?”

A quiver ran through her chest and settled in her lower belly. “Uh…why? Because, I’m a tramp.”

“How many other guys have you made out with, wanted to sleep with?”

She frowned. “None. Just you.

“Why?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Is it really because you’re a tramp? You have no feelings for me? You would have sex with just anyone?”

“No, no. of course I wouldn’t.”

“Then why?”

“Because…” She squeezed her eyes shut briefly, then opened them. Now was the time. She was tired of holding back. “Because I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

A smile lit his face. “And you’re not a tramp.”

She smiled back. “And I’m not a tramp.”

“That’s more like it.” He tugged her to him, and his firm lips found hers in a mind-drugging kiss. Desire stole through her limbs. Heat settled low in her belly. She looped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss, moaning a sigh of pleasure. He lifted his mouth only slightly. His gaze was hooded, the gold of his eyes turning to a rich amber. “You know, I took in some smoke myself. I’m feeling a little weak. You could easily take advantage of me.”

She laughed, and just like that, the loneliness lifted from her soul. “You think I’m going to take advantage of a wounded hero? Is that what you want?”

He gave her a devilish wink. “I was hoping.” His expression turned serious. “What I want, all I’ve ever wanted, is to marry you.”

She closed her eyes momentarily, basking in the joy of hearing those words from Noah. He wanted to marry her…even after all they’d been through. “Oh, Noah, I want that too, but I need to finish college. I want to be a teacher. I can’t let that go.”

“Then you can finish school while we’re married. I’ll help you. Or we’ll get married after you finish. I’ll wait. I will do anything you want me to. Anything except walk away.”

As wonderful as being Noah’s wife sounded, was she really the kind of woman who could make him happy? “I want this, so much. But…” She shook her head. “What kind of wife would I make? Look at where I come from.”

He cupped her face in his hands and planted a deep, warm kiss on her lips, then pulled away, still holding onto her. He took her hand and wrapped it in his, placed it on his chest. Through the material of his shirt, heat radiated to her skin. “It doesn’t matter where you come from.” He slid her hand until it was over his heart. “This is where you are now.”

A word about the author...

Alicia Dean lives in Edmond, Oklahoma, and is the mother of three grown children. Alicia loves creating spine-chilling stories that keep readers on the edge of their seats. She’s a huge Elvis Presley fan, and loves MLB and the NFL. If you look closely, you’ll see a reference to one or all three in pretty much everything she writes. If she could, she would divide all her time between writing, watching her favorite television shows—such as Dexter (before it was canceled, she’s still hoping he comes back), Vampire Diaries, Justified, and True Blood—and reading her favorite authors...Stephen King, Dennis Lehane, Michael Connelly, Lee Child, and Lisa Gardner, to name a few.

Find her here:

Email: AliciaMDean@aol.com

Website: http://aliciadean.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Alicia-Dean/131939826889437?ref=br_tf

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Alicia_Dean_

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Other Alicia Dean titles

available from The Wild Rose Press, Inc.:

CASTER’S UNFRIENDLY GHOST

KILLER LOVE (Boxed set with 4 suspense stories)

NOTHING TO FEAR

TEARS OF THE WOUNDED

POETIC INJUSTICE

TRULY MADLY

THICKER THAN WATER

A KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Thank you for purchasing
this publication of The Wild Rose Press, Inc.